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No Russia. No Russia. YOU’RE THE RUSSIA.

In 2000, George W. Bush won the election by negative 450,000 votes because the Supreme Court stepped in and made Florida stop recounting, because it was very unfair to not go ahead and install Bush as president. The Republic depended on it! In 2004, George W. Bush won because he actually won the popular vote that time, and also because some hinky, still unexplained shit happened in Ohio.

In 2016, we are just now officially learning in February 2018, the Russian government very much did successfully hack into the voting systems, but it was only a handful of states, so no big deal, right? Were they able to affect the vote counting? Oh, that’s a scary question, let us not ask it!

The U.S. official in charge of protecting American elections from hacking says the Russians successfully penetrated the voter registration rolls of several U.S. states prior to the 2016 presidential election.

“Several.”

In an exclusive interview with NBC News, Jeanette Manfra, the head of cybersecurity at the Department of Homeland Security, said she couldn’t talk about classified information publicly, but in 2016, “We saw a targeting of 21 states and an exceptionally small number of them were actually successfully penetrated.”

Russia moved on our systems like a bitch, but it couldn’t get there, except for in an “exceptionally small number” of states. Can’t imagine that’s a problem, especially in an election where the “loser” beats the “winner” by almost three million votes.

Which exceptionally small number of states? Shhhhhhhhhh, let’s not get into that.

And it definitely was the Russian government that did this? “No doubt,” says Jeanette Manfra.

But don’t freak out:

There is no evidence that any of the registration rolls were altered in any fashion, according to U.S. officials.

NO EVIDENCE. As Wonk pal Charlie Pierce points out, this could mean anything from “we haven’t seen anything specific” to “OMG WE ARE SCARED TO FIND THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION, BECAUSE FOR REAL THEN WE WOULD HAVE TO GRAPPLE WITH THE FACT THAT RUSSIA LITERALLY STOLE THE ELECTION FOR ITS ASSET DONALD TRUMP.”

It’s cool, though, because the best people at the top agencies are working like busy bees to fix this problem, LOL just kidding no they aren’t:

… [Former Homeland Security Secretary Jeh] Johnson told NBC News he is now worried that since the 2016 election a lot of states have done little to nothing “to actually harden their cybersecurity.”

In response, Jeanette Manfra, mentioned above, said NUH UH.

Secretary Of State Rex “ZZZZZZZZ” Tillerson said this week that actually Russia is already hard at work to fuck with the 2018 midterms, and that we’re not ready, so that’s comforting. But he says the reason we’re not ready is that Russia is such a silly trickster it keeps changing its tactics:

“I don’t know that I would say we are better prepared, because the Russians will adapt, as well. The point is, if it’s their intention to interfere, they are going to find ways to do that. We can take steps, but this is something that, once they decide they are going to do it, it’s very difficult to pre-empt it.”

Oh my fucking God.

IDEA: What if we actually implemented the sanctions Congress passed by a margin of 66 million to a handful of fucking morons, the sanctions the Trump administration was supposed to start implementing but decided not to because Congress is not Donald Trump’s real dad? What if we actually punished the fuck out of the nation that’s stealing our democracy? Hahahahahahahahahaha, we are so silly and naive, Donald Trump wouldn’t be president if it weren’t for the Russians, and they probably are blackmailing him, so it’s never going to happen.

OTHER IDEA: How about maybe, just this once, we get some Virginia-style paper ballots? That may not help with the voter rolls, but wouldn’t it make you feel a whole lot better about the ACTUAL VOTE?

Got anything to say, popular vote loser George W. Bush? Something about how whoa hey, his own elections were fucked the fuck up, but this shit is scary?

“Whether (Russia) affected the outcome is another question,” Bush said. “It’s problematic that a foreign nation is involved in our election system. Our democracy is only as good as people trust the results.”

That’s right, that’s CRAZY LIBERAL CONSPIRACY THEORIST George W. Bush, saying it’s “problematic” how Russia is registered to vote in the tiniest handful of states, and saying it’s still an open question whether Russia actually successfully rigged the 2016 election. What a Code Pink Occupy Democracy Now liberal George W. Bush is being, to even ask that question!

They did it, y’all.

And nobody in a position to fix it cares.

We are so fucked.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • Sashineb
    • rg9rts

      he wants to impress Un…with how big his is

  • The Wanderer

    So there was some penetration, huh? Did the Russians at least kiss us afterward?

    • gallbladder

      Not even a reach-around.

    • OutOfOrbit

      oh, they have just begun to screw with us. the tRumpsterfire is making it much easier for them

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      just the tip…

    • Opiwan

      just the tip

  • gallbladder

    The looking glass has been shattered. No way back from here.

  • OutOfOrbit

    THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING…
    scratch that
    THE RUSSIANS ARE HERE! THE RUSSIANS ARE HERE!

    • rg9rts

      You have no idea how many of those trolls I’ve run out of town

    • TJ Barke

      Mostly they’re just using our financial institutions to launder money.

      • OutOfOrbit

        oh, well, in that case, nevermind

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Fuck.
    Fuck.
    FUCK.
    FFUCK!
    FUCK ALL THE FUCK FUCKS!!!!!

    FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK

    • OutOfOrbit

      go on

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Skwerl have a newsletter?

        • OutOfOrbit

          yes. see synopsis above

    • gallbladder

      I liked it when you said “FUCK.”

    • ArgieBargie

      When it comes to the 2016 election, we should never run out of fucks.

    • folderol

      That’s still less fucks than Evan Hurst uses in a typical article.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      You had me at fuck

  • Msgr_MΩment

    the Russians successfully penetrated the voter registration rolls

    So, um, #MeToo?

  • hudson

    i checked. there is nothing about this violation of our sovereignty on breitbart. not even a mention.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Thank you for your service.

    • hudson

      just so that you know who cares about what. who is fundamentally america first, and who is not. just saying.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Meanwhile, FOX is steadfastly ignoring the Rob Porter story

  • rg9rts

    Isn’t the FM the one that screamed about voter fraud??

  • OrG

    There hasn’t been a legitimate republican president since Eisenhower.

    • proudgrampa

      I LIKE IKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • freakishlypersistent

    So..Wolverines?!1

  • Scooby

    It’s going to be even harder now that the Chinese have seen how easy and effective it is to trick Americans into electing morons.

  • Anna Rompage

    I read a report somewhere where there were actual voter rolls that were tampered with in one or two states, but supposedly the officials caught it, and were able to roll back the changes…

    I don;t know if I have faith they were able to reconcile the changes…

  • Uncle Zor

    What if Charlie didn’t inherit the chocolate factory? That is the darkest timeline, in which we’ve become trapped:
    https://twitter.com/rudepundit/status/961387090696163328

  • Crystalclear12

    It’s not like mere 3 states determined the outcome or anything.

    OK, I’ll be in the corner rocking myself and comforting a bottle of Jack if you need me.

    • hudson

      did you see the heat map of electoral victories? it’s like as if the entire country voted for him ad the majority did not even vote for him.

  • TJ Barke

    Protip: Trump can’t sanction, because his “business empire” will die without Russian cash.

    • DrBigHead

      That’s what it all comes back to.

      • “M”

        Like we care. Let it fall and come to ruin. As my auntie might say, “You lay down with dogs, you rise up with fleas.”

    • Cat Cafe

      Also Putin will, er, “punish” him with a nice cup of tea. As well as releasing the tape that incriminates him for child sex trafficking, accessory to murder, money laundering for Russian mafia, and shows his actual micro-penis.

  • freakishlypersistent

    The only way out of this is to get Russians to crank our “free and fair” elections for Democrats. Then, and only then, will republicans care about it.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    I think Evan may be intimating, check me on my reading, but it could be that there is a possibility of something maybe not so good happening with Russia, that perhaps there is a chance

    THAT WE ARE TOTALLY FUCKED.

    Did I get that right?

    • hudson

      that we have been had is one problem. that a good chunk does not seem to care is another.

      if one can be had politically, how do you trust them with anything else? this is one half of one part of the 3 part system of checks and balances right?

    • Jmom

      Here’s what I’m worried about. Maybe the Republicans all know this and are so confident of their re-elections because they know Russia will hand it to them. Thats why they are not pushing back against Trump. Because they will be elected again no matter what.

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    Well. This isn’t terrifying at all. Not. At. All.

  • TJ Barke

    Welcome to the new age of oligarchy, kids.

  • mrFawkes

    “Is our voting children learning? That is a question best left to future generations of childish voters. Now watch this drive.”
    –Bush the Lesser

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    This is what I’ve been afraid of. How many elections do we have to hold where people afterwards are saying “I voted for the Dem but they counted my vote for the repuke” before we fix this? Will it be before or after the mushroom cloud?
    Ha ha, silly question; ain’t gone be nothin’ after the mushroom cloud.

    • hudson

      you don’t have to go that far. there are already provable cases where you realize even before you vote, that your vote does not count at all.

    • TimResistit

      Yep. That’s the plan. Not to elect specific pro-putin people (altho that is a nice benefit) but to get people like you and me to distrust the vote outcomes and the institution of representational government. Nothing helps usher in fascism like zero confidence in our most cherished democratic tradition.

  • JaveyDay
  • I’m stocking up on torches and pitchforks.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Vlad VladVPutin master of the Trump Regime.
    There was a spy who was really gone.
    Vlad vlad Putin. Russia’s greatest theft machine
    It was a shame how he carried on…

    • TJ Barke

      That song is great on drugs.

  • Marla

    Remember when Trump wanted a “US/Russian cyber alliance?”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      That seems like years ago, doesn’t it? This administration is like dogs years.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Shorter dubya, only quality domestic ratfucking allowed, no cheap foreign knockoffs

  • ArgieBargie

    For thousandth time: we are a nation full of proud, willful, obvious fucking morons. And our adversaries continue to understand this better than we do, which is why this happened, and will continue to happen.

    But it’s all fine and dandy for Trump supporters, because “TAKE THAT LIBTARDS!”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It hurts the profit margins of too many at the top to deal honestly with the issue of who and what we are as a country. The media, all of advertising, sports, entertainment, politics, you name it- all depend upon maintaining the fiction that Muricans are basically knowledgeable and focused on the issues that matter, rather than the ugly truth that most of us are blubbering morons, a bunch of lazy and incurious idiots wholly incapable of even rudimentary critical thinking, hopelessly distracted by every bright shiny object the tech world can churn out to even further dumb us down into unthinking, unquestioning consumers.

      We will never honestly address the crisis of our population being dumb and lazy, because there’s no money in it- to the point that we will actually allow our adversaries to weaponize that stupidity and apathy against us, rather than kill the goose that lays the golden eggs for so many.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        Can’t say capitalism becuz that might lead to creeping soshulizm.

        Oh, well. Back to videos of kittehs being borned.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          This ain’t capitalism. This is corporatism. More and more profits in the hands of fewer and fewer people.

      • ArgieBargie

        You said it a lot better than I could ever have.

      • Shawn Charniga

        But that’s just it, our national identity is entirely merchantile. That’s it. That is as far down as the well of our national consciousness and collective identity goes. We work ourselves into early graves so we can buy more things, because we’ve forgotten that there are other ways to live. That’s why we’re so screwed.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          The scary part? German workers just earned a 28 hour workweek. Meanwhile, we idiots are patting ourselves on the back for working 60 hour weeks and shaming anyone who thinks that spending every waking moment slaving away at your jerb is no way to live for being unAmerican.

          • Shawn Charniga

            Because we’ve fetishized work.

          • I think it’s an expression of Stockholm syndrome. The working poor have to work, and get punished for missing a day, even now, so they have turned it into a macho contest. “I worked 40 years without missing a day, no matter how sick.” Yeah, so did the slaves on the southern plantations. Not that I’m equating the two, but anybody being forced to work even when it might literally kill you is not a good thing.

          • Shawn Charniga

            I humbly disagree. The belief is quite old which might explain how deeply it’s woven into the American psyche.

            The Puritans upheld hard work as a virtue and many seem to have seen themselves as being above those licentious Dutch to their southwest. Not long after that, the English booted the Dutch from New York and imported their caste system from the home country, commingling the concepts of inherent virtue and inherited wealth.

            Fast-forward a bit more and the American Northeast is booming as it refines and sells raw materials brought north from the southlands’ developing agrarian economy and east from the seemingly endless abundance of timber, bituminous coal and what have you.

            Americans of European descent, whose first ancestors arriving here were often religious kooks, criminals and people who had screwed up once too often back home, began to see themselves as prosperous people profiting off the fruits of their labor and the fat of the land.

            Obviously, divine providence had given them what they deserved.

            From there, it isn’t much of a leap to looking down on those who are not prosperous and hardworking and white. This, of course ignores the fact that the basis of that wealth was the free labor of chattel slaves and free raw material from the rape of an untouched continent bursting with natural resources ripe for exploitation.

            Think about that while you look at the faces of the talking heads on Republican TV yelling about oil. It makes some amount of sense, no?

          • Non-US American here, and I’ve never understood why you guys think that French people are BAD for having paid vacations and being willing to go on strike.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            because we’re idiots?

  • Jenny

    Yes they fucked the votes. And the people in charge of the intelligence apparatus can’t say because the fall out would be catastrophic.

    I do have to wonder if the left would react violently. The right would if the situation was reversed. Actually they’d react with violence either way.

    So is it better to pretend nothing really happened and we hobble along hoping the intelligence agencies can knee cap President Agent Cheap Vodka; or do we tear it all down and hope we can put it back together again in a deeply polarized environment? Odds are Russia has a plan to be in charge either way.

    • DrBigHead

      I firmly believe that if there is ever an official statement to the effect that Trump’s election was fraudulent, there will be violence. Frankly doesn’t matter where it originates.

      • Old town Urbandale

        An uprising against Trump, or an uprising of the Trumpers to stay in power?

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Why not both?

      • TJ Barke

        Considering one side just marches and occasionally does vandalism while the other advocates for killing and deporting undesirables, I can imagine where the violence will come from…

  • GlazedHaim

    You know, if most Americans aren’t going to use this voting system that everybody just had to have, I think it’s nice that at least somebody wants to play with it.

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    Be sure to stand for the anthem while the nation falls.

    • hudson

      never underestimate the power of false piety. not to mention parade.
      the fucker wont pay taxes or serve, but he has to be celebrated as the greatest example of everything.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        I’m from the Bible Belt. I had a PhD in false piety by 3rd grade.

        • hudson

          there are good people from the bible belt. like carter for example. their leader types are all mostly fucked up though. what i don’t understand how the fuck half the junta over there falls for obvious charlatans like *sons. Did you notice how many of these guys are *sons? or somebody of Dutch extraction?

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Preach Sister, Preach!

    • Anna Rompage

      Can we take a knee once the anthem is switched to this?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOAtz8xWM0w

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Won’t the SPEAK ENGLUSH crowd just love that?!

        • coozledad

          I talked to a couple of skins who rolled up to the Dem headquarters in Roxboro in their pickups. They were already on the “I’d suck me some Russian dick cuz it’s white” train.

          Old mortgaged out toothless southerners never have had any qualms about treason. They jack themselves off to traitor statues.

          • Ms. MLG on Maui

            Dreadful.

          • coozledad

            I hate them. I’d be happy to fight a war with them. They’re nihilists, and they don’t belong in human company.

      • Thurman Munster IV

        Play ball!

      • “Unpresidented” Linda
    • Jamoche

      And put your hands on your hearts while reciting In Trump We Trust.
      https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/961655612361777152

    • Shawn Charniga

      {slow clap}

      I’m totally cribbing that line. /hat tip

  • folderol

    You know it’s bad when George W. Bush sounds like a wizened elder statesman.

  • Longstreet63

    Look, fixing the voting system would be expensive! Particularly if it annoys the donors of the party in power. Won’t somebody think of the right wing billionaires?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    How about from now on, all Republican votes count as 3/5ths of a vote?

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Why are we such slaves to voting anyway?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Me, I’m just a slave to the rhythm (hit it, Grace!).

    • Anna Rompage

      Only if they can first pass a literacy test and pay a poll tax…

      • Slamtundra

        Doesn’t have to be long, just a couple of questions on usage of your/you’re and their/they’re/there.

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          they’re their, it’ll be OK

        • “Unpresidented” Linda

          You forgot Boarder and Border.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Also lose and loose.

  • OT. our BFF the Illinois Nazi has a teensy meltdown on the TeeVee. https://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/holocaust-denier-tells-cnn-not-nazi

  • OrG

    Fuck this shit.

  • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

    It is MUCH more important to stop blahs and “illegals” from voting (because undocumented persons voting is so a thing…) than it is to protect the integrity of the process. It is my ladybrain understanding of both the Constitution and the Republic, that we should be in the business of preserving rights, not taking them away. I think those Second Amendment folks would be with me on this? Yes? Anyone?

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Nah, gunz r bigly moar important bcuz GUN PENIS. Ladybrainz and blahs r too stoopid to MAGA like REAL MEN OF STABLE JEENYUS.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The “Second Amendment” types are invariably racist asshats themselves. so no.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    OT: What is it next? My emotional support gun? My emotional support machete? My emotional support personal protection pit bull?

    Try flushing a pit bull down the toilet.

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/belen-aldecosea-emotional-support-hamster-flushed-toilet_us_5a7c7c6ce4b0c6726e107c3a?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      I am going with an emotional support sloth.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Gotta go slow with that………..

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        ‘He always makes me feel better. Eventually.’

    • Jenny

      Hey hey hey! My pitbull is supportive as fuck!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Here, here. I have a photograph of mine resting her head on my father’s hand as he lay dying of cancer in hospice. Not exactly lethal.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Just try that with my emotional support lion.

      https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3081/2572871429_a07574edfc.jpg

    • Bobathonic

      My emotional support face-eating leopard keeps me semi-sane.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Dude, I agree that the emotional support beast thing getting way out of hand, but can you please not bash pit bulls? What is done to them is horrid beyond words (would you be sweet if you were burned with cigarettes to fight??) and their rep as uniquely vicious killing machines is a lie.

      Not cool.

      • Red Richmond

        Upvoted and agreed on that. They get a bad rap because sadly they tend to fall into the hands of monstrous people, but pitbulls raised and trained right can be as sweet and loving as any dog out there.

      • A hundred years ago they were America’s default family dog. Anybody ever see the old Little Rascals short movies? The gang’s dog was a pit bull. OK, phrasing could be better.

    • everstar

      Yeah, silly college student, getting a hamster to deal with the emotional stress of thinking she might have cancer. Some people, amirite?

  • altleftjohn
    • Jeffocaster in the West

      eh…correction, over sold market. Bullshit president.

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        I think we all know where the volatility resides.

        1600 Pennsylvania Ave

    • Jenny

      Lol yesterday the boyfriend said to me. Don’t you think you’re worrying too much? Look the stocks rebounded already.

      I SAID NOPE!

    • GlazedHaim

      Damn. Dow’s dropping lower than Sarah Sanders’ left eye.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      And yesterday the WH was crowing about the ‘rapid recovery.’

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    This is all the proof I need that Hillary Clinton CHEATED to win the popular vote.

  • SisterArtemis

    I’m suddenly feeling the need to go watch Manchurian Candidate, original flavor, yet again…

    (It’s not a bad book, either, though the Lansbury movie is my favorite. Entertain yourself for a gloomy day off sometime: watch the original 1962 version, take a break to eat some good food, maybe play some cards…. then watch the 2004 Denzel remake. Great way to paranoid yourself out for the day.)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Interesting fact: The out of focus scene with Frank Sinatra wasn’t planned that way. It was the first take, Sinatra often performed best in his first take, but the focus wasn’t right. Frankenheimer reshot the scene with the correct focus several times, but Sinatra’s performance wasn’t as good. So Frankenheimer said fuck it, will put the out of focus scene in, and critics loved it because it reflected Major Marco’s disoriented state.

      • SisterArtemis

        poetic license

    • eyelashviper

      We saw it again recently, a really brilliant film, and it has a good ending. Sob, we need one now.

  • MynameisBlarney

    SHS as a country song.

    I woulda just posted the youtube vidja directly but there’s some funny pics on that thread.

    https://upload.democraticunderground.com/1017479333

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    78.media.tumblr.com/ca5d17c0d5351d28b4589629f67370f3/tumblr_oywa0oznTJ1w8f7y5o9_500.gif

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Trump is DEFINITELY going to have to say something extra stupid today to make sure this story dies a quick death.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      He will

      a) set up a WWE handicap match pitting Uday and Qusay against Justin (“handicap” in that Justin will refuse because it’s not fair for him to punch down)

      b) accuse Auntie Fa of breaking into Rob Gronkowski’s house on behalf of the Philadelphia Ill Eagles

      c) nuke Korea unless that hawt gay figure skater apologizes to Mike Pence for giving him a stiffie a sad

      d) AOT,K and then some

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Just a few states. Like Ohio, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Just a few. Not many.

    • SisterArtemis

      not like they were important states or anything…

  • SisterArtemis

    I might note that once again, very happy to live in (a) a mail-in ballot state, and (b) Oregon. Not sayin’ we couldn’t get hacked, or weren’t, but I feel like we have the start on some good defenses against voting fuckery.

    • weighmaster

      Me too :)

    • TJ Barke

      At least we don’t have those fucking diebold machines.

      • SisterArtemis

        no shit!
        But the do-it-at-your-own-speed thing is major for me, because it doesn’t make it difficult for people to vote based on work schedules or transportation.

      • Jmom

        Funny thing- Illinois was hacked and we have diebold machines and we have an actual Nazi running. Hmmmmm…….

    • OutOfOrbit

      the (R)s will fight any & all fixes tooth & nail — as long as the broke shit works for them

    • Jamoche

      Electronic voting is amazingly unpopular in Silicon Valley. That should tell everybody something.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      My county in California uses paper ballots. They are fast, efficient, and easy to fill out at home also, too.

    • onedollarjuana

      Second that from Washington State. I mailed my latest ballot in a week early, so no problems with work schedule conflicting with voting.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Now more of the far left people will be pushing the whole “see its not worth voting anyway” stuff even more.

    • OutOfOrbit

      me optimistic not gonna git took that way next time

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      That’s what I’m afraid of. And we cannot get sucked into that black hole. I am voting no matter what. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Same here but the purity ponies are most likely going to sit the elections out for one reason or another.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They’re already convinced that Russiagate is a hoax by Deep State

    • GoutMachine

      Which is precisely the point of the entire Russian operation. Destroy confidence in the system.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Well to be fair those far left people wouldn’t vote anyway.

  • La forza del resistino

    If my Russian comrades can make my counties voter reg disappear, can they do the same with my catalog of outstanding parking violations? Vlad? Sergey?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Can we go ask Karl Rove about why he was so surprised in 2012 when Ohio didn’t go for Mitt Romney? Because it sure seemed to take him unawares, almost as though he was expecting some particular result regardless of what the voters did. Because I still think some shit was up with that, and not that that’ll lead to Russia necessarily, but I think we’ve seen a pattern of behavior with this so-called Republican Party.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Why would you think anything like that would happen?

      money.cnn.com/2004/08/30/technology/election_diebold/?cnn=yes

      The company came under fire last year for a letter that Diebold CEO Walden O’Dell wrote as a fundraising pitch to Republicans. In the letter, O’Dell said he was “committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president.” Diebold is based in North Canton, Ohio.

      • onedollarjuana

        Bingo! I still believe that one of the best actions citizens could take is to find and destroy all electronic voting machines that don’t use a verifiable, auditable “paper” ballot.

        • Get ’em all, paper ballot or no, just to be sure. I feel better about Canadian election results knowing human beings verified each mark with their own eyeballs.

          • Jeanne

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      • george lastrapes

        Doesn’t the guy get points for being honest, or sorta honest in a stupidly involuntary even kinda amusing when you get right down to it way, about his treason? Must we judge every betrayer harshly? Hasn’t everybody betrayed his nation, even just a little bit?

    • DrBigHead

      Jesus Christ, we have reached the report where I read your post and others like it and say to myself, “yeah, probably”.

    • La forza del resistino

      the 1876 GOP win of Rutherfraud Hayes may never be matched in Fuckery. Makes the 2000 SCOTUS/Bush deal pale.

      • george lastrapes

        Rutherfraud! Never heard it! Before, I mean.
        Thankew, yew made mah day.

    • coozledad

      A lot of Republicans, even down to the Bumfuck Ohio precincts were sure shocked about it. Especially after they’d spent the whole day saying blacks were too lazy to come out and vote.

      That shit should have been looked into, and a bunch of white trash jailed.

    • “M”

      So-called is right. Not enough attention is being paid to the relationship between the then-Secretary of State in FL and Ivanka Trump.

    • Ninja0980

      Given what they did in 04 to help W, I think he thought it would happen again.

    • george lastrapes

      And I thought I was the only one to notice his odd behavior— which seemed inappropriate and unaccountable— unparsable, even— until I remembered the creepily pleasurable feelings I got seeing Karl Rove in distress, delicious guilty feelings I used to have in Texas (Though not often enough because he was slicker’n a snake’s snatch and probably got away with literal murder and worse. I’m glad to see he’s doing so badly.

    • george lastrapes

      The Republican thinking seems to be that the Russians were evil back when they were murderous betraying communist thugs, — but now that they are murderous betraying corporate fascist thugs, they are good, so good that we should hope for a buyout or a merger, or even a hostile takover!

    • george lastrapes

      Your upvote came as I was polishing my jewel– no, not that! I mean the post I was writing, and I fear that any more polishing would have rubbed it away to nothing.

      I am grateful for the upvote. Such have been few and far between, lately, as my posts have become increasingly convoluted/bitter/apprehensive/verballyviolent&c. I blame the national crisis, but what seems to be a shift in the, what, tensor product of the attraction/revulsion fields have me somewhat less despondent.

      A little Schadenfreude can be good for the Weltschmerz and provide the fiber needed for healthy and regular Zeitgeists.

      • SayItWithWookies

        We need to get back to the zeitgeists of our youth and put an end to this Gotterdammerung bullshit.

        • george lastrapes

          Can you say that without using cusswords?

          • SayItWithWookies

            According to Google translate, it’s Schwachsinn, if that helps — what comes out of the posterior of a male bovine.

          • george lastrapes

            Much relieved. God-r- damn- r- hung! Am so full of bullshit I thought you thought I thought- nevermind.

          • george lastrapes

            Replying to myself, as you will notice. But I must run an errand. Truly. Some of what I typed was bullshit, some actual lies, even vicious ones, but the last thing I said is God’s own truth.
            Enjoyed talking I mean typing with you, Hope to do so again.

          • george lastrapes

            Wait a cotton-pickin- minute. Something ain’t felt right. ,,Schwachsinn” means more like ‘weak thinking’, or ‘flabby reasoning’ , or even ‘lame-brain-ism’, whereas bullshit is a participatory art– the bullshitee is sorta like a ballerina to- I dunno- maybe a primo ballerino. A good bullshitter will get himself invited back, over and over, but a Schwachsinner will be abused possibly physically and certainly verbally and NEVER invited back, and in no uncertain terms he will be told something indefinite and probably confusing, although he will be in consideralble doubt.

          • george lastrapes

            Another self-replial, ( the opposite of self-denial?) Sometimes I forget that this is for fun, it’s not a duel to if not death then severe maimage. And still I can’t help but say, as German 50 yrs in my past comes back in fitz and startz, that the literal translation of ‘bullshit’ is ,,Kuhscheiss” (I think), the double ess written as a funny-looking ‘B’— not that we were dealing in literal translations, because I have a snarking suspension that there can be no such thing as a literal translation—maybe a lateral transcription, but I’d guess that has to do with DNA.
            Hope I’m not being unsufferable.

          • SayItWithWookies

            I’m not German speaker, but I do know scheiss is German for shit. I guess Schwachsinn is less a metaphor than bullshit is.

          • george lastrapes

            Not trying to show off talents I don’t have. I’m not a German speaker, although I do play one (hopefully to comic effect) on Wonkette. I am a slow (glacially so) German reader. The tedium of the typing medium gives me time to think, to improvise, and makes it seem effortless and quick. It isn’t. And I do truly believe that translation is so difficult that only true experts should attempt it. AI translation, though better than nothing (sometimes, maybe), but nothing in linguistics is orthogonal, rectilinear, blablabla if that means anything and I think it doesn’t. No single word in any one language ‘perfectly faithfully represents’ another word in another language. (The terminology comes from set theory!)

            Now I am starting to be that guy I’m trying not to be.

            Truth to tell I am old, sick (COPD, on O2 at times, college dropout dirt poor, never a very nice person; but I am obsessed with the future of my country, which I not so long ago professed to disdain. Before I die I hope to see (upcoming euphemism) positive change.(understatement). To call me a nervous, physical,and emotional wreck would be to give me a compliment which I in no way deserve.
            Did I mention cluster headaches? none in nearly three years. Huzzah.
            I’m naturally competitive, or combative, but I shouldn’t blaming the PeeResident. I’m trying to be a better person, and a soldier of some kind in the army of the resistence. But it feels instead that I’m impotent (not in the way that no longer counts) and impudent, so much so that I am driving friends away faster than I make them. And I’m way too cute with words. A good start to the list of things I should stop.

          • george lastrapes

            Okay. Might’ve tried too hard on that one. Explanation available on request. (Seriously, I told you that I frequently ‘step in it”

          • george lastrapes

            Okay. Blank comment. Or not. Stupid Robot.

  • BMW

    Wackadoodle conspiracy theory: Maybe the Republicans don’t want to act against Russian interferencd because they are expecting to benefit from the interference like they did in 2016?

    Nah, that’s just crazy talk.

    • Anna Rompage

      They’ve already shown their contempt for people voting with their insistent attacks on voting rights…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        And their love of gerrymandering to the point where in PA they’re talking about impeaching judges interpreting state law that says gerrymandering is contrary to it.

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          On behalf of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I would like to apologize for the existence of Elbridge Gerry and his emotional support salamander.

    • Zonath

      But it takes a lot of courage and self-sacrifice to neglect your own interests for the sake of your country, and both courage and self-sacrifice are against the religion of most Republican members of Congress.

    • Bigby

      I’ve actually talked to these people and it’s treasonously true. “Soooooo, you’re ok with the Russians (you know, the Evil Empire you hated for 75 straight years) stealing an American election as long as your side ‘wins’?”. “Yep, libtard!”. “Uhhhh, aren’t you the Brady/Belichick/Pats hater that thinks everything they do, including simply showing up to a game, is ‘cheating’?”. “Yep!”. “So, why do you have a problem with THEM if they’re just cheating to win? I mean, they’re just doing what the GOP is doing, *cheating to win*…”. “I don’t follow, what?”. Derp.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        Rooskie not the evil empire anymore because fascists, not commies.

        Even Raygun would approve, because Rooskie came to Jebus.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    What if those few states were WI, MI and PA?

    I mean, the ones in which a mere 80,000 votes out of 130 million cast determined which way the Electoral College would swing?

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it’s extremely likely that that is the case

      but if we fix it, they’ll just make changes, too, so we might as well not try anything at all

  • Bureaucrap

    Only states with an “a” somewhere in their name. Wyoming, New York and New Jersey have nothing to fear.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Whew!
      Floriduh’s gonna be ok!

  • Proud Liberal

    How about fucking paper ballots for the 2018 election? No more machines that can be hacked!

    • GlazedHaim

      Nice try, Big Paper Troll

  • Swampay

    WTF!?! “We can take steps, but this is something that, once they decide they are going to do it, it’s very difficult to pre-empt it.”

    Putin, we have officially rolled over and offered our neck. Our sec’y State figgers you’re gonna have your way with us anyway, might as well lay back and enjoy it.

    • Red Richmond

      Just close your eyes and think of the dacha, I guess? Fucking hell.

    • OutOfOrbit

      purdy sure Tillersinsin has a nice home on 100s of acres in the Russia

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      “The Fox is going to raid the hen house, so we’ll just keep feeding him chickens, I guess.”

    • ((( Augustus )))

      I fucking reject that bullshit

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I must’ve heard Trump say the elections were rigged at least 100 times. Seems like it’s the only thing he’s gotten right.

  • New and Improved Say Wha

    I know, let’s have a parade!

  • anon_the_great

    Of course all these warning about the 2018 election will be vomited up as proof that the Deep State Dems stole the midterms.

    Gen Kelly said, “Military curfews are unfortunate but until we can figure out just what the Hell is going on Congress will remain suspended. No further questions.”

    • Tetman Callis

      The last public statement made by a representative of the national government before the Second Civil War broke out.

  • Tetman Callis

    Jeh Johnson was a keynote speaker at Legalweek on Jan. 30. Among other things, he said this about cyberattacks on the USA: “It’s not just a threat. It’s a daily ongoing, minute by minute, hour by hour, series of attacks. There have been cyberattacks on the
    homeland since I walked into this room an hour ago.”

    Here’s the link to the (somewhat short) report: https://www.law.com/legaltechnews/sites/legaltechnews/2018/01/30/cybersecurity-is-the-number-one-threat-to-our-nation-jeh-johnsons-legalweek-keynote/

    • MynameisBlarney

      Fuckers!

  • Joshua Norton

    Remember when Trump said he’d be happy to be interviewed by Mueller and the mainstream press carried on like it was an actual thing?

    Good times.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Like he would be happy to release his tax returns. Why do they believe a thing he says anymore?

    • Bigby

      The best part is he basically gets ‘credit’ as though he was actually already interviewed by Mueller under oath and it went perfectly and he was exonerated. Same with his taxes and his “I never lost a case in court”.

    • Jenny

      Pepperidge Farm remembers.

  • Professor Fate

    yes as noted we are edging closer and closer to having to deal with the dead elephant in the room – because if it does turn out that Trump won because the Russians gimmicked the count in ‘just a few states’ (and I can’t help thinking that the local GOP in those states aided and abetted) we have for real Constitutional Crisis because well there is no procedure for dealing with that sort of thing. It’s also such a body blow to the idea of the republic that I think a lot of beltway folks of both parties are putting their hands over their ears and going la la la I can’t hear you because they are afraid this is true and then they will have to deal with it. And alas they know they don’t have the kind of courage needed.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Unless enough people demand that something be done. If they can stop watching cat videos for long enough.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        But Pummy’s babbies are so kyoot.

      • khanurik

        Well, I guess that counts me out…

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Removing a President even with evidence of Russian meddling is the hard way.
      Find the weak spots in the system and strengthen them.
      Expand our cyber monitoring forces
      Take the House this year.
      Start Inpeachment proceedings in January.

      There is established law for Impeachment. Developing a system to rectify a tampered election would take years.

      • Professor Fate

        true but we’re going to have to find out what really happened to go forward and i’m not sure Washington wants to know. In fact I’m pretty sure it doesn’t.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I was taught in Nursing School that you can’t find a fever if you don’t take a temperature.

      • george lastrapes

        My solution: Pay him to fire Pence, then to appoint Hillary VP, Then he (the Strumpet, of course) quits because we’re paying him 20 billion to do so, and he and his leave, bag and baggage. Maybe they can be happy in Crimea. But those people have suffered enough, we’ll have to work something else out.
        Who would pony up the 20 bil? George Soros, Warren Buffet, Jeff BZos– maybe in a month’s time the Mercers and Kochs will want in on it.
        Oh hey Riley, me, used to own Clawdine Lingerie? The meals on wheels gal is going to bring me a cat, or a huge selection to choose from, doctor-prescribed, so I can keep my feet warm!

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Excellent. Where y’at?

          • george lastrapes

            Transplanted to Eugene OR. Are you a yat? Or do you know any chwammas? Venable looks French- don’t be offended- but it may be Irish. I may be fooked. Although the English Channel is thousands of miles away, The Irish Channel is close, one hears.How is that?
            Knock-knock-“Chinee food ” gotta go.
            THEY said it, not me.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Wife is a Yat. I moved to NOLA in early 80s.
            Venable is Louisiana French, since the 1740s.
            Family came from Venables, France.
            How is Oregon?

          • george lastrapes

            Lastrapes is a French name seemingly of Basque origin. Before and During the civil war, or whatever it is called, many Lastrapes were colored, and some of the (allegedly) white ones claimed (falsely, as it turned out) to own all of the colored onesI was not born yet, but if I had been, I would have been one of the ownershipn class, so say my female relatives who probably took ‘Gone with the Wind’ a little too seriously.. Wait! You really want to know about Oregon? Best Pot in the country. Spectacular scenery. The people liberal and tolerant to a fault. No good Cajun or Creole, so I hafta make my own. Wanna come visit? May be possible— Lets think about it! Got to get ready for bed (under the weather lately) but yeah let’s think about it.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            There a Venables of all colors, same thing as you about race in Louisiana. My grandfather was a Half White, Half Cherokee. I met couzans in Baton Rouge who were very light skinned Creoles. I met another Sgt. Venable in the Air Force who was from Southeast Texas and dark skinned. We couldn’t trace any common relatives, but I’ll bet someone in my family owned someone in his family once upon a time.

            Stay safe and warm. When you get your cat, try to find a “Cat Dancer” toy. Very inexpensive ( under $5), and you hold one end, fur child chases the other.
            https://m.bedbathandbeyond.com/m/product/cat-dancer-reg-interactive-cat-toy/1043194780

          • george lastrapes

            I had some friends of the Yankee persuasion during university days, and they thought it strange that my ‘cousins’ were related to me, but somehow-or-goddam-other they weren’t related to me,and the explanations didn’t make any sense (Claude Levi-Strauss study shows kinship in ‘primitive’ societies is complicated as string theory, Google it up!) They were especially confused that the cuzzes and I didn’t hate one another/////////
            I just deleted a bunch more because I’m sure some of those people are still out there and consider it their mission to—

          • george lastrapes

            Funny anecdote. In Tx, early 70’s, knew a dark (close to ebony) black girl who sounded like Muffy from Sigma Chi (whitest of sororities). NO ONE hearing only her voice would have guessed. Not just vocab and intonation and all that, but the timbre. It was uncanny. (Nice, nice girl, though, grew up in surprisingly unprejed Dallas.)
            We met this white guy reddish blonde beard and all pink skin (pink and orange a baaad color combo.) He sounded black the way she sounded white, cuz he was from Louisiana, and raised by black servants on a big farm. Black English was his first language!
            Let’s call them Whitey and Melany. Won’t say their real names for reasons—-
            When they met (we introduced them) they immediately knew why we had introduced them and what they would do with it. Mostly they didn’t have to do anything, the voices were so incongruous that people were speechless stopped in their tracks! If they sat together in a restaurant the waiter couldn’t get their orders right, Whity talking, waiter nodding at Melanie, who says, Muffylike, ‘Why ever are you looking at me, when it is Whitey speaking?’ (Imagine coy ‘upspeak’ (google it) and Whitey says, ‘Yo, right why you be doin’ that ?’ And so on. I guess you had to be there.

    • The Electoral College was SUPPOSED to be the failsafe to putting a bad hombre into the Chief Magistracy. But it’s been overriden by partisanship for ages. Time to abolish – and to NATIONALISE presidential elections, by which I mean a FEDERAL department to run the Presidentials, not easily gerrymandered/infiltrated state governments.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        The Electoral College was set up to keep the Great Unwashed from picking a President. “Cooler Heads” from the Aristocracy chose the President.

        We The People only started voting for our Senators about 100 years ago (17th Amendment).

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    It sucks, but you get used to it.
    – Poland, Romania, Hungary, Bulgaria, Albania, Czechoslovakia

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Republicans really need to quit Stalin on fixing this.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I wish the GOP would walk out on a pier Andropov.

    • GoutMachine

      Especially that last one, which doesn’t exist anymore!

    • Let’s all remember how Stalinism took over all those countries. The Red Army didn’t just walk in and set up a dictatorship. They started all nice and legal, with the Communists as a minority in a coalition anti-Nazi government. But then “accidents” started happening to some of the other party leaders. And the rest of the other party leaders saw which way the wind was blowing and “willingly” supported moving to permanent Communist rule. See the parallels?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Eyup. All we’re waiting for is for the ‘accidents’ to start.

  • GlazedHaim

    Why try to minimize with “just a few” if there’s no evidence? Because there’s a ton of fucking evidence.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Only a few states were successfully hacked.

    Florida
    Utah
    Colorado
    Kentucky

    Texas
    Hawaii
    Arizona
    Tennessee

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Voice of reason, but then voice of “Oh My Fucking Dog We Are So Fucked!”:

    It’s not that the Russians were hacking the vote, so no worries on that end.

    They WERE hacking the voter ROLLS, which means that they could do what we’ve been accusing the Republicans of all along: Making sure that legally, accurately registered people (usually, people of color) are prevented from voting. THIS is why the Rs are being so quiet about it: they approve.

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      They used the data to create their Facebook targeting campaign.

  • coozledad

    We can fix it with one weird trick. But we can’t talk about it because pearls would have to be clutched.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Moar like heads will roll and wallets might need to be emptied.

  • Spurning Beer

    Out of 21 states attacked, only “an exceptionally small number” were penetrated.

    Zero would be an exceptionally small number, but then they would have said “none.” One would have been a fairly small number, but they probably would have said “only a single one.” So I’m guessing it was two states. I sure would like to know if they were states whose official vote total favored Donald Tic-tacs.

    • DrBigHead

      Zero should be the only acceptable number. Anything other than that should engender rage and action across the political spectrum. But that would only be the case if we had a functioning democracy.

      • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

        And only if it was white people’s votes being suppressed. But because it’s blahs and wimmenz, Russia saved America from libtards and teh Jooz. Braise the Lard.

      • And an electorate who values country above party. They are setting up their children for enslavement.

        Even the 0.01%ers aren’t safe. Putin took half the wealth from his oligarchs after making an example out of one of them.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Nothing WILL be done, not by the GOP. They will never admit that their hold on power is illegitimate.

  • gnomemansanisland

    It’s pee hookers all the way down.

  • Michael Smith

    Putin’s plan was ingenious. Not just because they were able to hack our election, but because the person they chose to be President tapped perfectly into the most violently resentful strand of American consciousness.

    Thus, the Putinists wouldn’t have to worry about getting caught once they succeeded. Any suggestion that foreign malfeasance aided Trump, however true, would be met with outrage among his supporters and counter-accusations that create a downward spiral of institutional mistrust. This will give the Putinists their ultimate victory: our entire democratic system will be destroyed, and we will have done most of the work for them. This not only gives them a like-minded ally in Washington, but proves to those Russians fighting for democracy in their country, and to anyone fighting for democracy anywhere, that it isn’t real. Democracy cannot be achieved, so stop asking for it.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      So……. we should be rooting for Trump to nuke All the Things from orbit, because it’s the only way to be sure?

    • coozledad

      They want an anarchy friendly to systematic looting. They’re going to get it, but not the way they think. They’re going to burn with all their “I’m trash, but I have an excessive amount of money” junk.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Heh. They thought they’d be getting to keep their tax cuts for themselves.

        However, in Putin’s Economy, one merely has to “willfully partner” with a political crony or two. Honestly, they don’t eat all that much, and nobody wants to end up Magnisky-fied, anyway!

        Wait that sounded a tiny bit un-generous. I meant to say, why, they shall be just like Family, now!

  • IMPOed

    The year 2000 proved we no longer have a Constitution or rule of law or a “Representative Republic”, we should have taken to the streets then, but once the camel has gotten his nose under the tent… “We” Fucked Up!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6745e0c5d63d37a0957f91fd49bc59ca7904f0cb086274a96e0cf952307a7b52.jpg

    How We’re paying for it!

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      I guess the world really did end in Y2K after all.

      If only the Internet had permanently died as well.

    • tomamitai

      For me, the fact that nobody gave a shit that the “Brooks Brothers Riot” that ended the recount in Miami-Dade county was fomented by republican House staff members marked the end.

      • Mandorlind

        It didn’t get reported very much. I only found out about it from the rise of media critic bloggers after the fact.

  • Jgb979

    If the number of states attacked is less than zero it’s a goddamn act of war.

  • Jezzam

    Rex Tillerson: Welp, nothing we can do about it. Russia decided Russia decides our elections, folks.

    • Nockular cavity

      Let’s break up our military while we’re at it because, hey, the enemy might change tactics, and then what would we do?

      • eyelashviper

        Open the jails, fire all the cops, and firemen also too. Maybe docs and nurses, cause people are just gonna get sick and die anyway.

    • Republicans: no longer just the party of “no” but now the party of why bother?.

      Republicans: “we’ve got the guns, but we won’t use ’em cause home invaders are scary!

  • Ya ding dang dumb libels! How else is the Republicans gonna stop all the ding dang dumb libel’s ungodly comminism from destroying the country unlessin’ they have a permanent majority, hunh? How else is they going to get that thar permanent majority what they don’t sell out to the communisit Ruskies? It is just logical! Iffn all y’all ding dang dumb libels would jus’ embrace good ol’ god-fearin’ ‘Merican values and up hold ever’thang that made this here country great, you’d realize that ‘nd the Republicans wouldn’t hafta be elling us to the Ruskies! Damn Obama! Ding dang dumb libels.

  • BigCSouthside

    If financial companies took the same “oh well we can’t stop it” approach to cyber security, fucking no one would have money anymore

    • brucej

      [cough]Equifax[cough]

  • Nockular cavity

    “I wouldn’t worry about that stabbing damaging your internal organs, because an exceptionally small number of them were actually successfully penetrated.”

    “Wow, thanks, Doc, I was worried there for a while!”

  • eyelashviper

    If you think that the Trumpanzees and the far right media are denying this and supporting the Balding Dotard, just read up on the latest Purity Pony insanity…

    https://www.truthdig.com/articles/russian-hackers-targeted-u-s-defense-contractors-report-says/

  • Bitter Scribe

    In Illinois they have what seems like a good voting system: It’s digital, but it produces a paper printout that you get to see through a window before you finalize your vote.

    • eyelashviper

      We have a system in our county in Florida where we fill out a paper ballot and then it is scanned, which seems reasonable, but according to computer experts, any of those systems can be easily hacked. Given the re-election of that Ghoul Scott, I am convinced of that.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah.

  • ziggywiggy

    So does that mean Dems have to have a bunch of extra votes to account for Russian fuckery?

    • tomamitai

      Yes, and those are in addition to the extra votes needed to account for gerrymandering in U.S. House and state legislature elections and voter suppression in all the myriad ways republicans have thunk up. It’s a good thing the Dems have more women and minorities on their side, because they’re used to having to work twice as hard to get half as much (backwards and in heels also, too).

    • brucej

      We already have to have a shit-ton extra votes just to account for Republican fuckery. Did you know that in the 2014 midterms Democratic House candidates got about 2 million more votes than GOP ones did? That’s why the Dems took back the Hous….oh wait a minute….

  • goonemeritus

    The only hope is for Democrats to start sucking-up to Putin. We know that Trump will do nothing about this until Russia decides Trump isn’t a useful idiot he is just a plain old idiot.

  • BadKitty904

    The Russian attack on the U.S. continues and the Republican Congress does…nothing.

    Russian Hackers Exploited Weakness in Defense Security
    https://www.apnews.com/cc616fa229da4d59b230d88cd52dda51/Russian-hackers-hunt-hi-tech-secrets,-exploiting-US-weakness

    Russian cyberspies pursuing the secrets of military drones and other sensitive U.S. defense technology tricked key contract workers into exposing their email to theft, an Associated Press investigation has found.

    What ultimately may have been stolen is uncertain, but the hackers clearly exploited a national vulnerability in cybersecurity: poorly protected email and barely any direct notification to victims.

    • IMPOed

      Au contraire, they are protecting the influence of interference with all they’ve got!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Cui bono?

      • BadKitty904

        The Republican Party is now owned by Russia. These defense manufacturers are all major Republican “campaign donors”.

        Russia’s not keeping the GOP in power for free…

    • Fire and Fury Demme

      These are NOT your grandparents’ Republicans!
      Where are the “commie under every bush” paranoids of yesteryear?

      • BadKitty904

        The current GOP will sell America to the Russkies, the Nazis, the robber-barons, and any of the rest of our nation’s enemies who will keep them in power and/or line their pockets.

        • Fire and Fury Demme

          Yep.
          Sad, but true.

  • Shawn Charniga
    • eyelashviper

      The Evil Elf is a damn virus, spreading pain and suffering every time he opens his mouth or signs a new horrific order.

      • Shawn Charniga

        Virus is precisely the right word.

        • eyelashviper

          And the CDC budget for eradicating and studying such threats has been cut…of course.

          • Shawn Charniga

            Kindasorta but not exactly…they’d sure love to but there are at least two more years left in this grant cycle. Lots can happen in two years.

            A friend’s research job is funded out of that pot.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        There’s a reason he had to leave Keebler; he was damaging their brand.

  • GlazedHaim

    We better dominate at curling this year since we’re so good at sweeping bullshit under the rug

  • John Thorstensen

    I remember wondering months and months ago — what if it became absolutely clear that Russia had literally stolen the election by fiddling with the vote totals in a few key states? What it it turned out that Trump really had not won? What would happen then? Could the Supreme Court declare him illegitimate and demand a do-over?

    • Fire and Fury Demme

      Good question.
      I’ve been wondering about this, (and whether we would EVER find out), a lot lately.

    • Toledo Window Box

      His candidacy should be disqualified. That would mean he and Pence and the rest of them leave, and Gorsuch gets replaced by Garland.

      But not in THIS idiot country. We are way too stupid to do the right thing.

    • brucej

      It will be like the Great IRS Scandals, when the IRS tried to enforce the law that Congress had passed and the right-wing turned all ‘Bitch why you making me hit you?’ on Lerner. The law clearly states that those myriad 504C non-profits cannot use the majority of their money on political campaigns. They were clearly and obviously in the wrong, and instead of complying with the law, they formed a mob to lynch the police.

      That, times 10000000 is precisely what would happen if it became clear that Trump’s election was fraudulent.

  • coozledad
    • RMKH

      I would rather get him with votes – take back Congress and then watch Agent Orange squeal. Like a pig. With banjo music.

      • coozledad

        Me too. But his people are violent lunatics, and he’s in up to his balls with the Russian mob. They’re going to expand their death squad operations over here, if they haven’t already, and they’re going to target their puppet’s enemies.

        BTW, the Russians enabled Sadat’s execution. They can pull the plug on Trump at any time. They own that sack of feeble meat and the clothes on his back.

        • Allen Eisenberg

          Sadat’s execution was at a military parade.

      • Dg Hacket

        How are we gonna do that? you wont even know if we win or lose. Some Republican fuckhead will just tell us we lost, and we’ll have to take his word gor it

    • Fatalysk Barnes

      I was fantasizing a little differently about THE PARADE: the largest display of military might ever… while a 1-2 million person mass of peace sign carrying protesters swirl around the perimeter of it. When has something like that ever happened?

      • Clark_Nova

        Best make sure that the military leaves their ammo back at the barracks.

        • laineypc

          But that is the whole point, that Tiny Fingers gets to shoot off a big gun, go kaboom. Then people will really like him and no one will say mean things about him. If a protester or two stand in front of that gun, that’s their problem.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Wingnuts wil accuse protesters of hating the military.

        Hell, they freak out enough about folks kneeling during a song.

        The part that worries me is a successful false flag attack during this useless parade. Imagine if a terrorist managed to pull something off, and they pointed at the protesters as the origin. Reichstag Fire II.

        Jesus. I guess I better loosen my tinfoil hat a little so I can I eat some Alex Jones Trucker Speed™ now.

    • Clark_Nova

      Save the parade for the State Funeral.

  • OTB

    Russian hacking is the new gerrymandering. The 35% and falling GOP of old white fucks can’t win without them.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And Nobody Fucking Cares.

    This shit is far from over. Fight on, people!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c3b15c598de4d8591936101e27f7f339fc96e17bbe23c17b3be4852d8c569c5e.jpg

  • Gorillionaire

    They accomplished plenty just by damaging the integrity of US elections in general. If the GOP goes down in defeat in November there will be plenty of boo-hoos crowing about the “rigged election” and it will go on forever.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Doing little to nothing is the American Way.

  • BrianW

    So, if I were a conspiracy theory guy I would have to say that it now appears that John Stormer got it almost right in None Dare Call It Treason. All he got wrong was just WHO the traitorous elites were/are.

    (NOTE: I am not a conspiracy theory guy.)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “The point is, if it’s their intention to harm Americans, ISIS is going to find ways to do that. We can take steps, but this is something that, once they decide they are going to do it, it’s very difficult to pre-empt it.”

    Imagine the fucking outcry FFS…

    • I can imagine it easily; it would be silence.

      Where was the outcry when Dubya announced that he wasn’t going to hunt for bin Laden anymore – he “Didn’t care about that guy.”

      Silence. A few liberals pointed out the hypocrisy, but they weren’t discussed in mainstream news. Boooorring.

  • BadKitty904
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Diebold got out of the voting machine business because the tomfoolery surrounding their voting machines was undermining their credibility as ATM vendors.

      • Clark_Nova

        They just spun off new divisions without the Diebold name and sold the voting machine business to them.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I don’t know about Diebold except that I wish they would just die as a company. We can forget the bold part.

      • BadKitty904

        But their friend$ in the Republican Party would mi$$ them $o…

  • YouInDangerGirl!

    A midday fantasy:

    Me, in my alter-ego as star reporter for The Wonderful Times:

    “Secretary Tillerson, what is the thoughtful and comprehensive plan that you, ex-Exxon CEO and current holder of one of the most powerful government appointments in the most powerful country the planet has ever known, have crafted to ensure that there will be no continued interference in our election process by one of our greatest historical enemies?”

    Secretary Tillerson: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    The best and the brightest, indeed.

    We’re fucked, y’all. I now consider myself American only by misfortune of birth.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tillerson’s retirement is dependent on Rosnef.

  • Mavenmaven

    What the GOP people at the top are urgently trying to fix is the getting caught part; “how can we really get them to flip elections our way, undetected”

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Yep. We know why the Repubs aren’t going after the Russians.

      • Shawn Charniga

        Or vice versa. Remember?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Villago Delenda Est

      On the right there.

    • boll ocks

      Ill take Number Two for 1000, Alex.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    We’re just winding up the mighty “Russian hacked the 2018 election” Wurlitzer so that when Dems take the House and the Senate, the Republicans can scream “collusion” at the top of their lungs and swear it was rigged, rigged, rigged.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Fuck. I bet you’re exactly right.

      • puredog

        That’s really depressing, but why should this day be unlike any other day?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          The optimist in me (shockingly, not dead yet) wants to think that since we know they’re going to pull this crap we can prepare against it, but I’m also all too aware that we have a habit of snatching defeat from the jaws of yadda yadda rinse and repeat.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • h4rr4r

      Holy Projection Batman!

    • Professor Fate

      The man has as they say ‘issues’ and more projection than a multi-plex.
      And dear lord to suggest Obama who was the one who tossed out all those Russians and closed a couple of properties they owned because they were using it for electronic eavesdropping and insisted on sanctions is a friend of the Russians is simply insane.
      One does wonder in a sick way how he is going to deal with say Trump and his clan fleeing to Russia to avoid criminal proceedings against them.

      • ryp

        Something about a swamp, the deep state, and Obama’s head on a snake.

    • Fire and Fury Demme

      Really.

    • RMKH

      Gosh he’s so talented

    • puredog

      You’re going to have to post trigger warnings before Garrison cartoons. I just got this computer, and can’t well afford to throw a brick through the screen.

    • Daniel

      He realises he’s accusing Obama of loving Russia because of surveillance of Russian agents, right?

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Can’t have cognitive dissonance if there’s no cognition!!

        TAKE THAT LIBTORTS!

    • Ben STILL can’t draw

      • Cletus Safari

        Actually, I think he draws well.

        It’s thinking straight he can’t do.

        • Compare, a moment, with any other cartoon style, the execution of this work. A few things might stand out to you.
          Firstly, there’s no consistency from figure to figure. Each figure is actually drawn in a different style, from the big headed Obama caricature to the over lined Hillz to the…lazy blob form of Adam.
          His perspective is also really wanting, hence why the fountain here looks as if the back of the base is floating, for some reason. Maybe it was intentional, will give space that it might be he on purpose wanted the back to float and the front to be anchored to the ground.
          His shading is ridiculous – how many light sources does he have, 5? There are 5 suns?
          And the fact that he feels so insecure in his composition that he feels the need to label the subjects is, well, frankly laughable.
          I will stand by my statement: Ben still can’t draw.

          • Upvote for a proper skewering.

  • Fire and Fury Demme

    Maybe THEY don’t care.
    But WE fuckin’ care!

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    PAPER BALLOTS READ ALOUD IN THE MOTHERFUCKING TIMES SQUARE WITH TWO WITNESSES FROM BOTH PARTIES.

  • Fire and Fury Demme

    I wonder if my Permanent Absentee Vote in CA is OK?

    • puredog

      California, Oklahoma — MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

      • Fire and Fury Demme

        Huh?
        Please to explain.
        I live in San Francisco, and am confuzzled.
        (P.A.V. is one of the things you can sign up for in CA. We did it to avoid computers, and to submit paper ballots.)

        • Paper ballots is the way to go for sure. So we don’t get results by 9 pm the same night. Big deal

          • SDGeoff3

            I switched back to voting in person two elections ago. Personally, I don’t believe we need to know the winner according to the principles and schedule of cable news.

          • I always vote in person, but mostly cause I like going XD

          • SDGeoff3

            Mmm-hmm. It’s a nice long walk for me, and I do enjoy going to the polls. I always have Stories afterward.

  • WiscoJoe

    Yes, but George W. Bush believed (or lied about) faulty intelligence leading us into the Iraq War, so it wouldn’t even be fair to expect other Republicans who also believed (or lied about) faulty Iraq War intelligence to do anything regarding any other other national security measures, except for the security stuff that the Republicans care about.

    That’s how this is all working now, right?

  • Mike Minden

    “We are so fucked.”

    Yes, yes we are. Stories like this make me question what the point is in carrying on. I have borderline anxiety attacks watching the news, the internet (even Wonkette) depresses me, and I sometimes suffer hyper-vigilance just going to the store. I wonder which of my neighbors will join the death squads when Trump makes his move to become god-emperor.

    How do people carry on when there is so little hope left?

    • RMKH

      Personally I have to retain some hope for that exact reason – to carry on. Maybe I’m delusional but so be it. Resist!

    • Cat Cafe

      If you step back for a moment, you see there is actually plenty of hope. I mean, for all the language about how this is Germany in the 1930s (from myself included), it actually isn’t. We still have an actual free press; things are still being reported, including in the large newspapers like the Washington Post. Businesses are still open. Banks are still functioning. The courts and justice system has actually been very effective at stopping many of the worst attempts by Trump and his thugs. The government continues to function. There is an enormous web of bureaucrats and functionaries who actually do the day to day work. We have strong, decent Democratic governors and state legislators and state DA’s working hard and effectively to stop most of the nonsense.

      More encouragingly, we are actually electing many, many Democrats. We’ve flipped about 50 seats nationwide so far, in state legislations and governorships. We elected Doug Jones in a deep-red state! Alabama! We nearly flipped the Virginia legislation! If Dems can control state legislations, they can stop gerrymandering; that’s a state-level issue. And they are beginning to, despite fierce fighting against it.

      The public is making its voice heard, and the public is visibly, and by far in the majority, against Trump and his indecencies. We don’t have crowds in the street cheering Trump and his thugs–we have crowds in the street angrily and loudly protesting.

      Mueller still is on the job, and making huge progress. He’s the man who managed to put the untouchable top Mafia don, John Gotti, behind bars. He’s assembled a superteam of attorneys who specialize in terrorism, money laundering, and worse. He’s already arrested four people–several of them months before we found out, which means he’s almost certainly arrested more, and flipped more.

      Trump’s base is actually quite small and quite ineffective; their voice is hugely and endlessly amplified by bots and trolls, most of them Russian, on Twitter and everywhere else in social media.

      It’s almost impossible to stay away from social media, especially for us anxious sorts, but the truth is, social media is designed to be agitating. Try to include positive informational sites like Palmer Report. Try to limit your time online. Whenever you can step away, you’ll feel better.

      • AnniNoone

        Thank you. I needed that very much.

      • Even though large tracts of the nation and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of Trumpism and all the odious apparatus of GOP rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Congress, we shall fight in the state capitals and governorships, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the press, we shall defend our rights, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight in the blogs, we shall fight in the comment sections, we shall fight in social media and in the streets, we shall fight with word and deed; we shall never surrender…. until the Democratic Party, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of our land.

        • Cat Cafe

          We few, we happy few, we band of brothers and sisters;
          For he or she to-day that dons their pussyhat with me
          Shall be my brother or sister; be they ne’er so vile,
          This day shall gentle their condition;
          And rubes in rural backwoods too lazy to get off the couch
          Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here, were they to actually, you know, think
          And hold their personhoods cheap whiles any speaks
          That fought with us upon Saint Mueller’s day.

          • you were giving me life before the HV transcription (i played Alice once. love that play…).

            thanks for all this.

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      Because it beats rolling over. I know it sounds trite, but sometimes the overly-testosteroned dandruff-fountain high school gym coach types are right… you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

    • The-Timbuktutu

      Dude, chill. See a professional if you need to. You might need to get offline for a while.

      • The-Timbuktutu

        Edited above because I thought I was on Raw Story, lol!

  • brucej

    And the GOP will sail on, unconcerned at all, because the Russians won’t ever decide it’s their turn in the barrel…

    And what the ever-loving-FUCK is an exceptionally small number??

    One? Two? Twenty?

    Best guess is that Trump actually won by a margin of about 3-5000 votes in the right precincts in the right states throwing the electoral college to him. Compared to the total vote count (~135 million votes) 5000 is an an exceptionally small number.

    But who cares, amiright?? Hillary lost because the was the neoliberal-est warmonger to ever neoliberally warmonger and no one liked her *at all* especially the MAJORITY of Americans who VOTED FOR HER!!!

    • i’ve been saying since the election:

      the ONLY assurance that has not been ripped apart is the assurance that our actual votes were not tampered with and of COURSE our actual votes were tampered with.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        I thought that was the weirdest part of this whole thing.

        “NO VOTES WERE TAMPERED WITH!”

        “How do you know this?”

        “The wealthy folks who normally buy elections showed us their receipts! Duh! Oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to say that part out loud.”

  • Daniel

    “An exceptionally small number” implies more than one.
    Remind me how many states swung the Electoral College for Trump?

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    We could always vote with pieces of paper and pencils. They are hard to hack. I hate to say it about Donny John’s refusal to use a computer (and I won’t because his reasons are doubtless nefarious) but maybe the presidents* Luddite tendencies when it comes to the Internet age have a sliver of an aspect about them that could — at least when it comes to the vote — save us all.

  • Ninja0980

    Just a hunch but if we saw the list of the states, they would all be swing states that Jill Stein made a point to visit.

    • Cat Cafe

      And that Hillary actually DID visit, repeatedly, but it was so much fun to invent that she didn’t so they could blame her

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    Probs just a coincidence but “an exceptionally small number” is also how many states swung to Baby Hands to give him the election.

    • george lastrapes

      Rather like saying, say, ‘an exceptionally small number of sucking chest wounds’ means that the person is in the very pink of health.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    We all need to get people registered, and volunteer to be poll watchers. 2018 will be good practice.
    Remember, the GOP presidential candidate has only won the popular vote once in the last 7 elections.
    Incumbent GOP House members are dropping like debutants with the vapors. GOTV!

  • Hardly Ideal

    It’s sounding more and more like we need air gaps. Go back to paper ballots. Keep those voter rolls off the network as much as possible. They’ll still be able to hack our brains because we’re a nation of gullible fucks, but it’s hard to hack something you need to touch in-person.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Well, actactual blockchains would be excellent at maintaining electoral integrity.

  • Paperless Tiger

    The vote tabulation software would be seem to be the obvious target. A handful of agents could cover the software companies and affect nearly all the votes, including paper ballots that are counted by scanners. Since our votes are counted by privately owned software, it may only rise to the level of industrial sabotage. Hacking into the voter roles may be a necessary step or possibly just a diversion.

    • LiberalANDProud

      Yes, clearly we should not have any more elections until all this is rectified.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Well, there’s always been election tampering, but there may be some new twists in the digital age.

        • LiberalANDProud

          So, you will be in agreement if the Congress decides to suspend elections indefinitely until we get to the bottom of this matter?

          Ok. Thanks. Got it.

          • Daniel

            Yes, that’s exactly what they said. The only way to stop a foreign nation hacking elections is to go full authoritarian and ban elections, his cleverly you’ve spotted that this is the real argument and not a stupid straw man.

          • Daniel

            You are making a profoundly stupid point here.

          • LiberalANDProud

            I guess u saw Hillary winning. We’ll see who the stupid one is..

          • Daniel

            You are tilting against a straw man. That is a stupid argument to make.

          • Shane

            I feel like not only is this a deeply stupid thing to say, but you have said it about a dozen times now.

            What is stupid to the power of 12?

          • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

            Devin Nunes? No wait, 6 MilliGohmerts?

            DANGIT! Y U MATH?!

          • Shane

            I believe a “Nunes” is to the power of 9. That could be 5 milliGohmerts though.

      • Dorothy called. She wants her scarecrow back.

  • LiberalANDProud

    So, I assume that with all this Russian chicanery that Wonkette and the Wonketeers will be in agreement with the right wing when it’s decided to hold off anymore elections until every single voting machine in every single State is secured and identities properly confirmed.

    Ok. Got it.

    • Daniel

      Yes, that seems like an utterly logical conclusion from reading the article.

    • Yes, because obviously because shit is going down because machines are hacked, the only recourse is to not do anything until the machines are safe. Instead of, idk, paper ballots.

      • Daniel

        Both sides are the same! Complacency is the best defence!

        • Don’t bother voting because that will learn em to listen to you!!!!!

  • MANGO CRIMES

    Hardly any Presidential elections were affected

  • LiberalANDProud

    “We can’t be Russian to judgement.” – Devin Nunes

    • Cat Cafe

      If Ukraine your neck, you can see Russia from your front porch

  • YaJagoff

    trump is lickin’ the trufflebutter off Putins’ dick and I think he’s enjoyin’ it.

    • ryp

      “Who’s a good boy, Trump’s a good boy. Yes he is. He’s a good boy.”

  • YaJagoff

    We need more outrage.

    • sffoghorn

      No, there is plenty of outrage, they are simply not performing it correctly.

  • sffoghorn

    Is there any evidence that these voter files were tampered with? That should be quite simple to detect.

  • TootsStansbury

    If any one of these Tr*mp motherfuckers looks behind a desk and says “No Russians here! Teehee!” I might have to cut a bitch.

  • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

    “Well, they’re gonna do it and that’s just how it is?” Gee, wish they felt the same way about sex ed. Ratfucking is the only kind they’re OK with…

  • Mike

    Yep, Evan…We are so fucked
    I feel like Charlton Heston on the shoreline with Nova standing in front of the head of the Statue of Liberty…”Damn you you dirty Orange Ape…!!!”

  • Y0UT00B3R1

    Anyone who was checking on RT saw all of this Kremlin Kock Sucka Russian Propaganda Fuckery coming eons ago…and, the apathetic response from the people. Shit…even target #1 Hillary and her peeps didn’t care until it was way too late?? Welp…at least I learned about Wonkette/Sarah Benincasa in the process…¯_(ツ)_/¯ Thanks Russia 🖕🇷🇺🖕

    • Pretty sure Hillary and her peeps, aka, the Dems, did care before it was too late but could not do much of a thing with president bone spurs and St. Bernie himself screaming rigged rigged rigged, falsely, the entire time.
      Weird how that worked.

      • Y0UT00B3R1

        Hillary was a major target a long-long time ago…even when the Kremlin was still dishing Van Jones rubles to “crap on her” via the Obama administration. Now he’s cryin’ foul on CNN…weird how that worked, indeed. If she/they really cared and knew, they should have done/said more.

        • Hillary was a long time target of the GOP. She went on the news a few times and said just that and everyone had a cow that she was paranoid and whatever.
          Also, dunno if you know this or not, but Admins tend not to go tellin the public “This other country is out to git me!” all the time. For various reasons, but the chief of these is called national security.
          They knew, they cared, they have a paper trail a mile long they gave to the proper intelligence agencies to check out.

      • Y0UT00B3R1

        …And, you can’t just blame the Orange Fuccboi and St. Bernie…RT and the Kremlin played a MAJOR role in hyping-up Jill and Johnson since the 2012 election…this time, even more. None of this was new…they just succeeded this time.

        • I do not think I was just blaming orange von fuckstick and Bernie. I did however say it would not have played well for Obama to say “rigged” after all the repeated screaming from right and left about things being rigged. Ponder a moment how you think that would have played out.

          • Y0UT00B3R1

            I think it would have been a catalyst to things being a lot better, sooner, than this heap of apathetic bullshit we’ve all got to deal with now.

            They way RT went after Obama, and the fact he was done…I don’t feel that he had anything to loose.

            Look, all I was sayin’ was what **I** saw and felt checkin’ on RT for years and two Presidential elections. I don’t really care about the hypotheticals or the GOP, b/c The GOP obviously doesn’t care about any of us, and they are all Kremlin enablers.

          • Ducksworthy

            Imagine what would have happened if Mitch McConnell, or whatever Manchurian his wife has replaced him with, had not told Obama and the FBI that if they revealed that the FBI was investigation Trump that he would scream that Obama, the FBI and Hillary were trying rig the election. He got his Trump, his SCOTUS appointee and his tax cut and now they’re all yelling that Obama, the FBI and Hillary were in league with the Russians to rig the election. None of these people can negotiate anything in good faith.

      • president bone spurs and St. Bernie himself screaming rigged rigged rigged, falsely

        Not “falsely”.

        Trump was bragging.

  • tinker12
    • Delu

      And there are riots over this yes? The congress, with members on BOTH sides of the partisan aisle, are crying blue murder and doing their utmost to put pressure on Trump to do his job, and impeachment proceedings are already underway yes?

      No?

      Well then congratulations, this is what the first step to a dictatorship looks like.

      • I disagree – I think this is the fifth or seventh step or thereabouts.

        Earlier ones include: colluding with Russia, SCOTUS ruling that Fox News [sic] has no obligation to tell the truth, and refusing to accept Obama’s choice for Supreme Court justice.

  • Sakonyachen

    They do care. They care because if they don’t allow them to do it again, the Dems could win. Then their orange meal ticket will be on the way out the door, and he won’t have the ability to pardon himself or them.

    • Jackie Jones

      It seems SO easy to defeat an amateur like Trump but we live in PT Barnum’s country.

  • Ducksworthy

    The Presidency seems to have gone downhill fast. We quickly went from a President being impeached for receiving a blow job to it being OK for the President* to be giving blow jobs to the whole uncircumcised spy service or a hostile foreign enemy and nobody cares.

    • Zyxomma

      Yes, we care. And yes, we VOTE. One hopes we Ds, who outnumber the Rs almost everywhere (this goes for all those Independents/No Party people, too) turn out in OVERWHELMING FUCKING NUMBERS. Not just in 2018, but in every primary and every general, every single year. VOTE.

  • Walther von der Vogelweide

    “I don’t know that I would say we are better prepared, because the Russians will adapt, as well. The point is, if it’s their intention to interfere, they are going to find ways to do that. We can take steps, but this is something that, once they decide they are going to do it, it’s very difficult to pre-empt it.”

    So it’s kind of like how if you pass gun laws only criminals will have guns, but this time it’s laws to stop election fraud? Why don’t these ass hats understand that the punishment aspect of legislation is for taking care of the slippery ones that insist on breaking laws no matter how much you look at them sternly and tell them not to?

    All the more reason to make sure everyone you know votes, ’cause the only way to stop a bad guy with a ballot is a good guy with a ballot. We’re on our own, kids.

    • Bebecca

      And it’s exactly like how we don’t have speed limits because everyone would just speed anyway.

      • Petunia Cat

        Or lock your doors. Because crooks will just break stuff to get in.

      • Walther von der Vogelweide

        At this point, I don’t know how the “law and order” party justifies having any laws at all. There’s always someone breaking them.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Replacing “speed limits” with “raising taxes” in your analogy, and you pretty much have an acual excuse George W. Bush gave for why we shouldn’t raise taxes on the wealthy.

    • Jackie Jones

      Russia knows how stupid we are.

    • Boojum

      Well, shit, you know, if Russia is going to steal our election, there’s just not much we can do about it, know what I mean? They’re just too smart.

  • i knew it i knew it and i’ve said it over and over and over again.

    since 11/9, the ONLY fucking assurance that hasn’t fallen by the wayside is the assurance that our actual votes weren’t fucked.

    our actual votes were fucked.

    and russia officially voted peestain into office.

  • Zyxomma

    I don’t know what a Virginia-style paper ballot is, but NY uses paper ballots that are scanned by a machine. If any election — local, state, or federal — is too close to call, or close enough to trigger a recount, the paper ballots are available for said hypothetical recount.

    • arrrghle

      This works if combined with routinely manually auditing a few randomly selected precincts.

      Otherwise they just have to hack the counting software which is not tough to do.

      • Petunia Cat

        In Canada we have little pieces of paper a little bigger than a Post-it and golf pencils. They’re counted by hand. How can they do it so quickly? I don’t know, I guess they just have a shitload of people doing it. ✏️

        • Akat

          And let me guess, it’s important enough in Canada that there are actual paid employees to do it.

          • george lastrapes

            Now you can’t tell me that we don’t pay our Russian guest workers enough for the wonderful job they are doing!

        • Peter Regan

          Yup, I’ve done it in several elections and one referendum. The oppo party reps watch and can question my decision, but I have the final say. I’m mad with power I tell’s ya.

          • george lastrapes

            I guess you (Canadians in general, not just you in particular) use your power only for good, because you’ve never invaded Wisconsin. But I think it would be only for good if you mounted an incursion into Wisconsin and took Paul Ryan with you, as you would be hailed as heroes by all the right people, by which I mean all leftists.

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    The Trumpdisciples are fine with it, cuz he’s gonna protect them from all those black & brown people who make them so uncomfortable, and keep uppity wimmin & gayz in line.

    • Jackie Jones

      Read Trumpsicles and I’m going with you

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    Oh stop it Evan! Like crippling Russia with economic sanctions that they HATE and will eventually rally opposition against putin will do anything!! PFFFTTTT!!!!

  • Jackie Jones

    OT I think Crooks n Liars are stealing your style now, Evan!

  • george lastrapes

    I’ve thought for a long time that the Electoral College should decide, for instance, whether Pepsi outsells Coke; or how does it feel to be one of the beautiful people; or who won the Super Bowl, rather than getting the most points. These are things too complicated and important to be left to voters or football fans or non-plutocrats.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Perhaps a fair assesment for the penalty would be to shave a mere fraction off of one’s future Rosneft shares?

      • george lastrapes

        Let me see how that would affect my bottom line…..

      • george lastrapes

        Perhaps my accountant, an associate of a Mr. Carter Page, can advise me.

    • Akat

      Thanks Electoral College.

      • Boojum

        The Electoral College is the only college Trumpians don’t believe is full of communist hippy libtards.

        • george lastrapes

          If you graduate from the electoral college, you are assured admission into Trump University.

  • boll ocks

    I just can’t even be surprised anymore.
    Angry, though? Yeah, I can still get righteously pissed off. I can stay that way for years, even!

    • javadavis

      What’s to be surprised? Does anyone else remember the report of Trump and, I don’t remember who, maybe Trump Jr. sitting in a restaurant in Philly picking out the states that needed to flip in order for the electoral college vote to go to Trump? It didn’t have to be more than a few, they just had to flip three.

      • Bridget Malone

        I have maintained this from the beginning. Not that difficult or even noticeable. Just a few precincts in the right places.

        • javadavis

          Seems like there was a lot of official talk of maintaining confidence in the election process. Also seems like it would be more beneficial to keep have kept the process trustworthy. Even chicanery in individual districts would have been better than sliding down the rabbit hole of hackable voting mechanisms.
          (I am, as usual, reminded of a sci fi tale from years ago – something about votes being done online, some congress person having the tech savvy to fix a bad passcode that had been issued to the rivals of the bad politicians and allow the vote that had been blocked – and the result was him being accused of tampering.)

      • Mike Steele

        Does anyone else remember Ryan, McCarthy, Scalise, et. al. discussing the fact that DJT was in the tank for Russia (summer of ’16), but deciding to keep that little fact ‘in the family’? ‘Splains ALL that’s going on.

    • Peter Regan

      I still want Cheney and dubya hung and slit open. Um in theory. And I’ve been misquoted…etc.

  • arrrghle

    So are we finally going to stop hearing about how Hillary Lost Because Flawed And Bad At Candidating And No Misogyny You’re The Misogyny Just Not This Woman?

    (Rhetorical. I know the answer.)

  • Petunia Cat

    Bush’s comments were pathetically weak. He could’ve said look this is going on, something needs to be done about it now. Even that would be incredibly wet. Some of them are complicit and others just have this weird dog-like submissiveness. And probably some are fatalists. And your ZZZZZZZZZ about Tillerson made me suddenly remember that I had totally forgotten one of the cabin secretaries drools in meetings. Think on that. 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 👔

    • Ducksworthy

      Only one?

    • Mark Breitinger

      Your cogent analysis ignores the fact that VLAD HAS THE KOMPROMAT ON ALL THESE FUCKERS, KATIE

  • Georgia

    Gℴℴgle offers the people 99 US dollars per/hr to complete small jobs on a home computer .. Do job Some just few peroid of time daily & stay greater time with your own loved ones … any individual can also benefit this simple job!!!this Wednesday I purchased a great Lotus Elise just after making $12659 this six weeks .it looks my favourite-job however you may not forgive yourself if you don’t check it.!ee711r:➛➛➛ http://GooglePrimeEarnMoneyFromHome/earn/99$/hourly ♥♥v♥♥♥r♥♥w♥♥♥d♥♥♥t♥♥v♥j♥♥♥x♥u♥♥♥t♥♥♥h♥v♥♥h♥♥♥s♥i♥♥a♥♥e♥♥♥l♥♥e♥♥s♥♥♥n♥♥♥f♥v♥♥h♥♥j:::::!px732x:lh

  • Werewolf

    “66 million to a *handful of fucking morons*” aka Aqua Buddha and Bernie Fucking Sanders.

  • Vicious Babushka

    “An exceptionally small number of states” like 3.

    • george lastrapes

      Exceptionally small is (4/50)x (4/200),very roughly, is four states (of fifty) times the number of precincts needed to flip the votes to gain a Trump win and the Russians were in the system but the Republicans won’t say where because it’s just no big thing. A prank, basically, and all the fine young people involved are being let off with warnings instead of small fines.

  • Akat

    Jesus Christ interfering with even 1 record is terrifying. It’s so disappointing to now find out that the USSR won the Cold War, since they can just commit acts of war on the US without causing anyone to blink, let alone retaliate.

  • Peter Regan

    Up here in Canuckistan we do paper ballots counted by hoomans….I’ve done this several times. With witnesses from all parties. We’re 40 million up here but there’s no frigging with the results. Much larger countries do the same.

    • george lastrapes

      Quit bragging about your backwardness. Quaint, but sad. There are firms- Kaspersky comes to mind- that will gladly help, and offer easy payment plans

      • george lastrapes

        Would you believe that some people don’t recognize this as a joke? I blame the pathological state of the noosphere for that- the fact that no one knows my joke is a joke, and I agree with that because holding myself responsible would be— unspeakably grandiose. Blaming myself when it is the fault of the universe! Will I ever live it down?

    • george lastrapes

      I apologised, sort of, for my unfunny joke. Below. This is the part where you say, “Everyone’s nerves are a bit frayed,” as one, especially Canadians, does, “We’ll just hev t’ poot oop w’it,” whether you mean it or not.

    • george lastrapes

      Mr. Regan! In a rather jocular mood I have left for you a meta-joke or meta-meta. even if that is meaningless to you, keep in mind it may be meaningless to me as well. But it comes apart like a Yugo and then snaps shut like a moose trap. Would you indulge me?
      Where, you may ask. I reply, “Why, in the place where first were writ the very words “Up here in Canuckistan….” 2 days ago, as of right now, in the original article and not this fatuous facsimile. Where I replied, and began to construct my electronic IED.

  • Boojum

    And some British has conducted a study showing that Trumpoids share more made up fact free bullshit than every other group of people combined. So, they obviously won’t believe this.

    • Mike Steele

      CA brother, for one, does not believe this, particularly since he got his tax cut and Hillary is still president and that goddamned bullet train they’re proposing and…
      Obama, et. al. called it. As long as Fox has their share of the market, Americans will simultaneously live on two different planets.

  • KnaveOfSwords

    While this may have been said already, I suspect (and this is, admittedly, a second-hand theory) that a big part of why the people looking into this are dragging their feet is that each new detail they uncover brings them closer to the nightmare scenario that neither they, nor anyone else, is prepared to deal with.

    Suppose that it’s revealed that among the “exceptionally small number” states that they successfully penetrated were Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin (Trump won in all 3 by less than 1%, and combined, they have enough electoral votes to have flipped the result).

    Suppose that it’s further revealed that while they may not have actually changed any votes, they did manage to delete enough Democratic voters from the roles to cause Clinton to lose them.

    At that point, we’d have evidence that DOTUS is only in office because of Russian hacking. So, then what happens?

    US laws have no provisions for this, or any other scenario where it’s proven that the results of an election should be invalid. Sure, presented with that information, it’d be clear to most people (Trump’s base will likely find reasons to argue against it) that the Clinton should be POTUS and Drumph should be out. But there’s no legal recourse to make that happen. Which leaves all the fun domestic (up to the possibility of an outright civil war) and international problems of the US having a president that everyone knows was put in place by a hostile foreign power.

    It wouldn’t even result in Trump being removed from office. Even with evidence that he should never have been president, outside of death, there’s still only 3 ways for him to be removed before 2021.

    He could resign, and if anyone thinks that he’d actually do so in response to Russia stealing the election, I have a bridge to sell you.

    Pence and his cabinet could invoke article 25, stating that he’s unable to fulfill his duties as POTUS, but Russian hacking doesn’t reflect on Donnie’s lack of ability (his ongoing insistence on ignoring reality would be, but Pence and co. have been aware of – and in position to do something about – that since the innaugeration; they’re not likely to have a change of heart anytime soon.

    Congress could impeach him. But Russia hacking the election isn’t an impeachable offense on the part of the pResident. Trump conspiring with them to steal the election, and to cover it up is, but we’re already on the way there. Whether a Republican house would actually do so, or whether Republicans in the Senate would allow him to be convicted is still up in the air.

    And even if any of those 3 did happen, that still leaves us with a stolen election and president Pence in place as a result, rather than Clinton.

    • george lastrapes

      I’ve said this before, but perhaps it bears repeating.
      We pay trump maybe 20 bil to can Pence, appoint Hillary VP then he resigns. Hil is now pres! Trump and his nears and dears are given Air force 1 and GTFO bag and baggage, pardons when they leave US airspace. Then we impeach all republicans. Bezos or Buffet or Soros will foot the bill. Kochs and Mercers may want to kick in to save their traitorous asses, but we just take all their money and make them leave anyway.. The beauty of it? It can be done in weeks, or days, or HOURS, if more money is offered. Enough and Trump’ll leave last week!

    • george lastrapes

      Mr. Knave,
      What you have written is beautiful in a melancholy way. I think of mvt 1, Shostakovich’ Symphony 11. (Youtube. Gergiev conducting. High volume- the music is barely a whisper, but keep close to the vol control as it rises to much higher volume in places.)
      Before you listen, I must warn you, I have wept to hear it, even long before the current crisis. It has a theme of the destruction of a people’s hopes for decency, Shostakovich was ‘one of us’, but the music is refracted through the broken prism of Soviet history to become —harrowing. (The once- appropriate adjectives have lost their power) But this is true: Shostakovich lived much of his life in the knowledge that Stalin had plans to kill him and his family, just one more misstep—
      Because Shostakovich’ music was ‘anti-soviet.The notes, the chords, the melodies. How, you say. But it was, and is yet to this day.
      Not the titles, the words of songs, the plots of operas. These were supplied by Stalin’s stable of artistic-musical-literary hacks, who could and did get killed at Stalin’s whim themselves.
      Before I read your piece I put together the manic screed below. I certainly intended no disrespect and offer my apologies for seeming to flout your- our– grief.
      But I can offer this.
      You may, or quite probably, know that a grim first movement of a symphony is followed very often by a ‘scherzo’ (Italian for ‘joke’) which serves to lighten the mood of the first movement. Or deepen it, as Shostakovich often did, with sarcastic, screeching, mock-heroic military tunes; parodies of patriotic songs (deftly done so Stalin never quite knew); rhythms in tubas and piccolos (!) that mimicked and mocked the oddly mincing gait of the 20th century’s runner-up mass murderer; &c &c &c…..
      So, perhaps my snark is not so inappropriate after all.

  • george lastrapes

    “Would selling the USA to the Russians for pennies on the dollar fuck up the Democrats, Kellyanne?”
    “Why, it certainly would, Mr. President– and destroy everything patriots have held dear for—”
    “What are we waiting for? That’s what we promised the American People, isn’t it?”
    ‘When you put it that way–”
    “Just fuckin do it!”

  • george lastrapes

    Someone in the WH cut such a nasty fart today that for a while the main concern was not her emails, but his entrails.

  • george lastrapes

    “Trump DOJ Announces Fines for Treason, Collusion not to Exceed $50”

  • george lastrapes

    Rats leaving the sinking ship (of state)?
    No. they are devouring it, leaving and coming back with friends, planning litters, and eating some more, apparently happy as canned clams.

    • george lastrapes

      Can I not reply to myself? I think i got blocked from reolying to myself. Is there some recourse to wonkette authorities? Can I not explain myself, to someone? Have I not been a well-behaved, or at least grudgingly tolerated, participant for many months? I have asked myself why have I become so tedious lately. I have thought- in the moment- that I have been mistreated, wondering only later, ‘Could it be me?’ I have even lashed out (only verbally) to my nears and dears even when they are near——-my neighbor/ chaperone/advisor says avoid phrases like near and dear because it appears to irritate—-whoever, she doesn’t kno who they are and the sad thing is I don’t either. Could it be me? Who else could it be?.
      The screen seems to have gotten brighter. could it mean that someone is listening. She says don’t say anything that could be construed as a joke. She says erasure is not a good Idea, recorders you know.
      Should I just be myself, that hasn’t worked out so well for me lately. Not a joke. If it was a joke would I be being this honest? Bad thing for a suspected liar to say. Maybe I will say what I want to say the way I want to say it. I need to take a medication and wait maybe ten minutes for the affect. All this can be documented, if that makes a difference, hospotal records, medications (that list goes on) Not supposed to mention. 8 min silence?
      Back longer than 8 min. Had a dispute. Not supposed to mention something, not supposed th mention that I mentioned, and if I do God forbid that I mention that I mentioned that i you get the drift. Think I just lost my lawyer/neighbor except that she’ll still be my neighbor (means well, but what does that mean)?Because I got just one line of defense and I feel I got no choice but to use it. A minute please, to settle my nerves
      I’m old, 71, not so old you might say, I reply, I took really terrible care of my self. Your fault, you may say, and I will not disagree. Cluster headaches, COPD, far too many exacerbations this year or more accurately, winter. Six, I think, as opposed to my usual one. Five hospitalizations, rehab, then Hospice. All documentable. I’ve got piles of paper on my computer table is OT (as it is abbreviated on this website)
      Medications? seems like twenty or so. Excluding multivites, lite salt, herbal laxatives, etc. But of the others some are psychotropic like zoloft lorazepam resting just a moment a little worked up O2 I hd forgot to use it trazodone haloperidol prochlorperazine (suppositories (yik)), liquid morphine no plans to use- why so much? Hospice.All comes down to Hospice. I am at home rather than in the actual facility, but still I’m on their 3-month life expectancy list (actually a month into that) but the nurses say they would’nt be surprised If I beat that (sounds like something they say to be nice, and it soes seem like theyre reading from the same script. Wait symbicort, spiriva ,albuterol, that’s got to be most of them. The zoloft I did quit, about ten days ago, unsupervised of course, that’s me, and I spent a few uncomfortable days and then seemed all right and now I would assume my mania is caused by something else. I will definitely fess up to Nurse Susan monday that I quit.As I said, all docufiable. What else? People are telling me that if I die (IF) they will be devastated, and I don’t like it that me dying will be somebody else’s Grand Opera, me (dead) just a prop. Promising me they will be there to thevery last moment? I think death is like a bodily function, private moment, I dont like people staring at me while I’m on the toilet.
      Besides, dying is likely to be interesting, and is almost certainly the last interesting thing that will ever happen to me, and I don’t wish to be distracted.
      I’m feeling a bit manic. Maybe I’ll take another trazodone and go to sleep.
      Will this message to self remain undisturbed or disappear before my very eyes? Because I doubt that any apologies to the aggrieved parties would be acknowledged but I would like to make a general apology to all wonkette or all wonkdom or I’m really trying not to be cute with words. The last thing I wand is to further offend the aggrieved parties, one in particular. Not trying to be cute with “aggrieved parties,” just as neutral and inoffensive as possible. The pain of having delivered such an insult will stay with me the restof—-my life, pretty paltry for a dying man to say that.
      I start saying I’m sorry, I’ll probably never quit. Making all the ‘sorries’ worth less than nothing.

      • george lastrapes

        I intend to get back to my self excoriation soon. Almost said self exfoliation, rather aptly, because I feel like I’m peeling my own skin off, as though for inspection, without any idea whether it’s an acceptable offering or not. Just joking.

  • george lastrapes

    Yes indeed, Schumer is on to something. He thinks the Repugs are using Trump as a distraction, the zanier his stunts the better, the whole wacky crew, madcap even, the more attention he gets the better, an embarassment whom they are only too happy to endure–because they are stage right, selling the USA to Russia, in plain sight, unnoticed.

    Stop paying attention to Trump, he says. No way in hell, we say, we might miss something appalling!

    This is so important that I may repeat this on a more frequented page, if that is permissible, because, as I said, this is important.

  • Trofim Lysenko

    http://thehill.com/policy/cybersecurity/373423-homeland-security-calls-nbc-report-on-election-hacking-false

    The Department of Homeland Security on Monday pushed back against a recent NBC News report claiming that Russian hackers “successfully penetrated” U.S. voter roles before the 2016 elections, calling it misleading.

    “Recent NBC reporting has misrepresented facts and confused the public with regard to Department of Homeland Security and state and local government efforts to combat election hacking,” Jeanette Manfra, the department’s chief cybersecurity official, said in a statement.

    The article published by NBC last week drew on an exclusive interview with Manfra, during which she told the publication that U.S. officials observed “a targeting of 21 states and an exceptionally small number of them were actually successfully penetrated.”

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