GO STEAL ELECTIONS IN PRISON FOR NINE YEARS, COLORADO MAGA A-HOLE TINA PETERS
Play stupid games, get sentenced to stupid prizes.
Oh hey, remember Tina Peters, the ultra-MAGA stop-the-steal former county clerk for Mesa County, Colorado, who was indicted for using her powers to start the steal, as it turned out? She was sentenced to nine years behind bars today, in prison AND in jail.
Ha ha.
As you probably remember, she was convicted on seven of 10 counts in August, of hatching (quoting Wonkette now) “a scheme to break into Mesa County’s elections offices, disable the security cameras, unlock the doors, and sneak in a former pro surfer named Conan Hayes to tamper with Dominion voting machines to prove some kind of anti-Trump fraud, or something.”
She was just saving democracy by getting a sneaky guy to copy Dominion hard drives for her, then smuggling the data to the MyPillow guy. As one does!
And now she’s going to prison like a common Steve Bannon or El Chapo, AS ONE DOES.
Tina Peters did not want to attend prison, and explained to the judge:
“I’m not a criminal, and I don’t deserve to go to a prison where other people committed heinous crimes.”
However, Judge Matthew Barrett disagreed, clarifying that Tina Peters gets to go to jail now. She gets to go for 8.5 years to the big prison, plus six months in the county jail.
Barrett also explained that Tina Peters is a total dickwipe and fuck off:
[I]n his sentencing decision, Barrett said Peters used her privilege “to obtain power, a following and fame.”
“You are no hero, you abused your position, and you’re a charlatan who used and is still using your prior position in office to peddle a snake oil that’s been proven to be a snake oil time and time again,” the judge remarked before handing down the sentence.
Please watch the entire sentencing speech, for it is amazing. Many people are saying he could have been talking to Donald Trump. This is how MAGA officials should be spoken to:
If Peters serves her full sentence, she will get out just after Kamala Harris finishes her second term probably.
When Peters was served a warrant in a bagel shop for illegally recording a court hearing related to this set of crimes, she kicked a cop.
You know what’s a really popular thing to do in prison? Not that.
We don’t know what kind of elections they have in prison — like student council, but for jail maybe? — but if we find out she tried to steal them on behalf of whatever white supremacist prison gang she ends up joining, that’ll be a HO HUM, TYPICAL TINA from us.
OPEN THREAD.
[Washington Post / video via Ron Filipkowski]
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I was able to grab a free ticket for this event at the United Palace Theater.
“Movies at the United Palace with Lin-Manuel Miranda continues its 2024 season, entitled “Movies We Missed,” with Cassandro, a true story of Cassandro, the ''exotico'' character created by Saúl Armendáriz, a gay amateur wrestler from El Paso who rose to international stardom.
After the screening, attendees will be treated to a special conversation between the United Palace’s good friend, patron, and neighbor, Lin-Manuel Miranda and the actor Gael García Bernal.
Starring Gael García Bernal, Roberta Colindrez, and Perla De La Rosa. Directed by Roger Ross Williams. Written by David Teague and Roger Ross Williams.
Miranda's 2023 Movies at the United Palace series was cut short by the writers' and actors' strikes, which also hurt the promotional efforts around many new releases. This led us to this year's theme of "Movies We Missed" that shine a light on films that were released during the 2023 strikes.
Miranda has supported screenings at the United Palace since 2013 when he helped the theatre’s fund-raising campaign to purchase a new projector, screen, and surround sound system to return movies to the theatre after a 40-year hiatus. His guests in 2022 included Steven Spielberg, Spike Lee, Hugh Jackman, and Danai Gurira, and the film series attracted about 15,000 guests to the heart of Washington Heights.
Movies at the United Palace with Lin-Manuel Miranda is sponsored by the Miranda Family Fund with support from New York-Presbyterian Hospital.”
https://unitedpalace.boletosexpress.com/event.php?event_id=78843
A work of art. A proper thin crust New York pizza. Warning: viewing images may cause drooling.
When the gas has been turned off to your building because construction guys may have done a little oopsie while installing a stove, it’s time to order pizza!
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-71312660?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc