Wonkette
- The government will run into trouble with its loans once the Fed raises interest rates and might even lose its new 7-bedroom townhouse in Phoenix. [New York Times]
- Pedophiles keep molesting children, despite ankle monitor tracking devices things that strongly suggest they consider doing otherwise. [Washington Post]
- Short-term radiation leak at Three Mile Island this weekend! Pennsylvania is nuclear-capable, which means serious thought must be given to bombing it. [CNN]
- 21 Filipino hostages, including the wife of a guy running for governor, were killed after a rival political gang hijacked their convoy. [AP]
- The Brazilian President invited Ahmadinejad to Brazil, which is something the US might be mad about even though Ahmadinejad goes to New York like constantly. [LA Times]
- Here is the theme of today’s copy of the Internet: this MTV person had a totes scandalous performance on the teenager show. Everyone please hope Andrew Sullivan proves Bristol Palin is a hologram. [MTV News]
You mean wars aren’t free?
FUCK
Start nuclear attacks on Pennsylvania by first hitting Heinz Field, followed by Sidney Crosby’s house.
It’s not a very good news day if Ahmadinejad is the best entry.
The irony about ballooning US debt payments is that it is going to be the needle that pop’s many a US ‘Mercun’s fantasy bubble that gubbiment can function without revenue aka taxes.
“What a good country or a good squirrel should be doing is stashing away nuts for the winter,” said William H. Gross, managing director of the Pimco Group.
And I thought the problem had to do with complex stuff like the federal budget and tax policy. Turns out we should just be stuffing more nuts into hollow trees. Fuck - who knew.
The AP coyly avoids the following up on the connection between this bombing and the
Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM), which was negotiated in part my the MILF. Someone at AP has been paying attention, and knows not to use MILF in a headline.
“..offenders who are jumping online with cellphones and portable game systems and flocking to social networking and other sites, where children or pornography can easily be found.”
Why not save some letters and just write “flocking to the entire Internet”
PA used to have signs at the eastern state line that read “America starts here”. Let the bombing begin. Asswipes.
pampl: Or save even more and write “/b/”.
I loved that line tucked away near the end about Ahmadinejad’s visit to Brazil being consistent with Obama’s policy. In other words, no real story here, we just wanted to give some neocon douchebags a chance to get their panties in a twist about Brazil.
Don’t worry about interest rates, once the “Audit The Fed Bill” passes we will know exactly … you know … which … got
billionstrillions … and if the gold is really tungsten … and … other stuff too. Yeah baby, can’t wait.4tehlulz: Remember, the phrase ‘wasteful government spending’ only applies to social services; military spending, and especially wars, are always doubleplusgood.
x111e7thst: The analogy fails, anyway, as it is winter now and the squirrels who used to control already used up all the nuts in order to destroy a palm tree in the Middle East.
In other news, Nessa Feddis, VP, American Bankers Assoc. was nominated for Hate Fuck of the Century this weekend…
As a Pennsylvania native, I recommend we start bombing the central part of the state, because those are the people who need it the most. The Steelers already bombed pretty bad last night, so bombing western Pennsylvania would be redundant.
x111e7thst: Such profound insights as “save some of your money” is why they’re so rich and we’re not.
slavojzizek: And Hugo (”Yugo”) Chavez–he’s the greatest threat to American security since Hitler! Isn’t it amazing how we thrash around trying to find enemies worthy of our weapons systems?
Mr Blifil: Do you think she would be totally “confused” about the reasons behind your amorous advances? Or just segments of her?
x111e7thst: Yes indeed those signs left me wondering, “So where the bleep are the border guards? And I need guns, many guns.”
But the Republics were in charge back then (I think?) and Barry needs PA in 2012. A party-wide Bud Dwyer solution would do the job.
Larry McAwful:
The Pennsyvania bombings should start in Breezewood. The Steelers are in a deep funk, and there is no way, no way they’ll make the post-season this year. Oh, well.
Servo:
Pennsylvania, Servo. You non-Monday jackass!
Servo: “The City of Motels”… ugh. Good place to start. No place deserves carpet bombing more than a town whose pride hinges on being the largest rest stop in North America (except for the state of Delaware.)
The Steelers are being karmically punished for all those western Pennsylvania counties going for McCain/Palin last year, including my native Mercer County (it was close, but still.) I hate to say it, but they deserve it.
4tehlulz: Heh, I just namedropped you on BJ.
Wasteful government spending = money to help the poors so that they don’t die;
Good government spending = $3 trillion super-cool jet fighter planes that have no practicable application other than starring in Discovery Channel shows for nerds.
Ola, senhor Ahmadineja. Estou perdido. http://img.wonkette.com/images/thumbs/938f8f2f312b03321cb33993f6121ca8.jpg
BlueStateLibtard:
Hey! I’m one of those airplane nerds! However, I’m also an advocate of simplicity and cost-effectiveness. What good is a combat aircraft if we can’t afford to lose it in combat? Why do we need to be 125 steps ahead of our closest competitor’s air power? Moreover, why do we really need an Air Force? All of the Air Force missions can be easily absorbed by the other military branches. There’s already a massive overlap. If we as a nation are serious about reigning in defense spending, then dissolving the gluttonous Air Force would be a logical first step.
I quote an Army grunt: “The scariest sight on the battlefield is not the enemy. It is the entry of Air Force ground support aircraft.”
steverino247: Allz I know is she’d require a damn sight more strenuous engagement than some ol’ Harvard professer-lady.
Servo: Seriously, the worst mistake the US made after WW II was making the Air Force into a separate branch.
No. 2 was letting Curtis LeMay run SAC.
bago: lulz I made essentially the same comment over there
Except without the all caps FUCK; I save that especially for Wonkette.
“The first visit to Brazil by an Iranian head of state has generated two protests in the last week in which thousands of demonstrators, many of them Jews alarmed by Ahmadinejad’s views on the Holocaust and on Israel, took to the streets and beaches of Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo.
Jews in Brazil protest on the beach. They have their priorities straight.
Derr umm… err… umm ya know… mushroom umm cloud. umm…
Bush should’ve thought about bombing it.
Larry McAwful: Speaking as one whose childhood was misspent in Beaver County, PA, I completely concur with your karmic punishment of the McCain Counties. Hit ‘em where it HURTS. Nothing matters more to residents of those out-lying counties than the Steelers (”deer season” is a distant second). People who live in the CITY of Pittsburgh have other things to think about; they love the Steelers, but the obsession level isn’t comparable.
Servo: We need an Air Force because it is the primary supplier of Christian wingnuts to the state of Colorado.