Congratulations on making it to Friday with us! The weekend is here, and we can now relax and catch up on all those chores we’ve put off. Hold on, that’s not relaxing at all.
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Our Friday began with Tabs, as expected, featuring a gif of a cute kitten aiming for a great long leap and plopping down instead onto the carpet. It’s still pleased with its achievement.
Donald Trump has gone mad with power and wants to ban fishing because he says he can.
Josh Hawley announced he will not run for president and a lot of people remembered he’s still around. Also he wants to ban mifepristone nationwide because women keep wanting to have autonomy, the hussies.
The New York Times sued Microsoft and OpenAI for stealing … well, everything that the Times ever published, ever, in what may be one of the biggest copyright thefts of all time. And the AI companies knew what they were doing was theft.
Robyn wrote about almost all the latest bizarre shit RFK Jr. bragged about in a speech to his anti-vaccine group, and there was so much insanity that she ran out of room to mention Kennedy’s pledge to have the nation’s public health agencies investigate “chemtrails.”
Florida Republican Rep. Maria Salazar spoke out this week to protest the Trump mass deportation policies she voted again and again to fund, and now Trump is mad at her for some reason. Funny, that.
And just like every Friday, we needed a drink by the time the day was over. Happily, Hooper the Bartender was here with a much-needed cocktail recipe, the “Lusty Bonobo,” in honor of Kash Patel and his new, bestiality-understanding FBI.
Yr Wonkette loves you. Have a good weekend; we’ll be here on the web but not in the newsletter until Monday rolls around again. Be kind to each other!
Uh oh, sounds like Robyn in trouble with the boss for not bringing up chemtrails in her story today.
I'm all for chemtrails. I just don't have the time, money or connections to buy the good stuff anymore.