Search Results for “"bryan fischer"”

  Wonket Think Piece

Rick Perry Might Go To A Gay Wedding, But Would He F*ck A Groomsman?

That's right governor, no teeth.
...tter manners and slightly better hair. On Friday, the American Family Association’s loudest hate-squealer Bryan Fischer spent time on his show advising his listeners that IF they are being pressured to go to a gay wedding, they should send the gay couple a nice letter explaining that they are bigots and that they most certainly do NOT give their blessing. Then and only then are they allowed to go, and they are most certainly not allowed to...
  Numbers don't lie

Americans Cool With The Gay Marriage, Don’t Care About Your Dumb Religious Freedom

Too bad, so sad
...means when the Supreme Court lets us know (soon, guys, so soon!) that it really is A-OK and also constitutional too for gays to do marriage to each other, a majority of the country will be dancin’ in the streets, while a minority of florists and bakers and pizza-makers, and that asshole Bryan Fischer, will be sobbing into their pillows about how this is the end of everything. Boo. Hoo. [Reuters / Image credit: Matthew Inman, The Oatmeal]...
  Nice Time Lesbian Apparel Update

Super Rad Louisiana Lesbian Will Dance At Her Prom In A Tuxedo After All!

Take THAT, tuxedo snatchers! that there is somebody in the situation who will take this as evidence that Big Gay controls everything, and Bryan Fischer will probably explain on the radio how this is JUST LIKE THE NAZIS, but the reality is simply that in 2015, anti-gay bigotry just doesn’t sit will with the townspeople! A lot of people out there are willing to stand up these days and say, “Hey, stop being an asshole to this nice honors student girl who happens...

Thanks A Lot, Liberals, For LITERALLY HOLOCAUSTING That Dumb Bigot Pizza Place Family

Another day of being forced to make gay pizzas. Sigh.
...ity stunt, earning them more than half a million dollars and counting. The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer — a constant and competitive contender for worst person alive for the bile he regularly sharts from his face on his radio show and the interwebs, including regularly invoking Hitler while also insisting this country ain’t made for The Jews and The Muslims, and bacon proves it — announced the official kick...
  Can we be done talking about this now?

Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills

No, they haven't actually done this yet, but THEY WILL SOON.
...uts are pissed! Spinning our Twitter Wheel Of Bigots at random, we find the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, in full meltdown mode: Is that like a demolition derby? Sounds serious! Spinning the wheel one more time, we have landed on whining Fox News moron Todd Starnes, who seems very upset: In case you do not get it, that is a timely reference to Judas, who reportedly betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. In this analogy, Je...
  Pour One Out For 'Dr. Chaps'

CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk

Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt
...the hiatus will only last six weeks, until the end of the legislative session. We can get by on Pat Robertson, Bryan Fischer, Kevin Swanson, and a host of other loons while “Dr. Chaps” recharges his Derp Batteries. As a committed atheist, Yr. Doktor Zoom is fairly sure there’s no Jehovah, but the fact that Gordon Klingenschmitt has a career in public life does make us speculate that any number of mythological Trickster figures...
  Here have some Nice Time you deserve it

Nice Republicans Demand SCOTUS Give Them All The Gay Marriages

...e this signing on. Jennifer Rubin, in her piece, argues that, much to the chagrin of the perpetually hysterical Bryan Fischer and Tony Perkins types, who are wishin’ and hopin’ that Americans will react to a marriage decision the way they did to Roe v. Wade, even Republican politicians who currently oppose marriage equality will most likely just shrug their shoulders and respect the law, and Bryan and Tony might have to get REAL JOBS....
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: How Can You Libs Like Rachel Maddow When She’s Always Wrong?

Twilight Sparkle and Rachel Maddow would be buds, for sure.
...tch her while you can. She is responsible for MSNBC’s demise (good riddance). She got the fact wrong that Bryan Fischer had been fired and now it’s going to come back to bite her. Poor Rachel. Bye bye. Haw haw, she is a DUDE! And she was completely wrong about Bryan Fischer being fired, except for the part where Bryan Fischer actually was fired from his position as “director of issues analysis” for the American ...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All

He'd be easier to find if he wore a striped sweater
...Rachel Maddow closed Wednesday’s show with an update to the story that got rightwing religious wacakloon Bryan Fischer fired (or at least demoted) from his job as spokesman for the American Family Association. You see, the AFA was paying for some 60 members of the Republican National Committee, including its chairman, Reince Priebus, to take a free trip to Israel, because fundagelicals just love Israel so much, what with it being an essent...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Egad, The RNC Still Has A Religious Bigotry Problem? (Video)

Two very expressive letters
...nal Committee’s plans to take a free trip to Israel, paid for by the American Family Association, home of Bryan Fischer, one of the most prominent wackadoodles in rightwing media. This is sort of a perplexing choice by the RNC, given Fischer’s insistence that the U.S. Constitution applies only to Christians, and immigrants to this country should be forced to convert. The AFA “solved” that problem by firing Fischer from one...
  Teach A Man To Bloviate And He'll Eat For A Lifetime

Bryan Fischer Was Not Fired From Wingnut Central For Saying Any Of The Following

How can we miss you if you won't go away?
When we heard the news last night that Bryan Fischer was fired by the American Patriarchy Association, our first thought was that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer wingnut. Our second thought was that this could be really bad for Yr. Wonkette, as a casual search through the archives shows that Mr. Fischer is a near-endless source of stupid hilarity. And our third thought had something to do with beer, as per usual. Now, as it turns out...
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer

this one might be a problem for the GOP
...7;s a little convoluted, but the really terrific news is right up there in the headline, kids: wingnut preacher Bryan Fischer has been fired from his position as “director of issues analysis” for the American Family Association. Mediaite reports, however, that he will continue to host his radio show for the AFA, so it’s really more of a demotion, we guess. At the root of the mess is an unholy alliance between the AFA — i...
  Notorious RBG Meets Noxious WTF

Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball

Dangerous radicals
The American Patriarchy Association, fronted by spokescreep Bryan Fischer, is calling for Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to recuse themselves from the Supreme Court’s upcoming case on same-sex marriage because they’re entirely too biased on the issue. And who better to opine on this than a man who believes the First Amendment only applies to Christians and that the only laws that are truly Constitutional are those whic...
  It's A Series Of Rubes

Alex Jones Explains How Net Neutrality Is Hitler

Why would anyone doubt this man? trunk, and one said it was like a rope, and another, standing a few feet behind, said it was soft and mushy. Bryan Fischer thought that Net Neutrality was about requiring all ISPs to charge the same rates to all subscribers regardless of whether they have dialup or broadband (not even close). And now, perhaps feeling like others were dropping the ball when it came to stupid crazy mischaracterizations of Net Neutrality, here’s Supreme Pis...
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Lieberals And Your Stupid Fake ‘Global Warming’

My Little Pony: Friendship is Lesbian Horse Propaganda
...ou guys think? Is jaichbin One Of Us, or is his interest in Schock’s possible gayness more of a kind with Bryan Fischer, the fundamentalist who just can’t stop thinking about gays doing it in the butt? Convince us that jaichbin isn’t the latter, and we might just let him join in our reindeer games. From Sammy_95, some thoughts on the great pro-life Patriot Todd Kincannon, who wants to solve the Ebola crisis by killing everyone d...
  poutine on airs

Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore

Even Harvard makes mistakes
...expecting waves of hysterical overreactions from wingnuts everywhere. Sure, there were a few. Gay-panic vector Bryan Fischer worked himself into his usual froth at the idea of the Court legitimizing “sodomy-based marriage.” Genocide Ben Shapiro threw a hilarious temper tantrum in the satin-lined nooks of Dead Breitbart’s Mausoleum for Cocaine-Fueled Rage Monkeys, citing 2003’s Lawrence v. Texas decision as a related case that found “anal penetra...
  Sizzling Sharia

Internet Heroes Defend Vermont’s Bacon From Evil Muslim-Vegan Assault

Meat your maker PC, and eventually the “issue” even got mentioned by the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer, who explained that America is very definitely a Christian nation because our restaurants serve bacon: “You want one single item of proof that America is a Christian nation and not a Jewish nation and not an Islamic nation?” he asked. “One single bit of proof is all you need: we freely allow restaurants and grocery s...
  Here have some news n stuff

Wonder Woman Is Your For Real Based On A True Story Feminist Superhero

Not the REAL Wonder Woman
...d limit wasteful urban sprawl, among many other steps. Oh well. Eternally dimwitted doofus dingleberry derphead Bryan Fischer took a second out of his busy schedule of thinking about gay stuff, but in a totally heterosexual way, of course, wink wink whatever, Bryan, to think about bacon: “You want one single item of proof that America is a Christian nation and not a Jewish nation and not an Islamic nation?” he asked. “One single...
  He Keeps Saying That Word

Rick Santorum And Bryan Fischer Share Sweaty Fantasies About Banning ‘Secularism’ From Schools

The look of love / is in your eyes / The look your smile can't disguise...
Two of America’s greatest professional Oppressed Christians, the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer and Totally Serious Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum, came together Thursdayto bemoan the sorry state of our once great nation, etc. Fischer interviewed Santorum on the AFA’s “Focal Point” internet “radio” show (by telephone, so a critical mass of idiocy was avoided) so Santorum could flog...
  Called On The Carpet

Bryan Fischer Wishes Michelle Obama Would Do Something About All These Husky Lesbians

Bryan Fischer, his finger ever on the pulse of the American zeitgeist (assuming that the American zeitgeist is far up his own ass, which we have no reason to doubt), is not going to make fun of a National Institutes of Health-funded study that’s looking at why lesbians may be prone to obesity. He’s not even going to call it wasteful. No, instead, he’s going to suggest concrete action: He wants Michelle Obama to show that she ca...
  As Ye Have Done It Unto One Of The Least Of These

Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed.

Sorry about that. America's full, you see.
...l vote Democrat, haw-haw-haw. But really, they’re their own lookout. No less an authority than Man of God Bryan Fischer has explained that God instituted borders between nations, and therefore allowing a bunch of Honduran children across ours all willy-nilly would be an offense to the Almighty. Look, just because their families don’t want them to die in a nation with the world’s highest murder rate doesn’t mean we owe them...
  Best oops yet

Rick Perry Indicted, Must Now Resign According to Rick Perry

Dear Jesus, please send a really good defense
...oyote interrupting your morning jog, what needs to be shot? Obviously, there is a compelling alternate theory that this is a partisan Demoncrat witch hunt, led by … Republicans? Okay, scratch that. Here’s a much more likely theory, courtesy of one Very Serious Legal Scholar Bryan Fischer: Yup, that’s probably it. Beware the mad-with-power open lesbians. Who knows which governor they’ll indict next? [Texas Observer]...