Hooray, our hero returns! Also, it's your OPEN THREAD!
Team Trump makes an obvious choice! Damn, that's pretty presidential, isn't it?
Jeff Sessions wants to arrest Julian Assange. That's good, we think! But on the other hand ...
How could Jason Chaffetz POSSIBLY have a secret scandal, when there are so many people cleaning out his butt every day?
Patriots in the White House, Jesus doesn't love horndog gov Robert Bentley, and Rexxon is full steam ahead. Your morning news brief!
Jason Chaffetz won't seek re-election in 2018. BUT WHY?????
Jon Ossoff takes off running, Donald Trump loses his boats, and Nazi jerks get served. Your morning news brief!
Does Rachel Maddow not follow Glenn Greenwald on Twitter? Does she not know she is doing FAKE NEWS?
He's very upset liberals don't see Trump as presidential, now that he bombs things.
Trump changes his mind on EVERYTHING (again), Russia hates EVERYONE (again), and Mar-a-Lago might make you sick and poor! Your morning news brief!
MANY NEWSES this morning, including Spicer apologizes for being A Idiot, Jeff Sessions is keeping it REAL (racist), did Bill O'Reilly get You're Fired? Your morning news brief!
Who among us hasn't accidentally denied the Holocaust OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT FUCKING NONE OF US HAVE DONE THAT.
Ivanka was very sad about the itty bitty babies and Eric says this proves Trump has no bad connections with Russia. We don't believe them for some weird reason.
Donald Trump completes his hostile takeover of the GOP, Kansas goes to the polls, and President Bannon tells Breitbart to be nice to Jared. Your morning news brief!
Trump's White House going feral on itself, each other. Couldn't happen to nicer guys. Your morning new brief!