White House Wishes Everyone Would Be Good Christians Just Like Donald Trump

If you believe Donald Trump is a man of faith, you'll believe anything.

Sniveling Piss Wipe Tom Cotton Gonna Call The Cops On Your Nana For SAYING WORDS TO HIM

LOL OMG this is so fucking pathetic, we can't stop laughing.

Trumpland Appoints 24-Year-Old Frat Bro To Solve Opioid Crisis. All Better Now?

Good news, America! Some kid named Taylor is gonna, like, solve our drug problem.
Come get your Free Pot, Hippie Takers!

Nice Time! California Got Criminal Justice Reform In Your Legal Weed!

This is the smart way to decriminalize marijuana: Retroactively.

Trump Judge Draws Line At Sending Mexicans DIRECTLY TO GET BEHEADED BY CARTELS

It's hardly a roadblock to the New Cruelty, but any good news is still good news.

Robert Mueller Following The Money All The Way Up Russia’s Dirty, Dirty Ass

MONEY LAUNDERING SAY WHAT?

Compassionate Republicans Horrified At Cruel Dems For Killing CHIP

Oh, look! Republicans suddenly care about CHIP funding!

DOJ Cooks Up Racist Bullshit Burger To Prove All Foreigns Are Terrorists

There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. Then there's this report, which is racist nonsense.

Here’s What The Fuck Is Going On With Steve Bannon And Robert Mueller

Rachel Maddow figured it out. Rachel Maddow ALWAYS figures it out.

President Good Brain Sat Down With Reuters, Showed ‘Em Which One Is ‘Camel’

So glad we settled the question of whether Trump has dementia or not!

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Shut Down A Government? Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 18, 2018

Steve Bannon is squealing, Donald Trump runs from the treadmill to the campaign trail, and the NYTimes surrenders its op-ed page to Trump supporters. Your morning news brief.

Seven Things To Think About That Are NOT Trump Comparing Porn Star He Banged To His Daughter Ivanka

Grossed out by the very idea? We'll soon get those images out of your head!

Lindsey Graham And Donald Trump Are ON A BREAK!

Lindsey Graham gonna teach that philandering Donald Trump a lesson, yes siree.

Trump Letting Employers Grab Women’s … Money. Whew, Just Their Money! What A Relief!

It's almost breathtaking the number of ways the Trumpers have come up with to screw workers. Who'll keep voting for Trump.

Is Donald Trump Crossing His Fingers For His Very Own 9/11? Maaaybe!

What about a Reichstag Fire? Or a Moscow Apartment Bombing? Would Trump like one of those?

National Parks Advisors Tell Ryan Zinke To Take Their Job And Shove It

Ryan Zinke is all about 'local input.' Unless it's from a bunch of damn hippie nature lovers.

Republican Lady Explains Good Fathers Stop Gun Crime. RFK’s Son Chris Kennedy Says Go Fuck Yourself

Rep. Jeanne Ives, running against Kennedy for Illinois governor, steps in shit, twirls around, jumps in with both feet.

Eric Trump With Perfect Defense: Donald Trump Too Greedy To Be Racist!

SHUT UP, WONKETTE, ERIC IS, LIKE, REALLY SMART!

Steve Bannon Too Busy Sucking Own Cock To Answer Trey Gowdy’s Questions

Very stable White House geniuses manage feat of pissing off Trey Gowdy and Devin Nunes. Please clap.

Obese And Balding Is The New Black. Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 17, 2018

Trump's a big, fat mess, Steve Bannon GOT SERVED...TWICE, and Republicans might just shut down the government (AGAIN). Your morning news brief.