RON PAUL REVOLUTION OR SOMETHING  3:36 pm September 24, 2012

Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector

by Kris E. Benson

romney, right before his screen saver went onGood news, everyone! Romney/Ryan have no specific plans to ruin the housing sector at this point, which is probably a good thing, given that Mitt Romney has been pretty clear about his interest in ruining education and Paul Ryan has a very specific plan to ruin Medicare and Medicaid. So let’s just all respectfully disagree with Business Insider, which thinks it’s a Bad Thing that the campaign’s white paper on housing policy is basically just a collection of vague platitudes about “too big to fail” and “common sense reform” and blah blah etc, with one little part about how much EASIER it will be for banks to foreclose on you.

For example: here is a paragraph from their white paper, which is called “Securing the American Dream and the Future of Housing Policy”, taken from the aforementioned Business Insider article lamenting its lack of specificity:

End “Too-Big-To-Fail” And Reform Fannie Mae And Freddie Mac: The Romney-Ryan plan will completely end “too-big-to-fail” by reforming the GSEs. The four years since taxpayers took over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, spending $140 billion in the process, is too long to wait for reform. Rather than just talk about reform, a Romney-Ryan Administration will protect taxpayers from additional risk in the future by reforming Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and provide a long-term, sustainable solution for the future of housing finance reform in our country.

Note: GSE’s are “Government Sponsored Enterprises.” Meaning, they are privately held corporations with a specific public policy objective, like, for example, Fannie Mae (created in 1938) and Freddie Mac (created in 1970). After the housing crash in 2008, the federal government bailed them out and took them over, and if this is still confusing, the schoolmarms over at NPR’s Planet Money have a nice little explainer that you can check out here.

But ANYWAY, what will Romney/Ryan do for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? They will “reform them.” How? We don’t know. What else will they do?

Other than that, in the paper, Romney talks about “responsibly” selling 200,000 government-owned homes, getting rid of Dodd Frank, improving the job market, and making foreclosures easier.

Oh ok, to whom will they sell these foreclosed homes? Not sure, don’t worry about it. They will also improve the job market! How? Eh, details, details! But anyway, this is the plan, guys. Reform stuff! Create jobs! Fix things! Less regulation! Also, something about Certainty in the market. Business Insider thinks this lack of specificity is a problem but we are actually thrilled — it means that Romney/Ryan either isn’t super invested in ruining the housing sector, or hasn’t yet figured out how to ruin it.

[Business Insider]

 
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{ 129 comments }

nounverb911 September 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I read on the internet that Mitt is required to buy mansions in all 57 states.

mavenmaven September 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm

He'll sell all the foreclosed homes to the Chinese!

TheGyrus September 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have jack-all to do with "too big to fail", also.

CrunchyKnee September 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm

"There has to be a way we can ship these pesky houses over to China for pennies on the dollar?"

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

At this point I kind of wish Wells Fargo would mistakenly foreclose on my house. As long as they didn't kill my dog and cat. According to an amortization table, if I keep paying my mortgage my balance will match my current home value in about 12 years.

Sophist[Kochblocker] September 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

If he told us, it would ruin the surprise.

…and his campaign.

fuflans September 24, 2012 at 4:31 pm

and then he would have to kill us.

sewollef September 24, 2012 at 5:05 pm

You mean his campaign isn't ruined already…?

johnnyzhivago September 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

The only thing about "housing" that Romney has given any thought too are his dreams of moving into the White House.

docterry6973 September 24, 2012 at 6:48 pm

then knocking it down and building one twice as large, with a car elevator.

anniegetyerfun September 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Rather than just talk about reform, a Romney-Ryan Administration will protect taxpayers from additional risk in the future by reforming Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and provide a long-term, sustainable solution for the future of housing finance reform in our country.

Weird, because they're TALKING about rolling back the minimal reforms that got pushed through. And not talking that much about it, even.

Texan_Bulldog September 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm

"….make foreclosure easier"? Is that really something they want to advertise they want to do? Geniuses!

CleverSobriquet September 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm

The Grapes of Wrath is just communist propaganda anyway

An Asexual Ungulate September 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Because it's so hard now…? Foreclosure is a state issue anyway. The only way they could make it "easier" is by repealing all sorts of federal debt collector laws.

Brilliant.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 12:14 am

Mitt said something to the extent that the housing crisis should "just work itself out." So, yeah, this is pretty much his stated policy. At best, this thing is working like it should, in his eyes, and at its worse, it's not working nearly fast enough.

hagajim September 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm

He's already said what he would do….let everyone go broke, and let the banks take their homes….that pretty much sums it up.

johnnyzhivago September 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Kill two birds with one stone: Every home in America needs to install a coal powered car elevator.

sewollef September 24, 2012 at 5:06 pm

…. lubricated with puppy tears of course….

smashedinhat September 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm

That photo just made me puke. For real.

KeepFnThatChicken September 24, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Do the so-called GSE's include JPMorgan, Bank of America and Citigroup?

kittensdontlie September 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Romney/Ryan want to take us back to the future, when credit default swaps were all the rage..and when Dodd/Frank was just a twinkle in Barney Frank's eye.

Jus_Wonderin September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Kinda looks like he is reacting from shooting himself in the foot. You'd think he'd be used to that by now.

Schmannnity September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Mitt should stick his finger in an electric socket more. That's a good look for him

zumpie September 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Hee! I was just thinking his bedhead would easily erase any gains the housing market has made.

Radiotherapy September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

When they lose their houses we can just send them to Emergency Rooms.

Limeylizzie September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Is Lady Ann utilizing the bejewelled strap-on in that picture?

Callyson September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Jesus, are there any policy details Mittens *is* willing to disclose?

PsycWench September 24, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Hard to disclose what you don't actually know.

anniegetyerfun September 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm

It's probably easier not to specify what policies you want to implement, since you'll just have to hold the opposite stance a week later, you know?

UW8316154 September 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Mittens didn't ask you a question, Callyson! STFU!!

Peasant.

docterry6973 September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I suspect the plan involves unskewing the housing market.

Mittens Howell, III September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Romney, to the foreclosed: "There's always cardboard boxes."

johnnyzhivago September 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Nonsense! There's always hotels!

Rosie_Scenario September 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Just borrow the money from your parents. It worked for Mitt and Ann!

Lot_49 September 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

And for all you 47-percenters who expect food along with your medical care and housing, there's room service! Just dial 8 and ask for a tasty New York steak medium rare.

Honestly, the things you have to explain to the Poors make it almost seem like it's their own fault.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 12:16 am

Marriotts, even!

MosesInvests September 24, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Looxury!

CthuNHu September 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

"We grew up in a wadded-up tissue in the middle lane of the interstate!"

"Ah, a tissue! We went to sleep at night dreaming of having a tissue!"

Pap Finn September 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I don't want to be rude, but I'm starting to think that Republicans might not be very good at governing things.

anniegetyerfun September 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm

It's really strange, but do you think maybe they lack empathy? I feel like maybe they lack empathy.

AlterNewt September 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Maybe they're just a little colicky.

Pap Finn September 25, 2012 at 1:00 am

Well, now that you mention it…I've noticed from time to time that they *do* seem to come up a little short in that department.

Goonemeritus September 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

We wouldn’t need Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac if everyone just went to their dads and borrowed a few hundred thousand.

kissawookiee September 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Far be it from me to bodysnark on anyone, but are those scars under his browline? Like from an eyelid lift? Good on him for creating jobs for blepharoplasty techs, I suppose.

Chet Kincaid_ September 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Blepharoplasty is condemned by the Scriptures!!!1

montreal_bruin September 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Isn't that where they enter for a lobotomy? Just sayin.'
'

Mittens Howell, III September 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I'll give him this, Romney totally kicks ass at Monopoly.

Nostrildamus September 24, 2012 at 6:45 pm

A Bored Walk to the presidency.

memzilla September 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Romney talks about “responsibly” selling 200,000 government-owned homes…

"Bain Capital Mortgage Division, this is Mr. Potter, how can I assist you?"

RedneckMuslin September 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Right. Once you get kicked out of your house you don't have to worry about foreclosure anymore. Problem solved.

MonkeyMotion September 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Once Romney/Ryan finish the total decimation of the economy (financial, education, environmental, energy, infrastructure, etc.) begun by Bush/Cheney, the housing sector will simply collapse on its own!

Gotta admire the simplicity.

johnnyzhivago September 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Romney housing plan: With some ideas from Home and Garden you can do a lot with a shack.

kittensdontlie September 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

We should so very much be sweating their details.

coolhandnuke September 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Income and education are way too taxing on me. Fuck it, i'm going back to bed and count lottery numbers and sleep the new American dream.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Another picture of Romney not asking questions.

KeepFnThatChicken September 24, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Or "being asked" questions

KeepFnThatChicken September 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Romney: Post-coital-interface. Should be going into sleep mode soon.

Oblios_Cap September 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Why would anybody think that a party whose platform is that "all government is bad" would have such difficulty actually, you know, governing?

johnnyzhivago September 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Instead of government dependence, just have your parents buy you a house.

noodlesalad September 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Homes? Car elevators for some, horse barns for others. Problem solved. Next!

SexySmurf September 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Mittens secret plan to fix the housing sector involves bombing Cambodia.

RedneckMuslin September 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I think that microphone Mitts holding is not grounded.

ph7 September 24, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That's the only buzz Mitt's religion permits; he's not letting go any time soon.

CthuNHu September 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I think the shabby John Kerry knockoff holding the microphone is not grounded.

MissTaken September 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Platitude Platypus says "Vote Romney!"

Monsieur_Grumpe September 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

With all the bad things we have said about Mittens you must admit that he does a pretty good job on his nose hairs.

kittensdontlie September 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Trimming nose hair, could be his true calling.

calliecallie September 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Really the best possible use of his talents, I think.

kittensdontlie September 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Even little Bushy had his brush-clearing business to fall back on.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 24, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Plucking those bastards is quite painful. The man has discipline.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 12:20 am

He has Koreans for that.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 25, 2012 at 10:45 am

Sadly, I suspect you’re probably correct.

Hammiepants September 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

After making foreclosures even easier, Mittens next moves are: 1. Make all old people into soap, 2. Blahs and Messicans self-deported, unless they want to stay here with the white poors to serve their corporate overlords, 3. Eliminate that fat fuck Santa Claus.

MissTaken September 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

It does!

SorosBot September 24, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Now I has a confuse!

MissTaken September 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Ruh roh.

SexySmurf September 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

1. Get rid of the Blah guy.
2. ?????
3. Profit!!!

ph7 September 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

1. Mitt buys all houses.
2. Americans pay rent to Mitt.
3. Ann decorates the common areas.
4. Free apple cider and square dancing on weekends.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

Mittens Howell, III September 24, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Romney: "Bring out your bankrupt, bring out your bankrupt!"

Serf: "I'm not bankrupt yet."

Romney: "Oh don't be such a baby, get in the cart."

zumpie September 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

And lower your eyes and genuflect, peasant!

Serolf_Divad September 24, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Guys, stop racking your brains. Here's Romney's plan for everything:

Kick the ball down the field and hope something happens.

The End.

ManchuCandidate September 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

But he'll end up like Charlie Brown, Lucy will yank the ball away and fall on his ass.

FNMA September 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I didn't know Andy Reid was one of his campaign advisers.

SorosBot September 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

So that's why Romney called Time Out less than five minutes into the first quarter of the campaign.

nounverb911 September 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Just like the Ravens did to the Patriots last night.

zumpie September 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

That would honestly be too much action for Ol' Mitty. I think his plan is cross his fingers and hope for the best.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Awww you beat me to a nose hair joke.

Blueb4sinrise September 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Needz moar robo-signing.
It's the burdensome big government bureaucracy that is stifling the foreclosure industry.

Wadisay September 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Are there no workhouses?

Incitefully_Joe September 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Also, something about Certainty in the market. Business Insider thinks this lack of specificity is a problem

They will help alleviate the Uncertainty in the market, through processes, and initiatives, and they'll tell you what after the election. I can see how this would be confidence-inspring!

GeorgiaBurning September 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

How will Mitt mess up housing? He doesn't have to tell you. He has people for that. Move along.

PsycWench September 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

The plan takes into consideration the affordability and mobility of large cardboard boxes.

BartStarrland September 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

So his Education and Housing policies can be combined as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

One_Man_Band September 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Well, I guess I'll just keep renting this same apartment while secretly laughing at everybody who bought a house in the past decade…

Mittens Howell, III September 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Todays Conservative pundit talking point:

"If only Ryan would get out there more and act like a total fucking douche-bag, then maybe voters would forget what a total fucking douche-bag Romney is."

zumpie September 24, 2012 at 5:28 pm

You watched SE Cupp be an (even bigger than usual) idiot on The Cycle today, too???

Mittens Howell, III September 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

That's the one.

zumpie September 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Though that wasn't as stupid as when she blathered about how maybe picking Handsome joe was a mistake on Barry's part. Ummm, yeah, that would be Vice President Handsome Joe, to you, missy. Hard to guage mistakes on the winner, dumbass!

deanbooth September 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Release the tax returns hounds!

SorosBot September 24, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Before he can reform the housing market, shouldn't Mitt reform his failing flailing campaign?

SorosBot September 24, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Yeah, they need to make foreclosures easier; it's not like foreclosing is way too easy right now, so that banks are foreclosing on houses that they don't even own the mortgage on, some of which weren't even mortgaged period, or anything.

Lot_49 September 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

"I won't tell you what I'm going to do if I'm elected" = "I'm willing to bet you hate the Kenyan usurper more than you find me distasteful yet still recognize me as a rightful member of your ruling class/liege lord/big moneybags."

How can such a subtle and carefully-thought-out strategy possibly fail?

YouBetcha September 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

This is their idea of being getting more specific?
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! HA! Ha. Heh.
They should go back to fraud and disenfranchisement, it'll improve their odds.

randcoolcatdaddy September 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Today, we are all vague platitudes.

mbobier September 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Cue the Underpants Gnomes song!

Caelan Aegana September 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Jeebus. That photo scared me so much that I had a laughing fit, and now my cube-neighbors think I am possessed.

DahBoner September 24, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Only Romney will bring "certainty" to America's Financial Markets!

Remember how much "certainty" Bush brought to the NASDAQ back in 2000 when it became "certain" that Bush would bag the Republican nomination?

DIVE DIVE DIVE

mrblifil September 24, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Are there no whorehouses?

Cleopatriot September 24, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Won't they just send the foreclosed homes to India, the way they do the foreclosed jobs?

dennis1943 September 24, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Finally……a picture that captures his…..essence……

fuflans September 24, 2012 at 4:42 pm

derp.

mr bojangles September 24, 2012 at 4:47 pm

they ll pick you up and take you to the ER, problem solved!

valgal2342 September 24, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Mitt's make-up is cracking.

Chichikovovich September 24, 2012 at 4:53 pm

a Romney-Ryan Administration will … provide a long-term, sustainable solution for the future of housing finance reform in our country.

We should take Romney-Ryan at their word – it would be uncharitable to suggest they are just stringing buzzwords together.

So it turns out – as they plainly state in the above sentence – they are not concerned with the future of housing finance, they are concerned with the future of housing finance reform.

So if a Romney-Ryan administration takes the reigns, we can be sure that efforts of housing reform may never end in our lifetimes!

I never imagined they would have the courage to state it flat-out like that.

Incitefully_Joe September 24, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Right, but they have some really great ideas for reforming the way that we reform housing finance reform.

On an unrelated matter, I stumbled, over the course of my Internet research* upon the claim that humans are physically incapable of sensing the fourth derivitive of motion.

*for pornography

Chichikovovich September 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm

In my pedagogical research I've encountered astonishingly many humans who are incapable of understanding the first derivative.

Of a function of a real variable.

A constant function.

fuflans September 24, 2012 at 4:55 pm

i don't think this guy would be a very good president.

but maybe that's just me.

GregComlish September 24, 2012 at 4:57 pm

As a business man, I can assure that Mitt's vague and empty promises do a great deal to ease my concerns about uncertainty. God, if there's one thing businesses have no way of dealing with, it's risk and uncertainty.

docterry6973 September 24, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Absolutely. After hanging on by our fingernails since 2008 I would hate to be faced with risk and uncertainty. Whatever would we do.?

Chet Kincaid_ September 24, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Warren Beatty in "Bullshitworth"

Thurman Munster IV September 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Mitt's a pretty big guy, right? He's not too big to fail though.

chascates September 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Obviously he'll ruin the housing sector by purchasing a multimillion-dollar house in every state of the Union, causing real estate sector stats to be skewed to show an economic recovery.

anniegetyerfun September 24, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I work in Marketing now, and this is how we describe products that we know are going to suck. "Instead of just doing X, our product does more than X. We can't wait to show you how."

TootsStansbury September 24, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Great Brightfart's Ghost! That photo should come with a warning for anyone attempting to access this site from something other than a phone!

ElPinche September 24, 2012 at 8:27 pm

What a honkey.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 12:26 am

Honkies are people, too, my friend.

Negropolis September 24, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Kris, the vagueness is not a bug, it's a feature. I don't know how you could interpret the vagueness as a good thing coming from Republicans. I know that you are not that naive.

BTW, this spin off Freddie and Fannie hysteria is par for the course. Whatever they may have done wrong, it's simply a perfect excuse for them to attack yet another publically owned-and-or-operated institution. Go reform BofA and Wells Fargo and the rest of them you fuckers.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 12:20 am

Where will we all sleep when our infrastructure is so rotten that the freeway overpasses all collapse?

We had to destroy the housing market to save the housing market.

ttommyunger September 25, 2012 at 11:04 am

……says the man born of wealthy white parents who makes 13 Million a year, yet doesn't even have a fucking job.

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