Slate! That’s technically a magazine. Yes, yes, magazine by a hair. Okay, here we go, let’s take a look at which articles this week everyone will be referencing in conversation as if they did not just about read these things in Slate. As in: Q: “Oh, did you know so-and-so fun fact about so-and-so marginal aspect of bee-keeping or children’s literature or the economy of Idaho or whatever?” A: “Yes, yes. In fact, bee-keeping or children’s literature or the economy of Idaho is currently experiencing this sort of trend and here is an unconventional rationale regarding why everything will eventually be fine!” Knowledge!
“Wash hands before leaving office.”: Here is the famous Slate take on a recent event, specifically Obama’s weird turn towards cold shilling for handsoap companies because what the hell—Obama is a doctor now? Do they even teach non-social sciences at UChicago—Honolulu? John Dickerson sympathizes with Jake Tapper by noting that Obama didn’t answer Tapper’s question about torture, despite Tapper obnoxiously repeating it. Dickerson gives Obama extra credit for knowing his Churchill, and using something the guy said about the London Air Strike to slyly condemn Dick Cheney for personally torturing Sean Hannity. Good for you, Obama. Dickerson was most impressed, however, with Obama’s artful shout-out to the Troops, by whom, you’ll recall, he was forced to admit to being enchanted. [Wash hands before leaving office.]
“Obama’s Florida Problem.”: ‘Nother one from John Dickerson, this time about how how the entire state of Florida, especially the Democrats, absolutely despises Charlie Crist and all their very legitimate reasons for doing so. Uh, but wait just a leathery homosexual second there. Isn’t Obama in charge of Florida’s Democrats? The very same Floridian Democrats OKing mean tevee commercials directed against the aforementioned Mr. Crist? And isn’t Obama also sort of friendly with Crist? Or, at the least, isn’t Obama supposed to a “post-bitchy tevee commercial Democrat”? Yes, yes, yes I said yes I will yes. ERGO: “Obama’s Florida Problem.” [Obama's Florida Problem]
“Swine Flu: What You Need to Know”: Just throwing this quickly out there, here’s a continually updated list of things dealing with our most imaginary national emergency. The more you know! [Swine Flu: What You Need to Know]
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“Wait just a leathery homosexual second there” is one of the best things I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading on this website.
Slate: Wash your hands. This are a clean slate. Keep your dirty hands off of it.
Didn’t spend too much time copy editing this post, huh?
Sheeples! Cantor is the new God of the crazy party(today anyway)! He announced “The New American Committee” today to start a grassroots effort to combat “Liberalism”. I thought their God was Santelli? Limbaugh? Who will it be tomorrow! Stay tuned! Palin/Cantor(Santelli, Limbaugh, Bachman) 2012!
Slate: it’s what for podcast!
“Dick Cheney [...] personally torturing Sean Hannity.”
Juli, are you trying to turn me on?
As much as we give grief to poor closeted Republican Crist, if he went turncoat like Arlen, I think I would grow to like the guy. And even more if he came out.
And here I thought Slate might be getting more substance than the last time I checked (about a month ago) only to find out that Juli’s reviewing two John Dickerson articles and then an anthology of previous posts relating to swine flu (no, I will not say “listicle.” Totally ridiculous and unnecessary.) Hell, I only read the questions to Dear Prudence now and not her cloying replies.
Anyway, Dickerson’s good and Jack Shaffer is good and that’s still about it. Slate should combine with HuffPo and have one big zine that’s about vapid celebrity nonsense and one tiny adjunct that’s about real news.
Oh, and kudos on the Joyce reference (if that’s what it is — I could just be turning illiterate).
For some reason I couldn’t check Doonesbury today there. Although it’s an ‘flashback’ all this week.
[re=305387]Bruno[/re]: Sometimes when I see his photo I’m sure I met him one time at the Anvil, or maybe the Ramrod.Back in the day.Also
It’s especially important to wash your hands after checking your tire pressure and before eating swine.
[re=305391]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Molly’s a favorite with the young women of Wonkette.
Obama’s solution to terrorism and pig flu!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-long-strange-100-day-trip-its-been.html
[re=305421]AxmxZ[/re]: [re=305391]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes, that’s because they’re all un(der)employed English majors. I know–used to be one myself. Ken, on the other hand majored in psychedelics and got the Ph.D. in snark.
[re=305391]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=305421]AxmxZ[/re]: The phrase “young women of Wonkette” in conjuction with Molly’s masturbating is pretty hot. Scuse me, I gotta go tweet!
i hate slate more than wonkette. deep on the surface.
[re=305498]allainjules[/re]: Et allors, pur voir S Williams (nue) quel est le mot de passe?
You should have made fun of Fred Kaplan, too…
oh, wait, he makes sense.
Never mind.
[re=305511]x111e7thst[/re]: pour voir.
Obama doesn’t have a Florida problem. Florida has a Florida problem.
You forgot to make fun of Slate for its well-known bias toward being pointlessly contrarian.
“Why Up is the New Down.”
“Why the Sky Shouldn’t Really Be Blue.”
“Everything You Know About Politics is The Opposite.”
Oh, nuts, I come to Wonkette to get away from Slate.
[re=305352]Joehoya[/re]: Copyediting schopyediting! This post was hilarious. Good job intern Juli. If I ran a writing-related business, I’d hire you faster than the Pig Flu flies up Biden’s nostricles in a sickly-ridden T ride into town.
[re=305779]bright virago[/re]: I knew it! Your conspicuous use of also’s gave it away. I check in at BOTF most days to make sure it still sucks. But a handful of good and reasonably sane posters there, yourself included, so people rarely leave for very long. (Pissenlit here. I don’t say much here, either.)
[re=305885]lada_sue[/re]: shhh…..no one knows I’m here.
[re=306538]bright virago[/re]: Well, okay. But only if you won’t tell everyone that I’m really a dude.
But their Facebook version of Obama’s first 100 days was pretty brilliant, you have to admit.
Why do I get the feeling that by reviewing Slate, this is a way to avoid paying $4 for a ‘real magazine’?
(I would make the same decision by the way)
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