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You know what I really didn't want to do?

Become an expert on how cissexist fuckwads manipulate the same studies over and over to churn out deceptive, even mendacious op-eds.

Fucking assgadgets.

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Melonfucking Bluetooth assgadgets.

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You're up early.

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I'm not, I slept until almost 8! My guts' latest hilarious prank is, "Ready for bed, huh? Not so fast, sister!"

I'm almost always up by seven but it usually takes me a bit of crossword puzzling and lurking before I'm remotely coherent.

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Although not an expert on assgadgets myself, I'm in a field in which I often work alongside others who are, and from them I've learned that assgadgets can be pleasurable, medically useful, or at least interesting. You seem to refer to a different variety.

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Shorter Opalescent Riddles:

"Assgadget libelz!"

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I need to take you to meetings as my translator.

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