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Christ what a fucking idiot

Pretty much every week we have a story about how House Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes is a lying crapweasel who’s wasting America’s time, and this week is no different. Recently we learned Nunes had convened a secret working group of fellow traveler GOP idiots on the Intel committee, so they could find the #SmokingGun that proves the FBI is colluding with Hillary Clinton and Russia to hurt Donald Trump’s feelings. And now they’re finished, we guess, so we can see what they found! Except for how we CAN’T see the results of their work, because Nunes won’t show us.

It all started on Friday, conveniently the morning after the House Intelligence Committee released the transcript of its interview with Glenn Simpson, the co-founder of Fusion GPS, which commissioned the British spy work that became THE DOSSIER. (We liveblogged ALL ONE MILLION PAGES of it!) Of course, as that testimony showed, and as Simpson’s earlier testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee showed, GOP conspiracy theories about how the FBI conspired with Hillary Clinton and Satan to #Pizzagate THE DOSSIER into existence are absolutely full of shit. Nunes ain’t want us to know that, so he yelled “SQUIRREL!”

So it was that #ReleaseTheMemo became the most popular hashtag on Twitter, at least for brainwashed Republicans and Russian bots. (Weird how they are always in lockstep NO COLLUSION, EVERYBODY AGREES THERE IS NO COLLUSION!)

And what is THE MEMO? Oh it’s just a #classified thing Nunes’s aides scribbled in wet poo about how they found the #SmokingGun that proves the FBI and Hillary are having gay sex with each other, in bed.

So, to be clear: House Republicans are mounting a “campaign” with Russian bots to convince Trump, who has the authority to declassify stuff, to release Little Devin’s Very Important Memo. It is just a really good campaign.

Of course, they won’t show the FBI or the Justice Department the #SmokingGun memo Nunes made up, which is weird, because you’d think if the FBI or Justice was up to no good, at the very least the FBI’s Office of Inspector General might want to know about it.

Look at this shit from GOP Rep. Mike Conaway, who has been running the Russia investigation ever since Devin Nunes “recused” himself:

“They’re the ones that have the problem,” said Rep. Mike Conaway (R-Texas). “I think given the seriousness of this one and the players, this should go to the president first.” […]

Asked why the committee wouldn’t share the memo with FBI Director Christopher Wray, whom Trump appointed last year, Conaway said Wray is surrounded by Obama administration holdovers who, he implied, could not be trusted.

Fuck you, Mike Conaway. “Obama administration holdovers.” What he MEANS to say is that FBI Director Chris Wray refuses to fire the career people he works with (yes, including Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, who is guilty of being #RIGGED against Trump, because he is married to a Democrat) and replace them with shit-sniffing Trump morons with no regard for the Constitution or America. Indeed, the late breaking news is that Wray threatened to resign under Trump’s pressure to fire McCabe, so thank God Donald Trump accidentally nominated a patriot to run the FBI.

By the way, this, we guess, is the #SmokingGun:

Sources familiar with the memo … say it claims that senior FBI officials abused a secret surveillance program, commonly known as FISA, to target the Trump campaign last fall. According to three people who have viewed it, the memo suggests that FBI agents seeking a fall 2016 warrant to surveil Trump campaign adviser Carter Page concealed the role a controversial private dossier alleging Kremlin influence over Trump played in their decision.

Oh for Christ’s sake.

House Republicans and Trump believe that if THE DOSSIER was in any way a part of that decision, that means the FISA warrant was fake and bad (Democrat-funded conspiracy!), even if there were a million other reasons for the warrant, like for instance that the FBI had already started an investigation into the Trump campaign based on intelligence drunkenly ejaculated by young George Papadopoulos. (Also? Carter Page has been on the FBI’s radar FOR YEARS, because he is the stupidest Russian intelligence recruit of all time.)

Also remember, the only reason the memos that became the dossier were shared with the FBI in the first place are because British spy Christopher Steele has more patriotism in his right nut than Devin Nunes has in his entire body, and he was extremely concerned for America’s national security in the face of evidence of a massive conspiracy between the Trump campaign and Russia.

ALSO TOO remember that, contra the protestations of Nunes and fellow House GOP fuckwagons like Jim Jordan and Louie Gohmert, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO PAID FOR THE FUCKING DOSSIER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.

All that matters is whether shit is true.

But really, is this anything? Well Donald Trump Jr. is tweeting about it and “some say” this is just like Watergate, but actually, survey says no. Politico notes that some House Republicans, the ones who aren’t in Devin Nunes’s adult daycare group, say their colleague’s big memo “may be less than advertised.”

Let’s ask grown-up Republican senator John Cornyn about what the unruly children in the House are up to:

… [A]sked about some of the House Republicans’ hot-blooded comments about the memo, Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) smiled.

“I think there’s a lot of paranoia around here when it comes to that topic,” he said.

Uh huh. And Democratic House Intel Committee ranking member Adam Schiff, what do you say?

Rep. Adam Schiff of California … last week called the memo “a profoundly misleading set of talking points drafted by Republican staff attacking the FBI and its handling of the investigation.”

“This may help carry White House water,” he added, “but it is a deep disservice to our law enforcement professionals.”

TALKING POINTS.

#ReleaseTheTalkingPoints!!!!11!!!!1!

Fucking hell.

So now, Devin Nunes will go to the White House to share the TOP SECRET MEMO his office wrote, so Donald Trump can … what? Tweet about it? RELEASE THE MEMO? Something tells us this latest Devin Nunes Special works better if they don’t release it, but just keep yelling about it a lot.

(Nunes, by the way, is also very upset the FBI has reportedly misplaced a bunch of sexts between FBI lovers/Trump haters Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, either because those sexts probably also have the #SmokingGun about FBI conspiracies against Trump, or maybe Nunes just wants to masturbate to the hot sexts.)

Remember last year, when Nunes went to the White House to get TOP SECRET CLASSIFIED INFORMATION about improper Obama administration “unmasking,” then immediately Ubered to the White House to tell the White House all the stuff the White House had just told him? Remember how well that went for him? Remember how once Adam Schiff saw that TOP SECRET INFORMATION, he just LOLed, because Devin Nunes is really stupid?

This is like that.

Remember that time Frank Bruni from the New York Times had a source who memorably said of Devin Nunes, “No one is asking him to bring the potato salad to the MENSA picnic”?

They’re still not asking.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Politico]

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  • Msgr_MΩment
    • SDGeoff3

      Very good.

  • Bill D. Burger

    I love that a cherrypicked, nonsense memo from Trump buttboy Nunes is the Cons’ and Rightie Fools’ “smoking gun” du jour on all the cesspool Rightie Sites (You know who they are.) to shut down the Mueller investigation.
    It’s, of course, just swill for the GOPigs and the Trumpanzee Howler Monkeys trying to obfuscate and spin.

    MEH!

    (*btw: Still, one should never underestimate the bastards. They weaponized Benghazi and Emailgate’ very well. They are expert and creating something out of nothing.)

  • La forza del resistino
  • Nounverb911
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Fake Nunes!

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Hold on. Is it Noons or Noonyez? I’ve been thinking Noonyez. This is partly because I do not consume any media that uses audible spoken words.

  • Baconzgood

    You know I just looked up his congressional district for the first time…honestly I thought he was from the deep south or tex-ass or Nebraska.. I’m blown away that he’s from the west coast.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Fresno, I believe.

      Edit: I stand corrected, the Fresno suburbs.

    • Justin Thyme

      So are Issa and Rohrbacher.

    • altleftjohn
    • The Only Cosmic Owl

      California has Orange county.

      It’s like an endless Reagan carnival down there.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The hopelessly backward San Joaquin Valley.

    • georgiaburning

      That’s why we need to GOTV in the Central Valley

    • John Thorstensen

      California has some VERY red areas, away from the cities.

      • Baconzgood

        You crazy kids from California.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Leak the Unmaskers! Unmask the Leakers! Lease the Unmakers!

    Sorry, what were we talking about again?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Natasha and Sonia are on it.
      In the Moscow Ritz Carlton.
      Presidential Suite.

    • Me not sure

      Urologist’s masquerade party?

    • The Only Cosmic Owl

      You don’t have to turn off the red masque, Roxanne!

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Lance Thrustwell

        They can’t catch the leakers, but they might Khachaturian!

        • FlownΩver

          Please show yourself out.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Relativicus

      “(Ohmigawd, take the picture already…!)”

    • FlownΩver

      And I haven’t seen my good friend Rep. Issa anywhere around here!

  • Nounverb911
  • Me not sure

    Mueller should send his FBI agents to interview Nunes and play 20 questions about the contents of the memo. Then he should ask every person who worked on it the same questions independently. Any differences? Subpoena the document.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • canes_pugnaces

    I don’t know much about this asshole’s district, but isn’t there someone, even another GOPer, with a functioning cortex who can run against this guy? He’s an utter moron.

  • TJ Barke

    Amazing how the righties, the people so concerned about US sovereignty being trampled by the UN, are so happy to let Russia violate our sovereignty…

    • Timothy Watson

      Yeah, but that was hurt that black guy so it’s okay.

    • Christopher Story

      Because America slept with a black man. Now they want a new white country that has never had a black president, and Russia is all too happy to oblige.

    • AJ Milne

      Oh, they’re all for globalisation… Long as it’s globalised looted rubles.

      That and some of ’em never met a jackboot they wouldn’t lick.

      That’s the part really makes my eyes roll. They say oh they’re so terrified of ‘big government’… But its really more: when you’re already a mob man, like you want functioning, healthy, progressive governments that might actually check you and your capo.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      I’m truly not that worried about the Russians: what they’re doing is just classic statecraft—maneuvering and manipulating for their own national advantage. I don’t like the WAY they’re doing it, but THAT they’re doing it is just the way the world works. All nations do it, including ours.

      What I am worried about is the domestic traitors—the billionaires who want to shred our democracy, and the Republican Party (legislators, governors, judges, pundits, grifters, operatives, the ostensible “president” and his corrupt Cabinet) who they’ve bought up wholesale going back to the 1980s, at bargain basement prices.

      Through a massive campaign of bribery and propaganda, these vile, rich old men (many of them heirs to vast wealth) have shredded the fundamental institutions of our democracy, betrayed the constitution and the Bill of Rights, and eroded every progressive reform of the last hundred years: all in order to replace the American democracy with a chaotic, broken, Third World state in which absolute wealth rules absolutely, and aging, liver-spotted trust fund brats like Charles Koch and his absurd and clueless baby brother David don’t have to pay taxes, observe regulations, or obey the law.

      They’re the ones who opened the doors to the Russians. Men like Charles Koch and Peter Thiel and Robert Mercer–and Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan and, of course, Devin Nunes—they’re the actual traitors. Not Putin, who is merely serving his own national interests. What I wish for them could not be put into print without getting me into some degree of trouble.

      • TJ Barke

        Yep.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hear hear.

      • SterWonk

        Paul Ryan is a quiet, soft-spoken, respectable, sociopathic monster.

      • OneYieldRegular

        And their utter lack of concern about Russian manipulation of elections, of legislative processes, of Twitter even is by definition collusion.

  • The Only Cosmic Owl

    But he could be trusted with the cole slaw, maybe.

    • Rick Hill

      As long as I don’t have to eat it, sure I trust him

      • The Only Cosmic Owl

        You’re right, he’d probably screw that up as well.

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      He (and all Southerners) cannot be trusted with potato salad, cole slaw, or deviled eggs. Those fuckers would use that goddamn Miracle Whip.

      • gnomemansanisland

        I got your Miracle Whip right here. –

        Stormy Daniels

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Best potato salad got oil, vinegar, salt, pepper. O and a lil’ chive or scallion.

        • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

          Add bacon and serve warm and you pretty much have German potato salad. Mmmmmm.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            That’s the stuff.

        • John Thorstensen

          At a summer picnic, some people were peeling ears of corn while others were harvesting natural sweet onions for the salad.

          In other words, there was a lot of shucking and chiving going on.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Objection! I’m a southerner and I wouldn’t eat Miracle Whip on a bet. Or a dare. I would not eat it in a boat; I would not eat it with a goat. I would not eat it here or there. I would not eat it anywhere.

        • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

          Very true. My generalization was unwarranted. Many, though.

  • gnomemansanisland

    What? MENSA is too smart for potato salad?

  • Rick Hill

    Well, sure. Go ahead and send the thing to trump, first. Acause we all know he’ll do the right thing.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • BadKitty904

    Go Fuck Yourself, Devin Nunes

    A Sensible Policy for a Better America.

  • Nounverb911

    Well, Alex Jones is on the case.
    https://twitter.com/RealAlexJones/status/955598969144397824

    Watch at your own risk.

  • Ryan Denniston

    This is how the right wing amplification machine works. It’s not the alleged crime, the dossier referencing the alleged crime, sexts about the dossier referencing the alleged crime, the investigation into the sexts about the dossier referencing the alleged crime, nor the memo about the investigation INTO that investigation and the outfit that paid for the dossier. Nor is it about this memo. This is the latest “evidence” in a long string of “evidence” that casts doubt on what were we initially investigating? It had something to with Trump didn’t it? So why aren’t we investigating Hillary?

    I guarantee you this memo will show up as evidence in another memo a year from now.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Nunes would love to make the memo public, but it’s full of really really big secrets — like how Devin Nunes just makes shit up without evidence — that we don’t want Democrats to torpedo just because they’ve got it in for the Greatest President with the Greatest Inauguration Crowd Ever.

  • BadKitty904

    Recently we learned Nunes had convened a secret working group of fellow traveler GOP idiots on the Intel committee, so they could find the #SmokingGun that proves the FBI is colluding with Hillary Clinton and Russia to hurt Donald Trump’s feelings.

    Your Tax Dollars Not at Work.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Nunes and Conaway both need to be on the rocket ship manifest.

    Just sayin’.

    • BearGHAZI

      You mean the one we shoot into the sun?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        We can’t waste the opportunity to shove soulless flack and dead-eyed hatemonkey Steven Miller in there, also too.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The B Ark, the one we send first to make sure our new planet has its dossiers undodgied.

  • La forza del resistino

    ” I have herein my hand a memo of 205 that were known to the Secretary of State as being members of the Communist Party”
    Oh wait, that was Joe McCarthy

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT; but Chelsea explains hanging out with the alt-right as “gathering intel”.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/chelsea-manning-defends-attending-pro-trump-ball/?comments=disqus

    I remain skeptical.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yes, much like my ongoing investigation of online porn. I’ll get to the truth eventually!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Discovery sometimes comes in spurts of insight.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          You make a strong case for the wearing of safety goggles.

          • Hesavebread!

            They do nothing!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Gotta keep your resolve firm, and you’ll come to a conclusion eventually.

        • RickyG

          Like a stroke of genius

          • MynameisBlarney

            Fast strokes at first, then slow…then fast again.

          • RickyG

            TMI! 🤢

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Someone is a neo-Nazi.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I heard the Ruskies have pictures of Nunes dressed up as Hillary waltzing around his office.

    • BearGHAZI

      I heard that too, only much worse- he’s dancing the Samba

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        …while munching on a canned clam sammich. The monster!

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    I honestly feel bad for Nunes – no one should have to fuck him, not even himself.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    Members of the FBI who participated in the Bowling Green Massacre, Jade Helm and Hillary’s pedophile pizza ring were bugging the microwaves of Trump’s inner circle in a desperate attempt to install Hillary as POTUS for life. Soros funded the whole operation along with Karl Marx, who is getting recognized more and more.

    They would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for that darn Vladimir Putin, the most patriotic American of all. MAGA!

    • Doug Langley

      Worst episode of Scooby-Do ever.

  • BearGHAZI

    Once you win Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year (the Shitty), you get a taste for the accolades, and you just start gunning for another one

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Funny how the FBI could request a FISA warrant based on nothing but this dossier, and simultaneously hide the dossier from the FISA court. Those Obama holdovers sure are tricky!

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Their idiotic story just make sense if Hillary had won and the FBI had never killed her prospects just before the election. DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT HAPPENED????

    • TJ Barke

      Do you really need to ask?

  • Proud Liberal

    I swear to God if the people of California re-elect this traitor, I will know that I’ve lost my mind.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “House Republicans and Trump believe that
    if THE DOSSIER was in any way a part of that decision, that means the
    FISA warrant was fake and bad (Democrat-funded conspiracy!), even if
    there were a million other reasons for the warrant”

    Yes, because we only investigate a crime we can prove already… oh wait, isn’t that what the investigation is for? Anyway, two words, Carter Page. I’m shocked it took until 2016 for him to be investigated at all.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      After the suspect denies the crime, you’re supposed to drop the investigation. That’s just Governing 101.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “British spy Christopher Steele has more patriotism in his right nut than Devin Nunes has in his entire body”

    Remember this the next time you see an ICE raid in the media. A lot of them are more patriotic too.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    There’s a very good reason why Devin Nunes doesn’t want to release the memo or show it to the FBI.

    It’s BS.

    Making up false evidence against the FBI is a *very* bad idea.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      And that’s why the pressure by the flying monkey brigade to “release the memo” is entirely delightful. Careful what you assholes wish for.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • Walter Wellstone

      “Hicksville”? Yeah, I can see that.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Hicksville is famously high rent.

      • Nounverb911

        Billy Joel is from Hicksville.

      • Relativicus

        Dude, I been there!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Hopeless was a little too on the nose

    • cmd resistor

      Ha ha ha ha if true.

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      “Here’s the deal, Stormy. Mr.Trump will pay you $130K to keep quiet about the affair. BUT, he will pay you $250K to TALK about it – if you say he was the best lover you ever had & was hung like a Shetland pony.”
      “I think I’ll just take the $130,000. I mean, I’m no Meryl Streep..”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Is that legit? CREW is a no-shit outfit, right?

    • Opalescent Riddles

      The $888.33 is an extra bump to cover Donnie’s personal transaction fee. I’m surprised it’s that low, but he’s probably used to bigger transactions.

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Stormy is no doubt used to bigger “transactions” as well.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          After the transaction in question, I hope she exercised her fiduciary duty and liquidated her assets.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Rent?

      You’ve got to be kidding me…

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Purpose of Disbursement: RENT”? That is some euphemism there.

  • FauxAntocles

    Fake memo floating around, apparently MAGAts are eating it up.
    Favorite part is the dossier was assembled by the former RNC chairman.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b50e2d6996ec1467b76fe1ec1ddcaedce997c5cb98d11f867822473e98f01e8.jpg

    • FlemmishSpy

      Can we get the kerning guys on this?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Tonight on Hannity

    • TJ Barke

      SOMETHING SOMETHING DEEP STATE!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      they’re just soooo fucking dumb.

      • TJ Barke

        And they call us sheep…

        • BadKitty904

          Projection. It’s all about projection with these “people”…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Of course it would be the guy behind the Boris Bikes. Agenda 21, the pieces are all falling into place.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Yup. He deserves that.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Good mornin’ Chuckie
    Good mornin’ Nancy, of mine
    Do you need another Mueller
    Slinging a new mud line?

    Donnie don’t like to work
    He’s golfing all the time
    He tries to carve his initials
    On Mueller’s behind

    Hey, little Kelly boy
    Bring that water round
    If you don’t like your job
    Set that water bucket down

    Workin’ on a good course
    Million and half a day
    My good course waiting on Saturday
    So I can play and play

    I’m going to town, honey
    What you want me to bring you back?
    Bring a pint of ice cream
    And a couple of those Big Macs

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Sung by Van Morrison.

  • Nounverb911

    In the meantime, Paul Ryan seems to be in hiding somewhere in the Middle East….

    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/955826860612554752

    • CODEL like in season five of the West Wing?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Was season five when they decided CJ was the only likeable character and she got promoted to chief of hallway walks?

    • canes_pugnaces

      Meanwhile, Paul Ryan is an amoral fuckwad. NO matter where he is.

  • therblig

    “Source Merlin,” Alleline said, prefacing the announcement with a slight but very Scottish sucking of the teeth, “is a highly placed source with access to the most sensitive levels of Soviet policy-making.” And, as if he were royalty: “We have dubbed his product ‘Witchcraft.’ ”

    Now get him to tell you why he won’t tell you.” Alleline was undeterred. He, too, was flushed, but with triumph, not disease. He filled his big chest for a long speech, which he delivered entirely to Smiley, tonelessly, rather as a Scottish police sergeant might give evidence before the courts.

    “The identity of Source Merlin is a secret which is not mine to divulge. He’s the fruit of a long cultivation by certain people in this service. People who are bound to me, as I am to them. People who are not at all entertained, either, by the failure rate around this place. There’s been too much blown. Too much lost, wasted, too many scandals. I’ve said so many times, but I might as well have spoken to the wind for all the damn care he paid me.”

    le Carré, John. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: A George Smiley Novel (George Smiley Novels Book 5) (Kindle Locations 2142-2154). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

    • Hesavebread!

      Oh Bravo! I want our intelligence community to actively monitor politicians and if they are fucking about with foreign powers to have a quiet word or if necessary vote them with a voting vote.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Okay, I made sure the listening device is turned off. Bring in the Russian hookers.”

      -Tinkle Traitor.

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    “The memo”: The GOP’s girlfriend in Canada.

    • “Hey, leave us out of that shit show” – Canada

      • MynameisBlarney

        “Don’t make me come down there, hosers.”

    • therblig

      “The Memo” – by George Glass

    • Relativicus

      No, she’s American, but she’s a first cousin.

  • If Devin were smart, and he isn’t, he’d stash his Putin dollars in one of those nice foreign banks that launder money for people, and be purchasing some property in a country without an extradition treaty. Because I’m pretty sure the moment he loses his protector in the White House, there will be lots of charges filed. It’ll be funny how the FBI decided to do all those investigations into him, just because you know… reasons.

  • BadKitty904
  • Martini A, very stable genius

    My favorite part of all of this derpbag conspiracy stuff is the insistence that the FBI is filled with anti-Republican operatives. You mean the same FBI that did their level best to smear Hillary days before the election? Or the same guys that were there when Bush was president and Obama got elected? The government has changes of executive branch parties all of the time, but for some reason THIS is the one time that career FBI employees can’t be trusted, because they happened to be employed for a few years under a few different administrations? Insanity.

    • cmd resistor

      I am already tired of hearing about the FBI agents and their 50,000 texts that Idiot Man was tweeting about today.

    • Hesavebread!

      Re-arrange the letters and you get FIB, smart people are saying this, you tell me.

      • Opiwan

        I thought that was just the all-female remake of Men In Black… oops.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        And BFI (big fucking idiot) also too.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah but they didn’t lock her up for felony emailing so that proves they’re in the tank. Plus all those people she killed and wasn’t even arrested for. Also, she’s from Kenya.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Oh yeah, I forgot to add, Nooner is no patriot. He’s a power-hungry stooge that should be in jail.

  • BadKitty904
  • IdiotsforPalin

    Is Nunes Alex Jone’s illegitimate spawn?

    • BadKitty904

      He’s certainly stupid enough to be.

  • Daniel Hooper

    You know, I’ve been thinking a bit about George Papadopolous and his supposedly drunken bragging about how he was colluding with Russia to a third party? I’ve been thinking a bit about this, and recalling a scene from the anime Death Note, I’m wondering if maybe, MAYBE George is actually the inside source that reported all the Russian fuckery in the Trump campaign and is actually smarter than we give him credit for.

    Quick overview: Death Note is a mystery anime/manga(The live action Netflix movie? Never happened; don’t know what you’re talking about) about a teenager named Light who is given a notebook by a shinigami, a death god. Anybody who’s true name is written in it dies, and soon Light finds himself being pursued by a renowned detective who only goes by the pseudonym L. L suspected Light is the mysterious supernatural killer who wants to change the world in his image, but is having trouble proving it. For a long time L has only appeared as a voice on a computer screen, so imagine Light’s surprise when a man approaches him and informs him that he is L while on the street one day and reveals his true name. Light could kill L right there… except Light realizes that there’s no way for him to do that now without condemning himself. If L drops dead after revealing his true name to his prime suspect, everybody will assume Light is the killer and he’ll be done for.

    I was thinking if the Papadopolous situation was something similar; by pretending to drunkenly brag about Russian interference in the campaign in a place with witnesses, it’s going to look really suspicious if he suddenly disappears or ends up dead. Meanwhile, doing it while supposedly drunk also allows him to write it off as a drunken ramble and keep himself within the campaign learning more information.

    I dunno; maybe he’s just an idiot after all. Still, I think the argument has merit.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Interesting theory. Another theory: Trump surrounds himself with sycophants who have an inflated sense of themselves and don’t really know what they’re doing.

    • Justin Thyme

      Occam’s razor

      • Beelzebubba

        Hanlon’s razor seems applicable here.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Or, he’s a power drunk, alcohol influenced twit who thinks he’s a wee bit smarter than he is.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Wow. Plausible. And scary.

      As an aside, I had way too many fantasies about finding my own Death Notebook after reading the manga. Loved it.

    • SayItWithWookies

      The problem with that theory is that Papadopoulos couldn’t have been the first inside guy, because he spent so much time soliciting Russian connections during the campaign and trying to get other campaign officials to follow through. If that were an FBI thing or a setup of some kind, it would look like entrapment.

      I actually think the FBI’s original insider is Steve Bannon — he’s the one who spilled everything in the Wolff book, especially saying he wouldn’t have gone to the June 9th meeting, the first thing he would’ve done is call the FBI. And as an ex-Navy officer, he knew how seriously foreign contacts are treated. His Wolff book quotes don’t just sound like speculation to me. He joined the campaign, contacted the FBI about what he thought was a minor official getting out of hand and endangering everyone else, and then the June 9th meeting happened. That’s how I see it.

  • BadKitty904
  • La forza del resistino

    Memo to Trump campaign peeps. If your phone convo with anyone at the Russian embassy entailed anything more than a borscht delivery order, your identity will be unmasked.

  • OrG

    I think devin is guilty as fuck.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that’s a given

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but yay, they got enough signatures in Florida to get the restoring felons’ right to vote thing on the ballot. Step 1.
    http://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/370257-florida-voters-to-decide-if-felons-should-have-voting-rights-restored

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Great, now if they can remove those idiotic solar panel rules.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Solar really got kicked in the tender vittles today. The washer thing is just a fig leaf for a targeted hit on green energy.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Awesome.

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    And then they’ll biblespain to their students everyday, why trump “didn’t” break any of them the day before.

    https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/955833928371396610

    • OrG

      Mississippi-making Alabama look not so bad.

    • BadKitty904

      More Americans’ tax dollars wasted on Republican grandstanding bullshittery.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Apparently, Roy Moore jumped on his horse and moved west.

    • therblig

      will they also reassure the students that it’s ok if their parents are brother and sister?

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Mississippi and Alabama – the ISIS of Christianity.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Y’all qaeda.

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          With less infrastructure

          • WotsAllThisThen

            And shittier trucks.

      • BadKitty904

        MissISISippi and Talibama.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Religious plaque build-up causes truth decay.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’ve always marveled at the non-ambiguity of “thou shalt not kill” somehow not standing in the way of good Christians hunting, going off to fight in wars, and supporting the death penalty.

      • Beelzebubba

        They stand behind the Commandments, look at everybody else, and proclaim “THOU shall not…”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Not to mention stringing up the uppity.

    • Zonath

      Because guaranteeing that your state wastes resources fighting for an obvious lost cause is a hard habit to break?

      • BadKitty904

        It’s a major part of the Republican platform. Chum for their base without them having to actually do anything, other than waste tax-payer’s dollars.

    • SayItWithWookies

      What if teachers just mutter “Jesus, Mary and Joseph” under their breath every morning — would that be an okay substitute?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Is “Christ on a cracker!” a sacramental substitute?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Jinx!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I propose “Jesus Fucking Christ on a Cracker” for grades ten and up.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’ve always wanted to stand in front of a room full of kids and say, “I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me!”

      I’d probably just stop there, because after that I’m pretty much in charge.

    • Christopher Story

      I guess this is how they plan to combat “creeping Sharia” in our schools.

      Matthew 6:5-8
      5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
      6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
      7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them…

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Today’s lesson: The First Commandment and the First Amendment. Compare and contrast.

        • Christopher Story

          What really gets under my skin (and some it comes from my own conservative Christian upbringing) is the fact that the Ten Commandments are Judaism, not Christianity. Christianity is the four Gospels of the new testiment: Mattew Mark Luke and John.

          I can’t tell you the last time I’ve heard one of these “Christians” quote Christ to justify their actions. It’s all Old Testament Judaism. And while they could make the 2 Timothy 3:16 argument, that argument is itself belayed by Collossians chapter 2.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            It’s because the Biblical Jesus is so antithetical to their own wants and desires. “Turn the other cheek”? Not a chance. “Render unto Caesar”? Not if they can help it! “Love thy neighbor” and “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? FUCK no.

          • Christopher Story

            And they’re such lying fucks. I would respect them more if they would at least have the balls to make their own faith, like the KKK, that preaches everything they believe in, but no, they have to hollow out and bastardize an otherwise beautiful spiritual philosophy so they can look, I don’t know, moral? when they’re preaching their hate. Parasites that consume the host from the inside out and then wear its skin.

    • therblig

      that ornate tablet looks borderline golden calf-y

      • Christopher Story

        They exchanged faith for worship a long time ago.

    • OneYieldRegular

      That is so absurd a violation of the Constitution that even Clarence Thomas might pause before voting to support it.

  • Anna Rompage

    In other words, Mueller found that Rudy Ghouliani’s contacts in the FBI broke the law when they leaked info on the DNC hacking during the campaign, and this is Deven “Chachi” Nunes’s attempt at getting in front of the story, to cast doubt, and show that other sides “do” this too…

    The proof of course is that he has a single text message, from some random FBI agent, calling candidate Trump a hoofwanking bunglecuck, so this must mean the whole of the FBI is in a bag for Killary…

    • La forza del resistino

      it would be hard to go to any law office and find 90% of the staff that wouldn’t say Trump is a hoofwanking bunglecuck

  • Opiwan

    Really, though, who actually likes potato salad, unless you add so much crap to it the potatoes are an afterthought?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Use better potatoes. Yukon Golds are great.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The best potato salad ever was made by my MIL, may she rest in peace.
      Done right, it’s a meal in itself.

    • AmusedAmused

      Obviously, you’ve never had a classic Salade Olivier.

      • Opiwan

        That is true, I have not.

        • AmusedAmused

          Oh, that’s a great loss. Get yourself invited to a Russian home for next New Year’s.

  • FlownΩver

    No potato salad! No potato salad! You’re the potato salad!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sounds thin-skinned.

      • OutOfOrbit

        keep your eyes peeled

      • eggs ackly-wright

        He’s a pawn of Mother Russet.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      They’re not sending their best potato salad. A few are very fine, but most are rapists and smugglers.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And some, I assume, are real mayo.

  • Anna Rompage

    Yes, an almond farmer from outside of Fresno, that just happened to get elected to office because he has money, is smarter than Matlock, Mueller, and Einstein even….

  • BadKitty904

    My only real question here is is Nunes genuinely stupid enough to think he’s backing the winning horse here?

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      Yes.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      That is the shit that keeps on bothering me… are these people really this stupid? Or is there something in the works we don’t know about.

      • DrBigHead

        About once a week I have that realization. Then I hyperventilate until I pass out.

      • BadKitty904

        Hanlon’s Razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Of course he is. Is that truly your only question? I haz another question, which is: how many repuke conspirators and traitors can be legally housed in a single cell in the federal prison system?

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        “How finely can we chop them” is probably not the right answer.

    • DrBigHead

      I don’t think he has a choice. Hitching his wagon to the teflon Don is his only hope.

      • BadKitty904

        Serves him right.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I propose a new amendment to the Wonkette lexicon: henceforth, Devin Nunes shall be referred to as Devin “Crapweasel” Nunes (R-Moscow).

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Damn, Idaho is electing some real winners!

  • Jack Sydney

    This is my first and last time visiting this site. Anyone who can’t write an article without a series of over the top language is either lazy or stupid, or both.

    • OutOfOrbit

      gud bie

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I have the best hyperbole, everyone says so.

    • gnomemansanisland

      You don’t know Jack, Sydney!

      • Jack Sydney

        Good one.

    • Anna Rompage

      I see that irreverent snark is lost on our new found friend…

      • Jack Sydney

        More like irrelevant.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Or you haven’t been here long enough to know that we don’t act like the site is aimed at the under-twelve Internet user.

      • Jack Sydney

        Oh, another good one.

    • IdiotsforPalin
    • FlemmishSpy

      See the wonkette style guide.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      “a series of over the top language” was my college band made of english and math majors.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        I had a series of language once, but it died, along with my sea monkeys.

    • therblig

      i guess we can all delete our accounts now. Jack Sydney has shown us what for.

      • Jack Sydney

        No, no, no…you stay in your little irrelevant cocoon and play with all your meaningless friends.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s a humor blog, fucknuts.

      • Jack Sydney

        Where’s the humor?

    • AmusedAmused

      Not everyone has the best words, what can I tell you. Not all can write in Very Stable Genius style.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Please donate so we can hire better writers.

      • Jack Sydney

        Finally, someone who has actual humor. Good one.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The fact that you believe that your ignorant opinion matters to anyone here clearly illustrates your abject stupidity.

      • Jack Sydney

        Nice insult. At least you didn’t say fuck 48 times. Keep your echo chamber to yourself. That really helps expand the mind.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Whatever, comrade.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          We swear like sailors on shore leave here.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

        • Querolous

          Don’t you mean (((echo))) chamber?

    • A Groucho Marxist

      Judging by your comment history, this site is definitely not for you, Jack.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, I peeped his profile, definitely a frightwinger loon.

        • therblig

          now he can scurry back to dead breitbart or wherever his ilk circle jerk each other and rail about the “intolerant left”

          • insolenttomato

            All while accusing us of living in an echo chamber. I know it’s been said before but it is all about projection with Jack Sydney and his ilk. Or he’s somewhere in Irktusk or Moscow posting as a right winger being paid in vodka and/or heroin.

      • Jack Sydney

        Yes, you must love the safety of an echo chamber of like minded partisans.

        • insolenttomato

          “Hello, may I speak with kettle?
          “Speaking.”
          “Hi kettle, this is pot. You’re black.”

        • A Groucho Marxist

          I didn’t mean the comments section of this site, I meant the articles. You clearly didn’t enjoy the one you read; hence, this site is not for you. And that’s fine. Not everything is for everyone.

    • BadKitty904
    • Wonky “MuttonShunter” McGoo

      i’m pretty sure over the top language has a proud place in satire, historically. but you’re entitled to your opinion. don’t let the door hit you where the lord split you.

      • AmusedAmused

        I doubt Jack is aware that “satire” isn’t simply a word you say to justify prior bigotted statements.

        • insolenttomato

          I think you’re right. See also his interpretation of “humor” and “jokes.”

      • Jack Sydney

        It does, for sure. The article wasn’t satire, however, it was just junk.

        • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

          well, say that next time, then. there’s a world of difference between “anyone who writes articles that use over the top language is lazy or stupid” (an incorrect statement, and an ad hominem attack) and “i didn’t like this, i thought it was junk” (an opinion). do you see?

    • AmusedAmused

      I love how you used “language” as a plural, btw.

      • Jack Sydney

        Glad you liked it.

    • Dg Hacket

      Good riddance

      • Jack Sydney

        Have a nice day.

    • Bobathonic

      This is not your safe space.

      • Christopher Story

        Your ridicule will not be over quickly.
        You will not enjoy this.
        We are not your snowflakes.

      • Jack Sydney

        Or an intelligent space, either.

        • Bobathonic

          Zingzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      So Jack, care to explain what you mean here:
      It would be monumentally stupid to say top DOJ and FBI officials face potential jail time unless there was a clear, undeniable fact pattern.

      Because the person accusing these people is monumentally stupid.

      • Jack Sydney

        If the GOP is over-hyping the contents of the memo, that would be stupid. Based on the serious reactions of those who have read the memo, there must be a clear fact pattern that shows malfeasance.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Who has read the memo?

          • Jack Sydney

            180 GOP House members and 10 Dems.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Why only 10 Dems?

          • Antonin Dvorak

            Those are the 10 on the Intelligence Committee.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Seriously, just what in the actual fuck did you hope to accomplish by posting that dumb fucking comment.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Paycheck from Moscow.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Da.

      • A Groucho Marxist

        Sometimes when you come across a series of over the top language you’re just compelled to voice your opinion about it. We’ve all been there, surely.

      • DrBigHead

        Other than quite a few snarky replies?

      • Jack Sydney

        Perhaps to get you sad and ridiculous folks to use your big boy words. Clearly, I failed.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Took a while to get the russian to English translator working, eh?

        • MynameisBlarney

          I’d post a link to that study showing that people that cuss a lot are generally smarter than those that don’t, but you’re probably one of those fucktards that believes in talking snakes but not science.

      • His followup comments suggest he’s trying to be included in the Sunday hall of shame post.

    • vivian

      What, out of boredom more than curiosity, exactly is “a series of language”?

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s like a pile of lexicons, but in a straight line I guess.

        • vivian

          An expression without parallel?

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        It’s the typical collective noun, like “a murder of owls,” or “a school of puppies,” or “a congress of morons”.

        • Arolpin

          ‘A Confederacy of Dunces’.

          A great phrase and an over-praised book about a whiny punk.

      • SDGeoff3

        That would be “the best words; everyone is saying”.

    • insolenttomato

      What’s that you rightwingers always say to “triggered leftist snowflakes?” Oh yeah — fuck your feelings.

      • Jack Sydney

        Me? A snowflake? Hardly. I just prefer to read intelligent arguments, not lazy and stupid ones.

        • svejk

          I take it you don’t bother to proofread, then.

        • insolenttomato

          Not based on your comment history, you don’t.

    • Christopher Story

      Well lets see, the weed makes me lazy, and the liquor makes me stupid… wait, who are you? What was I just saying? Ahh fuck it, pass the blunt. *hic*

      • Jack Sydney

        Enjoy…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Come for the over the top language, stay for the lazy stupid!

      • DrBigHead

        I thought there was going to be cake?

        • MynameisBlarney
          • DrBigHead

            I take it you know what this means, so I have a O/T story. Portal was at the top of its popularity when The Boy was in middle school. One of his classmates baked him a cake based on the description in the game. He couldn’t figure out why she did it. I suggested that perhaps, maybe, she liked him. He could not wrap his mind around the possibility.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, just kinda shows how clueless we can be when females show us they like us.

          • puredog

            Ceci n’est pas un gateau.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I stay for the dick jokes.

      • Jack Sydney

        Nah. I’ll just leave you all to read the dribble.

        • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

          Back so soon?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Right?
            That “1st and last time” thing didn’t last long.

          • Rags

            Trolls gotta troll

    • texcynical

      Yaaayy!!

    • Red Richmond
    • Blanche de Shambles
    • Villago Delenda Est

      You won’t be missed, asswipe.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Hey Jack. I cannot tell. Did you graduate from Harvard or Princeton?

      • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

        no counting extension schools

      • AmusedAmused

        I bet it was the Jesus College of Learning Bigly And Stuff.

      • Rags

        Brown.

    • Slamtundra

      An inybudy who cain’t gramer better’n yew is probubly stupid or both.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      I want to be those things!

      I would also like to be crass, uncouth, Victorian, upstanding, and also, can I live in a really swanky shithole with golden accoutrements, also too?

  • AmusedAmused

    I think we should launched an immediate investigation into Who Paid For The Memo, because it wasn’t Nunes’ constituents, that’s for damned sure. Moreover, we should investigate all the illegal unmaskings of innocent sexting Americans.

  • TJ Barke

    Here’s a fun, snarky article imploring Norwegians to come to America.
    http://www.resilience.org/stories/2018-01-23/a-letter-to-my-friends-in-norway/

    • DainBramage

      We assume that work always comes first, an expression of our cherished “family values.”

      This is so on point.

  • Ray in VT

    Why is the House GOP so against and hateful of law enforcement? Don’t they know that criticizing police will make them not try to stop crime?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Like they care.

    • Timothy Watson

      And they will have no problem calling the FBI the next time they get a nasty letter or phone call.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I read something long ago, I think by Buck Henry, describing the buffet at Plato’s Retreat, a notorious swinger club in New York. The lasting image of that was of the impression made in the potato salad by a member’s member.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      That ain’t mayo!

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        vomit forever dot gif

    • gnomemansanisland

      Plato’s Retreat should have been called Plato’s Run Away Screaming While Vomiting

      • BreakingDeadMen

        When someone tells me they are into swinging, I immediately appraise them and their partner on their fuckability. Usually it’s not so great.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          The one couple who I knew who were into that were this nice but homely midwestern couple who were very indiscriminate about who they asked, including the mega church Christians in the upstairs apartment. The response was anything from “no thank you” to “ewwww”.

          • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

            that actually sounds like a great way to get the megachurch christians in the apartment upstairs to leave you the fuck alone

    • AmusedAmused

      The very idea of food being served at an orgy is kinda gross. Indulgences should be neatly separated, lest you end up like George Costanza.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “I did not double-dip!”

      • Bobathonic
      • Anna Rompage

        I don’t know, if you’re going to end up with a random person’s genitalia in your mouth, among other places, does it really matter who touched what?

        • AmusedAmused

          That’s a good question for a theoretical Freudian psychologist. I think the answer would be we see food as part of ourselves on a visceral level, whereas oral sex is about temporarily transgressing boundaries with something that clearly ISN’T part of our bodies. You know, something about mixing a life-sustaining substance with the horror of castration.

          (Thank you, professors, I knew studying French literary theory would come in handy one day.)

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Shouldn’t I be more worried about getting potato salad in all the wrong places?

      • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

        It’s the most sensual of the mayonnaise based side dishes

        • Rags

          Oh- you think it was mayonnaise based????

    • therblig
    • Thiazin Red

      I feel like trays of circulating canapes is the proper choice for an orgy.

  • Crystalclear12

    The SMRT one.

    • CaliCheeseSucks

      I mean S-M-A-R-R-T!

  • So it was that #ReleaseTheMemo became the most popular hashtag on Twitter, at least for brainwashed Republicans and Russian bots. (Weird how they are always in lockstep NO COLLUSION, EVERYBODY AGREES THERE IS NO COLLUSION!)

    Russia is good now because they’re practicing the preferred form of capitalism: all for me and fuck the rest of you. And they have a strong daddy figure who hates gay people and Muslims and will save white civilization from the browns and the blahs.

    Nunes is probably hoping that Trump will let him jerk him off and call him a good boy.

    • gnomemansanisland

      Yep. This is 100 percent likely.

      Putin also wears a crucifix and rides a horse.

  • Beowoof14

    Can you smell the desperation to save Despicable Donald. Smells like a dirty David Viter diaper.

    • BadKitty904

      Why are they bothering?

      • Beowoof14

        Makes one wonder about the entire party’s involvement.

        • OutOfOrbit

          i do not have to wonder anymore

        • AmusedAmused

          I’ve wondered that too, and at this point, I suspect that many, many Republican lawmakers owe serious money to the same group of really scary Russian dudes.

        • BadKitty904

          It’s becoming clearer each day that the entire GOP leadership and management is involved in treason or collusion, possibly back to the 1980s.

      • gnomemansanisland

        Because they are in on it.

        • OrG

          Up to their fucking necks.
          ALL OF THEM.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        The anchor is slipping off the deck and their foot is caught in the rope.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        because complicit

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The desperation of the Trumpanzees, in general, is a delight to behold.

  • davefromoregon

    This tactic goes back to Joe McCarthy. It was bullshit then and it is bullshit now. Either he publishes his list or he can stick it where the sun don’t shine.

    Nunes has nothing.

    • gnomemansanisland

      And a variation is missing emails and now missing texts.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I have written, in crayon, on paper torn out of a spiral notebook, a super-secret memo that reveals Devin Nunes’ intimate ties with the Russian Bratva, the Spanish Garduña, the Mar-a-Lago Supply Chain and the Tulare County Cattlemen’s Association.

    But I can’t share it with you.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      seems legit…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You lost all credibility with the Tulare County Cattlemen’s Association.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Have you ever walked into a Cattlemen’s Restaurant in California’s Central Valley? The conspiratorial atmosphere is thicker in there than it is in decades-old restaurants in Naples or Palermo.

        • Rags

          Thicker than the Thousand Island dressing on the iceberg lettuce wedges.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • BigCSouthside

    They are working VERY hard to discredit the dossier. Like, suspiciously hard

    • BadKitty904

      Why would that be, I wonder?

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Harder than they worked on the replacement to Obamacare.

      Weird! It’s almost like the aphorism “when a man knows he is to be hanged…it concentrates his mind wonderfully” proves its truthiness!

  • Scooby

    There is no stronger evidence than a memo written by one of the parties 2 years after the fact.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    senior FBI officials abused a secret surveillance program, commonly known as FISA, to target the Trump campaign last fall. According to three people who have viewed it, the memo suggests that FBI agents seeking a fall 2016 warrant to surveil Trump campaign adviser Carter Page concealed the role a controversial private dossier alleging Kremlin influence over Trump played in their decision

    “You didn’t warn us that you were on to us! UNFAIR!!!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/baae234eef8439761688067bd36e75ed28ece958e8e26ddf96bea5dc207c3543.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    What do the Russians have on this dumbass?!

    • Another pee tape?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Knowing Devin’s intelligence, it’s probably of him peeing on himself.

        • OutOfOrbit

          don’t we all do that sometimes?

          • SayItWithWookies

            We don’t all pay ourselves afterwards.

          • OutOfOrbit

            i could get payed?! damn, i missed that part

    • gnomemansanisland

      A lass pours uric

      • svejk

        i new him well; a fell ewe of in fin ate jest

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Oh, bitch. You wary?

    • BadKitty904

      Bribes? Aka, “campaign donations”?

    • Anna Rompage

      I don;t think anything…

      I think Devin Nuses is just that fucking dumb….

    • Ryan Denniston

      I invoke Trump’s Razor. The stupidest explanation that fits the facts is the most likely.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Cash-strapped business failure who can’t borrow from banks because he’s burned them too often learns he can launder dirty Russian money through his shitty buildings?

        • theCryptofishist

          I think you mean “… can’t borrow from auks…”

          • FlemmishSpy

            Pfft.

      • Rags

        Trump’s Butter Knife? A razor seem too sharp.

  • Anna Rompage

    I’m starting to think that Nunes has about as much relevance as Issa did, after several years of Benghazi hearings, and no smoking gun…

    • OutOfOrbit

      but it all plays well to their base

      • vivian

        It’s all about the theatre of “getting things done” since the clown couldn’t be fucked to learn how to actually govern.

      • Anna Rompage

        So do films showing castrations & circumcisions without anesthesia, but it does not mean it plays well to the rest of the country….

  • MynameisBlarney
    • BadKitty904

      And just as crazy.

      • MynameisBlarney

        He also killed fitty men.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          check his shins…

          • theCryptofishist

            True fact: Those are the sorts of prosthetics you get to begin to learn to walk on. They are called, as well as I can remember, “stubbies.”

        • BadKitty904

          lol

    • Anna Rompage

      I don’t know, I think Pence looks a little more like Vlad’s red headed step brother, after he went grey…. The alcohol fetal poisoning syndrome eyes are the dead giveaway…

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And here I thought he’d traded his eyes to Satan in return for …?

        • svejk

          mother. you know satan don’t never play fair.

    • Timothy Watson

      Cotton Hill libelz!

      • BadKitty904

        Kin to Tom Cotton, I believe.

    • aureolaborealis

      FAKE NEWS!
      Cotton flossed Nazis. Pence fluffs Nazis.

  • With this, Nunes has earned 12 Cillizzas for stupidity.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Pretty soon he’ll be hogging all the Gohmerts, too.

      • I’ve been trying to work out the exchange rate, and the closest I can get is that 3.2 Gohmerts = 1 Cillizza. Sound about right?

        • Wait–it’s the other way around: 1 Gohmert = 3.2 Cillizzas.

          • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

            ouch

      • Ellie

        Then he better put it in a bag and go wash his hands!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Devin, honey, what did Mommy tell you about using her lipstick and her good notepaper? Now you go stand in the corner and think about what you did, and in a little while, if you promise to be a good boy, you can come out and watch The Manchurian Candidate with Mommy.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • FlemmishSpy

      Collect ’em all! In jail, that is.

      • Shawn Charniga

        Prison. Jail is where they stick you for penny-ante crap that gets you locked up for less than a year.

        Prison is where they stick you when you done effed up so bad that you need to be locked away from society for decades, if not the remainder of your natural life.

    • theCryptofishist

      Please tell me there’s an entire deck, for $20 bucksamerican. I need this. That lower one had to be replacing Stalin’s head.
      Fuck it, I’m in love.

    • littlegreen

      Is that Mister Manafort? He’s dashing in greatcoat.

      Can’t say the same for his comrade.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And in other conspiracy news, it looks like there’s a “rental” payment from Assmouth’s campaign to one of his corporations right after the election for a little over $130,000. Not that that should raise any eyebrows about where Stormy Daniels’ payoff money came from. Except that nobody can find what was rented for that sum.
    https://twitter.com/CREWcrew/status/955827857221193728?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rawstory.com%2F2018%2F01%2Fstormy-daniels-bailout-trump-campaign-transferred-130k-trump-business-one-month-election%2F

    • BadKitty904

      What a remarkable coincidence.

      • Notreelyhelping

        And how unusual!

    • Zippy49

      Uh, the city on that form seems a bit made-up…

      • SayItWithWookies

        Nah — it’s right there on the map next to Towney Town.

      • little miss high and mighty

        “Last Train To Hicksville”
        Great Dan Hicks album

      • Thiazin Red

        Its not. Hicksville is outside Oyster Bay. I know people from there.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hicksville,_New_York

        • cmd resistor

          I went to a wedding there once.

      • OutOfOrbit

        hicks. hicks. hicks. Where have i heard that name before?

        • Jimh

          I hope you remember.

          • OutOfOrbit

            oh i do! i hope i hope i hope

      • vivian
        • Villago Delenda Est

          Hicksville is indeed an actual place. Anyone who read MAD in the 60’s and 70’s knows this.

      • calliecallie

        It’s actually a place on Long Island. But it may be that the use of “hicksville” as a expression to describe rubes may have come after the actual place.

        From Wikipedia: Valentine Hicks, son-in-law of nationally famous abolitionist and Quaker preacher Elias Hicks, and eventual president of the Long Island Rail Road, bought land in the village in 1834 and turned it into a station stop on the LIRR in 1837. The station became a depot for produce, particularly cucumbers for a Heinz Company plant. After a blight destroyed the cucumber crops, the farmers grew potatoes. It turned into a bustling New York City suburb in the building boom following World War II.

      • mark99k

        It’s quite real, as any New Yorker can attest. I’m a bit more curious about what the extra $888.33 is for. Tax? Gratuity? Urinalysis? Ball-gags?

        • Rags

          Interest

    • Thiazin Red

      Of course he would be such a cheap piece of shit that he wouldn’t even pay his own hush money,

      • C4TWOMAN

        One thing he has in common with his alt right an cap liebertarian supporters: they are cheap as fuck and generally get what they pay for:
        Incompetent but idealogically loyal morons.

      • ChumpsForTrump

        To be fair… of all the things trumpkins’ donation money could be used for, hush money to a porn star is about the least destructive. If it hadn’t gone there, it would be helping elect more repigs.

    • Ryan Denniston

      So $900 goes to the lawyer? Cheap and stupid.

      • yyyaz

        I’m thinking it was interested calculated from the day of the settlement until the payment was actually made.

        • Rags

          Should be possible to back calculate that but I’m too lazy.

    • cmd resistor

      Losers couldn’t even figure a way to get it paid by the Trump charitable foundation.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That sentence makes it sound like the affair was one month before the election. Could I tap them on the shoulder and suggest, “…paying $130,000 in hush money a month before to the election to hide an affair?”

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        “Forget it Jake, it’s Twittertown.”

    • proudgrampa

      Quid, meet quo.

      • Roadstergal

        And she is a Pro.

    • is that what they call it now?

  • vivian

    Nunes of The Above is really Nunes of The Following.

    • calliecallie

      And we’re having Nunes of it.

      • vivian

        We’re definitely Nunes the Wiser…

        • Proud Liberal

          Nunes of this makes sense.

          • weejee

            Get thee to a Nunesery.

          • TJ Barke

            That would be a horrible place…

    • C4TWOMAN

      Nunes shall pass!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “I’m invincible!”

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    OT: because I don’t want to be the only one totally ooked out by this.

    Amarillo’s landfill has mass graves for euthanized stray and feral dogs and cats.

    • theCryptofishist

      In the east bay there’s a rendering plant truck that has a route that it goes on every two weeks or so. The shelters have big barrels of euthanized animals in walk in freezers, being held for when that truck appears.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        I get that incineration can be cost prohibitive, but it seems that putting the animals out for buzzards or allowing their bodies to be used for scientific purposes would be much more dignified. no?

        • Rags

          Buzzard option would be a public health issue. Scientists use very few vertebrates larger than rats and the public apparently wants to keep it that way.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            a) buzzard option is not a health issue. we do it to feral hogs all the time. I’ve even done it with certain animals.

            b) the public doesn’t know about it because they do it during hours of operation, but when the facility is closed to the public.

            c) it would seem that this practice–they put a good number of them in and cover them with 2 feet of other trash–would create a lot of gas issues.

            d) though places with citywide compost facilities may be a good place for this, Amarillo does not have one of those.

      • HazooToo

        That is fucking horrifying, and I will never leave a departed pet at the vet’s, ever. It’s a burial with respect or nothing.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          I generally get mine cremated, but cities don’t have money for incinerating euthanized strays and ferals.

          • HazooToo

            It’s such a shame. But if it’s necessary, then I guess I can hate it without condemning it.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            I don’t hate it, but there are better methods that don’t create the hassle of dealing with wet waste.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    They are acting like there is something of substance in this FBI investigation. Either that, or they are very, very stupid. Or why not both?
    Even as we speak, there may be a 21st century Deep Throat who is leaking information that will get Dumb Devin into a lot of trouble.

    • Christopher Story

      I think it would be the epitome of irony if our Deep Throat turns out to be Mike Pence.

      • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

        it would be cool if he was good for something

  • Roadstergal

    Damn, that face is SO punchable.

    With votes, etc.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, Kellyanne has informed us that Trump’s main thing at Davos will be America First. So she told FOX, according to The Hill:
    “Expect this president to go there and show what ‘America First’ continues to look like on the world stage,” Conway says. “He is certainly willing to engage on trade, participate in the global economy. However, he has made it very clear that it will always benefit Americans: American workers, American interests, and our American allies.”

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Cause nothing says trade deal like “Concede to all my demands”.

    • BadKitty904

      Mr. “Art of the Schlemiel” really has no idea what “negotiate,” means, does he?

      • weejee

        He’s such a tiny schumckster too, also.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Because every other country wants to engage in trade that doesn’t benefit their own country. What a bunch of idiots.

    • Christopher Story

      Does he really believe that other governments don’t pander to their own citizens?

    • Anna Rompage

      America first, with our premier representative riding around on a HoverRound, and keeping an eye out for the closest McDonalds…

    • TJ Barke

      If by all those things she means American corporations and financiers…

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      So with his past negotiating skills by the end of the deal the US will be divided up and sold to other countries? Will Canada get the north east and the states that border it?

      • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

        “We’re taking Florida!” – Cuba

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m sure all the sane people in those states wouldn’t mind….

      • Roadstergal

        Please, Canada! CA would love to be part of you. We already have your website suffix as our abbreviation.

        Yeah, there are some shitheels, but if we join you, they’ll move to Texas and Kansas, where the living is good and the guns are common!

      • Rags

        Yes, pleez!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      American allies.

      How quaint and old fashioned.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, I suppose the actual world leaders could use the laugh…

    • OrdinaryJoe

      We have no allies. That insane old man destroyed our allies.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Seriously. We’re the country version of an alcoholic being told, “when you’re ready to get help call us. Until then we’re no contact”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “America First” is going to play VERY well at Davos.

      Donald is going to get his ass handed to him with gales of laughter.

    • CripesAmighty

      In short ,he’s gonna March right up, shit on the floor and hand out trucker hats

    • SDGeoff3

      I can hardly wait.

      • proudgrampa

        Davos is gonna tell Trump to go fuck himself.

        • SDGeoff3

          SQUEEEE…!!

        • CripesAmighty

          Let the humiliation begin!

    • gnomemansanisland

      Trump’s only foreign policy is making shitheels in East Bumfuck feel good that some foreigns is getting stomped.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Alt-right Barbie whines wot?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I always thought she was more Skeletor.

    • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

      … where “America” is defined as “Trump’s golf buddies.”

    • Phoenixdoglover

      You just jus’ walked in ‘da Davos room,
      Tell me what you gonna do? Act a fool

    • Rags

      American Allies are ” Americans?” English,how the fuck does it work?

  • C4TWOMAN

    It really smells of time wasting desperation. They hope to keep pulling this bullshit until the clock runs out. One thing almost for certain…. neither Meuller or any other person presenting a real threat has legit skeletons in their closet or the GOP would have weaponizing that already.

    • OutOfOrbit

      they can make shit up for ever & ever & just keep throwing it at the base

      • Christopher Story

        Just like a religion!

      • C4TWOMAN

        True. But the effectiveness is limited to their base and only if they stay in control. Like someone said, it will be a liability if they lose the mid terms.

        • OutOfOrbit

          “killery’s e-mails” have had a [good] run

      • ChumpsForTrump

        Can we throw shit at their base as well?

        • Timothy Watson

          I wouldn’t mind some Democratic ratfuckery…

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Well, if nothing happens to Mueller and he keeps piling up guilty pleas AND we can flip the House in 2018, then all their time wasting will work against them because then we have an Impeachment Congress.

    • shivaskeeper

      Time wasting it is, but not out of desperation. Bullshit, it certainly is, but it is bullshit with a purpose.

      This is to keep the base worked up in a frothing rage. The GOPers know they are going to get hammered in 2018 and 2020. They need to make sure the Dems don’t get a supermajority. They have to hang on to some seats and districts.

      The ones who are getting out because of “principles” are just taking the money and running. Smash and grab. They are going to lose to a Dem so they dn;t want to run. The ones like Nunes either didn’t get the money or are true believers in the CTs they pedal. Neither is a good look for them.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Good points… I could see all that being a thing.

        • shivaskeeper

          Individually some of these GOPers are dumb as fuck. Collectively they play the long game. We have a tendency to forget that and then we are surprised when 20 or 30 years of planning and pushing for a specific outcome for them comes together.

          If they can hang on to a seat with an idiot who will draw attention from the actual machinations, so much the better. It sounds CTish, but it actually plays out fairly often.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        I agree, it’s not purposeless.

        There may be the added “bonus” for Russian interests: causing fractures in the FBI along partisan lines — something that their rigorous professionality normally frowns upon (read: what gets you fired).

  • Nunes, stooge of Trump and the Russians, makes up a bunch of allegedly damning crap about the FBI and the Russia investigation from which he’s allegedly recused. He teases just enough to fire up the pro-Trump base, but claims he can’t release the actual memo, and makes no actual steps toward getting authorization for release, even though thousands of pro-Trump Russian bots and their gullible US patsies call for it.

    What a fucking stunt, transparent to all but Trump’s most ignorant followers, blindly following their authoritarian “leader” in the name of “freedom”.

    • littlegreen

      It provided a great case study in Russian bot behavior.

      Maybe someone at the picnic can explain bots to Devin.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Devin “Kremlin Asset” Nunes. Come on Fresno. Send Devin back to his farm in 2018.

    • vivian

      Fresno is not exactly the most forward-thinking town in CA.
      As one might well intuit from Nunes’ election in the first place.

      • Roadstergal

        Fresno keeps all of the ‘average’ numbers in California from getting too nice.

      • proudgrampa

        Isn’t Fresno part of the California secessionist movement?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’d be amused if they still are, given how much water it takes to grow grapes and how many undocumented workers generally maintain and pick them.

        • David Chop

          Not that I’m aware of. A few people from Fresno may have made some honking noises about it, but I think the bulk of the secessionist silliness happens north of here. (Sacramento)

          • Petunia Cat

            Even further north. Russia. The guy who was pushing it around the time of the election later dropped it and moved to Russia.

        • Petunia Cat

          You know the California secessionist movement is run out of an office in Moscow right? I saw thing on this a few months after the election, trying to remember where. It might’ve been Maddow. Completely a Russian set up.

          • proudgrampa

            I’d believe just about anything after this last year.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Voter reg there is interesting and shows the possibilities. More Dems than Reps. But close to 20% show no preference. So the victory is in a good Dem candidate and a big push to show up Nuneski as the Kremlin asset that he is.

    • JaveyDay

      Kremlin Asset or Gremlin Asshat?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Why “or”?

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Saaaaay, you know who else made hot-blooded comments?

    • gnomemansanisland

      Dracula?

    • Foreigner?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My first thought!

        • We are contemporaries!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yup another old fogy non-commenting on the Wonkettes!

      • vivian

        It’s a hunnert an three.

        • Now that I’ve implanted the earworm I must take full responsibility.

          I am sorry.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          I got a fever burning a… and the cure is MORE COWBELL.

      • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

        “hey baby, my body temperature’s increased to fight infection. wanna do it? ps are you legal?”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          That is, do you do more than dance?

      • Master Contrail Program

        You’re as cold as ice.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Lucifer?

    • HazooToo

      Not us, because we’re not allowed…

  • MynameisBlarney
    • proudgrampa

      WHOA!

    • OutOfOrbit

      i can haz some?

    • I’d try those.

      I might even share them with my dogs and cats.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Don’t harsh my mellow, man.”

    • Anna Rompage
    • The Wanderer

      Patented Doggy Downers.

      • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

        Puppy Uppers also too

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Oh good. When my retirement account tanks I can survive on Tender Vittles most of the week and save these for Saturday night!

      • Leslie

        Google is offereing to new employee $99/hr to complete few jobs on the computer .. Labor Some only few hours & stay greater time together with your loved ones … any individual can also avail this online service…on Saturday I bought a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class after I been earning $20400 this past six weeks .it sounds the easiest-work but you wont forgive yourself if you do not have a peek at this.!ew383a:↭↭↭ http://GoogleCashCareerSolarWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥♥e♥♥♥f♥♥b♥♥t♥c♥♥♥k♥g♥♥e♥♥♥y♥♥♥n♥♥d♥♥♥x♥♥♥c♥♥q♥♥♥k♥♥d♥♥t♥♥k♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥x♥♥n♥♥♥l♥♥♥p♥♥♥q:::::!hx233j:lh

    • Master Contrail Program

      Poor dog. The cat has, like, six more lives to chase the dragon with.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Found a partial answer, there, Blarney:
      First of all, they smell horrible and not all critters will even eat them
      Costs 9 bucks a month
      Cotains:Valarian,100 mg;German(?) Chamomile; L-Tryptophan, 100mg; St. John’s Wort, 50mg: Magnesium sterate; Mcro Crystalline; Geletin;Cellulose;whey.
      Mixed reviews

      • weighmaster

        I buy a tea blend with valerian and chamomile. We call it go the fuck to sleep tea.

        • Petunia Cat

          Tryptophan is as good as antihistamines has a sleeping pill. (Antihistamines are an excellent sleeping pill)
          Valerian root smells like hundred thousand-year-old death.

          • weighmaster

            True, but honey and mint go a long way…

    • Phoenixdoglover

      I don’t know, but for some reason that sleepy dog is named “Shitheadsteve”.

    • Roadstergal

      “For when you can’t be arsed to just exercise them until they’re tired.”

      • Bad Tom

        You exercise your cats? How?

        • Petunia Cat

          You make them run in the turned off dryer. Like a hamster wheel*

          *I have seen this on TV. I have no reason to believe anyone made the cat do it. 😼

  • BigCSouthside

    Schumer takes border wall funding off the table for now

    We’re gonna get a shutdown

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Shutdown II: McConnell Boogaloo.

      • BadKitty904

        Yeah, how does that feel, Mitch?

      • Master Contrail Program

        In the spirit of things that were best left in the 80s, like Trump, shouldn’t that be Shutdown Too?

    • BadKitty904

      Republican “government” at its best!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That’s his chip. You wanna wall? Give us the dreamers.

    • Anna Rompage

      Nobody cares about the wall, other than the petulant cheeto….

      • TJ Barke

        He doesn’t even really care. It’s just something shiny to entice the base.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Let’s give Trump a chance to make Mexico pay for it. Have some faith in him, people!

      • Phoenixdoglover

        I was told there would be a pivot.

        • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

          You go to press with the pivot you have*, not the pivot you wish you had**.

          *Stormy Daniels

          **Turmp acting Presidential

      • Raan

        no but give beyond two souls a chance tho

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Of course Schumer is playing 1 dimensional chess.
      The GOP is playing Russian roulette.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Nunes is trying to run a shell game and forgot to bring shells.

      • Jimh

        GOP prefers to play that game with an automatic.

      • Raan

        And all the chambers are loaded.

        “Ace of fours: the best hand. Unbeatable…I imagine.”

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Brinkmanship. DACA is popular. The wall is not. The wall is fucking expensive.

      By all means, let’s have the media talking about this once again in the context of a GOP controlled government. The GOP can’t win this argument.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    You know what would be better than releasing the memo? Getting Trump’s base all fired up by imagining what might be in the memo! I bet it has proof that Obama is from Kenya!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, if you monitor Trump’s Feed on the Twitter machine, you get all sorts of jumping up and down and screaming from Hannity and Uday about the secrets of the universe that are contained in this memo, all of which will disintegrate Mueller and FINALLY put Hitlery and O’Bummer in the hoosegow.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I bet it tells the REAL story behind Jade Helm and Agenda 21!

    • Kgprophet

      I still want to hear those recordings Trump said he made when he talked to Comey. I’m sure they totally exonerate him.

    • littlegreen

      Exactly.

  • Kgprophet

    “All the Russian bots agree that there is no collusion”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Rather ties everything up in one sentence that the Trumpanzees will not be able to fully appreciate.

  • Baconzgood

    I gotta be honest here Devin Nunes isn’t as cock punchable as Tom Cotton.

    My mom always told me to say “nice things” about people I dislike.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Cotton is bar fight material. Nunes is more “look at my thumb, gee you’re dumb”

  • BPMM

    Jim Jordan is a fucking moron. He should be arrested as he is guilty of treason against the US government.

  • Baconzgood

    Baconz has written a few memos during my life span. Sure the lies in the memo get co-workers in trouble for a few days.

    But if you REALLY want to fuck with a co-worker send German porn from his computer or hide rancid deli meat around his work area.

    These guys are armatures.

    • JustDon’tSayCamel

      Sure they aren’t commutators?

    • JustDon’tSayCamel

      And don’t try to brush off my puns!

  • Jgb979

    It’s a memo DEVIN NUNES WROTE??? This is going to save the GOP????

    I hope the entirety is “no puppet you’re the puppet”. CASE CLOSED NO COLLUSION

    • Raan

      I hope a ton of shit is misspelled.

      • Jgb979

        Considering it’s likely not even existing as of 1/23, it wouldn’t surprise me if they leave on the “February 2018” date stamp

  • bbayliss

    This one is simple: release the FISA authorization.
    It required probable cause.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And then the suicides-by-umbrella will begin.

      • Ms.Moon

        Or death by accidental falling hot tub.

        • Raan

          Or polonium tea.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I hear defenestration is also a dictatorial favorite.

      • bbayliss

        Bill Browder‏Verified account
        @Billbrowder
        Follow Follow @Billbrowder
        More
        Here at #WEF18 in Davos. Got an invitation to Davos Russia House for tea. I think I’ll take a pass

  • Mehmeisterjr

    What is the difference between (or among?) a Russian asset, a Russian agent and a Russian spy?

    Because Nunes seems to fit all three categories, if they are distinguishable.

    • Bad Tom

      A Russian asset might not realize they are a Russian asset.

      A Russian agent probably realises they are a Russian agent, but they might not be a Russian spy. A Russian agent is required to register with our government.

      A Russian spy certainly knows they are a Russian spy. They would laugh at the notion of registering with our government.

      • Raan

        Trump is an asset, Flynn was (is?) an agent, and Klaus Fuchs (a physicist who worked on the Manhattan Project) was a spy.

        • Bad Tom

          Exactly.

        • Bad Tom

          Fuchs was one of the designers of the crucial initiator, which provides the initial pulse of neutrons at just the right moment during implosion to begin the atomic reaction.

          His betrayal is why the Soviets were able to explode their own bomb so quickly after Trinity.

  • Mike

    Trump could just declassify all that and release it like he did when he gave the Ruskies the Israeli intel without their consent.
    My guess is it’s deja vu all over again cept instead of Susan Rice the FBI gets to play the part of Deep State…
    Bring it…release the memo…

  • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

    The part that really pisses me off about shitting on the FBI is that these folks are not allowed to push back. And by being the professionals they are, they literally cannot make public noise. That would cost them their jobs.

    Let’s not forget he was trying to also get the names of sources that provided content for the Steele Dossier.

    Fuck Devin Nunes, Russian fucking mole.

    • marksb

      I don’t think he’s a mole. He’s just really fucking stupid.
      Which is a shame, as his college, CalPoly San Luis Obispo, is a really great school. Their engineering and business graduates are considered by many out here on the Left Coast as “the kid you want to hire first” because they can get useful work done on day one, and even their AG programs are pretty much top-drawer–just ask the operations managers at many California wineries.
      But I guess even a fucking stupid AG major gets through occasionally. Probably majored in Dairy Science.

      • Kooolest G

        if I was running a winery I would definitely hire him, if I was running a country, not so much. but I agree calpoly is one of the best schools around

      • BluebirdofUnhappiness

        Probably not. Dairy science is difficult. Probably hospitality management or home ec.

  • mardam422

    I have here in my hand, a memo!!

  • bbayliss

    Amy Siskind‏Verified account
    @Amy_Siskind

    This is nice: Russia and WikiLeaks are teaming up with Nunes and the Republicans to discredit Mueller and our FBI:
    “The frequency with which the accounts have been promoting the hashtag has spiked by 233,000% over the past 48 hours”

    • 3FingerPete

      That’s just an indicator of how serious and damning that secret memo is. It’s Watergate times 9/11!

  • MOG253

    And the base sings Hallelujah! ASSHAT #SHAME #IMPEACHTRUMP and lock up his minions.

  • 3FingerPete

    It’s OK for a Supreme Court Justice to be married to a Tea Party activist but McCabe being married to a Democrat is a conflict of interest?

    Huh.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      No, no, no… the GOP is not like that… get it straight. It’s OK for a Supreme Court Justice to be married to a Tea Party activist and not recuse himself from cases in which his wife is involved but McCabe being married to a Democrat whose career has never intersected with his is a conflict of interest.

      See?

    • khanurik

      I assume you’re talking about Clarence (speak no evil – hell, don’t speak anything) Thomas. Is he even awake during the Supreme Court proceedings? Get Ben Carson on the phone so they can compare dream stages…

      • Petunia Cat

        Dream stages? Hey don’t leave out Wilbur Ross. He’s a skilled #MeetingSleeper 😴

  • YouInDangerGirl!

    Such second-rate political vaudeville. Reality TV President has ruined the Republicans’ ability to put on a tightly scripted drama with an eye towards the second season. What is it, guys? Uranium One or corrupt FBI? I know you all want to be just like Ryan Murphy with your own American Horror Story, but y’all know you can’t keep all those balls in the air like he can :-)

  • LesBontemps

    PUTIN: Now that we have degraded Americans’ confidence in their electoral process and their news media, how can we monkey-wrench their society even further? I’ve got it! Sergei, get me Devin Nunes!

  • TootsStansbury

    This needs to be stopped. Now. And this greasy pinhead needs to spend the rest of his life asking Tiny, the felon, permission to please to be pooping in the nice stainless steel toilet.

  • laineypc

    OT-. Isn’t it about time that somebody from the White House start working on the judiciary? You can’t be a proper authoritarian if you don’t own the judges, right?

    • LesBontemps

      Um, that’s actually the one area they’re working with frightening efficiency, and which will fuck us for decades to come:

      • mailman27

        Yeah, bad news is, they’re on it. It will redound down to my grandchildren. This really is bad news that’s unfolding.

      • mailman27

        Les bontemps will not, in fact, roulez.

      • laineypc

        I was thinking more about those who will be anywhere near the orbit of the Mueller investigation. Special treatment for special judges.

  • renegade500

    Lordy I hate it when Cornyn has a reasonable moment. It’s so unlike him.

    • gratuitous

      Which is a further demonstration of just how ridiculous this whole Nunes memo is: Even John Cornyn can sound reasonable.

      • renegade500

        I know, right!

        • Keith Taylor

          I keep thinking that maybe all this means Cthulhu is about to rise from the bottom of the Pacific and the human race succumb to overwhelming madness, and Yog-Sothoth will no longer be barred out of the universe, which really will implode then as sarafina says, perhaps next month or sooner. And I’m not even as big a Lovecraft fan as I am a Shakespeare fan.

      • sarafina

        Showing that indeed, the universe is imploding.

  • Resistor Radio

    You’re telling Devin Nunes to go fuck himself? Reverse sexism!! Why do you hate men????!!!1!1!1!1

  • bbayliss

    Natasha Bertrand is a treasure.
    @NatashaBertrand
    4h4 hours ago
    Sen. Feinstein and Rep. Schiff have sent a letter to Mark Zuckerberg and @jack urging them to investigate involvement of Russian bots pushing #releasethememo campaign. Here’s my story about it that they cited: http://www.businessinsider.com/release-the-memo-campaign-russia-linked-twitter-accounts-2018-1

    • Petunia Cat

      Yes she is. She’s going to the Atlantic. 😯🎂🍾

  • bbayliss

    Jones says he has the memo, and it’s 99 pages. And that no one has reported on it.

    Um, folks, the FISA memo is 4 pages long. You know what it is 99 pages? A FISC ruling from April. It’s public already; it’s RIGHT HERE.

    https://www.dni.gov/files/documents/icotr/51117/2016_Cert_FISC_Memo_Opin_Order_Apr_2017.pdf

  • Enter Ranting

    Keep it up Nunes. You see, there’s this series of tubes called the internet that captures and stores all of your anti-patriotic dealings forever. When this all starts going south, the internet will remind everyone what a conniving traitor you are. But it’s too late for you to turn back now. Double down. Full speed ahead. Should be fun to watch.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Since your a dairy major, have an extra scoop of sour cream on your borscht

  • TundraGrifter

    So the Steele Memoranda are “fake” and “false” – although nothing in them has been proven to be incorrect. Meanwhile, the double-secret Nunes MEMO is a bombshell of fact that will blow up the Mueller Investigation – except most people are not allowed to read it and the few who have been given permission to do so can’t discuss it. But it’s hot stuff!

    Apparently the first rule of the Nunes MEMO is to not talk the Nunes MEMO.

    At least Fusion GPS were patriotic enough to share with the FBI evidence of a plot against the United States of America. Too bad some Republicans in Congress can’t say the same.

  • khanurik

    The “Mensa picnic” thing is the best I’ve read in days. Sadly, potato salad is dead to me now…

  • Marla

    This pathetic fuck Nazi knows his political career is in the shitter so what does he do? Why pander to the Alex Jone$ fringe for conspiracy rim jobs and “Oh, that darn Hilary” rehash.

    I’m just more than sick of this. Fuck knocks like him need serious mental health counseling not soundbites.

  • Kooolest G

    on the one hand, you’ve got bob mueller who’s a lifetime prosecutor who has surrounded himself with a super team of prosecutors. hell even adam schiff was a US attorney. on the other hand you’ve got devin nunes who has a degree in agriculture. who should I bet on?

  • mailman27

    In Nunes’ defense, it’s hard to make a pot sal that is acceptable to every guest. People are notoriously picky about their side dishes. Let alone the crowd at a Mensa picnic.

  • JBenningfield

    Nunes is a weenie and a bad liar. Always has been. His weenie stats got real strength since Chaffetz left the picture.

  • Zyxomma

    Nunes is recused like Paul Giamatti’s Chuck Rhoades character in Billions. IOW, not at all.

  • rubikcube

    Typical Trump hire.
    Unqualified, dead eyed toady.

  • Leslie

    Google is offereing to new employee $99/hr to complete few jobs on the computer .. Labor Some only few hours & stay greater time together with your loved ones … any individual can also avail this online service…on Saturday I bought a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class after I been earning $20400 this past six weeks .it sounds the easiest-work but you wont forgive yourself if you do not have a peek at this.!me692h:➥➥➥ http://GoogleNewTopUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥u♥y♥p♥f♥♥s♥♥♥n♥♥♥o♥a♥♥♥m♥♥g♥o♥y♥♥n♥♥♥a♥♥♥b♥♥j♥♥♥x♥y♥♥t♥♥d♥♥v♥v♥d♥x♥c:::::!le871b:lhuhuh

  • sarafina

    I’m just asking, but can’t Schiff release the memo the way Feinstein released that Fusion guy testimony?

  • Natalie Frenshen

    Alternative headline-
    Dumb guy preps for prison.

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    Oh lordy. I hadn’t heard the potato salad comment before – what a classic.

  • Sharla Fouquet

    “Maybe Nunes just wants to masturbate to the hot sexts” 😄😄😄😄😄 Can eunuchs even masturbate?

  • Keith Taylor

    Maybe Nunes really does want to masturbate to the sexts? Okay. This now elderly man is determined to restrain any unseemly curiosity, and far be it from me to get a sleazy kick out of other people’s affairs when I don’t even know them, but I would hazard a guess that very likely Peter Strzok and Lisa Page had better sex than Devin Nunes has EVER had with anybody.

  • george lastrapes

    Remember the dweeblings in high school who had girlfriends who nobody ever saw, went to a different school, couldn’t come to the party cuz her mom died, bla bla bla. Is that Dev the Deev? Did his girlfriend write the Secret Memo?

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