Search Results for “"bryan fischer"”

  Point and laugh some more

Wingnut Texas AG Has Hilarious, Beautiful Meltdown Over Gay Marriage

The schadenfreude is almost as fun as the equality.
...will and spark concern among anyone who believes in religious liberty and freedom for all. Wow, and we thought Bryan Fischer’s declaration that 6/26/15 is the new 9/11 was insane.  (It was. It was very insane.) Earth to Paxton:  The only way this ruling will affect Texas wingnuts is that it’ll make life a little more uncomfortable for the severe closet cases who scream about the gay agenda, and then go home to dutifully, occasionally...
  After we stopped crying we started giggling

Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America

HELP, JESUS! marriage down the throatholes of every God-fearing American, our first instinct (AFTER CRYING) was go check Bryan Fischer’s Twitter-Twatter page. And he had said nothing! “WAKE UP, BRYAN FISCHER!,” we said to no one in particular, but apparently we successfully summoned the demon, because HOLY SHIT Y’ALL, he is having a meltdown of the most beautiful, epic proportions. Let’s point and laugh as Bryan ...
  They're getting Holocausted too probably

Oppressed Wingnuts: Please Stop Lynching Us With Gay Rainbow Flag!

Yeah, those are totally the same.
...he Blacks? Well fair’s fair, take down your fag flag too, because it hurts our pussy-ass FEELINGS.” Bryan Fischer will start us off, because nobody can top Bryan Fischer in the bugfuck insane department. All others who repeat his words are simply Bryan Fischer’s Big Nelly Bottoms: “If we are going to remove symbols of oppression from our culture, if we come to the point where we say any flag that represents ...
  We Get Letters

Yr Wonket’s New Wingnut Admirer Wants To Put His Peen In A Liberal Lady Editor

Always nice to hear from our fans
...ery idiot we write about that we intend to write about them being idiots; for one thing, we assume Jeb Bush and Bryan Fischer would tire of the constant notifications. Just in case we didn’t click the linky in the comment, he also sent another email to Yr Editrix, to be sure she understood that he had a “tip” for her. Get it? Get it? A TIP!: Hey Rebecca, I’ve got a ‘Tip’ for you, Sweetheart !!! The tip of my Co...
  Heroism Nice Time

Two WW I Heroes Finally American Enough To Receive Medals Of Honor They Earned

Ina has what Rachel Maddow would call a Muppet Smile there
...ighest military honor while they were still alive. We’re looking forward to the inevitable complaint from Bryan Fischer that the medals were feminized or something. In his remarks at the ceremony, President Obama said: We are a nation — a people — who remember our heroes. We take seriously our responsibility to only send them when war is necessary. We strive to care for them and their families when they come home. We never forge...
  The poor dears

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner. meltdowns over Caitlyn Jenner’s transition. Whatcha doin’, American Family Association hate goon Bryan Fischer? Taking a bold stand for Real American Christian Pronoun Usage, is what he’s doing: “My heart, frankly, goes out to Bruce Jenner. I’m not going to call him Caitlyn Jenner because that’s not his name and I’m not going to refer to him as a she. He’s a he. He’s a he in every single so...
  Mad About A Thing

Family Values Republicans Just Fine With Gross Duggar Family Sex-Criming

Was 19 Kids And Counting also the name of Josh Duggar's bucket list?
...ting around on gay hook-up sites; we just haven’t found them yet. And really, does anyone want to see how Bryan Fischer tries to score some hot homo lovin’? Ugh and no fucking way. Josh Duggar and his sick, corrupt, valueless family aren’t the exception. They’re the rule. And while corporate sponsors of the suspended-for-now TLC show 19 Kids And Counting, like Walgreens and Payless, have the good sense to run as far and fa...
  Like On A Trail You Know?

Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike

It will look just like this.
...the organization. Despite the fact that we are talking about KIDS, this did not stop religious right goons like Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson from making juvenile rage jokes about sodomy badges and also Boy Scouts’ firm young buttocks, because Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson probably need professional help. Well, it turns out that those guys’ sexiest nightmares might come true, because former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, curre...
  low hanging fruit

Mike Huckabee: Hawking Fake Diabetes Cures Proves I’ll Be A Great President

Yours for only $19.95, bitches., ready and willing to absorb dishonest, bigoted swill from the likes of Joseph Farah, Pam Geller and Bryan Fischer, and you’re also willing to cheer for Mike Huckabee’s fearmongering, prudish campaign platform, you are PROBABLY also a wingnut who is willing to believe that you can cure cancer with this one little trick that the “experts” won’t tell you about. Republican presidential candidates and online f...
  wingnut slapfight

Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut ‘News’ Websites

Bryan Fischer’s butthole is in an extra-twitchy state (not the Michelle Malkin kind of twitchy; or wait, come to think of it, yes the Malkin kind), as he is feeling BETRAYED! You see, one of the wingnut websites he likes,, has a known homosexual in its midst, by the name of Guy Benson, political editor. And Benson is a dirty homo, as he reveals in a new book out this week. Let your freak flag fly, Fischer: The political edito...
  we can't say we haven't been warned

Wingnut Tony Perkins: If Supreme Court Gay Marriages Us, We Might All Die

We just hope we've stockpiled enough rations! Family Research Council figuredickhead Tony Perkins’s radio show this week: CALLER: I was listening to Bryan Fischer, and there was a question about if the Supreme Court decides to go with gay marriage, which I hope they never do — but anyway, I was listening to Bryan Fischer, and to show you how far this can get out of hand, I heard Bryan speak about a woman had married a house. That’s really strange, isn’t it? PERKINS...
  hail mary

Wingnuts’ Last-Ditch Effort To Make Justices Stay Home On Gay Marriage Day Shockingly Unsuccessful

Oh now that's just tacky.
...sts left, they all talk to each other, so Lively’s pouty demands might sound familiar. In January, it was Bryan Fischer and the American Family Association, demanding that Ginsburg and Kagan take the day off from Supreme Court-ing today, and go play softball or something. Media Matters reports that the National Organization for Marriage (NOM nom nom) is also a part of this hilariously dead end “campaign” to get Supreme Court jus...
  Wonket Think Piece

Rick Perry Might Go To A Gay Wedding, But Would He F*ck A Groomsman?

Spit it out to make room for your foot, Rick Perry, or a dildo, whatever.
...tter manners and slightly better hair. On Friday, the American Family Association’s loudest hate-squealer Bryan Fischer spent time on his show advising his listeners that IF they are being pressured to go to a gay wedding, they should send the gay couple a nice letter explaining that they are bigots and that they most certainly do NOT give their blessing. Then and only then are they allowed to go, and they are most certainly not allowed to...
  Numbers don't lie

Americans Cool With The Gay Marriage, Don’t Care About Your Dumb Religious Freedom

Too bad, so sad
...t means when the Supreme Court lets us know (soon, guys, so soon!) that it really is A-OK and also constitutional too for gays to do marriage to each other, a majority of the country will be dancin’ in the streets, while a minority of florists and bakers and pizza-makers, and that asshole Bryan Fischer, will be sobbing into their pillows about how this is the end of everything. Boo. Hoo. [Reuters / Image credit: Matthew Inman, The Oatmeal]...
  Nice Time Lesbian Apparel Update

Super Rad Louisiana Lesbian Will Dance At Her Prom In A Tuxedo After All!

Take THAT, tuxedo snatchers! that there is somebody in the situation who will take this as evidence that Big Gay controls everything, and Bryan Fischer will probably explain on the radio how this is JUST LIKE THE NAZIS, but the reality is simply that in 2015, anti-gay bigotry just doesn’t sit will with the townspeople! A lot of people out there are willing to stand up these days and say, “Hey, stop being an asshole to this nice honors student girl who happens...

Thanks A Lot, Liberals, For LITERALLY HOLOCAUSTING That Dumb Bigot Pizza Place Family

Another day of being forced to make gay pizzas. Sigh. stunt, earning them more than half a million dollars and counting. The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer — a constant and competitive contender for worst person alive for the bile he regularly sharts from his face on his radio show and the interwebs, including regularly invoking Hitler while also insisting this country ain’t made for The Jews and The Muslims, and bacon proves it — announced the official kick...
  Can we be done talking about this now?

Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills

Just suck it up
...uts are pissed! Spinning our Twitter Wheel Of Bigots at random, we find the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, in full meltdown mode: Is that like a demolition derby? Sounds serious! Spinning the wheel one more time, we have landed on whining Fox News moron Todd Starnes, who seems very upset: In case you do not get it, that is a timely reference to Judas, who reportedly betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. In this analogy, Jesu...
  Pour One Out For 'Dr. Chaps'

CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk

Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt
...the hiatus will only last six weeks, until the end of the legislative session. We can get by on Pat Robertson, Bryan Fischer, Kevin Swanson, and a host of other loons while “Dr. Chaps” recharges his Derp Batteries. As a committed atheist, Yr. Doktor Zoom is fairly sure there’s no Jehovah, but the fact that Gordon Klingenschmitt has a career in public life does make us speculate that any number of mythological Trickster figures...
  Here have some Nice Time you deserve it

Nice Republicans Demand SCOTUS Give Them All The Gay Marriages

...e this signing on. Jennifer Rubin, in her piece, argues that, much to the chagrin of the perpetually hysterical Bryan Fischer and Tony Perkins types, who are wishin’ and hopin’ that Americans will react to a marriage decision the way they did to Roe v. Wade, even Republican politicians who currently oppose marriage equality will most likely just shrug their shoulders and respect the law, and Bryan and Tony might have to get REAL JOBS....
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: How Can You Libs Like Rachel Maddow When She’s Always Wrong?

Just try to keep the Yaks happy
...tch her while you can. She is responsible for MSNBC’s demise (good riddance). She got the fact wrong that Bryan Fischer had been fired and now it’s going to come back to bite her. Poor Rachel. Bye bye. Haw haw, she is a DUDE! And she was completely wrong about Bryan Fischer being fired, except for the part where Bryan Fischer actually was fired from his position as “director of issues analysis” for the American ...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All

He'd be easier to find if he wore a striped sweater
...Rachel Maddow closed Wednesday’s show with an update to the story that got rightwing religious wacakloon Bryan Fischer fired (or at least demoted) from his job as spokesman for the American Family Association. You see, the AFA was paying for some 60 members of the Republican National Committee, including its chairman, Reince Priebus, to take a free trip to Israel, because fundagelicals just love Israel so much, what with it being an essent...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Egad, The RNC Still Has A Religious Bigotry Problem? (Video)

Two very expressive letters
...nal Committee’s plans to take a free trip to Israel, paid for by the American Family Association, home of Bryan Fischer, one of the most prominent wackadoodles in rightwing media. This is sort of a perplexing choice by the RNC, given Fischer’s insistence that the U.S. Constitution applies only to Christians, and immigrants to this country should be forced to convert. The AFA “solved” that problem by firing Fischer from one...