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They’re so divisive. (And gorgeous)

The official portraits of Barack and Michelle Obama were unveiled at the National Portrait Gallery, and by god we like ’em. Some people are griping because they aren’t photorealistic depictions of Barry and Michelle, but that’s exactly what we like about them. Kehinde Wiley’s painting of President Obama actually puts him in a fairly traditional, if somewhat casual pose, no tie, but sitting in a chair looking like he’s thinking of … destroying America probably, or perhaps trying to figure out how he’s going to save it, more like. Or maybe he’s trying to recall the name of the bad guy in a Conan the Barbarian comic. He really is such a nerd.

Oh, but all that greenery! This is the president in a garden (or, strangely, hovering in one?), a president whose first lady was famous for her garden at the White House. Put him in the garden, then, in a green place that’s as lush as his native Hawaii. We won’t Freshman Art it to death, but damn, it’s nice.

The New York Times artsplains:

From the greenery sprout flowers that have symbolic meaning for the sitter. African blue lilies represent Kenya, his father’s birthplace; jasmine stands for Hawaii, where Mr. Obama himself was born; chrysanthemums, the official flower of Chicago, reference the city where his political career began, and where he met his wife.

We loved this tweet, too:

And then there’s Amy Sherald’s portrait of Michelle Obama, which at first seems muted, but then you start noticing the colors in the dress (a design by Michelle Smith, the NYT informs us couture dolts) and that pose that’s as serious as a presidential portrait. More artsplaining:

Ms. Sherald also starts with realism, but softens and abstracts it. She gives all her figures gray-toned skin — a color with ambiguous racial associations — and reduces bodies to geometric forms silhouetted against single-color fields.

Yr Editrix, who IS an art critic, had this to say:

They’re both gorgeous paintings, and we don’t mind saying half of that is because we’re taken by their subjects.

Not everybody loved ’em. Fox News had a little difficulty settling on a headline for its story. Originally (we love the Wayback Machine) it was “Michelle Obama portrait faces social media mockery after unveiling.” That actually got meaner after a while, morphing into “Michelle Obama portrait faces brutal mockery after unveiling.” Apparently that was TOO mean, since, as of right now, it’s “Michelle Obama portrait faces brutal mockery, some praise after unveiling.” Isn’t that nice of them? The piece noted that several people on Twitter insisted it wasn’t even really a painting of Michelle Obama, possibly because they only remember her from Twitter memes and Ben Garrison cartoons as a screaming harpy shoveling junk food in her face while making YOUR kids eat cardboard.

Ben Shapiro was classy as ever:

To be fair, the Fox piece also included some people who really liked the portraits, plus some from Obama fans who thought Michelle might not have liked the portrait, which strikes us as nuts.

Noted aesthete Rush Limbaugh was thoroughly disgusted by the paintings and by liberals’ reactions to them, because like a bunch of sheeple we’re all saying we like them because we like the Obamas:

The conservative host zeroed in on CNN and “some guy named Fallon” — former Hillary Clinton campaign spokesman Brian Fallon. Limbaugh claimed that Fallon stopped just short of crying. And in a highly mocking tone, the host mimicked the Clinton staffer’s remarks.

“Oh my God this is so wonderful!” A highly sarcastic Limbaugh said. “To have braininess back. To have intelligence, to have people we could be proud of!”

By way of counterpoint, Rush Limbaugh is a fucking idiot.

One more and we’re out:

They are just saying, racist white people, THEY ARE JUST SAYING!

It’s now your OPEN THREAD! Talk about art if you want! Or about something else! You know how this works.

Update: We would be remiss if we failed to include this essential Chicago perspective from Chris Hayes:

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money, like a genuine patron of the arts. With dick jokes.

[NYT / WaPo / Fox News / Mediaite]

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  • TJ Barke

    God I wish I had enough money to emigrate…

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      No. These assholes made me leave one country already.

      • janecita

        What country was that?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Russia. Weren’t you around for that?

          • janecita

            No, I missed that.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Yep, first generation

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Is Sean Spicer holding up Barack’s chair?

  • renegade500

    I think the portraits are beautiful even if Michelle’s doesn’t actually look like her. But I am loving that dress she’s wearing in the portrait.

  • Thiazin Red

    I like Barack’s but Michelle’s is washed out, the proportions are weird and doesn’t even look like her.

    • PubOption

      The version used on Wonkette is much better than the, presumably lower resolution, image I first saw. That version (ABC News) could honestly have been anybody. Barack’s is unmistakable, the background is a bit odd but it doesn’t take anything away from the portrait.

  • MANGO CRIMES
    • CaliCheeseSucks

      There has been some funkiness with embeds for the last few days. If an image or media/social media link doesn’t embed, find an excuse to edit the comment (i.e., just add a random period or something) and save – it should then correct itself.

      • MANGO CRIMES

        it didn’t at first, but it started working magically after a couple refreshes. I’d say “weird”, but: Disqus.

  • big_damn_jericho

    Nice reference to Ben Garrison.

    “But what does it MEAN?”, said nobody after looking at a Ben Garrison cartoon.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      What does the label say?

      • MynameisBlarney

        “All the words, but nothing.”

      • big_damn_jericho

        It says that Ben Garrison has a 4th grade boy’s understanding of the world.

  • Nounverb911

    Why is Barry floating in the ivy at Wrigley Field? Isn’y he a White Sox fan?

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Barack’s looks like it would make an awesome Talking Heads album cover

  • janecita

    I don’t like Michelle Obama’s portrait, it is too muted for my taste. She is a beautiful woman, that painting doesn’t do her justice.

    • Thiazin Red

      Barack’s is powerful and cool, she should have something equally cool. I like the idea of breaking with the traditional portrait and the symbolism of choosing black artists, but I still don’t like Michelle’s.

    • Ellie

      I think that I agree. I wasn’t crazy about it, but wasn’t sure just why. Muted. Yes. She is so vibrant and that picture isn’t. But art is not something on which everyone agrees. I like his portrait.

  • Scooby

    Funny Ben Shapiro chooses a Russian painter.

    • janecita

      Is that a Chagall?

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Kandinsky.

        • janecita

          Thanks, I had never seen that particular painting before.

      • Scooby

        Kandinsky

        • data_ninja

          YesweKandisky?

        • janecita

          Thanks:-)

  • Thiazin Red

    Hidden bonus of the new lab location, our benches are between the hot professors’ benches. One of them we nicknamed The Professor like on Gilligan’s Island, because he is completely oblivious to anything not science including all the women thinking hes hot. Other one will now be named Hot Australian hipster Proff in my head.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Kehinde Wiley is one of my favorite contemporary artists. Sometimes I go to the mia to stare at his painting there.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    I just checked, and it turns out this album is nearly 25 years old! If I met this album in a bar, I would buy it a drink and awkwardly hit on it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHuXpWSNa-8

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Oh geez. I remember dancing around my dorm room to this. I don’t feel old, but damn, 25 years is a long time.

    • I am definitely the old guy at the bar embarrassing myself by trying to buy this album a car or something.

  • La forza del resistino

    They’re more fearful that generations of DC school fields trips visit the gallery, look up and think they look like me, I could be just like him or her.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Hah I just noticed how exaggeratedly huge Barry’s hands are. Trolling Trump?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I don’t particularly care for either of one, but that isn’t Barack’s fault. Or the artist’s. Does that make me a Republican?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We don’t have to adore every depiction of our former Fearless Leaders. We have brains and use them, and different tastes and celebrate that.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Depends on how angry you are that the portraits exist; or that the Obamas exist. If you’re just meh, then you’re not a Republican. If you’re in a foaming rage and feel the need to tell people how you feel about these paintings, only you’re almost too furious to do more than bark out a few racist memes, that’s your “RepublicanMeter” right there.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump’s gonna have his face painted over Jeebus’s for his portrait….
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a638da86ef38e349360793847e9e384b358c73e9aca795a3840ba36c956ee494.jpg

  • Jgb979

    OMG THEYRE BLACK!

    (Still conservatives everywhere)

  • maxneanderthal

    I’m surprised Sux news doesn’t have Boclin’s “Isle of the Dead” as a studio backdrop- just so the dogs can be sure they heard the whistle…

  • mancityRed6

    so all the talk about having me call in sick today due to the ice down south and I still called in sick. fever, achy joints (and not the good kind), and I’m starting to wonder if I have the flu.
    yay.

    • Toomush Stability

      I don’t know why I upfisted this. I hope you don’t have the flu, really…

    • Ellie

      Sorry to read that. Hope it’s just a cold and NOT flu!

    • renegade500

      Is there a good kind of achy joints?

      (I hope you’re feeling better soon.)

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    I think I know the problem – art should make you think. And that doesn’t work with people whose brains have atrophied to the size of kidney beans.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Art should also too trigger feelings. If all you got is hate…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Bamz should have trolled them all by having W paint him.

    • Toomush Stability

      Oh, you know Bamz is on W’s bucket list of “people to paint”…

      • …something tells me that W has several Bamz hidden from the family and that Bamz may prove to be his most painted subject, only to be discovered after W’s passing when family members go through his stuff in the attic.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The “Paint By Numbers; The Obamas” book has not been released yet.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I’m always reminded of the story of a famous Russian actress who greeted a guest and said she had taken up painting. Asked for a sample of her work, she displayed a blank canvas and announced that it was entitled “the Hebrews crossing the Red Sea, pursue by the armies of the Pharaoh”.

      “But, where are the Hebrews?”

      “They have already crossed”

      “But, where is the Red Sea?”

      “It is still parted”

      “But, where are the armies of the Pharaoh?”

      “They’re on their way, give them a minute”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I would’ve preferred a portrait of Michelle surrounded by dozens of fat, whimpering white men crawling around at her feet, begging her not to kick their asses any more.

  • Manders

    Ben Shapiro’s whole fucking thread is making fun of these portraits.

    Just in case anyone thinks right wingers actually care about the dignity of the President, the person or the office.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Or art.

      • Manders

        Oh, I don’t expect them to care about art, unless they like it. Otherwise it’s frivolous.

        But I constantly see people saying it’s not okay to make fun of Trump, his wife or his family because President.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          Yeah, but the fact that he used a really excellent Kandinsky for what he thought would be a diss shows that he doesn’t even understand art.

          • Manders

            I believe that. He barely understands the things he claims to have knowledge of.

          • Ellie

            I agree about Ben, but I still don’t love Kandinsky…except when I do. Never mind.

          • Blanche de Shambles

            At least you probably know enough of his work to make an informed judgement.

          • Erala Contratista

            Know what you mean! Not a Kandinsky fan, but that one I love.
            Art and wine….like what you like and keep looking/tasting.

    • TJ Barke

      Ben is a shitpile.

      • Manders

        Amen to that.

        • TJ Barke

          I really hate that little pseudo intellectual hack.

          • big_damn_jericho

            Oh, c’mon. Guys like him, Dinesh D’Souza and Jonah Goldberg are the Intellectual Leadership of the GOP now.

          • TJ Barke

            Pack of jackals.
            Jackals libel…

          • Manders

            Many of the posts are much worse than the stupid Kandinsky (which doesn’t even make sense). A lot of the posts about the Obama painting are wildly homophobic (oh noes! A man posing with flowers!).

  • gallbladder

    Wherefore art?

  • Shrieking Harpy

    “To have braininess back. To have intelligence, to have people we could be proud of”–if only.

  • WiscoJoe

    Gee, I just don’t understand why we no longer need photorealistic portraits of people who have been heavily photographed…

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    I mean, ok, they’re both great. But when I saw Barack’s for the first time, all I could think of was this: https://m.popkey.co/c2f403/NJK3x_s-200×150.gif

    • Roadstergal

      Spicer libelz!!

  • Blockhead Squared

    Shapiro’s chosen image is more symbolic of the state of his addled, rabid brain than anything else. Wonder what he has on his walls, I seriously doubt it’s Kandinsky. I doubt he knows who Kandinsky was. My guess is he’s one of those dogs playing poker people. Or posters from a Jerry Bruckenheimer movies.

    Shaddup you jackass.

    • gallbladder

      Elvis’s last supper on black velvet.

      • Blockhead Squared

        Fat, speed freak Elvis.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      “Or posters from a Jerry Bruckenheimer movies.”

      Con Air and Armageddon libelz!

  • Ruth Serafini

    His portrait is nice. It’s pretty. Hers, though… omg. I don’t usually think of presidential portraits as something I want a print of, but damn. And it’s so perfectly HER.

  • I dunno. Looks like some good ass ort to me.

  • MC Planck

    OT: Salon, which is unuseable without an ad blocker, just put up a blocking message asking you to either whitelist them… or allow them to use your “unused computing power.”

    Yes, that’s right, Salon, once an important on-line news site, has become a bit-coin mining virus scam.

    I don’t understand how a democracy can function without a free and competent press. I mean, Wonkette is great, but it (and other sites like it) can’t replace national news services. Can they? I guess we’re about to find out.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Wait…your processor isn’t being used to mine wonkcoins? How did you manage to swing that?

    • Thiazin Red

      They also went full fucking crazy town.

    • Unhappy Fingers

      Yipe. Hostility and/or contempt towards the reader’s experience would seem to be such a WINNING strategy towards getting more income and reader loyalty.

      Just looked at the site using Chrome instead of my ad-blocked Safari. Barely tolerable. And this is with Chrome being able to keep video things from auto-playing.

      I hope this does not go well and they try a different business model. Soon.

    • greyXstar

      That’s just a cosmically stupid business move. Also too, bananacoin or gtfo

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    There are plenty of news organizations that act as stenographers for politicians; this was a brilliant move for the Obamas and for the art world. They were already familiar with the body of work of the two artists and I think it’s great that the Obamas trusted their respective artists to interpret who they are as people and national figures.

  • Toomush Stability

    I dunno. I think there should be more muscle tone in Michelle’s upper arms…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yep. She should be dead-lifting Donald Trump with one arm, muscles bulging.

      • everstar

        I vote for her piledriving him.

  • anon_the_great

    After three paragraphs I realized who the fuck cares about FOX news fascist, racist opinion on anything, especially art.

    Get back to me about when the Jeanine Pirro doll in a vial of urine is a thing.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      Piss Pirro.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      That’s not a doll, and that’s Donald’s Rule 34 folder.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    HA HA YES, TO HAVE BRAININESS BACK!! THAT IS HILARIOUS!!! BECAUSE, LIKE, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE WITH DONALD TRUMP, STABLE GENIUS, STANDING IN THE OVAL OFFICE PROBABLY WIPING GREASY BURGER FINGERS ON THE CURTAINS AS WE SPEAK????
    [sobs uncontrollably in corner]

  • Villago Delenda Est

    That Virgin Ben thing looks more like a self portrait of Donald Trump.

    • lowenufc

      Who would let Donnie near the fingerpaints without supervision?

  • William
    • Covfefe

      Blond was good enough for Jesus.

  • BadKitty904

    Former National Security Aide for Trump to Teach at Harvard
    https://www.apnews.com/f616e7bc4dc7410c953b9cc1c6e0de2f/Former-national-security-aide-for-Trump-to-teach-at-Harvard

    A former aide to President Donald Trump is headed to Harvard University to teach diplomacy and foreign affairs.

    The Ivy League school said Monday that Dina Powell, the former deputy national security adviser, will teach seminars and study groups over the next year as a non-resident senior fellow.

    Powell is among several Trump aides who left after his first year in office. She previously worked for Goldman Sachs and the administration of former President George W. Bush.

  • Gzuss

    His hands look huge, lol! Take that Donald!

    • Roadstergal

      That was the VERY FIRST THING I NOTICED when I saw the portraits on the Facebooks.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Scooby

    These guys criticizing it wouldn’t know a Monet from a Manet.

    • BadKitty904

      Monet’s a kinda wine and manet’s what your woman puts on your roast-beef sammich, amirite?

      • Roadstergal

        Manet had the plays with all of the swearing?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Maybe if your wife hates you? Roast beef calls for horseradish.

        • BadKitty904

          I don’t think Republicans eat anything that flavorful.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Fair point.

          • BadKitty904

            It could lead to sin. Or something.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ooh, is horsey sauce a gateway drug to hot sexx of all consenting-adult varieties and the wimmenz demanding bodily autonomy?
            No wonder I like it so much!

          • BadKitty904

            With those freaks, who knows…

  • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

    I’m warming up to Barack’s portrait because it reflects a redefinition of masculinity (especially Leader/Alpha Dog masculinity) that Barack embodied. The greatest human calling is making good things grow.

    As for Michelle: I agree – it could be a better likeness, but I love the attitude, the palette, and the dress.

  • Along the lines of Chris Hayes’ response to the Barack portrait, my initial reaction while watching the unveiling was, “oh shit, the artist didn’t know B.barry.Bamz is a White Sox fan.”

    Alas, I’m a critic and a bit of a cynic, but I’m not not a cynical art critic.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Barack with an Afro, a spliff, and a black power salute would’ve been cool too.

    • Bobathonic

      He’s got to save something for the postage stamp.

  • bongo fury

    eh, they’re ok i guess

  • Daniel

    1) Shapiro mocks Michelle Obama and her portraitist by comparing their picture to a Kandinsky. “I shall insult you by saying your work resembles one of the twentieth century’s greatest artists. Take that!”

    2) the same people decrying a picture of a black woman holding a severed white woman’s head will pretend to be deeply moved by Caravaggio’s David with the head of Goliath or any number of Judiths and Holofernes. Because those are biblical.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      Today, we are all Judith.

    • Scooby

      I got $50 says he thinks that’s a Jackson Pollack.

      • Roadstergal

        I’m not taking the other side of that bet.

        • Daniel

          Is that a Kandinsky double canvas joke?

          • Roadstergal

            I wish. My undergrad was all STEM, all the time.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Picasso. I’d be surprised if he can name more than 5 painters.

        • Daniel

          Correctly.

        • Scooby

          He called Pablo Picasso an asshole.

          • Tundrafig

            Wrong! Pablo Picasso NEVER got called an asshole!

          • aureolaborealis

            Girls could not resist his stare.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Biblical murder is Christianist

      • Daniel

        As is ignoring the point of biblical murder entirely when it allows you to get flustered over an artist depicting a decapitation.

        Conservatives have a real problem with fictional beheadings.

    • Blanche de Shambles
      • everstar

        It’s one of the wall fixtures from Jean Cocteau’s Beauty and the Beast.

    • little miss high and mighty

      on the other hand “Me Too” extremists are demanding the removal of Chuck Close self portraits (face only). ?????? (NYT)

  • BadKitty904

    Myownself, I think Bamz is far handsomer than that portrait reflects. I’d also feel better if someone would check that hedge behind Barry and make sure Sean Sphincter isn’t hiding in it.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget
    • Bobathonic

      Wait, there are people who don’t read Wonkette?

      Ok, that explains a lot, actually.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    A president with a sense of self-deprecating humor. How does that work?

    At a ceremony Monday to unveil portraits of him and former first lady Michelle Obama, the former president said artist Kehinde Wiley cheerfully ignored almost all of his suggestions.

    “He listened very thoughtfully to what I had to say before doing exactly what he always intended to do,” he said. “I tried to negotiate less gray hair but Kehinde’s artistic integrity would not allow it. I tried to negotiate smaller ears and struck out on that as well.”

    http://denver.cbslocal.com/2018/02/12/obama-artist-smaller-ears-less-gray-hair/

    • Daniel

      Trump’s portrait will be two enormous hands and a tiny arse under a mane of lush hair.

  • Nounverb911

    In news from other un-natural snowflake sources…
    https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/962823076072296455

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Could these portraits be the reason why the Taint wants to eliminate the NEA? Because he will never have the sheer grace exhibited by both the portraitists and their subjects?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      But he thinks he will on a gold shitter with his Titter phone.

  • Nounverb911
  • WotsAllThisThen

    That greenery… It’s arugula! Inpeech!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Wrigley Field is in Chicago.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Across the street from Dunkin donuts.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        I thought that was just Fenway Pahk.

    • Not to mention it’s the Cub’s ballpark, and Obama is a White Sox fan.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    This comment intentionally left blank.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    OT: broke 10k upfists: yay

    Didn’t notice: boo

    • janecita

      One of us, one of us!!!

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Gabba gabba

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        So we gonna hang out, or what? Cause I might hafta go back on the roids, and they don’t make me ragey but they do make me sleepy

        • janecita

          When are you going to start taking them? I’ve a conference in Elizabeth on the last week of April. We could go get a drink on the last day. I usually drive up north once a week to visit my mom, but she is in FL until June. And I don’t known when I’m going to my accountant because I’m still waiting for my etrade forms, so April would be great plus it will be warmer:-)

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            I’ll get back to you by next Monday

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Wait, April, not March, Duh. That should be fine.

            EDIT:

            Probably. Not 100% certain, but 99%

    • BadKitty904
  • Proud Liberal
    • janecita

      Poor Palestinians, they are so fucked:-(

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      So we’re outsourcing the State Department to Moscow. Wonderful.

    • So… Trump is taking the solving the Middle East problem away from Jared?

    • HogeyeGrex

      And none of the Trumpistas are going to have a problem with this. Literal traitors. Holy fuck.

  • ltmcdies

    Wanna really get them burning at FOX…. should a been a tan suit

  • docmarvy

    I’m glad we know what Rush thinks. I often take my aesthetic advice from a trash can filled with cheeseburgers and OxyContin.

    • William
      • Ling Ling

        and reasoned, erudite opinion

        • little miss high and mighty

          an fresh goobies

      • Daniel

        “And that’s why, Gary, I think you can argue day in day out about representations of the psyche in the early Expressionist paintings of Franz Marc, but for their truest and rawest expression you have to go to Kokoschka. Next up- Max Brod and the raking of the Viennese neuroses in literature. Stay tuned.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah, when you want a critique of a velvet paint of Reagan and Jesus together, then maybe ask Rush.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Rush Limbaugh: The Original Oxy Moron.

    • Cock Blockula

      Someone should tell him that horizontal stripes make him look fat.

      Even solid colors make him look fat.

    • “M”

      Who shouts. Indoors.

  • Rick Hill

    Of course the painting of Michelle is odd. It’s a portrait of her while she was transitioning… and the one of Obama is his contemplating not being able to have a full on man dressed as a lady but a man whose been sliced and diced to be that way. Obummer, you see.

  • Amy!

    I am culturally incompetent. So the portraits, on their merits, don’t really appeal to me much (and Michelle’s less than Barack’s).

    However, I am also aware that I’m a fucking heathen (I’ve hung out with artists since I was in elementary school; I may be a barbarian, but I got friends with culture, see?). And what I really, without reservation, admire about these portraits? Like the president and first lady that they represent, they break an ossified pattern, one in which the only permissible style for official portraits is the one that safely emulates the great Renaissance Dutch artists, with vastly less heart or imagination (or worse, the photorealistic variation of that). People who have the sorts of positions that the Obamas (both!) held have a sort of obligation to seek out the leaders in other fields, and to do what they can to support them. That happened.

    That the styles don’t particularly ring with me, or with some other fucking heathens who (arguably) have no taste or kulcher? Trivial.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      I concur!

  • Bobathonic

    Please, trigger warning next time you show BARE ARMS!!!!11!pffft!

  • little miss high and mighty

    Great Story, DOK,
    Why is there no emorously famous painter’s credit on the Kandinsky?
    And is Ben Shapiro trying to prove his unculture redibility by assumig C

  • OneYieldRegular

    I dunno, I love them. SO much better than the official Donald Trump painting:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c0b8c94a6299287afffeabd00cc0cd58ba7bdd02ca20aa7e1b6308058e05a46b.jpg

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      That’s pretty impressive composure! Just think, having a full grown 239lb man living inside your bung chute, and just sitting there casually smirking like that!

  • BigCSouthside

    A few months back I saw one of Wiley’s paintaings. It’s fucking awesome. I didn’t know he was doing Obamas. I really like it. It’s exactly the type of portrait he needed. Wiley paints black men in powerful positions usually based off of classical works. Fitting that he’d paint the most powerful black man in a simple, casual position.

    • jowgajen

      I find Obama himself to look incredibly powerful in that portrait. The hands of a man who has built things, the eyes of a man who knows things, and the shoulders of a man who has carried great responsibility well.

      • BigCSouthside

        It’s so atypical of presidential portraits. They are usually set somewhere in the White House, power poses, dark and drab. He has none of the accoutrements of power in this painting, just him, in a bright setting. Really impressed with it.

        I liked Kennedy’s for similar reasons, he was American royalty, and he’s depicted alone in a pensive, almost vulnerable state.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      This is a long read, but yes, and Renaissance and the Pre-Raphealites had a thing for nature that was different than in the preceding centuries. Flowers could still represent other qualities but the natural world took on a life on its own and not just representative of Biblical stories or ecclesiastical theory.

      http://artintheblood.typepad.com/art_history_today/2011/03/landscape-and-symbol.html

  • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

    Not a Kandinsky! Not a Kandinsky! You’re the Kandinsky!

  • VirginiaHighFiber

    Obama’s portrait is amazing. II’m not an art critic and I find it unusually beautiful and darned fitting. A POTUS who tried to help our planet. 45’s will show him in a dumpster fire or worse.

    • Ling Ling

      Trumpolini will be decked out in a Khadaffi uniform and trim enough to actually weigh only 239 pounds.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Surrounded by piles of gold, no doubt.

  • Nounverb911
  • spangled

    I really like them! They’re not stuffy, faux-classical paintings, they feel modern in a good way.

  • greyXstar

    Fantastic portraits of fantastic people. I can’t even begin to give a single fuck what decidedly un-fantastic people have to say.

  • Daniel

    Does Fox or any other conservative outlet make art programmes?

    • Goposaur

      I consider “Fox and Friends” as some sort of weird experimental performance art of a sort.

      Something along the lines of the Monty Python mouse organ skit.

      • Daniel

        I was thinking like Limbaugh’s Louvre or Fauvism, with Steve Doocey.
        Pirro on Pointillism
        The Blue Rider with Hannity
        Dix! A Fox News Guide to Expressionism

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And now an announcer with three buttocks…

    • everstar

      Good gods, no. Art is for elitists and snobs. Real hard-workin’ Murricans don’t bother with all that nonsense.

  • Rick Hill

    Well, those folks are used to art more in line with poker playing dogs or this, Napolean croissant the alps: https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/abMZBBO_460s.jpg

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      You laugh, but Bannon commissioned a portrait of himself as Napoleon.

      Think he’s insecure about his wee oui oui?

  • BadKitty904

    Satellites Show Warming Is Accelerating Sea Level Rise
    https://www.apnews.com/cf2f9386c024449aae126351d6c67cde/Satellites-show-warming-is-accelerating-sea-level-rise

    Melting ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica are speeding up the already fast pace of sea level rise, new satellite research shows.

    At the current rate, the world’s oceans on average will be at least 2 feet (61 centimeters) higher by the end of the century compared to today, according to researchers who published in Monday’s Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2cbf120f0d2c34bebd798c1844e5afddb1cde0b16318b724a8d005088851483.gif

    • Nounverb911
      • BadKitty904
        • IMPOed

          Awwww, poor thing….

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          You are welcome here in the Pacific Northwest! You just need to adjust to having no actual sunlight for 6 months out of the year.

          • BadKitty904

            As a redhead, I’d prolly thrive in mists. But it would still break my heart.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Just think of all the richly-embroidered velvet capes you could wear while brooding! (No, for real, though, I want to move back to California)

          • BadKitty904

            Given that California is rapidly becoming the last remnant of America, that might be a good idea…

    • yyyaz

      Geriartric Orange Pus-sac: “Fake news! Shut them down!”

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      New York in 2100: Arrivederci Little Italy, buon giorno Little Venice.

    • bupkus231

      Times Square and Grand Central Station Concourse.

      BTW, Wall Street is 6 feet lower than Times Square

  • Nasty Woman Persisted

    I like his portrait, but don’t see Michelle in hers. I don’t need photographic portraits, but I would like something looking like the sitter. To me, “they all” don’t “look alike”.

  • JaveyDay
    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      And this is why I was always creeped out by Toy Story.

  • Proud Liberal
    • bupkus231

      I wonder if that woman gesturing in front of the statue is now regretting her choice of actions….

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Melania will have the first official nude portrait.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I WANNA HOLD YOUR SHIFT KEY BITCH
    I WANNA HOLD IT BITCH

    — the Deep-Statles

    /wrong thread

  • Master Contrail Program

    Thulsa Doom is the name of the Conan villain, and possibly the current head of Oklahoma’s EPA? The H is silent much like the agency.

  • OTB

    Shorter Fox News: Darker, grayer, different.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Whiter, dumber… same old shit.

  • Rick Hill
  • William

    I like the painting. I also remember when we had a President. https://youtu.be/gZR1CvSQntE

    • Roadstergal

      I can’t watch videos at work, but from the title alone, I can see that this is not something we would ever get from Trump.

      • IMPOed

        But hey, he gets to ride around on one of those scooter rideabouts!!

        • Roadstergal

          I guess any walk Drumpf takes is a surprise to everyone around, especially him.

  • Widdle Kim

    Let’s see if Donnie can resist tweeting out something idiotic about them in the wee hours of tomorrow morning. I doubt it.

    • Hiss

      No chance. Surprised he hasn’t already.

    • Parakeetist

      I don’t think he’ll wait that long.

  • Daniel

    Trump and Melania’s portraits will look more like Byzantine mosaics than paintings. They will, like unfortunate Byzantine brothers, also be poorly executed.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Or Donald will make his own, but it’ll be a color by numbers page that only counts up to 1.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    100% guarantee that whatever vulgar monstrosity Twitler settles on for his official portrait* will be greeted as the ne plus ultra of fine art by the same people.

    *Possible even if his “official portrait” is a mugshot.

  • JAKvirginia

    Portraiture should be about the subject first. Bamz’ portrait background I find way overpowering and distracting but the depiction of him is strong and captivating. Michelle’s is a major fail. To me she will always be a beautiful woman who radiated warmth and intellect. That portrait is flat and lifeless and barely looks like her.

    Bamz? Okay. Michelle’s? Meh.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I found Michelle’s portrait totes awesome

    • OTB

      It’s hard to see them side by side bc they are so totally different in approach; what I find interesting is thinking about why each one of them chose the artist they did. Michelle obviously saw something in that artist’s other work (check it out for some context). I love both of them for different reasons.

  • BigCSouthside

    Ben Garrison is totally doing trump’s. He’ll be painted with a bodybuilder’s physique, stomping on the head of an immigrant while protecting an “economically anxious” person, with enormous hands

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I believe the pattern on the front of Michelle’s dress comes from the African-American “string quilt” tradition. Very nice touch.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Neat! Did not know this!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’m guessing but I have a degree of confidence. There are other patterns on the dress that are quilt patterns.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    You know, it’s a pity that Duchamp is dead. For Trump’s official portrait, they could have really explored different media.

    http://www.tate.org.uk/art/images/work/T/T07/T07573_10.jpg

  • Thiazin Red

    This season of Top Chef is pretty refreshing. The chefs seem competent and also generally are good people who like and support each other. Even Joestachio, who is an abject hipster isn’t a hipster in an awful way.

  • SayItWithWookies

    From the greenery sprout flowers that have symbolic meaning for the sitter. African blue lilies represent Kenya, his father’s birthplace; jasmine stands for Hawaii, where Mr. Obama himself was born; chrysanthemums, the official flower of Chicago, reference the city where his political career began, and where he met his wife.

    What — no ganja?

    • Roadstergal

      Hawaii is very warm, so although he might have toked in rainstorms, he did not… in hail…

    • Hiss

      I felt the ivy might be a reference to his academic background.

    • yyyaz

      Still not approved for use at Wrigley.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I love the one of Michelle, but what I’m really waiting for is this:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b1d083e71b87d984ab5d0f0b938becac5a5a1da0507315c1981b237f950380b.png

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Shapiro is running true to form; if anyone accuses him of making a “Michelle is ugly” joke, he can pretend that he was criticizing the painting and be his usual crybully self.

  • IMPOed

    I wish I could find the transcript of Michelle’s speech, she apologized to the artists for having to go to the oval office when Dumbfuck was there, it was awesome!

  • mailman27

    Well, I don’t know much about- check that, I don’t know anything about art. BUT! I think the representation of the president is fairly true, but what’s up with the greenery?? And the First Lady doesn’t look much like herself. And, again, I abase myself before the opinions of all visual artists.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Your reaction is absolutely as valid as anyone else’s. That’s what art is all about.

  • Roadstergal
  • Paperless Tiger

    We’re veering dangerously close to real art here.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Why can’t Michelle have a classy portrait. Maybe something with a gun, and money, and a bikini, and an airplane.

    • bupkus231

      Don’t forget the sunglasses

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Actually, I would like to see her as a Pam Grier-esque badass. Or Grace Jones.

      • everstar

        Jackie Brown?

        • Roadstergal

          I loved that movie. But my heart belongs to Mace from Strange Days.

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          Yup.

          fringearts.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/jackie_brown.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    So Donnie you want Jr to buy them for bupkis, bankrupt them like your casinos and then have the government bail them out then?

    https://twitter.com/costareports/status/963179301825908736

    • bupkus231

      I’d take Ronald Reagan National Airport off the government’s hands ONLY if I could rename it to remove Reagan from it’s name.

      • Roadstergal

        You’d raise enough money via GoFundMe to make that happen, I think.

  • OrG

    I really don’t care what limpballs thinks about anything. Certainly not this.

  • BadKitty904

    AP Analysis: Trump’s Economic Policy Rooted in Debt
    https://www.apnews.com/0034e5d3760a4b7e9181d0cc26c2818e/AP-Analysis:-Trump's-economic-policy-rooted-in-debt

    One clear principle runs through President Donald Trump’s emerging economic policy: Debt is good.

    When defending a tax plan or laying out his budget, the man who once called himself “the king of debt” is trying to persuade Americans there’s no price to pay for running trillion dollar budget deficits over the next few years. Stronger economic growth will permanently follow the borrowing spree, officials argue, even as many economists and investors already warn about what could happen when the debt becomes due.

    ‘They’re assuming that the expansion lasts forever, basically,” said Jim O’Sullivan, chief U.S. economist at High Frequency Economics. “You have to ask what will ultimately happen when we do go into a recession.’

    • BigCSouthside

      We’re pretty well fucked. He bankrupted casinos for fucks sake

      • BadKitty904

        Unless we end the Republican Congress…

    • Old town Urbandale

      “You have to ask what will ultimately happen when we do go into a recession.’”

      You blame Obama. Duh.

      • BigCSouthside

        Oh fuck yeah. And the obstructionist democrats who control nothing but somehow break everything. Then republican voters get complacent, Dems win, fix everything, and whenever they try to move the country forward, you say “the democrats don’t believe in your America!” Ride a wave of racism and stupidity to power. Repeat.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Yeah, what could possibly go wrong? Hell, the last time a president increased debt and cut taxes in a time of prosperity, it probably resulted in fantastic growth and a robust government ready to take on any challenge because they had lots of money saved up. Let’s see, when might this have happened? Oh — Dubya in 2001. Oh. Obviously a statistical anomaly.

      • BadKitty904

        Numbers, like Reality, have a liberal bias.

    • Erala Contratista

      Recession?
      Depression.

      • BadKitty904

        It’s a brilliant theory! it just wont work in this universe…

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • OrG

      Cops are like “the troops” for rethugs. Props.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    How many artists will it take to paint the Trump’s poor traits?

  • fawkedifiknow

    Will Melania’s official portrait pose be clothed or un?

  • Rick Hill

    As funny as these idjits are, I don’t find myself wondering why I can’t put jokes on my family.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Gosh, those were hard to find. Had to get them before new year’s day, because after that, they don’t sell them anymore. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f114bfca44321ea5818c874a505a3afeb6d704a76249d19ea1ce8fa43a1b9d30.jpg

  • Shibusa

    Philip Kennicott did a good piece in WaPo that helped me better understand these portraits. Like the fact that the foliage in President Obama’s portrait includes jasmine for Hawaii, African blue lilies for his father’s Kenyan heritage, and chrysanthemums, the official flower of Chicago. I love the Michelle Obama portrait.

    • gallbladder

      Indeed. Much symbolism to be had, though for me, art always speaks beyond its mere appearance.

    • also, the artist who did his has a history of pieces that reference the poses and symbolism of old master paintings with african-american subjects, so. It’s literally a new way of looking at the european vision of leadership.

      Might could be that’s the point. Maybe.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a326d417a9ce9dac25a9710fdbde86e2e8c2a25b460959be8c29197464fcf9b3.jpg

      • jowgajen

        Hey, rich white guy propaganda has worked very well, may as well coopt that shit for good.

        • There’s a Robertson Davies book called What’s Bred in the Bone which has the roots of symbolism in western art as a character in something like the way that metaphor was in Name of the Rose. What’s fun is that people think they can exclude people from it.

          Also, if you’re interested, Medieval POC is the twitter feed of a historian who posts the representations that actually existed that we’ve sort of disappeared as a culture.

          https://twitter.com/medievalpoc/status/961341116959387648

          • Daniel

            Upvoted for Robertson Davies. That was the first of his books I read, and still my favourite.

          • I have a guilty yen for Lyre of Orpheus. But, yeah.

          • jowgajen

            This is awesome.

          • I think so too :)

  • ken_kukec

    Awfully nice to see a prez engage in some self-deprecating humor about his grey hair and big ears, too. Seems like forever, don’t it?

  • William
    • gallbladder

      “Distinguished” hardly begins to cover it.

    • Roadstergal

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    • Nounverb911

      “Mr. President, Mr. Letterman will see you now…”

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      That real or shooped?

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I loved this whole series.

  • it’s almost comical how wingnut America is so threatened and intimidated by people of color in general and by black women in particular.

  • James Baskin

    “So Mad Official Obama Portraits Are Pictures Of Black People”
    And painted by black people no less!!!!!!

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      It’s a black on black crime!

  • BigCSouthside

    I’m surprised birtherism isn’t revived with a Fury due to the African flower

    “ITS LIKE HES MOCKING US CUZ HE GOT AWAY WITH IT”

    • Daniel

      There are actually a number of comments like that on Fox’s site.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He’s even wearing his Secret Muslim ring!

  • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

    I can’t stop staring at the size of President Obama’s hands…

    • BadKitty904

      Down, boy! HEEL!!!

      • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

        But it’s Barack…

        • BadKitty904

          Oh, beLIEVE me, I know

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Hands?

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    The wonderful thing about art is that everyone gets to feel something unique when they view it, touch it, hear it. Each one of those reactions is valid, and not one of those reactions is the “right” one, or the reaction by which all others should be judged. We all see and feel something different, because we view art through the lens of own our personal experiences. That is what makes art great. Bigotry robs you of the ability to experience your own authentic, personal reactions to art, or anything else, really. Hating the paintings because they truly do not move you is perfectly fine. What isn’t fine is hating the paintings because you need to shit on anything involving black people to maintain your false sense of superiority.

    • Lord Jim

      I, for example, dislike the Obama portrait because it looks washed-out and O looks he just got a flat-top. And if you wanted to associate all the life symbolism of flora with Bamz, instead of dropping him awkwardly in the middle of a wall of kudzu, why not paint him sitting contemplatively in a park or garden.

      And THAT is why I am not a famous artist. Prolly for the best. 😁

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Are Obama’s hands really that large, or is Wiley making a statement there?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yes.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • TJ Barke

      Privatization is only ever good for the privatizers.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Sure — what’s wrong with selling off assets for short-term gain, especially when it’s going to be necessary to lie about budget numbers real soon? Besides, a shittily-run airport shouldn’t be a problem for travelers — if they don’t want to wait in long lines, they can always buy their own jet.

    • Rick Hill

      Show of hands, how many of us predicted trump would be selling off as much of America as he could?

  • William
  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      I remember that from Silent Hill

      • redarmyzombie

        Incidentally, Silent Hill has the most tragic That’s What She Said jokes.

        “There was a hole here, but it’s gone now.

        • handyhippie65

          i think i have a silent hill game somewhere. now i gotta go look fer the damn thing to play it and see. i blame you.

        • Lord Jim

          Silent Hill 2.

          • redarmyzombie

            Silent Hill: The Hillening.

            …wait let me try that again…

    • SayItWithWookies

      “You’re gonna need a bigger can of Raid.”

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Yeah, Kevin is totally fucked now.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7jNhUgikcE

      • Red Bird on a Shithouse

        That must be a fun job.

      • handyhippie65

        yea, we’re all kevin now.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Laughing so hard my dog came to see what’s wrong.

    • msanthropesmr

      Clever girl…

    • HogeyeGrex

      There is something disturbingly predatory about the way the limbs move. Kill it with fire now, while you can.

    • gallbladder

      I am disquieted to say the least.

    • I for one welcome our new robo canine overlords. all hail SkyNet!

    • Jonny On Maui

      For dogs sake don’t give it opposable thumbs!

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Never fear! ScorpionCobraDog will help you get wherever you want to go!

    • SDGeoff3

      I want one! I was waiting for the first one to lift its leg and pee on the door.

    • handyhippie65

      this is the end. since this crapshack of a country will never institute a UBI, it’s the starvation dyin times fer us all.

  • Amused

    Of course those portraits are awful, there’s no gold!!

  • Uncle Zor

    Never mind those Fox-addled troglodytes. They would gladly erase the Age of Enlightenment if they could.

    • BadKitty904

      They’re working on it right now.

      • handyhippie65

        you took the words right outta my mouth, or fingers, if you will.

    • Amused

      They love everything about the Western civilization except for all the things that make it civilized.

      • Daniel

        And increasingly all the things that make it western.

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          Sharia is only OK if it’s White Sharia. Otherwise it’s too swarthy.

    • OutOfOrbit

      troglodytes?! I take acception to that term!

      • handyhippie65

        they wouldn’t be caught dead in a cave.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, they want to roll us back to the Black Death.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      They are trying their bestest.

  • ken_kukec

    “Noted aesthete Rush Limbaugh …”

    Yeah, a regular Oscar Wilde of right-wing radio, isn’t he?

    • Daniel

      “The only thing worse than being talked about is not talking about people not talking about you.”

      He does suffer from the same rage as the nineteenth century’s dislike of romanticism.

    • handyhippie65

      oscar wilde will crawl out of his grave to fling poo on you fer that.

    • SDGeoff3

      Quite the dandy popinjay.

  • Hither and Yawn

    Has John Cena announced his willingness to sit in for 45’s official portrait?

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      You just know he wants Tom Brady to do it.

    • greyXstar

      I’d pay serious money to see Cena do some walking lunges while carrying Donnie.

    • BMW

      That wouldn’t work, as the artist wouldn’t be able to see him.

  • Cock Blockula

    Reposting from previous thread on Rachel Brand because I thought it was the Open Thread:

    Good lawd, these people! They aren’t even using dog whistles any more. Just going straight for the airhorn…

    https://talkingpointsmemo.c

    • bupkus231

      Aw! When you’re “re-posting”, you’ve got to preserve your links!

      One presumes ( without going back to the other thread and looking up your post ) that you’re speaking of Jefferson Beauregard Sessions “gaffe” in his speech to the National Sheriff’s Association about “upholding the Anglo-American heritage of law enforcement”???

      Link: https://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/sessions-sheriff-anglo-american-heritage-policing-law-enforcement

      Some asshole tried to make it seem that Sessions was referring to our legal system deriving from old English “common law” – but the dog whistle couldn’t be clearer, could it ?

      • Cock Blockula

        Thanks for pointing that out! I edited to fix it.

  • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

    Has anyone checked Dumkopf Twitler’s academic transcripts to see if he was rejected as an art student from NYU? Just out of curiosity, it’s not like there were any other insecure fascists who fit that criteria…

    • Oh, like he would have been considered for NYU. The jesuits were giving everybody a shot back then, because they increased their campus size dramatically, and he only lasted a year.

      Also, he wouldn’t have gone to NYU, and his dad wouldn’t have sent him. It was the private school that took jews.

      • bupkus231

        I thought he went to Wharton because Fordham wouldn’t take him. I thought Fordham was an old Jesuit school….

      • aureolaborealis

        Wharton is private school that takes Jews, fwiw.

        • Did not know that. But NYU was called NY Jew for decades because there was no quota.

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      Well he was pampered by his mother. And his father was harsh.

    • AJ Milne

      General observations of his character lead me to suspect: Donnie would imagine himself possessing peerless and iconoclastic aesthetic sense, but would be very unlikely to submit it for outside judgement quite the way such an admissions process would require… And any jury turning up their nose at his efforts he would dismiss as useless overeducated snobs…

      Guy’s got a bit of a chip on his shoulder, manifests itself in highly predictable ways. Small wonder he’s an easy mark for those who really do influence.

      • Bobathonic

        Mad Doctor Syndrome. “I’ll show them! Then they’ll be sorry!”

        ETA: “The FOOLS!”

        • AJ Milne

          Except the trope there is of an Evil Genius…

          … this is more Evil Dunning Kruger Victim.

    • Lord Jim

      However, he is NOT a veteran of a prior war, so maybe the curse won’t fall on us…

  • aureolaborealis
    • Daniel

      A stupid person’s idea of what “thought provoking” looks like.

    • Parakeetist

      Is the guy in the gray jacket, who is bending down, trying to discreetly grab Obama’s butt?

      I thought these people didn’t like anything homoerotic.

      • bupkus231

        I think someone actially broke down all the “symbolism” in this piece of schmaltz – and that guy was supposed to be James Madison…

        BTW – I saw this earlier, where Steve Scalise got Thomas Jefferson confoozled with James Madison:

        Link: http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/gop-leader-flunks-test-separation-church-and-state

        More evidence that today’s GOP has no actual accurate knowledge outside of their stoopid little bubble.

      • wavicles

        It’s a symbolic THANKS, OBAMA!!!1!

    • BigCSouthside

      Art for dumbfucks. Might has we’ll have labeled all the mysterious symbolism

      • aureolaborealis

        If Ben Garrison decided to ‘classy’ it up.

    • William
      • SisterArtemis

        Never caught that one before

      • SisterArtemis

        who is the guy in the tails supposed to be?

        • Thiazin Red

          Wilson?

        • William

          A magician is my guess.

        • Daniel

          The waiter.

        • everstar

          I think it might be Andrew Jackson, in which case I can only assume he’s staring at Obama like, WTF? while the rest of the room chuckles at him and his silly ignorance.

          Edited to add: I googled the painting and yep, it’s Andrew Jackson.

          • Thiazin Red

            True, the hair does look like Jackson.

          • Ling Ling

            Turns into Yosemite Sam in 3.. 2.. 1

          • everstar

            He’s the hootinest, tootinest, shootinest long-tailed bobcat in the West!

          • SisterArtemis

            that puts an interesting slant on the composition!

          • everstar

            Doesn’t it? I actually somewhat like this picture.

        • bupkus231

          Andrew Jackson???

          I wuz trying to figure out who the guy at the end of the table was, next to JFK – Woodrow Wilson? That would fit the theme of “20th Century Democratic presidents”

          • SisterArtemis

            yeah, that’s wilson

          • everstar

            I think Wilson is to the left of JFK.

        • little miss high and mighty

          President Andrew Jackson, 1967-1845, 7th US Prez and notoriious India Killer/displacer/oppressor

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I’m not all that good at math, myownself, but something about that timeline does not look correct.

          • little miss high and mighty

            time travelin’ Indian menacer, we guess

      • Ling Ling

        Sausage Party

      • Thiazin Red

        Wait, are they playing pool in front of the picture of them playing pool?

        • William

          Infinity defined?

        • Daniel

          Droste Effect.

        • everstar

          It’s a painting from what I assume are the pre-Obama years; it’s all the “modern” Democratic presidents, sans Obama, playing poker.

      • SDGeoff3

        That’s my idea of heaven.

      • everstar

        I think from left to right it’s LBJ, Obama, FDR, Truman, Clinton, Carter, Jackson, Wilson, JFK.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Andrew Jackson looks a little incredulous.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Grover Cleveland should be in there. Twice.

      • everstar

        I can’t wait for the painting where all the modern Republican presidents have to include Trump in something. For maximum authenticity he ought to be having a tantrum on the floor while the rest of them look away in quiet embarrassment and/or disgust. Maybe with Lincoln looking dumbfounded.

        • arensb

          I was thinking today that at least W had the good grace to try to disappear and let people try to forget about his disastrous presidency. Which they’ve largely done: to listen to right-wing talk radio, it would seem that we went from St. Ronald, to Clinton the sex fiend, to Obama the antichrist.
          Trump doesn’t have as much self-awareness or self-control as Dubya. He won’t be able to stay out of the public eye. He’ll live on as an example of what the GOP has become.

      • calliecallie

        I want to go to that bar with my girls and flirt a little.

    • gallbladder

      If cancer could paint…

      • SDGeoff3

        Ooooh, sizzlin’ today!

    • BadKitty904
    • Lord Jim

      Are Clinton and FDR applauding out-of-frame Cthulhu?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Is that where we coined the term “Zombie Reagan” from? I always assumed that it was just because the conservatives wanted him to come back to life, but that looks like an actual zombie of him behind the bench.

    • SayItWithWookies

      All the subtlety of an Oliver Stone movie, plus all the allegorical power of a high-school newspaper editorial cartoon, crafted with the deft touch of a guy who sculpts animal images with a Poulan Pro 18″ chainsaw.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Bennie and Rushie seem jeally that they weren’t memoralized in a fancy portrait. I’ve created something that I think captures their personalities with the amount of effort such an endeavor merits. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1b591bba09adce2fd8891498d069c78ff5574bfc65ed375a8e822caeff573294.jpg

  • AnneBonny

    I love that in one way, Obama looks like he’s growing FROM the greenery, like America grew him–but in another way, it looks like the greenery is growing over him, giving him a sense of permanence, reminding us he will always be there in our spirits.

    • SisterArtemis

      love that!

      • SDGeoff3

        I know! Me too.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      “there in our spirits”… He’s — he’s not dead… :-O

      • AnneBonny

        I think you are fixated on one very particular usage of the word “there.” It is in fact a word that can reference many different locations and states of being.

  • bupkus231

    Nice portraits – even if they aren’t “photo-realistic”.

    My first reaction on seeing the title of this thread? “Fix News HAS Art Critics????”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The Fox News art critic got his job after graduating from the Art Instruction School, where he learned to draw Lumpy from the back of a matchbook cover…

    • Stulexington

      They have art critics the same way they have judges, or doctors, or experts.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        Or journalists.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Like Chris Hayes, I’m also glad to see that the Wrigley reconstruction is coming along nicely in time for April. With the new and improved pitching staff, we’ve got a good shot at beating the Russians Astros

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Every time Obama is mentioned, ever, the Faux Noise drones will screech. Barack seems to have gotten used to it.

    • Lord Jim

      He metabolizes it and and converts it life energy.

      • SDGeoff3

        There ya go.

    • SDGeoff3

      He’s so far above them, he doesn’t hear it.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh that painting Shapiro is mocking is a Kandinsky, easily one of his best. And also therefore decades-old. But hey, leave it to that little anal fissure to get his aesthetics from the Degenerate Kunst show.

    • Lord Jim

      I thought that looked like a Kandinsky. And though i am not the biggest fan of abstract art, I like Kandinsky.

      • SDGeoff3

        There’s a lot I don’t appreciate, but I’m willing to be indoctrinated. I just began falling in lust with abstract expressionism about six years ago.

        • Lord Jim

          As long as we can avoid Jackson Pollock. UGH!

          • SDGeoff3

            I don’t get him at all. I like the painting in the genre that exhibit form and style.

  • CripesAmighty

    What, no eagles flags or bibbles? Commie propaganda!

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      The Iggles are black, so not Murica’s team.

  • jaspersdad

    “Canada does not treat us right in terms of the farming and the crossing the borders,” Trump said.

    It’s unclear what he was referring to.

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/trump-canada-global-trade-tax-1.4532053

  • RickyG
  • Stulexington

    Okay, I’m no art type person but I hate the Obama one: The brightly coloured leaves draw my eyes away from Obama, who should be the center of attention. Seriously I noticed the leaf at his foot before I took in the expression on his face. That doesn’t seem right to me.

  • Electriq

    Even though I find all those leaves-leaves-leaves in Barack’s portrait a bit distracting, the man himself was done extremely well. Michelle’s portrait is very elegant, and I find the muted colors soothing. I also like the contrast between the two styles.

    Hey, just discovered that I like critiquing ART!

    Thanks Obama!

    (off to the Louvre site to see if they have comment section. If so, I’ll be gunning for you, rococo)

    • AJ Milne

      My daughter was recently cracking me up with online reviews of classic novels…

      … Seriously, better than lolcats*.

      (*/No, not such a review. More my review of the reviews. But coulda gone either way.)

  • SDGeoff3

    Those portraits are stunning, gorgeous, and breathtaking. And Dok’s article is wonderful. Thank you for a nice moment in my afternoon.

  • BadKitty904

    Retired Generals, Vets Urge Against US Aid Cuts
    https://www.apnews.com/873278556bf44d399b70158ac560eef8/The-Latest:-Retired-generals,-vets-urge-against-US-aid-cuts

    More than 150 retired U.S. generals and admirals and more than 1,200 veterans are urging the Trump administration not to make steep cuts to the State Department, foreign aid and other overseas programs.

    In separate letters, the former military leaders and rank-and-file veterans are emphasizing the need to invest in diplomacy alongside America’s military. The letters come as President Donald Trump again proposes slashing the international operations budget by almost one-third in his budget proposal.

    The retired generals include George Casey, David Petraeus, Stanley McChrystal and Wesley Clark. They say that “today’s crises do not have military solutions alone.”

    The list of veterans includes those from all military branches. They write that the U.S. must strengthen its global leadership amid escalating crises rather than weaken it by sidelining diplomacy and development assistance.

    • TJ Barke

      Dis ‘Merica! Shoot first, loot later!

      • redarmyzombie

        I think you’ll find, TJ, it’s spelled ‘Mercia!

        • TJ Barke

          Maybe iffin yer Mexkin!

    • gallbladder

      One minute closer to midnight.

    • Dg Hacket

      Pfft- dolt 45 knows more than all the generals and admirals combined! Obviously!

      • BadKitty904

        Say, you know who else knew more than all his generals and admirals combined?

        • Amy!

          Jefferson Davis?

          Napoleon Bonaparte?

          Give us a hint, here!

          • BadKitty904

            He was known for his vegetarianism, his flatulence, and his kindness to dogs.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Hey, leave me out of this!

          • Amy!

            Ummmmmmm. Gandhi? Okay, but he wasn’t so much big on the knowing more than his generals. Did he even have generals?

            C’mon, gimme a break. His flatulence? I mean, what great personalities in history aren’t know for their spectacular farts? Isn’t that, like, one of the foundations of historical notoriety?

        • gallbladder

          I’d like to buy a consonant.

    • Lord Jim

      When you’ve lost McChrystal…

    • Stulexington

      How is Trump suppose to isolate the United States from the rest of the world if he keeps helping people? Explain that ex-generals!

      • BadKitty904

        How is Trump Putin suppose to isolate the United States from the rest of the world if America keeps helping people? Explain that ex-generals!

  • Resistor Radio

    Can you believe the size of Obama’s hands in that portrait? Must drive ol McShitstain ragey.

  • Nounverb911
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    The triangular composition is a classic shape for the Madonna, representing the Trinity, the Holy Family (3 sides- Jesus, Mary, Joseph), and stability in general. And depicting Michelle as the Madonna is a brilliant fucking troll on the Christian Right, especially because they likely don’t get it.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    I really love both of these portraits, especially because they cause me to do a bit of a double-take; there is nothing “standard” about either. I love it when art makes me stop and really look.
    Both portraits exude happiness, and fill me with joy.

    • Tetman Callis

      They also show confidence, self-awareness, stability, and strength.

  • Cock Blockula

    This is Jerry Brown’s portrait which hangs in California’s capitol building in Sacramento. People were outraged, I say, OUTRAGED, that it did not follow the standard portrait style back in 1980 or whenever it was hung. I personally loved it and still do.

    I can’t wait for his second one to be unveiled. I’m hoping it will be even edgier than his first and will cause heads (Republican) to asplode.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fccf0a8f6d16135ae9c23457b0c20d86aa06893808dbbdc82147de6dd4392c07.jpg

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      I hope someone does it as Picard.

      “Post-scarcity solar batteries? Mr. Musk, Make it so!”

    • little miss high and mighty

      Yes, hang them, show them we’re all on this Republican heads’s asplodin’ stuff

    • gallbladder

      I quite like this for its brutal honesty.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s a great portrait.

  • CripesAmighty

    Richard Painter says, “I’d take a job stocking in the basement at Wal-mart over working in this administration…”

  • beingreleased

    Here’s my reaction in a tweet LIKED BY THE EDITRIX HERSELF:
    https://twitter.com/beingreleased/status/963131190076198914

  • CatDog

    I detect subtle referencing of Frida Kahlo in the Michelle pic.

  • ken_kukec

    Sarah Shuckabee’s response to every question at a White House press briefing: “Look, I didn’t answer that just a minute ago, and I’m not gonna answer it now.”

    • Nounverb911

      She should just tattoo that on her forehead.

    • Parakeetist

      She never says anything but snotty wisecracks. She’s never told anyone anything true or interesting ever.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      These kids, nowadays…

      • Justin Thyme

        whippersnappers and ne’er do wells

        • little miss high and mighty

          gonna say a similar, dang
          whippersnappers out there snappin’ their whips
          yesir.

          • SHIFT KEY BITCH

            GET OFF MY LAWN

      • gallbladder

        Good-for-nothings.

    • SDGeoff3

      We need more of this.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’m afraid that if I tried that my arm would stretch…

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        From my perspective, instant rotator cuff tear.

    • bupkus231

      Clearly, all those years of fapping have developed his hand and forearm muscles….

  • Holly

    I love them both – Obamz and his glorious Michelle and these fabulously wonderful portraits!!. And just for shits and giggles I thought I’d see if I could find something with the Giant Orange Moran in a “garden” and this is all I could find…it’s just AWFUL. Think that man ever pushed a lawnmower for a couple of bucks in his entire miserable life? That poor kid. Taking a lesson from that asshole….
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/99b8b0d664f2a648529b6aaa1ca2f5b6e940ccb7604e194edf86987c2599ec37.jpg

    • gallbladder

      Aren’t there child protection laws against this kind of thing?

    • Amy!

      Has he tucked his tie up to keep it from catching in the mower blades? Unexpected forethought, if so.

  • Tetman Callis

    Nice pix. Too bad the majority of Americans don’t know shit about art and have no idea how to look at these paintings, or for that matter, at any art made in the past 150 years (not that I’d bet much on their ability to comprehend any art made before then, either).

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Pretty sure the only “art” Muricans understand now is Internet meme characters. Pepe and Socially Awkward Penguin playing poker.

  • AnneBonny

    I confess at first I thought Michelle’s portrait didn’t really look like her, in the face–and then I image-Googled her and realized how different her face-shape looks depending on her hairstyle and the angle of the shot. So I was wrong!

    It is an arresting portrait whether or not it matches the specific Michelle-face I keep in my head. I will keep this one in my heart!

    • It reminds me a lot of younger Michelle, back before she became the polished public figure she is today.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    Don’t know if Angela has stopped by, but I just got a GoFundMe update that says her kitteh Isabelle’s surgery has been moved up to tomorrow morning. Hugs to both.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    This has likely been said downthread, but I don’t think that Michelle’s looks quite like her. Something is wrong in the forehead.

    I mean, the proportions in the painting. There’s nothing wrong with her ACTUAL forehead.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    well, i am utterly shocked that white dickheads didn’t like the portraits of the Obamas! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c519b475db09db2ef0e1e980e47ea3b12efb53866887bb4db096bd821261b2db.jpg
    This here’s my shocked face.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    My sick cat’s vet called this afternoon to say they had a cancellation tomorrow, so her surgery can be moved up a week. If anyone would like to help me get her into the carrier tomorrow morning at 7:30 am, it would be much appreciated, as it’s not going to be easy. She now thinks the carrier is the Temple of Doom. If you can help, bring a blanket, elbow-length leather gloves and some band-aids (for yourself, not for the cat).

    • TJ Barke

      Get her in a pillowcase.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s a good idea, thanks, I’ll try it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or just put out an old cardboard box- cats can’t resist those…

    • Thiazin Red

      I tried leaving the carrier out all night the day before a vet appointment and that seemed to work. They forgot about it after a few hours and I didn’t have to deal with them hiding in the morning.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I tried that yesterday. It works with the younger cat, but not with this one.

      • AnneBonny

        I always shut my cat in the bathroom and THEN get out the carrier. Doesn’t make it easier to actually get her IN it, but at least it keeps her from running behind the wardrobe.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Stand the carrier on end with door on top open. Pick up kitty and lower in tail first.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That would work great with a hard-sided carrier. Unfortunately mine is a soft mesh carrier with a zipper. By the time I get the zipper half closed with one hand, while holding the cat inside with the other hand, she has found a way to wriggle out. I need a third hand, I guess.

        • kareemachan

          My piano teacher’s Siamese clawed its way out of one of those. Pretty impressive hissing the whole time.

          Good luck with your kitteh.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            This mesh carrier wasn’t the smartest purchase I ever made. Isabelle hooks her claws into the mesh and refuses to come out.

        • SHIFT KEY BITCH

          Our adopted stray isn’t too keen on the whole carrier/vet thing, either, and we also have a carrier like yours.

          You hate to strong-arm them, but for one-handed control, there’s really no other way but by the scruff of the neck, although they can still get the claws into you; but at least they can’t bite!

          Best wishes.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Luckily, Isabelle NEVER bites, but she is a Master Wriggler and occasionally a Shape Shifter. 30 years ago I had a male cat who would get so upset when he was in the carrier that the vet had to take the top off the carrier and throw a net over it to keep the cat from attacking everyone in the room. He was a sweetie pie with me, but he certainly hated everyone else.

          • SHIFT KEY BITCH

            Attacking everyone in the room?! He didn’t happen to look anything like this, did he?
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8c3d89f101091253a503bbefae6f743b356ca677608662f9f7384acc39a2fcf0.jpg

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s what he thought he looked like. His inner tiger, you might say.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Catnip.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I tried that. It worked once, but never worked again.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    These are beautiful modern portraits of amazing individuals who are without peer.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • BillEGoatSmirk

    Boston Globe columnist Kevin Cullen penned a rather good column today called “What the Hell Happened to John Kelly?”

    He freely admits slathering all over Kelly a year ago (Kelly is from Brighton, i.e. Boston) and being completely horrified a year later.

    https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2018/02/12/what-hell-happened-john-kelly/SWFFaeKaWbGxBaDAO7g5kL/story.html#comments

    • Boston Globe columnist pretends to be shocked that an openly xenophobic irish guy from inner city Boston is a pig and a racist?

      Year late, everything you ever had to give short.

  • BMW
  • Red Bird on a Shithouse

    Open Thread. I’m over the cold weather. End winter now!
    Work update: It seems that I can breathe a bit easier because the folks at the office are not quite the assholes I was afraid they were. Given the garbage I’ve had to deal with in the past I’m always alert for the office bully/queen bee. But it looks like things may just be nice and easy for now.
    Also, too, the floofy cat has disappeared. I guess he really was just a stray who moved on. :(
    PSS: I got a new skillet for making omelets. Guess what I’m eating tomorrow. Hengh?

    • Jonny On Maui

      No shit! This cold weather must stop. It musta gotten into the high 50s last night. Almost needed a blanket.

      I’m sorry. That was mean. The cane grass mines do that to me…

    • Jonny On Maui

      What kinda omelet?

      • Red Bird on a Shithouse

        Probably western.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Good choice!

          • Red Bird on a Shithouse

            Yes. Left over ham and cheese makes good breakfast.

  • little miss high and mighty

    an Art i cle just to our tasty
    and we have noo more time
    it is 20 past the beginning of tomorrow
    nother dang workday
    gotta run
    goodnight lovies

  • Bud Spofford

    I love the Obama’s. Michelle looks great in her portrait. Barrack? Not so much. His portrait can be called Air Freshener on the Loo

    • Toomush Stability

      Some of the leaves on the Obama portrait are pretty cartoonish. And I’d like to see more muscle tone in Michelle’s arms, but overall, there’s nothing to see here, folks, move along. Can’t wait for the Gustav Klimt version of donald on the pot…

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    TERFs.

    Ugh.

    Why’d it have to be a TERF?

    • gallbladder

      No one else was available?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        So we scraped together the gunk leftover from when you burn your casserole on the bottom?

        • Stable Uniomist Raan

          That’s unfair.

          A nice, crispy crust on a casserole can be delicious.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Not when it’s black and burnt and caustic.

          • gallbladder

            Makes a point.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • GreenGoldSharpie

      How many times did he jizz drawing this?

      • None, just like the preceding twenty years or so. I think that may be part of the problem.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          Tiny blue balls?

          I see, I see….

      • WotsAllThisThen

        He had a happy little tree in his pants.

        • Lord Jim

          Look here, you…

      • SHIFT KEY BITCH

        MENTAL IMAGE WARNING – VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

        Not nearly as many as Twitler will looking at it.

    • gallbladder

      Oh fuck me.

    • Rick Hill

      Funny how destroying our country isn’t even requiring superhuman strength…or intellect…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Amazing how a cartoonist can make not only his hair, but also his eyebrows look fake.

    • Good Lord.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Anybody want to take a stab at what, exactly, Garrison is suffering from? Because this shit ain’t right.

      • SHIFT KEY BITCH

        Either demonic possession, or maybe just an allergy to polonium …

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      A superhuman effort to what? Hold in a KFC fart while Hope Hicks is in the room?

      http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/127/037/6ef.gif

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Obviously, Ben Garrison doesn’t know how to spell “fart”

    • SHIFT KEY BITCH

      Adding MAGA to the seal of office–what a tool.

  • Nounverb911
    • cheetojeebus

      Good quality anglo saxon whistles.

    • gallbladder

      But can I get one in white?

    • Mormos

      eggshell?

      • SHIFT KEY BITCH

        Alabaster, also too.

  • Tennessee Rain Genius

    Huffington Post posted an obscene photo of a figure skater. I sent them an email and the photo was cropped. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who noticed!!!

  • BadKitty904

    I may not know art, but I know what I like…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ace9f29a6b2280a565731bf26ae5029dd37449abdefca6cfe497aaef6ad8c33a.jpg

    (Leonardo da Vinci’s “doodles” of cats, circa 1513)

  • Stable Uniomist Raan

    Fox may not know art, but they know what they hate. (It’s blah people)

  • cheetojeebus

    Yeah. I like to get all my cultural opinion and whatnot from fucking idiots who think Trump’s version of taste is a-okay.

    Put me in the camp with those defending the Michelle painting. It is wonderful with a graciousness and quiet strength.

  • Rick Hill

    Ok, gop. You got your tax cuts and you’re watching trump attempt to dismantle everything else. When are you going to step in?

    • Stulexington

      When the money stops rolling in so never.

    • miss_grundy

      As soon as he does something that will harm them financially.

    • Bub, Secret Society zombie

      They stopped reading after “you got your tax cuts.”

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      Next January, in a blatant attempt to hang a fig leaf on their naked support.

      • Stulexington

        And they’ll be on Fox going “I don’t understand why Liberals don’t suddenly love us, I mean we hinted we were sorta thinking of starting Impeachment procedures against Trump if we got back in. Stupid Liberals.”

    • Toomush Stability

      Well, since this is what their rich donors want, what makes you think they’ll do anything?…

    • “When…?”

      “If…?” is a better question. The answer is, “not fucking likely.”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Would “never” work for ya? We’re going with “never.”
      -GOP

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Fox News had a little difficulty settling on a headline for its story. Originally (we love the Wayback Machine) it was “Michelle Obama portrait faces social media mockery after unveiling.” That actually got meaner after a while, morphing into “Michelle Obama portrait faces brutal mockery after unveiling.” Apparently that was TOO mean, since, as of right now, it’s “Michelle Obama portrait faces brutal mockery, some praise after unveiling.” Isn’t that nice of them?

    To be fair to Fox News, brutal mockery of Michelle Obama is what they consider to be is a positive thing, especially the brutal part.

  • bluicebank

    In the same vein of art portrait, I would suggest for Donald Trump’s image something in the style of Zdzislaw Beksinski. For Melania, better go with H.R. Giger.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/31cb6fcf193ec403e6394918a51f2b8a63711da8f8ebf04622a5db39c12f88e5.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    When you suddenly realize that Kim Jung Un is watching you…
    https://twitter.com/barstoolsports/status/962901418326634501

    • Toomush Stability

      Um, pretty mindless?…

      • Covfefe

        If you want your employees to sit down, shut up, do what they’re told and not ask any questions, this is as good as it gets.

    • Stulexington

      I can’t stop laughing at the guy who’s totally lost but trying to participate it.

      • Toomush Stability

        He’s the handler…

        • Paperless Tiger

          Girl crazy.

      • Cock Blockula

        He’s the “left shark” of North Korea.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        I think he is secret police.

        Um…I mean “cultural attache.”

        • Stulexington

          I’m sure they have at least enough suitability to call him a chaperone.

    • Cock Blockula

      Looks like girls gym warmups from grade school in the 60s.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Chaperone guy:

      “I got…rhythm…I…got music…”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Translation , “Sportsball, yeah, go, Great Leader!”

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • gallbladder

      Stiff breeze from the west, I see.

      • Hiss

        Yes, they need to get those windows caulked. Must have been shoddy construction.

        • gallbladder

          Lack of payment maybe?

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Trump did design and build the tower and designed his condo.

    • Parakeetist

      WTF is that even

      • Lord Jim

        A philistine’s idea of good taste. American Rococo.

    • Thiazin Red

      The lighting on her is totally different and she doesn’t have a shadow, super lazy photoshop on that.

    • Justin Thyme
      • Hiss

        Hey lion, sic Daddy.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Whoever staged that photo is working some Francisco Goya levels of subtle satire.

    • Covfefe

      Fore lorn, mindless luxury

      • gallbladder

        And toy limousines. Never thought they existed before I saw this.

        • SHIFT KEY BITCH

          Prolly a fucking Neiman-Marcus Xmas item–The perfect stocking stuffer for your little plutocrats!

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Every time I see that picture of Melania..*poof* it turns into Carol Burnett in the Gone With the Wind skit and the draperies with the curtain rod.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “I saw it in the window and I just HAD to have it!”

      • Reximus

        She’s ‘earned’ it

    • Enter Ranting

      A study in vulgarity.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Aileen

    I think these are both very nice paintings of very nice people who I really, really miss. Also, just wondering, but if Trump goes to actual prison, do we have to have a portrait of him in our national portrait gallery? If we must, could we maybe let Hillary Clinton pick the artist and have input into what the artwork says about its subject?

    • AJ Milne

      It’s a small consolation, but it does cheer me a bit that, if so, the caption will read: 45*.

  • Christopher Story

    Did anybody else notice Obama’s hands are big enough to palm his own head?

    • Toledo Window Box

      Because unlike the current occupant, Obama had the whole world in those hands.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    So as many of you know, I’m a lawyer. And I don’t much care for it. All I’ve ever really wanted to be since I was a little kid is a writer. Specifically a novelist, but that’s neither here nor there. My current problem is that I lack the discipline to sit down and just fucking write already. There’s a writers’ studio literally a ten minute walk from my apartment that offers a creative writing workshop that I’m thinking of doing. It meets weekly for a month and a half, and if nothing else it’d get me out of the house. I’m leaning towards going for it, but it’s a couple hundred bucks so I don’t want to make the decision flippantly. I’m not expecting this to launch me on the path to a new career or anything, but other than my knitting my life has been devoid of creativity for far too long, which can’t be helping my depression, and it’s been a long time since I did anything that’s both good for me and fun.
    I think I’ve made my decision, but what do y’all think?

    • Hiss

      Go for it, but don’t quit your day job. Except the problem with writing workshops is they aren’t vicious enough to do much good.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        At this point I think I just need some structure and a group of like-minded folks to keep me accountable so I start writing regularly and keep at it.
        I’ll seek out my Algonquin Round Table once (if) I get my stuff to a point that I think it’s good enough to subject to a thrashing.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Writing Down The Bones.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I had to google that- thanks!
        I’d like to be more diligent in my meditation practice as well, so this sounds like a book for me.

    • Vicki Lawrence’s Shh…Doritos

      Do it! I have started taking Saturday mornings to work on grading and then move to a neighborhood bar for some beer & creative writing time. It’s been therapeutic if nothing else. And I find it helps to have established spaces for creative work to sort of put me in that mindset–and to keep it separate from non-creative pays-the-bills work.

    • yyyaz

      I suggest taking a creative writing class at a real university if you have one nearby. The faculty should have several fiction/nonfiction/poetry authors, critics and lively classes.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That’s a good idea, but would be surprisingly inconvenient considering where I live, and not in the budget.

        • yyyaz

          On-line with live video might be available from several universities, but cost again….

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t stick to that. I need interaction with real-live people to call me out if I slack off and skip an assignment or something. And I hibernate too much as it is.

    • SadDemInTex

      Do it.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      You’ve always wanted to be a paperback writer?

    • Shibusa

      Go for it. And don’t let the assholes (in workshop) get you down.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I have a book kicking around in my head, too, and haven’t bothered to write it down, although I embellish it a little now and then in my brain-case. I also have signed up for some drawing classes – anything to be creative and get out among other folks! GO FOR IT
      (I held down the shift key, bitches.)

    • bluicebank

      A good to expand your mind. Even as a fairly good writer (of the short news/feature story, I was shocked at all the stuff I had to do for my novel, besides writing sentences/paragraphs into ye olde beginning, middle and end.

      “Character development? Oh just kill me now. Can’t I just do plot?”

    • Well, you just say down and wrote that fucking post, didn’t you? So that’s a start.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        A novel in the form of comments that are not allowed is probably a little more experimental than my style encompasses.

        • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

          Worked for the Andy Warhol diary, which I read and which was hilarious.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Good enough for Scott Turow, good enough for you!

    • SayItWithWookies

      It sounds like fun — and the money and regular class would probably be an incentive to do the writing and get your money’s worth, as well as establishing a writing habit.

    • SHIFT KEY BITCH

      SOT: Did anyone else read the words “All I’ve ever really wanted to be since I was a little kid is a” and were really hoping it would be “lion tamer”?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That did look like a pretty cool job! Then we all found out that the life of a circus animal is awful :(

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Wouldn’t he want to work up to “lion tamer” more slowly? Say, by trying his hand at banking?

        • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

          But he’s got the hat and everything!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “lumberjack”

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      I used to go to those workshops and they can help.

  • Nounverb911
    • SHIFT KEY BITCH

      She would beat Twitler like a baby seal.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    In Michelle’s portrait my eyes went to her dress, especially the color at the bottom, & I briefly thought “the dress looks better than her.” But then my eyes went back up and I see what a majestic woman she is, even with the flatness.
    Also, too, fuck you, Rush.

  • JD Mulvey

    Someday when it’s Trump’s turn, I truly hope that it’s all gold leaf and cherubs and shit. America deserves to look at a horrible, lurid image of that asshole for the rest of time.

    • Justin Thyme

      LOTS of shit.

      • yyyaz

        Beat me to it.

    • TootsStansbury

      I wish Hieronymus Bosch was still alive.

    • bluicebank

      I describe his taste in art/decoration as monochromatic gauche. (Fancy phrase for gold and more gold, done badly.)

    • yyyaz

      A 4k unedited video of his “hair” styling in real time as it is done by the unfortunate person whose job it is should be enough to shame us all forever.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The State finally put an end to the private prison outside Boise a few years ago, and now the Department of Correction has announced it is transferring 250 inmates to a private prison in TX. I guess they forgot how expensive it was to pay out all the settlements from the last time they shipped prisoners to TX.

    • Stulexington

      Or they think the Dems are about to take over and want the coffers nice and empty so they can’t do anything when they take power.

  • Kooolest G

    I really wish michelle would have hired george bush to do her portrait

    • Stulexington

      That would have made so many RWNJ heads explode it would have been glorious!

      • Kooolest G

        especially the guy who has to write headlines at fox

  • msanthropesmr
    • Bosch libelz! He wasn’t THAT fucking crazy

    • Brian Fowler

      I’m pretty sure those guys are way to swarthy for the cabinet of Mango Mussolini.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • bbayliss

      I could do that, gosh, it’s not as easy as it looks.

  • altleftjohn

    Is it just me or do Obama’s hands look especially large in that portrait?

    • TootsStansbury

      That is called artistic license.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Like how Disney depicted President Bloatus.

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • Paperless Tiger

      Clint Eastwood to direct the movie in 5 … 4 … 3 …

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Just another Responsible Gun Owner ™ exercisin’ their rights. Move along, citizen.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Yup. Plead that shit down to Unlawful Exhibition and give her gun back.

  • cloudbase

    Decapitating white women, oh my stars and garters!

    I must now go research this painting, because I feel like it’s a powerful continuation of one of my favorite art school nuggets, which was the comparison between the Caravaggio (a male painter) and Artemisia Gentileschi (a female painter) treatments of Judith beheading Holofernes. Caravaggio gives Judith a look of disdain one might give a teen girl obligated to squish a spider, entirely out of synch with her actions. Artemisia has Judith with the grim face of a woman who knows all the good and bad of life and the complexities of her relationship to male power. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1740ac21bfa41e8e9b51d3d2697b3e55db182d43373d99e3d992b5a57abd5199.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b3fff973c232dd2ccae8bc74a6f499cf0bb05564b4492fae06c29d755cad4495.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/66efdd54eccb099fcdb1fa358bcf3354002ace4b45a9e4db21597187aba81512.jpg

    • Thiazin Red

      Also, the male painted Judith is lightly holding the sword against him and his head is kind of just coming off. The female painted Judith is cutting.

      • Toomush Stability

        This is how you cut your hamhocks….

    • msanthropesmr

      Man the Bible is violent. Unsuitable for children, that’s for sure.

      • bupkus231

        Actually, the story of Judith and Holofernes is not in the King James bible, or most other Protestant versions….

        That’s probably why the US “religious right” – mostly Protestants – took so much umbrage at that image of Hillary as Judith back during the campaign.

    • bluicebank

      It’s the “Samson Haircut Gone Wrong,” right? /s

    • 42nd Parllel

      There’s no motion to the Caravaggio. It looks like people posing for a photo.

    • cloudbase

      Oh hey, come to find out, the Kehinde Wiley paintings are also titled “Judith Beheading Holofernes”, I’m not as thought as I dense I was. They’re about power and who has it. Though I’d love to hear some discussion on why they’re holding white female heads rather than old white male heads. Not that I’d disagree, merely curious.

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    I suppose I have to say “with votes” if I opine that Ben Shapiro would benefit from a boot up the ass?

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      The pointiest, steel-toed votes.

    • Parakeetist

      Avec beaucoup des votes.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      If it’s not fatal it’s ok right?

  • Parakeetist

    So, this guy. At church. I wanted to know who he was. So I looked at my friend’s Facebook photos. And he was there. Name and everything. So I, uh, kinda Googled him, and I found out where he lives, and – he’s from the exact same hometown as I am. Beautiful Flushing, Queens, New York. And he’s 41, I’m 44. And he’s… registered Republican. Vomit!

    Okay, should I ask him out? Should I? Should I just go up and grab his butt or something?

    • msanthropesmr

      NO.
      Friends, even of the imaginary internet type, do not let friends date repukelicans.

      • Parakeetist

        Aww, man!

        But, but, every time I meet some guy, I meet his lovely wife, and their beautiful daughter…

        And this guy, he doesn’t have a ring. So I figured. Y’know, maybe.

        I haven’t been on a date in elebenty bleen years, and I never thought I’d meet a guy from Flushing.

        Sigh. Must you take all my dreams away?

        I’m gonna throw myself on the couch and weep.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Don’t forget the shoving chocolates in your mouth portion. :P

          • Parakeetist

            Oh yeah, thanks

        • RMKH

          Well, if he’s GOP he might could have money. But anyone who identfies as a republican these days has got some ‘splainin to do.

        • suziq

          Hey, you can talk to him and see what happens…not like it will be a life time commitment. You might have some fun and have other things to do before politics comes up in the conversation!

    • Toledo Window Box

      If you can handle a relationship these days with a Republican, more power to you.

      • Parakeetist

        Okay cool

      • Ellie

        I can’t even handle Republican friends any more.

    • Toomush Stability

      Skip the dance. Ask him what he thinks about the derailment of Obamacare and what he would replace it with. Ask him what he thinks about the dilemma of the Dreamers. Ask him what he thinks of shifting the regifting of taxes to the 1% and how he thinks the poor should be treated. Ask him what he thinks about “entitlements”…. if you can stomach him after his answers, ask him out….

      • Parakeetist

        Thx

      • RMKH

        Ask him how he feels about the wholesale destruction of environmental safeguards that took 40+ years to develop.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Having been in a 17 year relationship with a conservative I can tell you- ask yourself this question: Will you be ok with never discussing politics with your beloved, because that’s what it may come down to if you want peace in your home.

        • Ellie

          I was married for 100 years…OK, it was only 37, to someone with different political beliefs. It was not an easy life.

      • Ellie

        Great suggestion. If he’s one of the ones that wants to kill me, then he might not be great date material.

    • TJ Barke

      If it works out you can’t come to the support group for dateless losers anymore.

      • Parakeetist

        Yeah, sorry

    • Ellie

      I have a friend in another State who has registered Republican so she can vote for the worst person in the Primaries. So, you never know.

  • tza

    Like the Barack portrait but I feel the face is a bit off in Michelle’s.

  • Brian Fowler

    For some stupid reason, I’ve been wondering what every nazi’s favorite “political cartoonist” would say about trump wanting a military parade (like the ones they have in France, of course). I don’t know why, but I was curious if he’d support something even Fox News is only 99.5% behind.

    Well, color me surprised but he’s completely ignored the whole parade hullabaloo so far. Shocking, isn’t it? Instead he’s got a “cartoon” up of Hillary yelling what he had to label (naturally) as lies, a really weird one of Hillary and Obama bathing in a fountain that Adan Schiff is pissing in (I don’t even know where to start) and one that says the Illuminati is responsible for the market crashing after Trumps “state of the uniom” speech (seriously, it has a plane labeled Illuminati flying with an open door, the bull mascot and the icon for bitcoin falling out to their deaths and a speech balloon from the plane saying “It’s Trump’s fault!”)

    Weird, isn’t it? You think by now he’d at least done a sketch of his inexplicably young (for a 71 year old) and buff Trump (wearing a general’s uniform) marching over Peolsi, Mueller (and of course, Hillary) by now.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Maybe he hasn’t had the requisite fever dream yet.

    • Stulexington

      It means he doesn’t pay attention to anything Trump says. His delusions have kicked in a defense mechanism: deep down he’s worried if he actually pays attention to Trump his opinion of him might change.

    • TootsStansbury

      The imagery of unfavorable symbols being shoved out a a plane are disturbing. Pinochet anyone?

      • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

        the reference is likely intentional.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        More Argentina dirty war, but either one will do.

      • Brian Fowler

        Part of me thinks he’s too ignorant to know anything about Pinochet. But than another part of me asks, does it matter?

        When damage is done and blood is spilled, does the fact it was done out of stupidity instead of malice really change anything?

        The funny thing is, that cartoon may be the closest he gets to an honest political statement. It does have someone saying “It’s Trump’s fault!” after all…

  • WilbyToad

    It is beyond grand that the Obamas are now invited to the Royal Wedding and Trump is NOT. Really made my day!

    • IMPOed

      Is that official now?

      • WilbyToad
        • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

          Haha!

        • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

          JEEzus christ. Stay OUT of the comments…

          • BadKitty904

            <– NEVER reads comments ANYwhere, outside of Our Wonkettes. Which, very wisely, doesn't allow comments.

          • Lord Jim

            There were more boobs in the comment section than in the article links.

          • puredog

            I’m inferring they weren’t those boobs we like.

          • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

            Raw Story comments are pretty good, also too.

          • grindstone

            The comments make you realize that Hillz was being mild when she said deplorable.

          • Cock Blockula

            Seems to be a mix of UK and US deplorables there…

    • TootsStansbury

      Oh, that is so awesomes.

    • oh, link link link.

      It makes me so happy that POTUS B YouWillAllLoveMe&Despair has managed to become the most powerful man in the world and not only is he rejected more than he used to be, his job is now not the most powerful job in the world because he’s in it.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        Tolkien libulzzz!

        • Yeah, well. If he had talked out loud about Lewis instead of freezing him out of the cheerleader’s table we might not be in this mess.

          • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

            Took me a minute, but I see what you mean.

    • BadKitty904

      Points for the Ginger Goon and his lovely bride!

    • ltmcdies

      Is that for sure. I would love that

  • TootsStansbury

    Not that it matters at all, but I really like these paintings.

    • SisterArtemis

      it matters :)

  • VirGinYa

    I don’t care about the effluvium from Fox or Limbaugh.
    I just miss this Obama family every day.

  • CripesAmighty

    Really like Michelle’s–the sparse texturing combined with the vivid lines and coloring of the dress seem a bit of a hat tip to the old Peter Max aesthetic.

    • gallbladder

      LOVE Max.

    • yyyaz

      Ooohh. That got me imagining all kinds of tasty things.

  • I love both of these and yes I’m a huge Barry and Michelle fan. And yes, I love the “outfield wall at Wrigley” reference. That is just the sort of self–deprecating ivy league humor that Barry loves. (He told me so at a wine tasting we both attended in the Hamptons.)

    • Covfefe

      All south spiders are closet Cubs fans.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Do you cut the lawn or clean the pool?

  • Reximus

    Things you learn from Olympic curllng:

    “SWEEEEEEEEEEP!” and “HAAAAARD!” are universal words, only in Russia, Finland, Norway and Sweden it’s “SCHWEEEEEEEP! and HAAAAARTTT!”

  • Stable Uniomist Raan

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5e789776be523b9f6ea3ffb8ee5fdeff9e44c673ccb3eac1bddad8dc6a01c065.jpg

    Tonight’s dinner: Minute steak/cube steak, with sour cream and chive potatoes and topped with American cheese and some sour cream and chive sauce salvaged from the potatoes.

    • gallbladder

      Ooooh. Is it too late to show up?

    • Toledo Window Box

      That fine bone-China serving plate really makes it jump off the page.

      • Stable Uniomist Raan

        Only the finest molded polypropylene.

    • BadKitty904

      Simple. Tasty.

      • BadKitty904

        (But don’t forget your veggies!)

        • IMPOed

          Chives man! ;>)

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      See, the problem for me is that your non-comment picture appears right under the one after you, of the horse’s Shapiro and well,

  • Cletus Safari

    LOVE the new portrait of Ben Shapiro

    https://i.imgur.com/xXHHL8i.jpg

  • FlemmishSpy

    Say, you know who else attacked what they considered to be “degenerate art”?

    • Cletus Safari

      Pretty much every authoritarian institution or movement ever?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Rudy Giuliani?

    • yyyaz

      Every Wonker ever exposed to Ben Garrison’s art bird-cage liners?

    • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

      Critics of the “Ellen” show?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Werner Heisenberg?

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • Parakeetist

      What is she smoking? That is one big-ass spliff!

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        Looks *cough* fine *cough* to me. And kitty is not amused.

    • Thiazin Red

      That dude could be any one of 100 dudes at brunch in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

      • NellCote71

        Same clothes and hat, too, right?

        • Thiazin Red

          Absolutely.

    • bluicebank

      Guy on the right is their dealer, and none too happy about being imaged just as the thing went down.

    • gallbladder

      As a friend of mine was fond of saying, “There’s ‘drunk’ and then there’s lampshade’.”

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Mom and Dad are not so proud of sonny boy’s politics, it seems.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/963196346009374720

    • gallbladder

      Thanksgiving ought to be interesting this year.

    • BadKitty904

      Disowning him might be cheaper, but still not as politically responsible. Perhaps they can send him a bill for the costs of his childhood and youth…

    • bluicebank

      That’s what happens when you don’t take out the trash.

    • CripesAmighty

      This really is the heart of the matter. It’s all about ODD. They’re all just snot-nosed little shits who wanna give mummy and daddy the finger cuz ‘you’re not the boss of meeeee’.

    • Doug Langley

      Warning Sign Number 1 that the will has been edited.

    • calliecallie

      Geez, when your parents won’t donate to your campaign…they must not be Republicans.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    When I was a wee lad, the Winter Olympics was all “Alpine skiing” and “Nordic skiing”, and it was all so serious. But these snowboarders don’t take themselves so seriously – a different culture and so nice! Red Gerard uncorked this brilliant run and then celebrated by uncorking a “holy fuck!” I leave the theological implications as an exercise for the reader. Here’s the run – that last jump is *insane*! Holy fuck!

    https://youtu.be/kN8cobMoMII

    • gallbladder

      BRAVO!

    • Thiazin Red

      I felt bad for the women last night. Pretty much all of the snowboarders wiped out because of the wind.

    • Parakeetist

      HOLY SHIT

    • Cogswell that ends well

      Jesus, was he born with that thing on his feet?

      • gallbladder

        “Innate” hardly begins to describe that young man’s talent.

        • Cogswell that ends well

          I got dizzy just watching him spin round and round.

          • gallbladder

            Marvelous stuff, that.

        • TootsStansbury

          He makes that almost look ho hum, amazing.

          • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

            Except other runs, by him and his competitors, made it look fucking impossible.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s official portrait got a ‘classy’ from all FOX and Rightie commentators:

    https://i.imgur.com/OSaVpn2.jpg

    Melania’s got 2 ‘va-va-va vooms’ from both Kid Rocks for Brains and Tedo’ the Pedo’ Nugent, and a ‘thumbs up’ from the Wasilla Hillbilly:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DV2esQHX4AAD2Ys.jpg

  • DainBramage

    These robots are extremely disturbing.
    https://twitter.com/aljwhite/status/963150562534412299

    • Paperless Tiger

      Trump could use that for remote crouch grabbing.

      • redarmyzombie

        Or for the chicken nuggets he drops in the toilet.

    • Shibusa

      Skynet, coming soon.

    • Thiazin Red

      The grabby snake head is some nightmare shit. Don’t teach them to open doors people, haven’t you ever seen a movie FFS!

      • yyyaz

        The Bad News: They didn’t teach it.

      • Timothy Watson

        I really wish I could find a clip from Agents of SHIELD where one character (Mack) goes on a rant when someone creates an artificial intelligence. This prompts the following dialogue between two characters:
        “Someone needs to tell Radcliffe to watch all the Terminator movies.”

        “Even Salvation?”

        “He brought this on himself.”

    • UncleTravelingMatt
      • yyyaz

        Should have watched this first. : (

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’m sorry but I think that’s adorable. I especially like the one at the end that’s run/walking sorta sideways while waving one arm in vigorous salute to something offscreen.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          It’s kind of endearing how it bangs the living shit out of its shin. I found that very relatable.

      • Doug Langley

        What exactly was the humanoid programmed to do with its arms? Hail a cab?

    • TJ Barke

      Murdering you on behalf of the plutocracy very soon…

    • jowgajen

      They are totally in the dog version of the uncanny valley.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The only thing that would be worse is if they had 8 legs instead of 4

      • Ellie

        That would be creepy, but I sort of like the 4 legged variety.

    • ltmcdies

      Can Skynet be far behind

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They’re cooperating!
      Well humans, we had a highly flawed but pretty good run, I guess.

    • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

      well, fuck. can’t hide behind doors anymore.

    • AJ Milne

      There’s just something so good doggie about the creep, tho’…

      My brain went immediately to the Rat Thing from Snow Crash…

      (Jack the sound barrier. Bring the noise.)

    • An Outhouse for the résistance
    • Invisible Bunyip

      Now if they train it to operate a coffee maker as well, the market is endless!

    • Flashman

      Jesus, are they house-trained, too?

    • therblig

      does the next video show them bringing back a beer?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      It’s that moment in the movie where everybody in the audience goes “OH SHIT! THERE’S TWO OF THEM!”

    • puredog

      “Don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord. . .oh, wait, never mind.”

  • msanthropesmr
  • ken_kukec

    That’s a goddamn funny line by Chris Hayes about the ivy-covered walls of Wrigley. But I bet even seated, Barrack has a better Range Factor than some of the Cubs outfielders we’ve seen over the years.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That’d better not be a Lloyd McClendon crack.

    • yyyaz

      Huh. I never knew Pete Incaviglia ever played for da Cubs.

  • Bill D. Burger

    It was wonderful to see that The Dotard included all the Trump Family in his Official Presidential Portrait:

    https://pics.me.me/whitehouse-unveils-trump-presidential-portrait-22714469.png

    • WilbyToad

      Really captures the fire and fury.

    • yyyaz

      Can’t smell the stank.

      • redarmyzombie

        You have to scratch it first!

    • TootsStansbury

      Needs moar face melting demons flying out.

    • Ill-Advised

      Laughing, but silently, since I’m in the library.

  • Shibusa
  • janetintexas

    I want that dress…

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      And you know, how much of the life-size frame is taken up not with Michelle but the dress, representing that the First Lady represents.

      Mrs. Obama is wearing a floor-length white gown with an abstract pattern reminiscent of the paintings by Piet Mondrian and the quilts made by a black community of African-American artists in Gee’s Bend, Alabama. Sherald said she selected the dress, which was designed by Michelle Smith under her “Milly” label.

      http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/arts/bs-fe-obama-portrait-amy-sherald-20180208-story.html

  • Dartemus

    Michelle Obama can’t make a bad portrait.

  • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

    I especially like it that the artist got Michelle’s bare arms in there.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Bare arms and no tie. All that’s missing is a jar of dijon mustard.

    • Doug Langley

      Gotta respect those 2nd Amendment rights, don’cha know.

      • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

        Oh, heh.

        • Doug Langley

          You should know better than give us straight lines.

          • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

            Route right. I really should.

  • Covfefe

    Rob Porter was loyal to Donald. Those two women made trouble for Donald. Enough said?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ellie

      Nice, but I’m not so confident.

  • msanthropesmr
  • faroutinNM

    I like that the outline of Michelle’s form describes a triangle aimed upward. “When they go low, we go high.”

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Bad Buddhist

      The Royal Ease Posture. Love it.

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Gorgeous.

  • JaveyDay
    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      Pizza the Hutt?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Spongeboob?

        • JaveyDay

          Spoogeblob

    • gallbladder

      I feel inner conflict. I want to eat and run away at the same time.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
      • Doug Langley

        Milton the Monster libelz!!11!!

      • NorthernSaber

        Is it true he was an Olympic-class stoner? He always sounded baked, that’s for sure!

        • Brian Fowler

          Bob Ross was actually a drill sergeant in the army. He hated it, specifically he hated being expected to scream and yell all the time. He said he left “swearing to never scream again.”

          • NorthernSaber

            Wow. Interesting bit of info and thanks for filling me in. Makes sense!

          • aureolaborealis

            * Air Force, I believe.

          • Brian Fowler

            I stand corrected. It was the Air Force.
            Bob Ross Military career

  • msanthropesmr
  • WilbyToad

    Chris Hayes’ tweet reminded me of a story, I think was told by legendary humorist Jean Shepherd, about a cross town series with the Cubs and White Sox where the Chisox center fielder chased a ball into the vines at Wrigley and was never seen again.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      That frequently also happened to the Cubs playoff hopes.

    • torturedsoul

      Beware there is nothing but brick behind that ivy Just thinking about running into that makes my body ache in places I didn’t know I had

      • puredog

        Isn’t Sean Spicer in there?

  • Stable Uniomist Raan
    • Parakeetist

      Whazzat?

  • Left Coast Tom

    I instantly “got” Michelle Obama’s portrait – and by “got” I don’t mean I’m not learning from other interpretations – I am, and that’s what’s really cool about it. But it instantly connected for me as well, as a blend of classicism, modernity, and heritage (I didn’t get Trix’ “street Madonna” thing when I saw it, but it’s perfect).

    Barack Obama’s portrait…I like it, having been given the explanation for the setting, but I didn’t “get it” before that. I didn’t dislike it, it just needed explanation for me that the Michelle portrait didn’t.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Overheard in Beijing:
    “The train station is over there.
    No, I believe it’s in that direction.
    Look, bloody Jacob Bronowski said it’s over there.
    What, on the telly?
    I’m outta here guys.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48cb1c87c1ccf7036f5eddcee7aa28a94cf5f231051be295e8ecc08993985b12.jpg

  • memzilla Ω
    • suziq

      On account of the BBC being not American they can really tell it like it is.

  • official artwork for Herr Yam is easy. just spray paint a can gold and fill it with some of his shit.

    checks all the Trumpenboxes: cheap, tacky and knock-off.

    • gallbladder

      Would macaroni be involved?

      • macaroni-art the Trump logo on the can and then apply gold spray paint?

        • gallbladder

          It could not be better (my apologies to macaroni.)

          • the alternative is, of course, that he’d have macaroni as a meal that would be used to fill the can. these details can be worked out, I’m sure.

          • gallbladder

            Keep me posted.

          • will do.

          • Lord Jim

            🎶Heyyyyyyy mac-a-roni!🎶

          • gallbladder

            Now I’m hungry.

  • Paperless Tiger
    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      “Bobby Brady” Jindal Libelz!1!11!

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Looks like the artist got the Bobby Jindal and Bobby Brady reference images mixed up.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Sunset today brought to you by GGY. Our motto: who wants to get up by sunrise? Christ, that’s way too early. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bdf25ccf4e7d7c9106ec2c793a18cac01f214bb5b1eee2ea4951ad4a5593c34d.jpg

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Where’s John Moody’s op-ed on this?

  • memzilla Ω

    Amazon is cutting hundreds of positions at its headquarters and global operations, a reset that comes after several years of significant growth…

    The company reported about $3bn in profit on nearly $178bn in sales last year.

    It counted more than 560,000 full and part-time workers worldwide at the end of December, an expansion of more than 65% from the previous year.

    File this under Dolt 45 Campaign Promises, 2018 Blue Wave Division.

    • Brian Fowler

      Once again I fond myself wondering how great it would be if downsizing while making any profit was illegal.

      Tell me I’m wrong.

      • suziq

        Well, as a (former) business owner it does not make sense to keep employees that are not needed. However 1) they are looking for “another” corporate HQ across the country. Why? 2) They can and should use some of the ridiculous profits to pay all employees a decent wage and benefits and not hire contract workers and other bullshit positions that are just to cut costs.
        Also too, I do not have a problem with lowering corporate income tax but they lowered it too much and it needs to have an AMT. For super-rich assholes also too. Also.

      • memzilla Ω

        I want Confiscatory High-Income Tax Reform in 2019, dammit!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You’re wrong.
        (You told us to tell you.)
        Seriously though, if the government can tell a private business they can’t downsize while they’re making a profit, the government gets way too powerful while the business gets no incentive to be responsive to their customers beyond the bare minimum required to stay operable, and no incentive to admit they have any profits. They’d just open an office overseas and pretend all their profit is made there.

        • Brian Fowler

          So we either give too much power to government or too much power to corporations…

          It’d be nice to have another choice, just once…

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “… chrysanthemums, the official flower of Chicago…”

    You spelled dandelion wrong.

    • proudgrampa

      W-E-E-D.

  • rosenbomb
    • Bobathonic

      Attack on Titan!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I can’t wait for Jon McNaughton’s reaction to these portraits.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • gallbladder

      Someone’s gonna be jinxed.

    • rosenbomb

      great minds think alike ;)

    • wavicles

      “needs moar ketchup”

  • therblig

    barack’s is ok, but i don’t think michelle’s does her justice.

  • OrG

    What does pickle think?

    • redarmyzombie

      Depends on what Dotard saw on Fox & Friends this morning.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    There’s something about watching people strap boards to their feet and go down a steep hill as fast as they can and then top it off by jumping out into the air like “Gravity? Fuck you” that I really enjoy. That, and the guys who lie down on metal contraptions with big pointy fangs pointing straight at their genitals and then go feet-first down a twisty icy tunnel.
    So why, NBC, you got to show me all the ice skating when we all know they done picked out the winners before the teams even got to South Korea?

    • Thiazin Red

      That Russian teen is winning it. Like no question what so ever. Shes going to destroy everyone.

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      It’s still fun to watching the skaters go all spinny and leapy and dancey.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Ice skating has built-in commercial breaks and lots of natural spaces for contrived underdog background stories.

    • jaspersdad

      I have a problem with judged sports in general.

  • Thiazin Red

    I’m almost caught up with The Magicians. I love Show Eliot so much.

  • MAJA
  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Does anybody else’s Disqus sometimes think it’s funny to throw you out of a thread and into a disqus thread and then when you come back in the comments are all scrambled and you can’t get back where you were?
    Because I had some fuckin’ intelligent points to make on somebody else’s non-comment and I got borked. I hate gettin’ borked.

    • NorthernSaber

      Swedish Chef Libelzz- “BORK-BORK-BORK”

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      All the time. All the time.

    • HazooToo

      I fucking hate Disqus for that.

    • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

      Yes. I’ve come to a thread fresh before and found comments from 7hrs ago mixed in between recently posted stuff.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      It used to happen rarely, but for the past few weeks the borking has intensified.

  • WilbyToad

    Federal Judge Reinstates Obama-Era Rules, Tells Trump To Sit (tha fuk) Down

    A federal judge has just ordered President Trump to reinstate Obama-era rules designed to fix the environment concerning methane gas emissions.

    The move is seen as a major blow to Trump’s powers and the oil and gas industry as a whole, who will now have to ‘scramble’ to make sure they are in compliance. The court also said the Trump administration acted unlawfully when implementing the order.

    Political Ape
    http://politicalape.com/2018/02/12/federal-judge-reinstates-obama-era-rules-tells-trump-to-sit-down/

    • HazooToo

      I live for news like this.

    • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

      Acted unlawfully…but no consequences for that?

    • Zonath

      Who knew navigating the ins and outs of the Administrative Procedures Act would be so hard?

  • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

    Ben Shapiro’s “insult” is the weakest weak sauce.

    Kandinsky? He doesn’t even know enough about art to know where to find ugly art.

    Ever heard of De Kooning, you incompetent illiterate dungbeetle?

    • Lord Jim

      What a maroon. “When you say ‘Dylan’, he thinks you’re talkin bout Dylan Thomas. Whoever HE was.”

  • IMPOed

    IMO, this captures his essence, perfectly.. }}}}}}}}}}}}} SHUDDER {{{{{{{{{{{{{{

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/247e6540f6e5cf86b344b92274c070a2a3658871889c06878dc2cbef93a4f210.jpg

  • JJ O’Shaughnessy

    I like the Barack Pic, but I don’t think the Michelle pic looks anything like her. *shrug*

  • Covfefe

    Tweety just admitted he was born and raised a gramma-raping Republican.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Blackest Noobs

      what is really fucked is betcha my bottom fucking dollar Betsy has in her life preached about the “Good Samaritan.”

      if there really was a God, it/he/she would’ve smot’d this bitch.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        If god smote people who offended him/her, there’d be dead bodies everywhere, most noticeably in D.C., Texas and Alabama, which is on the list of reasons why I don’t believe in god.

        As Epicurus said (paraphrased): If god is omnipotent, then he is not benevolent. If god is benevolent, then he is not omnipotent.

    • OrG

      Simple solution-start defending the rights of ALL students.

    • Stulexington

      The truth hurts, stop telling it to me!

    • Doug Langley

      Because we all know that Betsy’s feeling are all that matters.

    • IMPOed
  • Why is Ben Shapiro including a picture of his thought patterns?

    • gallbladder

      He “thinks?!?”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Okay. Just got off the phone with a judge. His Honor called to give me a head’s up that I’m on his shortlist to be appointed to a murder case.
    “How long is this list?”
    “Long enough that you needn’t cancel your vacation plans, but short enough that you probably shouldn’t make any.”

    It’s nice when the people who deliver bad news are thoughtful and eloquent.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Man, I wanna be a law person.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        You really don’t

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I was just thinking of the scene in the movie “The Big Chill” where the lawyer was complaining about the time she wpent working in the Public Defender’s office. The conversation went like this:

          Who’d you think your clients would be? Grumpy and Sneezy?
          I don’t know. I just didn’t think they’d be…so guilty.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I’m a substandard human being, so the guilt didn’t bother me so much. It’s more the self-righteousness and lacking accountability that puts my 9 year old to shame that annoyed me. Like, maybe we can beat the case, but you clearly embezzled or shot someone or touched a 9 year old. My ability to beat the case doesn’t mean it didn’t happen

      • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

        My parents said I should have been because of how I used to always argue them into a corner.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Yes on your closing line

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I can’t think of the term I want so I’m going to use way too many words in this question: is it a situation where an attorney (you) is being provided to a suspect? As in free for him and you only get paid whatever a public defender gets?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        More or less, yes. They don’t have enough PDs with experience in homicides, so once the experienced ones are busy, the judges appoint people who aren’t under contract on an hourly basis. We actually get paid more than the standard contract rate (though far less than I would bill a private client.)

        • puredog

          This all sounds quite sane to me, especially when I think of the status of public criminal defense in places like Alabama and Louisiana.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I think it’s a good system, for the most part, but then again, I practice in a state where defendants in capital cases are entitled to two “qualified trial attorneys” one of which must have no less than 5 years litigation experience, 4 felony jury trials as lead counsel, participated in at least one capital case in its entirety, and done at least 12 hours of approved CLEs in capital defense. We’re funny like that.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I used to take juvenile cases on appointment when there was a conflict in the PDs office. At least you know the check won’t bounce. But, payment is delayed, it’s capped at a rate barely worth your while, and the clients can be extra difficult. I had to duck a Judge at bar events so he couldn’t stick me with cases, but it was worth my constant vigil.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          When I was starting out, I loved it. I went to all the judges and told them to send me whatever conflicts they had. I got to know all the judges, court personnel, jail staff, prosecutors . . . I still like doing it, but it kind of bugs me that the same dozen or so lawyers are the only ones who get appointed. It wouldn’t hurt some of those other guys to take a turn representing the poor from time to time.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I don’t know if you’ve watched ‘The wire’… but you gave a fuck when it wasn’t your turn to give a fuck.

            Shame you have a sense of decency and justice

        • BillEGoatSmirk

          I did juvenile criminal defense by assignment, and learned early on to stay the hell away from District Court so the judges wouldn’t appoint me to adult cases on the spot when they were short of defense attorneys. The good news was that, at the time, my SO was a Public Defender on the murder list, so when I got trapped into an adult case, I’d make sure that his office got a call to send someone in to take the adult case off my hands after arraignment. The freakin’ judges sometimes just don’t give a shit in an inner-city court.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Reminder I’m lucky we have full time PDs offices. I can’t imagine sitting in court, fucking around on my phone, only to look up and be told I’m now counsel on a serious felony. Cripes, and more power to you

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            In Washington, you can be sitting there minding your own business and end up presiding over a case as judge pro tem.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I don’t know what that means, but it sounds nuts

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            The first time I ever saw it happen was in Asotin County, pop. 50,000. The Superior Ct. (general jurisdiction) judge says, “It appears I have a conflict of interest in this case, so I’m going to have to recuse myself. Before I do, Mr. Whatever, are you able to preside over this matter? Then I appoint Mr. Whatever to serve as judge pro tem for the duration of this case. Is there any objection? It is so ordered.”

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Holy fuck! I’ve never heard of such a thing!

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Surprised the hell out of me.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            We only have 3 levels of courts, and trial courts have general jurisdiction. Took a constitutional convention, but it got made pretty simple. In your case, that sounds crazy. Does the lawyer take a judicial oath? Are they conflicted if they have cases involving either counsel? Do they get a robe issued? I am definitely perplexed

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Agreed. I’m in MA, and although things can get crazy when there have been budgetary issues and shortages of Public Defenders and the (semi-private) Bar Advocates, no one can be miraculously turned into a judge.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            They do take an oath. In that particular matter, Judge Acey had the parties sign their agreement, administered the oath, handed his robe to the lawyer, and walked out of the courtroom. Ordinarily, appointment of a judge pro tem is done beforehand, but this was an arraignment. I’m told the reason is because of the speedy trial deadline, which in Washington is 90 days — 60 for in-custodies — and is jurisdictional.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Wow. A judge handing over his/her robe sounds like something out of ‘night court’

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Never on a murder of course, but on occasion, something that had concurrent jurisdiction that could potentially end up in Superior Court after indictment.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Those Judges, killing you with kindness… then they mention the appointment. Good luck!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Yeah. They think I haven’t figured out that the only time I ever get a call directly from a judge is when they’re about to appoint me to something that’s gonna keep me from all those nice, juicy DUIs.

  • Well what do you know? Jullian ASSange went down to Victoria Secret and got himself this saucy little Fruedian slip:

    https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/963137584842137600

    • Left Coast Tom

      How the hell would he know, he’s pretty much a ward of the Ecuadorian state. Maybe they just told him this trying to get him to finally go away.

    • “M”

      I’m just … so pissed at Ecuador. I wanted to GO THERE. And help them with the MEDICAL CLINIC. And watch and support the TENNIS. I am LIVID with them.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Shanzgood (16 Days!)
    • Poly_Ester

      In Gitmo for their own protection?

    • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

      Nyet. Is not here.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        “I tell you truth, Donalt, I never throwink your boys underneath any busses.

        Throwing them to lions instead.

        You fix sanctions now, yes?”

  • WilbyToad

    Pamela Geller Shares Anti-Migrant Video That Is Such an Obvious Hoax You Can See Its Film Crew

    Y’know, if you are going to share a video that purports to be real-life footage of Muslim migrants violently destroying property to make an Islamophobic point, maybe make sure the clip doesn’t show a film crew in the background.

    In the video she shared not only to her YouTube page but also on her newsletter and website, anti-Muslim political commentator Pamela Geller indicated that the clip shows Islamic migrants in Italy beating a police car with baseball bats and rods. But, as Media Matters highlighted on Monday, the video is actually amateur footage of a scene being shot for a professional film.

    by Justin Baragona / MEDIAITE
    https://www.mediaite.com/online/pamela-geller-shares-anti-migrant-video-that-is-such-an-obvious-hoax-you-can-see-its-film-crew/

    • gallbladder

      Pirro-grade stupid.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Too bad the people who need to know what a hack she is won’t believe the ACTUAL news about how she’s the fake, but will call that part fake while believing her part is truth. And now I need an aspirin.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      That should be an arrestable offence – promoting bigotry and ethnic/racial hate crimes through the use of false or distorted images, or words to that effect.

      • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

        Enh. Frozen peaches.

        Ugh.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        I would say it amounts to shouting “Fire!” in a crowded theater.

      • Pisto75666

        It should. Here it’s a platform for a political party.

      • Delu

        It MIGHT have been. But America fucked up on that too.

        When the fake PP videos were circulating, there was legitimate grounds for prosecution, with those grounds being slander and libel(z).

        But America failed at the final hurdle because FREE SPEECH BABY!

        Well if hate speech is protected, so are the consequences of hate speech.

        And Pam Geller is only too happy to show America exactly what that’s like.

        After all, people obviously don’t remember the Nazi Party and how THEY did it by now.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      “political commentator”? Really? How about “nasty, racist fuckwit”.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        There’s a difference??

        –Ghost of Roger Ailes, spit roasting in Hell

    • Ellie

      So, when will Cadet Bone Spurs be sharing it?

    • Delu

      Hey it’s Pam Fucking Geller! What about her isn’t a Hoax?

      I’m even suspecting the outrage to be one.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    I thought Obama was in a field of poison ivy and started itching. Michelle ‘s is perfect.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I thought it was an awful homage to Wrigley’s ivy that was going to piss off cubs fans. Glad I wasn’t alone there

      • Shibusa

        Obama is a White Sox fan, anyway.

  • Shibusa
  • Gosala

    Ima gonna refrain from having an opinion on these portraits because a tiny image on my phone cannot possibly do them justice.

    I hope they reveal the loveliness of the people portrayed.

    That is all.

  • I just got a call for a Quinnipiac poll. Most of the questions were about this state (NY), and various politicians. What I didn’t like about the questions was that they were “Yes/No” questions for the most part. That, and I have zero opinion on what NYC should or shouldn’t do with its subways. I don’t live anywhere near the city, so whatever…

  • M.E. Lawrence

    Oh, those naughty black folk are at it again! I don’t think MRO’s looks enough like her, but I admire the painting itself. BHO’s portrait is charming even though, as Andy B. puts it: “Unsuspecting Americans who turned on cable news Monday morning were
    suddenly assaulted with the memory of a time when the country’s domestic
    affairs, international diplomacy, and nuclear codes were entrusted to
    an adult.”

    https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-cruelly-reminded-that-it-once-had-a-president

    Damn it, Obamas, come back to us, if only for a year or so. We need your therapeutic presence in the White House.

  • JoeChristmas

    Three Doors Down

  • WilbyToad

    Nation Cruelly Reminded That It Once Had a President

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a televised event that many deemed unnecessarily cruel, millions of Americans were briefly reminded on Monday that they once had a President.

    Unsuspecting Americans who turned on cable news Monday morning were suddenly assaulted with the memory of a time when the country’s domestic affairs, international diplomacy, and nuclear codes were entrusted to an adult.

    CNN, one of the networks that televised the event, immediately said that it regretted doing so, and acknowledged that reminding Americans that they recently had a President had caused widespread bereavement and distress. “CNN deeply apologizes for the error,” a network statement read. “It will never happen again.”

    Compounding the cruelty of the televised event, the networks lingered unnecessarily on a speech that only served to remind viewers that the nation once had a President who rigorously obeyed rules of grammar and diction.

    Finally, the reminder that the country recently had a chief executive who loved and respected his wife was deemed “too much” by many viewers, who felt compelled to change the channel.

    “It was horrible,” Carol Foyler, a viewer who was traumatized by the broadcast, said. “It’s like when you stumble on a photo of an ex on Facebook and they unfortunately look amazing.”

    by Andy Borowitz / The New Yorker
    https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-cruelly-reminded-that-it-once-had-a-president

  • Shibusa
    • gallbladder

      Cool.

  • Pisto75666

    The conservative host zeroed in on CNN and “some guy named Fallon” — former Hillary Clinton campaign spokesman Brian Fallon. Limbaugh claimed that Fallon stopped just short of crying. And in a highly mocking tone, the host mimicked the Clinton staffer’s remarks.

    “Oh my God this is so wonderful!” A highly sarcastic Limbaugh said. “To have braininess back. To have intelligence, to have people we could be proud of!”

    Personally, I’d like to hear what the Dominican rentboy in Limbaugh’s lap thinks of it.

  • Thiazin Red

    What are people reading? I’ve been getting a lot of audio books in and I started Age of Swords, sequel to Age of Myth but Michael Sullivan. I liked the first book, and the negative comments are all about how there are too many ladies in leadership roles, so I’m pretty confident I’ll like this one too. That was one of the things I liked about the last one, the women got sick of things and said screw tradition the best people should lead.

    • BadKitty904

      In prep for St. Paddy’s Day, I’m rereading Some Experiences of an Irish R.M., by Somerville and Ross. Hysterically funny…

    • gallbladder

      Quiet by Susan Cain. Fascinating path of affirmation.

    • janecita

      I’m rereading “Howl’s Moving Castle.”

    • Gosala

      The Shape of Ancient Thought. I am weird.

      Spoiler alert: it’s round

    • “The Year of the Pitcher: Bob Gibson, Denny McLain, and the End of Baseball’s Golden Age” by Sridhar Pappu.

      A look at baseball and the US in 1968, based around biographies of Gibson, McLain, pitching coach Johnny Sain, and Jackie Robinson’s post-baseball life.

      A good read, since it’s less about baseball and pitching than the changes going on in America at the time.

      • As a kid, I was lucky enough to see Bob Gibson pitch once. Perhaps the best ever in his prime.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          My friend’s dad had a cup of coffee with the Cards late in Gibson’s career. He said he was a wonderfully nice man, even to a career AAA outfielder. Nothing like the way he was on the mound.

          • Excellent description. A proper gentleman outside of his post.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Have you watched Fastball? That really drives it home.

          • I will watch it now. H/T UTM.

    • Denis Johnson’s posthumously published “largesse of the sea maiden”. It reads as if Dostoyevsky and Jim Thompson got together for a few weeks of brotherhood and collaborated on a collection of short stories. 5 stars out of 3 available.

      Also, “Boss Life” by Paul Downs, a month by month rendering of the joys of small business ownership. Read it, you’ll be thankful you did.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The Color of Truth by Kai Bird, a biography of McGeorge and William Bundy.

    • Shibusa

      The Chosen, Chaim Potok’s first novel.

    • Vel Venturi

      The most recent few No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency books, because I’m a bit behind on them, and I need to read something that will remind me that people can be good and decent.

    • HazooToo

      Rushed: Something Wickeder. Most recent book in the Rushed series, Brian Harmon. I’m going to actually go read it now, so I don’t end up putting my fist through my laptop tonight, I really highly recommend the series, it’s fantastic.

    • puredog

      Fire and Fury. Even between the spoiled sections, it is worth reading. To have learned that Bannon was the source of so much of it deflates some of the amusement, however.

  • WilbyToad
    • janecita

      Fuck Mark Zuckerberg! Facebook was one of the biggest contributors to our national nightmare.

      • Justin Thyme

        doubly!

    • From the news, apparently Unilever has given an ultimatum to both Facebook and Google to “Clean up the swamp.

      “We cannot continue to prop up a digital supply chain … which at times is little better than a swamp in terms of its transparency,” Unilever marketing boss Keith Weed will say, according to a copy of his speech obtained by CNN.

      Unilever (UL), which owns brands including Dove, Lipton, and Ben & Jerry’s, is one of the world’s top advertisers. It has an annual marketing budget of roughly €8 billion ($9.8 billion), and 25% of its ads are digital.

      Which ought to make things … interesting … for both companies.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I mark it as fake news every chance I get.

  • Michael R

    was Ben Shapiro always a sniveling piece of shit ?
    discuss amongst yourselves

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK8mbA083hE

    • janecita

      Yes.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      As a string player myself, I have to admit, for 12 yrs old, not bad.

    • natoslug

      In his head, he was playing “Ride of the Valkyries.”

  • Mavenmaven

    Why does Ben Schapiro think Kandinsky is funny?
    Because Ben Schapiro is an idiot.

  • Reximus

    I love Micheles’ portrait. but it could be a lot of other women. Bo’s is awesome

  • janecita
    • HazooToo

      Angry fucking words!

    • Delu

      Well maybe that’s why the Israeli administration gets on well with Trump.

  • Doug Langley
    • gallbladder

      My mind has been changed. Many years ago, I dated a woman who was terrified of spiders. I once asked her, “How do think a spider might react if they came across you? Might they not be equally frightened?” It was a good moving forward on the topic.

      • Ellie

        My answer would be, I don’t care. If she stays out of my space, neither of us would be frightened.

      • Stinky_Hole

        I suggest watching the “Gumball” episode where they have a funeral for Penny’s pet tarantula.

    • HazooToo

      Thank youuuuuu. So much love!

    • Where I work, we have a lot of “dock spiders,” or more properly Six-spotted fishing spiders. I’m not afraid of them, although they’re huge, and they run away from people. But lots of people (including some of my staff) are terrified of them.

  • I think they’re both gorgeous, but mitigated by feelings of foreboding when Republicans dig up that:
    a.) Kehinde Wiley doesn’t do his own painting, he outsources it. That’s not part of his art philosophy either the way Jeff Koons would justify it as artist-as-CEO or a “a modern take on a Renaissance workshop.” He just sends his work to his studios in Senegal and China to do the detail work OR the entire painting.
    b.) There’s accusations leveled against Wiley for sexually molesting his models, esp. ordinary black men he spots on the street and paints in heroic poses. Accusations came out ~five years ago, but I never saw how they resolved or if they were thrown out/disproved.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    This is insane. I will never accept this as OK. There is nobody in this administration that isn’t a shyster grifting all they can from the American taxpayers. Fuck them all.
    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/963213394768793603?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

    • TundraGrifter

      You write “grifting” like it’s a bad thing.

    • tehbaddr

      Family values and fiscal responsibility, all rolled into one!

  • Claire

    I JUST… feel like Michelle’s portrait should have been more vivid. I mean, my favorite photos of her are of her in black or jewel tones, I don’t see her in these washed-out pastels.

    I’ve come around to Obama’s, I just don’t think Michelle’s does her justice.

    • OppressedMass

      I actually love Michelle’s dress– But overall it doesn’t do justice to her warmth and vitality; how real she always manages to be.

      • Stinky_Hole

        Michelle’s head is too small in the portrait. I kept thinking that the painter was off on the dress – the seam leading down from under her arm, which if you imagine matching on the opposite side, makes her seem a tad husky. But her arms and hands match the scale of the dress. The head is just too small. And her chin should be centered above the knuckle of her index finger (even better – her head could be tilted a little to the left). But I don’t hate it.

    • HazooToo

      I like it, but I don’t love it. It was really well done, and she looks good in it, and there is nothing technically wrong with it. Just not my taste. But really impressive, anyway!

  • BigCSouthside

    Ah Christ the wingnuts are after Susan rice again

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It’s her turn.

    • Delu

      When Trumpians hear the words “investigation” they only link it to the one on CLinton for her Emails.

      The investigations into Trump and the Russians are all fake news that don’t exist.

      When you look at it from that POV, it all makes sense.

      Well not in the literal sense, I mean you understand why the Trumpians are going on about this and that sense has nothing to do with it.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I see the New York Times has noticed Norway’s version of “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” In our country, the relevant question is: Where were you when Oddvar Brå’s ski pole broke?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2a62a92c322581f26761f322726d4ffdc1326e9f4125d3d468afdbdda5bb102.png
    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/12/sports/olympics/oddvar-bra.html

    For the record, I was in front of a small transistor radio in my parents’ cabin in the woods, where we spent our winter vacation. And I thought it was quite exciting, but not so much that I bothered to join my brother in watching it on the black-and-white TV we had in an adjacent cabin (I prefer football). I’ve seen the footage many times since, though. As have most Norwegians, probably.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0WY1WsAZZ8

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • Cletus Safari

      It’s a day ending in “y”, so of course Disqus is suqqing qamel qoqqs.

  • Shibusa
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Delu

        Well that escalated quickly.

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          That’s not how you de-escalate.

          • Delu

            I mean whichever direction you are travelling, it’s still called an escalator.

            It’s not an escalator while going up, and a de-escalator when going down right? (ditto for an ELEVATOR).

          • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

            It’s one of those linguistic mysteries of life?

          • Delu

            Got to love Engrish.

          • Stinky_Hole

            Upscalator and downscalator.

      • HazooToo

        That was a terrible dismount.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        I cannot stop watching this!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        When I was very little I was terrified of escalators – I was sure I would get sucked into the machinery at the bottom or the top, so when I got close enough to the end I would JUMP to safety. The last time I rode an escalator I realized that I still do that, kinda. Does anyone else do that?

        • puredog

          I hop off people movers in airports, but not out of fear so much as to have the momentum to maintain a similar velocity.

      • Jimh

        That man does not look okay at the end.

    • Grokenstein

      Next week some idiot breaks a limb or two on a department store escalator then sues the department store, Sports Illustrated, Twitter AND the guy in the video.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Is it gonna be “SUI” or is it gonna be “CH”? Get your shit together, Switzerland.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        March together with the German team (DE) and be Suichide.

  • Delu

    I think we are expecting too much of the Friend of Hamas, Ben Shapiro, in terms of class.

  • Delu

    When I see the Obama portrait, I’me reminded about out America’s former Press Secretary (before the current one, not the Mooch, he never actually landed the position before being fired).

    Him and hedges had REAL affinity!

    • TundraGrifter

      I’ve already seen a version of Mr. Obama’s portrait with the former Press Secretary doing an Artie Johnson in the corner.

  • Cletus Safari

    For Lord Jim:

    Kagami, by Novcel.

    Big picture is big. Click, then click again for full size.

    https://i.imgur.com/MW4NCeO.jpg

    • Lord Jim

      Well, you know my weak point now…

    • gallbladder

      Those thighs…

  • hudson

    what i want to know is what sort of people fail to recognize the national significance of a president with a reagan, a bush, a clinton and another bush to the left and a trump to the right? how the fuck do these guys miss the significance of an obama?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    OK Wonkers. The Good Wife, or The Wire?

    • Yes. (But i have only seen The Good Wife)

    • Vel Venturi

      The Wire is stunning and a must-see, I think.

    • Delu

      Garrote?

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      If you haven’t seen The Wire, I say watch that. It is truly ground-breaking storytelling of a very American story.

    • tehbaddr

      The Bad Lieutenant, the original!

    • Parakeetist

      The Tudors. Weird shit with kings in it.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        BBC’s Victoria is better done.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I started that one. Couldn’t get into it. I really like historical fiction and the not-quite historical story and, oddly, make up and hair really bothered me.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      The Wire if you feel up to something depressingly realistic. And no matter what Dok says, Season 2 SUCKS! ;)

    • grindstone

      Binge watching Scott and Bailey. Don’t judge, I like it.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Oh Scott and Bailey is GREAT! I shelled out for that BritCrime channel so I could get it when PBS failed me.

        • grindstone

          Yes! I got BritBox, and it’s on there, along with “Vera”.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Love love love love love Vera

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
  • TundraGrifter

    Did anybody else notice the size of Mr. Obama’s hands? Other than President Trump, of course…

  • faroutinNM

    If Trump makes it to the official portrait artist selection while still “President”, he’d have a tough time finding an artist/sycophant who would paint his hands more bigly (or “big-league”, if you prefer) than Obama’s giant, capable, sure hands.

    …and Trump’s other parts that supposedly have “no problem” with their size would hopefully remain safelt concealed behind his very long, red “modesty” tie. Being seated in his customary position in Putin’s lap also might present a problem.

    • Vel Venturi

      There’s not enough orange paint for a portrait.

  • tehbaddr

    I just know there’s RWNJ disparaging photoshops out there already.

  • WilbyToad

    CALLER: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
    GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
    CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
    GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
    CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
    GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
    CALLER: My usual? You know me?
    GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large
    pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
    CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …
    GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives
    on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
    CALLER: What? I detest vegetables!
    GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
    CALLER: How the hell do you know?!
    GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
    We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
    CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for
    my cholesterol.
    GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.
    According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once,
    at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
    CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.
    GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
    CALLER: I paid in cash.
    GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
    CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
    GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using
    an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
    CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?!!!
    GOOGLE: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
    CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.
    I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and
    no one to watch me or spy on me.
    GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…

    malaise / DU Member
    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210222347

    All too scary funny true.

  • Vel Venturi

    I like them. I particularly like Michelle’s, she looks like she’s about to get up and smash the patriarchy.

    I’m sure that if Dear Leader gets a portrait, it will be by the nutjob rightwing ‘artist’ that paints all the crazy shit.

    • Brian Fowler

      Like this?

      • Delu

        Because you know, political correctness is the big bad until its used for your own benefit.

        Heck We could change “political correctness” to “decency” in that pic and it would be a far more apt description of Trumpians.

      • Vel Venturi

        I’m sure that hack would be in the running.

      • jowgajen

        That dude needs to have his meds adjusted.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          As in Thorazine, stat.

      • redarmyzombie

        Not shown in picture: the back of Donald Trump’s head.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHwOMWGAg_o

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Oh key-rist this guy is fucking certifiable.

  • Lord Jim
  • hudson

    so the sum total of all GoP message for today is: as long as your not dying from missiles and from “hypothetical” enemies, you should not complain about any real maladies, or any violation of any of rights. ok got it massa.

  • TundraGrifter

    OK – Blaming anybody for a portrait painted of them is downright stupid. If I read a poor book that’s not my fault – I didn’t write it. I hear astonishingly bad music on the radio every day (whatever happened to Country Music, by the way?) – that’s not my fault. I just tuned in. If I sit for a photograph and jump up in the middle of the shot I guess that would make a bad picture my fault. Other than that – Nope.

    • Delu

      Nah Trumpians aren’t “blaming Obama” for those portraits, they are simply hating on them.

      It’s the more direct of the 2 choices.

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      As to Country music, right wingers got mad at the Dixie Chicks back when W was president.

      • CripesAmighty

        There is no ‘good’ country music: musically insipid, thematically infantile. 3 chords and a complaint form.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          And nasal twangy singing.

      • TundraGrifter

        Yes – but even Toby Keith came around to realizing the Chicks were right.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I’ve been looking at those paintings for over an hour now, and I like them more and more. I love the antique chair Barry is sitting in, it makes a wonderful contrast with the background and his contemporary suit. Michelle’s dress is really intriguing. I think the artist got her eyes slightly wrong, but rest of her face is very good.

    I don’t understand people who criticize art. Art is very personal, just like music. If you don’t like it, don’t look at it. Nobody liked Van Gogh’s paintings during his lifetime (he only sold one), but he is now considered by many to be the greatest Dutch painter after Rembrandt. I wouldn’t buy a Picasso even if I could afford one, but I acknowledge that they are great paintings.

  • Michael R

    I’m repeating ZB’s Sunday gray day , because that’s a thing I do

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/406c6e44b9e995231afb9804110ae2f9942908dbd652a58efcd8984facdc1106.gif

    • memzilla Ω

      Two impossible things to do in our universe are:
      1. Dividing by zero
      2. Throwing a ball to a lab more times than they want to fetch it

  • natoslug

    I like Barack Obama’s portrait. I’d like Michelle Obama’s portrait more if she weren’t so muted (sorry, ‘trix! :( ). For some reason, I think a bold, powerful woman should have a bolder portrait. And I think Ben Shapiro is an ambulatory bag of flaming dog shit.

    • Left Coast Tom

      As mentioned below I really like Michelle’s portrait…but at least we can agree on Ben Shapiro.

      • natoslug

        I think part of my problem with it is how the Reich constantly attacked her, tried to make her go away. For some reason, her being so washed out leaves me with a sense that they sort of succeeded. It is not a rational reaction, I realize. I will probably learn to really like it after a few more viewings, maybe on a better monitor, or maybe at larger than just a few inches tall. And really, my opinion is meaningless — as long as she is happy with it, then it is a good portrait. Personally, I would like to have seen her in the decapitation photo, holding Ivanka or Dotard’s head, but I am guessing that really would not have gone over well.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Yeah, the Religious Trumpsters seem surprisingly unfamiliar with Judith and Holofernes.

          • LadyLaz

            That appears in my book as a metaphor. Except it’s a Roman being decapitated

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          She’s not washed out, it’s a signature of the artist. And, a possible statement is that M knows that she is but one brave voice for all who fall within the cultural definitions of the dress which takes up most of the portrait.

          We humans all over the Earth are but shades of brown.

        • Gosala

          I’ve been thinking about this. I wonder if the way her dress drapes like a water flowing from a fountain and the splash of color around the bottom have something to do with it.

    • Delu

      It’s probably the contrast talking there, comparing the 2 portraits, the bright background on Obama’s makes the entire portrait of Michelle seem washed out color wise.

      • cmd resistor

        So they won’t be displayed in the same place I think I read so that solves that one.

    • jowgajen

      I like the femininity. The pose is at odds with itself, lending tension to the composition. No one would have both their arms like that, though each arm is believable separately – it adds some motion and action to the piece.

      I love the softness of her shape, but her muscles are clearly defined — it is a feminine strength. Wholly appropriate for a woman whose femininity was routinely denied by her detractors. I also love the implied shape of her knee and bold curve of her thigh and posterior beneath the folds of the dress — it evokes a hidden strength, the length and muscularity of her body is celebrated even while concealed.

      Each detail of her is presented separately, her eyes are right, but not quite angled correctly on her face, which is angled a little awkwardly from her shoulders, which lends to the stylized poses of the arms. Each detail says something about her, but you have to draw the whole person in your mind — she is not easily splayed out on the canvas for you, you must consider each facet of her and construct the full woman for yourself.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I agree she is a vibrant warm individual, and making her look faded is strange. The only term that comes to mind is whitewashing.

  • La forza del resistino

    New WH strategery on how wife beater guy slipped thru w/o security clearance since day one … let’s blame original CoS, Reince.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Really? Because earlier today I read a very strange thing about L’il Donnie calling Reince to whine about how much he hates John Kelley.

      • La forza del resistino

        My sources are just IMHO. But, Donald is the most fickle of lovers leaving you tomorrow, behind the pickle.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I’m not really doubting what you read…or what I read. Just noting the extreme impermanence of the various notions that swirl around what L’il Donnie insists is a “brain”.

          • La forza del resistino

            governance as a reality show … stay tuned for next week’s episode.

    • Delu

      I thought they laid that one on Obama as they do for everything else.

  • Tiffany de Houston

    Is anyone watching the Westminster Dog Show?

    • Parakeetist

      Aww shit, time for awesome

    • Delu

      Not really into British Politics.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        You spelled Canadian Parliament Question Period wrong.

  • Shawn Charniga

    It’s hilarious that these people just CANNOT STAND the fact that they’ll never be as smart, classy, successful or as happy as the Obamas.

    Have another glass of Haterade, deplorables.

  • gnomemansanisland

    When is Limbaugh having a massive infarction

    • Parakeetist

      From your lips to Ceiling Cat’s ears

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      He is long overdue for a nap of earthy variety.

  • Thiazin Red

    Chloe Kim is ridiculously good. Her father is adorable.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      What’s up with our 17 year old kids blowing up?

      • Thiazin Red

        They said that she was that good 4 years ago but the age limits kept her out.

      • Parakeetist

        Spontaneous combustion?

  • Thiazin Red

    I’m going to have to watch the local news tonight, they’re going to ask subway conductors if they’ve seen mole people.

  • LadyLaz

    I like them. They are different. And the artists weren’t fuckers who snuck in a blue dress or a goddamn lewinski shadow like they did for Bill.

  • janecita

    As if we didn’t have enough shit to worry about!

    https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/02/12/health/human-eye-worms/index.html

    • As someone who used to work in parasitology…. cool! Who’d have thought?

  • jowgajen

    I’d like to point out that though the paintings are by two different artists, both artists chose to highlight their subjects’ respective wedding rings.

    • Parakeetist

      Squee

  • ah, the memories! watching Chris Hayes talking about ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶G̶e̶S̶t̶a̶P̶o̶ ICE and the bullshit they’ve been up to and thinking back to all the times when a whole flock of purity ponies kept calling Obama Deporter-in-Chief.

  • Thiazin Red

    Why does the Olympics use the Brisco County theme? What is up with that?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      John Williams is a shameless plagiarist.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I’m cooking a dish that involves roasting broccoli and sweet potato piece with chipotle sauce. This could be interesting or it could be a disaster. We. Shall. See.

    • Dixie Gale

      Pls. post your verdict!

    • puredog

      Each of those ingredients is fine. But your conclusion is, I think, correct, maybe even underinclusive.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe7971ab99bf803df870dae2285c1e6f56b9fc13fba716ef55a136d538addf89.png this week This Modern World or how Tom Tommorow struggles against reality

    • AJ Milne

      It’s probably already been properly identified/explained by someone, somewhere, but it’s really struck me:

      There’s a whole vein of chaos/confusion as the goal in recent propaganda from the axis of authoritarians in general…

      … Trump’s authoritarian sensei a hemisphere over in Russia doesn’t, for example, really attempt to create a monolithic party line, what right-thinking Russian patriots think. His services more generate a lot of crazy, a lot of rumours, a lot of noise, a lot of confusion. There may even be the odd story in there that’s critical of his regime. The thinking probably being: the confusion in it all buys credibility. It’s a ‘marketplace of ideas’, except that it’s so flooded with utter nonsense, it’s hard to piece together what’s really going on. One of the end results of which is that wild-eyed conspiracy theories about child sex rings in pizza parlours wind up having equal stature to stuff _not_ just cooked up and talked up by the botnet… So a marketplace of ideas in which 99% of it is crap and it’s almost impossible to pay attention in the firehose of noise to what’s actually important…

      … and it really doth look like West of the Atlantic, someone’s learning from this.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        America I fear is repeatly becoming the next Russia. Trump and the Right are happily emulating Putin and his government. Its unsettling to say the least.

        • AJ Milne

          I’ve a soliloquy on me, speaking of, on whataboutism, applied especially to excesses of the current kleptocracy in charge in that long suffering nation… Point out, for example, the Putinistas’ fondness for political murder, get a lot of energetic equivocation, drone strikes and so on…

          … several problems with the general shape of the argument. But the alarming part is the implication that actually instituting such a nakedly repressive regime wouldn’t really be so much worse than what the US has already. No papering over such problems as _have_ already too long festered, I think you’d learn quickly and brutally what an exaggeration and rhetorical irresponsibility this was, actually running such an experiment.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            Its not a perfect compraison. I do believe if America ever becomes a dicatorship, it will be a distinct form. The famous quote that facistism in America will come wrap in the America flag and carryign a Bible is apt.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Okay, show of hands. Who thinks this is a really dumb idea?

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/963224085051387909

    • jowgajen

      Walmart will never let it fly.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        This!

    • janecita

      They won’t be happy until the poor start dying on the streets from starvation.

      • TJ Barke

        Naw, then they’ll be angry about the nerve of those poors to die on their streets!

        • janecita

          Probably charging their families the cost of the body removal.

      • let them eat Trump steak.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          I think the UN would consider that a human rights violation.

      • Thiazin Red

        Or at the very least have to use food stamps to purchase literal gruel while people get to shame them.

      • OrG

        Does it have to be starvation?

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
      • Cat Cafe

        Oooh! Oooh! Who wants a cool piece of trivia?? That child actor was John Howard Davies, who went on to become Comedy Head at the BBC, and then produced Fawlty Towers!

    • Stulexington

      Um, didn’t capitalism prove once and for all that government distributed food is horribly inefficient?

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        In Soviet Russia, food eat you.

    • yyyaz

      That is exactly what poor folks used to get: potted meat product, surplus cheese, shitty generic canned vegetables, terrible peanut butter. I know.

      • The cheese was pretty good, though. Also: Non-fat dried milk

        • yyyaz

          I loved school because I could get real milk.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        I just imagine now it’ll be a plain cardboard box that says “FOOD” on the side.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          “TRUMPFARE”

      • OrG

        Hasil Adkins wrote songs about it.

    • La forza del resistino

      But I hate cauliflower, Big Mother.

    • clearly concocted by someone who has never experienced any of the struggle.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Fuck that. I’m sure there are plenty of MREs approaching their expiration dates. Birds, meet stone.

      Damn I would make a great republican.

      • Are there no C-rations?

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Poor people don’t deserve can openers.

          • Gosala

            They don’t. They deserve $12,000 a year no strings attached.

      • Gosala

        You would make a terrible Republican. You grok their horribleness, but your heart’s not in it.

    • Resistor Radio

      Oh my god.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      What they need is access to healthier foods and better options at reasonable prices.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        Communist.

        • Tennessee Rain Genius

          In my house, with my two daughters, we have a running joke. If someone doesn’t like something most others do or hasn’t done something most people have, they are asked, “What are you? A communist?” So, one time, my daughter, then five, and I were in the grocery store and I was asking her if we should get some pickles. She said, “I don’t like pickles,” so I asked, “What are you? A communist?” And she put her hands on her hips and declared, “Yes, I AM.” I have no idea what the people within earshot of us thought of that conversation!

    • gallbladder

      Fucking nuts.

    • Werewolf

      As I said this morning, we need to use his full title:
      Little Rat-faced Git Mick Mulvaney.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      MICHELLE NOBAMA WNATS TO DECIDE WUT PEEPLE EET!!!!!!!!!

    • OrG

      Hey,when I was on food stamps no one from the government was helping me-that wingnut coach dude.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      They’d probably use that company that packaged up junk food for Puerto Rico’s hurricane victims.

    • Mick Mulvaney is on my list of people with whom Id like to board an elevator with.

      And to think he’s being touted as the next Chief of Staff?

      He’s a lobby to penthouse ride.

      • anglrdr

        Hopefully, a really sketchy elevator that has a tendency to just not work, with the doors in a closed position and no security cameras.

    • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

      Terrible idea. People will just trade the food for drugs.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Instead of receiving all their food stamp funds, households would get a box of food that the government describes as nutritious and 100% grown and produced in the U.S. The so-called USDA America’s Harvest Box would contain items such as shelf-stable milk, juice, grains, cereals, pasta, peanut butter, beans, canned meat, poultry or fish, and canned fruits and vegetables. The box would be valued at about half of the SNAP recipient’s monthly benefit. The remainder of their benefits would be given to them on electronic benefit cards, as before.

      I have heard republicans talk about this before and when you ask about allergies the only response they ever have is “people eat out of trash cans if they wont eat this then they are not hungry”.

      • Shanzgood (16 Days!)

        Assholes.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I like the idea, but only if the box is labelled ‘food stamp queen rations’ and those receiving it can only acknowledge receipt by signing while prostrate. If we just want to humiliate lower income folks, let’s not beat around the bush

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Makes me think of a box of hammers.

    • Shibusa

      Sounds like it has great potential to become a big ol’ cash giveaway to some generous food giant campaign donors–Kellogg, maybe, or General Mills. In return, those companies would get to move a lot of cheap, processed, packaged foods filled with cancer-causing preservatives, artificial colors, trans fat, and high fructose corn syrup at an absurdly high markup. Yay!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Does it come in a big box with Purina Taker Chow in prominent lettering so your neighbors can see it when it’s left on the doorstep? Because the poor will never learn otherwise.

    • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

      Perhaps the “private” food could come from the same folks that supply our privatized prisons? I hear that’s been a HUGE mother-fucking success.

    • Blender_415

      Oh, this is just a fantastic idea. And when they get called out on it for being class warfare (from the top down), Pooty Lips will just come out and state, for the record, “No, You’re the Class Warfare!” Then the NYT editorial board will fall to their knees and worship the idea, and it will come to pass. The End.

  • WilbyToad

    GOP candidate’s parents make max donations to his Dem opponent

    The parents of GOP Senate candidate Kevin Nicholson have maxed out their campaign contributions to the Democrat he’s challenging, CNN reported Monday.

    Each of Nicholson’s parents gave $2,700 to Sen. Tammy Baldwin’s (D-Wisc.) campaign in December 2017, the largest amount they can give during the Democratic primary.

    by JACQUELINE THOMSEN / THE HILL
    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/373536-gop-candidates-parents-make-max-donations-to-his-dem-opponent
    Conversion therapy would be wrong. Kevin was born a dickwad.

  • data_ninja

    The acid, it is brown.
    https://vimeo.com/212731897

  • ken_kukec

    Kehinde Wiley sure gave Barry some big ol’ hands in that portrait, huh?

  • Time has yet to weigh in on the portraits. I have a feeling that time will find them both master works.