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This is Adam Schiff’s OH NO YOU DI’INT face probably.

Remember when THE MEMO was released last Friday and immediately the whole entire US and A and several small island nations started LMAO-ing so hard they caused a LOL-quake that was felt in China? That was fun!

On Monday, the House Intelligence Committee (HPSCI) held a hearing to vote on releasing the Democratic response memo, the one that takes a big red pen to the Republican memo and shows which parts are bullshit (all of it), according to not only the Democrats, but also the FBI and the Department of Justice. They voted that yes, it should be released, for transparency! And they released the transcript of their hearing today, for super transparency!

And now, the Democratic memo is sitting on the Resolute Desk, underneath all the other documents (Trump loves documents!) and Big Mac wrappers (Trump loves Big Macs!). Has Trump read it? Hahahahahaha, OK so the trouble, according to John Kelly, is that the Democratic memo is AS LONG AS TWO BIBLES (it is ten pages) and that’s too long for Trump to read. Anyway, Trump will get around to letting the Democratic memo out without redacting all the parts that make him look like a fucking idiot VERY SOON, you bet! (The deadline is today.)

We are not live-blogging you the whole transcript of Monday’s hearing, because girl it is Friday, so just no. But suffice it to say that oh man, the Democrats and Republicans on this committee hate each other, and oh man, we absolutely must take back the House in November, as in that is the bare minimum we must accomplish, because this is no way to run a country.

Here are five of the most MEOOOOOOWWWW HISS moments in the hearing transcript, accompanied by moving cat pictures:

In this section, GOP idiot Peter King says UH HUH the DODGY DOSSIER has been disproven, because Trump asshole lawyer Michael Cohen says he wasn’t in Prague meeting with Russian agents when the DODGY DOSSIER said he was. In response Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell is like “Cool story, bro. I fuckin’ DARE Y’ALL to subpoena his records, instead of just taking his word for it.”

UH HUH!

And here is GOP idiot Mike Turner of Ohio, who is not usually so mouthy, who is OBSESSED with how the Devin Nunes memo PROVED that Hillary Clinton and the DNC funded the work that led to the production of the DODGY DOSSIER. Of course, the Democrats and everybody else in the world are like, “Babydoll, everybody knows that. Stop saying it over and over again IN ALL CAPS WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS, because what you are saying is meaningless.” They make Republicans mighty stupid up there in Ohio.

Anyway, Turner gets why the DUMBO-CRAPS are mad and want to subpoena Michael Cohen’s shit, because they must be real DEM-BARRASSED about how Hillary Clinton and the DNC funded Chris Steele’s investigation, which we just now learned many months ago:

Perhaps Rep. Turner should go back to shutting the fuck up.

ADAM SCHIFF: Why are you fucking idiots talking about Michael Cohen anyway?

GOP IDIOT PETER KING: Dossier! Dodgy dossier!

SCHIFF: But your stupid memo was about how the FISA court somehow improperly approved multiple FISA warrants against Carter Page The Literal Actual Russian Intelligence Asset, because dossier information was included amongst MULTITUDES OF OTHER INTELLIGENCE in that FISA application.

KING: Dossier! Dodgy dossier!

SCHIFF: Jesus Christ.

KING: Reclaiming my time! reclaiming my time! Adam Schiff just made me look like A Idiot! That means I get my time back! Reclaiming my time!

 

MIKE TURNER: Can I interrupt Eric Swalwell a lot?

SWALWELL: Yeah, once I’m done talking about ALL THE FUCKING TRUMP-RUSSIA CONSPIRACIES we have solid evidence of, and about how the Republicans flat-out lied in their dumb memo.

TURNER: Can I interrupt Eric Swalwell a whole bunch more?

SWALWELL: Eat me.

TURNER: I can’t eat you unless you let me interrupt you, with my mouth.

SWALWELL: I’m still talking, asshole.

TURNER: Will you stop talking if I interrupt you again?

(This is a long one, but get ready, because Swalwell is very good here.)

 

We're guessing Perry looked a bit like this delivering his remarks.

And finally!

MIKE TURNER: Can I interrupt Joaquin Castro too?

JOAQUIN CASTRO: Pound sand, motherfucker!

Jesus Christ!

By the way, the question was whether Devin Nunes would FINALLY answer whether or not he wrote his dumb little memo with the White House, or if they wrote it for him, or told him what to say. At the very end, Nunes finally said, “there was no involvement in drafting the memo with the White House,” because we guess it took him a whole week to figure out how to answer that question with a technically true answer.

By the way, here is a picture of Mike Turner, who is your new favorite Republican idiot on the intel committee:

Want a bonus MEOW HISS moment? OK fine, here is your boyfriend Adam Schiff, being extraordinarily CATTY to Devin Nunes:

DAMN GIRL DAMN!

OK it is your open thread now, you earned it.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[HPSCI hearing transcript]

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  • Blackest Noobs
    • BadKitty904

      They certainly can’t do any worse than the Republicans.

      • Blackest Noobs

        especially in fucking Kansas, jesus what a shithole!

        • BadKitty904

          What’s left of it.

    • Charles Insandiego

      I heard about this on Preet Bhahara’s Podcast, which is worth a listen-to.

    • Lord Jim

      Ethan Randleas, a high school senior and libertarian candidate for the office, wrote on his website’s “About Me” section, “I am running to shake up Topeka, breaking up the stranglehold of statism that has began to cast its dark shadow over our great state.” He added, “I may be young, but that does not mean that I am incapable of serving the people of Kansas.”

      So, Ethan, would getting reporters fired for asking awkward questions and keeping state business under a cover of darkness count as statism to you?

      • TJ Barke

        stranglehold of statism that has began to cast its dark shadow over our great state

        lolwut?

        • Lord Jim

          Exactly.

      • CripesAmighty

        Somebody just finished their first reading of “Atlas Derp”.

  • armed_bears
    • BadKitty904

      “friends”?

      • clairence

        == people who tell him he’s awesome.

        • everstar

          Friends, sycophants, same thing.

        • BadKitty904

          I.e., people he pays.

    • Facebook User

      A different relationship, like “plaintiff vs defendant”.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Oh, that’s just guy lockeruproom talk.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      The problem with Archie Bunker was that he humanized this bullshit. In hindsight, probably a bad idea

  • BadKitty904

    Let me just say that Republican Cat (that’s how I have that first gif filed in the monumental BadKitty Cat Archives) is the only Republican I love.

  • clairence

    Why must you separate America from the United States?

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Great, now Dok is channeling Samuel Beckett⸮

  • Anna Rompage

    If Trump relies on Faux & Fiends reports for his intelligence briefings and bases our national policies off of them, then why the hell isn’t the dodgy dossier taken more seriously by the majority…

    But I digress

  • JaveyDay
    • puredog

      Looks like brolly bunny’s multiplied. Of course, that’s what they do.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh my! 3rd in charge, Deputy AG Rachael Brand, announces she’s leaving the DOJ___after only 9 months on the job.

    Hmmmm!

    • clairence

      uh oh. whoever takes the job will be the one to fire Mueller, right?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Everything is up in the air at the moment. Crazee’ time in a Crazee’ FUBAR administration.

      • CripesAmighty

        Once Rosenstein is out of the way.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I dunno. Quick check says she was part of W’s legal team during the recount, oversaw Alito’s appointment, and is absolutely dead into violating people’s civil rights for the sake of intelligence gathering. Oh, and she was a senior fellow at the Heritage Institute. “Clown Show” appears to be her milieu.

  • CripesAmighty

    Ruh-roh. Slo-Mo Saturday Night Massacre continues apace: Rachel Brand just bailed, leaving an opening for Dump to install a stooge who rises to the top of the toilet bowl when he flushes Sessions and Rosenstein.

    • Shawn Charniga

      A position that high up will likely be subject to Senate confirmation. 51-49. Someone will flip.

  • BadKitty904

    I love when Evan lets his Southern show and calls people “Babydoll”…

    • Crystalclear12

      “Honey” is also acceptable if said with insincere pity.

      • BadKitty904

        As someone who regularly addresses friends and strangers – much to my husband’s amusement – as “Sugar,” “Heart,” “Angel,” etc., I’m with Evan.

        • Ms. MLG on Maui

          Same. It tickles people here on Maui. In the South, it’s common practice.

          • BadKitty904

            You don’t even think about it. My husband was startled the first time my uncle – former Army Col. etc. – addressed him as “honey”…

        • SterWonk

          In high school in the suburbs of Houston, some of my platonic girl friends got “Ma’am”s from me, and I got “Dear”s from them.

          • BadKitty904

            lol I had to explain to my (now) husband – born in Miami, of Cuban descent – that “shug” is short for “sugar”…

  • The Wanderer

    OT:. Rachel Brand is leaving the DOJ. I’m thinking that this is because Trump wants to fire Sessions and Rosenstein so he can ditch Mueller, and Brand left in order to stimey him.

  • Lord Jim

    Swalwell and Schiff come from the Barack Obama school of verbal destruction – articulate, measured, but pointed.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m surprised the Repugs didn’t lodge an “Unfair Use of Braininess” protest.

  • calliecallie

    Stenographers are the best.
    https://youtu.be/AvBj0QNdjpU?t=69

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I love pointing out to the Missus that even though she has been insured by the same company for nearly 20 years, and even though my existence has only been known to them since we bought a car a year ago, Farm Bureau still lists my name first in all correspondence. It drives her into an absolute rage.

    • Joe Beese

      The pleasure in deliberately irritating one’s significant other is one of the joys of domesticity.

      I can always annoy Mrs. Beese with a deadpan delivery of something incredibly obvious or trite. For example, if she mourns the elimination of a particular contestant on Top Chef, I’ll say in a tone of serious analysis, “At this level of the competition, the slightest mistake can send you home.”

      Never fails.

      • Infrequentcontributor

        Is this what precedes make-up sex for the olds? ;-)

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      This happens all the time with us. And with the IRS sometimes. I file the taxes, I put my name on the top, and my husband gets the mail.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    KING: Reclaiming my time! reclaiming my time! Adam Schiff just made me look like A Idiot! That means I get my time back! Reclaiming my time!

    https://pmcdeadline2.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/maxine-waters-congressional-black-caucus.jpeg

  • Joe Beese

    Got my teeth cleaned today. They spent an hour working me over with some vibrating water jet apparatus that I assume is a cousin to what they clean the outside of buildings with.

    Gums feel like they were beaten with a ball peen hammer.

    • Crystalclear12

      So ice cream dinner?

      • Joe Beese

        My teeth are incredibly sensitive to cold. So that would be even worse.

        • Crystalclear12

          Damn.
          Been there, much sympathy!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Had mine cleaned last Monday. Flashback to the young lady who had me in a headlock, sharp instrument in her hand….~shudder~
      ….I kept expecting her to ask: “Is it safe?”

    • Lord Jim

      Better than when they used hooks and chisels. That was enough to put me off dentists when I was a kid.

    • harryr

      i like my dentists smaller and weaker than me, so that if it comes to a stand-up fight I have some chance of escape.

  • everstar

    The chairman is not going to entertain political theater on behalf of this committee.

    Thank the gods and not-gods Irony is already dead, for it’d surely have died upon hearing those words from Devin Nunes.

    • BadKitty904

      political theater

      You mean like repeated, tantrum-induced government shut-downs, Nevin?

    • CripesAmighty

      ‘Theater’ is for them coastal elites.
      This is the fucking Gong Show.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6D-SqQV_T04

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s no wonder the republicans of this country think our govt is broken… The reps they elect are some of the most inept fools on this planet that have proven time and time again that they could not legislate their way out of a paper bag…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just now on Nicolle Wallace show a couple of the guests suggested that Rachael Brand is leaving the DOJ because she saw the writing on the wall with more attacks on Rosenstein coming, his possible exit, knew that this thing was coming right at her and would end up in her lap, and decided to pull the escape hatch.

    Maybe a recess appointment? I hear Rob Porter is looking for job.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Da Mooch has a JD.

      • arglebargle

        Jerkoff Douchbag?

      • TundraGrifter

        In 1979, Bachmann was a member of the first class of the O. W. Coburn School of Law, then a part of Oral Roberts University (ORU).[11] In 1986 Bachmann received a J.D. degree from Oral Roberts University.[13] She was a member of the final graduating class of the law school at ORU, and was part of a group of faculty, staff, and students who moved the ORU law school library to what is now Regent University.[16]

    • CripesAmighty

      Michelle Bachman’s looking.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      It’s not too late to pardon Dylan Roof.

  • Crystalclear12

    I made it to the kittens!

  • janecita
    • BadKitty904

      I’d pay to watch that.

      • janecita

        Good money!

      • Lord Jim

        Great way to fund social services.

      • Crystalclear12

        Schiff v Nunes?

        • BadKitty904

          Imagine how much cash that’d raise…

      • WotsAllThisThen

        CSPAN RAW pay per view

    • Bill D. Burger

      Gawwd’ I so wanted to see that on the Senate floor last night while lil’ Rand was droning on…and on….and on…..

      • janecita

        Did you see how poor Bette Midler is been attacked today for making a joke about him?
        http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/02/09/bette-midlers-rand-paul-tweet-sparks-outrage.amp.html

        • BadKitty904

          I’m betting the Divine Miss M can defend herself…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            She’s BFFs with Mike Bloomberg. I think her back is got.

          • BadKitty904

            She’s been gutting hecklers since before most of these twinks were born.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            This is true. I remember walking to school as a youngling past fliers for her shows at the baths.

        • TundraGrifter

          “Mud will be flung tonight!”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The idiots at Faux Noise can take a flying leap.

    • TJ Barke

      That older Japanese man knows some moves…

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Most high schools have Judo teams.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I spent a summer in Japan and they made me take aikido. My first lesson involved learning how to fall backwards and get back up. My teacher was nearly sobbing with frustration after an hour of trying to instruct me.

      • TundraGrifter

        “And they holler at you while they kick your ass!”
        ~ The late, great Richard Pryor

    • Scooby

      Pelosi should do that to Trump in heels.

  • TJ Barke

    So whatever happened to Actor212?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Someone said he got a paying writing gig.

      • SterWonk

        Molotv to him! I bet his headlines are great!

    • SterWonk

      I’ve wondered that myself, on and off. (The machine-gun-shooting cat image is distinctive, as is its absence.)

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Doug Langley

    So I got The Letter today on the apartment door. Instructing to pay the rent OR ELSE eviction procedings begin in 3 business days. Plus gouging me for legal expenses etc. Will check in the office tomorrow and make sure we all know what’s going on.

    First paycheck on the 15th . . . it seems so far away.

    • Lord Jim

      I wish I could help instead of just wishing you good luck. :(

    • Parakeetist

      So sorry.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Do you have a local legal-aid office that you can consult?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Do you get a paper check or direct deposit? 3 business days is the 14th. I get paid on Friday and my direct deposit usually shows up by 11pm Thursday.
      That might not help since it’s so down to wire, but it’s something to consider.
      Do you pay your rent with a check, or online like my landlord has set up, or can you do a transfer?

      • Doug Langley

        I get direct deposit and pay rent with check. I’ll check my account online and write the check so the money is there when they cash it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Additionally: Rachael Brand’s assistant, a long time DOJ employee, has announced that she is also leaving the DOJ.
    Don’t forget it was Brand & Rosenstein that Lil’Jeffy Sessions, only a week past, praised as “…the kind of leaders we need and that we value highly and are so proud of at the Dept. of Justice.”

    https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/962081745477644288

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Get that committee a saucer of milk!

    • BadKitty904

      Me-OW!

  • Thiazin Red

    I’ve only got two more episodes of The Magicians before I’m all caught up. Now I have no idea what to do with my weekend, finishing the binge watch was my whole plan.

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • TJ Barke

      Weed does too. Weird.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        IK,R?

    • aureolaborealis

      Lemon Haze also rhymes with Friday, at least in my house.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Mochi is my new favorite.

        • aureolaborealis

          I just looked it up on Leafly. That looks awesome.
          My favorite for sleep, which is my main use, is MK Ultra. Mochi looks like it would be great for that, too. I’ll have to keep my eyes open. Lemon Haze is our go-to sexytime strain.

    • Covfefe

      Looks like Melllon.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Nah, too happy and life-like.

  • Lord Jim

    In other WH departures, White House communications director Michael Dubke has resigned. Some really cheery propsects in the wake of this news?

    “Dubke’s resignation could be the forerunner of a larger staff shake-up in the administration. Reports have circulated that Trump may bring in trusted former aides, including his original campaign manager Corey Lewandowski and former deputy campaign manager David Bossie, as the White House struggles to keep focused on its policy agenda while dealing with FBI and congressional investigations into possible Trump campaign ties to Russia.”

    • BadKitty904

      Sweet. An influx of the same lunatics and losers that fucked all this up in the first place. Good thinking!

      • Lord Jim

        Hear that roar? That’s the sound of the swap drainingfilling up.

        • TJ Barke

          Except what’s rushing in is a lot worse than brackish water…

          • Lord Jim

            Not to worry. EPA director Scott Pruitt has found it environmentally safe.

          • TJ Barke

            What a relief…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Rachael Brand (3rd in charge__only 9 months on the job) and her assistant (long time employee) at the DOJ both announced that they are leaving….

      ‘Fuck this administration. It’s every person for himself!’

      https://thumbs.gfycat.com/DifficultDefiniteCattle-size_restricted.gif

    • unclejeems

      Well, another day, another staff shake-up in the White House. Is anyone keeping count? This administration has shed more staff in a little more than a year in office than Carter has pills.

      • puredog

        JIMMY CARTER LIBUL — oh, wait.

        • unclejeems

          Yeah, I thought that might be a kind of obscure reference, but anyway . . .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m no Iceberg! I’m no Iceberg! You’re the Iceberg!

    • bluicebank

      Fat, drunk and doubling down on the stupid is no way to go through life.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Who says this administration doesn’t recycle garbage?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Sorry, man, but that was from May 2017 — or am I in a time warp?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I thought Hicks was communications director?

      • Lord Jim

        Story from last year. My error. In my defense, does she actually communicate with anyone? Outside the WH, I mean? 😁

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          No, of course not. She DIRECTS communication.

          “Go out there and make a complete asshole out of yourself.”

  • bluicebank

    OT, tho related to the besmirchment of knuckle draggers:

    Finally, after years of science reports that the Neanderthals were smarter than we heretofore gave them credit for, and (we Eurotrash) had one-night stands with them, science now tells us why Johnny Neanderthal can’t draw:

    “Neanderthals’ lack of drawing ability may relate to hunting techniques”
    “Spear-throwing gave Homo sapiens better eye-hand coordination, smarter brains”

    https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/02/180209100727.htm

    Summary: Necessity is the mother of invention. If all your life is spent shoving spears at doe-eyed animals, instead of facing off with predators that will tear your skinny ass to doll rags, then you ain’t going pass art class, either.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’d like to think the defense in this case is blowing this out of proportion, and cops aren’t in bed with neo-nazis, but I know way too many cops.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/feb/09/california-police-white-supremacists-counter-protest

  • cmd resistor

    Those moving cats really add to the discussion. Is there any way we can get some cats on that committee? Maybe they can replace some of the republicans?
    Also, too, Trump says he is going to release the Dem memo, according to CNN:
    At the end of President Trump’s unexpected pool spray, the President was asked if he plans to release the Democratic memo.
    “It’s gonna be released soon,” Trump said.
    The memo is the Democratic rebuttal to the controversial GOP-Nunes memo, which was released last week and alleges the FBI abused its surveillance tool.
    The House intelligence Committee voted to release the Democratic memo on Monday, but the President must decide whether to allow the document to be made public or object to its release.

    • puredog

      Like, maybe, two weeks or so, I’m guessing?

      • cmd resistor

        Well, if they are waiting for him to actually read it and color in the margins with his crayons……

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It will be released soon. Just like his tax returns.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Must be the Friday news dump. The White House is denying chief of staff John Kelly has offered to resign.

    “He has not offered to resign,” spokesman Hogan Gidley told CNN.

    The White House statement comes as Kelly and other top administration officials are facing questions about why they did not act to remove deputy chief of staff Rob Porter from his position after they found out about allegations that Porter struck his two-ex-wives while they were married.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b0dcc7bb3faab7989212b59ab5e792f0609f10a8b6044efda766fdc6cfa7c8f.jpg

    http://www.cnn.com/2018/02/09/politics/john-kelly-resign/index.html?adkey=bn

    • BadKitty904
      • Lord Jim

        Needz moar clownz.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Many people don’t know this, but I was the first one, of all the Presidents, maybe Jackson, I don’t know, to have three rings. Nobody ever had three rings before. So beautiful. Just tremendous, all the rings.

        • Daniel

          You want, believe me I will tell you this- I needed three! Needed! Hannity, you know, and Nunes, sometimes Graham also, actually, they all they said I need “one” to kiss”!” So I had, it’s you have to have three. I have tips on bleaching them from Jared.

      • Covfefe

        Elephants and clowns

    • therblig

      actually, kelly offered to re-sign his statement that “Even though Porter is a wife beater, he’s a hell of a worker”, but trumpy insisted, “signing is MY job!”.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    I have never been to The Prague either. In his defense King’s district is full of Dutchmen and Dutchwomen so he is being slightly less of an idiot on this one.

  • aktlib101

    CNN: “Trump frustrated with Hicks’ role in Porter scandal”
    https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/09/politics/rob-porter-donald-trump-reince-priebus/index.html

    “President Donald Trump has grown increasingly frustrated with Hope Hicks, his communications director and one of his closest confidantes, amid the fallout from the Rob Porter scandal, people familiar with the matter say.”

    “Trump was not consulted when Hicks and several other aides drafted a White House statement defending Porter, and he is under the impression that Hicks has let her romantic relationship with Porter cloud her judgment, a source familiar said.”

    Ummm….how about those 19 women who accused IQ45 of sexual harassment, or the Ivana rape, is Fuckface “frustrated” with how that scandal has been handled? Should that MOFO have been arrested and not been defended by an army of loony misogynist voters?

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Too bad for urine soaked snowflake Donald.

  • Marion in Savannah

    I got as far as the “fuck that” cat, and had to come down here and say “Yeah, kitteh, we is ALL saying FUCK THAT” now. One of my most fave kitteh things on the web. Okay. Now back to reading. (See, I CAN be responsible and read stuffs, when I’m not being distractificated by kittehs.)

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      The “fuck this” kitty is the meaning of life.

      • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

        “Fuck This” Kitty is all of us, all the time.

  • Xenu Ate My Baby!

    Another Friday, another announcement that the apocalypse is nigh.

    Jeezusfuckingchrist. I’m SO exhausted.

  • Thiazin Red

    Apparently, I’m a terrible selfish knitter. When I’m knitting on the train or during lunch or something and someone asks me who its for, I’ll be honest and say me. Then they always look a bit taken aback by that. Fuck that, I’ll make someone a scarf or head warmer, but if I’m investing the time in a sweater or blanket its for me.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Their reaction might be due to having a mother like mine, who obsessively knit incredibly ugly sweaters for all her children and grandchildren that we hated to wear, so they can’t imagine that someone would knit anything for themselves.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “She is not the one I am worried about in this room” HOLY SHIT I laughed so hard I scared the cats.

    Speaking of cats, I got some bad news today. I have posted several times in the past 2 weeks about my Older Cat (her name is Isabelle) who has been throwing up several times a day for the past 3 weeks. I tried very expensive organic cat food, this worked for a week, then it stopped working. I then took her to the vet who prescribed very expensive hairball medication. This worked for 4 days, then it stopped working. So yesterday I bit the bullet and spent $360 I don’t have for blood tests and an x-ray. The bad news is that Isabelle has bladder stones – several of them, and they are large.

    I never even heard of bladder stones before. They are causing painful urination, and she spends half her time licking her anus, after which she obsessively washes herself, which along with the bacteria and blood building up in her bladder is producing the vomiting. She isn’t eating or drinking much and has lost 1/4 pound in the past week. She isn’t going to die immediately, but she needs surgery.

    The problem is the surgery will cost an additional $700 that I do not have. I contacted at least 25 animal charities by phone or email today, but half of them only help dogs, and the other half say they only provide financial assistance in cases of immediate life-threatening illness, which they say Isabelle does not qualify for because technically she could live quite a while with this condition before she drops dead in agonizing pain, during which time I could try to raise the money myself. Technically, this is true. There is also a network of veterinarians who will provide low cost medical care if the human qualifies, but not one of the vets within 120 miles of my town participates in this network. I even called the local Vet School, but they charge as much as the private vet does and I have had bad experiences with them previously, so no help there.

    So if any of you have $5 or $10 to spare, I have set up a GoFundMe account to Save Isabelle. The surgery is scheduled for Feb. 23. Any little bit will help, so thank you in advance.
    https://www.gofundme.com/saveisabelle

    Jeeze, I hate asking people for money. I wouldn’t do it for myself for any reason whatsoever, I would rather curl up and die, but I will do it for Isabelle.

    • shastakoala

      I’m so sorry. Have you tried any rescue organizations?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes I have, and they have no money for anything other than urgent emergencies, and all they could offer was free euthanasia. Since I saved Isabelle from euthanasia 8 years ago, this is not an attractive option.

    • Lord Jim

      Small donation and prayers coming your way.

    • TJ Barke

      Can you qualify for carecredit?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I hate to say this, but the one thing I hate more than asking for money is using credit. It has taken me 12 years to recover from losing everything I own in a hurricane and incurring debts, and I really, really don’t want to go that route unless I absolutely have to.

        • TJ Barke

          You can get interest free for like 12 months.

    • janecita
    • Marion in Savannah

      I chipped in (wish it could have been more) and posted to my FaceBorg page, which I don’t think I’ve posted to in, like, forever. But there are a lot of cat lovers out there who have “friended” me, so fingers crossed.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s very kind of you, thanks, and every little bit helps. I don’t do FB myself, so I have limited opportunities to get out the word.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Keep us posted on how you and Isabelle are doing. (And, awww, she’s a tortie. We’ve got a tortie, and I’d move heaven and earth to help her.)

    • Fire and Fury Demme

      Where do you live?
      (Our humane society is run by cat people that would love to help.)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Missouri. I already spoke to my local Humane Society, they are the ones who gave me the list of 25 pet charities, and that was all they were prepared to do.

        • Fire and Fury Demme

          I am trying to see if our CA group can help out.
          Sometimes, they can make a small donation to help out, but I can’t remember if they can do things out of state.
          (There are lots of different kinds of Humane Societies.
          Ours is independent and unaffiliated with anyone else.)
          They want to contact you, but I don’t know how to do this.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Ours is independent too. I’m not sure about how they could contact me either, since I don’t Facebook or Tweet or any of those things.

        • Fire and Fury Demme

          Go to Paloaltohumane.org
          hit “About” and “Contact Us”
          Send an email with your info.
          I will tell them to expect your email.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            OK, I did that, thanks!

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I just made a small donation, Angela. Good luck to both you and Isabelle. She’s a beautiful kitty.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Thank you Tiffany! She is a sweetie pie, although it did take her 4 years to show any affection and stop sleeping in the closet. Now she sleeps by my feet at night.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      I just made a donation. Please keep us up to date on her progress.

  • JMP

    My cat runs off whenever Trump starts speaking on the TV, too; she cannot stand that voice.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Neither can I – I’m still mystified at how anyone sat through his garbage reality show (the one from the last decade, not the current one.)

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        His voice is awful. When you combine it with his face it’s the worst. There’s something about that little circle he makes with his fingers that makes me want to throw something.

        • eyelashviper

          That little finger circle makes me want to grab that puffy little wussy hand and bend the fingers back until they snap, then stuff them in his ugly maw.
          And that is the nicest I can be…

          • Marion in Savannah

            And much nicer than I’m inclined to be.

      • cmd resistor

        I am happy to say I never saw a minute of it.

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          Me neither. Why the fuck would anyone watch Drumpf if they didn’t have to?

      • handyhippie65

        they grew up to be trump voters?

    • Parakeetist

      My Mom, who is 76, screams “Motherfucker!” when Trump is on. I’m proud of her.

      • TJ Barke

        She sounds like a good influence.

        • Parakeetist

          She certainly is.

      • shastakoala

        My Mom was more of the, “You dirty bastard,” dynamic.

        • Parakeetist

          :)

          • Maria Sewell

            My 94 yr old little Greek mom hisses ‘malaka’ (tosser/wanker).

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My mother is long dead, but if she were alive she would throw her knitting needles at the TV and yell at my father to change the channel.

      • Fire and Fury Demme

        My mom changes the channel, and says “I HATE that man!”
        My husband wanders around muttering “what a piece of shit!”
        And none of that even compares to what I say.
        This has to end.

      • weighmaster

        My mom has turned into a rwnj over the last 10-15 years :(

        • eyelashviper

          Oh noes, can you use channel blocking on her teevee to block Fox?

          • weighmaster

            I wish, I just remain on the other side of the country.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            The best way to maintain a happy extended family is frequent phone calls, and at least 300 miles of separation.

        • Parakeetist

          Sry

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Get her tested. I mean it.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Sounds like my sainted mother.
        I just love Ladies who are FDR or JFK Democrats. The really don’t give a shit.
        After taking crap most of their lives they now tell the whole truth.

        • Parakeetist

          :)

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Were he still alive, my dad would have spent all of 2017 trying to get his foot out of the tv.

      • aureolaborealis

        My mom, who is 77, and who grew up in a loony fundamentalist home/cult, is the same. She also will aggressively engage door-to-door evangelists. Torrents of invective. Heaps of contumely. Mountains of obscene contempt.
        I inherited my potty mouth and low impulse control from her.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          May God bless you both. God created curses because He/She knew we would need them.

        • handyhippie65

          i like to debate with them. i had one newbie questioning her beliefs till her handler noticed and ushered her away to their car. that was a funtime good day.

          • aureolaborealis

            Yep. I like to engage, too. I once had a couple of elders approach me in my driveway while I was rinsing scuba gear after a dive. We spent 15 minutes or so talking about diving, then I bid them a friendly good day and went inside before they remembered why they were there. In that same community, I had a very, very, very flamboyantly gay friend who joined the church, apparently for the sole reason that he could then host dinners and events for the beefy, homesick young elders. If he was to be believed, he imparted much more knowledge unto them than they did unto him.

    • Thiazin Red

      Mine seems to like him. She is a strait up monster though. The first time we saw her watching TV it was the episode of Hannibal where the killer built a super suit out of sabertooth bones. Her other favorite thing to watch on tv is fire.

    • bluicebank

      Same with my cat, when I actually had the Vulgarian spewing. Cat was all, “jazus you people, lemmee outta here so I can kill a rat.”

    • Or she’s worried he’s going to grab her.. 🤔

    • Marion in Savannah

      I don’t give my cats time to be upset. I LUNGE for the controller and mash MUTE in, I think, about 0.08 nanoseconds. I thought I hated W’s voice, then we got Trump…

      • cmd resistor

        I hated Reagan, too.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Me too, but for some reason (no internet?) it was easier to avoid him.

          • cmd resistor

            Also too I didn’t own a TV for much of his reign.

        • handyhippie65

          my granny liked the bonzo movies, and we would watch them together on saturday afternoons. the first vote i ever cast was against him. i already knew the chimp was the smart one of the two.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN
      • SpideySenser

        Uploaded this just behind you…GREAT MINDS!

      • JMP

        Yes, that was the image in the article that I was referring to.

    • SpideySenser
  • Gorillionaire

    I fucking hate that idiot Steve King.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Please. Estevan Rey!

    • SKruetheratbassedarDs

      And Gohmert. And Farenthold. And Issa. And Rohrbacher. And Peter King. And Sensenbrenner. And Ryan. And NOOnez. And . . . And . . . And . . .

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Cut to the chase. Every motherfucker with an R behind their name.

    • eyelashviper

      So many idiots, my hate supply is running low.

    • TJ Barke

      “STOP TRYING TO REAUTHORIZE FISA! DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S CATCHING US!?”

    • jowgajen

      Powerful lady person who has served under three administrations decides it’s not fucking worth it and she should make some decent money before retirement?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Huh. Wasn’t she the one who was going to be tasked with firing Mueller if Rosenstein quit or was fired?

    • WilbyToad

      Trump is going to fire Rosenstein and Rachel wouldn’t play his patsy taking over. Basically a self preserving career move but indicative of something much more heinous afoot.

      • That’s where I’m leaning. Someone in the WH floated the idea to her and she said, “Fuck, no.”

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: There’s under the influence and then there’s drive an 18 wheeler-tanker truck, smash into a honda, get out of the cab and then get inpatient and get back behind the wheel, smash into the honda again – pushing it 200-300 feet, THEN crash into an ambulance and then smash it twice more under the influence.

    (seriously though, I’m glad no one was hurt of course):

    http://www.search.txcourts.gov/SearchMedia.aspx?MediaVersionID=402aaa8b-b629-4f76-88de-911abe99f9ac&MediaID=7179dff3-0e5f-46a4-b714-62cf9c6437ed&coa=COA02&DT=Opinion

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      P.s. The 18-wheeler ended up on the curb and the defendant’s name was Gober.
      “There goes Gober!”

    • Florida Man: Challenge Accepted!

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      I guess they really hated that honda.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        no love lost for the ambulance either.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Was it a honda ambulance? That guy is a real go getter and when he sets his mind to something he damn sure is going to finish it off. How long until he gets a job in the Trump administration?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh no – he hit TWO vehicles at least twice.

            Although, a Honda ambulance might trigger him.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Yeah, he had to make sure the honda and the ambulance where totally dead. None of this half assed crashing into a vehicle.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      How about “huffed canned air,” ran into a building, hit an embankment 71 feet away, hit the building again?

      http://www.idahocountyfreepress.com/news/2014/aug/27/kooskia-man-cited-aug-17-crash-building/

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        ooooh, we got a battle of the titans now.

        one the one hand, hitting two HUGE stationary edifices has legs – on the other hand, you got, “There’s a Honda Accord in my grill, oh well – oh look, AN AMBULANCE!”

        I’ll let the wonketeriat decide.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I also have a legal aid attorney who was drunk and hit a stationary cop car at 2:00 in the afternoon in a town of 100 people (on his way to court) and an escaped juvenile prisoner from Idaho who got drunk and hit two Ravalli County (MT) Sheriff’s cars while driving a stolen truck.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      He must have been vying for a spot at the White House. There are so many openings now, he should be a shoe-in.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Remember when THE MEMO was released
    last Friday and immediately the whole entire US and A and several small
    island nations started LMAO-ing so hard they caused a LOL-quake that
    was felt in China?”

    That’s just silly. Next, you’re going to tell us that the State of the Union was ALSO last week. Psssh.

    • TJ Barke

      That was at least 2,300 years ago.

      • Ryan Denniston

        We’re all fuckin Lazurai here.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Rachel Brand resigns.

    she was #3 at the Justice Dept.

    • yyyaz

      Rosenstein’s replacement when he gets axed.

      • eyelashviper

        By the time the Dotard gets around to firing Rosenstein, only the cleaning lady will be left, and she’ll prolly do a bang up job.

        • BillEGoatSmirk

          So Boente, who was 4th in line, is now General Counsel to the FBI. And with Brand leaving, you’re not too far off the mark.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Kelly is going to be gone next.

    abcnews.go.com/Politics/sources-chief-staff-john-kelly-expressed-president-trump/story?id=52970133

    President Donald Trump, furious over the handling of domestic abuse allegations involving one of his closest aides, has spoken to confidantes about the possibility of replacing embattled Chief of Staff John Kelly, sources close to the president tell ABC News.

    One confidante — longtime friend and former executive chairman of his inaugural committee, Tom Barrack — was approached to gauge his interest in the chief of staff position, a source familiar with the matter told ABC News. Barrack said he won’t take the job, the source said.

    Kelly has made clear to the president in the last 24 hours that he’s willing to resign in light of the president’s dissatisfaction over the West Wing’s handling of the allegations against former Staff Secretary Rob Porter, according to sources who have spoken with Trump and Kelly.

    If only Stephen Miller would go with him.

    • jowgajen

      While I would love to see Kelly gone, it’s not gonna happen. They have no one else to do the job.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        When has that ever mattered to this administration?

      • redarmyzombie

        You give Donald too much credit.

    • Fire and Fury Demme

      Kelly has proven to be SUCH a disappointment.
      Buh-bye asshole!
      (Remember when he was supposed to be “the adult in the room?”)

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I mean he kind of is the adult in the room. But its like picking the best piece of shit in a shitnado.

        • Sheepshagger

          When Charlie Manson was babysitting he was the adult in the room.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          The adult in the room is everyone’s racist uncle.

      • keinsignal

        I’m not disappointed one bit. From the get-go I was worried the guy might actually turn this into a functioning administration… The only thing saving us from Trump’s ambitions right now is Trump’s staggering incompetence and toddler-like attention span.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Miller is just dumb enough to take the job. Trump wants someone who does everything he says- until that person gets him in trouble.

    • Anna Rompage

      Well of course Donad is upset Porter is gone, how is Donad going to get his hands on Hope’s dirty underwear, now that Rob is gone…

      • redarmyzombie

        Oh, like that’s ever stopped him before!

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Less competition?

    • Ryan Denniston

      No more preznit Kelly?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        He is going to go spend time with some very fine people.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Maybe can has preznit Barrack?

    • Mavenmaven

      Miller will be the last Trumpist standing.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Who will leave first, Miller or Ivanka?

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Who can clap loudest?

        • Mavenmaven

          Ivanka. Miller will not be able to live in a world without Trump, as in the movie Downfall. Ivanka is a Trump, she’ll just wait for her share of the inheritance.

          • mappo

            1/5 of his Russian mob debt isn’t really worth waiting for.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    More “interesting” legal arguments:

    “[A]ppellant claimed that the statutory definition of intoxicated as having an alcohol concentration of 0.08 or more….violates equal protection because it unfairly discriminates against alcoholics.”


    “Appellant asserted that “the statute of .08 being the legal threshold for intoxication” discriminates against alcoholics because “many of those folks who suffer from the disease of alcoholism are able to maintain normal functioning at .08 versus a person who does not [suffer from the disease of alcoholism].””

    While he’s not wrong – the court said he’s not free of culpability either.

    http://www.search.txcourts.gov/SearchMedia.aspx?MediaVersionID=ed406edd-ec4c-4b89-8dde-e84b18de6cf3&MediaID=d9392b26-dab7-4cd4-9b33-327800604047&coa=%22%20+%20this.CurrentWebState.CurrentCourt%20+%20@%22&DT=Opinion

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Bless his heart.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        as fucking deadly as DWI can be, and as sad as alcoholism is, you gotta give his lawyer points for creativity.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          People don’t pay $300 an hour to hear “I’m sorry, but you’re fucking guilty; there’s nothing I can do.”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            fuckin’ hell, you bill that? IIRC, that’s what top shelf, private firm, insurance defense guy bill (not that you’re not top flight and not that’ you’re not worth every penny).

            Just sayin’: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7a3313ad66c3fd9472c7e831a8a2e4b23e6e3fc091d757679c7437017c34c469.gif

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Me? No. Private appellate defenders, yes.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah – i hear that appellate work is goooood money.

            I thought I liked appellate work, but I’ve enjoyed my time in the civil suit trenches. It’s a fun war. Like one with water balloons.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            When I was a baby lawyer, a guy called me about taking on his son’s appeal because I was one of the few lawyers who lived in the town where his son was incarcerated. The lawyer who referred him to me told me not to have anything to do with it. He also warned me that the guy was very persistent, and the only way he got rid of him was by quoting an obscenely high retainer. I thought of the biggest (believable) retainer I could. $25K. Three days later I got a cashier’s check for twenty-five large in the mail. I had to call the guy and explain to him that there was no way I could take the case.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, what’s that quote from People v. Larry Flynt? “I’m the perfect client – I’m rich and I’m always in trouble.”

    • redarmyzombie

      Don’t you know murder laws discriminate against murderers!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I’ll drink to that

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        and you guys think this stuff is dull.
        (kidding, 99% of is fucking dull – that’s why I seek out the unusual stuff.)

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah but do you have to be a driveaholic?

    • OutOfOrbit

      For a practiced alcoholic, .08 is totally sober

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I didn’t know that you could practice.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          I practice all the time.

          It’s like a muscle.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I actually have wondered more than once how they determine those thresholds, because if my 5’1″ 101-lb friend has one drink, she gets very tipsy, but if my 6’7″ 350-lb cousin has one drink, it has no effect on him whatsoever.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        we did a section on DWI stops in criminal law – long story short, IIRC, the breathalyzer has laser that refracts off alcohol in your breath.

        HOWEVER, and as the Court noted that’s not the only test (and for good reason, breathalzyers are fucking wonky as hell, etc). The eye test, the walk and turn and others demonstrate more than just BAC: they (are supposed to) show inebriation, aka loss of mental and physical faculties for important stuff, like driving.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I’ve only been drunk outside my house once in my life, and I had no trouble at all deciding that I shouldn’t drive, because I was seeing two of everything, including the car keys, but I’ve seen people stumble out of a bar or restaurant so drunk they missed the door and ran into the wall. I don’t know how drunk I would have to be to not notice that I was drunk.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      “You OK to land this thing?”

      “Look, man, if there’s one thing I know, it’s how to drive while I’m stoned. It’s like you know your perspective’s fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you’re straight.”

      https://youtu.be/LzjyPZ76OO4?t=2m41s

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      I was part of a traffic stop on a guy who was a lifelong alcoholic. Guy’s breathalyzer wouldn’t give us a result – took him to the hospital he was a 1.something BAC. He was a little tipsy (no, I’m not being snarky)… he was just a teeny bit tipsy. Dude had like a .5 BAC all the time. Crazy stuff…

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I had a client sit in my office for a half-hour and talk about his case who got arrested 10 minutes after leaving and blew .226/.228. I would have sworn he was stone sober.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          We’ve had similar. They’ve shown up drunk to the discipline hearing where they have to answer for being drunk at work.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Okay, that’s definitely a creative interpretation of the equal protection clause.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Yeah, I like to be a nice, comfortable sustained .08 to .1 most of the time.

      Of course, I don’t drive.

  • Anna Rompage

    In honor of the police in CA corroborating with actual fucking Nazis….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlxuezfW3M8

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And I’m all “I did not know Ronan Farrow could sing.”

  • Rick Hill

    I did some work, indirectly for Turner. Back when he was mayor of Daytonia. He was working for Modern Technologies, proly some made up position. Any rate, he had one of three offices I worked on, the other two being the owner and his son’s. I spoke with him for a minute or two. He seemed like a normal person but then, this was back in ’99, before the fire nation attacked and, apparently, all republicans lost their morals/shame/minds

  • Nyumbu
    • Angela Ruzzo

      What are two middle-class white people doing walking down an urban alley in the dead of night? My white middle-class neighbors won’t even go to a Cardinals game at Busch Stadium because they’re so afraid of being mugged in the parking garage in broad daylight because they read about that happening once 20 years ago.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      citation FUCKING needed.

    • redarmyzombie

      Can’t we deport him? To like, a volcano or something?

      • Nyumbu

        “To the moon, Alice!”

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      One man’s dream is another man’s nightmare, duh

    • therblig

      sucks living in fear. guess that’s why they cling to their penises guns so tightly

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Lyly Sirivong

      He doesn’t seem to know how to use hashtags.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Rachel, can we have Schiff and Swalwell on simultaneously this Friday? Thanks for considering.

    • Parakeetist

      Squee!

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Bipartisanship, you are doing it wrong

  • WilbyToad

    “That ax murderer out there, he’s a great painter.”
    https://twitter.com/ABC/status/962059642258964481

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Well, the movie business does spring to mind…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        with all due respect, pro sports is king on this score.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It’s a crime no matter what industry it’s taking place in. And it’s taking place in all of them.

    • yyyaz

      Werner von Braun et al come to mind.

  • Parakeetist
  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Besmirch all of us === i resemble that remark

    • altleftjohn

      Besmirch me once, shame on you. Besmirch me twice . . . Can’t get smirched again

  • wait! what?

    I see a SNL skit in the near future where Donald’s phone rings and it’s Sarah calling to resign. Donald says “Damn, now I’ve got nobody left.”

    Cut to:
    Donald in a long black wig doing a presser.

    Cut to:
    A bald headed Donald pretending to be John Kelly…

  • yyyaz

    Anyone wanna speculate on what it means that Rosenstein’s replacement, Rachel Brand, has apparently quit?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It means she’ll have to find a new job?

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I think we’re going for a deeper meaning here, sir.

    • OutOfOrbit

      She can read the tea-leafs on the wall?

    • redarmyzombie

      Right now, I only have this to say:

      https://media.giphy.com/media/Nn2wW3g0hwDEA/giphy.gif

    • Parakeetist

      Everybody quits all the time, in Trump Realm. It’s like a goddamn revolving door.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And her assistant quit, too.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      She doesn’t want to be the Trump version of Robert Bork?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      NYT:

      Ms. Brand, who became the associate attorney general in May 2017, will become the global governance director at Walmart, the company’s top legal position, according to people briefed on her move.

      It would appear it’s for the money.

      • yyyaz

        I hope you are right.

    • therblig
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      wait, Rosenstein’s out? (I’ve been busy this week).

      • yyyaz

        Not yet. It looks to me like she thinks he will be told to fire Mueller shortly, refuse, the axe would pass to Brand and she doesn’t want to be there when it does.

    • miss_grundy

      She has had enough of this shit show and is ready to go into private practice. She’ll join some premier law firm as a partner. Good for her.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Nope, word is she’s joining Walmart.

    • I’m stealing that! Thanks!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He hasn’t been voted off the Island…yet.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      we need another one for convicted and under investigation

      • redarmyzombie

        To start with, hopefully.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’m not much into award shows, but I’ll admit it’s a good way to discover new music.
    https://youtu.be/6P3Jxjp5krM

    Ring-a-ring o’ roses
    Pocketful of posies
    We all fall down
    Round and round in circle
    Waiting for a miracle
    Kiss the crowd

    • SDGeoff3

      I’ve been remembering that a lot lately. Trump’s a real dummy for bringing it up.

      • miss_grundy

        Considering that he is making an enemy of the FBI and the CIA.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          And the Army, Air Force, Navy, and Marines, for even suggesting the idea…

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Even the Coast Guard has refused to notify Trump if the coast is clear.

        • SDGeoff3

          And most of the civilized world.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          That worked so well for the Kennedys.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We were discussing just this very thing over on Balloon Juice the day the story broke.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      “If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks,” Mr. Trump said, as the crowd began to boo. He quickly added: “Although the Second Amendment people — maybe there is, I don’t know.”

  • Johnatx

    Wonketeers, especially those living in Texas. Elaina Fowler is running in the Democratic primary race for Texas House District 47 (Austin area). Elaina is awesome. She is progressive, experienced, and compassionate. I am doing volunteer work for her. If you live in the Austin area, please consider volunteering for her campaign. If you can, please consider throwing some Ameros at her campaign, also too.

    Her campaign website is:
    https://www.fowlerfortexas.com

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You just posted one!

      Old dogs CAN learn new tricks!

      • Johnatx

        Yeah, but I won’t remember it in the morning.

  • MOG253

    Those cats should kick sand all over this shit.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Too many turds.

  • Justin Zimmerman

    Open thread needs my favorite Iron Maiden cover:
    https://youtu.be/BP0JFPZT0x4

  • Scooby

    So, anyway, I think we are headed into a major recession.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Probably. It tends to happen when Republicans get a hold of the checkbook.

      • Scooby

        Exactly, it looks like a perfect storm is lining up due to thier incompetence.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I agree, but I don’t think the housing market will implode, and I’m hoping it takes a year to really hit.

      • Scooby

        I agree, I see the bond market causing this. Rising European yields plus US now has to issue almost double;e the amount of treasuries and add to that the dollar is headed in the crapper.

        • Lord Jim

          Well, a weak dollar should at least be good for exports. Keeping their currency weak has long been a part of Chinese economic strategy.

          • Scooby

            That’s true, the problem now is that it makes European bonds more attractive, meaning the US will not only be flooding the market with treasuries but it will have to raise rates to be able to sell these. It will all happen too quickly for the markets to absorb…hence the extreme volatility.
            China doesn’t have to worry about that as they don’t publicly sell debt.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Inflation has been virtually non-existent, so Trump/Ryan/McConnell just had to pour gasoline on an economy that was already on fire, so that we can have inflation, and so we can can pay higher interest rates on the huge debt they are running up.

          I’ll bet you a $100 They blame Obama.

    • JohnBull

      Damn Millennials not going to Applebee’s enough.

  • WilbyToad

    Elizabeth Warren criticizes Sessions on his one-year anniversary as AG

    “Jeff Sessions, President Trump, and this Republican Congress seem to think they can stoke the fires of hatred and division without being consumed by them,” Warren concluded. “And maybe they can, for a time. But people are resisting and persisting. States and cities are stepping up to defend civil rights under assault by the federal government. The American people are showing up – in the streets, in the airports, in the courtrooms, and even at the polls to hold this government accountable. And they will continue to show up – and to fight, day in and day out, to fight for fairness, for equality, for liberty and justice for all.

    by Andrew Emett / NationofChange
    https://www.nationofchange.org/2018/02/09/elizabeth-warren-criticizes-sessions-one-year-anniversary-ag/

    We have many strong, viable women potential candidates for the Presidency in 2020.

    I want to see all of them rock it.

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      We’ll elect the older women first, then every election, a younger woman. That way the US can have smart, capable women running the country for at least 40 or 50 years. Who should go first?

      • WilbyToad

        Warren / Duckworth. I know there are Gillibrand and Harris fans out there, but I really like this combo.

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          They’ll all get a turn … Warren, Tammy, Kirsten, Kamala. And there are so many others who are now ramping their campaigns.

        • BillEGoatSmirk

          Biden/Harris 2020. Let Handsome Joe get flyover country back to our side. With the truth. …And he knows EVERYBODY, so he’ll re-stock the government with qualified people, and get our allies back on board, and tell Russia to go fuck themselves. Then he can quietly semi-retire after about 2 years of teaching Ms. Harris and the younger crowd, and let them take over from there. ..I’m sorry, but we’re going to need somebody who can fix this mess quickly.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        Liz is my Senator, and I’d love to see her run. She’s brilliant and savvy and street-smart and totally gives a fuck about the little guy and doesn’t take any shit. But I gotta tell ya, she’s enormously polarizing even here in liberal MA. (Any article in the Boston Globe that even mentions her name generates trolls and RWNJs galore. Just like Hillary or our kick-ass AG, Maura Healey, who’s ghey.) So I worry about her running for POTUS. The deplorables will be easily swayed with lies and anti-vagina commentary…. Being that she espouses many views of Bernie, I wonder how the Bernie Bros/purity ponies would see her candidacy…

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    They make Republicans stupid in Utah, too. Some married with 3 kids family values asswipe voted last year to make the fine for hiring a prostitute $2500, and raised the crime to a class A misdemeanor. I think you all can guess where I’m headed with this one. The fuckwad got busted for soliciting a prostitute. Naturally, the room was paid for by taxpayers. TWIST – he hired a human woman, and not a rent boy, although he did engage in some anal, so probably was fantasizing about being with a boy.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      An Idaho Republican who was being investigated for sex criming killed himself last month.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        This one resigned to spend more time with his hooker family.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          And his priesthood?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I just can’t get behind anal.

      • Lord Jim

        👁.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Show yourself out, madam.

      • mailman27

        That’s the thing, you have to get out in front of it.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Oh my gawd you guys, Pizzagate is real and I just figured it out! it’s a Democrat..wait..

    https://twitter.com/TheBaxterBean/status/962027218674348032

    • redarmyzombie

      That is far too lenient for the fucker.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Maybe made a deal to get to a bigger fish?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          if there’s a bigger fish in his orbit, that would be fucking terrifying. Like horror movie stuff.

      • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

        This is the only time I ever doubt my stance against the death penalty. I know it’s wrong, just like I know it’s wrong to want to see every child molester beaten slowly and painfully to death, not even with votes. I detest state-sanctioned (or ignored) violence and murder and also vigilante “justice” for the same reason. Because, to me, they come from the same place of vengeance, which isn’t helpful. It doesn’t take anyone’s pain away or bring anyone back to life or prevent future crimes. I would vote all the votes against it but I still want to see it sometimes.

        I guess this is a cognitive dissonance I have to live with.

        • redarmyzombie

          Same. I’m opposed to the death penalty for many, maaany reasons, but some people…well, I’d shed no tears if they were lined up against a wall.

        • Lord Jim

          It’s not just you. Being against the death penalty is not the same thing as being for anybody who would receive it.

          • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

            I guess it’s the same as the “pro-life” and “pro-choice” positions. People who claim they are “pro-life” because they are against abortion but wouldn’t advocate for laws making abortion illegal or more difficult to obtain are pro-choice, IMO. By the same token, just because I’d really like to see certain types of criminals punished in certain types of ways doesn’t mean I think those punishments should be made law.

            It’s not exactly a clear-cut comparison, I know.

        • yyyaz

          I’m on the same fence. I actually did an anti-death-penalty presentation to a class back in college. Since then, my exposure through the teevee of interviews of serial murderers, serial rapists and serial molesters, the victims and their families, has led me to believe that there are people who have forfeited all of their rights, including the one to inhale oxygen. Twenty years is far too lenient for the charges in this case.

          • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

            Maybe so. But if we say that murderers aren’t allowed to decide who lives and dies in our society then how are we as a society better than they are when we do the same? This is part of my problem.

          • yyyaz

            The “state” in all its many forms always has generally had the power of life and death over its citizens/non-citizens/subjects. If that power is anchored by the rule of law it has the flexibility to change and conform to evolving values. I know this is an incomplete analysis for a dozen different reasons, the most salient of which — for me anyway — is our abject failure as a country to rationally discuss crime and our abysmal penal system. With the level of lunacy one major party has descended into, the day that we can engage in that discussion dispassionately is not on the horizon and we will remain, with Singapore, Japan and Taiwan as one of the last industrialized countries with a death penalty.

        • aureolaborealis

          Dan Carlin’s latest Hardcore History podcast is about the history of public execution. It’s a very good 4-hour listen, though I think it undermined my mental health for a few days. Might help with the cognitive dissonance. Or not.

        • BillEGoatSmirk

          Sometimes, there is a ‘poster child’ for the death penalty. I don’t believe in it, but when there are child molesters involved, this guy is the poster.

      • aureolaborealis

        Agreed. He is 71, however, and looks unhealthy, so it’s pretty much a life sentence.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Fake news. Did he even run a pizza shop?

    • Impatient

      What about states’ rights? Are we just gonna willy-nilly impose our fuhrin standards on Kentucky? Respect their culture!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      TWENTY YEARS!?!?!?!

      Fuck me.

      No wonder they name a personal lubricant after KY.

    • mailman27

      In the Mid-Atlantic area we haven’t heard a word about this shit. How bout that? Campaign chair, FFS.

  • weejee

    Kelly has offered to resign and #3 at Justice, Rachel Brand – just behind Rod Rosenstein, did resign. Such a busy day.

    / checks torch supply

  • SDGeoff3

    Oh jesus mary joseph and the fukking tap dancing saints incorporated!!!1! What is it going to take?

    • OutOfOrbit

      A banhammer incident?

  • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

    TPM is covering the departure of Rachel Brand.

    Apparently her replacement would be one Noel Fransisco – a Bush appointee. He’s “very conservative, but likely not a Trump yesman.”

    A “very conservative” Bush appointee would only be a voice of reason when dealing with dangerous reactionaries. Which we are.

    https://talkingpointsmemo.com/prime-beta/this-is-a-very-worrisome-development

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      It was probably a smart move on her part to get out before the Trump stink gets permanently attached.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Remember, Richard Painter was Bush’s ethics guy (who will be on Maher tonight with our boyfriend Adam Schiff) who teamed up with Norm Eisen (Obama’s ethics guy) on CREW to go after Trump and the Emoluments violations literally the day after the “inauguration”. There are actually honest, ethical, patriotic Republicans still in our midst. Let’s hope Noel Francisco is one of them.

      But Robert Mueller comes to mind….

      • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

        Point taken. However: in my lifetime, “very conservative” has become shorthand for “doctrinaire and nuts.”

  • Rick Hill
  • Lyly Sirivong
    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’ve always thought Vixen and the Kits would be a fun band name.

  • TorbyIsHere

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/85753ac012629895c374d54729360750b582862fe42f698bc6477d74dd5f28e5.gif

    And here is my cat video demonstrating how I feel about this whole damn administration, and the whole fucking Republican party and everyone who voted for dumbshit Trump.

    • TootsStansbury

      That sums it up right there.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? Perfect.

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      “I’m just going to start swinging my arms, and if you get hit it’s your own fault.”

      • TorbyIsHere

        I felt like it’s more like, I’m really trying to hit you but I can’t reach. Total impotent rage.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN
      • TorbyIsHere

        Oh my god, we’re all going to die.

      • Christopher Story

        I like to imagine this is what Mueller’s interview with Trump is going to look like. (Trump is the one flailing wildly)

  • James

    And in more Meow Hiss moments, just hitting Twitter:

    WOW, many explosive allegations in this article:-Russians have damaging information on @realDonaldTrump that they want to sell-CIA is afraid of getting info that could be damaging to Trump-CIA Director is politicizing the agency to protect Trump rather than get the facts https://t.co/DsptVWcuv5— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) February 9, 2018

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      What the actual Fuck.

      • James

        Mike Pompeo is a conservative. Conservatism is about gaining and maintaining power, not service to the nation or advancement or patriotism.

        Anything that threatens conservative power must be debunked, attacked, or eliminated.

        You can assess the idea by trying to think of any nation, any time in history, in which conservatism advanced the ideals of the nation. Name five. You can’t.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          I get they just care about power but trying to buy and hide Trump info from another country is just talking it farther publicly then they have before.

          • James

            Nothing is shameless in advancing the cause of conservatism. Nothing. They’re running a freakin’ Nazi for the US House.

          • tomamitai

            Now now, be fair, they’re merely not bothering very much to stop the nazi from running for a seat they expect to lose, not actively trying to get him elected.

          • h4rr4r

            This is not about Trump’s election.

          • James

            They’re not actively trying to stop him either (for example, throwing him out of their party).

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Heard a piece on NPR yesterday. The IL GOP got him tossed off the ballot last time due to fraudulent signatures. This time, the signatures were all legit (which is scary). But the GOP folks they interviewed all said vote for the Dem and get this asshole away from us. …so there’s that…

          • Lefty Wright

            They have Nazis in the White House. If you think Stephen Miller doesn’t admire Hitler, you aren’t paying attention. Add in some who left, like Sebastian Gorka, and it’s like a rally site.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          He’s also a dominionist, and they are utter fucking scum totally at odds with one of the principle reasons this country was founded.

      • James

        Conservatives: If Russia offered this information to us and we turn it down, they won’t offer it to someone else.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      1) Fuck this shit.

      2) With armor-piercing votes.

      3) How much?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      The Intercept.

      I’m not sure what to do with this.

      • James

        Moreover, if these are electronic copies of US information, it’s not like we already have that information. And Glenn has a somewhat tenuous connexion with “truth.”

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Yeah, I’m not buying it till a reputable outlet confirms it.

    • h4rr4r

      Let’s start a GoFundMe to buy the information.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Pompeo is really showing Sessions how a real traitor gets things done.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    There is always the kitten academy live steam.It has a full screen of the babies now with the one sleeping on their back.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9VO7X_q9nw

  • Most Stable Land Shark
    • alpacapunchbowl

      Makes me laugh every time!

  • Stable Uniomist Raan

    Hello, open threaders. Here’s a list of world wonders I’ve built in Civ V.

    The Globe Theater
    The Hagia Sophia
    Stonehenge
    Himeji Castle
    Machu Picchu
    Notre Dame
    The Sistine Chapel
    Uffizi
    Alhambra
    Chichen Itza
    Angkor Wat
    The Taj Mahal (no, not the shitty Trump casino)
    The Brandenburg Gate
    The East India Company
    Big Ben
    The Tower of Pisa
    Oxford University
    The Red Fort

    • eyelashviper

      Tikal
      Teotihuacan
      Uxmal
      (I’m partial to Meso-American edifices)

      • Stable Uniomist Raan

        I’m glad none of those places are in this run. Montezuma is an asshole who could very well end your game before it really begins.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Oh, dear. I guess it’s that time again.

    https://twitter.com/CorkGaines/status/955873584626487296

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      Suits by Jackson Pollock or a paintball team.

      • Marion in Savannah

        BOT,K.

        • Stable Uniomist Raan

          Paintball team directed by Jackson Pollock it is, then.

    • WilbyToad

      Inimitable.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I love it, but I have had hangovers that looked like that.

    • Parakeetist

      OH GOD MY EYES STOP HURTING ME

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Shuffleboard is not a sport just because you play it on ice, Canada.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        To be fair, it’s shuffleboard combined with energetic sweeping.

    • eyelashviper

      Well, it IS curling. What else could you expect?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I wonder how drunk they get before their medal event?

    • TootsStansbury

      I love the corniness of the olympics.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      MY EYES!

    • miss_grundy

      Looks like something Don Cherry would wear on Hockey Night.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        HNIC Libelz.

        The Canuck HNIC, not the USAF HNIC.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      They’re wearing more red white and blue splats than a Sean Hannity wet dream.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Well of course. And why would any of them immigrate to America?

      Now, I must say the Tongan flag bearer had quite a spiffy outfit.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Guy #3 looks just like Carson Kressley from Queer Eye, only not so blond!

    • aureolaborealis

      I don’t really understand how curling occurs in the absence of obscene, stomach-evacuating amounts of beer. Perhaps these uniforms are a bittersweet reminder of the sport’s true roots?

  • Rick Hill

    “Starman”? Yeah, right. The truth will always come out.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aV3eOBM_460s.jpg

  • TootsStansbury

    So today’s takeaway is women aren’t really human and no one gives a good goddamn that we have been compromised by a hostile foreign government. I’m not in the best of moods.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    It’s weird how every single person that works for Trump is ultimately revealed as someone disgusting enough to work for Trump..

    • Marion in Savannah

      IK,R? Who’da thunk it?

      • hudson

        you seen trump? any body who has seent trump would’ve thunk otherwise.

    • WilbyToad

      Instant upvote gonna getcha.

      • Marva

        Gℴℴgle is giving me 97 US dollars/hr to complete easy jobs staying at home .. Work Some just few hours daily & spend more time together with your relatives … Any person can get this super career!!!this Sunday I purchased a gorgeous Chrysler after I been earnin $7934 past five weeks .no doubt it is my favourite-work however you wo’nt forgive yourself if you don’t go to this.!ox852r:➞➞➞ http://GoogleVirtualEarnMoneyOnline/earn/97$/eachhour ♥♥y♥♥♥i♥v♥♥♥s♥♥♥e♥♥♥h♥j♥♥♥u♥♥♥y♥♥♥k♥♥♥t♥♥♥i♥♥n♥♥♥d♥♥y♥i♥♥z♥♥q♥f♥♥p♥u♥♥♥u♥p♥u♥♥♥q:::::!ve393c:lhuhuh

      • Linda

        Google pays me 99 US dollars per hour to complete some internet services on the internet .. Labor Some few hours & live happy greater time with your circle of relatives … Any person can also apply this best career!!!this Thursday I bought a gorgeous Car just after earnin $7919 this last five weeks .it’s certainly the extraordinary approach but you can now not forgive yourself if you don’t look this.!qh492j:=> http://GoogleSolutionHomeBasedJob/make/$98/perhour ♥x♥♥♥r♥d♥♥♥d♥♥♥q♥♥♥h♥♥q♥s♥f♥♥a♥i♥♥t♥d♥♥z♥♥♥b♥♥♥z♥♥♥c♥♥♥i♥♥q♥c♥♥♥q♥d♥a♥♥n♥♥♥k:::::!wg763j:wkyu

      • Ruth

        Gℴℴgle paying now $97 per/hr to do easy tasks on the internet .. Labor Some few time and stay more time with your relatives … Any one can apply this online offer!!!last Thursday I bought a latest McLaren F3 just after earnin $7934 past five weeks .it’s actually my favourite-job but you may not forgive yourself if you don’t test this.!bx881h:∫∫∫∫ http://GoogleHubMomsWorkFromHome/make/99$/per-hr ♥♥♥e♥s♥♥♥f♥♥t♥f♥♥♥b♥♥♥r♥♥♥l♥♥♥m♥♥♥w♥♥♥q♥g♥a♥c♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥w♥j♥♥e♥♥♥w♥o♥y♥♥♥c♥♥♥y♥l::::::::!je551l:zsfe

    • Blackest Noobs

      on the nose.

    • eyelashviper

      He’s an Asshole Magnet.

    • hudson

      right on the ball. perceptive.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      I gotta post this at DeadBreitbart……..

      • redarmyzombie

        Wipe your feet before coming back!

        • IdiotsforPalin

          I delosed ….

          • IdiotsforPalin

            Ohhh the DeadBreitbarts go straight to the Clinton defense…..

          • handyhippie65

            a consensual instance between a willing, if naive, intern is not the same.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          And wash your eyes

        • SpideySenser

          Silkwood shower…or else!

  • hudson

    OT:
    #1a. a good boss is one who takes risks to give you a chance.
    #1b. once earned, average junta strives to live up to that trust.
    #2. there are good bosses. leaders amongst men. even at that level not everyones is a jerk .

    you know what i mean?

  • Parakeetist

    This asshole Porter: can anyone lawsplain to me whether the statute of limitations on battery is up, based on when he did this shit? We’ve got pictures. What he did was assault and battery. Possibly other things, I don’t know. Can he still be charged?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Law? We don’t need no fucking law. He’s a priesthood holder. His bishop has counseled his ass.

      Law. Pfft.

      (Also, the pictures were taken — and the punch occurred — beyond the jurisdiction of Utah courts. Also, too, the SOL for misdemeanors other than negligent homicide in Utah is generally two years.)

      • Parakeetist

        Also, FUCK

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      SOL on domestic assault & battery will typically be guided by state law. But in most jurisdictions, you’re probably looking at somewhere between 3 and 5 years. And it would have been in the prosecutor’s discretion as to whether to go forward with charges if they didn’t have a cooperating victim/witness.

      • Parakeetist

        Thanks.

  • CripesAmighty

    Castro to Turner: “I don’t want to hear from you. You’ve interrupted everybody.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/feb84273ad572f5db460e1188dcbb6473cb0b4ac185843a14e7792d7d9356040.gif

  • MANGO CRIMES
    • Ryan Denniston

      Needs moar loltungz.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      “In an interview with The New York Times, Richards said that after leaving her role she will be promoting her memoir, Make Trouble, in the spring and will focus on helping the Democratic party as we inch closer to the midterm elections.”

      You go girl!

  • Most Stable Land Shark
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      I was talking to Resistor Radio about that and how no one wants them. Its really sad and the next cat I get is going to be a black kitty.They are normally really sweet once they get used to the new place.

      • Most Stable Land Shark

        I’ve had three black boy kittehs (one currently). Super gentle, super affectionate. One of them let my niece give him a bath with the hose.

        • Most Stable Land Shark
          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Aww what a cute kitty.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          I used to have a black cat just like that, he didnt care what babies did to him and would come and lay down with me all the time. He was an awesome cat.

          • Most Stable Land Shark

            That same black kitteh thought it was fun to chase and catch squirrels … on the dead run and up the tree. Fast as lightning.

            When he caught to the squirrel, he’d just walk away or climb back down. Probably caused many a squirrel cardiac arrest.

    • Parakeetist

      I so want to adopt a black kittems. :)

    • redarmyzombie

      My family has had 3 black kitties thus far, and they take the best selfies!

    • redarmyzombie

      Seriously though, I love black cats, and I cannot for the life of me understand why other people don’t.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Superstition and I guess now that black and white cats dont take good pictures. But who gets a cat to take pictures with them everywhere? Cats are just awesome animals to have around.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Co-sign on WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??
      My little black kitty was photogenic as fuck and a little snugglebug. (RIP Misha)
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ea77d7b79c57da54c8c19dcb25bc82dd7efb9f4a724a8de9e0c1dcd7007e2691.jpg

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Your soul…it is MINE!”

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Either that or the cold boiled shrimp I was holding.

    • therblig
    • miss_grundy

      What? Some of the most gorgeous photos of cats I have ever seen have been of black cats.

    • tomamitai

      Cameras are known to have a bias against Blacks.

  • La forza del resistino

    Hercules’ completed his 10 labors in less time than it takes Donald to read 10 pages.

  • Greg Comlish

    Whew. Today has been tough. I’ve been close to losing it.

    The one constructive thing that I did today , and that I recommend you do, is destroy News Feed on Facebook. I destroyed it. How did I do it? Simple: I unfollowed everybody.

    News feed has been toxic for a while. It’s been a weird, almost paranormal experience where random people from long ago repost memes about how much they love coffee or show pictures of their kids or congratulate their siblings or look good at the beach, or link to clips of late night TV or promote a line of make-up from
    home.

    From any distance, the whole forum functions as a weird collective delusion where people say less about what they believe and more about what they pretend to believe. The big variable here is not whether people are playing a game, but which game(s) they are playing. And other people pretend that those games are sincere.

    I’d been tinkering with News Feed for a while in a futile attempt to salvage it. I started out as decidedly tolerant of everyone, but in the Trump era that attitude became untenable. The last thing I need shoved in my face on a regular basis is an actual cop (a friend of a friend) repeatedly defending the police after every killing of innocent, unarmed black civilian that makes the news. Once I started unfollowing people, the process rapidly accelerated. Selling a product from home? Banned. Posting maudlin tripe about motherhood? Banned. Humble bragging from a freaking yacht? Fuck you, asshole. Double-banned. No looking back.

    Once I whittled it down to only people that are actually part of my ongoing life in a meaningful way, there were literally only four people left in my news feed. Collectively, they had 12 posts. That’s it. 7 of the remaining 12 posts were basically anti-Trump news posts by a good friend. The remainder consisted of two updated profile pics, a memoir of a departed relative, a non-sequitor clip of the muppets ‘mana mana’, and a funky photo of a bird posted to my girlfriend’s brother’s wall by his polyamorous
    wife.

    And then nothing. The formerly endless cascade of irrelevant bullshit and creepy targeted advertising abruptly ceased with a generic message from Facebook telling me to add more friends. I saw the brink. It was glorious. I decided it I needed to finish the job. Everything Must Go. Unfollow Everything.

    And not only was I reclaming my time, but I had the added benefit of totally fucking with Mark Z’s business model. If I’m not using news feed then Mark Z can’t monetize my likes, he can’t monetize my comments, he can’t monetize the amount of time I spend “interfacing” with content. Which is perfect, because nobody in tech creeps me out more than Mark Z.

    After wrecking News Feed, I can still get invites to events and check out what people are up to on my own time, but I’m not going to be held hostage to that godawful feed which BTW always did a shitty job giving me the information that I want.

    Not to seem like I’m some of stodgy old bastard, but I remember a time when FB was more organic. Not to say it was great, but at least it wasn’t such a deadening sewer.
    Personally, I think they big shift came when it became clear that FB’s monetization strategy was to function as a corporate and governmental surveillance program. Nobody likes a narc, and nobody likes Mark. Facebook was only great when it provided a sense of freedom and trust. It became clear, certainly since Snowden, that the whole site was not only a microscope for government intelligence but also a sieve where personal information is routinely collated into detailed profiles and sold to highest bidder. Ever since then saying something sincere became a very real and unquantifiable liability.

    Sure, people complain about people posting “personal issues” on facebook and people complain about “politics” but when you remove all that what are you left with? Just a bunch of harmless jokes phony self-promoting bullshit. And trolls.

    Anyway, if you hate FB like I do but cannot, for practical reasons, get rid of it entirely, destroying News Feed is a good decision and possibly the healthiest single act you can do in 2018.

    I hope you all have a good weekend.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I just ignore Facebook for the most part. Oh, occasional photos posted by friends and relatives are nice, but I find twitter a lot better for snarking and sniping.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      The closest thing to a FB account I have is a thing that my young cousin created several years ago for me and my best friend so that we could keep track of her two teen-aged kids. Of course, within a year, the teenagers skipped over to Twitter.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    This lowers my opinion of the GOP HPSCI members from around the Marianas Trench down to the molten iron core of the planet.

    • redarmyzombie

      Well, it’s early yet…

  • Stable Uniomist Raan

    Oh, in other Civilization news, Iroquois culture is almost more popular with Venice than their own culture is.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Iroquois have better cigars. So there’s that.

      • Stable Uniomist Raan

        I would ask if cigar tourism is a thing, but then I remembered, duh, Cuban cigars.

    • jowgajen

      Last night I took an emergency mission to liberate Hong Kong from the Cree and won 14k gold because no one else accepted. Of course that took me from all green smiley face relations to one guy sort of doesn’t hate me and the rest really kind of do.

      Oh, and I failed to go to bed until 3:30. Oops.

    • Thiazin Red

      In my last Crusader Kings game one of my Queens and her sister conquered a bunch of England and the people loved them so much they decided to become Welsh.

  • La forza del resistino

    Jen Lawrence has a new movie role where she is a Russian spy seducing men for info. Over here Jen, I have secrets and know things too.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Get in line

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      She gives me the quivers.

    • WiscoJoe

      We saw a trailer for this and my dad leaned over and whispered, “Is this a Melania Trump biopic?”

      • miss_grundy

        I think Melania is a real-life Red Sparrow and was sent to the U.S. to get Dotard’s attention except that he had started his business trips to Russia before he met her.

  • Rick Hill
    • Smoke O’Hontas

      I’m more of a Satanic Temple fan. But credit where credit is due.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i need the brain trust again – my APA manual has INSANE standards for what constitutes plagiarism – about 80% of what we write in law would qualify.

    Any handy rules of thumb?

    As far as I can tell, if you use any non-prepositional words from the source and anything resembling the structure of the original, even with a cite – it’s plagiarism.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I do not understand the question. Are you writing something for school, or something for court?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh sorry – this is the manual for my intro to lit class…so different rules of citation then the ones I’ve absorbed and used over the last year, year and a half.

        (On that topic, I finally abandoned my blue book at work – that fucking thing is useless. My ALWD book is much better. But then I found out we have to use BB for the paralegal cert exam. so now I have THREE ideologies of citation to remember).

        • BillEGoatSmirk

          Blue Book is a pain in the ass. But when you’re writing for legal stuff, if it even looks or smells like you’re quoting something, put the damn thing in quotes and cite it.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I use my bluebook all the time. My redbook, too.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ever try ALWD? The rules are mostly the same, but shit is easier to find (although, experienced lawyers don’t need to go searching nearly as often as I do).

            HOWEVER, if you ever get a weird one and can’t find the rule in BB, try the ALWD – it’s got rules for situations BB doesn’t cover.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            We had to buy ALWD in law school. However, I clerked for a 75 year-old judge who insisted on using the bluebook any time there was a question, so I kind of got used to it. Fortunately, he went along with me when I told him “Shepardizing” wasn’t really a thing any more.

            ETA: I mean, with the actual books, of course.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, I’m obsessed with shepardizing – or rather the digital equivalant, which is what I think you meant.

            But yeah, I can see how the thing you get introduced to is the thing you stick with.

            I just find BB….impenetrable. And my office and local courts, like many, don’t get worked up over it. As long as you can find the thing – which is the whole goddamn point of legal citation in the first place – you’re fine with the spacing between stuff, placement of periods, abbreviations, etc.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Outside of federal court, that’s typically true. Once you know the local rules, it’s pretty simple. In Idaho, for example, the courts prefer the use of the Idaho Reporter citation only. Washington judges seem to vary a bit more, at least on the Dry Side.

        • jowgajen

          Lawyers call plagiarism “precedent” and roll right on.

          English teachers prefer you paraphrase AND cite. The citation gives you authority, not language. You get to quote in cases where actual language matters, only.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            amen.

      • Suse

        Court pleadings are “plagiarized” all the time.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Exactly. I remember my legal research & writing prof saying there hadn’t been an original thought in the legal world in 150 years.

          • Suse

            So true.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, I was gonna say – my research and writing prof said what Suse said, even saying something like plagiarizing is sort of encouraged.

            You can see my problem here.

          • Suse

            I’ve seen some really scary examples of it, like failing to change the names of the parties or copying points and authorities that were not germane to the case in the original pleading.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            oof – that’s just lazy lawyering/paralegaling. Almost sanction or discipline worthy.

          • Suse

            Yup. I proofread everything that my attys prepared and caught some doozies. The secretaries were always pissed when they had to re-do things. Unfortunately, I was the only paralegal out of 10 in the group who did this.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            . . . then billing 6 hours for “document preparation.”

          • Suse

            But of course!

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            “Hey, man, I took an oath, not a vow of poverty.”

          • Suse

            I fucking hated billing!!!

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Billing is why I prefer being a PD.

          • Suse

            Good choice. Billing was so traumatic. We had a corporate client who wanted justification for every single second. It took hours to pull it all together.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I’d rather not know that my client hasn’t paid me when I see him hauling around a brand new ATV.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            just the goddamn word gives me flashbacks…i still think it was the major bone of contention at the ill-fated law job.

            Never again man.

          • Suse

            Then you’ll have to do plaintiff work – no billing!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, ooooor government work. I get to avoid billing AND bat around the plaintiff’s bar.

          • Suse

            Yesh.

    • Thiazin Red

      Just add references to everything. Like an insane number of references.

      • Jenny

        That’s what I did when I had a literature professor with requirements very similar to Space Tacos. The paper looked like shit, and the references were longer than the report, but covered my ass.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Run it through Grammerly and then cite, cite, cite.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      p.s. This is what set me off:
      “Summaries and paraphrases are written in your own words….it is not enough to name the source; you must restate the source’s meaning using your own language.… You commit plagiarism if you patchwrite — half-copy the author’s sentences, either by mixing the author’s phrases with your own without using quotation marks or by plugging your own synonyms into the author’s sentence structure. The following para- phrases are plagiarized — even though the source is cited — because their language and sentence structure are too close to those of the source.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b1f8a73887b56bbaa6e4ec79f085b5e3e569b827115758193d7f56e0783d59b5.png

      • h4rr4r

        What part of this set you off?
        Honestly seems reasonable.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          well, take an example from law: “[X] is not an appealable order.” This is common-law, embedded in case law going back decades. Under APA, I either have to quote an entirely pedestrian sentence, OR maim the ever-loving shit out of it. “Appealable orders do not include X” perhaps.

          Brief writing doesn’t do that.
          Also, how is a student or writer supposed to navigate the minefield of “too close to those of the source”?

          Who decides what’s too close? If I decide on way and the reader decides another way, I’m a plagiarist!!! (on a side note, plagiarism, rightfully, has an ugly connotation of dishonesty attached to it. not sure about you all, but when I hear that word, I think of copy-pastaing large sections of the original material without attribution.

          Maybe I’ve had too much caffeine.

          • redarmyzombie

            I had a scare once where a professor thought I plagiarized an article for a paper I’d written and called me up to talk about it.

            The kicker? I read many articles for my paper, except the one they thought was plagiarized.

          • h4rr4r

            Brief writing is ok with plagiarism though. It is more about communication than literary value.

            I believe traditionally the instructor decides what constitutes plagiarism.

      • cmd resistor

        Ugh.

      • Lefty Wright

        How about “not all fat kids are hooked on social media and video games.” They would hit you for fat shaming, though.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          academia truly is a minefield.

          lol.

    • Thiazin Red

      The absolute worst thing is when something is common knowledge, but someone wants a citation and you can not find one. You’re not allowed to just say everybody knows it, and Peter Davies tells it to everyone who uses his antibodies but I guess never actually published that result.

    • La forza del resistino

      Attributive footnotes. When in doubt, cite Mark Twain

    • Jenny

      Cite everything.

  • chascates

    To put things into a historical context the next time you hear ‘Deep State’ imagine they’re actually saying ‘the Jews’.

  • OrG

    At the very least, all of the rethugs are now co-conspirators. Lock these motherfuckers up.

  • Most Stable Land Shark

    Russia already meddling in U.S. midterm elections, Tillerson says

    USA Today. US FUCKING A TODAY!!! Do we need Sky Penis to spell it out for all you dumbfucks?

    • HazooToo

      “It’s important we just continue to say to Russia, ‘Look, you think we don’t see what you’re doing. We do see it, and you need to stop. If you don’t, you’re going to just continue to invite consequences for yourself.’ ”

      WHAT FUCKING CONSEQUENCES?!

  • btwbfdimho
    • jowgajen

      She’s gonna double her salary and still have enough years in govt for a pension. Nice deal if you can get it.

      • Lefty Wright

        Yeah, McCabe will pop up in some position in about 6 months making double his government salary, draw his retirement pay, and put up with a lot less shit.

    • redarmyzombie

      I know it’s probably a cushy position, but something about someone leaving the Drumpfsterfire administration for walmart because of job security is fucking hilarious to me…

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      That sounds like a smart career move. Chipotle might also be hiring.

    • Lord Jim

      Is switching from Trump to Walmart really an ethical step up?

  • Most Stable Land Shark
  • rocktonsam

    Committee needs to find a new name.

  • Suse

    Pence makes me want to kill my teevee. What a disingenuous POS.

    • jowgajen

      Also really stupid. Like inanimate object stupid.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’d like to wipe that smug little holier than though smirk right off of his face, with a bag of votes.

      • yyyaz

        A really stinky bag of “votes.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Things will be looked at strongly. Also, there’s a sproat in the oats.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Smoke O’Hontas

      I’d bake them one of the cakes we like!
      I have an especially soft spot for gents I wish were my grampa(s)!

    • Suse

      Sweet!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Who let the onion ninjas in here?

  • Smoke O’Hontas

    NPR was reporting that they are considering putting up an actual wall in the House Intel Committee room because none of the parties can manage to play nice in the sandbox, but I may have fallen into a fugue state and imagined it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Republican cooties eat your brain and kill your soul. There is no cure. BUILD THE WALL!11!!!

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        They’re like my personal Vietnam then?
        *looks up fragging…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Build the dang wall!

      PS – you did NOT imagine this.

      Next paycheck I’m donating to Ironstache in your honor. He will probably lose, but I love the thought of the little people deposing Paul Ryan.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Aren’t you the sweetest!? Ironstache 4evah! I think he has a solid chance, honestly, he’s running the perfect campaign for his downtrodden district. He’s a real workin’ man, and nobody has put up a formidable candidate against Ryan. I hate to be optimistic, but #ironstache is totally someone I can see bringing out voters who usually sit at the bar (and that’s a fair percentage of southern Wisco). I officially start canvassing there next week, but may hit the bar crowd this weekend ;-)

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I loved his commercial with his mom, that described the problems she’s having paying for her medications. That’s a universal theme that Democrats could win with, if we were smart.

          The DNC needs to hire whoever did that ad. We are TERRIBLE at messaging.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Indeed. The silver lining is that good marketing folks are totally available. Why the DNC doesn’t spend their ameros on them is the question.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            We are idiots who like to lose. I’m not sure why we love losing, but we seem to embrace it.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory is a niche market. Dems like to specialize?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      ….bartender weeps, drinks himself into a coma.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        But not before at least voting absentee, I hope.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All Rethugs are traitors.

      Pass it on.

    • James

      https://www.cbsnews.com/news/house-intel-committee-gop-plan-to-wall-themselves-off-from-democrats-devin-nunes-adam-schiff/ (caution for auto-play video)

      The GOP is accusing the Dems of “spying” on a former Trump campaign staffer

  • Gosala

    Has this been mentioned? According to NPR this evening they are building a literal wall to separate the Democratic and Republican staffers for the committee because the tensions are so high.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Because Nunes is a dick is the reason I heard.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      NPR also invited Erick idiot son of A Idiot Erickson to review the week’s news on ATC. The WaPo reporter to supply the other side actually agreed with Teh Idiot.

      Come on, NPR.

      • Gosala

        Nice Polite Republicans. That really does explain them.

  • JaveyDay

    An asshole, a wife beater, a fuckface, a nazi, a sexual assaulter, a coal baron, a Russian spy, a dickhead, a televangelist, Mike Pence and An Moran all walk into the Oval Office.

    There’s no punchline.

    • So that’s like, *sticks out tongue, counts* 2 people then?

    • aktlib101

      So: Pence, Trump and a televangelist?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Pence, Trump and Bachmann.

      • miss_grundy

        That would be Pence, Trump and a scam artist. Wait, all of them are scam artists. My bad!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Of course everyone in the White House turned a blind eye for a year to Porter’s abuse. Of course Trump praised and defended a wife beater. As John Podhoretz-of all fucking people-said today, Trump told us exactly who he was on the Hollywood Access tape. Anyone who voted for him or works for him obviously doesn’t consider sexual assault or domestic abuse to be a problem; either that or they are so greedy, racist, and vindictive that they’re happy to look the other way to line their pockets while fucking over anyone who isn’t a straight white man.

    • OrG

      Fucking over a lot of straight white men also too.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Collateral damage.

    • Lord Jim

      Ta-Nehisi Coates pointed out that, maybe not every single Trump voter was a racist, but all of them felt comfortable turning America over to one.

      • yyyaz

        That still makes them racists by proxy.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Like Werner Herzog recently said; what is happening here is what Germans had to come to grips with in the prior century. One third of our population will happily kill another one third, while the remaining one third sits with their thumbs up their asses and watches silently.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          And mentally cheering them on.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    “The FBI wiretap lets us listen in on the secret conversation of two powerful white men​ callously deciding the terms by which black people are allowed political power​.“
    https://m.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2018/02/09/pritzker-the-sneak-disser-might-as-well-have-said-the-n-word

    • Lord Jim

      Fuck. I just don’t know what else to say.

  • Rick Hill
  • Paperless Tiger

    Swalwell lays it out quite clearly. Trump colluded with Russia and the Republicans are complicit. You’d think the Republicans would try not to act so guilty, but I don’t think they have much choice. Everything they’ve done is a crime.

    • Suse

      I love my congress critter!

  • Suse

    ‘Eat your heart out, Pence’: Gay Olympians who refused to meet with VP taunt him in new Instagram photo

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/02/eat-heart-pence-gay-olympians-refused-meet-vp-taunt-new-instagram-photo/

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Ok wait…
    Wait…

    Trump has just named Jim Carroll as the new Drug Czar.

    Jim Carroll? I thought he died.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Carroll

    Please, anyone who knows how to imbed video, please do.

  • Nounverb911
  • Picabo
  • President in Exile Firefly
    • Doug Langley

      Hillary was behind it, right?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        With her uranium Ben Ghazi buttery males.

        • redarmyzombie
        • Doug Langley

          The Golden Girls:

          “My one real regret growing up was that I was never voted Butter Queen.”
          “Oh, yes. She was great in Gone With The Wind. But I was rooting for Olivia deHaviland.”
          “Blanche, are you listening to what we’re saying?”
          “Bits and pieces.”

  • Nounverb911
  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • aktlib101

    Fuck, I am sick of all of this. Every damn day.
    If the Dems take back Congress (sometimes this century) and the WH (before we all die), they better gerrymander, discriminate against low-educated whites, against religious nutjobs, shut down rightwing hate radio, and deport the MOFO racist/misogynist white Americans back to their original countries.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Just running it straight would be a big improvement.

    • Tony Prost

      yeah, I just turned 65: Donald Trump might be my last president!
      Eisenhower to Trump. Gotta hand it to the Repugs: they done themselves proud!

  • gallbladder

    Anyway, Trump will get around to letting the Democratic memo out without redacting all the parts that make him look like a fucking idiot VERY SOON, you bet!

    Also (all of it.)

  • Me not sure

    Are we taking bets on when Kelly’s exit date is? I’m betting on St. Valentine’s day because I’m a romantic at heart. It’s always been a good day for a massacre.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Tomorrow is Friday.

      • Me not sure

        Where?

      • Parakeetist

        Isn’t it Friday today?

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Oops. My work schedule is weird and it always messes me up on what day of the week it is.

          • Parakeetist

            Okay. Your Fiona avatar is so squee! :)

  • WiscoJoe

    Weird ass stories in the Intercept and NY Times. I need a wonksplainer quick. Also, the pee tape is real JFC.

    • Jenny

      CIA is scared to get Trump dirt because Pompeo is a bootlicker. NSA just wants their uber leet hax program they wrote back. Some skeevy Russian is like yo, I got your program but I mostly just want to tell you all about Trump.

      He hasn’t produced the software and the Trump stuff they already knew.

      NSA thinks it’s a plot to get money and make our intelligence agencies look bad on behalf of Trump.

      • WiscoJoe

        Yeah, I got that from the articles. I just need some dick jokes added in to help me process.

        • Jenny

          Fixed!

    • Chad

      @pwnallthethings had an interesting take on this after the stories dropped. It’s something, but there are a *lot* of details missing. https://twitter.com/pwnallthethings/status/962119396671082496

  • Trumpsters_are_fools

    just gonna drop some disturbing reporting here;

    California cops collaborated with knife-wielding neo-Nazi to go after stabbed antifa protesters
    Several of the antifa counterprotesters in the brawl were stabbed
    repeatedly by neo-Nazis. But CHP records given to the British paper by
    attorneys in the resulting criminal case show officers treated the white
    supremacists as sources and victims, with an investigator named Donovan
    Ayres going so far as to tell one TWP organizer he wished he could help
    him identify his enemies.

    “I’m gonna suggest that we hold that or redact your name or something
    until this gets resolved,” Ayres told TWP member Doug McCormack,
    referring to a public records request for the organization’s rally
    permit
    that contained McCormack’s name. The Guardian says Ayres also told
    McCormack he didn’t know who was behind the request, but “If I did, I
    would tell you.”

    In arrest reports, the same cop argued that a black anti-fascist
    counterprotester who had been stabbed three times in the altercation
    should be charged with 11 crimes. “As evidence, Ayres provided Facebook
    photos of the man holding up his fist” and said that “‘Black Power
    salute’ and his ‘support for anti-racist activism’ demonstrated his
    ‘intent and motivation to violate the civil rights’ of the neo-Nazi
    group,” the Guardian notes. Prosecutors did not take up Ayres’ charging
    recommendations against that man and set aside the vast majority of
    Highway Patrol recommendations, but are still bringing felony cases
    against three counterdemonstrators from the melee.

    https://thinkprogress.org/s

    • redarmyzombie

      Again: I don’t fucking trust cops.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Nope

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        It’s a tough call. I’m in a fairly large city and the locals do a pretty good job in a place that has a big immigrant population, tons of white trash, and some gang violence thrown in for good measure… But the Staties? Wow. Literally, jack-booted thugs, and I could tell you 2 personal horror stories about attempted rape, among other atrocities relative to clients.

        • redarmyzombie

          I knew a couple officers who were good guys, and I wish there were more like them.

          Then there’s fuckers like the bitch who threatened my sister with a tazer at the courthouse when she was dropping off paperwork. Unfortunately, the fuckers give all the good ones a bad name.

    • h4rr4r

      some of those that work forces….

      • bobbert

        are the same…

    • OrG

      Some of those that work forces
      Are the same that burn crosses

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      If this is accurate — and I hope it isn’t — it’s important to remember that not all cops are racist. These guys aren’t even necessarily racist. They may be teaming up with the nazis for an even more pernicious reason: Cops hate dissent. Cops hate disobedience. They will make a deal with the devil to keep “civilians” in their place.

      • Gosala

        Mmmaybe… but isn’t it interesting* that the civilians to be kept in line are black?

        *By interesting I mean infuriating.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t. The cops pulled the same shit with Occupy protesters, Code Pink, the Quakers . . .

          • Gosala

            A fair point

      • h4rr4r

        So why did they pick the Nazi civilians to aid?

        I bet the more likely answer is they are authorization racists.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          The nazis haven’t been criticizing them or challenging their authority. I’ve seen plenty of “Blue Lives Matter” bullshit on the social media accounts of Hispanic, Native American, and Black cops, too.

          • h4rr4r

            And what exactly exempts them from being racists?

  • willi0000000
    • The Wanderer

      The only way MGTOWs, incels, and PUAs can get any.

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      Now that’s dark.

  • Herewegoagain

    Putting Donny in the Oval Office – is like putting Count Dracula in charge of the blood-bank…remember If it quacks like a duck and waddles like a duck, it’s probably a duck. Is Donald a duck?

    • The Economy at best a massive Ponzi scheme clocking up 1 Trillion Dollar deficit adding to the national debt of 20 Trillion Dollars plus and raising….

    • Donny’s pledge to his base the villagers to balance the budget … my ass – no chance…..

    • Healthcare … ??? a national disgrace – ! building Wall’s and a having parade’s is more important …

    • Have a parade ….before Mid-Term Election to keep the villagers entertained….. to boost the poor leaders image

    • Donny Trump is a disaster in every aspect … but he also offers an important lesson for American voters …….don’t elect an incompetent lunatic as president . No more real estate swindlers, con men, narcissistic cry babies, or ignorant fools in the White House.

  • Michael R
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    When does Rosenstein watch begin?

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      About a week ago?

  • jaspersdad

    Here’s one from Out of Control Army. Enemigo Publico

    https://youtu.be/iAuOcfSl2EY?list=LLgXQYZqTITYIaGW8uB1rIzA

  • yyyaz

    Trump blocks Dem memo. Cheezy fucking coward.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Fucking pussy!

  • Nounverb911

    Something, something, Indianapolis Colts, something, knee, walking out.
    https://twitter.com/AP_Sports/status/961949897300865024
    I hope no one stands for the National Anthem whenever they play it for an American gold….

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Mother didn’t give him permission.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      What an asshole, especially after that expensive PR stunt he pulled.

    • glynnis bugati

      He changed his seat to get away from Kim’s sister. Creep.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        She has girl cooties, did you expect any less of him?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Real Christian of you, Mike!

    • Gosala

      “But a man with no manners,
      Why doesn’t he just die? ”
      — Book of Odes

    • Timothy Watson

      “Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. He is fired!”

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      But bow towards the athletes who should not be snubbed.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump’s excitement about the Bastille Day parade is ironic. I always thought the French executed Louis XVI just because he was the king, like turnabout for all that ‘off with their heads’ stuff kings do. But Louis was tried as an ordinary citizen and convicted of treason, colluding with a foreign power against the people of France. Très à propos.

    • Gosala

      Irony is dead. Absurdity is not feeling well.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Sarcasm is on the upswing, however.

  • Nounverb911

    A cure for the common White House epidemic?
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/962124297698512896

    • Bill D. Burger

      Just saw that. What a FUBAR circus! The rats are leaving when the fucking ship has already sunk.
      Another of Trump’s “best” people.

  • Doug Langley

    Well, today I got The Letter. The apartment notifying me that if rent isn’t paid in 3 business days, they start eviction proceedings. And slap me with bill for legal expenses. Will check with them tomorrow to make sure we all know when I’m paying.

    That paycheck cannot come fast enough.

    • Parakeetist

      YIPES

      I am so sorry.

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Plead for a short delay? You have a real job and all …

      Been in your shoes, and pleading + groveling is not fun. I hope they have a bit of mercy.

      • Doug Langley

        As I’ve posted before, I knew this was coming and talked with them and they say they will hold off until the 15th when the deposit is made. But I hate it when they put something different in writing.

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          That sucks. Best you can do is tell them when you get paid, and remind them of what they said. Most people are genuinely nice, so …

          • Doug Langley

            When it comes to business owners, I’ve given up expecting nice.

        • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

          They have to, to protect their rights. The legally required notification period also protects tenants. It still sucks.

    • HazooToo

      This kind of thing is exactly why I fear the phone, the mailbox, and a knock at the door.

    • Cletus Safari

      May the Ascended Madoka bless you.

      Only my mother, who owns the house we live in, shields me from a similar situation. She and my late father worked during a time in our history when honest working stiffs could still build a decent nest egg.

      I do have a gig-type job which lets me pay some of my expenses.

      It annoys me sometimes that I can’t support myself entirely, but at least, thank Madoka, I don’t have to.

      • Doug Langley

        Glad to hear things worked out for you. (Like your avatar, BTW)

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      That sucks, good luck to you.

  • TootsStansbury
  • Cogswell that ends well

    Have I told you lately just how much I hate winter?

    • OutOfOrbit

      You can’t say it enough

    • alpacapunchbowl

      You’re telling me. This storm that came through Chicago today is even fucking up my sex life. You’re an asshole, snow!

      • Cogswell that ends well

        I’m up in the Lake Geneva area. We didn’t get as much as you did but my snowblower belt broke and I couldn’t get a replacement. I am killed.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Oh no! And this is some heavy-ass wet snow too.

    • Lambsendbeds

      It was 74 in Oakland today, on the fucking 9th of February. It’s supposed to plummet to 66 tomorrow. Damn! Winter’s back !

      You may commence bitch-slapping me any time. ;-)

  • Kooolest G

    I was gonna make some joke about Mike Turner/Ike Turner but I think I’ve had enough wife beaters today

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    If you put Mike Turner and Tweety together on the same show would either one of them be able to finish a sentence?

    • Resistor Radio

      What was that old show with the douchey Republican and the nambypamby Democrat? Crossfire?

      • Most Stable Land Shark

        Congress?

      • Gosala

        “Jane, you ignorant slut!”

        • Cletus Safari

          I wonder if Jane and Dan had any idea, at the time, that they were prefiguring the future of televised “debate”?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Lumpy used to have a show like that with Alan Colmes .

      • Cletus Safari

        You misspelled “Misfire”. ;)

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      needz moar Charlie Rose.

      • Doug Langley

        HI, Tacos! How ya doing?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          tired buddy – work and school…you?

          • Doug Langley

            Eviction letter. Scroll down a bit.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i saw that – hang tough; first check is less than a week ago, no? (sorry, I’m doing school work, catching up on new caselaw, wonking, and doing legal research. Lol.

          • Doug Langley

            Is okay. You have your own life to worry about. Yes, first check is next Thursday.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • redarmyzombie
    • Cletus Safari

      These saps think everything is wonderful, if they can just make us unhappy, even if that unhappiness exists only in their deluded little minds.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I’ve never fully understood why they think they owed us by eating subpar food and destroying their own property. I share the confusion of the woman in the cartoon.

        • Fire and Fury Demme

          Reason #193 why I say: “fuck’em!”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      lololololol!

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Bill D. Burger

    YeeeeeeeHaaaaaw! Friday Night West Wing Show.

    https://thumbs.gfycat.com/DifficultDefiniteCattle-size_restricted.gif

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Donnie will not declassify the Dem Memo, per CNN.

    In a letter to the committee, White House counsel Donald McGahn said, “although the President is inclined to declassify the February 5th memorandum, because the memorandum contains numerous properly classified and especially sensitive passages, he is unable to do so at this time.”

    You may now all ready your shocked faces.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    The Castro Brothers (not those ones, the Texas ones) will be a force in the Democratic Party for at least 40 years.

    Who says the only thing good to come out of Texas is Interstate 10?

  • calliecallie

    Here’s a fun game for you wonketteers, and possibly the most amusing thing that has happened to me today. Conversation with mr. cc about the shape of Oahu, goes like this:
    Me: It’s oblong
    He: It’s oval
    Me: Oblong is oval. Google it.
    He: No, Obs have flat sides.
    Me: No. Abs have flat sides.
    He: No. My abs have flab sides.
    Me: A GAME! Change one letter and get a new sentence. Abs have flab rides.
    He: (snorts in derision)
    Me again, because he got distracted: Abs have glad rides. (Oops, that’s 2 letters)
    Now to you wonkettariat. Change (or add) one (or 2) letter(s) and make a new sentence based on the previous entry.

    FYI, google says oblong can be either rectangular or oval. We were both right. Win!

    • OutOfOrbit

      Nah that takes a fluid thought

    • JustDon’tSayMemo

      Abs gave glad rides

      • WIDTAP

        Ass gave glad rides.

        • Ass gave glam rides.

          • Stable Uniomist Raan

            Ass gave tram rides.

          • WIDTAP

            Ads gave slam rides.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Put on your shock face. Trump has apparently asked repeatedly if there are any reasons Porter’s ex-wives could have to make up such claims. He doesn’t believe them. Surprise!

    [HE TOTALLY DENIES IT
    In Private, Donald Trump Voices Doubt About Rob Porter’s Accusers
    This isn’t the first time the president has been persuaded by a man’s denial.
    LACHLAN MARKAY
    ASAWIN SUEBSAENG
    SAM STEIN
    02.09.18 5:00 PM ET]

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/in-private-donald-trump-voices-doubt-about-rob-porters-accusers

  • Resistor Radio

    Leak the goddamn memo

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
  • jaspersdad
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Most Stable Land Shark
    • gallbladder

      The very definition of “impotent.”

  • James

    Pretty much knew this was going to happen: The White House counsel (Don McGahn) just released a memo stating that Trump is not going to declassify the Democratic response to Devin Nunes’s memo.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Another one fleeing the West Wing freak show:

    [The White House confirms that Deputy Chief of Staff Jim Carroll is leaving the West Wing for a place at the Office on Drug Control Policy. A big step down since the funding to combat the opoid crisis is tiny compared to the need.]

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DVoSEaGXUAAR9IN.jpg

    • jaspersdad

      Well Jim Carroll certainly has experience.

      https://youtu.be/QPNqojbyIDk

    • Jackie Jones

      Of course Drug Office is appealing. They do nothing.

  • JBenningfield

    Can I just say that I have a lady boner for Adam Schiff. As you were.

    • altleftjohn

      He’s on Bill Maher tonight.

      • Lambsendbeds

        But, wouldn’t that mean watching Bill Maher? Yeccch!

    • Resistor Radio

      Adam Schiff does inspire fulsome ladyboners.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        It’s those sexy brains.

    • Parakeetist

      I don’t know who I wanna snuggle more, him or Rep. Lieu.

  • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

    How come women* have never been able to use the “I was afraid he was going to rape/kill me” murder defense against men* the way men have been able to use it (gay panic) as a defense for assaulting/killing gay men and trans women?

    *presume all the cis-het here

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Because vagina, duh. /s

      • Rick Hill

        Well, of course, because PMS is not a license to kill….

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Because us trans girls are all trying to trick men into liking our penises, and that’s scary for men. Duh.

      Plus, you cis women REALLY want that fat, smelly loser to fuck you. We all know you REALLY do. Nevermind the crumbs in his beard.

    • Resistor Radio

      (19 days what?)

      • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

        (Baconz visits!)

        • Resistor Radio

          (Yay for you two!!!!)

        • Lambsendbeds

          Whoopee!!!!

          • Doug Langley

            And lots of it.

    • HazooToo

      They have been, but only against black men.

      • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

        Good point.

    • Gosala

      Men. Women. ¿You have to ask?

    • shivaskeeper

      Off the top of my head its because the story that gets told more often than not is that cis-het guys are not rapists or would ever do any sort of sexual assault because or moms raised us right. On the flip side everyone knows gay men lie and trick all straight men all the time because all they think about is sex.

      Toss in a belief that being gay is a choice and the only way to make more gay men is to recruit straight men and there you are.

      Is any of it true? No. Does it make sense? No. But fighting decades of cultural myth that is still actively pushed is hard. Especially if you don’t know, if want to know, it’s a myth .

      • Jackie Jones

        I love when ugly bigots think they’re gonna get hot on Lol

  • Bill D. Burger
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The best people.

      • Bill D. Burger

        ‘Everybody’s saying it. Believe me.’

    • Gosala

      Another record!

    • gallbladder

      The best turnover.

  • Nounverb911
  • Rick Hill
    • Jackie Jones

      Vid of the day!

  • Bill D. Burger

    [The White House confirms that Deputy Chief of Staff Jim Carroll is leaving the West Wing for a place at the Office on Drug Control Policy. A big step down since the funding to combat the opoid crisis is tiny compared to the need.]
    Now it’s clear why he’s been sent over there:

    Kellyanne Conway Takes Over Opioid Response
    By Kelly Burch 02/08/18
    Drug policy experts have been excluded. “It’s a message that we’re not taking this drug issue seriously.”

    As White House counselor Kellyanne Conway takes over public policy at President Trump’s urging, some government officials and drug policy experts say that the administration is undermining the Office of National Drug Control Policy and pushing out expert voices in favor of advocating for less credible solutions to the opioid crisis, including a war on drugs led by law enforcement and a border wall.]

    https://www.thefix.com/kellyanne-conway-takes-over-opioid-response

    • OrG

      Do they just fuck shit up to fuck it up?
      Or just totally incompetent?

      • HazooToo

        Yes.

      • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

        There’s a percentage of incompetence, a percentage of greed and a percentage of maliciousness.

  • Rick Hill

    Are we not catz? We are Bluejay!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZY5SaPDQpU

    • gallbladder

      Whoa.

    • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

      In the wild he will be able to translate Blue Jay into Cat and vice versa.

    • cheetojeebus

      Translation, “Why the fuck am i in this admittedly spacious tho crushingly boring cage, you fucking heartless fucking lumbering farting beasts?” At least this is what my cat tells me he’s saying.

    • Tetman Callis

      I watched that and turned around to see my two cats sitting behind me, also watching.

      “A cat? Sounds like a cat.”
      “Doesn’t look like a cat.”
      “That’s what I was thinking. Looks like a bird.”
      “I think it is a bird.”
      “A bird that speaks cat.”
      “Wonder what it tastes like.”
      “Chicken, I would imagine.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just announced: Trump has said he will block the release of the Democratic memo on the Russia probe because of his fears that it will “….harm national security.”

    Surprise!

    • Gosala

      In other words:
      1. Release the Nunes memo because it’s substanceless fluff.
      2. Quash the Schiff memo because it has real stuff in it.

      Dear A.M., these people are stupid.

  • harryr

    God knows, but this seems appropriate right now.
    https://youtu.be/KzjHbbXH2XE

  • Bill D. Burger

    The Latest in the ‘No Hypocrisy Here’ file:

    [Trump will not declassify Democratic memo
    Associated Press
    Associated Press•February 9, 2018]

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/latest-trump-wont-declassify-democratic-memo-010004511.html?soc_trk=gcm&soc_src=2d64fd91-5e6d-33de-8103-abddb6e1a799&.tsrc=notification-brknews

    • gallbladder

      Nothing to see here, folks! Move along, move along.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    While I’m glad to hear that the Diocese of Boise is evicting the retired priest arrested for child porn, perhaps Mark Raper isn’t the best spokesman for its Review Board for Sexual Misconduct.

    Christensen called for prayer regarding the case and any “exploited” children, and advised any victims of child sexual abuse to report their experiences to police. He also referenced a sexual misconduct review board operated by the diocese, which investigates church reports internally. A call from the Statesman on Tuesday to the board’s director, Mark Raper, was not immediately returned.

    http://amp.idahostatesman.com/news/local/crime/article198724534.html

  • JaveyDay
    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I just know I’d be the one to get bitten.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Alpacas spit for defense they very rarely bite.

    • Parakeetist

      Swarm of Alpacas is my favorite band.

    • DrBigHead

      I have a cousin who raises beef cattle in northern Minnesota. He has a pair of Llamas. Why (other than they are cute)?. Because they will kick the living shit out of any coyotes who even think about messing with the calves.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Yep, when I farmed in Canada it was not unusual to have them guard sheep.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Silence of the Llamas

      • JaveyDay

        Nice

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I can’t wait to get home from work, fire up the vape, pour a glass of wine and do knitting.
      I know, I party like a rockstar, eh?

      • Jackie Jones

        Knit on girl!

  • altleftjohn
    • Rick Hill

      “Ok. We actually caught heat for this issue. Anyone else have a problem with this, we’re gonna need you to leave now…”
      *swoosh*(room clears)

  • Nounverb911
  • Reximus
    • Parakeetist

      Uh

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Is Mike Huckabee writing his material now?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        I thought he paid his dog abusing son to do that given how unamusing and cruel he is.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          They really should check their crawlspace and hard drives.

    • gallbladder

      He thinks he’s funny?

    • JaveyDay

      No. Just no. No.

      For fuck’s sake.

    • Gosala

      “Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!”

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Holy crap. How many domestic abusers does/did this White House employ?

    • HazooToo

      Counting Trump?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        From the top down, truly.

    • eka

      it’s really not surprising when you consider the type of people who would be willing to work there.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Only the best people!

      • That;s what I was just thinking. How are they going to find anyone to work there that isn’t horrible? What halfway decent person would want to be there?

    • Gosala

      AOT,K

      • Rick Hill

        Obligatory/standard

    • Resistor Radio

      These are only the ones who’ve been caught, so far. Remember that. There might still be police reports we don’t know about yet.

      • Parakeetist

        This shit is like some mutant episode of Law and Order. “Everybody in ths Fucking City Gets Arrested.”

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      AOT,K?

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        I would’ve been *so* disappointed if someone hadn’t posted that reply.

    • Changeling

      Well, some of them are single.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So Quincy Jones claims that Marlon Brando fucked James Baldwin, Richard Pryor, and Marvin Gaye. Also he was a terrific dancer, and the most charming motherfu…shut your mouth!…you could ever hope to meet.

  • HazooToo

    A cute thing because everything is horrible https://imgur.com/gallery/1WKUW9T

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Undercover in Ottawa, continued…..
    “Justin’s not here, man. Eh?” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/08f00170d02a5d057a544aa4b1ba369a358e09ed6c23b48a6f6e58109593c119.jpg

    • Gosala

      They have a council for the privy?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s like a kitchen cabinet, but….

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Never forget, Trump was involved in every minute detail of the transition. Just like he personally selected the instructors at Trump U. Attention to every motherfucking detail is kind of his thing.

    • DrBigHead

      Snark, right?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        It’s what they said at the time.

        • DrBigHead

          I gotta believe, from what is apparently the case today, that this was said to inflate his shallow ego. I suspect the extent of his attention was to bitch and scream if things took a bad turn or something happened to make him look bad. People’s personalities do not change that radically, unless he truly has dementia or some other degenerative neurological disorder. Occams Razor suggests my first interpretation

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        He can’t even control his hair/scalp.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Well, wouldn’t you want to run away screaming too?

  • Nounverb911

    We’re gonna need the British to burn the WH again to get all the trumpstench out of it.

    https://twitter.com/RealAlexJones/status/962121692314243074

    • yyyaz

      My brain is — as much as possible here — an Alex-Jones-free zone.

      • tomamitai

        Alex Jones’s head is a brain free zone.

    • Well, did you see her idea of Christmas decorations? The White Hallway of Despair?

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        That was a cry for help. Sadly, noone answered.
        Thanks Obama.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Yes, Donald and his staff reek of it theses days.

  • La forza del resistino

    DOJ #3 lawyer resigns to work for Walmart.
    We’ve fallen to the place where Walmart is a more attractive employer than the US government.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      I’m so conflicted: upvote, downvote, abstain or comment about my moral conundrum?
      I guess I’ll have another drink before committing and take door number 4.

    • 3FingerPete

      I wonder if there is a canned food donation box in the WalMart legal department for attorneys who can’t afford to feed their families.

  • “Speaking of the South Korean Olympics, have you noticed how the metals look like laminate flooring samples at the Home Depot?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6693bac371d39722c5ba813e9dd66e1694ea5f3f17e7ae985b5723cd364a787e.jpg

    Jimmy Kimmel

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Are they really going with brushed metal? Haha.

    • greyXstar

      Hey the bronze looks just like my bedroom flooring! I always wanted to be a medalist.

  • HazooToo
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump now going with the “bitches set him up” defense of Porter. Of course. Of fucking course.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Don’t you love that we’re in an era where this is the quality of a not insignificant portion of the populace?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Fuck me. I need to start keeping lye and steel wool nearby when I watch television so I can scrub off the moral decay.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        For sure! I was sick of sleeping well knowing that a sane constitutional attorney was at the helm. So boring, amirite?

      • h4rr4r

        As if it was ever different.

        The difference today is beating your wife is not socially acceptable.

    • La forza del resistino

      If Donald was put in charge of writing obituaries, they would all read ‘he did a great job’

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hitler, Attila the Hun, Ted Bundy….

    • shivaskeeper

      Did you doubt that would be the case?

  • IMPOed

    Barren, just fucking barren wasteland as far as the eye can see……

    • Gosala

      Let us go then, you and I,

      When the evening is spread out against the sky

      Like a patient etherized upon a table;

      Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,

      The muttering retreats

      Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels

      And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:

      Streets that follow like a tedious argument

      Of insidious intent

      To lead you to an overwhelming question …

      Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”

      Let us go and make our visit.

      • IMPOed

        :>D

  • Jenny

    Boyfriend: You know, if you’re not smart enough to not get caught doing bad shit, you don’t belong in the White House.

    Me: YEAH! This is America! Professional sociopaths only!

    Him: … I guess I didn’t think that thought all the way through.

    • Gosala

      The best way to not get caught doing bad shit is to not do bad shit.

      Unfortunately, they don’t understand why what they did was wrong.

  • biologydave

    Ever since this whole “wish him well” thing erupted, I’ve been unable to dislodge this earworm.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ns9BvYz8WE

  • tehbaddr
  • Jack Has a Memo!!!!

    So, Donnie’s blocking the release of the Dem response to Nunes’ bullshit memo.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ad85500df3cd6ccd7400e807400682087617588789115745909c270be8c203d.jpg

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Refusing to release the Schiff memo is another brick in the obstruction of justice wall.

  • Jackie Jones

    Evan, now you’ve done it. I expect all reports to have kitty gifs now! Hilarious!

    • Cogswell that ends well

      The poor cat that jumped at the mirror, though. Meouch!

      • Jackie Jones

        Yes. No scary injured cat stuff. And I had to stop watching Facebook for the “The Story of Torture and then Adoption” dog vids. OMG, no.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Still can’t believe he didn’t just release an edited version of it FFS:

    https://twitter.com/NancyPelosi/status/962137276154294273

    • TJ Barke

      Lots.

    • WannabeTraveler

      How in the hell can he get away with not releasing it. People need to take to the street!! It is so infuriating, threw things at the tv.

  • So I’m reading my afternoon news essays, and there’s one (I forget where) about how the Dems/liberals/left are losing their momentum & energy lately, and this could jeopardize their chances at taking over Congress in November.

    To which I say:

    Gee whiz, the election is NINE MONTHS AWAY. A lot can happen between now and then. Let’s pace ourselves a little, OK? We all know that Trump isn’t going to be impeached by the Republicans no matter what, right? And we can’t kick out his GOP enablers in Congress until the election. Keep the anger and activism on a nice simmer; don’t let it cool off. Think and act strategically. Work on getting and supporting viable candidates – ones with the best chance of actually winning, not just those who agree with you on your Issue Of The Day.

    When September arrives, then you can get fired up again.

    • HazooToo

      We’re always “losing” something, even when we’re inexplicably winning elections that should have been safe for Republicans. Ignore those articles. They are disinformation meant to demoralize.

      • Gosala

        But…but…librul lamestream media!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Please let Conor Lamb win, please let Conor Lamb win, please let Conor Lamb win x INFINITY.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Russian inspired propaganda, and also to discourage momentum.

    • shivaskeeper

      No. You will not apply critical thought to this, nor will you employ strategic thinking. You will run around screaming about how the party that has no actual power is not getting things done fast enough.

      Don’t let this lapse happen again.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Contrarian journalists just hope to cash in be ahead of the curve!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Trump’s approval ratings have been going up, all because he threw the middle class a few crumbs with his stupid tax cut, which we will give back many times over when we get stuck paying for his goddamned tax cut. Christ, people are so easily duped.

    • Changeling

      In a lot of countries you wouldn’t even think about the elections for a few more months.

  • HazooToo

    Cute but also intimidating https://imgur.com/gallery/HFk5cZe

    • therblig

      better with sound – they literally squeee

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjfjELmuvW8

      • HazooToo

        Ooooohmigod, so do I!!!!!

      • gallbladder

        Happy little souls.

    • msanthropesmr

      Stink Kitties

    • gallbladder

      No one moves, and nobody gets sprayed.

      • willi0000000

        i lived in Eastie (East Boston) where they imported skunks to combat the rats during harbor tunnel construction (just the first two . . . had plenty during the third) . . . they’ve walked over my feet and alongside me many times and nobody got scared so nobody got sprayed.

        [ if you got skunks you don’t got rats! ]

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Someone asked me today how I can sit in meetings and listen to someone just straight-faced lie to me without yelling “YOU ARE LYING! I HAVE THE RECEIPTS!”
    I told them that so many people lie to me on a regular basis in these meetings that I have just accepted it will happen.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Does it scare you that this would qualify you to work in the Trump “administration”?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’m amazed at how much accents from nearby areas can differ in the British Isles. Or is it showbiz that change accents ?

    Take Peter Capaldi. He’s from Glasgow and his accent is pretty mild. I can actually understand him : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP6XmcR3_QQ

    Robert Carlyle is also from Glasgow and yet, he sounds like he’s from a different area : https://youtu.be/DwYzhVHO-Tc

    You’ve got this kid from Paisley, 7 miles from Glasgow. I’m really struggling at times : https://youtu.be/hRb0_7USFmM

    Then you’ve got these guys from Clydebank, 8 miles from Glasgow. They’re almost incomprehensible to me :https://youtu.be/cCZLfNz21as

    • HazooToo

      For me, it’s the guy in the second vid that’s hardest to understand. He’s talking a lot faster than the others!

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      There’s a documentary from the 80’s by Robert MacNeil called The Story of English. He shows examples of different dialects from around Britain, and it’s hard to tell they are speaking the same language.

    • Parakeetist

      They say the BBC makes TV news anchors get rid of their regional accents. Hmm.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Pity. French telly do the same. Journalism students are encouraged to lose their provincial accents. And then you have absurd situations like TV shows set in the South of France, but with characters who sound like they’re from Paris.

    • therblig

      my father’s parents (glasgow and kirkintilloch) and family all sounded like these guys. but i think of all the things i got from my scottish heritage, i’m most thankful for that which i (and blig jr) share with the likes of peter capaldi, david tennant, david byrne, and craigy ferg…scottish hair

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c6dd8dd5791f505585b0a3017e82ad4157183d595eef4cd32120b2f6c64fbefd.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e03b4bb5a3b192a6b6095da2cd273e359f4186dc9cba757c50dee7fc63b3de55.jpg

  • Cletus Safari

    Fuck this shit, it’s music time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmXWVOcTt3c

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So Pussgrab GolfsALot has decided he can’t release the memo the Democrats wrote because he’s a guilty motherfucker of national security concerns. LOL.

    • Left Coast Tom

      This would be the memo he can’t read because it’s more than one word page long?

      • gallbladder

        And/or no pictures or stars on the fridge for comprehension.

    • greyXstar

      This is my shocked face. 😐

  • La forza del resistino

    WH says Infrastructure Week, the Sequel of the Sequel starts Monday people. Get your party hardhats ready.

  • Most Stable Land Shark
  • IMPOed
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Maybe Russian hackers have a lot more than the pee tape?

    https://twitter.com/peterdaou/status/962086803460288512

    • Cletus Safari
    • Parakeetist

      Has he eaten people?

    • shivaskeeper

      He’s a very good conman. He always has been. It;s his only real strength. One of the hallmarks of his ability is to get people to buy into the bullshit he’s selling. Couple that with personal and professional greed and he gets people to follow along.

      The problem is, the people who follow along with their eyes shut, unlike the just plain greedy who follow even knowing what he is for personal gain, is he does not get the best people.

      Porter was kept on staff even though everyone knew about the accusations and why he couldn’t get a real security clearance because while he is a wife beater, he’s not completely ineffective at work. That’s the best they can get. The rest of the followers either have no relevant experience, or are actually insane.

  • Jenny

    It’s infrastructure week again!! Wait, what shit show episode came out during the last infrastructure week?

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      I honestly don’t remember, it’s been approximately ten thousand years.

      • Jenny

        I think it was big. Like Donald Jr with Russians big.

        • Stable Uniomist Raan

          Thanks for refreshing my memory. I could not for the life of me remember when that happened.

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Cletus Safari

      To Begley, not RFC:

      https://i.imgur.com/m8RWNT3.jpg

      • TJ Barke

        No, that’s clearly some bad shit.

    • Parakeetist

      “Gotta lay off that LSD, kinda makes the offspring goofy-looking.” – Gwar, “Slaughterama”

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Bill D. Burger
    • therblig

      well, chop-chop, barry. quit slacking off. it’s been a fucking year already.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I’m saying… first we didn’t get the FEMA camps. Jade HELM didn’t round up the TROOF TELLERS!!!!111 into Wal-Mart basements, and we haven’t had ONE forced gay transgender marriage under Sharia law!!! What the hell, Bamz??? We voted you Emperor 4 Life…

        • Ling Ling

          And I still got my gunz!

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          I’ve still got my “2nd Amendment Repealed” panties, and frankly the rash is a bit overwhelming.

          • therblig

            have you tried some sort of suppressor?

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Hydrocortisone didn’t work so I doubt putting a pillow over it will have any effect.

    • shivaskeeper

      Nah. Illuminati assassination is a perennial RWNJ/religious right plot line. There is nothing new there. Only the name of the leader ever changes.

      • DrBigHead

        I guarantee, if there was an Illuminati plot to kill Trump, I would have heard about it.

        Perhaps I said too much…….

        • Cletus Safari

          Dammit, what is the First Rule of Illuminati Club?

          • Gosala

            Um… post everything to the internet?

          • Ling Ling

            Blame the Guild of Calamitous Intent?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Not to talk about Fight Club?

          • Gosala

            Dammit!!!

            * head desk head desk head desk *

        • anon_the_great

          Fuck. We all live a Robert Anton Wilson novel after all

          • DrBigHead

            I was thinking more Umberto Eco.

          • Gosala

            Are we in an Eco chamber then?

            (I’ll see myself out)

          • Cletus Safari
          • DrBigHead

            Well done!

          • Gosala

            * curtsy-bows *

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Be sure to feel bad! XOXO

          • Gosala

            * smiles smugly*

        • Gosala

          I would like to join your illuminati club subscribe to your newsletter.

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          The important point is whether you’ve seen it on the internet.

    • anon_the_great

      Who holds back the electric car
      Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star
      We do
      We do

    • HazooToo

      When? Can I get it on tape? Is there enough time to arrange a viewing party?

    • janecita

      Really? Explain to me how come Trump is the one pictured here plodding with Bill. ILLUMINATI!!!!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7491560ada1027a62489cc1e0c1d966dce66a7f6fa9d7e26682b31e10cf954e.gif

    • Me not sure

      I applied for a position with the Illuminati, but was told that I was not black so I couldn’t be a member of a surreptitiously world dominating organization. Who knew that they were all back people?

    • Most Stable Land Shark
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Where are the men in white coats with the butterfly nets? Thanks, Reagan!

  • DrBigHead
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I honestly thought he would release a heavily redacted one five minutes before the Opening Ceremony, and then scream “NATIONAL SECURITY!” when challenged.

    • Cletus Safari
    • Gosala

      HOW DARE YOU repost something already posted before!1`!

      I am mortally offended and demand a duel: bread sticks at thirty paces at dawn in the field where the old oak tree used to be!!!x11**11

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Umm, I hate to be a downer, but “bread sticks” aren’t inclusive of the gluten free wonkers. I suggest celery sticks (if we can hire people to harvest them), so we’re moar PC to piss off the Fox viewers.

        • Gosala

          I’ll compromise with gluten free bread sticks, but celery is right out (unless it’s in a mirepois)

  • TJ Barke

    How completely fucking braindead do you have to be to not see that Trump is corrupt as fuck?

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      I’ve always been amazed that more people don’t choke of their own tongues.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Did you know All-star Products sold 25 million Snuggies?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bill D. Burger
    • shivaskeeper

      One of Kelly’s problems, and one Mattis probably has as well even if we don;t hear about it, is Generals are used to deferring to the Executive. Even if Kelly was squeaky clean and above reproach, he is still used to doing what the President wants. He might try to talk the incumbent out of something, lodge a complaint, or any number of other things, but hen the order comes down, he will execute the order.

      You do not shed 30 years of military deference in that short a time.

      • Phried Ω

        Which is actually a good thing. The alternative normally results in a coup.

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s a good thing for an active duty officer. No so much for someone who is supposed to the voice of reason. Not for someone who is supposed to be a trusted advisor. How can you effectively advise someone if you are going to agree with what they say from the star and they know it?t, If you, by training, experience, and law, know not to argue to hard for what you believe if it will contradict the one in charge?

          • Phried Ω

            They don’t make them like George Marshall anymore.

    • Msgr_MΩment
  • NATOist

    How to Torch a Reputation You Spent 30 Years Building in 6 Months by General John Kelly

    • Parakeetist

      Subtitle: “I Am a Fucking Asshole”

    • Bill D. Burger

      We were warned. Both Brian Fallon and Robbie Mook said when Kelly came into the White House that he was a “…true believer” and would support Trump wholeheartedly. Few believed it and saw them as ‘Hill’s guys and just attacking Trump.
      De’ wuz’ rite’!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      How to Torch a Reputation You Spent 30 Years Building Clearly Didn’t Deserve in 6 Months by General John Kelly

      You’re welcome.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bill D. Burger

      Step back. My hypocrisy meter is overheating…..

      https://media.giphy.com/media/trsyVm6Iwrhzq/giphy.gif

      • wait! what?

        …a fission of beauty…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Be such a shame then if it leaked. It could leak this weekend.

      But that’s none of my business.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        If it isn’t I’ll be on the phone with Adam Schiff’s people telling them his constituents want to see it!

      • Cletus Safari

        Besides, rumor has it that Cadet Bone Spurs likes leaks, IYKWIM… ;)

  • Cletus Safari

    Did Motown even know how to make a bad song? Even overlooked singles like this gem sound great.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mVrZmTj_rw

    • shivaskeeper

      No. Not really.

  • ken_kukec

    I’m thinking Gen. John Kelly is figuring out right about now how his hero Gen. Lee felt at Appomattox courthouse.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Honorable and disappointed with the lack of negotiation vis a vis the slavery thing?

      • ken_kukec

        Beaten.

      • Phried Ω

        Not the word I was searching for. Beaten. Yeah, that’s it. To a pulp.

    • Me not sure

      When Lee left, he was allowed to keep his horse and sword. I don’t think Kelly’s exit will be so fortuitous.

      • ken_kukec

        Hope doesn’t get to keep his horse …’s ass in the Oval Office.

  • HazooToo
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ray in VT

      Weird. It’s almost like the place is full of garbage people.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I bet Trump's campaign and administration team has a higher crime rate than any immigrant group. https://t.co/t3iIbA14qs— Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) February 9, 2018

      • Shawn Charniga

        OH SHIT!

      • Cletus Safari

        CHECK, motherfucker!

    • IMPOed

      Third, deputy chief of staff resigned today.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        from Vox:
        https://www.vox.com/2018/2/9/16997508/rachel-brand-resigns-doj-trump-mueller

        Which means that whoever Trump picks to replace Brand could potentially end up in charge of the Mueller investigation. Technically, the next in line is Solicitor General Noel Francisco, who is now serving in Brand’s role in an acting capacity. But legal experts told me that Trump has the authority to name anyone he wants to replace Brand.

        And here’s the scary thing: That person might follow Trump’s order to dismiss the special counsel.

        I guess the only hope left is that whoever Trump appoints may be twice as incompetent as his current bumper crop of cartoon goons. He’s scrapping the underside of the barrel now.

    • shivaskeeper

      The twist here is he claimed she was the abuser before he resigned.

      • Parakeetist

        I CANNOT

    • Bill D. Burger

      He used to be a close adviser to Paul LePage….True! So this is shocking…..NOT.

      https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-09elh1mxSd0/V8B4YA0W4GI/AAAAAAAA0as/5JXTyuwrKoQzBNUweHR7irnTHtmSKg9WwCLcB/s1600/lepage-512.jpg

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Another stable genius!

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        As a former resident of Maine, ( I was born and raised there) kick this sorry tea-bagging Koch sucker to the curb and don’t fall for the split party vote trick again!

      • phoenix00
    • IdiotsforPalin

      Just posted to DeadBreitbart……

    • therblig

      so, with no one left to write his speeches other than miller, can we assume they’ll just be streams of racial slurs?

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        That, or lists of where several missing young men’s bodies can be found.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Yeah, I think Donnie’s familiar with it Jeffrey.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/962144613195796480

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    Boston Globe did an article about Charles Johnson today. Maybe him being in the Trump DC Hotel got the attention of the BG’s reporters assigned to Washington. The dude went to Milton Academy, which is a really swanky private high school right outside of Boston.

    Douchebag extraordinaire, even in his high school days.

    https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/politics/2018/02/09/spurned-milton-race-baiting-troll-has-found-acceptance-trump/jk2YPROcjHz8OPLMrj3zFL/story.html#comments

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      On behalf of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I apologize for the presence of SMOTI. Also too, Elbridge Gerry. Really sorry about that one.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • chascates

      From the latest WashPo article:
      In a letter to the House Intelligence Committee, White House counsel
      Donald McGahn wrote that the Justice Department had identified portions
      of the Democrats’ memo that it believed “would create especially
      significant concerns for the national security and law enforcement
      interests” if disclosed. McGahn included in his note a letter from
      Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein and FBI Director Christopher
      A. Wray supporting that claim.

      • willi0000000

        you just know they will redact everything except 40% of the punctuation.

    • phoenix00

      If SOMEONE didn’t light the tirefire, noone would have to go put it out!

  • janecita

    I hate having all my wisdom teeth. I gag every time I brush my teeth:-(

    • Apple Scruff

      Mine weren’t impacted and I got them removed anyway because food got stuck back there. I’m so glad I did it.

    • calliecallie

      I have no wisdom teeth. This is true of many Asians. Not so much Irish. Makes my dentist wonder about me.

      But the thing about wisdom teeth, I’ve been told, is that when you get older, they provide something on which to anchor a bridge. So, mixed blessing, I guess.

      • janecita

        Dear Lord, I hope I never need one of those!

        • calliecallie

          You never know what is coming. Floss regularly, that’s my advice.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • HazooToo

    Pillow comes to life, attacks woman. https://imgur.com/gallery/RdmS3

    • IMPOed

      Too Cute!!

    • janecita

      So adorable:-)

  • Most Stable Land Shark
  • Mavenmaven

    I guess it is pretty clear now to everyone that Trump is guilty.

  • chascates

    From WashPo:
    President Trump will not immediately agree to release a Democratic memo
    rebutting GOP claims that the FBI abused its surveillance authority as
    it probed Russian meddling in the 2016 election, but he has directed the
    Justice Department to work with lawmakers so some form of the document
    could be made public, the White House counsel said Friday night.

    Also too: The abrupt departure of speechwriter David Sorensen comes after his
    former wife claimed that he was violent and emotionally abusive during
    their turbulent two-and-a-half-year marriage — allegations that he
    vehemently denied.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Did he forcefully deny the allegations? Like by holding them by the neck and holding a knife to them?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Strongly.

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          Ouch.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        No denial is forceful enough unless it is backed up by a burn from a red-hot cigarette.

    • phoenix00

      “You do it. I don’t wanna.”

  • Picabo

    “Remington is looking into filing for bankruptcy, unable to withstand ‘Trump slump'”
    “Indeed, this morning, Remington Outdoor disclosed a dramatic plunge in earnings for the third quarter of 2017. Adjusted EBITDA fell by 78% year-over-year to $7.4 million, on net sales of $154 million, down 30%.

    The “Trump Slump” in gun sales has had a punishing effect on the stocks of US-based firearms manufacturers. Publicly-traded Sturm Ruger & Co and American Outdoor Brands have shed 27% and 43% in market capitalization, respectively, since mid-June, as consumer urgency to stockpile has receded under the unified Republican-led administration and Congress.”
    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/2/9/1740127/-Remington-is-looking-into-filing-for-bankruptcy-unable-to-withstand-Trump-slump

    • Left Coast Tom

      Are there no more Winchester Mystery Houses to monetize?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I’ve got nothing against Remington, particularly. Ruger, however, is a dedicated NRA shill.

      • MC Planck

        That sucks so much, because they made very high quality products.

        • CripesAmighty

          Fuck em. Walther makes fine hardware (colt 1911 under license, for ex.) and doesn’t throw around billions to subvert democracy.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Bye Felicia.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Are there no more minorities to fear? No more women to intimidate?
      Somehow I feel like a slump I the ammo market is a good thing…but then I’m only a 3rd generation immigrant. On the bright side, I promise not to use my social security to enroll in Head Start.

  • Apple Scruff

    OMG the opening ceremonies… Kim Jong’s sister is sitting right behind our gay-hating VP and she looks like she wants to cut a bitch.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPOqrl3x2SkKjE3Is/giphy.gif

    • Left Coast Tom

      KCBS was reporting this morning that Pence refused to shake her hand. She and South Korean PM Moon seem to be getting along fine.

      This isn’t to minimize the reality of what North Korea is…but to note how badly the Trumpies are playing their hand.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Pence brought a special guest with him to piss off the North.

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          Mother?

          Or did he finally admit to his throbbing passion for Milo?

          • janecita

            The father of that kid that died in North Korea.

          • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

            I feel bad for the family. But who the hell lets their kid do a “missionary project” in a place like that? That whole scenario is a massive no-win clusterfuck…

          • janecita

            Bad judgment all around.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Pence’s guest, in fairness, represents the reality. The US should, actually, demand an accurate story of what happened to Otto Warmbier – his doctors in Cincinnati were clear that NK’s “botulism” explanation was utter bullshit (they’ve also called out bullshit from the family). But yes, they wouldn’t like that.

          Doesn’t change the point that the Trumpies are playing this very badly.

          • janecita

            I still don’t understand what that guy was doing in North Korea. His family irks the living hell out of me.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I distinguish family from him, in part because he can’t speak for himself. The family irks me as well, but then I can understand their position – they deserve an answer.

            Here’s my take, based partly on what I’ve read of travel to NK, partly on “related” stuff I’ve seen online, partly on pure speculation…

            First, North Korea is infamous for show trials and forced confessions of foreign prisoners. Frequently these confessions contain grains of truth around which wild stories are woven, sometimes there’s nothing at all behind them (the latter seems to be the case with Kenneth Bae, whose “problem” seems to have been unrelated to his conduct in the country). So, the stuff about a Korean church offering him a car to get a propaganda poster so they could…something…I don’t buy it for a second.

            I’m inclined to believe the family when they say the trip to NK wasn’t planned until he got to China – he was basically spending time backpacking around Asia.

            I’m inclined to believe NK that he went to the staff-only area (5th floor) of the Yanggakdo Hotel and tried to remove a propaganda poster – while noting that grainy, poor resolution video wouldn’t qualify as “evidence” in any real trial. I would also note that in normal places folks would just put the poster back up and move on.

            There are youtube videos, posted a few years ago, of some…let’s say “ugly american stereotypes”, in NK wandering through that staff-only floor – they demonstrate how to get there. The elevator has a button for floors 4…6…no 5. Press 4 and 6 together, and you get to 5. Again, in a normal country this would be a “who cares”, but this is North Korea. I strongly suspect the North Koreans were very pissed.

            I’m not inclined to believe that this was anything more than a 20 year old student trying to have fun, on New Years Eve, in a Stalinist country.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            I am not defending North Korea at all. But the South invited them to the olympics to try and start peace talks since Trump is determined to make things worse.And Trump and Pence said they wont recognize any peace treaty between those 2 countries already. All they want is a war and they are making a bad situation worse intentionally and going to get millions of people killed.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I think we agree, then.

      • Apple Scruff

        Right? They’re fucking it all up.

      • janecita

        They don’t know the meaning of diplomacy. Fucking clowns!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Jesus, another politico who doesn’t know how bad it looks not to exchange basic pleasantries with one’s opponent? What, does he think that will make NK think twice about getting nukes?

        Fuck him.

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          Hatred of those “not of our kind” is inbred and endemic to fundegelicals. Their belief in their own superiority to all “other” people is disgusting and unchristian. Fuckers.

    • calliecallie

      Have at it, girlfriend.

    • phoenix00

      You know Mother would not approve.

  • Johnatx

    I’m reposting this from earlier today. I’ve added some information.

    Hey, Wonketeers, especially those in Texas – Elaina Fowler is an awesome woman running in the Democratic primary race for Texas House District 47 (west side of Travis County). Elaina is currently serving as State Director for Texas Retirees with the AFSCME. In the past, she has worked as chief of staff for a representative in the Texas House, a policy aide to a former Austin Mayor Pro-Tem and on the Texas Commission for Children.

    She has received endorsements from many organizations in the Austin area, including Black Austin Democrats, National Woman’s Political Caucus of Greater Austin, the Employees Union of the Austin Independent School District, Stonewall Democrats of Austin, local labor unions and local Democratic Party groups, including Liberal Austin Democrats.

    The Democratic primary for HD 47 is crowded. Of the several candidates, Elaina is experienced and is the only one that offers concrete proposals to support public schools, protecting our water resources (a critical issue in HD 47), promoting the basic right of health care, and standing up for the rights and dignity of every Texan. doing volunteer work for her. She’s progressive, experienced and compassionate. I’m doing volunteer work for her. If you live near Austin, please consider volunteering for her campaign. If you have some Ameros to spare, throw some at her campaign, also too. Her campaign website is fowlerforTexas.com

    Panika (yes, that Panika) holds Elaina in high regard. For those of you that know Panika – her opinion of all things in Texas politics is be taken seriously.

    https://www.fowlerfortexas.com

  • data_ninja
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Upfist and a wave of my Terrible Towel for that one.

      • data_ninja

        “RIch history of coaches” is my favorite, followed closely by “Clearly never cheat”

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Here, here! (Though I am still pissed AF about that game. You know the one I mean.)

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Well, at least we won’t have Todd Haley to punt around any more.

      • therblig

        i can still hear myron cope talking about the “cleve brownies”

      • calliecallie

        Wait, what? That can’t be! FAKE NEWS!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The AFC North is almost entirely Browns.
        The runaway Browns (Balt)
        The AFL Paul Browns (Cin)
        The consolation prize expansion Browns (Cle)
        What can Antonio do for you?
        /smug

      • I remember them but then we had those stoopid raised finger thingies (Bills). I refuse to talk about Super Bowls. sigh

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Stop with the cheating shit

      • h4rr4r

        Why?
        They cheated, on more than one occasion. Belichick should have been banned from the NFL.

    • phoenix00

      Tell me about it. I’m watching my Canucks get their asses handed to them. Again.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Posting at DeadBreitbart is so much fun…….

    • janecita

      Are you at it again?

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Yes…..the replies are so stupid and laughable

        • IdiotsforPalin

          I posted this story: Utah taxpayers paid for hotel room disgraced state Rep used to meet prostitute
          Bob Brigham BOB BRIGHAM
          09 FEB 2018 AT 20:24 ET
          FlipboardFacebookTwitterLinkedInMore35

          Former Utah state Rep. Jon Stanard (R-St. George)
          DON’T MISS STORIES. FOLLOW RAW STORY!

          Taxpayers in Utah paid for two hotel stays by a Utah conservative that we allegedly used for an extramarital affair with a Salt Lake City escort, the Salt Lake Tribune reported Friday.

          Here was a reply: Longbow • 6 minutes ago
          Do you live in UTAH ?

          • The only points they (get) have is the tops of their heads.

          • Stable Uniomist Raan

            My reply to the reply would be “Who would willingly live in Utah?”

          • janecita

            Answer “Yes I was the hooker.”

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Please practice Safe Trolling™. Wash your hands, and do NOT bring any cooties back here. Thank you for your cooperation.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Will be delosing……..

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          And close the screen door! Don’t you let all the bugs in!

    • shivaskeeper

      Don’t bring them home with you. They are too tedious to counter-troll.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I couldn’t find your posts.
      looks like alot of libs troll them there.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Go here: Chief of Staff Gen. John Kelly Expressing Willingness to Resign Over Rob Porter Scandal

  • btwbfdimho
    • RobKanC

      The moral majority.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        They are neither.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Do turtles normally stare into oncoming headlights?

    • phoenix00

      Economic anxiety right here.

    • tehbaddr

      Birds of a feather…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Former Campbell County District Judge Timothy Nolan. Another innocent victim of underage girls. I’m sure he has gotten right with Gawd and deserves a moral mulligan.

  • Michael R

    Agents with the National Security Agency and CIA reportedly paid a Russian operative $100,000 for damaging intelligence on President Donald Trump after he took office in 2017.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d0ea76363fa80518b7276059fa3333735b44d9531a38ff0ebe1b178f02130e5.gif

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      . . .proving that there is a conspiracy among intelligence agents to hurt Trump.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      The NYT article seems to say that the Russians were hoping to plant something that could later be used to undermine the investigation. Devious fuckers…

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Long sighted devious fuckers.

        • shivaskeeper

          Basic spycraft. Planting fake info is one of the most basic things you can do. All the fake shit needs to be looked at just as hard as the real shit. Make your adversary waste the time and resources chasing things down rabbit holes to nowhere.

          As an added bonus this could have been used to try to discredit the entire US IC in the eyes of the public in one go.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            You seem to know a lot about this…can you speak into my mic, erm, I mean my microphone. .. Shit, let’s just sing karaoke (and record our top sekrit conversation?)!

      • Michael R

        I saw Egg McMuffin Evan McMullin
        say something about that already

    • Alrighty then. This should be verry interesting.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      WHo the fuck writes these shitty NY Times headlines?

    • tehbaddr

      I miss that bit. And it sure was something!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Larry “Bud” Melman or GTFO!!

    • paxpax

      GRINDER GIRL!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • yyyaz

      Grampa “Cornpants” Grassley only has one side, and it ain’t pretty.

  • Apple Scruff

    I’m waiting for reports that Stephen Miller is resigning due to domestic abuse allegations. But lord knows he’s never been with 10 feet of ever getting laid.

    • Crank Tango

      Dead hookers tell no tales.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Not true. Forensics.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          I’m sure he has an industrial supply of acid somewhere to fix that.

          • Crank Tango

            Lol yeah he seems the type to have several drums going.

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      Can a couch and a plastic bag full of Jello allege rape?

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      I hear that someone allegedly placed a recorder in Steve’s girlfriend …

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f384c7ff06dad6e621c260bcc26b0e0522c8251b597c81301a80b15bea3edec0.jpg

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He seems like exactly the kind of thing that would hide in the closet when his roommate brings his girlfriend back to their dorm room.

      • CripesAmighty

        Anybody checked his basement lately?

  • Most Stable Land Shark
  • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

    OT: Our man in Ottawa just told FSBook to get their shit together or face the consequences.

    Trudeau to Facebook: Fix your fake news problem… or else

    Size of JT’s Timbits compared to Donnie’s (and Zuck’s), adjusted for metric scale:

    https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/7/72/DeathStar1-SWE.png

  • thepoliticalcat

    I had to work to earn THIS?

  • IMPOed

    Rachel: Republican memo created to get rid of Rosenstein,
    Dumbfuck wants to fire Sessions, (already neutered in the Russian investigation) Rosenstein, Brand, #4 is another Bork………….. CLEANING HOUSE!!

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      And every person who leaves or is fired is a prime Mueller witness.

  • Cletus Safari

    Until tonight, I did not know that, back in the day, Stevie Wonder performed “Superstition” on Sesame Street.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul7X5js1vE

    • alpacapunchbowl

      This is one my favorite videos ever!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Check out Sesame Street on IMBD. You will be amazed.
      Then check out “The Electric Company”
      And then ” Peewee’s Playhouse”

      Children’s TV is a great place to start a career.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      And this is why we need and love(d) PBS. There’s a joke that, in its early days, Sesame Street was brought to you by the letters LSD. They’ve had some stellar talent and really trippy segments on there. Philip Glass’ “Geometry of Circles” is a sensory experience on its own. If you’re high, it’s even more intense.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D–qSD01VRA

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • willi0000000

      it’s true . . . you can see right through him.

  • NATOist

    Kim Jong Un’s sister looks like a damned sociopath. That face has less emotion than even Putin’s in 2014.

  • Well, if government work doesn’t pan out, you can always go to work for Walmart.

    Rachel Brand, the Justice Department’s third-ranking official, is stepping down to take a job in the private sector.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Yeah…abandoning a chance to become AG so you can shill for some corporation?

      I get that she’s a Republican (probably) but this doesn’t pass the smell test IMHO.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Definitely a Republican. Heritage Fellow. Lawyer for W during the recount. Rode herd on the Roberts and Alito confirmations. Big fan of violating the Fourth Amendment if the NSA has a Really Good Reason . . .

      • IMPOed

        Got an offer she couldn’t refuse…….

      • shivaskeeper

        You can always make more money in the private sector vice government sector. Plus anyone how stays with this Admin until the end is tainted.

        The exceptions are assuming Rosenstein stays, he should be OK because of his role in protecting Mueller. Anyone else in a similar situation should be as well.

        Anyone who is a DJT appointee but is not in the news? Tainted, From now until they die they are tainted. They know it. Any future prospective employers know it.

      • Tetman Callis

        Ship’s sinking. Lifeboat time.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Less stress and less crazy people around.

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      Wasn’t she in another position?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Jacob DiCiaula

    Spouse and I are now arguing about whether Hope Hicks is entirely cynical in choosing abusive men who advance her career (her take) or just makes poor dating choices (mine). I blame Obama for not putting folks in his administration who could inspire such debate

    • Maybe she’s into pain?

      • Parakeetist

        Nobody is that much into it.

      • yyyaz

        Ooohh, I dated a woman like that. Being the wussy cuck I am, she got dropped as soon as I realized wtf her problem was.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Kink =/= abuse

    • Anna Rompage

      Abusove men who advance her career…

      Abusive daddy complex

      She’s the Tomi Larhen of the Trimp admin

    • MC Planck

      AOT, K. Abusive men are the only choices she has; why wouldn’t she pick the ones who help her career?

    • shivaskeeper

      A little from column A, a little from column B.

    • janecita

      Or bear with me, maybe she is just banging Trump and these guys are her beard.

    • phoenix00

      Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

    • Gosala

      My take is that Ms. Hicks is so acculturated to an environment of “powerful men take what they want” that she thinks it’s not just normal but a sign that this is a man you want to hitch your wagon to.

      But, I could be very, indeed tragically, wrong. There was an interview on NPR this evening with a woman with experience who said that domestic abuse is triggered by intimacy and affection. She also said that her ex was every inch the gentleman for the first few years.

      If she’s right, I am very, very wrong.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Maybe go read Rebecca’s post from earlier today.

    • HazooToo

      Abusive men can be charming as fuck, and you wouldn’t know until it was too late. Men who know damn well what he did are certainly not going to warn you before you start dating him. And even if they did, abusers are often very good at playing the Crazy Psycho Bitch Ex card. Blame Porter. That is all.

  • MC Planck

    Congressman Will Hurd of Texas has an article in the Atlantic called “Russia is our adversary.” He bemoans the loss of transparency, trust, and bipartisanship in government.

    And never once mentions Trump’s name. Its as if the Russians caused all those things.

    I tried to email him but he only accepts emails from his own constituents. Now that’s some “working together” for you.

    I couldn’t even bitch to the Atlantic, because they turned off comments and their Letters to the Editor page thinks I’m a spammer (probably because I’m in Oz). Ugh.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      ” they turned off comments ”

      They’ve been lurking at Wonkette, eh?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Most Stable Land Shark

      I am not one to comment on how a woman decides to present herself in public, but … isn’t that a bit too much makeup? I mean, that look is sort of plastic …

      • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

        “Dress for the job you want” kind of, um…never mind.

        • Stinky_Hole

          I’ve never seen a photo of her before. I’m getting a ‘dominatrix’ vibe from this one.

          • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

            I’m getting “I’d rather be clubbing.”

          • Stinky_Hole

            And now that I’ve googled images, she also has an Egg Romney look about her as well.
            Sometimes she almost appears pretty (I’m guessing at the photographer’s prompting) – but more often she looks predatory, like Melania does in most of hers.

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          yeah … doesn’t work. I don’t think this is the job she expected or the one her rich, white republican parents arranged for her …

      • therblig

        if i were a woman working in that white house, i’d scotchguard myself too.

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          It would take more than Scotchgard to protect her from the taint.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            New Invention: TaintGard™

            Patent pending.

      • Covering up bruises?

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          I hope not. That is not something I’d wish on anyone.

      • janecita

        She used to be a model, she still cakes on the makeup.

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          Didn’t know that, but it definitely fits.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          That being said, she’s probably going the “safe” route and doing her makeup for bright media/paparazzi lighting.

          I’ve done pageants, and the biggest mistake is assuming that “normal” make up will look nice under bright entertainment-strength lighting. You’ll look like you just rolled out of bed (and that’s not a good look). So you slather it on, and look “normal-ish” under bright lights, but up-close and under normal lighting, you look like a drag queen.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        She goes raccoon eyes and gots a strong eyebrow game.

      • Covfefe

        That’s the way Donald likes them.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Msgr_MΩment

      I thought Hope was the thing with feathers.

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      Sounds like she talked to Mueller and showed him the email.

  • Most Stable Land Shark

    Mr Mueller? It’s time, sir … it’s time.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yo, Big Apple Wonkers? Check this out:

    https://twitter.com/Team4NC/status/962126211349610507

    • IMPOed

      “Blue Map”!!

  • therblig
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    JFC, the details from WaPo about the other TrumpPenceZee who resigned due to domestic violence are awful (skip this if eating):

    Corbett first contacted The Post a week before Porter’s case became public. She said that during her marriage to Sorensen, he ran a car over her foot, put out a cigarette on her hand, threw her into a wall and grasped her menacingly by her hair while they were alone on their boat in remote waters off Maine’s coast, an incident she said left her fearing for her life. During part of their marriage, he was a top policy adviser to Republican Maine Gov. Paul LePage.

    She said she did not report her abuse allegations to police because of Sorensen’s connections to law enforcement officials…

    Two friends and associates of Corbett said she confided in them during the marriage that her husband was abusive. Corbett also provided records of text messages and emails in which Sorensen berated her with vulgar language and she discussed the deteriorating marriage with others. She gave The Post a photo of her hand bearing a scar she said was from the cigarette burn.

    Jesus. Just Jesus…

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Do they just have a Rolodex of these slimeballs somewhere?

      • Beautiful Soup

        Binders full of beaters.

      • Amy!

        No can do. There is a “Non-Shitty Men in Politics” list, though.

        The difference? Only one of these lists is finite.

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          I take it the non-shitty men list fits on a 3×5 index card.

      • lucidamente

        Binders full of them!

    • CripesAmighty

      Paul LePage. Quelle surprise.

    • calliecallie

      Really, right? Domestic violence is still a crime, right? Jeebus fucking Christ. And also too he used to work for LePage. Of course he did.

      THIS IS SO INFURIATING. I know most of you men are good people, not these guys, but HONEST TO FUCKING GOD I AM READY TO BURN THE PLACE DOWN except for not my husband or son. Or brother. And none of them are without sin, but…You think you guys are conflicted, guess what, most of us women are conflicted also too.

      BUT I AM SO GLAD THIS SHIT STAYS IN THE NEWS as uncomfortable for so many of you as I know it is, I still think it is WAY FUCKING OVERDUE!

      • Gosala

        Not conflicted. This is way overdue and (OK liberal guilt) every man* should examine his actions, his words, and his thoughts for any sign of abuse or wrong headed assumptions of male privilege, and then burn them out of his consciousness with the fury of ten thousand novas. (No, not liberal guilt: basic morality)

        *There seems to be some confusion on Wonkette about my gender. Let me be unequivocal: I am cismale and (mostly) straight. OK?

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          OK. I’m thinking, though, maybe it’s the -a ending of the username why the confusion?

          • Gosala

            Well, that’s Eurocentric! “Gosala” is a good Hindu, masculine name. See also Shiva, Brahma, Rama, Ashoka, Ramna, Avalokiteshvara.

            To say nothing of honorific titles like Mahavira, Mahatma, Buddha, Tathagata.

            And Jewish names like Joshua, or recently popular names like Dakota.

      • IMPOed

        Are you confusing that block quote as RFCs?

      • Most Stable Land Shark

        I hate these slimeballs, too. I hate anyone who treats ANYONE like shit … physical abuse, emotional abuse … men, women … they all are fucking scum. Every. single. one.

        And I dare any of these assholes to get near to anyone I love. I will forget all that “mercy” stuff the nuns taught me.

    • What Pierre said

      They want vulgar language? I can give them vulgar language about this – fuck that fucking limp-dicked, wife beating, motherfucking motherfucker with the legendary garden weasel of votes.
      Fucking scrotum-faced motherfucker

      • Gosala

        * reaches for smelling salts *

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          And the pearls.

    • Gosala

      Well, I do declare.

      No, seriously, if this spate of wife abuse stories is a consequence of #metoo and has the same kind of cathartic effect, then, sickening as it is, it is something we should welcome and, well not celebrate, but embrace.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Scentsy sucks. Wifey is soft-hearted, and feels like if she doesn’t buy two packages of Wassail Wonderland, a poor single mother is going to starve. Who pays the price? Me. The guy who has to smell that shit in February. That’s who.

    • LosFelizGuy

      No likey spicey sweet candles. Nope. Nope. Nope.

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      That’s a small price to pay for fresh air Uncle.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Opening a window is free.

    • Shanzgood (19 Days!)

      All that stuff gives me a wretched headache.

  • Picabo
    • Most Stable Land Shark

      gets flashlight, checks pitchforks and torches … where’d my lighter go?

      • Gosala

        Vive le quatorze juillet

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Are we planning for the big “parade”??!!? I guess it’s a welcome addition to our Librul Festivities calendar!

        • Crank Tango

          Ou bien février, pourquoi pas ?

          • Gosala

            Why not? The spirit of liberty knows no season. Rebellion against tyranny depends upon no calendar. Every day in the defense of the Republic is the 14th of July!

            ¡Sic Semper Trumpueris!

    • HazooToo

      That Louise Mensch person is trying to say that Brand resigned to go to Mueller, but I don’t believe her. She’s kind of fucking crazy.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        IDK the details but there is a lot of scuttlebutt about her on Twitter. Something to the effect that she tends to over-promise…which is something this idea suggests may be true.

        • HazooToo

          She makes a ton of wild claims with no proof, ever, AND she’s got a trained attack squad that will harass her enemies and has threatened to (and succeeded once) dox people who disagree with her.

      • shivaskeeper

        Mensch lies. A lot. You are right to not trust her assessment of anything. Ever. If she told me the sky was blue, I would go and check js to make sure it wasn’t green today. When it turned out to actually be blue, she would use that as the reason I should trust her about everything with no questions.

        Donnie was on house arrest and about to be impeached by the SCOTUS according to her at one point. When called on it, she attacked the people challenging the utter bullshit of her statements, sent he flying money brigade after them,

        • HazooToo

          I saw it happen. She’s driven at least two people who tried to intervene off of Twitter, one of them after doxxing her. She also has some interesting history with Milo Whateverthefuck.

  • therblig
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jacob DiCiaula

      There’s a reason the law should provide a presumpton that bitches are lying. Wealthy white men have suffered enough

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    ESPN gets a little clickbait-y with the headline

    Shani Davis skips opening ceremony after losing coin toss

    Except…in the second paragraph it states he wasn’t planning on going anyway. He only considered going once he was nominated to be the flag bearer. His plan was always to use the time during the Opening Ceremony to practice.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Pull the other one, it plays music. Seriously, does anyone actually believe this horseshit?

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/962156822168850435

    • HazooToo

      Bullshit.

    • Crank Tango

      Something something all look alike?

      • IMPOed

        An asshole doesn’t fall far from the asshole?

        • AuntyMaude

          How about a dumb shit doesn’t fall far from the asshole?

          • IMPOed

            So many possibilities, so little tome.. ;>)

    • 42nd Parllel

      He was trying to snub the Spaniards and the North Koreans got caught in the crossfire.

      • wait! what?

        Heds all about the crossfire sluricane.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          He’s junky jerk flush.

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Lose the fucking jackets, too, loser.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Good to know some things cross cultural and linguistic lines:

    https://twitter.com/KaniJJackson/status/962152217443815424

    • gallbladder

      I myself prefer not to look at Mike Pence.

    • IMPOed

      I wish she would have given him rabbit ears, or better yet, flipped him off……

      WHO DOES PHOTOSHOP?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I’m pretty certain Mike Pence smells like a combination of a rest home hallway and stale laundry.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        And Depends

        • Most Stable Land Shark

          and Ben Gay.

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?