DAILY BRIEFING  7:58 am March 1, 2010

Blue Blue Windows Behind the Stars

by Ken Layne

  • Nancy Pelosi says she’s got the votes to pass a Health Care Reform bill in the House, but it will be different than the bill the Senate passed last year, so …. move to Canada? [New York Times]
  • Are you a person who looks at the weather news on your cell phone? Congratulations, you are one of the people doing that. [Wall Street Journal]
  • The mayor of White Plains, N.Y., is accused of slamming his wife’s hand in the car door because she was totally pissing him off. [Lower Hudson Valley]
  • More than 700 people died in the 8.8 Chile quake. [BBC News]
  • The Winter Olympics ended with a “mime wearing a tool belt” who beat the shit out of Mitt Romney as Celine Dion sang “O! Canada” to Chile. [CNN]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 45 comments }

dijetlo March 1, 2010 at 8:08 am

Today, we are all tool belt wearing mimes…

proudgrampa March 1, 2010 at 8:12 am

Can’t people just tell their spouses when they are getting pissed off?

And thank goodness the Olympics is over. Maybe we can get back to bad (worse?) television.

plowman March 1, 2010 at 8:13 am

Maybe someone should remind Nancy the SAME bill has to pass both the House AND Senate. Maybe it’s just all about ego. Maybe it’s about the money the health-care/indutrial complex gives her.

What Fresh Hell is This? March 1, 2010 at 8:16 am

I wandered away from the TV after the parade of hot curling-MILFs and inflated Mounties. I would have hung around if I had known they would have inflated beavers. Damn.

x111e7thst March 1, 2010 at 8:20 am

I like to wear my tool belt while closing doors on women’s hands.

Chernobyl Soup March 1, 2010 at 8:23 am

Inflatable beavers or GTFO.

Chernobyl Soup March 1, 2010 at 8:25 am

Was the mayor’s car a Toyota? If so he could blame the incident in the manufacturer and everyone would totally buy that.

4tehlulz March 1, 2010 at 8:26 am

>White Plains

Racist

Boojum March 1, 2010 at 8:27 am

I think we should have a Congress Day, with a parade. We could have giant balloons in the shape of egos.

freakishlystrong March 1, 2010 at 8:27 am

[re=521560]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: [re=521562]Chernobyl Soup[/re]:
Damn! Wonketts all think alike!

Boojum March 1, 2010 at 8:30 am

[re=521565]Boojum[/re]: And in the shape of beavers and the health insurance industry. And bags of poison rat dicks for them to feast on.

WarAndG March 1, 2010 at 8:31 am

Olympic Photos, frame #2: 1960′s catholic girls on parade with mega maxi pads around God-sized flaming doobies? Please explain.

Boojum March 1, 2010 at 8:34 am

[re=521568]WarAndG[/re]: A health care metaphor.

bureaucrap March 1, 2010 at 8:34 am

Beavers, Avril Lavigne, Mounties, Michael J. Fox…

I would note that Terrance and Phillip were notable by their absence.

V572625694 March 1, 2010 at 8:34 am

….leaves us helpless, helpless…helpless!

cheeto_jeebus March 1, 2010 at 8:42 am

[re=521568]WarAndG[/re]: needs more Shake Weights, then you would understand.
http://tinyurl.com/lvja4x

Sparky McGruff March 1, 2010 at 8:46 am

[re=521562]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Inflatable Beavers vs. Detachable Penis. I’m betting on the beavers, and that’s hard to say as a University of Oregon alumni.

Sparky McGruff March 1, 2010 at 8:48 am

[re=521568]WarAndG[/re]: Maxi pads and giant doobies? That sounds just about right for Vancouver.

MzNicky March 1, 2010 at 8:53 am

Yellow moon on the rise
Big words flying, but they’re all lies
Throwing shadows on our eyes
Leave us
Health-care-less, health-care-less

eh, it’s early, where’s the coffee, etc.

hockeymom March 1, 2010 at 8:54 am

[re=521558]proudgrampa[/re]: Like the Marriage Ref? Worst show ever.

Monsieur Grumpe March 1, 2010 at 9:13 am

Did William Shatner perform Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? I would have went to the Olympics just to see that.

coolcatdaddy March 1, 2010 at 9:22 am

[re=521576]hockeymom[/re]: The only way the Marriage Ref would be more entertaining would be to have it featuring the McCains. But you can’t really use language like that on tv.

proudgrampa March 1, 2010 at 9:23 am

[re=521576]hockeymom[/re]: Yeah. WTF was that??? Just more evidence for the continued decline of Western Civilization, I guess…

snideinplainsight March 1, 2010 at 9:25 am

Let Us Now Mock Fred Hiatt

V572625694 March 1, 2010 at 9:30 am

[re=521582]snideinplainsight[/re]: Always appropriate to mock Hiatt. But is there a particular offense this morning? Or is he a Canuckistani?

red sky March 1, 2010 at 9:31 am

Wasn’t anyone frightened when during the closing ceremonies the Russians sang the freaking Soviet Anthem, that’s some spooky stuff.

Diana Davies March 1, 2010 at 9:33 am

[re=521568]WarAndG[/re]: As a 1960s catholic girl, I can say that teh maxi pads kept us virginal, you know like just in case.

snideinplainsight March 1, 2010 at 9:39 am

[re=521583]V572625694[/re]: His biweekly smarmy little op-ed in the Post. Today’s is particularly “Nice try, Obama”.

magic titty March 1, 2010 at 9:41 am

Fuck Sidney Crosby.

/was rooting for Russia, defaulted to U.S

Potater March 1, 2010 at 9:52 am

I think I’ve had my fill of my curling for about 4 years. But get back to me in 3 years and 11 months and I’ll be JONESIN’ for it.

JMP March 1, 2010 at 9:52 am

[re=521576]hockeymom[/re]: Remember how Jerry Seinfeld was once both hip and entertaining? Actually, it’s hard not to with the reruns constantly on; but it’s sad how our nation’s comedians tend to slide into dullness as they age.

At least it’s nice to see Leno looks to have almost nobody decent for his first week back; hopefully most of the big names will refuse to go on.

UncleTom March 1, 2010 at 9:58 am

One wonder’s…
what Pat Robertson will spout off as the true cause of the earthquake &
when will the Baptist missionaries begin to steal children from the Santiago slums

Surfeit O' March 1, 2010 at 10:00 am

[re=521584]red sky[/re]: Apparently the Russian national anthem is the Soviet anthem, only with different words. In fairness, it is a seriously kick-ass tune.

Snarko Marx March 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

Fumiko Bradley? Glad to hear he waited to slam her hand in the car door now rather than using the mailbox door when she arrived from the Asian Bride Mail Order Company a few years ago.

Long Form Def Certificate March 1, 2010 at 10:28 am

Fix the BBC link, please.

Cape Clod March 1, 2010 at 10:31 am

[re=521566]freakishlystrong[/re]: This may have been the greatest line ever uttered in network history.

Bob Costas: and now the always enjoyable giant, inflatable beavers.

Cape Clod March 1, 2010 at 10:36 am

[re=521584]red sky[/re]: I know what you mean. They sounded dour, determined and ready to kick your ass if you even think about getting in their way.

Canmon (the Inadequate) March 1, 2010 at 10:55 am

[re=521568]WarAndG[/re]: Giant beavers need mega maxi pads. Why is that so hard to understand?

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 10:56 am

[re=521572]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: Seems like a waste of money when there are so many cheaper ergonomic alternatives. By which I mean: inflating giant beavers by hand. Oh and tug jobs.

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 10:57 am

[re=521663]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: This thread is now closed.

Lascauxcaveman March 1, 2010 at 11:06 am

What, no love for the human hamster-balls? Those are always awesome.

Mr Blifil March 1, 2010 at 11:10 am

When you look at the pictures of Fumiko Bradley it’s easy to see why he felt she needed to be taken down a notch. If a man is going to outsource his wife and kids to Japanese manufacturers, it’s his patriotic duty to keep her from feeling too cocky, what with her slender figure and adorable children and such. She also vouched for him, upon returning from the police station where she had just pressed charges, saying that her husband is a “great mayor” and “great father,” all finger-torturing assholery to the contrary. Considering that by rights she’d probably be spending 6 days a week blowing sailors in Okinawa in groups of 20, she does owe him a huge debt of gratitude.

S.Luggo March 1, 2010 at 11:23 am

[re=521564]4tehlulz[/re]: Feh. In White Plains, we no forget the December 7th.

DemmeFatale March 1, 2010 at 11:36 am

Michelle Malkin deserves the Asian slurs (ping-pong balls, etc.), because she’s a right-wing ass hat. But Fumiko Bradley? Not so much.

Beanball March 2, 2010 at 4:33 am

[re=521573]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Oregon! The Beaver state!!

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