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This is my "what did I tell you?" face
PISSED.

The dog-and-pony show of distractions from the Trump-Russia probes in Congress continues! We don’t know how we missed this, except for how every single day of our lives now is a hell-ish news-pocalypse bent on destroying our mental and physical health, but last week, Senate Judiciary Committee chair Chuck Grassley and his little buddy Lindsey Graham released a declassified version of their Very Serious Not Wasting Our Time At All criminal referral of Christopher Steele, the spy who tried to save America, because Steele ALLEGEDLY (unproven, baseless accusation) lied to the FBI about his contacts with the media back when he was doing the spy work that became THE DOSSIER. It was cute, for these Very Serious Not Wasting Our Time At All GOP senators to be telling the FBI, “Squirrel! That guy lied to you! Allegedly! BIG SQUIRREL!”

They did this, of course, because Lindsey Graham is Donald Trump’s golf boyfriend and Chuck Grassley is kind of like the Devin Nunes of the Senate, except he’s way more wrinkly and has more corn inside him than Devin Nunes has. Point is, they don’t mind obstructing a little justice for Trump if they get Beggin’ Strips in return.

Dianne Feinstein, Democratic vice chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, is not having this shit. Have you seen what happens when DiFi gets pissed off? She releases entire transcripts of hearings about THE DOSSIER that Grassley and Trump don’t want you to read — because it makes them look like shiiiiiiiiiiit — and she times it so she’s SITTING ACROSS THE TABLE FROM THE PRESIDENT THE SECOND IT’S PUBLISHED. Do not fuck with her.

[Your editrix, a lifelong Californian until marriage and procreation, adds here: YES, it is TRUE that Dianne Feinstein is too conservative a Democrat to properly represent California, and a primary from the left would make very much sense. BUT ALSO, Dianne Feinstein is the only thing holding Chuck Grassley’s ass to the fire at the moment, and it is a welcome surprise.]

Feinstein has released her own rebuttal to the the heavily redacted Graham/Grassley criminal referral of Steele, and it reads kind of like a common Wonkette debunking of a Devin Nunes memo, minus the dick jokes. So let’s add some dick jokes!

Cutting through the shit, Feinstein’s points are:

  • LOL YA BURNT! That sure is a lot of words about a fake-ass “criminal referral” about “lying to the FBI” with “no evidence,” but strangely no words about how THE DOSSIER has been in any way disproven. And why? Because Republicans hate THE DOSSIER because it’s too true.
  • LOL YA BURNT! Your so-called “criminal referral” conveniently omits a bunch of facts related to Steele’s contacts with the FBI and the media that were provided by the Department of Justice. Why you not include those? Is it because you are liars who lie a lot?
  • LOL YA BURNT! There sure are a lot of baseless allegations in there about Chris Steele supposedly copying his dossier off “Clinton friend” Cody Shearer, which is funny, because usually the most highly respected spies in the Western world do their own spy work instead of copying their homework off some BFF of Hillary’s named “Cody.” (This is the basis of the next Devin Nunes Special, which the Washington Post has already preemptively debunked.)
  • LOL YA BURNT! Chuck Grassley, show us on the doll where Chris Steele broke a law. No seriously, show us.
  • LOL YA BURNT! You two idiots are acting like Chris Steele is some rando off the street trying to besmirch your beloved president, but do you realize he’s been working with the FBI forfuckingyears because he’s one of the greatest Russia experts in the world and his reputation is unimpeachable?
  • LOL YA BURNT! Also, let us please remind you kind sirs that the only reason Chris Steele came to the FBI in the first place was because he was gravely concerned for US national security after uncovering an international Trumpo-Russian conspiracy to steal American democracy and give it to Vladimir Putin. Chris Steele American Patriotism Points: ONE; Grassley/Graham American Patriotism Points: ZERO.
  • LOL YA BURNT! You guys sure are bitching a lot about the FBI monitoring Carter Page, considering how neither you nor anyone else has actually shown that Page isn’t a Russian intelligence asset that shouldn’t be under surveillance by the FBI. By the way, HE TOTALLY IS.

In conclusion: LOL! and also YA BURNT!

Read the whole thing here. Our version is much funnier (sorry, Feinstein) but as always, Wonkette encourages you to read the source documents and check our work.

For the record, this is the second time today Wonkette has had to deal with Chuck Grassley and Lindsey Graham throwing up roadblocks in the Russia investigation to protect their power and their beloved president. Will it be the last? Never underestimate those assholes, it is not even lunchtime.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Feinstein memo]

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  • Treg (ง •̀_•́)
  • Asterix

    Well done Senator. She who frequently annoys me for being too conservative has been making me do the happy dance lately.

  • Nounverb911

    “We don’t know how we missed this”

    There aren’t enough Wonkettes in all the world to cover the shit going on in trumpland?

  • miss_grundy

    So, what is the Senate procedure for bending each of them over a table and shoving a pool stick, with votes, up their butts without benefit of lubrication? Whatever that procedure is, that is what she should do. Except I think, Miss Lindsey might consider it foreplay.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Send ’em a memo Diane:

    Dear Sirs,

    I would like to offer you this reminder that ‘Senator’ and ‘treason’ are composed of the same letters.

    Sincerely,
    DiFi

    • birdbrain53

      OMG you! Can’t stop laughing.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    They did this, of course, because Lindsey Graham is Donald Trump’s golf boyfriend

    And the Russians have a video of Lindsey in a _____________ with a ___________.

    Fill in the blanks wonks!

    • TJ Barke

      Bodega, sheep.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Yugo, hoagy.

    • Nounverb911

      pool room, pool boy

      • Nounverb911

        (His parent’s restaurant, The Sanitary Cafe, was in fact a Pool Hall)

        • Nounverb911

          I used to eat there when I was in grad school.

          • therblig

            how were the red hot wings?

        • gnomemansanisland

          And every table had a sanitary napkin.

        • FlemmishSpy

          How were the napkins?

          • gnomemansanisland

            adsorbent

        • Were the toilet seats covered for our protection?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Vote, vote

    • Caepan

      bathroom stall, pair of tap shoes.

    • WIDTAP

      hissy fit, boy toy.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      chifferobe, feather boa

      • Msgr_MΩment

        i.e. Tuesday.

    • James Baskin

      bra, butt plug in his hand.

    • Anna Rompage

      Senate coat closet – with the rent boy that fucked a Scalia to death

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Crude. I like.

    • TJ Barke

      Gazebo, married little person.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Pickle, pickle.

    • hudson

      fit of moral outrage, a concern for the country over the party?

      it would be a scandal if his donors and voters found out that was true.

      • Snowbound Ron

        Okay, now you’re just making things up.

    • Beelzebubba

      Rubber suit, dildo up his ass

    • Msgr_MΩment

      meth-fueled orgy
      Russian Olympic team (I still haven’t figured out which one)

  • gnomemansanisland

    Chuck Grassley should more appropriately be named Chuck Cornly.

  • Zonath

    For example, in 2010, Mr. Steele gave information to the FBI that led to indictments of several officials from the International Federation of Association Football (FIFA) and the termination of the organization’s president, Sepp Blatter.

    So in other words, Mr. Steele more or less forced John Oliver to drink Bud Light Lime? What a monster!

    • hudson

      aha!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘Bud Light Lime?’ And you UnitedStatsians wonder why the rest of the world hates you.

      • Anna Rompage

        No shit, what’s so hard about buying Bud Light, and adding a wedge of lime, like one might do with say, a Corona or Pacifico, or Modello

        • OutOfOrbit

          you know damm well it just ain’t the same

        • Marion in Savannah

          The only excuse for Bud Light is something to have around in the middle of the summer when you’re dying of thirst and don’t want to get buzzed in the heat. It’s sex in a canoe — fucking close to water.

        • Zonath

          What? And miss out on whatever it is that Anheuser-Busch uses in place of limes in its misbegotten lime-flavored light “beer”? Never!

          • Jeffery Campbell

            It’s a “fatty-acid ester” which is also my drag name.

        • RickyG

          HELLO. This is Amurica! Are you new?!

        • Snowbound Ron

          Too complex and involved a process for the sort of person who drinks Bud Light Lime.

          • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

            The primary process which involves knowing which grocery store item Lime Juice comes out of.

          • Snowbound Ron

            ‘Hey, how do you separate the lemon and lime parts from a can of Sprite?’

      • Seek

        Hmmmm, on that note – I was recently in Ireland and was absolutely appalled to see actual Irish persons drinking Coors Lite. Not once or twice but fairly regularly. I was astonished and thought a lot less of them for it. The only downer on the whole trip but still – Coors Lite!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I got ya one better. I saw twelve-ounce cans of pinot noir at the grocery store.

  • hudson

    she was like, i don’t even have to hold the shift key to rebut this shit bitch.

    • Meccalopolis

      snark lock

  • Scooby

    See, I think she doesn’t this because she’s lazy and this is too easy.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I might have supported a primary challenge to Feinstein a decade ago, but it would be a huge setback for the state and the party to lose her at this point. We do need to consider who will succeed her, but it will take at least a generation for the seat to regain the power she wields with it.

    • Seek

      She is rather old and a successor or group of possibles needs to be identified. She’s no Cheney who may well continue to “live” for another generation as true evil never dies. I’m no fan but at some point she will actually need to retire. I don’t want her to be another Strom Thurmond, holding down his seat from hospice at the Senior center. I hope she has some dignity and decorum on the way out.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        No argument here, but I would say she is on top of her game right now, and we do need that at the moment.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Me not sure

    Evan, report back after lunch.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    DF

    Swansong

    Too late.

  • Di Fi hasn’t been my favorite Senator, but she has been there a long time and is now in a position to do shit like this to bitch slap the GOP. So long as she keeps doing that, she’s got my vote.

  • Old town Urbandale

    Minus the dick jokes? What’s the fun in that?

  • SayItWithWookies

    And don’t forget that the FBI terminated its relationship with Steele because he was talking to the press about Assmouth’s ties to Russia! Of course, Steele also sent the FBI his Russia information unsolicited, so he, a Brit, seems to care more about America than anyone in this fucking administration.

    • Anna Rompage

      Or in the congressional GOP…

  • FlemmishSpy
  • Toomush Stability

    When I’m really testy lately, I just close my eyes and think of a groundswell moving toward Washington, shaking our fists…

  • Bright Bart
    • hudson

      rofl!! librarians are the best.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      LOL Keith!! Ya burnt!

    • BadKitty904

      Librarians face challenges unknown to mere mortals.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I wonder what Keith would do if someone returned a book and yelled “Squirrel!”

      • Bright Bart

        i would be very surprised if 6 people per day did NOT do that.

        • “Unpresidented” Linda

          I’d have to. I’d see it as my duty.

        • Gosala

          I’d be tempted to yell, “Not a moose.”

    • Dutchman
      • Monica

        Goℴgle pays to new employee $97/h to complete few services on the laptop … Do job Some only few peroid of time daily and spend more time together with your own family … Anyone can also get this opportunity!!this Friday I purchased a latest Infiniti just after earnin $15617 this-past/four weeks .without any doubt it is the extraordinary approach however you could no longer forgive yourself if you don’t learn this.!sw491l:⇉⇉⇉ http://GooglePeopleJobsAtHome/get/cash/97$/perhour ♥♥y♥♥t♥j♥♥♥m♥f♥♥♥t♥♥♥l♥j♥r♥c♥♥s♥♥h♥♥e♥o♥o♥♥♥n♥♥e♥♥k♥i♥♥m♥♥v♥♥♥a♥s♥u♥♥♥q:::!ze341y:gvo

    • Blackest Noobs

      at both academic libraries i used to work, we used to have outdoor book return, and i said USED TO, because fuckall college kids would dump empty beer cans and bottles in it. so yeah….America…fuck YEAH.

      • IMPOed

        Remember that robot that was going around the planet (sorry, across the country), only to be smashed by Pennsylvania punks?

        AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM!!

      • C.W. St. John Nobbs

        It’s funny, as an engineer I always went to the science library which was not very lively. The few times I went to the main library, it was a bit less sedate and I could totally see that. I assume the business library was really just the stack of spank bank mags in the first frat house on the right, but never having needed to go there….

      • OneYieldRegular

        You know, I was kinda of wondering if the sign above might have been the last straw for you.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i would welcome the squirrel revolution.

      • Jimh

        I’d like to throw some nuts down there.

    • The Very Stable Librarian

      Props to any squirrel that can open that door and steal a lunch also too! Sorry, Keith.

    • Opiwan

      Penn State squirrels scoff at that and say “HOLD MY BEER IMMA GET LUNCH”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What about a squirrel in a book costume? Has anybody thought about THAT?!

      • Petunia Cat

        No, for that level of intellectual skill you need a raccoon.

  • Tetman Callis

    One of my favorite things about Wonkette is the links to source documents. The MSM, do they link to source docs? Not so much. And it’s fucking annoying. There will be some story — or a tsunami of stories — about some thing, some incident, some happenstance, some confluence, comeuppance, court decision, counterstrike, stricken nimwit — oh, just anything — and 1) the story will be incomplete, possibly because of the pressures of deadlines, and 2) the reporter’s report demonstrates that the reporter doesn’t completely understand what the underlying incident etc. is about, for which journalist’s obtuseness I will not attempt to offer any excuse. But when I can go to the source document, I can effect for myself a more complete edification upon the subject at hand.

    Okay, that’s my rant. Morning break is over. Time to get back to work. My job? Why, I review source documents!

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Damn. Just when I had some alternative facts I didn’t need checked.” – Kellyanne Conway

    • birdbrain53

      Yeah I love source docs. Especially legal briefs.

    • formerChild

      I agree. I just wish so many of the links didn’t go to WaPo. Which I can’t afford to subscribe to.

      • Petunia Cat

        Same here. Here’s the technique it’s kind of an ass pain so it’s only worth it if you know for sure you want to read that particular story. You get the headline and you type it in with Chicago Tribune or Baltimore Sun. And you can often find the article without a paywall. 🤞🏼 The Tribune one works for Alexandra Petrie columns. And she’s quite funny. 😁

        • Celtic_Gnome

          You can also right-click on the link and choose “Open link in incognito window”. Gets around the paywall.

          • Petunia Cat

            😯 Do you know how to do that nifty trick on an iPad? I’ll try out the incognito setting on my Puffin browser. 🤞🏼

          • formerChild

            Actually, the incognito window doesn’t fool WaPo, except in who you are. It starts a new counter for the incognito side of your comp, and you get the same 5 or 10 or however many free articles you get. It’s helpful, but still leaves me far short of my “needs”, heh.

        • formerChild

          Thanks, I’ll try that!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      There’s the story of my local paper gearing up to go digital back in the 90’s. The person doing the demonstration for the editors showed how they could put a link to a source document in the story, and the editors were appalled at that idea. They thought if someone linked to a different document, they’d never come back to the original story.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Marsupial99

    I have had my issues with Feinstein over the last several years, especially when she starts up her DINO tactics, HOWEVER, I have been very pleased with her these last few months. It is interesting watching who is willing to step up when the shit really hits the fan. (I can’t help but wonder if the election of Kamala Harris pushed her a bit — something like “Oh, I guess California DOES want to be liberal after all!”)

    • Seek

      I think you are right. Kamala won and came in strong and liberal and she is getting rave reviews back here in CA. DiFi wants to get that base support as she runs for re-election. There have been more than a few grumbles about the DINO-ness of DiFi and this is a good way to shoot that down. Hell, she may even believe it.

  • BadKitty904

    Let me repeat, as I mentioned in the previous string on the Grassley Troll and Aunt Pitty: “Fuck those two guys.

  • Meccalopolis

    Chris Steele works for Oleg Deripaska? WTF are you talking about Tom Cotten?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Charlie Pierce calls Cotton a “bobble-throated slapdick.”

      • Meccalopolis

        sounds about right

      • suziq

        Charlie Pierce has the best words!

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Damn, and I had hoped to go all day without thinking about Tom Rotten.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        I blame his brother, Johnny 😥😥😥

    • IMPOed
      • OutOfOrbit

        i know the feeling well, but mine is all jagged with sharp edges, not one curve

    • Arolpin

      He can’t even keep his fucking talking points straight. Chris Steele was hired by FusionGPS, which was originally hired by the Washington Free Beacon, then by the DNC. FusionGPS was also working on an completely separate project for a Russian bank represented by Oleg Deripaska. It’s kind of like how a big commercial bank can run the IPO for two different companies in the same industry, even if they compete with each other. It’s called fucking business.

      (My company provides services to a lot of large companies, many of whom are in direct competition with each other. We don’t tell them what their competition is buying, because that would be unethical and stupid. None of these companies is concerned that they are buying services from the same company as their competition, because there are 100s of companies in their segment, and only a handful of companies who can offer the services they require. Kind of like there are thousands of companies/organizations who need business intelligence, and FusionGPS is one of the best out there, so they get business from a lot of different clients.)

      • Meccalopolis

        And for their next trick, conflate, distract, project. Hmm, same as their last trick

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Every time I look at a pic of Tom Cotton, I lose a little more respect for Harvard Law.

  • IMPOed

    Let’s not forget Tom Cottonhole, one of the Fuckin WORST!!

  • OutOfOrbit

    meanwhile, mueller is dragging his feet because deep down, he’s still a Republican

    • Darlene Underdahl

      I’m hoping that isn’t true. I don’t want Russian hackers to divide us.

      Oops, yes, I know he’s a Republican. I want him to have a lofty character.

      • OutOfOrbit

        what scares me is Flynn is still free when he is a known, confessed and proven Russian spy. Oh i know he’s “singing” but he can do that from a jail cell and once inside, he would be more inclined to want out than he is now.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          Quiet in the Cheap Seats, please. Let the first Wonker with a record is successful prosecution of Org Crimes cast the first stone

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      No, he’s a pro playing a dangerous offense against a dug-in enemy

      • Celtic_Gnome

        You only get one shot at the king. You’d better make it good.

  • I fail to see any dick jokes in this article even tho they were explicitly promised.

    Still, it’s always fun to hear republicans try to invent bullshit to protect their Russian operative President.

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    As a lifelong CA person except for a brief foray elsewhere, gotta agree with edtrix. I’m going to fly a Go Feinstein! pennant. For now, anyway.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Weird, Pompeo doesn’t come off in this session as big an asshole as he actually is.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    When I lived in CA, it was John Tunney and Alan Cranston. (I lived there for 10 months a hundred years ago) I have no idea why this is relevant.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Lamont Cranston’s brother?

    • svejk

      gene mccarthy said of sen. tunney, “if only jack dempsey hadn’t given his father that extra 8 seconds in the long count, we wouldn’t have to put up with that little shit in the senate today.”

      • Steely_Fan

        Wow. Great quote. But I haz a confuze: If Dempsey had gone to his corner instead of standing over Tunney, he would have won the fight because Tunney didn’t get up within 10 seconds. I get that. But just how would Tunney’s losing the fight have prevented Tunney Jr.’s conception? Or just let me know if I’m over-thinking this.

        • svejk

          implication was sen. tunney won on his father’s fame, which would have been materially diminished by his father’s title loss to dempsey.

          • Steely_Fan

            Ah, so. Now it makes sense. Thanks!

    • Petunia Cat

      Alan Cranston had a spectacularly cadaverous head. Whenever I saw him on TV all I could do was stare at his cadaverous head.

  • OrG

    Do NOT want to think about chuck grassley’s ass. Nope nope nope.

    • Anna Rompage

      All you have to do is look at the backside of an old elephant to see what Grassley’s ass Is all about

      • Iron Monkey

        Or his face.

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      It looks (and feels) like cold oatmeal stuffed into an old, crumply, plastic grocery bag. You’re welcome

  • JohnBull

    The only thing more burnt is my poor state that elected Cornpants McFuckstick for another six years, and will probably re-elect him until way after he’s dead. Or maybe we truly deserve these assholes but I’m too broke to move to a more successful state.

  • Jeffery Campbell
    • James Baskin

      Mr Softee!!!!

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Corny Collins

  • Stable Uniomist Raan
  • Rick Hill

    Your guy should have been a smerter, better businessman if he didn’t want to get caught, gop motherfuckers.

  • IMPOed

    Hope she stands back, to avoid the Splatter.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I don’t want to brag about eating a lot of corn, but it is true that my bloodstream is 2% High Fructose Corn Syrup at all times. And another 2% ethanol.”
    — Chuck Grassley

    • gnomemansanisland

      I’m pretty sure he’s E10

    • Meccalopolis

      Sorry, my mechanic recommends I avoid ethanol

      • Relativicus

        “There are more old drunks than there are old [mechanics], so I guess I’m gonna have another round.”

        https://youtu.be/HKD_o4gbcSE

        • little miss high and mighty

          Thanks for the Possum
          Quote: “If we all sang like we wanted to
          we’d all sound just like George Jones”
          –Waylon Jennings

      • Latverian Diplomat

        My liver feels the same way. :-)

  • Relativicus

    There was not one dick joke in that summation. Not. One!

    • gnomemansanisland

      Sometimes you gotta bring your own

      • H0mer0

        or go to war with the [dick jokes] you have, not always the ones you want

    • Gosala

      When Evan said there’d be dick jokes he was speaking truthfully but not literally.

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      Bullshit, there were two giant dick jokes in there, Srs. Grassley and Graham.

  • Lord High theCryptofishist

    So true:
    [Your editrix, a lifelong Californian until marriage and procreation, adds here: YES, it is TRUE that Dianne Feinstein is too conservative a Democrat to properly represent California, and a primary from the left would make very much sense. BUT ALSO, Dianne Feinstein is the only thing holding Chuck Grassley’s ass to the fire at the moment, and it is a welcome surprise.]

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    How do the RWNJs not notice that, the only defence they can muster is a technicality. “Fruit of the Poisonous Tree” only works when you’ve got one tree and all you have is a couple of fruit from it. When you’re standing in the middle of a goddamn 10k acre orchard of trees, one poisonous tree will not even slow your harvest.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Republicans hate it because it impedes law enforcement- unless they are the ones being investigated.
      Someone with some cartoon or photoshop skills could do a “fruit of the poison tree” cartoon with all of these bad actors heads for rotten apples

  • Vacuous Virgina

    *Snausages* 😂😂😂

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    One would think that evidence of foreign infiltration of the US government would be a non-partisan concern, but seeing that the Republican party has been putting its own interests above the country’s since Nixon, it’s not a surprise that Grassley and Graham are still running (laughably transparent) cover for the Dotard administration. And plainly DiFi is sick of their shit and out of fucks about calling them on it. Go Dianne.

    • Jennaratrix

      I fully expect to find out that everyone running cover for Cadet Bonespurs is guilty of involvement in this thing, above and beyond obstruction; they wouldn’t throw themselves under the bus like this if they weren’t trying to save their own skins, too. Money-laundering, collusion, vote-tampering, espionage, treason; they’re in it up to their ears one way or another, all of them. What remains to be seen is if anyone will care.

      • Gorillionaire

        Yup. It’s been obvious since summer of ’16 that these Russia connections were pretty well known by most DC rethuglicans and most of these amoral assholes were probably like “hey get me in on this scam too!”

    • laineypc

      This doesn’t go away when Trump does. We are stuck with this poisoning of our democracy, hyperpartisanship, whatever our side does is right, whatever our side says today is true, foreign/Russia interference. Only the olds in Congress represent the last of the institutional memory of how it’s supposed to work. (And it’s always had problems, but rarely (ever?) this, we have hurricanes, tornados, volcanoes fires and earthquakes all at the same time.) When the old guard goes, we are well and truly fucked.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Cubically fucked. Fucked^3, if working in Excel.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    The criminal referral alleges that Mr. Steele was using this additional
    reporting from “the Clinton friend” as the basis for his own work –
    implying there was no independent investigative work done by Steele. The
    criminal referral fails to address the fact that 14 of the 17 memos in
    the Steele dossier published by Buzzfeed were created by Mr. Steele
    before this October 19 report. It would have been impossible for Mr.
    Steele to include information that he received in an October 19 report
    from “a friend of the Clintons” in his 14 earlier reports, which date
    back to June 20, 2016.

    Look at Miss Smarty Pants! Making chronological sense! Some nerve, the hussy!!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yeah, well, 14 of 17 dentists say Don’t fill your own cavities.
      Talk about a money-grubbing cabal!
      /what were we talking about again?

      • phoenix00

        Don’t fill your own cavities *before you drill them*

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        4 out of five dentists recommend sugarless gum for their patients that chew gum. The fifth dentist? He recommends heroin.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    You know how regular people can tell that alleged Americans grassley and the rest of the repulsivecans are full of shit when it comes to the russian investigation? All the committee’s meetings are secret. The only data that gets out are memos from the colluders and leaks that contradict the colluders’ memos. There is no transparency in the either the House or Senate investigations because the crimes they are investigated are obvious.

    • Jennaratrix

      And also too because they are implicated in those crimes.

  • TootsStansbury

    This will be forgotten by tomorrow. When is actual justice going to be served to these traitorous criminals?

    • Toledo Window Box

      When Dems are back in power, we will get a hint of justice. But the full justice we need and deserve will NEVER be served on Republicans.

      • Teto85

        Damn. And I was getting the guillotine all ready to go.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Grassley and Graham are so obviously out of their league it’s like some t-ball kids going up against Randy Johnson.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    Please Mr. Mueller. I could use a pick-me-up today. Just one teeny little indictment?

    • Jimh

      One a week for the rest of the year is all I ask.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    DiFi’s analysis is a thing of beauty- a serious shot across the bow. Sure, she’s always been way too conservative for many people’s tastes, but she’s turned into DGAF Dianne these days.

  • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

    I just got an email from her from when I thanked her last time for releasing the Simpson transcripts as well as getting Chump to say “yes, let’s do a clean DACA bill” to her in front of the press, just before Kevin McCarthy tapped on his little walnut head and said “No Mister President, clean DACA bills aren’t the droids you’re looking for”

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I called her office to encourage her to protect DREAMers and her staff said she has done so for ten years and will continue to do so. A love-fest, it was.

  • JeanieBeanie

    Kick em’ in the nuts for me Diane!

  • Arse Grammatica

    Around her neck she wears the dried nads of men who failed to take her seriously.

  • rocktonsam

    Lying dicks just lay there and lie.

  • birdbrain53

    The DiFi memo is a thing of beauty.

  • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

    The only part of Dianne Feinstein’s Press Release that is totally, utterly, and unequivocally NOT TRUE:

    Her first footnote cites the “Memorandum from Hon. Charles E. Grassley and Hon. Lindsey O. Graham”

    THEY ARE NOT HONORABLE IN ANY WAY.

  • they’ll never learn their lesson. Feinstein, as usual, is/will be having them for breakfast.

    and although it is true that Feinstein may be a tad too conservative for Cali, she also brings a ton of seniority to the table.

    • javadavis

      Primarying Feinstein should be pretty low on the priority list right now. Well, maybe for a big time Trump or Koch supporter primarying her would be higher on the priority list.

      • just watch the purity ponies try and go after her. wouldn’t be the first time.

        • javadavis

          That is what I am afraid of, and not just her but the general pursuit of perfection where there isn’t any.

          • the fun part is that there can never be perfection if you keep moving the goal posts and what that does is enable insufferable and often dangerous assholes.

          • Petunia Cat

            Yep. They’re going through that right now in Britain with Corbyn and creepy Momentum.

          • little miss high and mighty

            But in the UK there is a vital, active left- unlike here in Babylon West- where D:F:merely appears leftish.

    • Petunia Cat

      Exactly. She’s one of the most senior senators in the Senate which is the most senior thing in the legislative branch. Primary her? WTF? There are all these areas where Republicans ran unopposed! People need to get tactically smart.

      Also I hear this ‘Diane Feinstein is conservative’ jazz, how so? Is that an accurate observation or is it purity pony crap? I’m in Canada maybe there’s all this information that’s common knowledge in California that I don’t have. (I lived in California for five years when I was a student. In San Francisco when Dianne was mayor.) If you look at her very professionally done, Twitter feed it has all the correct position on the main issues being talked about now. Is there some weird anti-progressive skeleton in her closet? Does she like hate unions or something? Serious question.

      • it’s purity pony poop for the most part. I’m sure there is a skeleton or two but I seriously doubt that it is anything you haven’t heard about one million career politicians before.

        • And what a lot of people forget about their elected representatives is that you don’t just represent the people who voted FOR you – you also represent the people who DIDN’T.

          Their needs and wants must be taken into account, too.

          • not if you remain in a state of perpetual campaigning/propagandizing. that’s why I despise this kind of cheap, fake populism we’ve seen re-emerge over the last 10-15 years.

      • stubbornirishlass

        No, although she has supported the death penalty, at least in the past. I don’t know what her overall current stance is on that. But I think recently it has more to do with her comments urging “patience” with Trump. Personally, I don’t think it would be healthy for the party to primary her, but I hope she doesn’t run again – especially with Schiff and Swalwell possibly waiting in the wings.

        • Petunia Cat

          Thx. Pro-death penalty, especially in what I *think* is currently a non-death penalty state is legit a red flag for me. Good to know. But yeah sounds like mostly it’s pretending centrists are beyond the pale. Schiff or Swalwell would be great!

        • differentdrummer

          She’s a long time security hawk, to the right of the party on surveillance and defence spending, but not as horrifying as the committee Rs.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Her championing of the Hetch Hetchy dam and her enablement of the US/Likud Israel nexus and her corporate backers.
        She is undefended from the theat of a primary challenge someday or other.

      • Imskeptical

        Yes, it’s “purity pony crap,” and thank you for the term. God forbid that a female Democrat should go out and raise campaign funds from those who actually have the money, corporations. Especially since those who find this so repugnant haven’t done a thing to achieve public funding of elections and also allowed the repeal of laws requiring media to provide a certain amount of free political advertising, and equal time, to partially compensate the public for the use of the airways. And OMG, a Jewish woman favoring US/Israeli alliances? The horror! I believe the Hetch Hetchy Dam was built well before Sen. Feinstein was born, so it is unclear how she “championed” it. Perhaps she just didn’t want it torn down, since it represents such a huge financial investment in infrastructure and because California needs the extremely high quality drinking water the Hetch Hetchy reservoir contains? Again, how short sighted of her. Let’s all get real: Sen. Feinstein is being attacked because she is an older woman. She’s earned the right to that job, and she can have it until she has had enough, as far as I’m concerned. Plus, we really, really need her right now: Democrats are lucky to have someone tough enough to take on the Russian-Rethuglican traitors (pretty much the entire GOP). Most Dems act like they’re afraid of a fight, whereas Sen. Feinstein is not. She is very good at her job. She said to give Trump a chance because that was the politically astute thing to say, not because she ever thought he was anything but Putin’s puppet.

        • Petunia Cat

          YES! She really is the only one who has done anything bold and decisive in response to the Republican Congress assholes. Who are let’s remind ourselves traitors or complicit with them. Everyone else is just talking around the edge of things. But she should be being lionized as a hero for releasing that transcript. Her hero status lasted what, an hour? Of course her being an older woman is part of that. She’s not the right kind of hero. 🙄

  • Zyxomma

    Gevalt.

  • Lefty Wright

    Somebody out there help me. Can anyone photoshop Trump’s face on the body of a squirrel? I be old and computer illiterate. Then we can use that to show a 6’3″, 239 pound (allegedly) squirrel every time the GOP tries to deflect attention away from Trump.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I’ll hold her beer and her earrings and if her beer gets warm I will hold ANOTHER BEER.

  • 1943hduff

    Speaking of Trump and Russia what do you(r) readers think of this revelation from Jim Risen a well known investigative Intelligence reporter. https://theintercept.com/2018/02/12/bonus-intercepted-podcast-jim-risen-goes-inside-the-nsas-secret-channel-to-russia/
    Listen to the audio version at the begin of the story.

    • Ooo spammin it!

    • pd1648

      Damn. I read the whole thing — it took less time than listening.

      And Trump thinks Vlad is his BFF.

    • Akat

      Well that’s disturbing. Also too, was Nixon actually found guilty of wiretapping? Or just obstruction of justice? I don’t understand the last bit of what this reporter is trying to assert.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Cornhole and Miss Lindsey are the Jokes of the Senate.

  • CATMAN

    It is amazing that these two clowns can ascribe the noblest of motives to the Trump White House and the most diabolical to the Democrats trying to expose the corruption–I wish I believed in a hell for these guys to get their ultimate reward

    • pd1648

      I’ve been saying that since W, and the list keeps getting longer.

      Many on the list profess to be Christians, meaning they do believe in hell. Why aren’t they terrified?

  • Rocky E

    You feed your dog “Beggin Strips”?

    • javadavis

      Our dog won’t eat those. He seems especially scornful of the bacon flavors.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    “BUT ALSO, Dianne Feinstein is the only thing holding Chuck Grassley’s
    ass to the fire at the moment, and it is a welcome surprise.”

    Yes, as a fellow Californian and DiFi disliker, this is indeed a welcome (and pleasant!) surprise.

  • Jimh
  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    Don’t like her. The first thing she said about the tax cuts is “why didn’t you cut the taxes of my friends better!!” Some of the stuff she says is ok. Like the stuff in this piece.

    • Daniel Nee

      Y mass libs are better then sf libs. Also the no gluten no “gmo” thing we want good governance not because we think we can create “justice” but because bad government is ducking dum.

  • norcalOG

    In a Top 2 Calif. primary runoff, sufficiently non progressive Sen, Feinstein would kick her opponent’s ass quite handily. Whoever that opponent might be.

    • Shes pretty tuff. But what have the romans ever done or continue to do for us?

      • Daniel Nee

        Roads? Clean water?

    • Gigglesnort

      Having, and being able to raise, more money than God helps a lot. Add that to the natural advantages of incumbency and the result is that it is pretty much her seat until she retires or dies.

      • norcalOG

        All of which, along with her appeal to moderate Democrats and independents, guarantees a significant ass kicking for any opponent.

    • Newzheimer

      That opponent would be Kevin DeLeon, former Speaker (or something) of the state assembly, who’s being termed out. Methinks he should start smaller, like running for Congress in one of those vulnerable Republican districts, rather than going at DiFi like a rabid goat.

      Everyone knows he’s going to lose. She’ll stomp all over him in her heels and have what’s left for breakfast.

      • Imskeptical

        OMG, thank you for this post! LOVE the imagery. And I agree. Damn, she’s good.

  • I would hold a case of beer for her if she actually beat that old cornholer Grassley like a rented mule.

  • stubbornirishlass

    Never been a DiFi fan, just wish she would put that toughness and experience to good use more often. She has her moments, but California can do better.

    • norcalOG

      Kevin deLeon? Please.

      • stubbornirishlass

        Pretty sure I did not say that, nor did I even say she should be primaried, but whatever. You know, California is a big place with a lot of potential candidates should she decide she doesn’t want to run again. I made mention of some of those possibilities downthread. You can complain if you prefer about purity ponies, but this ain’t North Dakota where Heidi Heitkamp is the best Dems can hope for. California can and should send the best we have to D.C., and while DiFi has her strengths, she has given us plenty to be pissed about as well.

        • norcalOG

          Democrats need to operate out of a big tent. One that has room liberals, moderates, and moderate conservatives. One that welcomes Joe Manchin and Kamala Harris.
          Otherwise, if only the most worthy and ideologically pure are acceptable, we’ll be looking at at a Senate that tilts 65-35 Republican—or worse—for years to come.

          • stubbornirishlass

            Nope, not in Cali we don’t. The exact same electorate sent Boxer back year after year. I have no concern whatsoever about our state needing to appeal to military hawks by electing Blue Dogs. If anything, we need to use every bit of our progressive power to balance out the Manchins we have to tolerate.

          • norcalOG

            Boxer was originally elected because Repubs nominated an idiot instead of a more electable moderate.
            Take off the blinders. The same electorate has also sent Feinstein back year after year. That should tell you something.

          • stubbornirishlass

            It tells me that Feinstein is always the Democratic option on the ballot, and a known and respected quantity with whom Californians feel, at a minimum, comfortable. Your responses border on offensive. First you put words in my mouth, and now blinders, seriously? I don’t agree with you. Deal with it. I have voted for DiFi every time, but I do not doubt that this state would happily vote for Schiff or Swalwell or any number of others. She is not some irreplaceable goddess, for crying out loud.

          • norcalOG

            You spoke for California (not in Cali WE don’t). You responded to me. By speaking for Cali? I don’t agree with you. Deal with that.
            And, again, she’ll kick whomever’s ass is in the general opposite her. You may as well deal with that too.
            P.S. Schiff would be a very good replacement.

  • Jeff Mobile Rob

    Ya, DiFi is not my favorite Democrat by a long shot. But I’m fine with her going after the Republican liars and obstructionists.

  • Friday’s_cat

    DiFi like Bill&Hill is what republicans used to be before they caught the crazy.

    • Jeff Mobile Rob

      I moved to San Francisco when DiFi was mayor. Never a dull moment, and DiFi was busy too. Check out her run ins with the porn empire of the Mitchell Brothers. Freedom of speech, we don’t need no stinking freedom of speech! Hunter Thompson was in the mix too, so, yeah, here we are.

    • Imskeptical

      So? Politics was also much saner then, and the country was better off, including economically. We weren’t a damned banana republic like now, with the very rich and then the rest of us 98% who couldn’t survive 2 months without a paycheck. Even the lower middle class had money in the bank for a rainy day. Not like now.

  • Leftflank

    Maybe I’m a hopeless optimist but I think DiFi could hang on to the beer, knee GrassAss in the nuts and drop sissy Graham with a left jab to the solar plexus, then take a chug or a sip of wine, which seems more ladylike.

  • kindness

    I vote against DiFi in the primaries but hold my nose and vote for her in the General every time. Edrix is right. DiFi is too conservative to be a San Francisco Democrat.

    • norcalOG

      But not so for a California Democrat whose ranks include plenty of fiscally conservative, socially liberal voters. Add plenty of independents, and you have a consistent winner.

      • Imskeptical

        Amen. And we really, really, really need her right now. Constitutional crisis.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Hetch Hetchy Dam (wasted a most colorful part of Yosemite) Thanks, Senator (then-time SF mayor) Diane.
      Maybe the primary opponent could do similar Grass asskick and Grahamcrackering.
      Her foreign policy game is rightwardly leaning to boot.

      • mary5920

        What did she do in regard to Hetch Hetchy Dam?
        I haven’t lived in S.F. for many years, but remember very well the tragic announcement Feinstein had to make as a Commissioner when Dan White murdered Mayor Moscone and Commissioner Harvey Milk. I always kind of admired her; she’s got nerves of steel.

        • little miss high and mighty

          http://www.hetchhetchy.org/_two_grand_valleys_and_senator
          _feinstein

          she needs some conscious raising, eco-wise.
          not just on hetchy.

          • mary5920

            I agree.

          • Imskeptical

            Your link doesn’t work, but I suspect you are finding fault with Feinstein based on hindsight, when her view may have been solidly in the majority at the time. That’s a favorite tactic these days.

          • little miss high and mighty

            we also get blank beneath the Hetch Hetchy site head.
            Try googling Hetch Hetchy/ Sen.Feinstein
            The Muir/Eco crowd in Cal are still sore.
            I am sore about Jerusalem and the Cal (+west) poverty denial
            Some of her bad is very current.
            Why she is doing the deed on Grass. and Graham- she is justifiably worried about her left.
            Finding traitors and incometents and worse amoung the Repubs is easy pickings

      • norcalOG

        Hetch Hetchy was dammed in the 1920’s. DeLeon can’t carry her briefcase, much less deal with the Grassley, etc. she’s a moderate who deals in reality. Popular with a large cross section of Democrats, independents, and some Republicans. In a run-off with KD, she wins, minimum 60-40.

        • little miss high and mighty

          It is not about building the dam- we know well when it was erreced.
          It is about easements and minimizing the ongoing damage and waste and urban sprawl directly tagged onto the H-H mess. Her allies in the fight against the RESTORE group are mostly Repubs and her creditors’ voard members.

          • norcalOG

            So, because of THAT, she’s a tainted candidate and not worthy of re-election? Best wishes if you’re looking for a candidate who fits each and every nook and cranny you’ve got.

          • little miss high and mighty

            See our comment below and remember at her next term’s end she wil be over 90 years old almost Hollings territory

          • Conor Gladstone

            Ageist drivel lmhm- get some priorities

          • little miss high and mighty

            restore IS a priority.
            As well as getting to the richies and the wannabes
            Besides,D.F.: BUSH tax cuts? Palestine & other critical foreign interests?
            Per Euro terms she is a rightist.
            Per San Fransisco terms, the same.
            I am agreeing with our Editrix
            Where’re your priorities?
            PS we love our olds here. We work well with them daily.

    • Betty Eyer

      She’s not my favorite either. And it’s time for people her age to mentor someone else, not run.

      • Imskeptical

        This is the WORST possible time to replace Dianne Feinstein. If things were not the mess they are, she probably would have chosen to retire. Let’s be grateful she is willing to do this job long enough to save the country from Putin/Trump and the GOP/Trump/Putin coverup. Most of the GOP have turned out to be traitors to democracy.

        • Betty Eyer

          Are you saying that the DNC can’t find anyone else to win in that district? That there is no one else who will “save the country”? That the DNC can’t find talent or experience in people under 80? Really?

        • lurch394

          Really? Have you visited California? Have you looked at our local media on the web? We control all the branches of government.

      • Pan T. Free

        Nice ageism. Way to empower your own gender. You have problems with her personally, or her politics, fine. Then run or find other people who can do better. Until then GFY.

        • Betty Eyer

          I really don’t think anyone should run for election if they will be older than the average life expectancy at that time. I think it is selfish and irresponsible on their part. By the time you hit 85 years old, you are approaching a 50% chance of some sort of senility. The chances that they will need to be replaced with an emergency vote or similar is high. We have an age limit on how old you have to be to be elected, I see nothing wrong with having a top end on that. On average, the DNC is old and shockingly enough, it’s having some trouble engaging younger voters.

          I don’t take orders from random strangers on the internet.

  • goonemeritus

    I think that spunky Miss Feinstein could really make something of herself with these kind of moves.

  • differentdrummer

    I must condemn in the strongest possible terms the lack of dick jokes after you publicly stated your intention to add dick jokes!

  • MOG253

    The never-ending defer, deflect, distract .

  • M.E. Lawrence

    “YES, it is TRUE that Dianne Feinstein is too conservative a Democrat to
    properly represent California, and a primary from the left would make
    very much sense. BUT ALSO, Dianne Feinstein is the only thing holding
    Chuck Grassley’s ass to the fire at the moment, and it is a welcome
    surprise.”

    Never underestimate DiFi. She is not a flaming leftie, but she is smart and experienced, and knows how to wait until the hour is right to pounce. And I like to think she’s working with Kamala Harris to polish her pouncing skills as well, in readiness for the day when K.H. is senior senator from California (or perhaps something even more exciting).

    • Teto85

      Duckworth/Harris 2020!!!!!

    • Imskeptical

      And, we NEED DiFi more than ever, right now, when we are in uncharted Constitutional crisis due to the Prez being owned by Putin and every single person in the line of succession (per said Constitution) being in on either the silent coup of November 2016 or the coverup, making them all traitors. We need VERRRY experienced Feinstein and others to steer us through this mess or US will dissolve into anarchy or totalitarianism, IMO. We are almost an oligarchy right now, and it wouldn’t take much of a miscalculation to shove us all the way over.

  • Thank you editrix for owning up to the fact that Ms Feinstein is not St Joan. We work with what we we have.

  • Gloria Good

    I don’t understand why the editrix felt the need to intrude on this article with her poorly-reasoned opinion. “I used to live in California and I don’t like Diane Feinstein”–like, who cares? Write your own dumb article, if you want to get that across.

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