the idjits

Arizona Cop Not Sure What Big Deal Is Over His Bullet-Riddled Obama Photo

This is what education cuts look like.

What had we gone, a whole week or so without a news story about a public official cracking jokes online about murdering Barack Obama? That’s kind of a long time! Don’t “worry,” however, Mexico still does not want Arizona back, so we will never go too long without one of these kinds of things while a black guy is president: the Secret Service is investigating Sgt. Pat Shearer, a Peoria, Arizona police officer, after he posted a Facebook picture of a group of assault rifle-wielding teenagers holding up a bullet-riddled t-shirt with Barack Obama’s face on it during one of their Future Gas Station Attendants of America meetings. Shearer has taken the photo down, but come on, he just wants to know, what is everyone’s problem? Since when did everyone start taking assassination so seriously?

Shearer wouldn’t talk to the New York Times. He talked to Fox News, though, huh!

“I don’t think that the shooting of that T-shirt is that big of a deal,” he told the station. “It was more of a political statement … It’s not like they were going to go out and shoot the president.”

And now let’s check in with the Fox News commenters at the bottom of the story, just for Phriday Phuntimes, to see the innovative ways that they are testing the boundaries of the English language with surrealist variations on spelling and syntax.

Multiple-personality disorder victim tomgladden is going to defeat Barack Obama by voting against him “often” this fall:

liberal why do you twell the world your ignorant. progressives are a cancer in america, were your liberal badge in shame for what your kind did to this country and dont respond just know i will be at the voting booth november 6 and vote often against your moron in the whitehouse

Oh look, apparently “black” is a swear in Moron!

User bobbyg60:

Ya, we have seen how well electing a bl@ck is working out…….at least Newt is an American.

And our favorite randomly selected murderous idiot, who struggled bravely with the commenter registration form only to somehow turn up the username “decmocratsrcommunits”:

let’s see; the military and tens of millions of armed American men,women and youth allayed against obama and his army of welfare crackheads, entitlement slugs, union thugs and drug -addled feces-encrusted occupiers; wonder where the Las Vegas odds makers are on that one…


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  1. memzilla

    "Knock Knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Secret Service."

    "Secret Service who?"

    "We'll ask the questions here, buddy. Open the fucking door."

    1. OneDollarJuana

      You know, G. Gordon Liddy bragged about using pictures of the Clintons for target practice way back when on his radio show, and the SS never broke his door down. Don't expect much out of O.

  2. DahBoner

    Ask Bill Maher what happens when you say "Conservatives Want to Kill People They Disagree With"…

    1. Generation[redacted]

      First they came for the drug-addled and feces-encrusted and I said nothing, for I just needed to run down to the store real quick to buy toilet paper and cheetos.

    1. tessiee

      "Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain" — Friedrich von Schiller (German dramatist)

    1. rickmaci

      WTH? Out here in California were call them condos, in New York they are lofts. Never heard of communits.

  3. Hera Sent Me

    "just know i will be at the voting booth november 6 and vote often against your moron"

    Seems that for Republicans, voter fraud begins at home.

        1. Generation[redacted]

          History? I thought this was geography class! No wonder U.S. Americans don't have maps, such as.

    1. CZL

      It's not fraud when white people do it. Then it's their patriotic duty to make sure bl@cks and musl1ms cannot be preznit.

      1. user-of-owls

        Six months, friend. Six months.I've been thinking of you all day, and that always, always give me strength. Sending you a big hug, little brother.

        1. not that Dewey

          Right back at you. That's a huge milestone. I raise a graham cracker, a thermodynamics textbook, and a glass of ginger ale, to our mutual success. L'Chaim! To Life!

          My newest little cousin celebrated his six months today, too. (Check out that expression on his face. Not that much different from our own.)

          1. user-of-owls

            Yes, to life indeed! And now I find I have a familiar in your wee cousin…we share a 'birthday.'! Pinch his little nose for me when you see him again. I'm giving the 100-seat Intro class their first 'point opportunity' tomorrow. Here's what's at the top…and what nicely encapsulates where I, where we, are:

            Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. –Dr. Seuss

          1. user-of-owls

            And it's radiating back to you, dear thing. I'm keeping my talons crossed for you. Beauty will out.

  4. BigDumbRedDog

    "welfare crackheads, entitlement slugs, union thugs and drug -addled feces-encrusted occupiers"

    Such choices! Which one do I want to be today? Question: Do I have to be drug addled and feces-encrusted at the same time?

    1. tessiee

      "entitlement slugs, union thugs"

      As usual, the mugs, pugs, muggers, buggerers, rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists are left out of the equation.

      1. SenileAgitation

        Not to mention tossposts, lobcocks, smellsmocks, runagates, trulls, spallpeens clotpolls, bawds and archsots.

    2. tessiee

      "Do I have to be drug addled and feces-encrusted at the same time?"

      Seems to me that if I *had* to be feces-encrusted, I'd insist upon *also* being drug-addled.

    1. prommie

      More like future gas station robbers of Amurrica. Robbing gas stations is the last resort of the stupidest, most thuggish, moronic, drink and drug-addled loser assholes on earth. It really is the most pathetic crime there is. And the Southwest is the epicenter of it. Every fucktarded brain damaged drifter loser seems to drift to Arizona, eventually.

      1. Boojum_Reborn

        When I was a kid, the local inbred home grown thugs decided to rob the Post Office.

        In their home town.

        Which had fewer than a thousand people.

        Of 17 dollars.

        I think the Feds beat them to their house.

  5. BigDumbRedDog

    When I go cannibal I am going to eat this guy first. And then look up those commenters and eat them next. Yee Haw!

  6. freakishlywrong

    Oh, and Kristen, though I appreciate the wade in the feverswamp, be careful over there. Too much exposure to that ignorant hate gets you in to full fetal, rocking back and forth and mumbling; "where am I gonna move, man, where am I gonna move?"

    1. C_R_Eature

      Are there any studies showing that Conservatives are Stupid and violent?

      Oh, right, The Evening News.

  7. Steverino247

    Hahaha! The joke is on all these commenters posting on Fox News because they're harnesting the e-mail addresses of those who post such comments and turning them over to the Secret Service as part of the secret plea bargain that keeps Fox News on the air.

    Under the terms of the bargain: "You can say whatever you want on the air, but only if you give us the names and addresses of people who respond. Think of it as helping your government out with a sting operation if that helps sweeten the taste in your mouth, Mr. Ailes."

      1. Steverino247

        Our top story tonight: Thousands of heads asploded all over America today as news of a secret plea deal between the Obama Administration and Fox News. Under the terms of this secret plan, Fox New could 'continue to lie' so long as information about subscribers who threaten Obama is given up for further investigation.

  8. Callyson

    That first comment–I know I should never expect wingnuts to make sense, but WTF does "twell" mean? Is this moran trying to say dwell or tell? Or is twell a new word now?
    As in, I wish Pat Shearer would go twell off in a bullet riddled T – shirt…

    1. SorosBot

      And then there's "your ignorant", "were your liberal badge", and the complete inability to use capital letters; yes that is one moran who definitely needs to get a brain.

      1. flamingpdog

        Everybody in American spelled words however they wanted to until Noah Webster came along.

        Why did Noah Webster hate America???

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Everyone knows that real Americans make up words as they go along. Now I would like you to refudiate your earlier statement.

  9. Goonemeritus

    I trust this soon to be ex Law Enforcement Officer has a real pull himself up by the boot straps plan for re-employment.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        Not that I'm champing at the bit to refudiate your response, not while twelling here in your old stamping grounds, but the correct phrase is "shoo-in." Now you may were your liberal badge with pride.

        1. MissTaken

          Ah shit, stupid typo! Guess it's time to turn in my liberal badge and become a conservative. Here goes:

          wy yu librulz hait AMEIRCA? iS NOT RASIST TO SHUUT PREZNIT PICHSURE SICNE HE IZ NOT PRENSET. reed yor bible kommy skum!1!!!

    1. spinozasgod

      actually the good towns people are planning an award and parade in his honor….this is Arizona…..

  10. lulzmonger

    "This is proof that Obama is morally weak … once you can pop three or four rounds through his face, that is."

  11. Callyson

    And the third comment–"decmocrats"?
    Then again, since I wish some Dems would deck the wingnuts, maybe that's a useful term after all…

        1. Extemporanus

          I'll at last succumb to hoary tradition and simply say, "Break a leg!"

          Just think: If you get the part, you'll have people to primp & preen your hoohaw for you! (Not that you don't already, but these people will be union.)

          1. tessiee

            Well, la de dah, look who thinks he can start at the top without having to pay his dues like the rest of us!
            Vajazzling is a skill, you know. You don't just *get* a job as a hoohaw primp and preener.
            You have to start out as Callista's butthole bleacher and work your way up the ladder, (so to speak).

          1. Extemporanus

            Thanks, Holmes!

            I actually read "douche etc." and thought to myself, "Well, 'etc.' is certainly an odd nickname to give one's vagina. Must be a British thing, like 'fanny'."

  12. freakishlywrong

    Oh, and fucking tomgladden, "your" welcome for holidays, weekends, sick days and vacations and a 40 hour work week. Where's "you're" cancer now, fuckwit?

  13. OneDollarJuana

    Arizona is a big mining state. These guys seem to be classic examples of heavy metal poisoning. You see the same kinds of attitudes and behavior in other metal-mining areas, such as Utah, or Northern Idaho.

    1. SorosBot

      I suffered from heavy metal poisoning in my youth; it made me bang my head, 'cause metal health will drive you mad.

    2. Isyaignert

      Damn Skippy! I saw an open pit mine in southern AZ that blew my mind. It looked unreal and I have no idea of the horrors it unleashed.

  14. BornInATrailer

    Also, those were the worst you could find? I only had to view one additional page of comments to find a good ol' fashioned nigger joke. Not with even an attempt to make it somehow related to the story at hand.

    That's more like the Fox News comments with which I'm familiar.

    EDIT: And it had 11 'likes'… I'm just going to go home and drink now.

  15. nounverb911

    Peoria, AZ? I my sister used to live in Peoria. Come to think about it, the fat stupid one looks like my brother-in-law.

  16. prommie

    Those comments make me proud that I identify my nationality as a drunkard, and thus, a citizen of the world.

  17. arihaya

    Sgt Shearer and Megyn Kelly : "John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald were just making political statements, essentially".

  18. ifthethunderdontgetya

    Meanwhile, President Joseph Lieberman Obama is busy going after Bush-era whistle-blowers and the few people who dare tell the press what our government is up to.

    The real owners of America are happy to see your attention occupied by the pretend slap-fight between Obama and the corporate whores who actually call themselves Republicans.

  19. ManchuCandidate

    Well, I'm shooting at a T-shirt
    in Peroia, Arizona
    and such a fine sight to see
    It's a Black, my Lord, in a colored
    Shirt lookin' down and taxing me
    Come on, Agents, don't say maybe
    I gotta know if my white skin is
    gonna save me

  20. GhostBuggy

    A cop threatening a president as a "joke"? In Arizona? Preposterous!

    Also, I like how these paranoid revenge fantasies like the one in the Fox comments always include the entire military siding with the racist rednecks in armed insurrection against That One. Yeah, sure, it wouldn't at all end with a robot drone dropping a bomb into the local gun club, would it? No, you're going to be a hero! Why, I bet they'll even let you be a general!

  21. prommie

    I was once accosted in a bar, in the South, by an example of the kind of people who wrote those comments, the incident epitomizes my experience with the Southern Male as a species. Now, I am basically a harmless nerd, never the least interested in bothering people, and I am polite and quiet, in public, so its not like I was blabbing the way I do here and gave any offense that way. I beleive I upset the natives because I used long words, and wore clean clothing, which indicated to them that I thought I was better than them. So, hayseed comes over and greets me with "you look like a college boy, with your fancy college boy clothes, or something like that." Then he says "you think you're so smart, lets see you outsmart my fist." This is why, no matter how good our arguments are, we will never sway these people, because their fists can beat our arguments. Failing that, their bullets will.

      1. prommie

        I escaped unscathed, but this really happened, those were the words, and I heard variations of them on other occasions. I was also frequently called a "damyankee." My accent, diction, and grammar gave me away. I had long hair, which was the real trigger, I think. I was also once called a "yaller-haired hippie thang." I don't remember how I weasled and wangled my way out of that one, but I probably weaseled and wangled, acknowledged his obvious strength and fierceness, its like dogs, you recognize their superiority and they don't have to fight you to establish it. The funny thing is I am not a scrawny little dweeb, I am tight-end or outside linebacker sized, but that just egged them on, sometimes you can hear it, "look at that big one, Clem." "Ah hell, he ain't nothin but a yankee faggot, I can take him." Fun times.

        1. Beowoof

          Ah yes, I have been to the bar in Texas and met similar fellows. I am 5'10" and at the time I was a mere 169lbs. I found that one beer was all I needed as my co-worker and I were getting the damn yankee looks. I convinced friend that we should move on from the redneck bar and back to Marriot where CPA's drinking while traveling on business would be much safer.

          1. BornInATrailer

            That's when you throw out a joke like "Why do Texans have their names on their belt buckles? So the truckers know who they are sucking off!"

            I promise you, hilarity will ensue.

          1. flamingpdog

            I remember driving through Alabama in 1964 on a family vacation. We were white, but had a D. C. license plate on our car. I was sweating bullets the whole time.

          2. Beowoof

            I made that mistake once. Wound up in the Crokett County Jail in Ozona, Texas. Best I can figure the charge was having New York plates. Once I was bailed out, I got out of Texas and won't go back. Still pissed about it all these years later and the charges were dropped.

          3. tessiee

            "Best I can figure the charge was having New York plates."

            Back when I still lived in North Carolina, I was driving home from work (back when I still had work) and passed a Smokey and the Bandit type sheriff (khaki uniform, broad-brimmed hat, and all) who had pulled over a car — not just any car, but a very flashy sapphire blue Lincoln Continental with New York plates. The driver was a young African-American man wearing a very sharp suit, wraparound shades, and a different kind of broad-brimmed hat. I could pretty much read the thought balloons over their respective heads:
            Cop: THANKYA, JEEEEEZUS!!
            Driver: Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit…

    1. tessiee

      "This is why, no matter how good our arguments are, we will never sway these people, because their fists can beat our arguments. Failing that, their bullets will."

      "The violence spread down South where Jackson State brothers
      Learned not to say nasty things about Southern policemen's mothers.
      Nothing much was said about it and next to nothing done;
      The pen is mightier than the sword, but no match for a gun."
      — Beach Boys, "Student Demonstration Time"

    2. tessiee

      "which indicated to them that I thought I was better than them"

      The thing is?
      I *AM* better than they (check out that grammar!).
      I don't have ten out-of-wedlock kids from ten different fathers (eight of whom are blood relatives), a prison record, a meth lab in my garage, etc. etc. etc. Some of it is the luck of the draw in being born into a family that cares about education, but some of it is my own efforts and willingness to sit at the dining room table and do homework while Cletus and Brandine were out conceiving offspring, or rolling their cars, or lynching the neighbor kids, or whatever.

      Guys like that correctly sense that they're the bottom of the barrel, without even the illusion of superiority that their white skins used to give them; and that, unlike the immigrants they hate so much, they're going to *stay* at the bottom of the barrel; and it turns all three of their brain cells rabid.

  22. OneYieldRegular

    This might be a good moment for Jan Brewer to step in and demonstrate her incredibly effective leadership skills.

  23. mavenmaven

    Jared Lautner was also just making a political statement. Arizona seems to breed a lot of sickos.

  24. outragedcitizen

    Seriously, can me please split this country in half now? These guys along with the Evangelical Christians, GOP, Teabaggers and other racists can have the southern half. Everyone with an IQ above 70 can live in the northern half.

    1. prommie

      Jeesus Fuck, as if the police were not militarized enough. Here is another reason I like the draft; to get people to join voluntarily, they have to constantly bombard us with propaganda about how the military is so cool and tough and everyone in the military is a "hero." When the country had a draft, they didn't have to do that shit, they would just draft people. People hated the military back when there was a draft. My father was a WWII vet, served 4 fucking years, he told me a million times, "don't ever join the fucking army." He thought it was a loser thing to do. Thats how it should be viewed.

      1. tessiee


        Seriously, nothing against the good people in the military — and there are some — and I feel sorry for the youngsters who got suckered into it, or have no other options; but that knee-jerk "support the troops" and "serving their country" is bullshit. What "service", exactly, are they providing? Did anyone here order a bunch of dead furriners from Sears? The military, in large part, exists to thin the herd and capture cheap oil, and that's about it.

  25. Tundra Grifter

    After their little shoot around, those boys went home and posted positive reviews on Amazon of Jan Brewer's book.

  26. Eve8Apples

    I doubt those dimwits have any future as gas station attendants. Most gas stations have replaced gas station attendants with gas pumps that allow the customer to scan a credit card at the pump without the need to pay inside. The gas station owner would rather employ a gas pump than those useless tools.

  27. fartknocker

    R13-4-109. Denial, Revocation, Suspension, or Cancellation of Peace Officer Certified Status
    A. Causes for denial, suspension, or revocation. The Board may deny certified status or suspend or revoke the certified status of a peace officer for:
    9. Any conduct or pattern of conduct that tends to disrupt, diminish, or otherwise jeopardize public trust in the law enforcement profession.

    Sgt. Shearer should learn the phrase "Do you want fries with that?"

  28. Allmighty_Manos

    Obama passed a conservative-authored health-care reform law that is a near replica of the one passed by the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, continued the bailouts started by his Republican predecessor, maintained the tax cuts voted in by the GOP, and had Osama Bin Laden taken out. If that doesn't justify a bunch of raged up tea party yahoos shooting up a T-shirt out in the desert, I don't know what does

  29. owhatever

    Now Sergeant Shearer and his posse of moronic inbreds are looking for a T-shirt with Gabby Giffords picture. Because she is white and if they shoot that shirt, then it proves they are not racist.

    1. Beowoof

      Problem is down south hanging brown people is the tradition. And they will hang white people who protest. I think it is best just to stay away from stupid.

  30. rickmaci

    Sell Arizona to Carlos Slim for enough to pay off our debt, Arizona becomes part of Mexico again, and the crackertrashfucktards have to learn to speak Spanish from scratch or sneak illegally across the border. Hey, I can dream.

    1. Negropolis

      Send them back to Mexico, and then see how them rednecks stack up against them narcos.

      Two birds, one stonne.

  31. C_R_Eature

    Do you think we could get these guys interested in signing up for Newt's Moon Colony?
    We'll tell them it's a Libertarian paradise, they can bring all the guns they want and it's Whites Only.

    Sort of an ass-backwards Annares.

  32. Tommy1733

    Ironically, these kinds of half-threats on the president help to increase the size of government, as the secret service need to hire more staff to assess them.

  33. Antispandex

    Geeze, imagine if a rich white guy took out a "Wanted Poster" ad in the news paper the day before the President was assassinated. Everyone might jump to the wrong conclussion and think some cabal of rich right-wing "patriots" killed him. That's how these conspiracy nuts get their ideas. It's better to just not think about things like that!

    1. SorosBot

      No; this is a country where Scott Roeder was a lone nut killer. Ignore the fact that Dr. Tiller survived several previous assassination attempts, that Operation Rescue had a wanted poster with his face on it on their website, or that Bill O'Reilly regularly called him a murderer on his show.

    2. GeorgiaBurning

      Just an incredible coincidence, I'm sure. That the Koch family was involved is another incredible coincidence.

  34. Negropolis

    This is the land that is just now starting to move on from Loughner. Stay classy, you racist, xenophobic motherfuckers. You couldn't pay me that hell-brought-to-earth.

    Fuck Arizona; fuck it with a prickly pear.

  35. Negropolis

    Come on, guys. This is a town so smart it decided to name itself after Peoria, IL. What more needs to be said?

  36. ttommyunger

    "“It was more of a political statement … " Sure, Sparky, the Secret Service will buy that, no problem; now, just put your hands behind your back-you know the drill.

  37. DrOzarkZ.Hellbender

    Yeah, but some British guy made a movie about Bush being assassinated, so this is no big deal.

    (According to FreeRepublic, it's every liberal's favoritest movie ever, and not at all the footnote that those of us in the reality-based community consider it)

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