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Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to […]

Would you believe that we have not brought you the thought-like pronouncements of the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer since December? Too long! And it seems that Mr. Fischer has continued a little further down the tracks that he was laying last time, when he said that the First Amendment only applies to Christians, because […]

You may have read about the performance-art “Satanists” who have offered to build a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma Statehouse; under the law’s clause claiming that the state doesn’t favor “any particular religion or denomination,” it looks like the law pretty much says the state would have to allow it, right? Not so […]

Bryan J. Fischer, the issues director of the good ol’ American Family Association, who has many interesting Thoughts on interesting Topics, has some airtight logic for us, and that is that if the Founders did not want a Christianist theocracy, then why did they put a date on the Constitution, HENGGHHHHH? Did Bryan J. Fischer […]

The American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer believes in resurrection, so on Thursday’s edition of the Bryan Fischer Balderdash Radio Hour he brought back a conspiracy theory from two years ago: the claim that Barack Obama was photoshopped into a photo of the White House Situation Room on the night he singlehandedly didn’t murder Osama Bin […]

Here is a video of the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer casually telling a story about a couple of encounters that he’s had with real actual demons. No big whoop, just another day for a Slayer. It’s part of a longer segment on his dumb radio show where he talks about the popular ghosty movie […]

Bryan Fischer, don’t you ever change! You’re a perfect special snowflake of pure stupid, and even if by some miracle the entire wingnut-Christianist nexus in American politics somehow went away tomorrow, we would want some tiny portion of it preserved in a lab somewhere for study — assuming a proper containment regimen could be maintained. […]

Oh, golly, kids, we think the SCOTUS decisions throwing out DOMA and Prop 8 may have actually broken poor Bryan Fischer. Just look at the sorry mess he threw up on the American Patriarchy Association’s blog Thursday. See, he’s going to really rip on those liberal Justices, using their own twisted sick logic to expose […]

Look, Bryan Fischer, we are all getting pretty tired of the unseemly attention you have been giving to Boy Scouts and teh ghey lately. It as if this topic has turned you into some sort of tiresome one-trick…animal whose name we have forgotten at the moment. And of course, we knew that you’d go just […]

Sorry, Homosexual America, but Bryan Fischer is thinking about You People again. By golly, it’s almost as if Bryan Fischer can’t think of many things other than gay people. This time, the mouthpiece for the American Patriarchy Association is having kittens over the possibility that the Boy Scouts of America may vote to allow sodomites […]

Bryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard […]

Pity Bryan Fischer. After spending much of the GOP primary season telling the Christian Right that Mormons aren’t real Christians (and that the First Amendment doesn’t even apply to them), Fischer’s worst fear was realized: The Heretic won the primary, Fischer was not invited to speak at this year’s Values Voter Summit, and now the […]

Perfidious cockbucket Todd Akin received enthusiastic support Tuesday from noted insane persons Phyllis Schlafly and Bryan Fischer. Remarkably, this is not expected to hurt his chances for election to the US Senate. Reaching previously unplumbed depths of either cluelessness or chicanery — even for her — Ms. Schlafly carefully explained that Akin was not in […]

Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are […]

In a plain case of “Blessed are the poor for Bryan Fischer wants them dead,” the radio host and director of issues analysis at the American Family Association recently overshared some characteristically Deep Thoughts on fixing godless heathen Obamacare. The following Guide to A Good Christian’s Healthcare may prove helpful. Hospitals should send the poor […]