Tag: fbi

FBI Sucker Punches Russian Hackers, Steals Their Lunch Money, And Follows Them Home

Uncle Sam chugged a tall can of Whoop-Ass, and stomped Mother Russia.

Trump Knows How To Fix Black Folks’ Knees… Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 24, 2018

Trump has thoughts on taking a knee, the FBI will brief the Gang of Eight, and Trump thinks immigrant kids, like Britney Spears, are not so innocent. Your morning news brief.

Paranoid Trump Searches For Spies. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 23, 2018

Trump obsessed with spies, Michael Cohen's partner flips, and Mick Mulvaney has words about CHIP. Your morning news brief.

QATAR WHO. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 22, 2018

ANOTHER Trump Tower meeting, Trump and his Congress bois get first crack at Mueller's info, and that good old China trade war. Your morning news brief!

President Poop Clown HEREBY DEMANDS To Be Treated Like Halfwit Wannabe Dictator He Is!

SOMEBODY woke up on the wrong side of his gold-plated pooper Sunday morning!

Alex Jones Has Thoughts On Robert Mueller’s Deep State Sex Orgy, By A Doctor Of Rhetoric

Alex Jones is a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a hypothetical gang-bang video.

Michael Cohen Knee Deep In Shit. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 17, 2018

Michael Cohen can't take this anymore, Trump calls immigrants animals, and Trump-Russia goes off the fucking rails! Your morning news brief.

Yes, You Can Go To Jail For Being Too Blackkety Black, Y’all

So, how did the FBI learn about this scariest of scary blacketty black men? Well, in the normal place that an investigator might go to find the truth: Alex Jones’ Infowars website.

A Post About Devin Nunes By A Guy Who’s Seen Seven Episodes Of ‘The Americans’

Oh nothing, just seems like Devin Nunes is trying to get a top-secret American source in the Russia investigation killed. NO BIG.

Mikey Baby, You’re In A World Of Shit. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 9, 2018

Trump dumps Iran deal, Mike Pompeo gets some hostages, and election returns! Your morning news brief.

Fuck Are All These Russians Doing In Michael Cohen’s Sex Payoff Slush Fund?????

THE FUCK IS ALL THIS SHIT, MICHAEL COHEN?

Rudy Giuliani Gonna Get A Cramp If He Keeps His Head Stuck Up His Ass Like This

Remember that time Rudy Giuliani was a GOOD LAWYER? Haha, us neither.

Peace In Our Time! Wonkagenda For Fri., April 27, 2018

North and South Korea agree to be friends, Michael Cohen has daddy issues, and Scott Pruitt blames everyone else. Your morning news brief.