Insane in the Membrane

Conspiracy O’ The Week: Obama Will Declare Christians Insane, Put Them In Asylums, Feed On Their Souls

Sure,  she'll make a great immortal princess. What could go wrong?OK, fine, wingnuts, we told you a week ago to knock it off with the dumb conspiracy theories already, but did you listen? Of course you didn’t. Fine, have it your way, we’ll just continue to point and laugh, then. What is it THIS time? Oh, Barack Obama is working with the American Psychiatric Association to classify Christianity as a mental illness, so that he can then use the Affordable Care Act to put all conservative Christians in asylums, thereby sweeping aside the last best hope of Patriot America? Sure. We heard about that, but that’s just Erik Rush, that guy who thinks we need to execute journalists to save free speech. Nobody else is dumb enough to buy into that, right? Ah, we forgot that paragon of reason, the American Family Association, which thinks that children being nice to each other is a front for gay marriage and gave Loon Extraordinaire Bryan Fischer a job as its spokesman-for-life. Yes, so now another AFA guy, Buster Wilson, has taken to the airwaves to speculate that the government is planning to classify Christians as mentally ill and “get us out of the picture.” Fine, but isn’t that what the FEMA Camps are for?

So, what bits of almost-real evidence have these guys wrapped up with Occam’s Duct Tape to construct this one? Well, for one thing, Erik Rush noticed that the APA will soon be releasing its new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, aka the DSM-V, and also says that the APA

has essentially redefined such things as homosexuality, gender identification disorder, and pedophilia to reflect what pressure groups and the liberal intelligentsia wish, rather than continuing to describe them as psychologically aberrant.

Needless to say, he’s right that the APA no longer classifies being gay or transgendered as a mental illness; as far as we can tell, the notion that the APA seeks to “normalize pedophilia” is largely a right-wing myth that stems from arguments about how best to define pedophilia as a diagnostic category, but nobody at the APA endorses kiddy-fiddling. And in 2014, Obamacare goes into effect. Two things happening near each other must mean that they are closely related, so of course, the new DSM-V will help Obama to destroy the last thing that “stands as the chief impediment to a Marxist America: Christianity.”

I believe that we shall see an increasing incidence of sinister provisions in Obamacare coming to light, and conflict within the medical and legal communities as to the government’s latitude in these areas.

In the area of mental illness, given the administration’s totalitarian bent, this could mean an era of atrocities galore. Have you ever suffered from anxiety? Depression? Had “anger issues?” Have you ever been treated for drug addiction or alcoholism? Had trouble sleeping? Any of these and a host of others might be used as a pretext for one’s designation as a mental defective. One might suddenly discover that due to some benign neurosis or psychological episode, perhaps in their distant past, their constitutional rights have been nullified overnight.

Rush also throws in the fact that the USSR shipped dissidents off to mental hospitals and adds in the NRA’s call for dealing with gun violence by keeping tabs on the mentally ill, not guns, because duh, and determines that these two things will inevitably come to pass here in U.S. America:

In the case of those who pose the most dire threat to Obama’s designs – Christians – these will certainly be targeted. After all, who more demonstrably epitomizes mental instability in the eyes of the Marxist atheist than those who commune with and rely upon that which is unseen? To the Marxist, God is no more real than Elwood’s “Harvey,” and even more antiquated than the Constitution.

Hey – did you hear they carted Mr. Rush off in a straitjacket last night? I had no idea he was mentally ill! Well, better that than he shoots up a school or something…

So then Buster Wilson weighed in, noting that the Left’s terrible hateful language toward the only people who truly love America is already poisoning the public discourse, so that once Obama is ready to start rounding people up, everyone will be predisposed to just sit back and let it happen:

Someday I believe that they are going to be attacks against Christians based on some form of mental illness diagnosis. I think it is not without reason that the left refers to people like us as those loony, right-wing fanatics or right-wing radicals, far-right-wing nut jobs. I think it is by design that they use those kinds of terminologies against us because one day I think there is going to be something in the hand of doctors, something in the hands of the CDC, something in the hands of the government that will be able to classify us a certain way and get us out of the picture.

Because, of course, where figurative language goes, repression and murder inevitably follow, right? We will therefore refrain from saying anything about these guys being maybe just slightly paranoid or disconnected from reality, lest we confirm their fears that we have a nefarious plot in mind. In fact, we’d like to cheer them up by sharing a little musical number:

[Right Wing Watch / twice!]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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