Hooray, it's time for the great big Democratic Unity Lovefest, isn't it? Everybody's been pretty well-behaved so far, we hear, with only a couple of completely embarrassing outbreaks of rude screaming by Toddlers For...

“Bernie basically fed us a bunch of Mountain Dew and now he wants us to go to bed," Iowa delegate Chris Laursen told the Des Moines Register. "It’s not going to happen.” Yeah, no shit....
OK, we do like the little kid with the 'Sing About Clean Air' Sign.

Bernie Sanders's former campaign manager thinks diehard Bernie supporters could act a little less like Trump supporters. Dreamer.
That 'this is the real world' line didn't go over so great.

Bernie Sanders gave his pre-convention valedictory to supporters Monday, but darned if they're ready to let him quit. Guys, he's done. He says he's done!

Wonkette Business

Why isn't Mercedes sponsoring wind farms? The branding is right there!

Here's a company that's using the good ol' free market to expand the reach of clean wind power. You want to save the planet, don't you?

Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a ... Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like "cool, Holofernes, I will...

How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...

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Wonkette assumes no liability for nightmares resulting from this Photoshop

Before we start pooping on him, let's first stipulate that both I and Yr Editrix are very happy with the Kaine pick. His first speech as Hillary's running mate was shockingly good. Not only...
We got a great deal on last year's memes!

What's more likely? Racist Democrats making up brand-new (and awkward) slurs for Latinos, or wingnuts ignoring context completely?

Michael Jordan is a very big superstar important person! Will this help change the conversation?

Boo along with the Florida delegation at Debbie Wasserman-Schultz!

How can Scottie Nell Hughes be expected to understand such confusing, un-American things?
And you should resign, too

One of the leaked DNC emails shows party operatives floated the idea of hinting Bernie Sanders was an atheist. Good lord, that was stupid.
Celing Putin is watching you masturbate

Happy Back To The Rat Race Day, Wonketariat! Are you looking forward to the coronation of the Khaleesi this week in Philadelphia, where the Democratic National Convention is expected to be a stark contrast to...

OOH YOU LIKE PICTURES OOH THEY MAKE YOU SO 'SCITED.

Donald Trump, being a total freaking lunatic himself, has captured the hearts and minds of fringe conspiracy theorists across the internet. Alex Jones, a man who believes that the government is making kids gay...
Both screencaps are from teevee shows starting with 'State of...' Isn't that something?

Just in time for the Democratic National Convention, Debbie-Wasserman Schultz has fired herself. Bloody well about time.

Well a good groggy Monday to you, Wonkers! It was pretty hot this weekend, hopefully you didn't melt into a gross puddle and get mistaken for a Pokemon. Here's some of the stories that...
Jane, you igneous slut

It's time for our Sunday visit to the deleted comments queue. Please wear appropriate eye protection.
dear leader plz don't steal our emails

North Korean leader Kim Jon-un has revealed a miracle cancer cure: springwater that has "smaller molecules." See? Commies don't need filthy capitalism to be charlatans!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW.

MOAR TRAVEL TIPS FROM WONKET.

Trump/Nixonian hatchet-man organizes fight between man-babies backstage at the RNC.

Hillary Clinton is announcing her VP pick today! Let's watch, shall we? We shall!
Don't you want a t-shirt that looks like this? CLICK INSIDE TO GET IT!

Evan's Tour D'America continues!
Looking quite relaxed, here's David Duke on vibes

He says he believes in equal rights for all, but wants to take a stand for 'European Americans.'