Everybody With Spare Obama Tickets Is Getting So Laid

If you've got a spare ticket to Obama's Election Night Party in Chicago, you are going to get more ass than a toilet seat. Possibly attractive people are offering full access to all their various orifices to any creep with the special currency of Tuesday Night at Grant Park. Join us for a lecherous tour of Chicago Craigslist offers and demands.

•  Free Obama Ticket:  Im looking for a big beautiful Nubian Princess to join me to the rally on Tues. We can meet before hand if you would like.

• I have an extra ticket to the Obama rally and am looking for someone who'd like to go with me for free. I will be awarding this ticket strictly on looks and welcome all women to reply to this ad. I am a normal guy who is just looking to have a good time with a beautiful woman. Please reply to the ad with a current picture of yourself with your beauty on display. Nudes are ok. REQUESTS WITHOUT PICTURES WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED!

• I have two tickets on will call, if you want them show me what you got. Best sender gets the tickets. webcam offerings go to front of line. 

• I have an extra ticket to the best party in America Tuesday evening! Let me know how much you want to be there! 

• Looking for a fellow Obama supporter who has a ticket to the rally Tuesday. I want to go, hang out, have a drink and have fun. This pic is current. I will verify by cell and work phone.

• Hey, I managed to score an Obama rally invite and I can bring one person with me. I'll accept offers until mid-Sunday ... unless you want to make me an offer I can't refuse, in which case I'll hold the spot for you earlier. : ) -- Heather

• I am not looking for a bundle of cash but I am curious. What are you willing to part with in exchange ...send me your offers...

• Hi, I heard Ben Hawk on NPR and I have a free ticket to the Obama Rally in Grant Park for him! If you are Ben Hawk, please contact me! -Jill

• I am looking for a cute girl to use my guest spot. I love pictures! No money required. History date!

• Looking for a super hot chick to be my date to the Obama event. I have no problem pulling hot girls in general so since I have Obama tickets you have to be not just hot but like super model hot, or if you look like Eva Longoria. Wanna be my date to Obama?

• I tried to get a ticket to the election night party but got wait-listed. If you have a ticket you get to bring a guest, why not bring me? I've actually been thinking about otherwise putting an ad on craig's list because I've also looking to meet someone to spend some casual time with (not the same thing as a casual hookup/one night stand, sorry). I'm a cute, slender, 5'7" brunette. I'm a history student and a cellist. I'm intellectual and very political. So let's spend our first date at this historic event! [This one sounds like a winner! -- Ed.]
  
  

And a lot of people are just trying to sell their free tickets, which has made at least one Obamatardvery angry:  

I could not possibly be more disgusted with my fellow human beings and Chicagoans than I am right now.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

In good faith, you were given the opportunity to come together in (hopefully) celebration of a new era of hope in America, and the first thought to cross your polluted mind was "How can I convert this good will into cash/ass/drugs?"

YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

Yes, yes ... I know. "Capitalism!" you'll say. "Supply and Demand!" you'll stammer. The truth is, these are the same weak arguments and excuses that have lead our nation to the verge of collapse.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING.

True change will require each of us to take responsibility, to stop making the same mistakes, and to selflessly commit ourselves to working towards a better America. Senator Obama is only one man, and he would be the first to tell you that he cannot fix our nation on his own.

Real change will require each of us to choose a departure from the greed and selfishness of the past. These ticket sales, misguided profiteers, are an awful beginning.

YOU SHOULD REMOVE YOUR POSTINGS AND GIVE YOUR GUEST TICKETS AWAY.