Wonkette: The D.C. Gossip

that's not sexual orientation transcendence

Obama Indirectly Calls All Of His Supporters Gay

According to the national press corps outlet CNN, Obama not only wears jeans sometimes on his airplane, but he also plays Taboo — with them! Check out this "interesting moment" from the heat of the action: "An interesting moment came when an Obama staffer was looking at the word 'gap.' His clue: a place where gay people shop. Before the word was accurately guessed, other reporters said they heard one staffer shout the store 'H&M' and heard Obama say 'Abercrombie & Fitch.'" It is well known that Abercrombie & Fitch clothes 95% of Obama's young supporters, meaning they shop there, meaning they are gay. And that's racist. [CNN]

1:21 PM on Fri May 9 2008
By Jim Newell
79 views, 11 comments

Latest by Botswana Meat Commission FC: @metropolitan: H&M is easily the gayest part of my life. more »

UH OH — PEGGY NOONAN IS MAKING SENSE: Yes, she does scream in Latin at some point, but otherwise this week's Peggy's World is probably the best column on Hillary's Last Stand. Scary times, scary times .... [Wall Street Journal]

39 comments

clever ploys

John McCain's Top 5 Winning Campaign Strategies Revealed!

The presumptive Republican presidential nominee may not have the money, star power, or party affiliation of his opponent, but that doesn't mean he won't win the presidency this November! He just needs to spend his wooden nickels wisely and hope that Candidate Obama has 50 more scary preachers where the first lunatic came from. Other supersecret campaign techniques after the jump. More »

12:18 PM on Fri May 9 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1,068 views, 25 comments

Cartoon Violence

The Sad Ballad Of Hillary Clinton

By the Comics Curmudgeon
In the wake of her defeat in North Carolina, and her win in Indiana that wasn't winny enough for most people's tastes, Hillary Clinton now heads a campaign haunted by the lingering stench of death. The question is, has her nose been so damaged by snorting the metaphorical cocaine of white working class approbation that she can't smell it? Check out America's cartoonists' take on the death march, after the jump. More »

12:10 PM on Fri May 9 2008
By Josh Fruhlinger
1,590 views, 13 comments

THREE MORE SUPERDELEGATES, PLUS A UNION ENDORSEMENT: Hopey just got a nod from the American Federation of Government Employees and picked up another three superdelegates (including a Clinton traitor). That means Obama is now five (and a half?) superdelgates shy of Hillary's total. [AP/Yahoo]

24 comments

Jenna Bush

Your Guide To Jenna Bush's Trashy Texas Wedding

Finally, George and Laura have almost married off one of the First Twins! It only took eight years, but Jenna found a "taker" and she's getting hitched tomorrow at her parents' fake "ranch" in Crawford, which sounds only a little better than "Waco," and it's time to celebrate the occasion with a bunch of bullshit trivia, after the jump. More »

11:40 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Ken Layne
1,941 views, 56 comments

Latest by shortsshortsshorts: If they breed, the horseman will surely follow. more »

world's biggest asshole

Bill Clinton Is A Petulant Jerk

Jesus, did anybody ever like this guy? Well, whatever "good will" he established by, uh, having an affair with a fat gal in the Oval Office, that's all long gone. Now, there is only this shouty red-faced old man who is going to personally argue with every old hillbilly lady that Hillary has carefully courted all year. [YouTube/CBS News]

11:05 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Ken Layne
1,017 views, 71 comments

guttermouths

Canadian Legislator Resigns In Disgrace After Calling His Colleague A 'Dumb B-Word'

In Canada, they have a form of government that involves things called "legislative assemblies" or something, and a member of the Saskatchewan Legislative Assembly resigned as a secretary to the Premier after he called a fellow lawmaker a "dumb bitch." Basically, a remark that Nancy Pelosi hears a dozen times a day before breakfast made these poor polite Canadians go into palpitations and resign all over the place. More »

10:47 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Sara K. Smith
684 views, 30 comments

disaster films

Relive The Magic Of Florida In 2000!

It is finally here, this frigging movie about the Florida recount, airing May 25 on HBO. We will stock up on ammo so that we can shoot the television with our left-handed Mauser. [YouTube via FilmDrunk]

10:09 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Sara K. Smith
353 views, 40 comments

beloved political icons

Nearly 25% Of Republicans Still Despise John McCain

The enfeebled Mexican liberal John McCain might be the presumptive nominee of the Republican party, but that didn't stop about 25 percent of the Republican voters in recent primaries from casting their ballots for such worthies as Alan Keyes, Ron Paul, Mike Huckabee, and "Undecided." So how will the candidate who is barely tolerated by most of his voters and enthusiastically loathed by a significant few hope to do in the fall? More »

9:31 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1,181 views, 40 comments

Daily Briefing

Circling The Drain

Privately, Clinton campaign staffers try to figure out how the scrappy fighter candidate can maintain her working-class warrior image while also gracefully bowing out of the race. [Los Angeles Times]
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton now each have the public support of 99 members of Congress. [The Hill]
In the terrible California housing foreclosure crisis, one elite group wins big: mosquito fish, which can live happily in the infested swimming pools of abandoned homes and keep mosquito populations down. [Wall Street Journal]
John McCain was involved in another dull, complicated, unseemly land swap deal that everyone will ignore because it involved zero blow jobs. [Washington Post]
Myanmar's junta government seizes relief shipments while turning back aid workers, saying, "Just give us the food etc. and we will take care of the distribution." The U.N. then suspends all shipments until the problem is resolved. [New York Times, AP]

8:49 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Sara K. Smith
327 views, 24 comments

Latest by lascauxcaveman: @Cicada: "That's a very good questions, Cicada. Because as I've always said, if this election is about anything, its about ... uh, stuff" [old SNL/Clinton routine] more »

the end

A Fitting Eulogy To Deborah Jeane Palfrey

"The Senate Ethics Committee declined Thursday to investigate Sen. David Vitter, who was linked to an escort service whose owner was convicted in federal court and subsequently committed suicide." But of course. [AP]

8:13 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Jim Newell
2,068 views, 66 comments

walnuts! and mom

John McCain's Heartfelt Mother's Day Message

Is this scripted? Because even if it's scripted, Roberta McCain still appears to be babbling nonsense like a 96-year-old hobo, which she is. What is this about giving John McCain 27 bottles of scotch when he was born? [YouTube]

5:15 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Jim Newell
1,288 views, 68 comments

A WAY FOR HILLARY TO WIN? A superdelegate in California is selling his vote for $20 Million Dollar$. He will then give the money to Mexican voters. Is this the magic math Hillary needs to succeed? [CBS 13]

36 comments

Buy JFK's Air Guitar For Next To Nothing!

Some jokester is selling an "air guitar owned by JFK" on eBay for $5,000, and to give credit where it's due, the American people have not placed any bids yet. Silly eBay merchant, the correct way to run this scheme is by selling an "air Constitution owned by Ron Paul" and raising the minimum bid to $300 million. Hey, we should actually do this... [eBay]

4:39 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Jim Newell
1,124 views, 34 comments

Latest by porter melmoth: Nikita was a fan of the punk band the Dead Kennedys. First album was the best. more »

sit down, i can't see it!

BREAKING: OBAMA WEARS JEANS, TALKS ON TELEPHONE

The national press corps has found EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT CNN footage of Obama wearing — gasp — jeans on his airplane, while talking on the phone. Watch this inflammatory CNN video here of Obama wearing a certain type of common pants. John McCain calls them "dungarees." [CNN]

4:12 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Jim Newell
2,756 views, 85 comments

WHAT IS WITH SOME PEOPLE: Another Fat Cat Clinton supporter, Harvey Weinstein, apparently had a heated conversation with Nancy Pelosi late last month where he "threatened to cut off contributions to congressional Democrats unless House Speaker Nancy Pelosi embraced his plan to finance revotes in Florida and Michigan." It should be noted that Harvey Weinstein makes movies for a living. [CNN]

45 comments

Ron Paul Retracts Endorsement Of Racist Nut