Also, the “For Sale” ad on Craigslist is full of typos.

Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think Donald Trump’s stupidity is vast and galaxy-spanning, but that’s just peanuts to space. Still, Trump’s supply of stupid is awfully impressive, as demonstrated by Sunday’s Washington Post story on a leaked NASA document revealing the administration’s plan to stop funding the International Space Station and turn it over to private industry. Happily, virtually everyone, including companies already doing free enterprise in space, thinks that’s just the worst idea ever. Even worse than trying to design something completely foolproof while underestimating the ingenuity of complete fools.

NASA is currently studying how the service life of the ISS could be extended to 2028 or beyond, but there’s also this proposal to just pack it in. The administration’s vision would mean ending ISS funding altogether by 2024, and between now and then coming up with an actual plan for unloading the station — which America only spent $100 billion building and running — over to somebody with an idea for making it a for-profit venture. There’s no real transition plan yet, but by golly, that’s never stopped Trump and company before:

“The decision to end direct federal support for the ISS in 2025 does not imply that the platform itself will be deorbited at that time — it is possible that industry could continue to operate certain elements or capabilities of the ISS as part of a future commercial platform,” the document states. “NASA will expand international and commercial partnerships over the next seven years in order to ensure continued human access to and presence in low Earth orbit.”

Plans to develop the ISS as a Trump hotel are so far not envisioned, but just give the bastards time. Such planning as they’ve done so far is mostly a plan to spend money on getting America out of the space business, which should be handed over to business, just like public schools. The administration will request $150 million for 2019, and more each year after that,

to enable the development and maturation of commercial entities and capabilities which will ensure that commercial successors to the ISS — potentially including elements of the ISS — are operational when they are needed.

“Potentially including elements of the ISS”? Sounds like just letting it fall to Earth actually is one of the options.

The one bright spot here is that virtually no one is standing up and cheering for this brilliant idea. Even Ted Cruz — the profoundly anti-science dickhead who thinks NASA shouldn’t waste money studying Earth, because global warming is bad for his donors in the oil bidniss, is appalled at the report:

Last week, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) said he hoped recent reports of NASA’s decision to end funding of the station “prove as unfounded as Bigfoot.” He said the decision was the result of “numskulls” at the Office of Management and Budget.

“As a fiscal conservative, you know one of the dumbest things you can to is cancel programs after billions in investment when there is still serious usable life ahead,” he said.

Yes, that’s how bad things have gotten. We’re forced to agree with Ted Cruz. Now please excuse us while we go wipe our memory core.

The WaPo piece is full of quotes from space capitalists who think this plan stinks to high heaven, which is actually well past low-Earth orbit. There’s the CEO of Made In Space, an outfit that’s actually doing small-scale manufacturing with 3D printers on the ISS, who says, “The ISS is built for science and human exploration, it’s not built for profit seeking.” There’s also Frank Slazer, of the Aerospace Industries Association, who points out a rather inconvenient detail the Trump geniuses appear to have overlooked, which would be the first word in the space station’s freaking NAME:

“It will be very hard to turn ISS into a truly commercial outpost because of the international agreements that the United States is involved in,” he said. “It’s inherently always going to be an international construct that requires U.S. government involvement and multinational cooperation.”

No love from Boeing for taping a “For Sale” sign to the space station’s window, either:

Last month, as reports circulated about NASA pulling the plug on the station, Mark Mulqueen, Boeing’s space station program manager, said “walking away from the International Space Station now would be a mistake, threatening American leadership and hurting the commercial market as well as the scientific community.”

The NASA document appears to be the only booster (get it?!) for privatization, gushing about a still more glorious dawn that will see

the emergence of an environment in [low Earth orbit] where NASA is one of many customers of a non-governmental human space flight managed and operated enterprise, while providing a smooth and uninterrupted transition.

Again, no details on how that transition would take place, what companies might want to buy the ISS (probably none), what private industry would even do with it (probably nothing — again, it’s built for research), or how exactly we’d work all that out with the other partners in the ISS: Canada, Japan, Russia, and the 11 countries in the European Space Agency. We have a feeling they might not be too jazzed at the idea, particularly since half of the station was built and is “owned” by Russia, and the other half consists of modules built jointly by the USA and its international partners. It’s not especially practical to talk about taking our modules and going home.

It seems unlikely this leaked document will be the last word on the matter — while nobody may want to try making a free-market go of the ISS, it does have powerful political friends in Congress and in the aerospace industry, and jobs really do depend on having a government-run space program, as Time points out:

It’s not just Texas and Florida that would be ticked off at station privatization. Like any good, unkillable government project, the ISS has its roots sunk in congressional districts all over the country, where manufacturers and suppliers have long relied on regular contracts to continue servicing the station. You can barely turn a bolt in the station without somebody’s cash register ringing on Earth. Running that revenue through private lessees would only dilute the cash flow.

So there we are again: Big Aerospace and defense contractors feeding at the public trough may end up being the best hope for the ISS continuing as it has. We’re OK with that — a little irony is far more appealing than seeing one of humanity’s greatest achievements being auctioned off for pennies on the dollar.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us your woolongs, bounty hunters!

[WaPo / Time]

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  • Nounverb911
  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    When even Ted Cruz sounds reasonable it’s time for you to step back and consider your life choices.

    • richardgrabman

      Less reasonable than wanting to save his butt. If NASA is theatened, Ted Cruz, we have a problem.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump’s Plan To Privatize International Space

    “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Dave.”
    “Dave’s not here, man!”

    • doktorzoom

      This mission is too important to allow Donald to jeopardize it.

      • The Wanderer

        “My God, it’s full of idiots!”

  • ArgieBargie
    • Msgr_MΩment

      I thought Nature abhorred a vacuum?

      • President in Exile Firefly

        No, that’s cats.

    • dslindc

      Will we have to use the Schwartz to operate it?

    • LiberalANDProud

      But does your maid suck or blow?

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns


  • Eileen Besse

    This pisses me off to NO END….

  • dslindc

    Yes, that’s how bad things have gotten. We’re forced to agree with Ted Cruz. Now please excuse us while we go wipe our memory core.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      Poor Thorgy: he was his own worst enemy.

  • Covfefe

    Donald Trump is the master of bankruptcy. Trump can make money privatizing the international space station.

  • therblig

    obviously, jarvanka wants to have zero gravity sex, so they put this bug in daddy’s ear.

    • Marion in Savannah


  • alwayspunkindrublic

    And extra Gohmert Points to Ted Cruz for misspelling “numbskull”.

    • doktorzoom

      Eh, it’s an accepted alternate spelling. And if that was from a phone interview, it’s on the reporters/style guide.

      Not that I’d entirely put it past Ted Cruz to misspell a spoken word.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Stupid liberals and your “accepted usage” and “alternate spelling”.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, that’s Dok for you — just harshing your mellow.

          • alwayspunkindrublic


  • Indiepalin

    Putting the responsibility for the space station in private hands could result in a lot of unforeseen problems. For instance, what if the private spaceship company is careless and accidentally allows a wild bear into the supply ship? Can you imagine the damage such an occurrence would engender?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You’ve seen the sneak peaks of Aliens V?

    • John Thorstensen

      They’d probably break the ant farm, too. Then we might never know if ants can sort tiny screws in space!

  • Timothy Watson

    Cruz is probably just pissed about the number of NASA employees and contractors in Texas.

    • doktorzoom

      Absolutely. And in this case, I’m perfectly fine with that.

    • richardgrabman

      And he should be.

  • BigCSouthside

    I think we should split this country up. One side gets the science and engineering and liberal government, the other side gets god, guns, and the GOP. Let’s just do that.

    • therblig

      we get the avocados, too

      • BigCSouthside

        Of course. Avocados are dirty brown people food, the red America wouldn’t want that anyway

        • Canned Covfefe

          Wait, I thought they were elitist food?

    • Relativicus

      No fucking way would I share a national border with those kooks and not be armed myself. They claim all they really want is a home free from liberal depredations, but nobody should be fooled into thinking they could tolerate sharing a border with us for very long.

      • TJ Barke

        Marx himself said the working classes should never allow themselves to be disarmed…

        • Relativicus

          Is there nothing Groucho can’t teach us?

        • Source plz? I’m a commie and I’ve never heard that one outside US memes.

          • TJ Barke

            I don’t remember where I heard it, I just like it cuz it makes wingnuts malfunction.

          • Yeah, but there’s a real problem on the US Left, especially in the Southern states, with the idea that the answer to fascist goon squads is for white Leftists to buy their own bang-bangs and start training like they’re the Sandinistas or something. There is nothing to suggest that this would have a good outcome, either for them or for the oppressed communities they imagine themselves defending. They ain’t no Black Panthers, just white boys playing dress-up.

          • TJ Barke

            There is going to be no good outcome for anything. We’re all fucked. The plutocracy wins.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Well, duh, build a wall

      • BigCSouthside

        We got science. They bring ARs, we bring stealth drones that can shoot a missile into their chimney from 30k feet.

  • Scooby

    Just tell Trump the space station is now the ultimate power in the galaxy.

  • msanthropesmr

    We will just take the Great Glass Elevator and have to fend off the Vermicious KnIds.

    • The Wanderer

      I award you ten Literary Internets.

  • proudgrampa

    “…the emergence of an environment in [low Earth orbit] where NASA is one of many customers of a non-governmental human space flight managed and operated enterprise, while providing a smooth and uninterrupted transition.”

    Anything to do with this administration is unlikely to have a “smooth and uninterrupted transition.”

  • Ghenghis McCann

    ‘Space; The final frontier grift.’

  • The Wanderer

    “Foolproof?” Like the Titanic was “unsinkable.”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Just like that fucker Trump to sell something he doesn’t even fucking own all of…

    • BigCSouthside

      Pretty much his entire business strategy since about 1994

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Lifelong pattern. And now he’s a dotard as well. Putin, you need to fix your puppet.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        A few strings seem to be tangled.

      • reelreeler

        Because of Trump I had to learn something from and agree with the DPRK about: The word “dotard”. Thanks to Trump I’ve had to agree with Ted Cruz and Kim Jong Un….fuck it all

  • arglebargle

    Can we at least agree that the ISS should be open carry?

  • TJ Barke

    It’s an administration of the looters, by the looters and for the looters.

  • SadDemInTex

    This money going to NASA…just send it to this account in the Cayman Islands…ask for Vladimir.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Can someone convince the Dotard that NASA stands for ‘Nazis Are So Amazing’, to guarantee that he’ll never cut their funding?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Because ISS looks like ISIS and must be defeated.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Sadly, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if this was the “reasoning” behind it.

  • msanthropesmr

    We can sell it to Tesla, and when the oxygen supply runs short, they can claim that it was “user error” and they are still undergoing beta testing.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Yeah, but you libtards didn’t care when Hillary sold Dilithium One to the Cardassians!

    Deep State Nine, sheeple!

    • PubOption

      Dilithium One = butt implants?

    • doktorzoom

      Bravo, would upvote if my upvoter didn’t have this terrible pain in all the diodes down its left side.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        And that makes my day!

        • Barbara

          Goℴgle pays to people of all ages 97 dollars per-hour to complete few task off a home computer .. Labor for only few hours & fun greater time with your own friends . Any person can catch this specific job!!last weekend I purchased a new McLaren F2 after just getting $15422 this-past/five weeks .it’s certainly the best work however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t look it.!zx531j:=>=>> http://GoogleCubeBestFreelanceInternetJobs/make/97$/h ♥♥j♥♥♥l♥♥♥x♥u♥♥m♥♥♥e♥♥♥c♥♥♥l♥♥♥a♥♥♥z♥i♥♥♥u♥g♥o♥♥p♥♥g♥g♥♥♥o♥♥♥d♥♥♥k♥♥v♥♥♥a♥♥♥c♥♥♥v♥c::!ne682y:dyfcmo

      • Villago Delenda Est
      • monoglot

        Oops. Read that as “dildos,” and wondered how many were on the left side and if there were an equal number on the right–to say nothing of why there are left and right side dildos.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      All the upfists!

    • MynameisBlarney


      Very. Hard.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        And that’s the way I like it.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Deep State Nine couldn’t hold a candle to Benghazi 5.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Benghazi 5 is the name for my nonexistent protopunk/freestyle jazz/reggae all accordion band.

    • TJ Barke

      She aims to misbehave.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The word “brilliant” only begins to tell the story here.

    • LiberalANDProud

      Fake News out of Uranus.

      • data_ninja

        Watch out for the Klingons!

        • Querolous

          chenmoH wo’ Dun jatlhqa’

    • Alexander Stallwitz


  • Christopher Story

    So when does Elon Musk and his space activities start bumping into the Outer Space Treaty?

    • TJ Barke

      Don’t you know that corporations are better than everyone everywhere and must be allowed to do whatever they want or else it’s tyranny? The Koch brothers told me all about it.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Ground Control to Donald Trump
    Ground Control to Donald Trump
    Eat your KFC and put your fake hair on
    Ground Control to Donald Trump (Ten, nine, eight, seven, six)

    Commencing bidding, auction on (Five, four, three, two)
    Check credit and may Huckabee’s God’s love be with you (Two, one, liftoff)
    This is Ground Control to Donald Trump
    You’ve really made the grade
    And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
    Now it’s time to leave the golf course if you dare

    • Marion in Savannah

      [golf claps] Well done!

  • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

    Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturitions are to me / As money laundering and Russian hooker pee.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      …to… uh… counterpoint the humanity–sorry Vogonity, of the president’s compassionate soul, which in seeking to overcome this and transcends that and bring a greater understanding into — whatever this proposal is about!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        The airlock is right over there.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.

  • Nounverb911

    Official Obama portraits about to be revealed, trump to anger tweet something stupid in 3…2…1…

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘Too small. My official portrait will be the bigliest.’

      • TJ Barke

        And he’ll pass a law that all future portraits must be smaller.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Not small enough.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        Waddya wanna bet his massive hands will be featured

      • weejee
      • Ducksworthy

        It just occurred to me that the reason he wants that wall is that it will be (another) lasting monument to the greatness of Trump. It will be like the Great Pyramid of Kufu. Maybe he’d like to be buried in it.

      • LiberalANDProud

        Portrait? They’re gonna have to use landscape to fit that big ass in the picture.

  • msanthropesmr

    Let’s commission Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings to write a poem for the space station.

    • Kateaux

      She might make an appropriate Poet Laureate for the Trump Administration.

  • BigCSouthside

    Oh Christ, Steve Bannon is trending on twitter and I’m afraid to look

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • WotsAllThisThen

    Please direct all questions to the Peter Thiel Spacesteading Institute.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One way. To the Oort Cloud.

  • Relativicus

    Last week we were reminded that the American people remain still very much fascinated in space and space exploration. It also should be mentioned that the desire to engage in the Space Race was one of those times when America was truly great. It kind of went along with our previous desires to lead the world in science and technology, two other things that made us great. All of that collides quite unfortunately with our New Greatness, which involves surrendering all scientific and technological innovation to the rest of the world, while we repurpose “innovation” to mean “innovative ways in which to [maybe] legally make money for wealthy people and Wealthy People Adjacents.”

    Dunno what my point is, or why I even thought of it.

    • HazooToo

      Most of America isn’t as sobbingly stupid as it seems?

    • BigCSouthside

      One of the Kardashian’s baby announcement videos had 30 million more views than Falcon Heavy.

      I wouldn’t put much faith in our love of science and exploration

      • Relativicus

        Well, the “exploitation” part is cooked into our dna.

        • BigCSouthside

          I can’t type on this damn phone

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’ve got the germ of just how fucked we are in there somewhere.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      I interact with former classmates all the time. They were clever kids, but now many of them are brainwashed by FOX and Limbaugh. That’s what happened.

  • IMPOed

    OT: Flashback, Michael Obama speaking at portrait unavailing, snubs Dumbfuck!

  • Next step: Privatize the Moon.

    Think big.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Yellerduck

      I was going to say, “What, no laser?”, then I saw the laser. This is a complete work of art.

    • calliecallie

      Sorry, it’s Infrastructure Week. (Again.)

    • Regret

      Interstellar Space Shark or Inter Stellar Shark?
      It is a conundrum.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie

    Will Donald Trump be the first man to declare bankruptcy IN SPACE?!? Will he “Boldly go (broke) where no man has gone before?”

    • HooverVilles


  • Blender_415

    Dear Penthouse Forum… I never thought this would happen to me, but I had a few (tens of) million dollars sitting around… so I bought a ride on Musk’s taxi service, took my soon-to-be fourth wife to the ISS and joined the 250 mile-high club…

  • William

    Ted Cruz a fiscal conservative? Next thing you’ll be telling me is that the GOP cares about the federal budget.

    • HooverVilles

      There is no cognitive dissonance when the brain’s belief/reason toggle switch is permanently set to belief.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Look, if this will facilitate sending all congressional GOP types on a rocket ship to the sun, I’m open to exploring the idea.

  • LiberalANDProud
  • William
  • anon_the_great

    1st, is it wise to mock the Vogons? I mean the last time that happened…

    2nd, Elon Musk will be living in space with Go Go guys and girls a decade before the ISS sale paperwork is done.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Eh, no one would bother with Earth because it is inhabited with beings so primitive they think a digital watch is a pretty clever idea……(I paraphrase)

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Donnie doesn’t want it anymore ’cause it runs on solar panels. And like the Puerto Ricans,it keeps needing supplies sent up which is difficult on the shipping companies. And you know….SCIENCE. Plus it is INTERNATIONAL. MAGA, America first. And ya can’t put it in a parade.

    I think the best thing is we sell it to a private incarceration firm and use it to house the hardest terrorists…..GITMO 2.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Geeze, don’t give him any ideas.

  • Ducksworthy

    Taken together, Trump’s tweets constitute an alien assault of Vogon Poetry on our national consciousness.

  • LiberalANDProud
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    NASA should tell him they’re working on a plan to put TRUMP in gold lights on the space station that can be seen from Earth. That should be enough to keep him busy til he’s impeached.

  • CeeQ

    Putin told his appointee in the White House to clear the ISS of international allies and allow Russia to “own” it in completely. Next chapter – nuclear thermal warhead lands in the middle of Des Moines. Mission accomplished comrades!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “high heaven, which is actually well past low-Earth orbit”

    Which did require a revision of Bibble Science once we got to low-Earth orbit and didn’t eye any angels, beards, gates, or grandmas.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      And now we’re past Pluto and STILL haven’t spotted anything. Sheesh. Long way to go for a pair of wings and a harp.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        “To go where no one’s soul has gone before”

      • Kiri the Unicorn
      • LiberalANDProud

        Never go to Pluto. It’s a Mickey Mouse planet.

      • Regret

        The trick is go right at the 2730530978297843630299058580560494848959th hydrogen atom, otherwise you miss heaven completely.

  • William
  • MynameisBlarney
    • wait! what?

      I didn’t realize that “50 Shades Freed” was a horror flick…

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    We really are the B Ark, aren’t we?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Just tell him that North Korea wants to get into the space race and he’ll forget about that silly privatization idea.

  • William

    OK, I think I’ve figured out Cheeto-shitheads sudden interest in space.

    • Hiss

      To the moon!

      • Naytch

        She is a Harsh Mistress, and if his Tweets can’t reach Earth, all the better!

    • HooverVilles

      I dunno, more like 239 lbs on an asteroid.

    • BearGHAZI

      You can see the fat pouring over his watch band

  • Rick Hill

    trump wants to make it a “love” hotel, bill it as the 245 mile high club

    • Beanz&Berryz

      The google says 254 mile high club

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        It just went over last night, and I could see them hanging party lights!!!

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I’ve seen it once or twice. A very cool treat.

      • wait! what?

        It’s 239#s miles.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    anyone for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?

  • HooverVilles

    I posted this on another thread. I must be a super stable genius. Actually not, but I thought it was interesting that FOX was posting this story about Trump wanting to privatize this among everything else.

    HooverVilles • 11 hours ago
    OT: I just saw this.

    Trump is planning on privatizing the International Space Station. From FOX SPEWS no less.

    Trump is despoiling literally everything.

    Edit: underlined the word international to emphasize his cluelessness.

  • William
  • IMPOed

    FUCK Donny Dumbfuck!!

  • dragonfyre

    The dumbass probably has the ISS confused with ISIS.

  • I believe Douglas would approve:

    Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think Donald Trump’s stupidity is vast and galaxy-spanning, but that’s just peanuts to space.

    Travel on, you hoopy frood

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So if the Taint Maladministration does decide to sell the ISS, will you guys join me in a Go Fund Me effort to buy it? Of course we’d have to take turns staying on it and stuff. We’d have to timeshare. Damn it, we’ll have to pay Elon to get us up there.

  • Mavenmaven

    Now Trump can’t even be accused of being a little rocket man.

  • beatbort

    Oh, please, please do make it a CEO getaway. The more of them up there, off our planet, the better for all forms of sentient life down here.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah but, thing is, space life is the final evolution of the human species. Stoopidity up there means everyone dies. You just know those idjits would have to put their dickskinners on anything they were told not to touch.

    • Regret

      Won’t work. CEOs are like any other pest, they will always fill any ecological niche to capacity. So if you send some away, a new generation will arise. The only way to reduce the biomass of CEOs is to reduce the size of their niche. Since CEOs mostly appear in large companies we need some kind of predation pressure. I propose an organization (could be government, could be an NGO) that takes apart the top 10 largest companies every year and distributes their assets.

      Any attempts by companies to dodge being in the top would be good: they will have to split or shrink, either way they will give more room to new growth.

  • Kateaux

    Love the Douglas Adams reference, Dok. Do you suppose we could arrange a visti for our Dear Leader to the Total Perspective Vortex? Would he not “enjoy” seeing his true and glorious place in the Universe?

    • Rags

      I’m afraid he would react like Zaphod and be totally froody with the idea that he was the most important being in the universe.

  • CripesAmighty

    Someone round these parts presciently observed that this likely stems from Trump’s desire to show Elon Musk who’s the biggest dick in space. Next, it’s the Trump Electric car:

  • TootsStansbury

    When you’re a gigantic asshole, you just gotta shit all over everything. You can’t help it.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    This whole privatizing the ISS sounds like the prequel to a horror/scifi movie. Because you know the next step is to do illegal genetic engineering or open a portal to Hell or build an evil A.I.

    P.S Altman be Praised!

    • georgiaburning

      SciFi author Mack Reynolds wrote of this a long time ago. The space station became a medical research post fronting for a Mafia-run casino and money laundering operation. Trump would definitely like that idea.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Whats the name of the novel? I would like to read that.

        • georgiaburning

          Satellite City

    • doktorzoom

      Welcome to the Weyland-Yutani Corporation Space Station. Please enjoy your stay, and do not under any circumstances enter the Xenomorph Module.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        “You’ll always know a Working Joe”

  • Impatient

    I must raise a concern for VGTOWs … Vogons Going Their Own Way. We need to understand that even numbingly bureaucratic beings have their own culture. We may not have to “bow down to them,” but we should at least respect them.

    Actually, at this point, our best option may be to petition that Vogons reinstate their highway project, and give the Solar System a clean slate.

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    “This is Major Tom to Donald Trump–fuck you”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Just rename it International Trump Station and see how much funding you get.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Assmouth just does whatever Putin tells him to. Remember that everything he accuses others of doing is something he’s going to do himself, and now think about Uranium One. Privatizing our nuclear arsenal to a Russian contractor, anyone?

  • Nockular cavity

    FOR SALE IN 2024: Really expensive house. Only about four years worth of life in it at that point, not really good for what you might want it for, and, oh yeah, we don’t really own the whole thing. YOURS FOR A MERE $100 BILLION.

  • Johnatx

    So….. Fund ISS or fund a mission to Mars? Or, is it a possibility to use a refurbished ISS as a platform for launching vehicles to Mars.

  • Bureaucrap

    His intelligence is smaller than a pea in Dulwich.

  • AlexDeGruven

    Slow-clap for best headline of the week and it’s only Monday. Well done.

    Also: insanely stupid idea, but not surprising because it’s a Trump administration idea. Let’s just hope the rest of the stakeholders nope right out and take our share away because we’re not allowed to have nice things (I’m not even sure if it works that way, but whatever).

  • Harry Nuggets

    Privatize it. As a prison. Then once Manafort, Bannon, Skittles, Kushner and gawd knows who else is indicted and prosecuted stick them in it and set the controls for the heart of the sun.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And to save costs, limit the number of tampons and the amount of oxygen they get each month. They can always buy more at the commissary, of course.

      • Harry Nuggets

        Which one of the named numbskulls needs tampons? Skittles?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I have one question. Can the ISS central computer make a good cup of tea?

    • No, but it can make one almost, but not entirely unlike tea.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Yes, the takeaway from the career of Elon Musk is that space research works best in private hands, not that he benefited from decades of government-funded research that demonstrated that spaceflight was feasible and practical. Way to shit all over dead astronauts, Donnie.

  • He really is dumber than the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal and at least as ravenous, isn’t he?

    • Hiss

      And far less charming in person.

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      “If I can’t see the Deep State, then it can’t see me.”

  • Hiss

    Next: Literacy Outlawed. Fox News Good Enough For Me, Says Dotard.

    • phoenix00

      Betsy DeVos is ON IT.

  • the emergence of an environment in [low Earth orbit] where NASA is one of many customers of a non-governmental human space flight managed and operated enterprise, while providing a smooth and uninterrupted transition.

    Things should get super interesting once the Disney Death Star is completed. Hail, Emperor Mickey!

  • Parakeetist

    “Everybody hates Ted Cruz.” – Sen. Franken

    • DainBramage

      It’s a fundamental principle on which the universe rests.

      • Lord Jim

        Many people think that sunshine is driven by nukyular fusion. WRONG. It is powered by pure, burning hatred for Ted Cruz.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      It’s not difficult. The man has the personality of a bushel basket full of tripe sitting out in the sun, and he looks like he wants to sell you a new water heater.

      • lroom

        And that voice.

    • Backpfeifengesicht.

  • Cock Blockula

    After reading most of the comments in this thread, I’ve come to the conclusion that this site is frequented heavily by Nerds.

    In other words, my kindred spirits.

  • He really wants to turn it into a space casino, or a zero-G strip club.

    • DainBramage

      Or a zero-G retirement home for billionaires.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Villa Straylight, maybe?

    • Cobrajet

      He will sell it to Putin or China. If privatized, it will end up in one of their hands.

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Mintie

      Needs more gold lamé, gold plating, and gold veneers. Mirrors are fine, though. Mirrors are classy. Especially when they’re part of chandeliers. Ooh! Some of those, too. Big, multi-tiered glass chandeliers in the interior!

  • Resistor Radio

    Okay, so who would think this is a good idea? Who would stand to benefit? I don’t get it.

    • SDGeoff3

      Yes you do, silly goose! And we are not going to be beneficiaries.

  • HarryButtle

    What would private industry do with it? Lease it back to the government, of course.

    • HooverVilles

      What would private industry do with it? Lease it back to the government for profits, of course.
      MOAR accuraterer IMHO.

      And adding profits will make it cheaper!?!?!?!?!?

  • calliecallie

    OT, but I may not have a chance to non-comment later when I expect the Mick Mulvaney item about the CPB may appear. I was listening to the stuff about his “strategic plan” to make the Consumer Protection Bureau less aggressive, and just felt like I am living the worst remake of Horrible Bosses ever. I was thinking what a lovely thing it would be for all these cabinet members who have been appointed almost expressly to dismantle the agencies they oversee to some poetic comeuppance and just desserts. Obviously, Mulvaney’s credit card company needs to insist that he owes them billions in interest, which he denies, so they send him to jail and seize all his assets.

    Other thoughts?

    • Rebel Scum Puipui

      You had me at “send him to jail and seize all his assets.”

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Looking at the US these days feels a lot like looking at Rome in about 408 CE.

    • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

      So. You gonna join the Vandals or the Visigoths?

      • Blanche de Shambles

        I thought about joining the Alans, but I didn’t want to change my name.

        • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

          Just change it to Smithee!

  • OneYieldRegular

    You just know how this unfolded.

    “Where’s Kelly! Get Kelly in here!”
    “What’s that guy, Musk, MySpace, whatever, he sent some rocket into space, something with a big flashy star, right?”
    “Yes, he sent a rocket into space, but I think you’re thinking of another private space company sir. You mean the disco ball thing, the Humanity Star?”
    “Yeah, that flashing thing, so big everyone in the world can see it. What’s the biggest thing we have in space right now?”
    “Hardware, you mean? Probably the International Space Station.”
    “Well let’s use it. Privatize it. I don’t want a bunch of egghead fake scientists mucking about up there seeing everything we do down here. I want that thing to be commercial. Bigger than the flashy star. And flashier.”
    “Yeah, in fact, wouldn’t it be great, ‘TRUMP’ in HUUGE flashing letters orbiting the earth? Would that not be bigly MAGA?”
    “Um, sir.”
    “Get on it now. I want to see that thing up there by the time of my big military parade.”

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Any chance this story ends with trump going to that hip new nightclub Stavromula Beta? We could lure him there with promises of anti-grav titties.

    ETA: Granny can’t help but notice that Stavro’s surname is Mueller.

    • Lord Jim

      “Hey, Don. Could you toss this trash sack out of the airlock? Just let us get this door closed here…”

  • Zyxomma

    Lock. Him. Up. Lock. Them. Up. AOT, K.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I have several really good friends who’ve retired from Lockheed-Martin and Ball Aerospace. Actual rocket scientists live here. These are men and women who live their entire lives in anonymity and can never, ever talk about what they do.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      My sweetheart’s dad worked on every Apollo mission. Needless to say that NASA is a beloved thing here in my house.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      My beloved’s spawn is an actual rocket scientist who has had fiercely devoted feelings toward NASA since being taken for a ride on the Vomit Comet.

  • Roger Wilco

    Vogon poetry festival? Where, when? I want to go to there.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Surely there’s a less painful way to get rid of all those pesky brain cells you’ve got laying around.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Thrillseeker. Daredevil.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    I bet Trump’s pal, Vlad, would be happy to buy our half for pennies on the dollar.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      This was my immediate thought – that he already has a buyer, and it’s his bestie.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Donnie could turn the thing into an orbiting brothel, pitching zero-g sex to all his billionaire friends, and the venture would still tank.

    • Tony Prost

      trying to envision peeing hookers in space…..not sexy!

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Now try imagining it with the “Blue Danube Waltz” playing in the background.

      • Mintie

        Yeah, it wouldn’t work too well. Can’t get up a good Golden Shower.

  • NotALiar

    It’s the little stories like this that really help paint the picture of just how profoundly stupid and evil the trump administration really is. Fucking idiot shit monsters.

  • CptnEng2311

    Is this another sweetheart oligarch money laundering real-estate deal in the making?

  • azeyote

    Space the final frontier – so lets make as much money as we can – and i thought they were happy with the privatized exploitation of our earth –

  • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

    There goes Dok, making me wistful for another of my favorite authors.

    Don’t Panic, indeed.

  • Trip Space-Parasite

    Cowboy Bebop reference FTW!

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Thy micturitions are to me…………………………..

  • Mike Steele

    Likely a Cheeto/Steve Wynn production. They must have read somewhere that hair regrows, skin tightens, wieners levitate and all foreign indebtedness is forgiven in space.

  • Querolous

    Private industry might mean Acadami, Erik Prince’s company. Can anyone say “Battlestar Lunatica?”

  • this seems to be a recurring theme in Black Mirror.

  • rg9rts

    He ain’t called a FM for nothing

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