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Deputy White House press secretary Raj Shah took over the daily press briefing duties for Sarah Huckabee Sanders Thursday, and it was something of a milestone: It was the first White House press briefing delivered by an Indian-American, so welcome to the record books, Mr. Shah. It was also the most embarrassing press briefing by an Indian-American, but we bet he’ll get plenty of chances to top himself. How badly did it go? Badly enough that even top media equivocator Chris Cillizza called it “disastrous.” Still, there were some good things about it: For starters, in a rare departure for a White House where no one ever admits to errors, Shah at least said, “I think it’s fair to say we all could have done better dealing with this over the last few days.” Unclear yet how many times he’ll have to write on the chalkboard “WE NEVER MAKE MISTAKES. YOU ARE FAKE NEWS.”

For another thing, he made a nice snack for the assembled reporters. Once he finally showed up, at least. The press briefing was delayed, and delayed, and… CNN’s chyron started getting pissy about it:

Once Shah finally came out, things went weird right from his opening statement, with the bizarre claim that the White House had no choice but to keep serial wife-beater Rob Porter on as staff secretary (a higher position than it sounds, because, you see, he’s a man secretary, not the lady kind), even though the background check for his security clearance turned up the allegations of spousal abuse. You see, it was a long time ago, and also he denied it, so how could they step in before the FBI background check process was completed and a determination made?

Huh. For a hiring decision involving a high-level White House staffer, we’re pretty sure they really could have let him go if that was holding up his security clearance, even if the accusations didn’t meet the same standard as a jury trial. This is the same White House that told us a few million times Donald Trump was entitled to fire James Comey for any reason — or no reason at all. Fairly sure the staff secretary doesn’t have more protection from firing than the FBI director. Once Shah got through that bit of nonsense (during which he also misused “fulsome” twice, as if it meant “complete,” and no it does not mean that, everyone stop it!), it was time for the press corps feeding frenzy.

You see, John Kelly was only defending the honorable guy that he knew (and who couldn’t get a security clearance because of the whole wife-beating thing). Then, only yesterday, Kelly became “fully aware” of just how actually bad wife-beating is (Translation: at least once people started making a stink about the photos).


Of course, that’s now been undercut by a report late Thursday at HuffPo that says Porter just flat out failed to qualify for a security clearance and Kelly decided to keep him on anyway:

a Republican close to the White House […] said Kelly received word last fall that Porter had failed his security clearance investigation because of the domestic abuse reports. Porter at that time told Kelly he would leave the White House in December but agreed to stay at Kelly’s urging, the Republican said on condition of anonymity.

Another weird moment came when Shah said Porter had been “terminated,” then immediately turned around and said, without any indication that he’d misspoken, that Porter had resigned:


We’re not sure this is worth getting too excited about, because really, fired, quit — in this administration, no one ever really seems to be clear on that. Why does anything happen in this mixed up crazy world, and how can we know what is even real?

Then there was this WTF moment:

Again, we won’t claim to be experts on investigative procedure, but we’ll go out on a limb and say we doubt a denial always has the same level of credibility as, say, police reports and a judge granting a protection order. Or did Porter have a photograph of his denial, perhaps?

Along the way, Shah didn’t exactly deny reports that Hope Hicks, who’s said to be dating Rob Porter, had helped draft Kelly’s statement praising Porter as “a man of true integrity and honor,” saying only that all of the White House statements supporting Porter were drafted by multiple officials — but that Hicks “did recuse herself from some matters” involving Porter. Because now Hope Hicks is the Attorney General or something. (But was it a fulsome recusal?)

One of the best — but alas, completely unanswered — questions came from Noah Bierman of the LA Times, following up on John Kelly being “shocked” only when he became “fully aware” of what domestic abuse looks like:

What about women who don’t have photographs? Do you trust their stories? Because a lot of times […] Sarah’s said that allegations weren’t credible from other people. Do you need a photograph, and how should women feel if they don’t have a photograph?

Damn good question! Unfortunately, Shah sidestepped completely: “I don’t think any standard applies — I just think that — we do take allegations of misconduct, of domestic violence, other issues like that, very seriously.” Then he repeated that the White House was relying on the investigative process to be completed, which in this case it wasn’t before Porter was forced out. Which is of course complete deflection, but it does at least confirm one thing: This White House has no standards.

Also, Shah gave a dumb scripted answer — “witty” doesn’t work when everyone sees you opening a page in your briefing book — to a question about Omarosa, which you can read about elsewhere because come on, really, with everything happening at the moment, someone asked about Omarosa? Forget it.

Welcome to the podium, Mr. Shah; you definitely have the potential to worm out of answering questions as well as your boss does. Nicely weaseled, and how on earth do you live with yourself anyway?

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[CNN / HuffPo]

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  • Maybe they figure having Porter continue without a security clearance was fine, since it’s not like they were going to be passing actual classified information through him to Trump, just some minimal pablum to let Trump pretend to be “Presidential”.

    • GoutMachine

      Yeah, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because the “president” will just pass said classified intel along to the Russians.

  • John McLaughlin

    Don’t forget that it is Trump, the big cheese, who is the biggest criminal in the room. Abuses women, conspires against democracy, launders Russian oligarch money, and obstructs justice. When does he get his walking papers?

    • ArgieBargie

      The security clearance servers blew the fuck up when they tried to run his name through the system.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    “All the best people”

  • SadDemInTex

    Where was Pootlips?

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      The reason it was delayed is she was trying to look presentable and they finally gave up and sent in the “B” team…..

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      She ran out of time to find a new woman to kill, skin, and wear as a mask.

      • Clark_Nova

        And the time to find 3 bushels of cockroaches to fill said skin with.

  • ArgieBargie

    It’s almost as if no qualified, self-respecting person would ever want to work for this administration.

    Especially if you are a minority.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      He is probably Brahman which means he doesn’t see himself as a lowly minority…..

      • ArgieBargie

        Silly, Raj. We’ve got a different caste system in America!

        • ((( Augustus )))

          yeah, and dudes named “Raj Shah” are untouchables

          or in this case, disposable political pawns

      • little miss high and mighty

        Reporters are all Dalits.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Sarah has assigned Shah to four weeks of intensive snarling lessons after that weaksad performance.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    So his use of fulsome was not cromulent?

  • Problem was Trump kept adding ‘of Iran’ to his last name…

    • Bobathonic

      Reza Pahlavi libelz!

      • Clark_Nova

        Not sure that’s even possible (to libel HIM).

  • Indiepalin

    Because Sarah Sanders got her head stuck in the drive-up window at Burger King.

    • Me_And_My_Arrow

      I heard she choked on a squirrel bone.

      • which she got from BK

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Cooking skwerls!

          Well I’m off to Burger King. Give my wife my love and don’t eat the children.

          Skewrlverines!

          https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/577422417498345472/ybERHY2g.png

        • Me not sure

          As long as the Whoppers keep comin’ her head ain’t leavin’ that window.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          I can assure you that DC area Burger Kings do not serve squirrel. You have to go to Arkansas for that. Also, the options are better at Sonic.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Peckerwood libelz!!111!

      • Clark_Nova

        Maybe she got mad squirrel disease from eating “drunken” squirrels (the ones her brothers can catch by hand).

        Yes, this is a real thing down in Dixie.

  • Resistor Radio

    Okay, but it’s proper to say “fulsome erection,” right? As in, “the thought of your grandmother eating cat food gives Paul Ryan a fulsome erection.” Seems to fit with Dictionary’s second definition, but please correct me if I’m wrong. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8edae3aab8ba240c35e0cc854de94ca58accacf3b7d44643c5ab185917891916.jpg

    • GoutMachine

      I’ll allow it.

  • GoutMachine

    Mr. Shah, if you took “allegations of misconduct, of domestic violence, other issues like that, very seriously,” the West Wing wouldn’t have any employees.

  • Me_And_My_Arrow

    Is the WH running out of people that are good at being lying shitweasels after only a year? Sad!

    • Tony Prost

      Trump ran out of people he knows about six months ago.

    • Look, it takes time to get Russian spies through immigration, set up their covers, and then into the administration. The backlog is horrible.

    • Clark_Nova

      I doubt it. They have a third of the country to recruit more of them from.

  • Gigglesnort

    Apparently Omarosa was recently on TV trash-talking Trump and saying she would never vote for him again “in a million years.” Which is probably why she was being asked about. The real question IMO though is, why did she ever have a White House job?

    • kareemachan

      Cuz she’s a twunt.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Concise… but fair.

    • Treg Brown

      Let’s not forget who she really is.

      “Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump. It’s everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, who ever disagreed, who ever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe.” – Omarosa Manigault (Sept 2016)

      https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/omarosa-bown-to-president-trump_us_57e47e34e4b0e80b1ba15296

      Fuck Her.

      • Clark_Nova

        With a cactus branch.

    • Clark_Nova

      And did she have a clearance?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    ‘Raj Shah’? Which translates as ‘King King’. You just know he’s been set up for a fall, and by his parents.

  • anon_the_great

    I only listened to Shaw’s first shot with no training wheels. He sounds a hell of a lot like Sean Spicer. (PBUH) The same high pitched, nasal squeal of self esteem sublimating into flop sweat

    • Katamount

      Is it that hard to find a deep baritone voice to make these briefings sound a tad more serious, even if they are nonsense and lies?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Sarah Huckabee Sanders has the day off.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      This is what is sounds like when weasels cry.

      • John Robinson

        There’s a reason Prince changed the line.

  • Katamount

    I miss competence in public service. Competence was nice.

    • MynameisBlarney

      And diplomacy.
      Remember when that was a thing?

      • anon_the_great

        FUCK YOU BENGAZZ!!!!21!11!1

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          If not Benghazi it would have been some other shit.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Some of us just miss public service.

    • GoutMachine

      Yesterday I watched Letterman’s interview with Obama on Letterman’s new Netflix show. It’s a great watch, but also … goddammit I miss Obama so very much.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Remember how Hillary was “over-prepared” for the debates? Yeah, I wish we had some of that now.

      • Nockular cavity

        And how Obama was such a Professor type? President Spock? Gosh, that was terrible, right?

    • folderol

      I would settle for cold indifference. Right now we have calculated malevolence.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        yeah but it’s calculated by people with no knowledge or understanding of how reality works, so they frequently miss the mark badly

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “COMPETENCE” IS FOR LIBTARD GLOBALIST ELITIST CUCKS!!1!!1!!
      #MAGA

    • FeloniousMonk

      TELEPROMPTRZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I thought Fulsome was where Johnny Cash recorded that live album.

  • goonemeritus

    How is the Whitehouse investigation into the sexual abuse claims leveled against Donald Trump going?

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it’s going great

    • Stulexington

      About as well as can be expected.

  • Reminds me…every person in this pic that served in tRumps admin has been Fired… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9567462334d96061f9e1df2abeea59a786a0685cbeae9065fcbec0bda476bcc5.png

    • GoutMachine

      Christ, they look so fucking douchey. It’s like they’re making a low-budget, high school movie version of Reservoir Dogs.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Or, ironically, a reality TV show about would-be businesspeople who, lacking the skills that actually successful businesspeople have, compete to be an assistant of some kind to a more prominent businessperson, to learn by his or her side, as it were. A businessperson who, if he or she actually had something to teach about business success, he or she would be too busy to be on a realty TV show.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          A show like that would never get commissioned. The American people would never accept fakery on a such a scale.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          I liked the season where they pitted “book smarts” vs. “street smarts” and book smarts won by a mile.

      • Crank Tango

        Ah yes there it is…oops!

    • Timothy Watson

      Who’s blue tie in the back?

      • puredog

        That’s Porter.

        • GoutMachine

          I think you misspelled Wifebeater.

    • Peter Witting

      “Fulsome” in both definitions below applies to a few things in this photography

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Oceans 1/11

    • kareemachan

      Red shoes with WAY too tight dress? You twunt.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        so trashy lookin’

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Which one?

    • OutOfOrbit

      devil in the blue dress workin’ it!

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      If you use their first name initials they spell ORCAS.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Has potential as a Reno 911-style parody of the Navy Seals. With this cast.

    • Crank Tango

      Reservoir dookies

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And hopefully the dress has been burnt. It pains me in my eyeballs.

    • schmannity

      Trump’s Chumps

    • Nockular cavity

      The So-Punchables.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Deplorables on Parade.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Again, the fuck did you expect? It’s literally 8 more seasons of his dumbass show. If you positively reinforce him for firing people in the most obnoxious way possible, what the fuck do you think he will keep doing?

    • FeloniousMonk

      Nah, Lewandowski never made it to the administration. He was just one of the least-indictable campaign managers, before getting fired.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Cue “Yakkity Sax”

  • Proud Liberal

    I don’t know if anybody has noticed but our country is in deep shit.

    • OutOfOrbit

      we’re all treading turds

    • proudgrampa

      No kidding.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Uh Uh-Since when?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Poster Boy for Broder’s Disease.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    See what happens when you hire immigrants?

    /s

  • La forza del resistino

    How does a Raj Shah get a job in this WH? Did he have to convert and take Presbyterian communion?

    • PubOption

      Raj said that Donnie was untouchable. Donnie thought that Raj was talking about the Mueller investigation.

      • La forza del resistino

        99.9% of women concur with Raj on untouchability.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Every allegation has to be investigated? Well then let me fire up my allegation bot and get to tweetin’ about Twitler!

    • John Thorstensen

      “I DENY the allegation, and I DEPLORE the alligator!”

      • bupkus231

        Sounds like Louie – but needs more asparagus to cast aspersions on….

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Hate the allegation, love the alligator.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Fulsome Prison Blues.

    • Resistor Radio

      Yessss!

    • proudgrampa

      Well played!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I liked it the first time he used it, hmm, I thought, there’s a word you don’t hear everyday, but then he stumbled reading his statement and said it again. Silly, Raj.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hot damn. They were a match made in hell: lmao
    When you’ve lost the Big O’!

    Omarosa: “You will all bow down to Trump.” (Sept. 23, 2016)

    ~gets her ass canned~

    Omarosa: “I would never vote for Trump again. He’s a disaster. Everyone in the West Wing knows he’s incompetent and clueless.”

    What it’s like just watching these depraved and evil ‘sons of bitches’ on a daily basis.

    http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/laughing-gifs-evil-dead2.gif

    • theblackdog

      Omarosa, we’ve been saying for years he was terrible but you refused to listen. Enjoy the scent of gasoline and soot from all the bridges you burned in the process.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      I’m still waiting for the day my dad starts a conversation with “Can you believe Trump…?”

      But that day will never come because he knows I will respond with “Yes I can believe it, that’s why I didn’t vote for him, you dumbass.”

  • Scooby

    Why would Hicks want to date a known wife beater and asshole?

    • Resistor Radio

      Because he’s the president?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Heeeeeyoooo!

        LAWLZ!

        • Resistor Radio

          Yay!!!! I love a good Heeyooo! And especially proud to have earned one! :)

    • ((( Augustus )))

      because she has the Stockholm Syndrome

  • ArgieBargie

    You know who else would never pass a security clearance?

    Donald J. Trump.

    Unfortunately for us, it’s not required for the job.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i knowwwwwwww!

    • GoutMachine

      Not to mention the question of whether he’d be able to pass the Air Force’s evaluation to be anywhere near a nuclear weapon.

      NYT

    • proudgrampa

      That really should be a requirement for the presidency.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Let me know if this becomes a thing, because if it does I’ll have to shut down my exploratory committee.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Who are you exploring now?

          • Marva

            Gℴℴgle is giving me 97 US dollars/hr to complete easy jobs staying at home .. Work Some just few hours daily & spend more time together with your relatives … Any person can get this super career!!!this Sunday I purchased a gorgeous Chrysler after I been earnin $7934 past five weeks .no doubt it is my favourite-work however you wo’nt forgive yourself if you don’t go to this.!jx721b:∫∫∫∫ http://GoogleBuyOnlineJobsAtHome/get/97$/eachhour ♥♥♥k♥♥q♥y♥♥♥p♥f♥♥♥t♥♥♥o♥y♥i♥♥m♥♥♥w♥♥♥l♥y♥l♥♥g♥♥a♥♥b♥g♥♥♥p♥♥♥w♥♥♥e♥♥q♥♥♥o♥♥♥g♥f:::::!ex152i:lhuh

          • Linda

            Google pays me 99 US dollars per hour to complete some internet services on the internet .. Labor Some few hours & live happy greater time with your circle of relatives … Any person can also apply this best career!!!this Thursday I bought a gorgeous Car just after earnin $7919 this last five weeks .it’s certainly the extraordinary approach but you can now not forgive yourself if you don’t look this.!qh783p:>>>> http://GoogleGoodWorkFromHomeOpportunities/make/$97/per-hr ♥♥a♥♥♥o♥a♥♥♥s♥♥p♥♥♥e♥♥b♥♥♥i♥♥t♥f♥♥♥t♥♥e♥♥♥c♥♥k♥♥s♥♥y♥♥♥r♥♥z♥♥♥p♥x♥♥♥w♥♥♥r♥♥♥u♥♥t♥u:::::!pg382c:wky

      • ArgieBargie

        You’d think the guy with the nuclear codes would have to at least take a urine test.

        And no, I don’t mean pee hookers.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Choosy Urolagnists choose Russian

        • Opalescent Riddles

          He doesn’t have the attention span to study for any test, including this one.

      • But it was a wingnut meme in 2008 that Barry O couldn’t have got a security clearance, because palling around with Bill Ayers…

    • Tony Prost

      duriong the campaign DOD refused to brief him

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Rick Prose

    I’m amazed that no one has noticed that Raj Shah is actually Sarah Hucklebuck Panders in brown-face man-drag. Same build, same poot lips, same weird eye… Someone needs to point this out and let them know they can’t get away with this travesty.

  • Anna Rompage

    I have a feeling Donad is going to move on Hope like a bitch in 5….. 4…… 3….. 2….. 1…..

    It’s just a matter of time before Hope becomes the 4th Mrs Donad J Trump….

    • theblackdog

      Oh I’m sure they’ve actually been banging for a while and Mr. DV was just a cover BF

  • La forza del resistino

    I like Raj. Unlike Poot Lips, you can look him in both eyes w/o putting your neck into painful distortions.

  • lucidamente

    Ladies and gentlemen, the Shah of Iran a Shitty Press Briefing.

  • Crystalclear12

    So there is some shit even Sister Sarah won’t shovel, who knew?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Sister Sarah Sanders shovels shit on the pee whores…

    • Anna Rompage

      My guess is that Donad ate a bad Filet-O-Fish the day before, and needed her as his toilette attendant for much longer than normal…

      • Hemp Dogbane

        Someone’s gotta hold his hair.

  • theblackdog

    When we started letting corporations get away with the “We’re taking this seriously” excuse, of course it would become the standard for this regime to use.

    • Paperless Tiger

      That’s the company line. Consistency limits ‘flexibility’. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

      • Fun with Cthulhu

        Great Beast libel.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Elon Musk has come a long way from his first design for an electric car, hasn’t he?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.
        Gotta start somewhere though.

      • Cogswell that ends well

        Cranking that thing up to charge the battery is a motherfucker, though.

  • Me not sure

    The only reason that they put the rookie into the meat grinder was to avoid having to have a woman defend all of this shit. Even with the poor performance it is overall the best move they have made in a while.

    • Donna Mueller

      …the best MOVIE they have made in a while. LOLOL, thanx for the laugh!!!!

      • Me not sure

        It pains me to think that a random auto-correct might have made that funny.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Phoenixdoglover

      Ten bucks on the dog.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        What does that come to in quatloos?

        • MynameisBlarney

          A buck fitty?

          • ((( Augustus )))

            I’m going to take that dog to Costco and spend all my extra monies on beers and fried potato crisps and maybe a nickel odeon

  • schmannity

    What’s the matter with his eyes–they appear to be equal in size.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      It’s an optical illusion.

    • Cogswell that ends well

      And level with each other.

  • TJ Barke

    Only the best people…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There is no one on the White House staff appointed after 19 January 2017 who is competent or honest.

    No one.

    • bupkus231

      And you have to wonder about any carry-overs from the Obama admin – What? They couldn’t see this coming?

    • this is really just the thing isn’t it?

      the simplest easiest summary of the trump years. because i can’t remember it all.

      may it end soon.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If Raj Shah’s not careful he might accidentally disseminate information. It must be fun being a WH press corps reporter and breaking in a n00b and watching them come to the realization — especially in this administration — of exactly how much they need to lie in order to get through a briefing.

  • Cogswell that ends well

    I can imagine the dilemma this mis-admin had in picking a new press secretary after spicer.

    Woman, brown guy, woman, brown guy. Woman. Because she’s white, but only because she’s white.

  • Tennessee Rain Genius

    Why is it that every time a republican is accused of wrong doing, it’s “ancient history,” and yet republicans constantly invoke the name of Robert Byrd as proof that Democrats are the real racists? I’m sensing a teensy whiff of hypocrisy. Nah…can’t be.

    • Parakeetist

      Robert Byrd repented and changed his ways.

      That’s what they don’t want to admit.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        They also don’t want to admit that, at that time, joining the KKK was politically expedient. Times have changed. FFS, Abraham Lincoln thought the negro to be inferior. He just didn’t believe they should be owned by other people. That’s what people thought back then.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sheesh. He even looks like Poot. Same scrunched up face.

  • That’s one poochy, pouty mug.

    He’ll do fine.

  • johnnyknj

    In the immortal words of Tiffany Case, “Sorry about your fulsome friend”.

  • Harry Nuggets

    The current idiot par excellence, when it comes to looking like a total jackass is Hogan Gidley. Even by the standards of the current Administration the guy is low brow, dissembling and cringe inducing. My guess is Miller must have been behind his hiring. Like Stephen, he’s young, dumb, shameless and willing to do anything to further his career.

    Trump attracts these sorts like sh-t attracts flies.

    • cmd resistor

      Hogan Gidley has worked for Huckabee (as governor), HuckPac, and Rick Santorum’s 2012 campaign. This I learned from Wikipedia when I looked him up to find the answer to the question, “Who the hell is Hogan Gidley?”

      • Harry Nuggets

        I bet you did so after watching him make that dumb Uber anecdote to Anderson Cooper?

        • cmd resistor

          I missed that one. I can’t remember what dumb thing I saw him quoted as saying. There have been several. I’m thinking the first time, maybe he was travelling with Trump on Air Force One?

          • Blockhead Squared

            Santorum AND Huckabee, that’s quite the pedigree. What more need be said?

          • cmd resistor

            Just think of the places he’ll go after this stint with Trump.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Wonder if he has a brother named Spaulding?

      • LiberalANDProud

        “WILSON!!”

  • janet

    Someone should advise Mr. Shah on appropriate usage of fulsome (used at least twice in his presser)

    adjective

    1.

    offensive to good taste, especially as being excessive; overdone or gross:

    fulsome praise that embarrassed her deeply; fulsome décor.

    2.

    disgusting; sickening; repulsive:

    a table heaped with fulsome mounds of greasy foods.

    3.

    excessively or insincerely lavish:

    fulsome admiration.

    4.

    encompassing all aspects; comprehensive:

    a fulsome survey of the political situation in Central America.

    5.

    abundant or copious.

    • weejee
      • WotsAllThisThen

        “I shot a man on fifth avenue just to watch him die. I didn’t lose supporters, they just buy my lies.”

        • LiberalANDProud

          “and I got the bigots
          on my side,
          now just watch this drive”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Sounds like a good word to describe many things in this administration .

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We’ve replaced the spox’s talking points with fulsome crystals. Let’s see if he notices.

    • LadyLaz

      Hahahaha… Loving first and second.

  • weejee

    Shah: And no dodo birds were injured or killed during the firing, er quitting, ah extinction of Rob Porter.

  • mardam422

    Looks kinda mooslimy.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I think (hope?) SHS finally found someone she could not defend and blew a gasket.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
  • President in Exile Firefly

    I can only hope that this administration stops being ignorant hicks.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      ISWYDT

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Also don’t hold your breath.

  • BearGHAZI

    Better than Poot Lips!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Great. When they need someone to lie about and defend domestic abuse, they bring on a brown guy.

    • LiberalANDProud

      “Now, go out and get ’em. And don’t forget, I got my eye on you.” – Sarah Sanders

      • Shawn Charniga

        Her other eye is on the sparrow, because she’s a totally legit Christian.

    • LiberalANDProud

      “Yes, he’s not white Mr. President. But, he’s an Indian, so he’s like a genius. You know those people are really smart.” – Hope Hicks

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah! He’s, like, rilly smart!

      • LadyLaz

        OMG.

        • LiberalANDProud

          What? Too accurate?

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Not smart enough to have run screaming from this toxic dumpster fire of an administration tho, apparently.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, I’m sure Sarah was sad that she didn’t get to do it.

    • Clark_Nova

      Apparently only brown on the outside.

  • LiberalANDProud

    Televising these press conferences qualifies as viewer abuse.

    And the victims so want to leave, but they keep forgiving and coming back to promises of “I’ll be better” and “I promise not to hit you anymore”.

  • BearGHAZI

    Still a better love story than American Psycho 2: All American Girl

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Finally this WH is on the diversity bandwagon, showing us that a POC can meet the very low bar set by this Administration, same as the white men. Babby steps, people.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      First Ben Carson, now this guy. I guess nothing they do is racist, after all!

      • James Lamere

        Ben Carson has been accused of sometimes being awake …..these reports are troubling and deeply disturbing .

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    (during which he also misused “fulsome” twice, as if it meant “complete,” and no it does not mean that, everyone stop it!)

    This is a major pet peeve of mine as well, but I have been unsuccessful in stopping it outside my immediate staff. I also go ballistic when people turn “incentive” into a verb – incent, incentivize – but sadly, I can’t make it go away either.

    Also, get off my lawn.

    • LadyLaz

      I used to get jacked at that stuff, until I listened to Drout on Grammar, which changed my view on how verbs, nouns, etc. function in the English language. I became far more laid back, even about the use of “like….”

      “He was like, ‘it’s raining… and then I was like…. ‘sure, get your galoshes,’ and he was like, ‘what are you, some stuck up Britisher?’ and I was like…. ”

      That was the sin of my GenX generation, and I STILL use like, “like,” in normal speech and it drives me nuts.

      • Red Bird on a Shithouse

        Me too. It’s like a reflex reaction the natural pause. The youngz use the word so the same way.

      • The day I learned that “aks” rather than “ask” is actually a holdover from the original Anglo-Saxon and therefore technically the “purer” pronunciation was the day I realized that everything in language is ridiculously arbitrary and that individual linguistic preferences should be ascribed zero moral weight.
        “Irregardless” still makes my eye twitch, though.

        • LadyLaz

          Yeah, “irregardless” is bad, just like “literally” – gah! If you are a bit of a grammar nerd, look up the origin of the conjugation of the verb “to be.”

          It’s two verbs smashed together.

          Also, think how odd our use of “do” is. I will listen to Lexicon Valley periodically: the linguistic view of language works with my brain.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Eh, languages evolve. Onion belts, though, are forever.

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      I would like to incentive more frequent use if the word fulsome. Thanks.

    • TorbyIsHere

      The verbing of nouns, I find it both hilarious and irritating at the same time. Ones that seem to exist now that didn’t when I was a kid:
      Parenting
      Efforting
      Friended
      Emailing
      Workshopping

      That’s just off the top of my head. I think I’ve decided to embrace it (mostly), and sometimes I make up my own to be funny/irritating to my family.

      Successable: Is this project successable? (able to be completed successfully)
      ‘putering: Are you ‘putering now? (Using the computer)
      Wine: I need to wine. (Literally, I need to drink wine. NOW!)

      Well, I can’t remember anymore, probably because I need to lunch.

      • Zyxomma

        I am irritated by so-called back-formations; the creation of verbs from nouns. It started (for me, anyway) with liaise. No, no, no. It’s not a verb. WTF is wrong with create or form liaisons?

        • TorbyIsHere

          I hear you. I will not use them in a professional setting, except emailing because I’m lazy. I think it’s fun to try to come up with new ones, and I laugh at the ones I see in print. I guess I decided to be amused rather than irritated.

        • PlutoAnimus

          Some people are just liaisy.

        • Cat Cafe

          I hate it when there’s already a perfectly good word. Like gifting for give a gift.

      • Dixie Gale

        “Architecting”

        • TorbyIsHere

          How could I have forgotten that one?

      • Cat Cafe

        I’ve come to see it as pure old-fashioned American can-do spirit. We are an active, forward-moving country (at least we were), so we turn those non-moving nouns into moving, action-oriented VERBS. We’ve always done it!
        Heading out
        Eyeing an opportunity
        Shouldering someone out of the way
        Handing in our resignation
        Typewriting
        Spacing out
        Impacting
        Tabling
        Partying

        • come on guys. i posted this to edith’s original comment but shakespeare did this all the fucking time. it’s also in the book of common prayer.

          i love grammar but i don’t love it ruling over all.

    • Dixie Gale

      Creating a sloppy verb from a noun should be a hanging offense.

    • Clark_Nova

      Or get off my language.

    • just to be a PIA:

      Within my mouth you have enjailed my tongue,
      Doubly portcullised with my teeth and lips

      Still virginalling upon his palm?

      The multitudinous seas incarnadine,
      Making the green one red

      (and of course:)

      unsex me here.

      (sorry.)

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I hope he enjoyed his brief career as WH briefer and wish him luck in his future endeavors. Say, I haven’t kept up. What amazing new job did Sean Spicer springboard to after his successful run here?

  • azeyote

    i don’t know about all this without a graph –

  • John Robinson

    “Another weird moment came..”
    Eh, I don’t know why there’s all this fuss about him saying contradictory things within seconds of each other. When any of these dumpties use a word, it means just what they choose it to mean – neither more nor less. If you get confused, that’s your fault.

    • FeloniousMonk

      Right? This really didn’t seem any dumber than usual. Certainly not a Spicer-level cluster.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Say it with flowers.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Raj Shah is fulsome of shit.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      I think correct phrasing is: Raj Shah is, of shit, fulsome.

  • ken_kukec

    Bet Shuckabee hadda shove Shah’s ass out in front of the press corp, way Nixon used to do with Ron Ziegler.

  • ken_kukec

    “(a higher position than it sounds, because, you see, he’s a man secretary, not the lady kind)”

    At least, he wasn’t gettin’ paid 59 cents for every man’s dollar:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktt_CF6hXxY

  • clairence

    I’m pretty sure his answer on Omarossa came from Trump himself. It even stated that “we” fired her for the fourth time, which I found odd because I don’t remember a Trump White House on TheApprentice.

    • TundraGrifter

      A very odd thing to say – because it carries with it the obvious fact that she was hired three more times after being fired the first time. That’s more chances than most people give their first spouse.

      • svejk

        baltimore orioles manager earl weaver once said of one of his pitchers, i think it was dennis martinez, “i gave that guy more chances than i gave my first wife.” so it seems there’s a pattern here of not cutting first spouses any slack. on the other side of things, dennis martinez was a 20 game winner. omarosa, not so much.

        • TundraGrifter

          I remember reading that quote! Actually, it was in the back of my mind when I posted my comment. I think Weaver was talking about Mike Cuellar – not that it really makes much difference.

          • svejk

            you are totes korrect. cuellar it was. another 20-game winner, unlike rose mangygullet.

  • Shawn Charniga

    It’s been pointed out elsewhere that, to this White House, a woman’s accusation only carries 1/3 to 1/2 the weight of a man’s denial. 53% of Caucasian women voted for this.

  • clairence

    Say, did anyone notice that Raj also said anyone hired into the WH gets interim security clearance to see classified information, until their background check is complete (because they just take so long!)?

  • TundraGrifter

    They should have known Hope Hicks had a hand in drafting the statement defending Rob Porter when the White House first said “He’s just an animal in the rack.”

  • FeloniousMonk

    Hillz should still be jailed for failing to guard secrets though right?

  • he does not brain good.

  • Zyxomma

    Haven’t seen him. That’s Dok’s job.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    If you can’t get a security clearance, you’re pretty restricted on jobs you can hold in the army (think cook, truck driver, infantry). When I got my clearance, I had to answer questions about my student loan debt (answer: law school is fucking expensive).

    That this guy was a known blackmail risk, ineligible for clearance and was still put in this position is mind boggling

    • JustDon’tSayMemo

      I can’t get over that, and the fact that a 4-star general didn’t know better. So basically a guy without a clearance was handling classified material.

      • James Lamere

        I wont go into specifics right now , but I find this douche-bag administration deeply disturbing .

        • JustDon’tSayMemo

          Well then, Capt. Mystery, we shall wait for your analysis.
          You should know, methinks, that many of us suspect hijinks. And that evidence of such ABOUNDS.

    • Clark_Nova

      I handled crypto materials for a year in Nam and they only figured out on my last day that I had zero clearance (they also made me the HQ classified trash burner and I speed-read EVERYTHING before I burned it). They gave me a retroactive clearance with no investigation just to cover their asses.

    • there’s no point in blackmailing this white house. it all leads to putin and then plutonium.

    • Have you seen the other guys they hired?

  • rg9rts

    Why would anyone want that job?? There is only one worse job in DC and that is Speaker of the House…

    • beatbort

      More to the point, why do any members of the press play along with the charade by attending those press conferences?

      • Dixie Gale

        Oh, I would love that job. My only obstacle: the guy doing it now is absolutely crushing it.

      • rg9rts

        $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$….thats their job..

  • Kooolest G

    I normally would be right with you on ignoring omarosa dok, but I actually watched the parts of celebrity big brother that she was on last night and it’s fucking crazy. first she was talking to the girl who played rudy on the cosby show about how their situations were similar because rudy got a lot of shit for defending cosby early on just like she got a lot of shit for supporting trump. when your friends start comparing you to a rapist, that’s usually not good. then she was crying and telling some other “celebrity” how fucked up everything at the white house is and that we should all be scared for our country. I’m not sure how the big brother game works or who gets voted off the island and how, but I gotta say she has to be ratings gold for that show, and I’m sure she’ll be on there for as long as she can drag out the “I just saw some crazy shit and I’ll tell you all about it………right after this commercial” but still it’s pretty fucking insane that a few weeks ago she was working at the white house and now she’s on TV saying we should all be scared of what’s going on in there.

    • JustDon’tSayMemo

      And I almost went on a rant (flu-ridden wife made me STFU) about how FUCKING two-faced she is. She couldn’t tell Donnie Two-Scoops was a con and a racist back in Apprentice Season 1? BULLSHIT! crocodile tears!

      /rant

      • RugzYaBurnt

        She’s finished. This is merely the last opportunity she will ever have to show her ass on the teevee. And, blessedly, the last time anyone will ever have to see it.

        • JustDon’tSayMemo

          I wish I believed that. I believed it before, and nope, here she is again.

          • Beezelbubbles

            Baby needs a new pair of shoes.

          • JustDon’tSayMemo

            And a fix of alleyezonme.

    • JCfromNC

      Upvoted because it’s true, she probably will be ratings gold for the show, but she was happy enough that Donnie was going to be Our One True King that we’d all have to “bow down to” while she was on his good side, and it’s a purely mercenary move on her part now to be crying about how it’s all not going to be okay. And as others have said, fucking news flash, O, we all knew that already, and you probably knew just how bad it was going to be better than most. Why didn’t you speak up then?

    • Mike Steele

      Since we’re known for snark, will not apologize for saying “you watched Celebrity Big Brother” and think your take on this is credible in any fashion? Jeez.

      • Kooolest G

        Haha, that is true, but it was the first time I had ever watched one of those stupid reality shows. I actually saw Nicolle Wallace talking about how insane it was and that’s what made me dvr it. I sometimes work in tv and when you see how much effort and artistry goes in to a real tv show, it’s basically like making a 23 hour movie every year. Then some stupid asshole (a guy named Mark Burnett, who is very responsible for putting trump in our living rooms once a week) decided “fuck that, let’s just put up some cameras in a house full of washed up celebrities and watch them be catty and shallow, it barely costs anything to make” I really think that’s a big part of what went wrong with our culture, once we started thinking it was fun to watch people be cruel to each other in real life, it wasn’t long before we got a president like trump

  • Dixie Gale

    It’s official. I am formally applying for the job of Salty CNN Chyron Writer.

    • JustDon’tSayMemo

      If you get the job, I’ll start watching.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    So where was Sarah? Did her dressmaker run out of tablecloths?

    • Lambsendbeds

      The shower curtain didn’t fit.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Does he kinda look like the Indian version of Dominique Pinon to anyone else?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cc0f18efd2fa6bd90acde600a08e79a47a5818373896981a2c071feb3aaa5029.jpg
    Nota bene- this is a still from Delicatessen. I wish no harm to Mr. Shah. If nothing else, he sounds hilariously terrible at his job and will be fun to laugh at.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Where do Drumpf’s staff keep finding right-wing Indians?

    • Unsaintific

      There is a Hindu RW extremist group called Republican Hindu Coalition. It was started by admirers of Indian PM Modi and they also act as an American arm of his BJP party. I believe they support trump because he hates Muslims.

      As an Indian, I’m embarrassed by this bigots. But I’m proud of the fact that among all Asian-American ethnic communities, Obama has the highest (84 per cent) job approval ratings among Indian- Americans and has the lowest (56 per cent) among Chinese- Americans.

      https://www.google.co.in/amp/www.india.com/news/world/barack-obama-has-high-approval-rating-among-indian-americans-1209977/amp/

      • RugzYaBurnt

        That is informative, thank you! I thought it odd because Indian-Americans generally struck me as a pretty liberal bunch, and your statistics support that.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Why does anyone, any sentient and reasonably intelligent person, ever take a job as White House press secretary? I mean seriously, how do they even pitch that job? “Your role will be the duck in a shooting gallery. Have at it!” WTF??

    • Darko Malvoy

      Good point.

      To be fair, I thought Raj was quite a step up from Sarah, though. I mean, I didn’t get Sarah’s vibe of “I’ll just keep rolling out my lies and pay y’all no nevermind.” From him it was more like “Yeah, I’ve been dealt a shitty hand but I have to play it out.”

      And this worries me, just like when I see the polls show Trump getting up into the 40s. Bring back Sarah!

  • We need a collection of Top News Chyrons from the Trump Era.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      It’s my belief that the chyron is becoming sentient and writing itself… and has pretty much had enough of this shit.

  • OMG poor schlub.

    which SNL member gets this one?

  • Sakonyachen

    The Omarosa answer was “witty”, as in saying “You’re fired after Trump is incarcerated will be “witty”?

    Here’s the thing!

    Much as I’m disgusted that wife beaters are welcome in the Trump Administration, I’m about as shocked as I am when I wake up with a hangover after a case of OE forties and a bottle of Rumple Mintze. The thing here is that the chief of staff knows that makes them vulnerable to blackmail to get classified information. What was Beaty Mc Beaterson’s job again?

  • bopeep

    He has such a big square head and such worried eyebrows. Maybe he is worried by all the lies he is telling.

  • svejk

    i got them fulsome recusal blues…

    • Vacuous Virgina

      *chuckling* 😂😂😂

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    wahahaha he misused fulsome twice

  • Mike Steele

    As noted earlier, we only regret that LDS poster boy Porter didn’t meet up with Mormon goddess Jodi Arias years ago, when it could have done us the most good.

  • teenygozer

    Didn’t this happen to Josh on West Wing when CJ was out having a root canal done?

  • Delu

    The moral of this story is, no matter who you are, being Press Secretary for the Trump administration is a shit job where you have to lie while making it seem like you are not lying to defend and cover up Trumpain lies or injustices.

    It’s really not the sort of job a decent and conscientious person would want. Which says a lot about those who apply for the position.

  • zomgitsjesus

    Indian Americans can be traitors too! The Trump administration takes traitors of all races and sexes.

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