The Right's Top Minds Have Some 'Theories' About What Is 'Really' Going On With Putin And Russia

Of course they do.

If you are a person who has somehow maintained their optimistic view of humanity over the last six or so years, you may have thought to yourself this week, "Boy, it's going to be really awkward right now for all of those conservatives who have been swooning over Putin these last few years! Won't there be egg on their faces! And golly, even if they don't walk it back, surely 'the people' will punish them for this in some capacity!"

If you are anything like me, however, you are probably pretty sure that absolutely none of that will happen. And you would be right. For instance, former GOP Senate candidate, QAnon followe,r and flat-earther Lauren Witzke was more than happy to talk about how she actually identified more with Vladimir Putin than with President Joe Biden because of how Putin is a Christian (nope) nationalist (yes) who just really cares about his people.

Lauren Witzke, the Delaware GOP's candidate for Senate in 2020, has nothing but praise for Putin and "his Christian nationalist nation": "I identify more with Putin's Christian values than I do with Joe Biden."pic.twitter.com/oQ2nhlVGCR

— Right Wing Watch (@Right Wing Watch) 1645732771 

Steve Bannon was also full of Praise for Putin and Russia, arguing that the US should actually support Putin because of how horrible he is to LGBTQ people. 

Steve Bannon and Erik Prince say we should be supporting Russia because Putin is anti-woke and has no tolerance for LGBTQ.pic.twitter.com/qzHl2TkwxJ

— Ron Filipkowski (@Ron Filipkowski) 1645663103 

Bannon and guest Erik Prince gushed over how there are only two genders in Russia — which is actually not even true historically  — and how there are no rainbow flags or rainbows anywhere in Russia.

Actual footage of Steve Bannon and the rainbow that hurt him 

And then there is Patel Patriot. And honestly, I think he's got a winner. He has really, really thought about this one.

Patel Patriot is a conspiracy theorist who, although beloved by QAnon people, claims to have never actually read any of Q's missives for himself. Nevertheless, he has shot to Telegram stardom by advancing a theory not entirely dissimilar from "The Storm" called "Devolution." While "devolution" is a real thing in and of itself — like what the UK did with giving Northern Ireland and Scotland and Wales the right to self-govern in the 1980s — the imaginary devolution Patel Patriot speaks of is a weird ass theory wherein Trump never actually stopped being president, and actually the military is in charge now but they are letting Biden pretend he is president, for reasons.

Here is a summary of what Patel Patriot thinks happened, as per his own Substack. 

• Trump prepares for election theft

• China colludes with Democrats to steal election

• Trump “caught them all” and prepares his countermove

• Massive personnel moves at DoD and pentagon to place Trump allies in key roles

• Implementation of what appears to be a Devolution plan for our Spec Ops

• Refusing to tell incoming Dems about said Spec Ops

• Checkmate

At some point, after something is figured out, all of the states that wrongly certified their elections will decertify and then Trump will just waltz right back into the presidency.

Unsurprisingly, Patel Patriot and others think that Putin's invasion of Ukraine is a part of this whole scenario. He wrote up his theory on Telegram on Thursday:  

First think about what Ukraine is – It’s the epicenter of corruption for the political establishment. Victor Pinchuk, George Soros, Ihor Kolomoisky… All funding “deep state” agendas worldwide, all based out of Ukraine. We know their ties to the Clinton foundation and liberal politics in America.

If Trump was going to truly drain the swamp, he would have to tackle the corruption in Ukraine. The oligarchs have funded their own militaries in previous color revolutions. Trump could wouldn’t be able to take them down without a fight. So if Trump is going to clean up Ukraine he would likely need boots on the ground to do it.

Enter Putin.

It’s no secret that Putin hates Soros as he banned him from Russia long ago, and it’s also no secret that Putin despised the “deep state” tactics of implementing color revolutions to overthrow pro-Russian leaders and install ones that would play ball with the “deep state”. It’s speculated by many that Putin could be working with Trump in the fight against the “deep state” and it’s hard to argue with. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

So think of the brilliance that might be taking place right now.

Boots on the ground were likely necessary to fully remove the problem in Ukraine, but Trump couldn’t invade Ukraine with US troops. Somebody else would have to do it. However, if somebody like Putin were to do it while Trump was president, it would make Trump look week and the media would have a field day.

What better time to clean up the mess in Ukraine than with Biden in office? Kills two birds with one invasion. You make the Biden administration and the MSM look like fools, while taking on the “deep state” in one of the most corrupt countries on the planet.

Putin is simultaneously helping Trump to serve up red-pills while fixing a problem that actually benefits the USA and the rest of the world – the denazification of Ukraine.

We won’t have any definitive answers until this blows over but make sure you guys are using the 24 – hour rule with news reports coming out about this stuff.

Well, it all makes sense now, doesn't it! Putin is just helping us!

An article from a particularly bonkers-seeming site called U.S.S.A News has also been making the rounds in these circles — putting forth the theory that "Putin did nothing wrong" because actually Ukraine isn't even a real country and "basically, now all Russia has to do is declare that this area is Russian and that everything that happens in this area is an internal matter of Russia."

Another favorite of mine, which I happened to come across in the Great Awakening forum is that all of this is just meant to distract people from the news of a national vaccine pass rollout, which was written about in Forbes yesterday, where no one will ever find it.

Of course, it's only been about two days, so this is very likely just the tip of the iceberg in terms of what they will all be coming up with. Surely, within a week, it will turn out that Putin is actually liberating mole children from Ukraine as part of Trump's global war on deep state Satanic pedophiles.

 Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!