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Nation’s Old Dads Furious ‘Little Punk’ Jared Kushner Asked Russians For Secret Spy Phone To Moscow

Nation's fathers do not care for that little fucking punk, thinks he's gonna beat the FBI!

Elijah Cummings Had Heart Surgery Today So We Made Him This Blingee

We are not a doctor but we hope this makes him feel better.

Jared Kushner: Smarmy Shark, Or Shithead With A Shiv? SPOILER IT IS BOTH

Turns out this Kushner guy is kind of a douche. Who'd have thunk it?

Ex-Playboy Bunny/Terrible Human Gets Community Service For Publicly Shaming Total Stranger

Except it can't be at schools, because the judge thinks she shouldn't be around children.

Tucker Carlson Sorry For Making Mean ‘Teen Vogue’ Lady More Famous Than Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson may not be the stepping-stone to fame he thinks he is, maybe.
A lot of very bad dudes

Montana Elects Punchy-Man Greg Gianforte, Wingnuts Celebrate First Amendment’s Demise

Welcome to the Beer Hall Riot phase of American politics.

HEY RICH BASTARDS: Trump Wants To Take Your Bimmer Away!

Donald Trump is such a fucking asshole.

Defense Attorney Tells Rape Victim Trump Will Deport Her If She Testifies. Defense Attorney Goes TO JAIL.

Christos Vasiliades suggested her husband beat him up instead.

Trump Hotels Can’t Figure Out Foreign Money, Because Math Is Hard

BREAKING NEWS: Trump Team was lying about a thing!!!!

Joe Lieberman. Door. Ass. Buh-Bye!

We won't have Joe Lieberman to kick around anymore, and Donald Trump won't have him to kick around at all.

Trump Pisses On US Allies Like Russian Pee Hookers. Wonkagenda for Fri. May 26, 2017

Trump alienates allies, Ted Cruz has money problems, and FCC is REALLY trying to screw with you. Your morning news brief.

Will Dem Rob Quist Body-Slam Greg Gianforte In Montana, WITH VOTES? Your Open Thread.

LIVE HAWT ELECTION RESULTS ALL NIGHT LONG, OH YEAH WONKETTE AFTER DARK!

The FBI Went To Jared!

Oh no, is Jared Kushner in TROUBLE???????

Hot French President Destroys Tiny Hands Trump With World’s Sexxxiest Handshake

Also did you see Trump shove that Montenegro prime minister guy? He shoved that Montenegro prime minister guy!

Rebecca Schoenkopf Is Prophet Like Tucker Carlson: A Story By Rebecca Schoen-I Mean Evan Hurst

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS THING WE FOUND ON THE DAILY CALLER?

Donald Trump’s Base Weak, Flaccid, Shriveled, If You Know What We Mean

Donald Trump may face a political cold shower as his base takes a dive.

Jason Chaffetz Starts Porn Vitamin Company, To Keep Porn Mormons Healthy And Strong

When you're not allowed to drink coffee or soda, but you've still got Mormon Porning to do!

Did James Comey Screw Hillary Because Of A Dumb Russian Spam Email? WHOA IF TRUE!

Hope he didn't send a million dollars to a Nigerian prince too, like GEEZ.

Hannity Going On Vacation To Farm Where He Can Run And Chase Chickens All Day Long

Is Sean Hannity headed for the Home For Retired Fox Hosts? Probably not. But one can hope.

Montana Sheriff To Ragemonster Republican Thug Greg Gianforte: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

What's a little aggravated assault between friends?

Betsy DeVos, Ben Carson Talked To Jesus, Confirm He Hates The Poor And The Sick!

Oh Ben Carson and Betsy DeVos, will you ever stop giving?