Election Day For Some Means No-Work-Day For All*! (*Re: Some)

  daily briefing
  • Happy Election Day! Today Chris Christie could lose more than just weight, though really, he could lose some weight. [New York Times]
  • Political capital, political capital Obama Corzine political politics-word capital. [AP]
  • The North Korean Army has taken control of the economy, the country’s food supply, their natural resources, etc. [Washington Post]
  • President of Irony (!!) Hamid Karzai—who, you’ll recall, won Afghanistan’s presidential election without even definitely receiving more votes than his opponent—is suddenly so concerned about corruption. Classic projection is what this is. [CNN]
  • Two of Britain’s biggest banks—think: about the size of any random American ATMs, like right?—agreed to withhold executive bonuses in exchange for $40 billion “pounds.” (This is one of Corzine’s famous Christie Fatjokes.) [Times Online]
  • Hillary Clinton has been really going the extra mile lately in terms of trying to convince all Muslims on Earth to refrain from hating her. [Reuters]

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About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

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43 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    Yay North Korea! Out 300ing the movie 300, but with less obvious homoerotic overtones.

    The military mafioso should hire brilliant US American fizkall minds to manage their money. I think Ken Lewis, Jimmy Cayne and John Thain are available.

  2. the problem child

    It’s okay, the banks are just going to “defer” their bonuses, so double bonuses for everyone next year!

  3. dave666

    I seem to recall another third world banana republic where the president “won” office without winning a majority of the votes, back in the year 2000 or so, hmmmmmmmmmmmm, where was that

  4. shadowMark

    Britain might think about nationalizing the Beatles and then cutting a deal with iTunes. That would raise some cash and get the songs on iTunes.

  5. President Beeblebrox

    “What to watch for to get a very early sense of some dynamics for 2010: It is probably not wise to draw broad lessons from Tuesday’s results about what might happen in next year’s mid-term Congressional elections and a raft of high-profile governor’s races. That said, it is worth watching whether Mr. Obama succeeds in turning out his supporters — especially people who voted for the first time last year — in New Jersey and to a lesser extent in Virginia.”

    In other words, sure, we’re going to go ahead and draw broad lessons from the 2009 elections even though we said it’s not wise to do so. And we wonder why the Times is losing money faster than Rush Limbaugh with a Dominican ladyboy?

  6. Larry McAwful

    I heard someone predicting heavy turnout in New Jersey today. Chris Christie immediately attacked Jon Corzine for this new fat joke. Corzine responded, saying, “Lighten up!” and then the fur really started to fly…

  7. JMP

    No-work day for election day? It would be nice, but I don’t know anyone who’s got today off. Besides all the olds and unemployds; but everyday is a no-work day for those lucky folks.

    Also: fuck the striking SEPTA workers. Most cities don’t allow their transit unions to strike; that would be nice here.

  8. x111e7thst

    [re=448909]JMP[/re]: Government employees, down to the municipal level in many cases, have the day off. We also have good healthcare. It’s ok to hate us – we are used to that and it’s not us that have to wait on those long lines in order to have our incomprehensible form curtly rejected.

  9. President Beeblebrox

    [re=448909]JMP[/re]: Yes, well, SEPTA strikes are a part of life in Philadelphia along with sports teams who choke in championship series and greasy cheesesteaks. I just love how SEPTA workers simply do not care how you get to work or school during their strikes – their answer is, basically, “fuck you, take the taxi, walk, or use Regional Rail.”

  10. Strongy O'

    Royal Bank of Scotland is the biggest bank in the world. I’m starting to wonder if *all* your commentary is this poorly fact-checked. There, I said it.

  11. the problem child

    [re=448915]Barry White Zombie[/re]: 40 billion pounds = 65.1 billion dollars, give or take a few shillings

  12. Monsieur Grumpe

    Dear Strongy O’,

    Fact check is to Wonkette commenter
    AS
    Cotter pin is to carnival ride assembler.

    Also!
    Remove the “‘” at the end of your name and your reply button will magically start to work.

  13. WarAndG

    I’m taking comfort in seeing that FUZZY PUSSY CAP on top of Karzi’s head for the next 4 or whatever years. It’s the crown of Afghanistan.

  14. Mahousu

    [re=448915]Barry White Zombie[/re]: There’s something wrong with the “L” on your keyboard. You might want to fix that.

  15. shadowMark

    [re=448920]the problem child[/re]: Yeah, I was going to tell BWZ that but then I looked REALLY FUCKING CLOSELY at his post and realized he was making a snark at poor Juli for using the US $ in front of the numbers for the British money instead of the Brit £ pound symbol and BWZ never thought that Juli may have done that on porpoise.

  16. Servo

    Hillary,
    If you want to win the hearts and minds of Arab leaders, you must let Bill do your job while you stand quietly behind him, eyes to the floor and wearing a burqa to cover the caning bruises.

  17. Prommie

    [re=448904]the problem child[/re]: And hey, they can loan themselves the money they would have gotten this year, to be paid back next year, at what, 2%? Yay, self denial and clean living, the path to virtue.

  18. Prommie

    [re=448913]President Beeblebrox[/re]: You know, I have been holding back about those fucking cheesesteaks. Ya know what? They suck, they suck balls. Vile shit. Shitty bread, shitty “meat,” shitty cheese-like yellow goo. Racist vendors. What the fuck are you looking at, fuck Philly.

  19. proudgrampa

    [re=448921]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: To StrongO -

    Facts? I don’t got to show you no stinkin’ facts! Bwahahahahaha!!!!!

  20. Servo

    [re=448939]Prommie[/re]:
    I never had an “authentic” Philly cheesesteak and, based entirely on their repulsive appearance, I never will.

  21. Larry McAwful

    [re=448939]Prommie[/re]: Cheez Wiz sounds fucking gross, and I don’t care for white bread. I’m a native of western Pennsylvania and have never been to Philadelphia, but I’ve had cheesesteaks and, well… you’re better off in Pittsburgh with a Primanti Brothers sandwich, I’ll tell you that.

    A friend of mine took the family to Philadelphia and they waited forever for what he said was a really mediocre sandwich. His Dominican wife nearly killed the guy at the counter because of the “This is America–Speak English!” sign in the shop.

    I have no interest in the things. If I need trans fats and excessive cholesterol, I can find it elsewhere, easy.

  22. richardwb1

    [re=448904]the problem child[/re]: “It’s okay, the banks are just going to “defer” their bonuses, so double bonuses for everyone next year!”
    Double Secret bonuses, also. Who even knows wtf goes on under the table?

  23. Larry McAwful

    [re=448992]Servo[/re]: Personally, my favorite was Nikos’ Gyros, but I don’t think they’re around anymore. I haven’t spent much time in downtown Pittsburgh for years. I’ve been to the “O,” but fries in gravy don’t hold the same appeal anymore. I don’t know if that’s still around, either.

    I’ve never heard of Rudy’s, but next time I’m out that way (whenever that is–maybe this summer) I’ll have to look for it. I am so tuned out from Oakland anymore.

  24. Strongy O'

    [re=448921]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Oh yeah I know that name-y thing, but I kind of prefer the abbreviated version.

  25. Servo

    [re=449002]Larry McAwful[/re]:
    There’s one in Monroeville on 22. Also on 22 in Wilkins is Carl’s Tavern. Best burgers and wings.

  26. donner_froh

    [re=448907]President Beeblebrox[/re]: No kidding. The is one of the best/worst examples ever of”if not this then the other thing, unless something else happens, so whoever wins what we will have shown how it is/isn’t part of a trend”.

  27. MMS

    Y’all just going to let this slide?

    “Kim is increasingly creaming off a significant slice of Chinese mineral revenue to fund his nuclear program and to buy the loyalty of elites…”

  28. lawrenceofthedesert

    Indeed, RBS is the world’s largest bank — and has had the biggest decline in its stock price over the last year of any major bank: 91 percent. Of course, Lehman Bros. beat that by 9 percent, ahem, but still…

  29. proudgrampa

    [re=449065]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Gosh, I didn’t know Asian Economics could be so – pornographic…

  30. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=448973]Servo[/re]: [re=448939]Prommie[/re]: Being a westcoaster, with no access to authentic Philly cheesesteaks, I made one at home the other day from a recipe I found online. Some sautèd mushrooms and onions with steak strips, plopped on kaiser roll with melted gorgonzola broiled on top – and it was delish.

    I must have gone wrong somewhere.

  31. DemmeFatale

    [re=449104]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Where’s the Cheese Whiz and fatty strips of horsemeat? Freshly sauteed mushrooms and onions?!

    Oh…I know…you forgot the racists and bitters.

  32. proudgrampa

    [re=449104]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Really, Lascaux, do you think they’re going to use GORGONZOLA in Philly? Come on!

Comments are closed.