It's Cory Booker's Liberation Day. Tabs, Wed., April 2, 2025

We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

I don’t even know where to start with all this CORY BOOKER JOY, but we’re all sitting around the internet fire Tuesday night and just ADMIRING. Let’s do this one I guess, I just went to Aaron Rupar’s feed and picked a good one.

And that will be all the joy for YOU! Unless we won all those races last night, I don’t know, I’m still watching Cory Booker. Here’s TPM’s midstream writeup. (GET IT? BECAUSE HE HAS TO PEE!) And … it ended with the Senate Democrats giving him a wild ovation and then giving unanimous consent to confirm the big dick toilet guy, our own unmissed Meatball, as Ambassador to NATO. Way to go everybody but Cory Booker. Just A+ work.

Hey, here’s some bad! Among the thousands of health workers whom Trump fired yestertoday (CNN) were all the CDC folks working on HIV, LIHEAP (that’s winter fuel help for your freezing granny), and lead paint. Lead paint abatement is probably racist against white children. (Wired)

Have the “Liberation Day” (WTF?) tariffs gone into effect while we were sleeping? Maybe? How about now? They told CNN yesterday they’d go into effect “immediately” after he announces them in the Rose Garden at 4 p.m. today, “sooner than people expect,” like some kind of Squid Game bullshit. Seems pretty clear he still hasn’t decided what he’s going to tax, because he can’t focus on anything for more than a second or two at a time, and this whole thing is for his ratings kink. (CNN)

What will “Liberation Day” (WTF?) mean for wine and spirits? Nothing good! (Everyday Drinking)

The White House already knows whom to blame when the tariffs cause a massive recession and huge yawning unemployment, did you guess “Donald Trump”? You are wrong. (Politico)

Timothy Snyder goes long on JD Vance’s insano speech at the US base in Greenland. (Snyder)

Who’s suing Donald Trump today? How about 23 state A’sG for “give us back our COVID money, BITCH”? (AP)

Why did Pete Hegseth delete (sure, sure, now restored) Bea Arthur’s Marine page? Surely he didn’t know she made fun of Trump all the fucking time on that show, but I bet Pepperidge Farm remembered. (Bad Faith Times)

Crime in St. Louis has plummeted, so Missouri is taking over the St. Louis PD and undoing all the reforms that helped crime plummet. (Bolts)

Oh, no shit? The North Carolina Lege took all the money to help victims of sexual abuse and violence from the agencies that oversaw the funds and gave it to a two-person “commission” that was appropriately Republican and Christian, and it immediately stopped paying out all the grants. One faith-based, Republican-operative-led group received $640,000 and helped three (3) women, with food and gas and nothing else. (ProPublica)

New “DEI” just dropped: Not beating pregnant women. (HuffPost)

I have an idea, what if nobody voted for Andrew Cuomo and voted for this guy instead? No, not Eric Adams. (Gift link New York Times)

Judge Andrew Oldham says Joe Biden was too senile to do any death-sentence commutations, and also the history and tradition of the United States don’t allow for them anyway. Looks like somebody’s running for Supreme Court justice! (Balls and Strikes)

Will you be arrested if you miscarry? Fuck it, probably, yeah. (The Cut)

Elon is learning why Americans are mad :( (Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman)

Hey look at that, Trump took away $40 million from Michigan schools that had already been promised, via “change the due date for their reimbursement submissions but don’t notify them until the new due date has passed.” That seems fine. (Fox 2 Detroit) It’s $85 million for New Jersey schools. Well LA DI DAH New Jersey! (Digest Online)

Speaking of which, how did you do on your MONTHLONG Pizza Pizza fundraiser request to fund my girls’ public Detroit elementary school? Well our school raised $2824, and exactly half of that came from YOU, THE WONKER. Thank you, I love you, and I hope you enjoyed your pizza (pizza).

Hey hey hey, Ellis Weiner and Steve Radlauer made their Wonkette book into a BOOK. All monies go to Steve and Ellis, just like your THE SPLIT subscriptions all go to Steve and Ellis. Sure is pretty! (Exasperated Media)

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