Do Not Taunt Happy Gun Troll

Hero Dad Stands Ground Against Daughter’s 3.6 GPA

AK is for Adorable KittySo, just in case you might be worried that there might not be any positive sides to the upswing in gun sales following the Newtown Massacre, here’s the feel-good story of a dad who tried to use the Second Amendment to remedy his kid’s academic problems. St. Paul, Minnesota, dad Kirill Bartashevitch, 51, was charged with two felony counts of “terroristic threats” after aiming his brand-new AK-47 at his daughter and wife during an argument about the 15-year-old’s grades. Some might consider that a bit extreme, but the little slacker was getting two B’s instead of straight A’s.

The arrest came after interference in the Patriot’s family affairs by an agent of Big Government, according to the story in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

The incident came to light at Central High School when a social worker received a report from a parent who said she had been monitoring her son’s electronic communications when she saw a message from the girl.

See, this is what happens when you expand government: nosy “social workers” follow up on perceived threats of violence, reducing the precious freedom of a man to wave a gun at his child to enhance her academic achievement.

Indeed, it was the fear of Big government that prompted the purchase of the AK-47 in the first place:

Bartashevitch had recently purchased the rifle out of fear that such guns soon will be banned, the complaint said.

He admitted to St. Paul police that he had pointed the gun at his wife and daughter but said it wasn’t loaded and he had checked the chamber beforehand.

See? He checked the chamber. That’s some responsible gun ownership right there.

Sadly, the tale of government running roughshod over the rights of the individual gets even worse:

The mother verified her daughter’s account of the incident, but also said that when she tried to protect the girl, her husband pushed her to the floor. Bartashevitch then ordered the girl to her bedroom…

The girl has been taken to a shelter.

So not only is Obama trying to take our guns away, he is also trying to break up our families! This is no doubt another result of his childhood feelings of abandonment, which have led him to believe the government must interfere in every aspect of citizens’ lives, from what they eat to how they raise their lazy, under-achieving, two-B-receiving children.

The NRA issued a statement condemning the arrest of Mr. Bartashevitch and asking why the government isn’t looking at the root causes of such behavior, such as the popularity of that “Tiger Mother” book a couple years back.

[StarTribune.com]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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