525 Comments

He has the complexion of a poorly-thawed ham steak.

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I want to name my band Umlaut.

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His classmates, teachers and family all despise him, and he revels in it.

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Actually, republicans are going to be too busy getting investigated and sued to notice.

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Drumpf is desperate to stay shielded by the White House, because as soon as he leaves, the lawsuits begin. And Deutsche Bank comes for his over-leveraged "empire."

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Those animals are natural enemies, but are united in their hate for libs.

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"When pigs fly…"

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"Did you remember the dynamite?""Who.""You!"

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We're gonna spell out BIDEN on the South Lawn with all of the convicted members of Drumpf's administration.

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I blame Applebees.

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Hey! That used 2003 Hyundai Elantra isn't gonna protect itself!

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I can't fathom the ineptitude of a campaign that doesn't buy every version of their 2020 slogan.

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"But it ain't in my area! There are only two people in my whole county that have it! The China Virus is the flu! The shutdown is a democrat hoax! Libs hate America!!1!!!11"

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Of course we're not there! There's a pandemic on!

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Stay focused.

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