We're Gonna Make Him Stay Up All Night

Livebloggenning the Election, Episode 4 More Years: Return Of The Jedi President

Say, did we mention that we really, REALLY like saying “Senator-Elect Elizabeth Warren”? It’s an awfully good phrase, don’t you think?

Here we are at the fourth installment of this marathon, and Virginia, Ohio, and Florida are all still in “godknowswhat” status. See our earlier rundowns: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. And for godssakes, if you’re in Los Angeles, get your butt to the Wonkette Party!

11:15 MSNBC CALLS OHIO AND THE ELECTION FOR OBAMA

Kris. he won HE WON WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO NORMAL !
Kris. OUR LIVES, THEY WILL GO BACK TO WHAT PASSES FOR NORMAL NOW!
Kaia M. ohio for obama on fox!
Kaia M. bile choking all over the place.
Josh F. YES!!!!!
Josh F. OHIO MOTHERFUCKER
Josh F. FUCK YOU FLORIDA YOU CAN SUCK A DICK
Kaia M. wish i could tell if brit hume had a sad face. :(

11:20 Kaia M. fox projecting obama re-election!
Kris. is romney scribblng his concession speech on a napkin right no?
Rich A. Wow
Kaia M. with the graphics and the everything.
Kris. FUCK YEAH. ou know it’s real when fox calls it. sadly.
Rich A. CNN called it for Barry too
Blair B. FINALLY
Rich A. John King is humping is superscreen
Josh F. BTW nate silver has not missed a state yet BTW
Rich A. Twitter will be pretty much useless for about 12 hours

11:25:

What? Wrong guy’s song?

11:26 Josh F. wishes to add that he is 100% pro dick-sucking, and is sorry he used it disparagingly

11:28 Kaia M. BO just tweeted “four more years.”
Josh F. i just got a one-word text from my dad that said “yes”
Kaia M. joke from twitter, nate silver making his acceptance speech in about 20 minutes.

11:36: Donald Trump is being statesmanlike, as usual:
trump takes a conciliatory tone

11:39 MSNBC reports that Romney is not ready to concede Ohio. (Nuance Update: OK, that the Romney Campaign is not yet ready to concede Ohio)

11:45 Hey kids, remember to celebrate safely!

Ain't no party like a Rainbow Dash Party!

11:54 kristina b. What if Romney is like “I’m not coming out! Fuck him. Obama is STUPID the whole thing is STUPID and I’m not coming out and you can’t make me so THERE!”

And Rachel Maddow on MSNBC notes that Karl Rove is now on Fox, asking the network to rescind its projection of Ohio for Obama…in favor of the candidate that Karl Rove bankrolled.

11:57 Josh F. Brian Williams just referred to “the five ohios inside the one ohio” #zen

12:02 Good Morning! Durn it, Jeff Flake won AZ Senate over Richard Carmona

Josh F. Barack Obama just emailed my wife to tell her that he’s about to speak to the crowd in chicago but wanted to thank her first

12:05 Kaia M. repub line seems to be NO MANDATE.

Dok Z. Well of course not. Man dates could lead to gay marriages

12:15 In other races! Same-sex marriage looks like a done deal in MD, leading in ME and WA Wingnut heads to commence essplodin’ shortly. HOW COULD THEY LOSE WHEN THEY ARE SO SINCERE? Also, say goodbye to the American Patriarchy Association’s talking point that “every time it’s gone before the voter’s dhey marriage been defeated.”

12:20: Josh F. Brian Williams just said Donald Trump has “driven well past the last exit to relevance” … then he read all of Trump’s tweets extremely sarcastically and said “So there you have that. That happened.”

12:25 Here is a photo of the Romney HQ from the NY Times:

Romney HQ

12:30 Kaia and Kristina are calling it a night and departing the ChatCave! Kaia’s final note: “Fingers crossed i don’t wake up to hear john kerry actually did win.”

12:35 Rich A:ALLEN WEST IS BEHIND
Rich A. 97.4 percent in
Rich A. murphy is up by 1,004 votes, 50.2 to 49.8
Rich A. i’m sorry all my hopes and dreams are on this race. I hate Allen West to the point that I would rather not get to write about him anymore than have him in charge of shit
Rich A. I think I peed a little

The Excitement Continues! Florida: Alan Grayson Wins his seat back! Illinois: Vile fucktoad Joe Walsh loses to Real American Hero Tammy Duckworth! Minnesota: Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann too close to call!

New Important Post by Rich Abdil on Donald Trump’s Tweesonous Tweats, and coming up NOW, more Liveblogging by Josh Fruhlinger! (Spoiler: Expect a Romney Concession!)

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

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  • glasspusher

    Ohio! Done and Done!

    • viennawoods13

      O! Hi! O!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And done! And FL and VA both look like O+1ish. Was our possibly gay pretend BF Nate Silver maybe a bit conservative in his projections?

        (Nah, spot-on, as usual.)

    • MosesInvests

      AY, OH, WAY TO GO OHIO!

  • glasspusher

    Let me get some concessions for the concession speech! I feel like a new man!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      And the Romney 2016 campaign starts in 5….4….3…..

      • glasspusher

        …and the Elizabeth Warren 2016 campaign begins in 2 years?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        No, I think he's finally done. Thank the lord.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Apparently you never watched the "Terminator" sequels. Every time you think it's over, the son of a bitch crawls out of the ashes…..

          • sullivanst

            Nah, Ahnuld changed sides. Mitt's more Freddie Kruger.

  • glasspusher

    Thanks for the shot of our favorite SILF. You know what they say about the big leagues: The hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

  • noodlesalad

    Over!!!! Obama!!!!!

    And the world collectively breathes a sigh of relief….

    • BadKitty904

      Literally, apparently.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      right?

  • SavageDrummer

    BOOM! Obama is a two-termer!

    • BumbleKid

      I fucking love that guy!

      • Terry

        Me, too. He's smart, strong, and has his heart in the right place.

        Barry, hon, please close the Gitmo detention center. It's a stain on our national soul.

        • IndianaKevin

          … and stop drone warfare and repeal the Patriot Act and …

    • BadKitty904

      EIGHT years of a black, Democratic president. A first in American history.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And Michelle hasn't even declared for 2016 yet!

  • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

    I'VE GOT A RHYME THAT COMES IN A RIDDLE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
    WHAT'S ROUND AT THE ENDS AND HIGH IN THE MIDDLE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

    SING IT:

    O-HI-O!

    • glasspusher

      Yeah-yahh!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      ok fine you called that two hours ago and cheers!

    • snowpointsecret

      HANG ON SLOOPY, SLOOPY HANG ON!

      O-H-I-O!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And you know what's smoky on both ends and High in the middle? Legalized dope is up by 10 points in WA sate. That's without hardly any of the big city votes counted, just teh conservative rural counties.

      Your move, feds.

      Be funny to see Bamz abolish the DEA by executive order, by, oh, say, tomorrow afternoon.

    • tessiee

      Mitt dead in O-hi-o!

  • FlipFlopFuck

    I was born in Ohio…mothafucka.

    • noodlesalad

      Same here – native Buckeye, proud of my state, even if I don't live there any more.

    • glasspusher

      I went to grad school in Ohio!

      • FlipFlopFuck

        BUCKEYES!!1!

    • BoroPrimorac

      My mom's from Akron.

    • C_R_Eature

      I can beat that. I was born in New Jersey.

      • FlipFlopFuck

        The Bayou of Ohio….Cuyahoga.

        • C_R_Eature

          Newark. HA I WIN!!1!

    • viennawoods13

      My g-g-g-g-g grandfather used to tag along on scalping raids into the Ohio valley. Never had a high opinion of the place but hey.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I was born in East Liverpool. I call it the black hole where OH, PA, and WV meet.

    • IndianaKevin

      I can see Ohio from my house (on a map).

    • mille derps

      I've driven through parts of Ohio…

  • Badonkadonkette

    Tant pis, Monseiur Romney.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yes…and eat a big bag of heavily salted, brandy-infused and flame broiled rat dicks too, Romney…teabaggers, faux…every right wing racist fuckhead on the net!

      • NellCote71

        And all you rape-y is OK assholes, too.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Shit. I gave a whoop when McCaskill was declared winner over Akin and everyone at my party was like ??? "Why do you care about a senator from MO?"

          Not a single ONE of them had heard about the 'legitimate rape' bullshit. They were freaking shocked.

          Sheltered lives, out here in our west coastal rainforest paradise.

          • NellCote71

            Luckily, my dog was the only one hear my whoops and curses, a d i gave her an anti-axiety piil.BTW, as a Dordogne cave crawler. any expression of pre-history manifestation of human expression brings me to my knees.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Well, son. That's what I allus say, I say "If I'm about anything at all, I'm all about expression of pre-history manifestation of human expression," or whatever it was you all said.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Mitch McConnell: "Job One will be making sure Barack Obama is only a two-term President."

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Hah…I wonder if someone has informed him yet…wish there was a video of his quavering jowels…it's the only time seeing Yurtle will be worth it. I can't wait to watch cockhead Romney concede, by the way…"I'm still talking, you'll get your chance"…not anymore, BITCH.

      • glasspusher

        Word. I'm seriously thinking of sending him a nice fruit basket.

        • redarmyzombie

          Will there be a postcard with the words: "Suck It"?

          • glasspusher

            I don't know…can a turtle suck?

      • Mittens Howell, III

        Yurtle the butthurtle turtle!

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      Any support for repealing the Twenty-Second Amendment?

    • gullywompr

      Motherfucking win.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      "Kicking me in the nuts is Obama's Waterloo. Ouch. Stop it. Ouch."

      Jim De Mint

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Yes…I guess the big question is, how many more times does Karl Rove have to be discredited before wingnuts realize he's a pile of shit with nothing to offer aside from amoral asshollery? I would have thought 2006 and 2008 would have done it, but maybe Romney losing, Sherrod Brown winning (in spite of the enormous amounts of cash the fat little fucker plopped into defeating him), Alan Grayson winning, Allen West losing and the GOP losing seats in the house and Senate…if this doesn't do it they truly are redtards….

    • Terry

      Mitch McConnell on his best day is a major dickweed.

  • Barbara_

    Time for me to change to iced water for a while or I am going to pass out.
    Obama Takes OHIO!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      We made it, Barb!! What a relief!!

      • Barbara_

        I was thinking of you the second it was announced. My phones started to ring, twitter blew up, text messages started to fly and I had to take a moment and give thanks to Sarah Plain for being a twat waffle on twitter.

    • Terry

      OMG, there are more sane people than wingnuts.

      • Barbara_

        Terry, Trump is going apeshit on Twitter, calling for a "revolution" The only revolution he's aware of is when Jeeves flips his mattress in his very, very, very nice house in every state of the U.S.A.

        • bobbert

          Strangely, I have no memory of Donald Dump remarking on the discrepancy between the popular and electoral vote in 2000.

  • redarmyzombie

    "Kay, if I'm getting this right, then the Electoral Tally tus far is 'Bammerz-275, Willard-205…

    Perhaps too early to call just yet, but Oh Frabjous Day!!

  • MozakiBlocks

    YES WE CAN!!!!!

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      And we did!

    • Terry

      Yes, we can AGAIN

  • Badonkadonkette

    Drudge Sad Trombone

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yes…there won't be any mega sirens for this one. I wonder if anyone would take a moment to go inform Malkin that Romney lost hahaha

  • Barbara_

    Yes, we fucking can!
    President Obama, I REALLY love you.

  • glasspusher

    Bamz went back to Ohio/ and Romney was gone!

    • IndianaKevin

      Romney? Who's that?

      • glasspusher

        You know, I don't have a clue! What was I thinking?

  • ElPinche

    ¸.•´ Congratulations President Obama!!!
    `•.¸ )
    ¸.•)´ *
    (.•´`*4 more for 44!!
    *.*´¨)
    .•´,•*´¨)¸.•*¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨­)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•` * ¸.•´¸.•*´¨­)
    ……~~~~~/…..~~~~~/
    …….~~~~/…….~~~~/
    ……..~~~/………~~~/
    ………~~/………..~~/
    ……….~/………… ~/
    ………..||…………….||
    ………..||…………….||
    ………..||…………….||
    ……./****………../****…..
    *****************************
    eh…the ascii art is all fucked up , but you get the idea. Hells yeah!!!

    • FlipFlopFuck

      (Hugs ElPinche)

      • ElPinche

        Belated gugs back. I was watching Karl Rove shit himself for 3 hours.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Boobies?

    • glasspusher

      Curse you, non fixed width fonts!

    • IndianaKevin

      I see a shopping cart and mosquitoes, but then, I've had a few.

  • BloviateMe

    more alcohol!!!!!!!! and lots of fuckin'

    I love tonight.

    mrs. blov will be walking bow legged.

  • viennawoods13

    I can hear the cheer from across the lake.

    • glasspusher

      Vienna waits for you?

  • comrad_darkness

    WHOA HOT DAMN

    All right people. Time to get rid of the antiquated silly, undemocratic electoral college.

  • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

    Obviously, Ohio was swung by DEVO's song about Seamus the dog.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yes or maybe the story of Super-Hit the horse. My dog made me join "dogs against Romney" by the way…kept growling at me until I did.

  • kakotechnia

    I tried scorn-watching Fox, but it was just too sad.

    • DustyBowlBlues

      I tried for a few minutes, just to see whom and what they were blaming for this loss but then they brought on Dukakis campaign manager, which is a pretty far reach to find a Dem. He was a sad old drag queen with a 2-packs-a-day-for-fifty-years gravel voice. With that as their token Democrat, I had to turn it off.

    • comrad_darkness

      How old is Murdoch anyway? From the looks of him, If he were a dog we'd be planning for that last trip to the vet. With votes, of course.

  • stew1

    WE FUCKIN' WON, BITCHES!!!!!!!!

  • PsycWench

    Let the whining begin!

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      dibs on collecting Limbaughs tears of frustration and failure…if only he'd just keel over tomorrow while he whines….I think after tonight overweight and obese scooter-riding honkey Southern teabaggers are officially over

    • glamourdammerung

      Let the whining begin!

      It started a couple of hours back. Along with the "Republicans lost because they were not derpy enough".

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Can't you just enjoy the now? Be present!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Champagne! Four more years! Phew.

    • Terry

      Thank God. We can't go back to that other shit

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        We seriously dodged a fuckin bullet.

  • Barbara_

    Yes Jeffer, you may turn on Fox News. It seems that Obama won because of "negative advertising." Yes, Romney was so positive.

    • Jeffer

      Back to Comedy Central once Colbert comes on. It's fun watching Turdblossom saying the race isn't over yet. I waiting for him to stroke out.

      • bobbert

        Oh, if only.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    Is FoxNews really complaining about negative advertising and Romney not fighting back?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      On another planet, they are.

  • JohnnyQuick

    I could run a marathon in Ryan time!!! Ohhh did Ryan lose his House Seat??? I would be all kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    "EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE"

    Bravo!

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Wait, something happened today?

  • Redgyal

    Did you say future President Warren?

    • AncienReggie

      I dunno, she's part Indian you know. Hey! Warren/Jindahl 2016!!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I said it! More than once tonight.

    • CindynEncinitas

      I called it 2 weeks ago! Warren/Maddow 2016!

    • Barrelhse

      I got to vote for her today!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Mmmmm…this victory beer tastes so fucking good!

    • Barbara_

      Cheers!

  • BumbleKid

    USA USA USA

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      USA USA USA!

      • bobbert

        Motherfucking USA USA USA!!!

        This is the motherfucking USA!

  • lumpenprole

    Nate Silver wins!
    First time I've watched Fox News in four years!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Oooh, I gotta turn it there for the best schadenfreude to be had anywhere right now!!! brb.\

  • Barbara_

    Yes we fucking CAN!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      It's a BIG, BIG motherfuckin' deal!

  • viennawoods13

    Hey, Mitt… fuck you.

    • Close_Read

      And your creepy sons, too.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        And Ann and the dancing horse she rode on!

  • Yellerdawg

    Repeal that two term rule on day one!

    • Veritas78

      We should start demanding that just to give them all strokes.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Oh m god, you guys have to watch Fox so you can hear them talk about the polls.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Tried faux newz dotcom, but they had given up half an hour ago. Sadly, the star douchebags don't seem to be broadcast on the net.

  • SexySmurf

    Unskew this poll, motherfuckers!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    Ha Ha:

    Christine O'Donnell ‏@ChristineOD Okay, #OH is out. We could still hope for a recount? Remember 2000? Many people went to bed thinking Bush lost.

    • IndianaKevin

      Knowing Bush lost.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Because, uh… He did?
      And then the Supreme's pulled a rabbit out of his ass and it's all down hill from there.

  • kakotechnia

    I just don't know what the hell to make of Tom Brokaw chastising Republicans for not running a properly "postmodern" campaign.

    • docterry6973

      Brokaw needs to go write another book. Someplace quiet and far away.

    • tessiee

      ??
      Should they be wearing black turtlenecks and little ponytails?

  • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

    The only thing I'm still watching for is Florida and Virginia. If they both go Hopey, Nate Silver is 100% accurate, like _The Human Centipede_ movie.

    • bobbert

      Nate is a motherfucking G.

    • mmeetoilenoir

      VA was called for Obama. FL will be next. I'm about to start calling him St. Nate.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    YES!!! WIN!! I could totally blow Nate Silver right now!!!

    • Barbara_

      Get in line. Wait, you go first. I love Nate so much that I don't want to go for the "easy one."

      • BadKitty904

        Dang, woman. *applauds*

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Yeah, the blow job, well he predicted that too. Also

  • viennawoods13

    Holy crap. Real gains number-wise in the Senate.

    • bobbert

      Yeah, that was an unexpected delight. Some Blue Doggies, but still.

  • BloviateMe

    Big question: do we make sweet, slow love to Mitt's concession speech, or violently have our way with it, and not even leave money on the coffee table on our way out?

    FUCK YOU MITT, VERY MUCH.

    • IndianaKevin

      Who?

    • tessiee

      May I suggest that PRESIDENT Obama take out his dick and slap MItt across the face with it, back and forth, back and forth?

    • sullivanst

      Hatefuck, of course. Duh!

  • redarmyzombie

    BREAKING NEWS, EVERYONE!!!

    Dewey Defeats Truman.

    • BloviateMe

      LOL…stop it.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Called it!

  • glamourdammerung

    Look out for those "Second Amendment solutions", gang.

    • Redgyal

      Thanks for the warning Debbie Downer.

  • MozakiBlocks

    When MSNBC called it I screamed so loud that all three dogs started barking.

    Damn, it feels so good!!!

    • Biff

      Many dogs in my decidedly rural 'hood also started barking at that moment. I thought it had something to do with Fraü Blücher.

  • zumpie

    Miss zumpie, jr says her ears hurt from my screaming! And there are some very, very loooooong faces on Faux!!!

  • snowpointsecret

    So basically Obama just wrecked tonight. Absolutely wrecked, it didn't even go to midnight.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    If only Donald Trump had been able to see President Obama's YMCA application none of this would ever have happened.

  • YerMa

    What a beautiful day. Warren, Baldwin, Duckworth, McCaskill, Grayson, Pocan… Who else?

    I'm in tears, guys.

    • BumbleKid

      You're not alone!!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      *clinks glass* Well done!

    • gullywompr

      You're a winnah!

    • CindynEncinitas

      Don't forget the marriage equality and recreational marijuana initiatives that have passed! Not that I *ahem* care but legalizing weed is the most important step toward dismantling the private prison machine that is one of the biggest threats to our freedoms!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Romney crew still not believing the Ohio call.

    Edit: Oooh, only 999 difference in votes. I detect the unseen hand of Herman Cain.

    • Terry

      Romney's folks lack even a passing acquaintance with "facts"

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    I can haz Romney tax returnz now?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Hey Romney, More than 47% of America just told you to kiss their butts!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Yeah!

  • Veritas78

    So how soon can we start confiscating all the guns?

  • Close_Read

    Hey Koch brothers: Suck it.

    And your moneez too.

  • Barbara_

    Fuck you, Trump, Palin, Akin, Walsh, Romney, and all of my fucking idiot family on Facebook!

    • Terry

      Barb, my family will adopt you. No worries.

    • DoktorThompson

      Damn. What an unlucky hand Fate dealt you to be related to Trump, Palin, Akin, Walsh, and Romney.

  • proudgrampa

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Congratulations, Mr, President!!!!!

    BTW, Ms proudgrampa is unpacking her suitcase: we're gonna stay here for at least the next 4 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • snowpointsecret

    A message from Ohio: You're welcome.

    • redarmyzombie

      Dear Ohio,

      Were it within my power to do so at this moment, I would give handjobs to every last one of you.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      THANK YOU!

  • BoroPrimorac

    Rove is stirring shit now. He's saying that Obama hasn't won Ohio yet.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    I feel like I love everyone and everything right about now.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      WEEE LOOOOOVE YOU BAAAACK!!!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Right back at you, Sinrise!

  • neiltheblaze

    Congratulations, my fellow Commies! Well done!

  • Barbara_

    Lol, Rove is calling the win projection "premature." Hop back to the toad farm, Karl.

  • redarmyzombie

    'Kay, this may be a *little* premature, but SUCK IT WILLARD!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Kgprophet

      Let this be a lesson to those like Slick Willard.
      No Show Tax Returns. No President.
      No Job Plan Details. No President.
      No Details about any Plans. No President.

  • sbj1964

    Clean sweep! The good guy wins again.Say good night Mittens!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    I was about to turn to FOX to gloat, but I don't even remember what fucking channel they're on!!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Channel 69!

  • OzoneTom

    Between Husted, and Romney voting machines, who knows?

    I'll feel better when the remaining uncalled states start falling to the non-dark side.

  • Barbara_

    Tweeting to Plain that she is a dip ship is the best!

  • proudgrampa

    And congratulations to Elizabeth Warren: honey, I supported you from the beginning, and you deserve your fantastic win!!!!!! Enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love,

    proudgrampa

  • DustyBowlBlues

    A message from the USA to the rest of the world: you're welcome.

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      You'd wish NZ had seats in the electoral college. We had polls here and they were going 94-6 to Hopey.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        I so want to live in NZ.

    • Terry

      Now Canada has to make some changes to benefit the world.

  • Trannysurprise

    I want to ride Nate Silver's manhood right now.

  • GortRay

    Suck it teabaggers! Suck it all night long!

  • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

    Hmmm. If Rmoney wins the popular vote, wingnuts calling for Electoral College abolition in 3… 2… 1…

    Seriously, this is the dead end of the Southern Strategy. There's only so many 80% majorities you can pile up in Buttfuck, Oklahoma, and similar places, because you also need to win in states where it's not 1953 anymore.

    • bobbert

      Wingers will NEVER call for Electoral College abolition, because we'd take them up on it in a fucking nanosecond. The EC totally favors the less-populated (i.e., wingnut-heavy) states. Even if Rmoney won this popular vote (which he won't — there are still a lot of votes to count in California), we'd take that as a temporary setback.

      • 415buzzard

        Also Oregon, Washington.

  • Biff

    I wish I knew what radio station limpballs is on so I could listen to him spank America for being stupid, unlike himself?

    No, I don't really want to listen to him, at all.

    • redarmyzombie

      No amount of afterglow can overcome that….

  • coolhandnuke

    This is good news for the WORLD!

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    I just asked mrs. deanbooth if she had any hidden celebration donuts, and she brought out the secret party reeses cups!

    • LePiston

      My husband surprised me with Twix, and don't those types of things just make you love perfect spouses even more?

    • Terry

      You wild man!

    • bobbert

      That is stupid sweet.

  • Barbara_

    Not awesome Facebook rant:
    We will only survive this second term by the grace of GOD. The destroyer of America has been re-elected. What a nation of sheep we are being lead to slaughter. If someone could give me one positive item to be taken from tonight, I would be happy to listen. My only comfort is this is part of GODs plan. This nation has drifted to far from almighty GOD.
    ———————————–
    Fuck you, you hateful dweeb.

    • T3rbo

      haha. you need to troll that shit-tell them how obama has a secret plan to force marines to gay marry

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      unfriend!

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      But why are you reading Sarah Palin's FB page?

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Evidently god lurves him some Obamz

    • Terry

      Sour grapes.

      Yes, this God's Plan and its opposite of what those folks who say they know God's mind. Funny that.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Wasn't it God who sent the hurricane to derail the momentum of Mittens, Lord High Hairgel? Sword cuts both ways, bitches!

    • BoroPrimorac

      God hates the fuck out of you.

    • bobbert

      There's gonna be a shit-ton of that. All I can say is, this election indicates that there is a slim majority of sane persons in the US, and we have to try to build from that,

  • glamourdammerung

    Republicans losing those easy Senate pickups and the White House?

    You all built that. Legitimately.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Me-Gyn Kelly is doing some fancy pageant walking.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      lol. She can see an Ohio recount from her house!

  • glasspusher

    Romney is not conceding, yet. Sure, drag it out, crybabies!

    • Terry

      When you think your presidency is predestined by God, it rather difficult to concede

      • glasspusher

        Let him get his own planet and try again…

    • CindynEncinitas

      Rich people aren't very good at being told that they can't get what they want. Boo fucking hoo, bee-otch!

  • Barbara_

    Happy Birthday to Stephen Colbert's lovely mother, Lorna. She's 92-years-old tonight.

    • glasspusher

      Wow. Seconded!

    • Yellerdawg

      What I love is that we are all watching the same stuff like the old days when there were only three networks.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When it comes to news, there are still only three.

  • BumbleKid

    I fucking love this country.

    Assholes try to steal our votes? We vote MORE! Corporations spend millions trying to make us vote against our own interests? We say fuck you!

    Seriously guys, I'm tearing up. I fucking love America.

    • Yellerdawg

      And THAT is what the other side will never understand, is that we can fundamentally disagree with them and STILL fucking love America. Bless you.

  • Wadisay

    When are the Romneys going to be brought out on their sedan chairs?

    • CindynEncinitas

      They have to dig the bearers out of their huts when they're finished with their gruel.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    This can't be right… according to Steve Forbes, *Romney* is supposed to win. DID THAT FUCKING FORBES LIE TO US?!? FUCKING RICH BASTARDS!!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    In honor of America I'm having a victory Newcastle Brown Ale!

    • CindynEncinitas

      Begging your pardon, but Stone Mint Chocolate Imperial Stout and Ruination IPA with habanero was how I celebrated. Beer Week in San Diego, dontcha know. An embarrassment of riches tonight!

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        yum!

      • bobbert

        Arrogant Bastard, here.

    • yyyaz

      Cali bubbly and Oregon ale here. (brrrraaaaappppp) 'Scuse me.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Also yum!

  • IceCreamEmpress

    People in my neighborhood are setting off firecrackers right now. Feels good, man.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      OMG THOSE are the riots I heard about if Bamz loses………….or wins……….or
      ……….have another beer………..

  • VodkaGoGo

    Fox: But, but we're still a center-right nation, right? And the fiscal cliff!! What about the fiscal cliff?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Fox News is havin' none of it. If Romney keeps watching this, he's bound to show up in the Oval Office tomorrow, reporting for duty.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Fox's nerds just called Ohio for Obama.

    • glasspusher

      What next, Rush?

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    the livefeed on Mittens website is ABC news, and its showing the Obama hq in celebration.

    Deliciousssssssssssssssssssssss

  • sudsmckenzie

    Its Nate Silvers World and we just live in it.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    CNN has a feed from the Miffed Money HQ… that's a whiter crowd than even the Bruins usually get.

  • redarmyzombie

    Ha-Ha!

    Suck it, Brooks! Suck my big fat throbbing cock!

  • Wadisay

    Denial is a river running through Fox News.

  • BadKitty904

    Death Star explodes! Ewoks dancing!

    • viennawoods13

      Please with the original music. Yub yub!

  • OzoneTom

    This is good new for Mittens' mental health.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    2008 win – Malia (and Sasha) got a puppy.

    2012 win – Does this mean that Malia gets to have her prom in the Rose Garden?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      No, but she gets a pony.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    The FOX idiots right now — "The administration has suppressed the military vote." Yeah, that would've thrown the election to Romney. They've also run a few minutes with "Romney won the popular vote." Al Gore feels your pain, sweeties.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Nate Silver just took out his cock and put it where Joe Scarborough's mustache will start growing as of tomorrow.

  • Redgyal

    So glad Bronco Bama stopped getting his hair permed. The natural look is in style now.

  • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

    LOL@Trumpy. Where were you in 2000, Mr Popular Vote Should Decide It? And isn't it the Repuggies who are always saying, no, we're NOT a democracy, we're a Republic?!?

    But on the other hand, let's wait to see all California's votes come in before we decide who won the popular vote.

    • redarmyzombie

      *snerk*

  • Biff

    rMoney isn't conceding Ohio!!!!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I'm shocked, I say, shocked.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Well, not that shocked.

        • glasspusher

          I'm feeling all tingly…

    • tessiee

      What a sniveling little prick.

      • viennawoods13

        Word.

  • gullywompr

    Romney refuses to concede Ohio!

    • mille derps

      I paid good money for that state! I'm not giving up on our voter machine hijinx strategy yet!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    THIS is a President I can get behind~

    • C_R_Eature

      That's the best political advertizing I've seen this campaign.

      No wonder Barry won!

  • Disassembly
    • BumbleKid

      It ain't pretty over there.

      Not pretty at all.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Post deleted now

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    NBC: Romney campaign NOT conceding Ohio…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I hear that Sarah Palin might finally get to give that concession speech she had ready in 2008.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      She said she'd SELL it to Rmoney, but she ain't giving it away for free.

      • glasspusher

        I would do pay per view to hear Palin's concession speech. I'd want a DVD, but the money would have to go to a charity, like planned parenthood…

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I'd be happy to join you.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I hope Barry and Michele finish their quickie soon, so he can come out and give his speech.

    • docterry6973

      Barry won't claim victory until Romney concedes and Romney won't concede. I believe that we will see just how small a man Mitt Romney really is.

  • Barbara_

    Lady Gaga's Tweet speaks for me:
    Lady Gaga ‏@ladygaga
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURBHJB EORWPSOJWPJORGWOIRGWSGODEWPGOHEPW09GJEDPOKSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0924QU8T63095JRGHWPE09UJ0PWHRGW

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Yes.

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      That's the title of her next single, right?

  • Yellerdawg

    They threw everything they had. Four years of hate, obstruction, professional grade false outrage, and it was all for nothing. Fuck those fuckers. They have nothing more to offer.

  • Mittaplasia

    Poor Mittens; always a bridesmaid; never a bride.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Does he finally get it that everybody doesn't like him?

  • LePiston

    Mitt, I am so anxiously awaiting your concession speech. Can't wait!

    xo,

    LePiston

  • Terry

    Romney campaign "not prepared to concede to President Obama".

    Mitt needs to sack up and behave honorably

    • DustyBowlBlues

      A privileged prep school bully like MIttens can't even spell honorably, let alone start pretending he can do either tonight, of all nights.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, that'd certainly be a change…

  • docterry6973

    Did we send the UN troops into Lubbock yet? Times a wastin'.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I'm calling for drones over the Arizona state house.

      • glasspusher

        Call the strike in on your Obamaphone! Power to the 47%!

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Awwwwww… poor little rich Romney. Someone give him an Etch-A-Sketch to play with.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He had his victory speech all scrawled out on it, and then the mean black man came and shook it up.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    I expect Romney to give a victory speech and have his staff walk it back tomorrow.

    • mille derps

      This!

  • BoroPrimorac

    Rove's having a hard time conceding Ohio. This is some epic shit.

    • glasspusher

      Savor…savor…

  • Barbara_

    Mitt won't concede. Color me STUNNED.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Ann is hissing and baring her fangs at anyone who goes near the Concession Phone!!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Shoulda gone with Huntsman.. SADFACE.

  • Biff

    Andrew Sullivan is all verklempt on Colbert now…

  • snowpointsecret

    Romney hasn't looked at Cuyahoga County lately, has he?

    • Terry

      He's probably scared to go there

      • snowpointsecret

        That, along with Franklin, and Montgomery, and Lucas…

  • zedbot

    Bow chicka bow wow…..

  • VodkaGoGo

    Peggington Noonington is a completely broken soul right now. Holy shit she was crying.

    • redarmyzombie

      Is it wrong that her tears make me smile?

      • VodkaGoGo

        No, I thoroughly enjoyed it too. I'm also the kind of person that thinks its funny that she is balding.

    • BadKitty904

      Is she melting?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      What channel is she on??

      • VodkaGoGo

        She was on Fox, but I dont think Fox News. Is Shep Smith doing the Fox coverage? I don't have cable so I'm not sure if it's different. Check your local Fox affiliate. Shep is actually pretty hilarious and condescending to his super sad panel.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    David Gregory, still being stupid: But how can he govern after the past four years?

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Uh oh, Krauthammer is up to his old hijinks again! #NotAHappyCamper #ProllyNeverBeenAHappyCamper

  • BadKitty904

    In 1965, my great-grandmother, a little, old Southern lady, was arrested in Atlanta for supporting the civil rights and the equality of ALL Americans.

    Forty-seven years later, I have had the privilege of helping RE-ELECT the first black president in American history. Despite our many problems, I still think this is a pretty special country… :0)

    "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Wonderfully said.

    • Terry

      Put some flowers on her grave site, Kitty, and a little flag

      • BadKitty904

        She rests with others of my family, in our plot. We take good care that she's looked after and not forgotten.

        "She, being dead, yet speaks"

    • Yellerdawg

      We owe much to your grandmother and all those with courage.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Beautiful.

    • yyyaz

      I'll add only that we have taken another step toward that day when we are all judged only by the content of our character.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      As Doc Zoom has discovered in his Sunday school studies, the fundies aren't at all happy about that "pursuit of happiness" business. In the dark and moldy corners of their souls, they really hate Thomas Jefferson.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    !!!

  • AlterNewt

    Andrew Sullivan is telling Steven Colbert that he wants to lick his 'tears of unfathomable sadness".

    • docterry6973

      Uh…whut??

  • BoroPrimorac

    Look at fucking Krauthammer. He's saying that Obama doesn't have a mandate and that he should govern like Clinton. Fuck off, you horrible cunt.

    • Biff

      Stand up and take a bow, Krauthammer!

      • BoroPrimorac

        I hope he stands up and throws himself off a cliff, the fucking piece of shit.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      fuck you krauthammer YOU LOSE.

    • docterry6973

      Can you believe these asses? You didn't beat us by enough so you have to give us what we want. FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU RIGHT-WING BASTARDS.

      Barry will be all gracious and even-tempered, cool as always. I wouldn't, which I guess is why I am here and he is there.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      That is exactly what the CNN republicans are saying

  • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

    Crap, I have to go to football practice soon so I might miss Mitten's concession speech, which I predict will run: "ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMPUTE DOES NOT COMP…" *puff of smoke* *explosion*

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Romney's team REFUSING to concede Ohio.

    They have a crack team working on re-baptizing the election in Romney's favor.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Has Glenn Beck announced how he plans to commit suicide? And waiting for the Apocalypse doesn't count.

  • Barbara_

    Donald Trump is calling for a "revolution in this country." Jeeves, lay out something nice for me to wear as I watch you go revolt for me.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Bring it on, Donny. Bring it on. Asshole doesn't realize there's exactly one doorman between him and everybody on the street.

  • SexySmurf

    Warshington update: Gay marriage up by 3, weed up by 11!

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Oh thank god. I always make the mistake of looking at results right away when only the yahoo counties with 3 voters in them have reported.

  • Goonemeritus

    Should we really be spiking the ball now, souldn't we be sensitve to the feeling we might hurt over at Breitbart's Blog?

    • Barbara_

      Breitbart is dead, a shark ate Bin Laden's dick, and Palin is watching her Pay Pal account in the hopes of her followers sending their last nickels. It's over.

  • Biff

    THE RE-HOPENING!

  • kakotechnia

    All right Barry. I'll chill the fuck out from now on.

  • HELisforHEL

    Tonight, all dogs are as ecstatic as we are. Woooooooo!!!1!1!1!1

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    What is happening? Concede!

  • Biff

    BroncoBama winz Nevaduh! My vote counted!

  • poorgradstudent

    My conservative pal (not the far-right Catholic I always talk about!) posted to his blog a picture of Nobammers with the caption "America did not get the President it needed, but it got the President it deserved." So four more years of conservatives whining about getting a moderate Republican as President!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      true fact. and their grandchildren will never look back.

  • ChuckieJesus

    Per my one cool Republican friend, Romney's still got the pop vote by 200K right now. I expressed nuance by saying that I still thought the electoral college was pretty damn bogus anyway, win or lose.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Someone outside is democrabeeping!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Charles Krauthamer, the evil little gnome of Conserviatism, is pouting on FOX News. Romney was a New England liberal, and that is not what the GOP is about. We had a very weak field, but a very strong bench.

    Yeah, got to love your strong bench that sat out against the Kenyan/Muslim usurper. Better luck against Hillary in '16.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Mike Pence will run for president on the GOP ticket in 2016. Even I know more about republican back benchers than Charles Krauthammer.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Ricky iz ready! SHITSTAIN16!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Virginia just turned blue…"Romney Landslide" my balls!

  • poorgradstudent

    Also, don't ya'll forget about the gay marriage ballots!

    • BadKitty904

      True. I pay my taxes, like other Americans, I obey the law, like other Americans, and I'd kinda like to enjoy the same rights as other Americans, too.

      • poorgradstudent

        Huffington Post has got the results on one handy page: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/06/gay-marr

        The pro-gay marriage crowd is winning in all states except Minnesota, which sucks, but, hey, three more states I can get married in after I finish my degree ain't bad.

        By the way, we should do something to get together all the Wonkette queers, online at least.

        • BadKitty904

          Oooo, yes! The Gayening! Or the Fag Moot. Or whatever we'd call it.

  • sbj1964

    Make the call Mittens it's over.Go home,and play with your car elevator.

  • Steverino247

    Obama ahead in Florida, Virginia and Colorado, so even if Mitt is able to pick up and shake Ohio, he still loses.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Trump should mind himself or he's going to end up in an uncomfortable situation.

    • docterry6973

      He could lose his TV show and Lawrence O'Donnell has claimed that Trump needs that cash income really badly.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Trump going bust would fatally schaden my freude.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE MITTENS FUCKING CONCEDE!

  • Wadisay

    Please permit me to use this medium to send a personal message to Mitch McConnell: Suck a bag of rat dicks, turtle-face.

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh! Oh, I loooooove the sound of Conservative Butthurt!

  • ChickTract_Fil_A

    Now what do we do? All the crazy is gone. It all seems kinda like the final scene from The Truman Show. Do we disband Wonkette now?

  • fartknocker

    Hey Mitt, it's called math and you haven't got the votes. Taking your pony and car elevator and go home. Be sure to amend your tax return so you can get that added $2.2 million back that you withheld so you could look like a credible candidate.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Huffpo map shows VA and FLA both in baby blue now. If he takes both, that would make 332, with Romney getting Alaska for a total of 206. What number = landslide?

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      Was it a landslide in 2008 when he had all those plus NC and IN?

      • Terry

        Yes

  • ProgressiveInga

    Drunkle Karl is not convinced!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    It's official..
    al jazeera called it for Bamz.

    • C_R_Eature

      Were they tabulating the Kenyan votes?

      • Blueb4sinrise

        shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    • docterry6973

      Muslim news service. Coincidence? I think not.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is my favorite comment of the night. can i copy/paste?

    • Yellerdawg

      Certainly! I'm flattered.

  • LIT_Fag

    Thank you all for collectively and figuratively holding me through this scary night! Y'all complete me

  • cousinitt

    Greetings from the blue skies and snowy peaks* of Colorado!

    *well, they should be snowy by now but what, with climate change and all–let's not forget we need to focus now on what really matters and never again let our guard down.

    • OzoneTom

      Enjoy your recreational dope!

      • cousinitt

        Oh Duuuude, you have no, cough, wheeze, uh, idea man. Que up my old John Denver 45–singing, "Rocky Mountiain high, Colorado…"

    • Biff

      What, no snow-making? Mammoth in CA opens this weekend…

  • Mittaplasia

    Waitin' for the concession speech, they're stubbornly prolonging the inevitable. He's probably in full "black knight" mode already.

    Arm chopped off (with votes), blood gushing out. "It's just a scratch"….gets other arm and both legs hacked off…."come back you coward; I'll bite yer' ankles off"..

    It's a great evening in OUR COUNTRY tonight…Cheers!

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      And when the Electoral College is actually sitting, with more than 300 Democrats in it, Mittens will be outside saying to Hopey: "Tell you what, let's call it a draw."

  • sbj1964

    Obama 290 EV's so far this was a slaughter!

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Really turned out much better than I was afraid it was going to be.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Hey Mitch McConnell? What's that noise? You hear it?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      the crunch of salted rat dicks?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    AP just called I-502 passes in Washington. Marijuana now will be decriminalized by public vote in the State of Washington.

    Take that, bitches.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      How a bout marriage?

  • RaflcaFlkaFlame

    Oh GOD pass me the tissue! Also, NATE SILVER CALL ME.

  • Biff

    Caveat emptor, mittens. Also, Sheldon Adelson. You both got what you paid for, right?

  • Steverino247

    Is the Donald calling for the violent overthrow of the government of the United States? I think he is…

    "Thank you for calling the Federal Bureau of Investigation…"

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Fuck that, send in the Predators.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    OMG! I wanted to watch the collective wrist-slitting over on Fox Kinda-News, but bile started leaking from my TV screen so I had to switch to the Science Channel real fast. Doze peeple iz maaaaaaaaad.

  • mbobier

    WHEW!!!

  • ProgressiveInga

    Marriage Equality passes in Maryland! My son lives there and called me last week to say he was proud to have 2 Moms and get to vote for equality. What planet am I on again???

    • VeraSevera

      Planet Faerie! Enjoy!

    • C_R_Eature

      It was my vote that put it over.

      Nah, it wasn't that close:

      FOR: 52%
      AGAINST: 48%

  • Terry

    Alex Castellanos can kiss my pink behind

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Paul Ryan still has a job. Nerts.

    • Biff

      What about ol' one L?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Still too close.

        • Biff

          Fuckin' killing me. And that piece of shit Stephen King won his race. But at least no more Joe Walsh and Scott Brown.

    • Terry

      For now. Janesville is sitting in the middle of a blue county

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Yeah but I don't regret donating to Rob Zerban, we'll get him next time.

    • VeraSevera

      He has to quite so he doesn't make a bunch of bad votes that disqualify him from running on 2016.

  • arihaya

    The biggest loser is Ann Romney, you know what: She has been rooting to be FLOTUS that she spent the last year wearing dresses by Oscar de la Renta (who made dresses for Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush and Laura Bush.)

    And now she has to weep and weep for the rest of her life.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Ha Ha, Karl Rove just had his "bombing at the Apollo moment" on FOX, … if there was only some sort of German phrase for this.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    nate silver for pres in 2020.

    • gullywompr

      Where is that guy? I wanna sex him right NOW!

  • Negropolis

    OT: Looks like homophobic mayor of Troy, Michigan, Janice Daniels, is on her way to be recalled.

    • ProgressiveInga

      She was stone-cold choked…with votes!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Money well spent, Kock Bros. & Grover.

  • Wadisay

    The Lizard People aren't conceding.

  • Fairtackle

    Joe Wals got his ass kicked by Tammy Duckworth's mechanical legs.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I must say, this is so much more fun than following the posts on the KKK's Stormfront web site like I did four years ago. More hilariously witty remarks and far fewer racism-fueled death threats!

  • mille derps

    Gay marriage passes in Maine…

    • Terry

      It's passing in Maryland, too, as is the Dream Act!

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Bazinga!

      • Barbara_

        It saddens me that we have to ponder and argue the rights for a same sex couple to do everything that we opposite sex couples do so flippantly in regards to marriage and equality.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          So long as there are relgious nuts out there, we're gonna have to waste time and engergy slapping them down. It's annoying as hell, but they never learn and never shut the fuck up, because religion.

  • sbj1964

    OK, this election cycle is over my guess is we will start seeing Hillary 2016 ads by tomorrow.

    • LIT_Fag

      And Romney 2016 signs too!

  • DixvilleCrotch

    Where can I get a poster of dreamy 70's Prince-bama for my wall?

  • jesus_vs_gojira

    Gay marriage in WA is up 52-48!

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Equality Rulz!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Networks Project Second Term for Obama"
    —NYT Website Headline
    Way to be brave, Gray Lady.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I've been following the NYT site, and it's almost comical how slow they are to call states for either candidate. NBC is painting the map on the ice at Rock Center, and the NYT is still going "Ummm, maybe, but we're not entirely sure that it's matematically certain…"

  • BoroPrimorac

    Bamz wins by promising to raise taxes. I fucking love it.

  • OzoneTom

    Tester ahead in MT.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Do you all think Mitt is drunk right now?

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Don't know about Mitt but I am.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        RIght there with you, Brother. In spirits.

    • yyyaz

      Punch-drunk, maybe. I hope.

    • C_R_Eature

      He's stoned out on Ibogane. It's a real problem.

  • VeraSevera

    Fox: Obama needs to be Clinton II: reach out to the middle. Shrink that deficit with dot-com boom-dom.. But wait…didn't that get him an impeachment trial? Note to Prez: don't take advice from Fox. But DO give Old Bill a bear hug for us all. No cigar.

  • Jeffer

    Just in case you were wondering. Every Major Media Outlet has called the race for Obama: http://elections.nytimes.com/2012/results/preside

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    I really love saying "Craven loser Scott Brown".

  • Not_Mother

    Hahahaha@realDonaldTrump: This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy! Megyn Kelly suggests having Karl Rove "duke it out" with the decision desk. CNN JOHN King first to say "civil war" coming. Romney still sore loser motherfucker.

  • Veritas78

    The NYTimes just gave VA to Obama, hitting 270. FL and NV heading that way, too.

    OH, however, is showing as pink.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      That's been all fucked up, basically for the entire time that it mattered, and still. They blew it on their coverage. Musta spent all the money on Nate Silver's platinum-plated calculator.

  • VeraSevera

    Ok. Why does Fox love Bill Clinton so much. I'm really confused.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      He's the white one.

  • ChuckieJesus

    CO and WA just leeeegalized it!

    *does little dance*

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I hope Obuzzkill lightens up and gets a national trend going now.

  • CindynEncinitas

    All that's left is seeing Egg's clenched jaw and tortured smile as she rides Rafalca into the sunset.
    Thank you Nate Silver! Thank you Actor212! You kept me sane today until I was able to imbibe.
    Hey Mittens! We're in yer base pwning yer noobs, motherfucker!

  • prommie

    I wanna see some motherfucking crow eating eating, when is the motherfucking crow-eating? I wanna see that predacious lizard fuckwad eat some fucking crow, godddamn it, I want to see some crow eating, dammit. And I love Fakakta!

    • Barbara_

      I love crow! I am thinking about having crow for Thanksgiving. We all love Fakakta!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Careful, Proms, you're about to jump the couch on Oprah!

      • prommie

        Yeah but I am a heterosexual.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    If Romney doesn't concede, and shows up for work tomorrow at the Oval Office, they're going to have to build him a special Oval Office Replica out back where he can roam around and boss people and stay out of trouble. Because convincing him he lost will short out all those expensive circuits in his cranial server module.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      It was the strawberries. Yes. Yes. They were jealous of the strawberries.

  • sbj1964

    The Conservatards over at Conservative Victory banned me for telling them to eat CROW!Looks like another 4 years for them so sulk in their little dens of hate.Don't forget the Mint sauce guys McCain choked on every bite! I'm sending Mittens his recipe.

  • VodkaGoGo

    Shep SmIth is actually kind of awesome. In as diplomatic a way as possible he keeps suggesting to his panel "do you think maybe the Republican party may have fucked this up the last four years, maybe just a little?"

  • BoroPrimorac

    Center right my nuts.

  • proudgrampa

    You know, I am not a cruel person, but nothing would please me more than to see Ann "Let them eat cake" Romney crying her eyes out as Mitt concedes.

    Life is good.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Holding a doll with a matching outfit?

    • BoroPrimorac

      I'm TIVOing that shit.

    • stew1

      "I hate you women!"

    • tessiee

      Just watched it, and Hatchet Puss did NOT look happy.

  • yyyaz

    How do I spell relief? V-I-C-T-O-R-Y. Hoo-effing-ray!!!!!

  • Mittaplasia

    Still no concession speech, eh, Mittens? Hmmm, mebbe build a really large badger?

    • miss_grundy

      He should keel over and die, the rat bastard.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Well, I can safely stagger off to bed. We won, guys. WE WON!!!

    Good night, everyone.

    • Terry

      Gonna be some hours of whining by the GOP. I heading to bed and going to have happy dreams!

    • BadKitty904

      Sweet dreams!

    • comrad_darkness

      Good night, john boy.

  • vulpes82

    Okay, some of my long-lost love of Chuck Todd has returned as I watch him basically kick Romeny and his campaign in the nuts with his MATHS.

  • vulpes82

    Wow, Hickenlooper has a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad haircut/toupee.

  • Fairtackle

    WOOT, CO for Bama!

  • BadKitty904

    Ha! My bf just reminded me that this morning, before he went to vote, he told me that "the Blessed Virgin Most Pure will watch over the President today."

    So. ¡Viva la Virgen de Regla!

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      Nice work, Mary.

    • BumbleKid

      Congratuations BadKitty! Haha are you calmer now?

      • BadKitty904

        Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch better, thank you…though toasty and tired.

        If this is what presidential election campaigns are like, I think I'm taking up lace-making…

    • miss_grundy

      Y La Caridad del Cobre!!!!

  • AlterNewt

    FoxNews.com Headline:

    FOUR MORE YEARS

    Ahhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Eat it!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Truly. Suck a dead one, Fox.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Oh, no! Michele Bachman is neck and neck with Jim Graves! http://origin-elections-mtc-a.evip.aol.com/2012/r

    • GhostBuggy

      Marcus, meanwhile, is unsure where he stands with Graves, but would like to take a wide stance to be safe.

  • Veritas78

    So electing a ni-CLANG wasn't a fluke, I guess.

  • VeraSevera

    Oh gawd that bitch Brian Williams is talking about how shocking it is to come from the East Coast and smell MAR-I-G-UANA in whacky places like Boulder, where it's SOoooo easy to "obtain," TO the governor of Colorado. Who is all, ha-ha you old joker Brian. Yes, that's true but ah shawks.

    Brian Williams and Paul Ryan in a spanking scene. I'm sorry, I've been drinking.

    • VodkaGoGo

      We all have, we all have.

    • Fairtackle

      Brian Williams is stuffing his face with cheetos whenever the camera pans away.

      • GhostBuggy

        Shorter Brian Williams: "I am so baked right now."

    • sullivanst

      Brian Williams lies. He's a big fan of The Boss, and I tell ya, even on the East Coast, you can't go to a Bruce concert and not get a contact high.

      Plus also too, MA voted for medical weed by a huge margin.

  • synykyl

    Hey Donald, you want to put your money where your mouth is? Nate Silver says when the West Coast votes are all counted Obama is likely to move ahead in the popular vote too. Yeah, eventually Nate will be wrong about something, but I'm betting with him on this, not with you ;-)

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Yeah, but it would still be kind of sweet if President Obama won the Electoral vote with over 300 votes and lost the popular vote. You'd probably see a whole bunch of wingnuts demanding the immediate replacement of the Electoral college with a national popular vote.

  • Jerri

    God damn it, I want to see Egg sqirm in a tacky dress.

    • synykyl

      Not me. I'd rather see Katy Perry in the Obama ballot dress again ;-)

  • Barbara_

    Time for Romney to wake up and smell the decaf coffee. Concede now or you will just look more like a dick head when you have to concede.

    • miss_grundy

      You mean he hasn't looked like a dickhead, or a twit all along. I bet the official of the London Olympics are having a good laugh at his expense.

  • Wadisay

    Notwithstanding tonight's events, I bet Mitt Romney still spends January 20, 2013, signing something to repeal Obamacare.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So…, when does impeachment begin?

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Right after Romney concedes, in July.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    How the fuck could a Republican pick fights with two CEOs of major corporations? The news on NPR was that Chrysler had given their employees a paid day off to go vote, and an executive VP (Design) tweets to the Rmoney acolyte, who was spreading the lie in his own, inimitable style, "Donald Trump is full of shit."

    How?

  • Wadisay

    Romney still not conceding Ohio. Romney transition team, get your asses back to work!

    • redarmyzombie

      He will claim retroactive victory.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    6:00 in the morning here in Germany and I thought I'd just take a peek at CNN. John King was busy choking on a turd burger the sized of Iowa, which I thought might be a good omen. When Blitzer came around to give him a Heimlich (at least I think that's what he was doing), I knew it was over.

    Well done you libs!

    • VodkaGoGo

      What's German for schadenfreude anyway?

      • thatsitfortheother1

        I commonly use the phrase "auf gefucked."

  • glamourdammerung

    Romney really needs to make his concession speech soon (assuming he does not cower out). I really want to count how many times he brings up Huey Lewis and the News.

  • AtwatersGhost

    Nazi Punks, Nazi Punks, Nazi Punks—Fuck off! Barry Rules!

  • DustyBowlBlues

    Current says there is a good chance that One-L Crazy Eyes may be losing. If so, I hope Chris Matthews remembers to send her a sympathy card.

  • glasspusher

    Brian willams just said Donald Trump "Has driven well past the last exit to relevance"

    hahahahahah

  • vulpes82

    "Donald Trump, who has long veered passed the exit to relevance…" SAAAAAHNAP, Brian Williams.

    • glasspusher

      Oh my fucking FSM! That quote made our night here. I bet the neighbors heard us laugh.

  • Fairtackle

    "NO MANDATE"

    Well, it's no "Bush" mandate …

    • vulpes82

      And it's bull, because he probably will win, narrowly, the popular vote, after all the California and other votes in states called for O are counted.

    • sullivanst

      Elections have consequences, muthafuckahs!

  • sullivanst

    Fucking call Nevada and Florida for Bamz already, and shut up the whiney losers.

    Really can't understand why Florida isn't called yet. Barry has an OK lead, and big numbers still to come in.

    • vulpes82

      It's Florida. NO ONE wants to call Florida after 2000 early.

      • glasspusher

        …and only Dade left to finish counting. Even my friend still in FL can't believe it! Sweet, sweet revenge!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Tammy Baldwin, first female senator from the state of Wisconsin. First openly gay U.S. Senator. And I can't say how proud I am to say I voted for her today.

    • finallyhappy

      my daughter worked for her congressional campaign some years ago- so yea, we helped!

  • OzoneTom

    With CO and NV in the Obama column is it safe to go to bed?

  • BumbleKid

    Brian Williams on Donald Trump: "That happened"

  • Not_Mother

    My freudes are so schadening!

  • C_R_Eature

    Tammy Baldwin is giving her victory speech and that is something I really didn't expect to see even though I chipped in for her.The crowd is on fire with joy.
    This night has been just awesome.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Glad to see Bamz made good use of my $350 this year.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Thanks for giving to Tammy! Consider my vote for her bought!

  • stew1

    Bama wins and Colorado pro-ganja! Good night, I'd say.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    So if they call Colorado, can we force Romney to come out?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Someone just told Donald Trump about the Electoral College–and is he ever PISSED.

    • sullivanst

      Yeah, also failed to inform him there's a lot of people in California.

      He said the world was laughing at us. No, Donald, they're just laughing at you, you loser.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      His people looked into it, and he can't believe what they found.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    economist bloggers are saying michele ma belle is still too close to call.

    true?

  • stew1

    Mitts won't concede. Is being snuck out of the country by Mormon missionaries.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Gadsden Purchase Arizona holding on…rest of the state is fucked.

  • sbj1964

    The Billionaires lose,the American people win! A good day for the middle class.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    oh! and tammy baldwin is icing on the cake.

    i say that in the most – syrupy – of ways

    • sullivanst

      Pics or GTFO.

  • VeraSevera

    Fox. Everything I believe about the universe and gawd has been turned upside down. Not so much.

  • Barbara_

    So many people on Facebook plan to leave to live in another country. These are the same dick weeds who posted a few weeks ago that they had a used lawnmower for sale and they would meet up at the Krystal's and asked for "cash only." Good luck with that!

    • redarmyzombie

      So in other words: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

    • docterry6973

      Where on earth could they find a country that would suit them? They going to Canada for some socialized medicene? To Europe? Are there any banana republics left in South America where they could live as the reckless soldiers of fortune that they imagine themselves to be?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The USA is their last refuge on this planet, which is why they're so fucking rabid. They know they're cornered, with no place to go, and they really think it's going to come down to Mad Max scenes at their compounds in the desert. Watch as ammo sales soar off the charts.

    • sullivanst

      Tell 'em not to let the door hit 'em in the ass on the way out. Or if it does, that's fine too.

      Thinning out the crazy vote would do us good.

  • Barrelhse

    Medical Boo passed in MA, 63-37.
    BoNg HiTS 4 Jesus!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Finally some cracks in that wall. 50 years late.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Okay, so Chuck Todd just endeared himself to me with his joke about the "voices in my head, and I'm not Donald Trump" and then kinda subtlely going off about "that individual." I truly look forward to laughing in these asshole's faces over the sanctity of the popular vote. God allmighty concede already Mitt, I'm TIRED and I want TEARS.

    • Barrelhse

      I kinda wish the Santorum "family" could be on stage, too. Just for the laughs, I mean.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Mitt's Last Revenge.

  • smellyal8tr

    NBC should just go ahead and cancel The Celebrity Apprentice and take Trump off their air.

    • docterry6973

      I think that we should ask serious questions about why a prominent public figure who advocates violent revolution is given his own TV show.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Seeing him demoted to AM radio would be so sweet.

  • finallyhappy

    the Dream Act and Marriage Equality pass in Maryland and we now have all Democratic Congress people(Bartlett that dumb old fart got dumped). and I hear someone got re-elected to the White House- and now I can't sleep!!!

    • C_R_Eature

      Well, not exactly. There's still Harris (R-Club for Growth), re-elected handily in the 1st district because that asshole Wendy Rosen was caught voting in both Florida and Maryland and resigned too late to bet her name removed from the ballot, leaving John LaFerla, who lost narrowly in the primaries, as one of the write-in candidates.

      The re-drawn 1st is even more deeply red than the original 1st, also. The upshot is that I have to live with this awful corporate tool for two more years at the very least.

      But, the rest of the night went better than I expected!

  • VeraSevera

    Fox. A pox on all their houses. Yikes. Populism? But not even unemployment (he's black!) could defeat him. What is wrong with the world.

  • glasspusher

    If I were bamz, I would give my acceptance speech to an empty chair…

    • gullywompr

      Ha!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Oh, that is fucking perfect my friend!

      • glasspusher

        thanks. every once in a while a funny one slips out. I think I was inspired by Brian Williams' crack on Trump.

  • deliman4

    Quiet,the sounds you hear are millions of cons heads exploding!! This election was for Carter,Mondale,Dukakis Kerry,and all the crap both Clinton and Obama took during their three terms!!

  • Not_Mother

    Washington State and Colorado voters legalize marijuana … And the sadistic and racist war on drugs slowly unravels…

  • Barbara_

    It's being reported now that Romney didn't pen a concession speech, just a victory speech. People voted for a man this ill prepared?

    • Jerri

      Oh that just shows he has a confident positive outlook! Real leaders don't need a plan. B.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It's probably there with his tax returns…

      Hey, I guess he can file an amended return now and get back the "excess" taxes he paid last year! Silver lining and all.

    • bobbert

      Maybe he'll set a modern record and just never concede. It would fit in with his inability to stay on any position for more than five minutes. "I won, I lost, I won, I lost, waaa"

  • Jerri

    Ryan had to do some rage-induced P90-X tapes. That's why it's taking so long. Also the Romneys have to have the attention on them because they're so fancy and classy.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    Current says that it appears One-L Krazy Eyes may be losing. If she does, I hope Chris Matthews remembers to send her a sympathy card.

    • coolhandnuke

      She is up 100 votes with 60% counted.

  • finallyhappy

    They keep saying McCain is coming out- will he give the speech he gave 4 years ago instead of Mittens??

    • Blueb4sinrise

      I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      oh…….wait.

    • BadKitty904

      Please do not use the words "McCain" and "coming out" in the same sentence. I'm afraid my head might explode.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    And crazy Alan Grayson is back! Yippee! what about Alan West? Adam West? Dickhead Black West.

  • BoroPrimorac

    We won all the states that flipped Teabagger in 2010. We kicked the shit out of the GOP among women. We kicked their ass with Latinos.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      On to 2014– let's take back the House!

      • thatsitfortheother1

        FUCK YEA!

        Something to look forward to.

  • VeraSevera

    Fox. Enemas all around.

    • BadKitty904

      Oh, I think they're pretty much been administered…

      • sullivanst

        With votes.

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    Maine Maryland yes, Washington looks good, any word on Minnesota?

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Jolly good show, chaps.

    HAHAHA SUCK IT MITTENS! Ahem. Also, that "nate silver was wrong" site the freepers were crowing about seems to be down. Most odd.

    What a heartwarming morning here in limeyland. Again: top work, American chums.

    • C_R_Eature

      Welcome back Fukui! You still owe me the position of Maritime Pub Inspector and don't you forget it.

    • Steverino247

      You're welcome, although I could find a lot of better ways to spend the contributions I had to make because Mittens wouldn't release his tax returns.

    • bobbert

      Fukui!!! You're back on Knifecrime Island?

  • barto

    Trump.
    Sad.
    On so, so many levels.

    Ah well, a good night for progressives! Thank you Wonkette, for leading the charge!

  • VeraSevera

    Submission call. Submission call.

    Ooops. I mean concession call.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Fox: Obama ran the most negative campaign.

    They have Karl Rove in the fucking studio.

    • bobbert

      Hey. Obama ran a pretty negative campaign. And he beat the fuck out of your negative campaign, Karl, so fuck off and die.

  • 415buzzard

    OH MY gosh watching Fox tonight is just too sweet.

    LOVE YOU BARRY!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Holy shitballs! Is Allen West going to lose??? http://elections.huffingtonpost.com/2012/results/

    • cheetojeebus

      woot woot!

    • coolhandnuke

      Murphy is up by 900+ plus votes with 97% counted.

    • Steverino247

      Even though I live in CA, I had to give Murphy 50 bucks. West was a shit stain on the history and Officer Corps of the United States Army and I hope his departure leads to cleaning that up.

  • VeraSevera

    if you're hispanic I hope you don't mind if I give you a hug tomorrow.

    • Steverino247

      Fuck it, cop a feel while you're at it.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      According to Lou Dobbs I may have Leprosy

  • VodkaGoGo

    I bet Romney is having an EPIC tantrum right now and that's why he's not conceded yet. Like in an old spy movie when the super villian realizes he's losing and he spazzes out and beats the shit out of his right hand man. He's probably shaving his campaign managers head right now.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Is this the scene where Bamz blows the doors open, and voters invade Mitt's secret underground headquarters and everything starts blowing up?

  • thatsitfortheother1

    I might be a little slow to concede too, given Gore in 2000. But at some point, if you are conceding to a sitting president, integrity would have you get off your ass and get it over.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Romney's trying to find out how much to charge for a concession speech.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Still bringing it this late.
      +10

  • vulpes82

    What's taking Nevada so long? Did they get lost in the desert?

    • Biff

      We're in! Also looking good for Shelly Berkeley vs Dean Heller, Steve Horsford (against a Tarkanian, even!) , and Dina Titus!

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Gonna be some loooooong faces on Kolob today.

  • docterry6973

    They really, truly believed that they had it in the bag. But why should we be surprised? It has been obvious for years that the far right has simply disengaged from the real world of fact and data, and substituted their own little hermetically-sealed world. So fuck 'em sideways.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      With votes.

      Or chainsaws.

  • glasspusher

    Miami/Dade is done counting for the night, they will continue tomorrow. This is romney's hail mary chance!

  • viennawoods13

    And Obama just pulled ahead in the popular vote. Suck it, Donald.

  • tessiee

    Once I was able to stop crying, I ran out in my front yard and yelled, "YEAH!!! YEAH!!! WE DID IT! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND, Y'ALL! WOOOO!!"

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Did I miss something? Something's up tonight?

  • Biff

    ROMBLEY CONCEDES!

    • glasspusher

      where? it's all local here now!
      Yes, 1255 eastern, NBC is saying!

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        CNN just said that Romney is expected to come out. It;s going to be a long walk though because the stick up his ass makes it tough to walk

        • glasspusher

          He's gay?

          • thatsitfortheother1

            If so, he would have at least some redeeming quality.

  • gullywompr

    Can you imagine the conference call that's going on right now with Mitt, Rove, Sheldon Adelson and David Koch? Maybe there's some more ad time in Ohio they can buy…

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Hubby: "What difference does Ohio make now? Ohio is now known as Super Ohio and it is worth 100 votes"

  • tessiee

    As of right now, PRESIDENT Obama has 303 electoral votes to Mitt's 203.
    The only way that could be better is if he held Mitt down and cut off that greasy, dyed floor mop on his head.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      The Brits call that a bog brush.

  • VeraSevera

    Fox. Maybe we don't need the high colonic. Just a little douche should do.

  • Callyson

    YES!!!

  • Biff

    I've been out in the garage listening to more returns, filing the rakes down on my rusty chainsaw, and also sharpening my machete. Just in case.

    • glasspusher

      always good to have a plan B…canned goods?

      • VeraSevera

        Save the chainsaw fpr '16

        • glasspusher

          Warren/other hot dem '16!

      • Biff

        MRE's. And guns.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      San José de Puerto Rico?

  • AlterNewt

    You know what? I still want to see his tax returns.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      No shit. He's probably working on an amended return for last year as we speak.

  • cousinitt

    Mittney speaks. America moves on.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Romney has called Obama and conceded. Which voice did he use? "Patronizing" or "Snide"?

  • AlterNewt

    The call has been made.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Gays can get married and marijuana is legal in Washington! I did it! I won the election!

  • Doktor Zoom
  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Oh man, Josh Romeny is going to be full of hate stares

  • C_R_Eature

    Romney's spoken to The President and will concede the race. Re: CSPAN.

  • Mittaplasia

    Here we go! Bow to your Muslin overlord, Mittens!

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Oh, this is going to be SWEET

    • glasspusher

      There you are!

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        Couldn't miss today!

        • glasspusher

          Good to see you. I'm packing it in, early morning tomorrow. Let's do Jupiter sometime soon.

    • sullivanst

      He's only smirking a little bit. YAY!

  • Not_Mother

    1/8 of the romney crowd claps for the success of the country. sore fucking losers.

  • glasspusher

    Classy speech so far

  • Close_Read

    It took them all evening to program this speech into the Mittbot.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Beyond my wildest dreams. Teabagging is a sex act again.

  • tessiee

    Oh, for fuck's sake.
    "Paul Ryan blah blah best choice I ever blah blah intellect blah".
    Pee sniffer.

  • tessiee

    So, no Mormon theocracy, then?

  • glasspusher

    The more he talks, the worse this speech is getting…wrap it up, but he is trying to take the high road. Not bad. Don't let Ryan speak

    • thatsitfortheother1

      What happened to Ryan's seat?

  • glasspusher

    wrap it up before your heckling sore losers bring you down

  • glasspusher

    So, Dems win 5 out of the last 6 popular votes for prez?

  • tessiee

    Haw, look at the expressions on Egg's and Ryan's faces!
    I think somebody's ass hurts.

  • Mittaplasia

    Jeez, do these people ever quit breeding, cast of thousands in Mitt's family!

  • tessiee

    So who is that blond boy?
    Is he the mailman's son, or what?

  • sbj1964

    And the ass Clown leaves the stage.

    • viennawoods13

      Good times, good times.

  • tessiee

    Thank God; now I can finally watch the "Let's wipe 'em out!" scene from "Blazing Saddles" again, without crying.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    So, um,

    Bammaz is back – four more years, baby
    Elizabeth Warren wins
    Tammy Duckworth wins
    Akin and Mourdock both lose
    Nate Silver proven right
    Allen West losing
    Miche1e Bachmann in very tight race
    Senate majority retained

    Is it fair to say that tonight was a good night?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      We are on the verge of creating the society we dreamed of in the 1960s. Real individual liberty. What a night.

  • sbj1964

    I hope Barry breaks into a chorus of "I'm so in Love with you."

  • sbj1964

    News Flash Florida count not in yet.Surprised?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Speaking of ass clowns.

  • leprechaunvict

    Just have to say, as a months-and-months-long creeper-but-not-commenter from ye olde Canada, who has watched (for years) your country with fascination, affection, and horror, that the above hilarious fucking album cover made me finally want to comment here and say cheers. And Christ on crutches are we ever relieved by the outcome of your election! Peace out :^) … really, when I get up tomorrow I'm sharing that image hahahahahaaaaa it's priceless…

  • mustangsavvy

    THANK YOU, JESUS!!!!!

    Also – Donald Trump is a complete moron. Someone should sit him down and explain his overwhelming douchebaggery to him. It's painful. Also – hilarious.

    FOUR MORE YEARS!!!!! And now I will fall into a deep and peaceful sleep =)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Final take-home message for Koch, Trump, Adelson, and all those other rich pricks:
    The 99% have 99% of the votes.

  • ttommyunger

    I really wasn't worried for myself, but I was terribly concerned for my Country, especially considering the fact that the Idiot Child Bush was elected twice, sort of.