Ain't it hard when you discovered that, he wasn't really where it's at, after he took from you everything he could steal?
Ah, Sturgis … it’s like the “Gathering of the Juggalos” for middle-aged people who saved up enough for a Gold Wing! And the $100-million McCain family just adores acting like they love this dumb populist cretin crap, because, after all, the McCains have those riches only because Cindy’s dad actually worked for a living, selling Budweiser to guys with choppers, in Arizona. It’s circular!

You’ll recall that last year, during the presidential campaign, John McCain offered up Cindy to the drunken, leering crowd of filthy bikers. And Cindy just, well, she just looked uncomfortable as all hell, because, really, should a real-life heiress be thrown to the dogs like that, by her supposed husband? To this day, Cindy still doesn’t really think anything is funny.

Anyway …. Our favorite “oh dear god is she still around?” twitterer, First Daughter, First Gang Rape by Bikers at Sturgis romance novelist Meg “McCain” McCabe, has apparently left her elderly parents’ estate in Sedona and is now offering herself up to the dirtiest of the dirty Sturgis dudes. She is hoping to become some special person’s “Old Lady,” and by “run away with you” she might mean anything, such as “run after you crying hysterically while you noisily ride away on your motorized cycle,” or “weep in the woods, surrounded by Bud cans and cigarette butts and Taco Bell wrappers, in the night.”

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  1. Oh to be a fly on the wall when America’s favorite debutant dilettante brings home her new beau from Sturgis.

    Gas, grass or ass sweetie, nobody rides for free

  2. i want to fuck a harvard mba so bad. instead i fucked a university of maine mba because of the in-state tuition issue. rich girls…. sheesh! plus that diploma paper gave me a rash. megan is the paris hilton of degree fuckers.

  3. One of Megan’s porntastic nightcam pajama twitpics has this comment: “I love you! I love being a Republican, all the way! =)” Republicans cannot flirt worth shit. even on the internet.

  4. Of all the words I regret shouting in my youth, “Fuck Harvard MBAs” counts at the top. And I didn’t have a beer trust to fall back on.

  5. Wait, in the previous twit, Meghan says “Sturgis has not helped my attraction for all things (men) inked up and dirty…” Is she contradicting herself? What is she even trying to say?

  6. I am not pierced, nor sleeved, but I do have a SuicideGirls account — & apparently, there is a portal to “SuicideBoys”, at that site — so Meghan & I could flick our beans to SG pics, with the SB ones for her, I suppose, then make the beast of two backs.

  7. yes I know you went to the finest schools
    all right MR. Lonely but you only got
    JUICED in them
    nobody ever taught you how to live out on the street
    and you thought they were just
    KIDDIN you
    you used to laugh about
    everbody that was hangin out
    now you don’t feel so fine
    threw the folks a dime in yer prime
    DO YOU????

  8. Ya, it’s always the same old same old. The rich want to play in the dirt with the unwashed masses for a few minutes. Then go home and take a shower.

  9. Yes, Megan go marry one of them, get disinherited, and report back in a month how you like living like the little people without Mom’s American Express card.

  10. So she wants to run away with a tattooed biker. It’s good that she’s going through all the developmental phases of adolescence — even if they’re ten years late.

  11. fuck harvard MBA’s, show me your nipple ring, harley and arm sleeves of tattoos and I will run away with you — Maybe this is some kind of secret FEMA code alerting the FEMA thugs across the country to start setting up the camps…

  12. Leave her alone, she’s probably just captivated the sexy scene in Hell’s Angels, you know how gals are with romantic imagery: “I keep a crumbled yellow note from that night; not all of the writing is decipherable, but some of it reads like this: ‘Pretty girl about twenty-five lying on wooden floor, two or three on her all the time, one kneeling between her legs, one sitting on her face and somebody else holding her feet…teeth and tongues and public hair, dim light in a wooden shack, sweat and semen gleaming on her thighs and stomach, red and white dress pushed up around her chest…people standing around yelling, wearing no pants, waiting first second or third turns…girl jerking and moaning, not fighting, seems drunk, incoherent, not knowing, drowning…'”

  13. On an unrelated note, watching Matthews, with Kathleen Parker:

    CM: “Is Sarah Palin a poster girl for racism? Yes or No”
    KP: “Not consciously…”

    Oh boy, laissez le bon temps rouler. The MSNBC server is about to crash with psycho, Palin-twitter-deprived minions.

  14. Is it any surprise that having been around Republican climber schmucks all her life she might want something different? Is that so god-damned awful? Is it her fault that she doesn’t want to act like a stuck up heiress or Republican robot?

  15. [re=379506]EnBuenOra[/re]: Not her fault, but if she’s so interested just do it, don’t twit about it. It makes her seem, how would one say, vacuous?

    If she’s smart (scary I know), she’ll do it and then write about it. Who wouldn’t read ‘Megan M.: Hogging with the Bikers’?

  16. [re=379512]DoctorCulturae[/re]: She already wrote a kid’s book about her old man, now she wants to do a follow-up about her ‘old man’.

  17. Great! Let’s “hook” her up with a bunch of convicts that may-or-may-not have std. That would fulfill all her needs. Then we MBA folks can go back to repairing the economy that her rich daddy’s friends screwed up…

  18. Ahem. Remember last week when she lost her self esteem after Ken made fun of her for trying to save the suicide dude. Well, a certain commenter whose first name is “Don” suggested she go to Sturgis to find herself again.
    You’re welcome, Meghan.

  19. It’s kinda sad, cuz I know the perfect guy for her. Someone who’d be good for her, in the nicest sense. I have no idea how to introduce her to him.

  20. [re=379538]Bearbloke[/re]: Dunno, I can’t imagine sitting in a belltower reloading shotguns for some dude is Megalump’s idea of a romantic first date…

  21. [re=379538]Bearbloke[/re]: “Jesus paid for our sins.” So that’s how they rationalize it. Shooting up dozens of people or supporting an illegal war , it doesn’t matter. It’s done and paid for! We’re all going to heaven!!

  22. [re=379506]EnBuenOra[/re]: I’m with you, though we still get to make fun of her for SCREAMING IT TO THE WORLD AT LARGE.

    Megan, just because you are not a dysfunctional, trashy biker slut doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to get fucked like one. We all hope (snicker) that you find an otherwise nice Republican boy (chortle) to help you with this (HAHAHAHA).

    P.S. Send pics to

  23. Someone please wake me up. Seriously…did I read that right? If I’m not dreaming, please tell me I read it wrong…did the daughter of a man who would have been president actually say SHE WANTED TO LICK A FUCKING CHOPPER?!

  24. Erik Prince ERIK PRINCE ErIk PrInCe E R I K P R I N C E erik prince Erik Prince ERIK PRINCE ErIk PrInCe E R I K P R I N C E erik prince Erik Prince ERIK PRINCE ErIk PrInCe E R I K P R I N C E erik prince Erik Prince ERIK PRINCE ErIk PrInCe E R I K P R I N C E erik prince Erik Prince ERIK PRINCE ErIk PrInCe E R I K P R I N C E erik prince Erik Prince ERIK PRINCE ErIk PrInCe E R I K P R I N C E erik prince DAMN IT

  25. C’mon, people. Develop some empathy! She’s like a caged bird, a chastity-belted virgin, the eldest ugly daughter dragging the dowry around like a fuckin’ anchor. Poor Meg. She simply needs to give up the Republican shackles, stop shaving her legs and pits, and hit the cafes of a some artsy enclave on either the left or right coasts. Fuck the middle; they’re nutz.

    Personal invite: Meg, dear, pack up and come to Massachusetts. You can find plenty of, um, affection in the Northhampton/Amherst environs so long as you don’t let on who your father is and you let go of the Republican neurosis that has you so bound up you won’t let your right hand south of your waist. Orgasm is real, honey, not just a rumor.

  26. Ah, Sturgis. The owner of my local Harley dealer was on his way to Sturgis, tried passing a left-turning truck in Wyoming, without a helmet, and failed.

    And then at his funeral, six motorcycle cops managed to run into each other and get injured.

    Motorcycles truly are natural selection at its finest.

  27. [re=379523]Alex Trebeks Girl[/re]:Someone has to fix the problem, are you going to let a bunch of bush cronies do it – or – someone who has actually studied finance. My point is that Megan McCain is the definition of a wannabe.

  28. He’s got his arm around every man’s dream
    Crumbs in his beard from the seafood special
    Oh, can’t you see my world is fallin’ apart?
    Meghan, please, leave the biker, leave the biker, break his heart….

  29. [re=379574]eclecticbrotha[/re]: Dude, you wouldn’t know how to begin life without your daddy’s connections; so stick that in your mouth.

  30. [re=379579]Ohio Wonkette Fan[/re]: I will not only let bush cronies do it! But I will celebrate as they fuck it up over and over again, and then call it delayed legacy and appreciation by the public. In 30 years, the history books will cast a positive light on the Bush administration. You jest wait n see.

  31. Too bad Meggie’s age disqualifies an appearance on My Super Sweet 16. A Sturgis theme would be awesome. I’m sure Duff has the blueprints for a Show Us Your (Tattooed) Tits cake in the back room of Charm City Cakes. The whole family could ride in on solid gold Harleys, Meg with a diamond tiara, of course. Special appearance by Aerosmith!

  32. I just had a little revelation, and would like to make an apology. Meghan McCain, it occurred to me, is a gay-friendly, sexually active (so she says) wonky Republican daughter of a crypto-Medievalist half-insane, overcompensating son-of-an-admiral-who-was-the-son-of-an-admiral and the brittle, unloved daughter of a ferociously tyrannical beer magnate who left her with billions and the congenital inability to enjoy any of it.

    The apology is because it’s not usually my practice to make fun of people who are already in hell. But hey, you’re twittering about it, so I’m on the fence. And given the circumstances I’m sort of rooting for Meghan. And when she finally decides she’s not a Republican anymore, I will send her a dozen roses. Not as an advance or anything, just as a sign of appreciation. Those lavender-colored tea roses are my favorite — they’re delicious.

  33. [re=379568]Guppy06[/re]: While undoubtedly tragic, that is nevertheless an awesome story.

    Feel free to ride your motorcycles, people, but I will never understand how its benefits outweigh…that. Of course I harbor the same reservations and have the same question about about tackle football. Why?

  34. [re=379586]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I was watching the news with a neighbor when a story came on about someone who had died in a “freak motorcycle accident.” I maintained that there is no such thing, in the same way that there is no such thing as a freak skydiving accident. When you’re doing something that’s inherently much riskier than normal behavior, it’s not freakish when an accident happens.

    And you know how whenever someone dies in a skydiving accident they always say he died doing what he loved? How come nobody said that about David Carradine? I mean, there was a motherfucker who died doing what he loved. And yet his loved ones ignore that. It’s inexplicable.

  35. [re=379588]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “And you know how whenever someone dies in a skydiving accident they always say he died doing what he loved? How come nobody said that about David Carradine?”

    I wondered the same thing about the mercenaries in Fallujah.

  36. [re=379582]Alex Trebeks Girl[/re]: The thing I wonder about is when the economic bus was headed for the ditch at ninety miles an hour, our dear leader at the wheel, the Harvard MBAs were in the front row of said bus, chanting “fuck the bills, lay out another line”…so what the hell good are they?
    On the subject our Megs, boinking young, physically powerful, inked up man meat is the right of every red blooded American woman, God bless them both and remember, no glove, no love.

  37. This was my favorite:


    Megs, the only people who would read that and not laugh at you are wingnuts, and most of the wingnuts are eighty years old and live in the rural South. So if you still can’t get laid, honestly, I’m losing all sympathy. But please try not to take out your frustration by shooting anyone.

  38. The last big biker get-together I blundered into was at Daytona. What struck me the most about that event was the way the sun glinted off of about fifty acres of grey hair in the parking lot of the race track. Really striking. So Meg has father issues?

  39. Ooh…So edgy… Meg is cutting edge, “street” -not “elite”. So – is she even at/going to Sturgis, or is she just another right-wing cock-tease? I want proof that she is actually there…. and a tape of her actually saying what she twatted out loud – to real bikers, with real sleeves and real nipple rings…

  40. She isn’t worth her previous market value at this point, so all of us should be careful about the investment given into her Daily Beast thing (she is more of a useless heifer).

    [re=379599]Mr Blifil[re]: You will never be an anchor on National Tee Vee with that sort of language— but you will by-golly make the most important pundit position available, forever. I HOPE they take that on. YOU NEAFER NO WUT THAT LIBREL MEEDEEA WILL DREW NEX.

  41. Post-Sturgis life manifesto, Meggers is now conversing with young A-A pharmacy student from Shitkicker, OK about the vagaries of a CafePress store highjacking Dada’s failed 2008 campaign livery for First Daughter for POTUS in 2020. And then promotes another trust funder chica’s 30% sale of EVERYTHING at BFF’s Scottsdale, AyZee boutique.

    Has the NeuSymbionese Liberation Army reactivated yet, because I see a bright, shiny new recruit, gravid and ripe, just waiting to be plucked from the vine…

  42. [re=379585]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m with you about 99% on Meg, but anyone that puts themselves out their is a target for ridicule. It’s the thing that make-a-da blogosphere go round, and it goes for liberals, who we are just as cruel to when they do or say something silly/stupid/inane.

    Yeah, but the part about the flowers when she’s been converted; yeah, I’m totally down with that.

  43. I haven’t even read any of the comments from this post, but I can guarantee that there are a ridiculous amount of horribly misogynistic comments. Now, normally I wouldn’t give much of a shit, but the commentoritti on this site seem to believe that they are justified in making disgusting comments about Meghan McCain.

    I usually find this site hilarious and the comments to be witty, however, when it comes to Ms. McCain, I usually find the comments distasteful and embarrassing.

    After I submit this, I’ll read over the comments. I hope I’m wrong.

  44. I like to consider myself an expert on Meghan McCain, but you have certainly found room for a wild amount of links in a post. Beyond that, can we all not agree that Meghan McCain is The Universe’s greatest American ever, ever???? Also, why aren’t we bombing more countries more? WTF AMIRITE????????????/???

  45. I have loads of tattoos, and a Moto Guzzi V11 Sport, which is not as noisy as a Harley but significantly faster. No nipple ring though. So I guess my yearning for the fair Meg McC is destined to remain unconsumated. Oh and I went to Sturgis once. I had to leave halfway through the second day. It was unbelievably lame. Spring break – Daytona beach – but with fat middle aged fucks lame.

  46. [re=379643]SpecialHorse[/re]: You have got to be kidding me. I think she is a disgusting media whore- with nothing except a rich mom and a famous dad as her reason for being in the spotlight. She writes this kind of public crap and you think we hate women? How is being Pres of the “Young” Republicans working out for you so far?

  47. New hot-in-love couple Sarah Palin and Larry Craig rolled into Sturgis late Wednesday night on some new, shiny Harleys, and they were an immediate hit at The Buffalo Chip. Craig took tons of pictures of some bare-chested women, Palin was wearing a sexy leopard-skin halter top and short shorts, and they even cranked out some mean versions of “Ten Seconds To Love” and “Shout at the Devil” at the Biker Kareoke Contest at The Whild Hoggs bar. Palin and Craig told folks that they listened to a lot of Motley Crue during their ride from Iowa to Sturgis. They said that they’re heading to Burning Man next, where they’ll host a Bikers and Politicians Community at the annual bohemian arts gathering in the desert.

  48. [re=379645]SpecialHorse[/re]: I don’t think it’s fair to call us misogynistic for talkin bout how wacky them horny dames is when responding to a tweet about how bad Meg needs some cock. If she had been discussing health care or tax policy then it would be uncalled for, but she’s literally begging for a dirty biker to have his way with her.

  49. [re=379588]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

    In fact, that was the first thing I said. I also wondered if his friends and family were shocked or if they thought, well it was bound to happen someday, i warned him.

  50. [re=379586]hobospacejunkie[/re]: The death…

    And the funeral clusterfuck

    And I think one of his kids already used the “died doing what he loved,” which means he apparently loved being an asshat that cuts off trucks because, hey, he’s on a motorcycle!

  51. Meagans first bar experience was probably the “Spirit Room” In Jerome, Az. This is the coolest bar, a biker bar a few miles from the Sedona estate of McCain. I bet she snuck out on week ends & stole her daddys pick up truck for a night on the town.

  52. Oh rich girls and their “common people” fantasies. Courtesy of the awesome Pulp:

    She said, I want to live like common people
    I want to do whatever common people do, I want to sleep with common people
    I want to sleep with common people like you.
    Well what else could I do – I said I’ll see what I can do.
    I took her to a supermarket
    I don’t know why but I had to start it somewhere, so it started there.
    I said pretend you’ve got no money, she just laughed and said oh you’re so funny.
    I said yeah? Well I can’t see anyone else smiling in here.
    Are you sure you want to live like common people
    You want to see whatever common people see
    You want to sleep with common people,
    you want to sleep with common people like me.
    But she didn’t understand, she just smiled and held my hand.
    Rent a flat above a shop, cut your hair and get a job.
    Smoke some fags and play some pool, pretend you never went to school.
    But still you’ll never get it right
    ‘cos when you’re laid in bed at night watching roaches climb the wall
    If you call your Dad he could stop it all.
    You’ll never live like common people
    You’ll never do what common people do
    You’ll never fail like common people
    You’ll never watch your life slide out of view, and dance and drink and screw
    Because there’s nothing else to do.

  53. I believe that if she smokes enough crank, there will be no crying in the woods after the bikers have given Ms. McCain what she asked for. Just a tip, Megan. It makes it hurt so GOOD.

  54. ‘Arm Sleeves of Tattoos’ — that’s some awkward phrasing, especially given that it’s about 1/2 her tweet space…

    She should have simply described these men as ‘Sleeved’.

    ‘Sleeves’,’Sleeve Tattoos’ or even ‘Tattoo Sleeves’ would have perhaps been acceptable but ‘Arm Sleeve of Tattoos’ is poor not only because of its misuse of tattoo terminology but because while the term ‘leg sleeve’ does exist a sleeve of anything by definition goes on the arm.

    I suspect the poor word choice here will prevent the writer from getting her wish. Now the bikers will merely mock her, not carry her off to become ‘old lady’ of their savagely handsome chief.

  55. [re=379585]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You, sir, appear to have a smart, dirty mind and a compassionate soul. I would ran away with you (if saying so won’t get me banned, in which case yeah, I hope Meghan gets fucked by bikers until she can’t walk for days).

  56. i’m sleeved, pierced, ride a harley & a dyke top. i also get called sir alot and get stopped using the ladies room. do i count megs????? do i????

  57. Uh oh, looks like Meghan killed Twitter. It’s been under a DDoS attack most of the day, no doubt due to her biker “friends.” I’m not sure why, exactly, but those guys are such crazy outlaws, anything’s possible.

  58. “Fuck Harvard MBA’s” is actually a trenchant comment on how George W Bush scotched her dad’s chances in last year’s election.

    “I will run away with you” translates as McCain (fille) / Wurzelbacher 2012!

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