Can Donald Trump please have state visits more often? It keeps him off Twitter, it distracts him from governing, it distracts him from how a shark named Robert Mueller is circling his White House, and QUITE FRANKLY it gives yr Wonkette a fucking break from the nightmare of the past couple years. We will get back to real news in a minute, we promise, unless you don’t want us to, in which case we will just start writing listicles with animal .gifs from now on. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.
That being said, the pictures from yesterday are epic, because Donald Trump and Emmanuel Macron have either a bromance or a literal romance that is epic, except for how Macron is obviously faking it for strategery reasons. At least we hope he is. EMMANUEL, YOU CAN DO BETTER.
Anyway, forthwith and forsooth, here are the 10 best pictures we have found of Emmanuel Macron getting canoodled by GrossFace McOldBalls, at least among pictures common warblogs like Wonkette are allowed to embed, and not counting ones we’ve already shown you.
We can’t decide if this first one is romance-y, or whether it is a picture of Trump grabbing his buddy’s hand like he’s seven years old and jerking him toward his treehouse fort, so he can show him all the cool toys and video games he keeps in there:
Tellin’ secrets. FUNNY SECRETS. Secrets like “HEY GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT, EMMANUEL? GUESS WHAT? THERE ARE GHOSTS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!”
Awwwwwww. They’re not full-on holding hands, the French president is just keeping the American president’s tiny orange finger warm. This is normal:
Another view of “OMG LET’S GO PLAY WITH G.I. JOES!”
President Macron, you ARE doing this for some kind of geopolitical reason, right?
Because if at any point this gets to be too much, we will not blame you for using your safe word, which is probably “I’m With Her” or “Mueller Time!” Unless it’s some French thing like “sacre bleu!”
“But our wives are here!” “Don’t worry, if we get in trouble, Michael Cohen will give you $130,000 from his personal account.” “Mais oui!”
More secrets. More touching. MORE LOVE:
Oh, and as our headline implies, Melania got a bite too, while her husband did some kind of weird gross hug move on Brigitte Macron:
If you need more (you do not) here is a video of the boys making out or whatever:
Anyway, can you imagine how hot these pictures would be if Barack Obama was still president and there wasn’t an orange shitwaffle in every single one of them? Might even give Obama ‘n’ Trudeau a run for their money!
Instead, this is all we get, because we live in hell.
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