James Comer Hasn't Finished His Biden Impeachment Homework Because TOO MUCH EVIDENCE, Y'ALL.

We cannot stop laughing.

James Comer sells honey for a living, ‘I SELL HUNNY!’ he yelled at Jamie Raskin a few weeks back. And now you will never see him on TV again without imagining he’s dressed like Winnie the Pooh from the waist down.

At some point you just have to laugh, and that that is what we are doing, almost as hard as we did when the blue state governors started doing the “Post A Pic Of Your Dog That DOESN’T Involve Throwing Them In The Gravel Pit and Shooting Them” challenge.

We just got done having a post about how House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer’s comically ill-fated impeachment investigation into the Ukrainian twists and turns (and curves!) of Hunter Biden’s penis was as good as done fer. In private, he’s hoping Jesus comes back to rapture the faithful, and somehow takes his investigation with it, thereby putting it out of its misery. He just wants to go back to Kentucky and be the simple honey farmer he wants to see in the world, or maybe the governor.

He durn’t reckon he’d do anything different if he had it to do all over again, of course, and maybe the real Biden impeachment is the friends you make along the way.

But bless his heart, he’s got a problem. He hasn’t admitted he has a problem, though. He just. cannot. stop. enthusiastically. fucking. this. chicken. “Hee hee!” he exclaims, like a country time Pillsbury Dough Boy fucking a chicken.

So here he is on Newsmax last night saying that the REAL reason his fruitless investigation continues to bear absolutely no fruit, the REAL reason nothing has happened yet, is that there’s simply TOO MUCH EVIDENCE against the Bidens.

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The host is pleading with Comer like please, the mouthbreathing MAGA morons who watch this show are so frustrated, they’ve been promised a show, that these terrible Democrats’ time is a-comin’. And they’re still just sitting here with their tongues resting between their rows of teeth with this confused look on their faces, wondering when it’s going to start. Please, congressman, tell us some news.

“Here’s the $64,000 question. Chairman. When do we hold them accountable for perjury, or evading taxes?” Something.

“Well look,” said Comer, and that is not the way you want him to start that answer if you are that Newsmax host. “Evading taxes, many financial crimes …” said Comer, trailing off as he tried to come up with the next thing to say, like some kind of Eddie Haskell hick boy trying to explain that he hid his homework up his butt to hide it from his dog who was trying to eat it. (Probably for sustenance after a good chasin’ from Kristi Noem.)

“The reason that this is takin’ so long, in addition to the obstruction for the White House, is there’s more evidence that comes in every day!” insisted Comer.

Is the evidence somehow … pointing in all kinda different directions? Have we not figured out what this season’s Mind Flayer is trying to do to Hawkins? Gotta spend more time tryin’ to figure out what the light bulbs are tryin’ to tell us?

Or maybe there aren’t any stranger things and this has all just been a pigfucking fishing expedition from the start, an impotent attempt by yokels with middling IQs and moms who told them they were special to say “I KNOW YEW ARE BUT WHAT AM I” to Biden and the Democrats, as they try to neutralize the crimes of the vile authoritarian shitbeast they worship?

Pack it in, Jamie.

Wonkette will just sit over here hysterically laughing while we wait.

[video via Aaron Rupar]

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James Comer Begging Jesus To Put His Biden Impeachment Investigation Out Of Its Misery

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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