ATTN: Andrew Sullivan has postponed the Internet today.
It is absolutely crucial that Sullivan and Patrick and Other Patrick read Going Rogue carefully today. It is their actual civil duty to America, to prove that thing they are always trying to prove about Trig, which we forget the hypothesis of. It was something like “Sarah Palin was never pregnant because Trig’s from Kenya.” Point is: TIME OUT.
“Since the Dish has tried to be rigorous and careful in analyzing Palin’s unhinged grip on reality from the very beginning – specifically her fantastic story of her fifth pregnancy - we feel it’s vital that we grapple with this new data as fairly and as rigorously as possible. That takes time to get right. And it is so complicated we simply cannot focus on anything else.
There are only three of us.”
Four. Do not forget God, who will shepherding the Dishmen on their journey. Today will be a dark RSS feed of the soul.
{ 85 comments }
A journey through Palin’s uterus wouldn’t be all that dark. That place is practically a drive-thru.
I was just about to append this blast of titanic hubris to one of the 21934 open Palin threads after running it through my self-awareness detector (none was found). My reaction is similar to the reaction of the Russian people to the death of Stalin (according to the Onion): “Who Will Crush My Will To Live Now?” Thank God this forum is still available.
Guess it takes an unhinged reality-gripper to know one.
Don’t they often get lazy anyways and just link to something else with some comment like, “Thought you would be interested in seeing a website that has more pictures of Jeff Gannon in action.”? Why can’t they just do that?
And, I know it’s pedantic, and I’m fighting a losing battle, but “data” is plural; “datum” is singular. So it should be “these data”. Limeys are supposed to know better.
Sounds like Dish dithering to me.
Why the fuck would anyone who wasn’t a supporter of her read the fucking thing? Stop caring about this person. Jesus.
My favorite of the trio is Other Patrick, the well-meaning but dim-witted starfish.
Sullivan=Sullenburger. There is no difference.
The third time the Dish goes silent will be when Levi’s Playgirl spread comes out.
Who knew Sarah Palin was reimagining Infinite Jest.
The reason now is the same as the reason then.
Palin was news in 1999? This is confusing, Andrew! More than usual I mean.
[re=461537]bureaucrap[/re]: I, for one, would like to see more pictures of Jeff Gannon in action.
[re=461548]Mahousu[/re]: So pissed. Read yesterday that there will be no peen.
Sully’s obsession with Palin has been all-consuming and more than a little annoying over the past week. I don’t think he’s posted on anything BUT for a couple days, especially now that he’s convinced she’s as obsessed with him as he is with her. As much as I enjoy the hatin’ on the Palin, I’m relieved he’s gone apoplectic with impotent rage.
Sorry Andrew…..there’s no way anyone believes this is more than a meth-fueled day off of fucking. No one gives enough of a shit about Sarah.
Andrew Sullivan = Margo Channing
Sara Palin = Eve Harrington
Roll cameras!
[re=461551]taylormattd[/re]: Ditto. That’s what Sully’s really doing: having one of his big, twelve-hour bear pile-ons with Jeff Gannon, his two slave-cubs, and plenty of weed.
Do not forget God, who will shepherding the Dishmen on their journey. Today will be a dark RSS feed of the soul.
I originally read that as God would be Shepardizing the Dishman.
I guess since Sully has not yet retained Oily to sue Bible Spice over Trig’s birf certificate, there’s no case law yet.
Good for Sully. He’s got a real good page of the “Odd Lies Of Sarah Palin” that lists every single one of her lies that can be definatly proven as lies. I like that. One-stop shopping, it is.
Well, I’m happy to let them read it over there so we don’t have to read it over here..or something.
Sully is pretty much around the bend. Expect to find him screaming through the streets of D.C. in only his underwear and warpaint by the time this is all over.
“There are only three of us.”
Is he doing that 12-hour sex thing again???
[re=461556]PickneyPinchback[/re]: Ha ha–I was just thinking something similar. But I think that, in Sully’s mind, Margaret Thatcher is Margo Channing. Sully himself is that boytoy director Margaret Thatcher is fucking.
We really need to get these two together in a caged octogon and get it over with already.
We are at DEFCON 3!!! Repeat DEFCON 3!!! Dive! Dive!
[re=461566]Jim Demintia[/re]: I guess I just enjoy the visual of Sully decked out as Margo better!
Jesus Sully, now you’re just satirizing yourself. Seriously, that post reads like an Onion opinion piece.
[re=461540]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: maybe a chafing dish?
Two words: Devil’s Triangle
[re=461568]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Or maybe have them re-enact one of those catfights from Dynasty, like the one where Crystal pushes Alexis into the koi pond. Now that would make the top-page image on Huffington Post!
[re=461533]AxmxZ[/re]:
Like a BB in a boxcar.
[re=461564]proudgrampa[/re]: No, but having three people read the same copy of a book is very trying. “Can I turn the page now?”
can wonkette please publish a substitute for the “view from my window” feature photo that sullivan runs everyday? i can’t get through my day without it. something featuring a dumpster or air pollution would do the trick nicely.
[re=461540]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: Dishering.
Read at the dentist, the Palin book acts like an analgesic.
You are just so glad to finally be drilled in the dentists chair
instead of reading the Bible Spice word salad.
There aren’t enough people fact-checking this steaming heap of mooseshit! So Sully simply must take humpday off and curl up in a nice comfy chair with his assistants and a steaming heap of mooseshit.
Maybe Sully’s just going to visit his local National Forest.
WRT Sully’s “There is a possibility here of such a huge scandal that we would be crazy not to take our time either to debunk it or move it forward for further examination” — the only thing I can think of is that Palin is secretly a 54 year old, 210 lb. Jewish accountant named Ralph who has resided all along in Reistertown, Md. (a northwestern suburb of Baltimore). The whole thing about being a celebrity-crazed, fundamentalist christian bimbette was an elaborate hoax carried out with a body double and lots of makeup.
Either that, or she is a full time employee of fox news.
[re=461591]sati demise[/re]: So that’s what “drill, baby, drill” was all about!
[re=461587]dougbob[/re]: This should do nicely: Slide show: Australia’s catastrophic wildfires of 2009
Andrew, I appreciate the seriousness with which you approach this endeavor. Please tweet us as things develop.
[re=461554]Gopherit[/re]: I’m apparently in the wrong line of work….
[re=461599]bureaucrap[/re]: Oh my God NOT REISTERSTOWN.
[re=461591]sati demise[/re]: that made my day
Andrew is so much fun when he’s being self-important. Which means he’s fun 24/7.
Only Sully could write an 800-word post to announce he’s not going to post.
I implore everyone to show their solidarity for the brave yet beseiged Sully, Thing #1, and Thing #2 by joining me in…
GOING ROUGE!
Only together can we persevere through the next 10 hours or so of darkness. Only together can we reach the light at the end of Sully’s harrowing refractory period of oppression.
The Dish dudes need us now more than ever, people! And we need each other most of all!
Know hoke my brothers and sisters!
KNOW FUCKING HOKE!
[re=461562]Joshua Norton[/re]: Again?
kudos to andy and the ganglet for slowing down and trying to get something right. that used to be the way things were done, and some say it even worked. just so long as he doesn’t get distracted and go looking for truth in television, everything will be all right. and he could turn down the volume on the adjectives and adverbs, that might help.
[re=461574]imissopus[/re]: Maybe he can get Jim Anchower to fill in while he’s “gone”.
That would be awesome!
Laugh now but you’ll regret it when he finally proves conclusively that not only did Bristol give birth to Trig but that the father was John Gosselin.
I say kudos to Andrew, too. Someone has to take the time to do this. He’s got a great list of all of Palin’s lies that can be proven to be lies, on his site. GJ, Sully.
[re=461533]AxmxZ[/re]: Madam, it’s a uterus not a clown car…
I will at least credit him with taking the time to read the book before critiquing it, which many many other people will not do but rather rehash what other people say about it. I’m all in favor of knowing what specifically is wrong and laughable about something before actually laughing at it.
I foresee a new form of torture: the brave hero is forced into headphones through which is played at loud volume “Going Rogue” read by the author herself. I myself would give up the locations of my comrades within seconds.
[re=461587]dougbob[/re]: Ugh the view from your window thing is, to use a Dan Savage word, leotarded. It’s like, oh, great, I’ll post someone’s crummy 1mpx cell phone camera shot of a goat beside a rusty car, just to show I have readers from rural Tajikistan. I suspect though that he just uses pictures from Alabama and pretends they’re from Kraplakistan. It’s like postsecret without the melodrama.
Since he went dark shortly after his daily 4:20 pm Mental Health Break, I figured he had pulled a ‘Towelie’ and “just wandered off.” Either that, or was shot by someone in a helicopter.
[re=461568]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Would they fit in a cage with an octaroon?
Oh. Never mind.
“these” new data – “this” new datum.
Jeez!
Andrew Sullivan: Drama Queen
Why does his “there are only three of us” make me think of nevernudes?
There are dozens of you, Sully. Dozens!
Yay Wonkette! Always testing the limits of free speech.
It’s takes some huevos to comment on the innocence of the daughter of the 4th richest man in America, in print, and follow with the word “ho” FOUR times.
Good luck. I’m sure there’s someone who’ll work pro bono.
The last person to try to make sense of something as convoluted as Palin’s book is HAL9000 and look where it got him.
[re=461551]taylormattd[/re]: I think “Gannon” (what was his real name, again?) is in his mid-40s by now. I’d much prefer that Sully linked to my new fave, Taylor Lautner.
[re=461699]bureaucrap[/re]: James Guckert, b. 1957. He’s 52.
[re=461580]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: MC 900 Foot Jesus, is that you?
[re=461685]happyrock[/re]: God is Larry Ellison’s daughter??
I don’t know about anyone else, but I am getting goosebumps in anticipation
It’s like Andrew just donkey punched the entire intergoogles
[re=461690]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:
Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
In what respect, Charlie?
The real problem is figuring how to arrange three jerks into a circle.
[re=461551]taylormattd[/re]: Gannon/Johnston 2012!
We were thinking the same thing (or at least I was):
http://danquaylespotatoe.blogspot.com/2009/11/it-puts-palin-in-basket.html
I wonder if Sullivan will videotape himself doing a soap opera-esque, 10 second, melodramatic stare down after announcing, “No. Sarah wasn’t the mother. And Bristol wasn’t the mother. It . . . was . . . TODD!!!! Todd gave birth to Trig!”
[re=461742]blader[/re]: Today, we are all donkey punched by Andrew Sullivan.
[re=461751]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Two words: Ouroboros; butter.
And he took out his pencil Andrew. (That’s pencil.)
[re=461556]PickneyPinchback[/re]: So, Jim = Addison DeWitt?
[re=461764]Warm Apple Pie[/re]: Sully suspects but can only affirm after reading that it was Todd who gave birth to Trig after being kidnapped and impregnated by the evil Stephano in the library vby Colonel Mustard.
Sully has such an obsession with Snowbillie Palin.
He’s just jealous because Palin has legs more shapely than his own. And with less hair.
GOD JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY.
[re=461577]Buzz Feedback[/re]: two other words: acute angina.
New AS.com post: “There is no proof here of anything, but there is a much more nuanced and detailed narrative of the events (especially now we have Palin’s first considered version of the events since the campaign) that when taken together has definitely helped illuminate what was once obscure and, well, bizarre. Believe it or not, it makes a little more sense now.”
Looks like a grudging acceptance that Trig is hers, with a lot of “who wouldn’t have questioned it…look at all the conflicting stories and lack of clarity until now.”
Andrew, in other words:
“Look, man, I’ve got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I… this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it’s not just, it might not be just such a simple… uh, you know?”
This is also at least as heroic as when McCain suspended his campaign.
This sounds like a job for … Dishman!
Ooooo! “Where is Trig’s long-form birth certificate, HENGHH?” x 10! Reverse Birthers. Don’t ever let anyone fool you into thinking that the Birthers and Truthers have a monopoly on bat-shit crazy.
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