SHARE

This past Sunday, 13 siblings, ranging in age from 2-29, were found in the home of David and Anna Turpin, malnourished and dirty and, in some cases, literally shackled to their beds with padlocks. They were discovered after one of the children escaped and called 911. Many of the children were so malnourished that they had to be hospitalized.

The Turpins were reportedly very religious and required their children to memorize the Bible.

The reason why this was all just being discovered now is because the children were homeschooled in California, a state which has extremely lax laws regarding the practice. They were never checked up on by anybody. All you have to do in order to homeschool your children in the state is to simply tell the government of your intent to do so. Had they been required to attend traditional school, had they even just been checked up on every once in a while, they could have been rescued a long time ago.

One of the functions schooling is supposed to serve is to provide a check against these things. This is so that if a child is abused they have someone to talk to, so if a teacher sees signs of parental neglect or child abuse they can solicit a welfare check on the family. With homeschooling in many states, there is no such check.

This means that parents like the Turpins have free reign, essentially, to torture their children. They are far from an isolated case.

Via LA Times:

The Turpin children were found chained to their beds. So was Calista Springer, a 13-year-old Michigan girl who died in a house fire in 2009 when she was unable to free herself. Christian Choate of Indiana was kept naked in a cage; he died in 2009, at age 13, but his death was not discovered until two years later. In Arizona, a 14-year-old girl was locked in a bedroom for more than a year and routinely raped by her father; she escaped by kicking down the door when the rest of the family was away and running two miles across town to the home of a friend from when she attended school.

In Ohio, a couple forced their 11 adopted special needs children to sleep in cages. As with the Turpins, those parents told investigators they believed they had done nothing wrong. Two sisters in Florida were locked in makeshift cages and whipped with leather straps. In nearby Georgia, Mitch Comer spent four years locked in a bedroom in his family’s home. When he turned 18, his parents put him on a bus to Los Angeles with pamphlets for homeless shelters.

And those are just cases of extreme abuse. They don’t include the children who are simply not learning anything, or the children who suffer from social isolation. In 2014, transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn was pulled out of school by her parents, homeschooled and sent to conversion therapy. The combination of abuse, lack of support and social isolation led her to kill herself.

People can and do have very different experiences with homeschooling, and a lot of that depends on both their parents and the amount of regulation and oversight involved in the process. A few years ago, my friend and former co-worker Bronwyn Isaac wrote about her positive experience being homeschooled in Seattle, Washington, where the practice was more heavily regulated.

In Seattle, and surrounding towns, it was required that you portfolio your learning to the state in order to receive credits and eventually graduate with a high-school diploma. For many, myself included this meant attending an “alternative school” a few days a week where we attended classes for a handful of subjects, which we’d then supplement with independent subjects at home.

However, my other friend and former roommate, Jennifer Johnston, who got the Christian homeschooling treatment in Ohio, had a very different experience altogether, and now opposes homeschooling except for “kids who really can’t attend traditional school,” and believes it provides the perfect cover for parents who are abusive or neglectful.

I am outspoken against home education because of the lack of regulation. You can basically pull your kid out of school and never teach them and no one can do anything to stop you.

As an example, she cites 12-year-olds in her homeschooling group that could not even read, and an 8-year-old homeschooled child she met who was not only socially isolated, but whose entire education so far involved reading geology books.

In her experience, the only oversight was that a teacher would “sign off on your work once a year and you would submit it to the state.” Many states don’t even require that much. Some states don’t even require parents to tell anyone that they are homeschooling their children.

Perhaps even more disturbing is the fact that only two states — Pennsylvania and Arkansas — require any kind of background check on parents before allowing them to homeschool their children. Pennsylvania won’t allow parents who have been convicted of a number of things within the last five years to homeschool their children, and Arkansas prohibits convicted sex offenders from homeschooling — which should really be the bare minimum.

The state of New Hampshire, legislators are currently debating whether or not to reinstate regulations on homeschooling that were done away with in 2012.

The bill “amends the educational evaluation procedures for home educated children and adds notice, hearing, and appeals procedures relative to the termination of a home education program. The bill also clarifies the school district’s limited liability for home educated children.”

Homeschooling advocates like Ann Marie Banfield are not happy about this, and insist that such regulations don’t actually benefit anybody.

“I can’t think of anyone who benefits from regulating the homeschoolers,” Banfield said. “It’s just not necessary. It’s not a big problem in the state, and there is an avenue if there is a problem with a homeschool family. You report it to the state, and the state can investigate. You’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.”

I would say that those regulations probably benefit the children? From my admittedly small sample group of people I happen to know who were homeschooled, it certainly seems as if there is a direct correlation between heavier regulation and having had a positive experience with homeschooling.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, a large number of homeschooling “alumni” are now very vocal about their opposition to the practice. The website Homeschoolers Anonymous provides a venue for them to discuss their often-traumatic experiences. Their stories are harrowing, particularly because so many of them could have been prevented with even minimal oversight.

While completely banning the practice of homeschooling would be unlikely, there needs to be far more regulation than currently exists. If all these former homeschoolers are saying there is something seriously wrong with the way they were educated, if so many of them are reporting abuse, if we keep seeing stories like the Turpin’s house of horrors, something clearly needs to be done. These are children and they deserve to be protected and they deserve to be educated.

Homeschooling students must be checked up on and regularly evaluated, there must be general welfare checks, parents must undergo background checks and perhaps attend some form of training in order to qualify, there must be ways of evaluating these children to ensure that they are keeping up with their peers in traditional school — and if certain regulations are not adhered to, those children must be put in school. We can’t have situations where abusive parents are “homeschooling” their children in order to provide a cover for abuse.

If parents are doing a great job of homeschooling their children, that’s wonderful. But those wonderful parents should be willing to accept a certain amount of oversight so that children with less-than-wonderful homeschooling parents do not end up in situations like the Turpins.

[LA Times | Homeschoolers Anonymous]

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! Click here to tip us!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • President in Exile Firefly

    Here’s what I’ve often wondered–what happens when the homeschooled kids have to go to work as adults?

  • Ling Ling

    Home schooling is a lie. Full stop. One must learn how to navigate the world and the best way is to go out into the world. Home schooling robs children of this experience. Also, the idea that poorly educated semi literate religious nuts can prepare their kids for the SAT is also a big fail.

    • willi0000000

      most of the time . . . and i’m talking 99.999+% of the time.

      one of my friends home schooled his two daughters . . . when their peers were in the eighth grade they had already finished a good part of a year of college (a good college).

      i should have mentioned that he and his daughters would not be allowed in Mensa because they would shame everybody else there . . . and all three were quite well adjusted socially.

      i have no idea why he put up with an idiot like me.

    • cleos_mom

      In the 1990s I worked at a local historical attraction that hosted a couple of thousand schoolkids every year, and that included some home school groups plus, of course, family groups. I probably saw more home schooled kids during those years than home schooling parents ever see. And one of the things we all noticed from jump street about them was the lack of socialization. Some couldn’t stand to not be the center of attention for a second and others acted years younger than they were; e.g., “12 years old going on 8.”

  • spangled

    I have neighbors that have 6(?) kids that they home school. A newborn to a 17 year old. No way are they learning anything.

    I’m a pretty non judgemental person, but these people are just the worst. And they’re reaaaal sketchy and weird about lots of other stuff.

    • proudgrampa

      Maybe they’re learning how to change diapers?

    • Eileen Besse

      Maybe someone needs to let “someone” in authority know what’s up in the neighborhood?

    • Bill O’Neil

      Are they religious fundamentalists?

    • My wife was informally tutoring a teenager who’s being homeschooled. Her mom pulled her out after half a year because her daughter was getting more schoolwork done in six hours at our place than she was during her regular lessons at home the rest of the week, and Mom was feeling inadequate.

      She’s 17 and is operating at about a 7th grade level. (5th grade for math.)

  • Ryan Denniston

    I have a hard time even snarking this is so horrible. Thanks Robyn!

    • Nounverb911

      I started three comments and deleted them halfway through….

      • Ryan Denniston

        IKR?

      • proudgrampa

        I know how you feel…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I try to be a glass half full kind of guy, so hard these days, but Sarah Huckabee “Colonel” Sanders could get a few hairstyle tips from Mr. Turpin.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    The worst part of the Turpin story is they cared for their dogs but not their kids.

    http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/19/us/turpin-family-dogs/index.html

    • Ninja0980

      Sadly I’ve seen stories like that again and again.
      Heck, Hitler was an animal lover and even banned lobsters from being boiled alive because he hated the sounds of their screams.
      Ironic in a sick way isn’t it?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Yeah, its like they knew what they where doing was wrong but intentionally did it anyway.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Since lobsters occasionally cannibalize each other, he was pretty sure they weren’t Jewish.

  • proudgrampa

    Homeschooling is a scam. With results like this story.

    I hope these clowns are put away for a VERY long time.

  • Crystalclear12

    Even if there is no abuse most homeschooling is merely transferring ignorance from one generation to the next.

    • FlownΩver

      A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, unless you compare it to a whole lotta stupid.

  • kingeider

    reportedly very religious ==what was the sect?

    • One of the Pentecostal groups. But apparently they didn’t show up at churches.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Conveniencetarians

  • Although my state is one of the ones that has the thorough assessment provisions, it doesn’t always turn out well for the children in the longer run. One of the families in my town home schooled their sons, since the mother was a devout Christian who wanted to keep them from the “corrupting” influences of the school. One is a convicted felon, the other got booted with a bad conduct discharge from the military. After they turned 18, the two of them virtually ran to all the corrupting influences, including drugs.

  • OrG

    My parents home-schooled me, AND sent me to public school. I could read and do arithmetic before any of my classmates.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      My mother did try to organize play groups at preschools and the like. She had a lot to contend with. At some point I decided I didn’t want to play with the other kids anymore because some of them were mean, and they weren’t easy to talk to. I had a broader vocabulary because I used to love reading the dictionary, so they made fun of me for being a “talking book.” Except in that being a recluse has damaged my earning potential, which at this point is really all I care about (not so much being rich but having enough to survive) casual socialization is overrated from where I sit. People are assholes who start out as bullying little shits.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “If parents are doing a great job of
    homeschooling their children, that’s wonderful. But those wonderful
    parents should be willing to accept a certain amount of oversight so
    that children with less-than-wonderful homeschooling parents do not end
    up in situations like the Turpins.”

    At the very least, some evidence that this is as effective as traditional schooling. We don’t live in the Rawhide verse anymore, we live in the stupidverse and must prepare ourselves.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Holy shit! Dude looks like an even more evil and demented Phil Spector…without the hit records in his resume’.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Resume’?! No, I somehow don’t think he offered French in the curriculum.

  • Toomush Stability

    Ah! Now I know how Michigan ended up voting for donald…..

  • Bill D. Burger

    Words fail. It’s remarkable that all those children survived such horrendous neglect and abuse. The scale of this was beyond belief, but there are, as the other stories point out, so many other children in peril. I can’t even begin to fathom how a parent could do that to a child.

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/crTk-ib8QRI/hqdefault.jpg

    • Mehmeisterjr

      We don’t know that they all survived.

      LE must be using cadaver dogs and backhoes at every location where these monsters lived.

  • TJ Barke

    I called it that they were fundies as soon as I first heard about this.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What was your first clue?

      • TJ Barke

        The child neglect and abuse.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I homeschool all of the children I made up to get extra tax deductions. No complaints so far.”

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Dogs and cats, two, ore STFU!

  • pstokk

    Hoping kids when they reach adulthood start suing states that allow homeschooling. Nothing like multi-million dollar payouts to focus the minds of legislators. No idea if that’s possible.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities ___ Voltaire

    https://alwaysquestionauthority.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/1961909_246959995476112_479519719_o.jpg

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      She has great handwriting,

      • Latverian Diplomat

        You mean “God gave her great handwriting! Which she is misusing for blasphemy!” ;-)

    • amrak63

      This is one reason I would make a poor evangelist; I am too aware that the wrong interpretations of Christianity (and other faiths, for that matter) do more evil than good.

      Since I don’t believe the Deity is petty and vindictive, I think the child, whenever she dies, hopefully after a long and full life, will go to Heaven anyway–so she might, indeed, be better off with no faith at all, than with the cruel and negative kind of faith.

      Again, this would make me a poor evangelist.

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        You don’t need religion to live a life of faith. Personally I have mega super faith in my wife and my marriage, my country, science, and the inherent goodness of human beings. I’m sure religion is a fine thing to have faith in, but it doesn’t work for me.

        Anyway, I just wanted to point out that The Big Bearded Man In The Sky does not have a monopoly on faith, probably not even in your life.

        • cleos_mom

          As we all [should] know, it’s not just the religious who respond to reasonable statements with proselytizing.

    • Ryan Denniston

      oAotK, if you’re writing this under the pressure of home school, you hope for panel B. If not, you receive panel A at home everyday.

    • Jennifer R

      I shall like to see the last king strangled with the entrails of the last priest – Also Voltaire.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Well, except for the sinful part, that’s technically what science says about me too. Except for those kooks who think the DSM is bullshit and mental illness is an X-men super power or some such crap. I’m not a genius; I am smart, but I’m not stable, and I’ll never be. Thanks, dad.

      • Ill-Advised

        You have a lot of company, and unlike the religion, the science gets better. Eventually. Social disorders…well, by definition, we all suffer that one. Some get a bigger helping than others.

        I think it was Albert Camus who said “Nobody realizes some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

  • The Turpins were reportedly very religious and required their children to memorize the Bible.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6e0ba7762caaccc55b1ce66e90d838864972942f9f55e4c417a79f7498ad9a1.jpg

  • Latverian Diplomat

    One problem with public schooling is that your peers will inevitably convince you that your parents are assholes. However, if your parents really are assholes, this is handy. Of course, this one one reason why so many asshole parents want to home school.

    • I call that “puberty” and “being a teenager.” I thought my parents were clueless and often assholes at the time. My peers thought they were pretty cool.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Peer influence is also part of it. e.g., “Susie’s mom lets her do x, why don’t you let me do x, you are the worst parents ever, all my friends agree!”

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        I stopped speaking to mine when i was 12. That lasted 2 days.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      I didn’t need friends to convince me that my father was and is an asshole. If Disqus hasn’t purged it due to the length, see my attempt at telling my story above. My mother went above and beyond to do all she could in a rather unique and bizarre situation where, actually, the school district itself wouldn’t let me in. I probably got a better education from her than I ever would from such a shitty, bigoted town. I certainly learned enough about life and about people not to get married and have kids.

      • Marion in Savannah

        It was purged? I read it all. Dicksus sucks. Glad you got through that to the other side in one piece.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Thanks. I read this at the Guardian the other day and while it leaves me somewhat optimistic about not having to get all the way to the other side (I want to get a job if only as a form of personal validation, I can do what other people can do)… it makes me disappointed that it’s too late for me to get a job because jobs are no longer going to exist.

          • Marion in Savannah

            FWIW, your entire comment is still available in its entirety. And it’s VERY worth reading. And people are reading it.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ms. Gnome noted that our IQ’s went up about a hundred points after the offspring had his own kid.

  • Bemused

    Unless a parent is VERY education oriented, they shouldn’t be homeschooling their kids. None of the online programs get good results and, in fact, generally only get the same results as when kids aren’t schooled at all and most parents don’t have the breadth of knowledge to school especially secondary age kids in all their subject areas.

    • Courser_Resistance

      There are some hybrid type schooling programs in the Metro that I’ve heard good things about but I think they’re geared mostly toward high school students to give them some next level experiences either in the academic or trade fields of their choice.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I’m still hoping to get federal funding form my home schooling program, completely home based and built on the XBox platform. School lunches provided by pizza delivery.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Pizza? Luxury! Why not go off to the big box store and stock up on those peanut butter cheese crackers? They’ll last for years.

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        Or those meals Jim Bakker sells!

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      As long as the pizza has peppers on it so they get a vegetable.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        Isn’t the tomato sauce a vegetable? Or is that ketchup?

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      My nephew would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    There have actually been lawsuits here filed by homeschool parents demanding that their goober kids be allowed to play sports and attend the prom at the public high schools. Fuck the system unless there’s some specific benefit for me. Republican ethos in a nutshell.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      They are free to enroll in public school.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The same is true for the homo kids. That’s the real fucking problem they have with public school.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          so it’s about butt sex? Always with the butt sex! these people.

          • gallbladder

            That and projection.

          • Resistor Radio

            Yep. Go Phoenecians! Or wildcats, or whatever Peen Dad got them to change the mascot to.

          • The Wanderer

            De Sade considered The Buttsecks to be the ultimate philosophical act.

    • But they’ll also bitch about having to pay school taxes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Every child has the right to a concussion or an unplanned pregnancy!

      But, education is optional.

    • Jennifer R

      I mean, in a lot of cases it’s probably better for the kid to get to socialize?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yes. Which they could do to their heart’s content if they were fucking enrolled in the public school. But then they’d run the risk of getting gay cooties from “those” kids.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, but the parents are already dead set on fucking the kids up, we are duty bound to try to counteract as much of that as possible.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I see your point, but what I hear is “public school is evil and will lead our kids to Satan, but we want some of the free shit that they don’t get in home school.” Like the survivalist assholes that don’t pay taxes, but use the roads, libraries, and the U.S. Postal Service. Walk the talk.

          • Jennifer R

            Think back to when you were in elementary, middle, or high school. How much agency did you actually have in regards to doing things your parents didn’t want you to be doing?
            You aren’t punishing the parents, you are punishing the kids for the sins of their parents.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            As I said above, I don’t really care if homeschooled kids play high school football. What I object to is their parents teaching them-as they are about to become young adults-that it is good to try to manipulate and game the system without buying into it.

          • Jennifer R

            Then use the sports time to teach them why being free riders sucks. Like there is no reason for 99% of homeschooling to happen, but until we can legislated it away we should do what we can to undermine it from the existing system.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      As long as they pay whatever taxes support the school.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Our regulations are pretty simple – a homeschooled student may participate in athletics, but only at whatever high school they are zoned for. They may not participate in activities like prom or homecoming (outside of playing in the game) unless they are actively enrolled.

      On the academic side, the rules are the same since we do have a few charter schools who participate with the public schools. Homeschooled kids have to compete for the school they are zoned for unless that school does not have a program. Then they can compete on the specific “Homeschool” team.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I don’t actually care if they play sports, but from Drublic Jr.’s experience as a standout high school soccer player, one of the most important things beyond vying for State etc. was the sense of shared effort and team ethos involved with representing your school and community honorably. You can’t represent your school if you don’t actually go there but just show up for athletics.

    • mailman27

      Hmmm, lemme see… yeah, no. Bullshit!!

  • TJ Barke

    Yeah, but that 8 year old is gonna be a helluva geologist.

  • Bill D. Burger

    It occurs to me that if you removed the first line from this pic., it would certainly be considered the abuse of a child. Leave that simple religious note in and it’s ‘religious instruction’ and OK with Fundies, Righties and most Republicans.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/033b042ffa38635c0bd17a5ad6b8e242c788489e26d7055c159b6334b41deab9.jpg

  • The Wanderer

    When people tell me that God is loving and benevolent, I point to this. And I brush aside the bullshit about “free will;” if that was a gift, an omniscient being would have known how we’d abuse it. A gift that can destroy us is a wonderful thing, ain’t it?

    • Resistor Radio

      Christian God needs to submit to more oversight and common-sense regulations.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      There are about two trillion galaxies in the universe. We keep finding more that God forgot behind the silverware drawer. While she may have made the universe possible, I think she left us on our own.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    1968 called. They want their Prince Valiant haircut back.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • Martini A, very stable genius

    So obviously a sample size of one isn’t enough, but the only family that I know that homeschools their kid has a seriously socially maladjusted child. The parents are very smart and very devoted, and I have no doubts their boy is brilliant and knowledgeable. And yet, I just don’t see this isolated approach as doing right by him.

    • Another data point with the homeschooling family I know. I’ve never seen a human flinch so much.

  • Marion in Savannah

    This program is currently been actively advertised on the TeeBee down here. I don’t know anything about it, but it might be a viable alternative to “let the parents teach them or not.” Does anyone know anything about it?

    http://www.k12.com/virtual-school-offerings/free-online-public-schools.html

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      It just seems like its open for abuse like a lot of online schools.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      It’s a mixed bag – really motivated, self-starting students will typically flourish. But too often it’s used as a “dumping ground” for kids who are at best apathetic to schooling. And if having a teacher right there doesn’t get them to do the work, how does letting them loose with just a computer do better?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, at least they’re interacting with at least one human being who isn’t in the home. Which may be better than nothing?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        It would also require a parent who has time and knowledge to help the kid and make sure they do the work. But most families have both parents working one or more jobs just to pay the bills.

      • Arolpin

        My sister works for them, as an analyst now, but previously as a math teacher. She said it was really good for motivated kids (she had a couple students who were top-level athletes), and good for kids who tried. She felt she gave more 1-on-1 attention than she did in a traditional classroom.
        She know wrangles big data to ensure compliance, and she says it’s obvious that not all of the offices are following the same standards. (She has also worked at regular public schools, alternative public schools and public on-line schools, so she has a lot to compare it to.)

    • Mystery_Poster

      I believe Betsy DeVos made some money with K12 somehow.

    • Resistor Radio

      I see that commercial a lot as well, and it seems like a creepy for-profit copout, to me.

    • Bemused

      Virtual programs aren’t effective. You might as well not school at all. We never get kids coming in from K12 who are up to grade level.

    • counterfactual

      In Ohio, they make their students take the same proficiency tests that the public school kids take. The past two year’s I’ve had temp tech-support gigs doing their test sites. The half-dozen teachers I’ve met have uniformly been nice, motivated and organized. The students include kids on the autism spectrum that were poorly served by their rural public schools or high schoolers that were relentlessly bullied. It does depend on the parents getting the kids to work though. You can rely an about half the high school kids blowing off the 11th grade proficiency tests.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Is it me, or is there a sort of correlation between the results of unregulated home schooling and the results of unregulated gun ownership?

    • pure coincidence.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Yeah — that’s veering dangerously close to facts and stuffs.

    • phoenix00

      The justifications for both sound eerily similar….

  • Mystery_Poster

    My SIL used to teach adult ed in our town. Lots of times, former homeschooled adults would come in wanting to get their GED. They would often test at the 3rd grade level for math. Their reponse was often, “Oh, yeah. That’s when we stopped doing math.”

    • Marion in Savannah

      I wonder how many parents who home school remember how to solve algebraic equations? Or can teach geometry beyond A squared + B squared = C squared.

      • Mystery_Poster

        Exactly, so they just stop doing math.

      • I’d go a step further and look at how many remember long division.

        • Marion in Savannah

          [snerk] I always HATED math when I was a kid, and long division was a particular nemesis. When did I get good at it? When I was interested in something, and had to figure stuff out in chemistry class.

          • I had an asshole for a math teacher and just shut down for two years. funny enough, chemistry was the subject that got me out of the rut as well.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Hi, fellow science nerd!

      • Fartknocker

        Linear equations are for sissies.

      • TundraGrifter

        When our daughter started school, I knew if I wanted to be able to help her with her homework I’d have to learn math all over again. At least the new terms – the concepts remained the same. So we started doing homework together in pre-school and I made it all the way to algebra. That’s when we hired a tutor to help her the rest of the way.

        • Marion in Savannah

          You’re the exception that proves the rule. And YAY for doing that.

          • TundraGrifter

            Thank you! I can wing the English and Social Studies, but not the Math. That I had to relearn. Just as I had to learn to speak Finance and Banking when I went to work for an investment bank. I was a word guy in a numbers world.

      • Crank Tango

        I’d be really pyth’ed if I forgot that one.

        • Marion in Savannah

          ISWYDT.

      • Kateaux

        What do you mean, “remember” how to solve algebraic equations? I’d be surprised if some of these homeschooling twits ever got that far in the first place.

      • Doug Langley
      • Celtic_Gnome

        Home schooling’s like Wonkette. We were told there’d be no math.

      • cleos_mom

        One of the mysteries I’ll never see solved is why so many people who aren’t good at math seem to regard it as some kind of accomplishment. Not quite like being proud of not being adept at cake decorating but just as baffling.

  • Jonny On Maui

    “I can’t think of anyone who benefits from regulating the homeschoolers,” Banfield

    I can. All the rest of us.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I don’t know much about homeschooling, but it seems to me that a quarterly interview (without the parent(s) present) and an annual visit/inspection should be the minimum requirements, and those should be federally mandated.

    I mean, right? How can you justify less than that?

    • Marion in Savannah

      FREEDUMB!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Urgh.

    • OrG

      What don’t you understand about getting rid of gubmint regalations?

  • Mystery_Poster

    I wonder if those children could even read.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      I am pretty sure they didnt even know what a book was.

      • gallbladder

        Nor sunlight.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Well, they certainly knew what the Good Book was.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      From what I read, some of them are so detached they don’t know what a police officer is or what medicine is for.

    • they have to be able to read at least some of the Bible.

      • theCryptofishist

        And the digits 1 and 9.

      • Mystery_Poster

        They had to memorize it, which left me wondering…

        • theCryptofishist

          Well, they could have had recordings of it playing all day.

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar
          • Marion in Savannah

            Oh, lordy… They’re flogging that POS on the TeeBee down here. If it weren’t so expensive Mr. MinS and I would have gotten it for our priest for Christmas. We have a loooong tradition of buying priests crap religious items for Christmas.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Parents could read it again and again and again and force them to parrot it back. No need to learn to read at all.

          • theCryptofishist

            wouldn’t that be too much interaction for the parents?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Not when we’re talking about JESUS. (Who is patiently waiting for them to show up so he can show them the door to hell.)

          • Raan

            Now I’m just imagining Peter and Jesus executing a dual snapmare and sending these two from the pearly gates straight through the Earth’s mantle to the gates of hell.

          • I thought about that after posting the comment. worked for the Catholics for centuries.

    • Kateaux

      I read something about the children being required to keep journals, so I would say yes. God knows why these people bothered, or what creepy purpose it served. But hey, that gives the investigators literal volumes of potential evidence to pore over, and that would seem to be a good thing.

    • cleos_mom

      Apparently they were at least literate since they had journals.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I have this fear of bad things happening in my neighbours’ homes and me not being perceptive enough to call the police or just warn someone.
    Sometimes, I hear babies crying very hard and I wonder “Is it normal ? What if he was mistreated ?”
    You know, sometimes, when a horrible story like that come out, people would often say “Yeah, sometimes, we heard screaming or fighting but we didn’t think it was this bad…” I’d hate to be in the position of being able to do something and not doing it because I think I’m just paranoid.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Speaking as someone bound by law as a mandatory reporter, if you suspect something you should at minimum contact either CPS or law enforcement. Maybe they’ll brush you off, but it’s better to overreact than not react at all.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I know how you feel. Last year I called Animal Control on my next door neighbors whose dogs were out in the yard in the middle of summer without any water or food that I could see. Neighbor of course went nuts, but so what? At least the dogs weren’t dead. (They moved out shortly thereafter, leaving their yard looking like the town dump.)

      • shivaskeeper

        Years ago a similar call happened to me. I had a black lab mix. I picked a friend’s dog to watch while they were out of town for a few weeks. The dog was a black greyhound.

        Someone saw me walking this thin ass dog when my dog was known to be a barrel on logs. From close up you could tell they were different dogs, different breeds, and even different heights, but from a distance all you would see was a thick black dog that now looked like a thin black dog.

        Animal control came out with the local PD to do a check. Once we figured out what happened it was all good. No bad feelings on my part, and the Animal Control guy said he would tell the anonymous caller that it was a completely different dog and all was good.

        • Marion in Savannah

          When Animal Control is good, they’re very good. They’re very good around here. A little over a year ago I was bitten by a pit bull that jumped over her fence. Animal Control came to get her, and of course she didn’t have up to date shots. Dog was taken into quarantine, and I was kept informed. (Also, Animal Control officer said she was a really sweet dog, which I believe. She’d just never been taught any manners.) We’ve got really good folks doing that thankless job down here.

    • theCryptofishist

      I wonder if you ever saw that thing from Homeland Security, Project Blue, maybe? It’s to deal with human trafficking, and they had these pictures of people who might be human trafficked. There was like a cleaning lady, and when you looked at the advertisement or even went to the website, there was no indication of what you were actually looking for? Are we supposed to turn in any cleaning lady we see, under suspicion of being slave labor? So, yeah, less than useful…

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Forget homeschooling, this haircut should be enough justification for routine checks by the state:
    https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/78/590x/turpin-906054.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      Now we know what happened to Phil Spector’s barber.

    • theCryptofishist

      Or maybe a nice snip of the vas.

      • Crank Tango

        With rusty hedgeclippers.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Not a snip. An “ectomy.” Remove the damn thing. That way you’re sure.

      • The Wanderer

        With a ten-pound sledgehammer.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      It is truly an abomination unto humanity.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, if Betsy DeVos decides to quit he’s probably next in line for her job.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I’d say, “Who does your hair?”, but I’m pretty sure the answer’s Mrs. Turpin.

  • Rasilom

    I used to work in the rental shack at our local ski area. This was about 25 years ago. We had school groups that came up for ski lessons and a day out Thursday and Friday every week. The public school kids were almost always zero or minimal issues. The ocasional my boits hurt or I wanted pink skis or blue skis. The day that always sucked the worst was the Home School day of the month. Almost all of the kids were socially stunted. Did not get basic social interaction. Parents were demanding and unreasonable. One of my favorite moments from those days was when this one 13 yr old bastard looked me in the eyes and said “Your long hair is an affront to Jesus and God!” I smiled and said “Funny I have never seen a short haired Jesus painting. Guess Jesus was an afront to God also. Seems like good company.” You could actually see his brain shorting out. He had ZERO critical thinking skills.

    • Crank Tango

      … and then I pushed his face in the yellow snow.

    • The Wanderer

      Does he have a job in the Trump White House now?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Mike Pence.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      I hope you gave him boots that were two sizes too small.

    • blaid droog

      Just read this. We all have our little personal stories to back up the things we feel and our reactions to others. I liked yours.

  • Shan

    The fundagelicals (like Quiverfuls) have strong lobbying groups fighting against regulations.

  • Crank Tango
    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Wait, is that Weird Al? Excellent!

      • Crank Tango

        Yeah, it’s from UHF, a must-see if you haven’t yet.

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          You are right, I need to rectify that lack of cultural exposure. I pretty much love both those guys. The very best comedy show I ever attended as an Emo Philips.

    • data_ninja

      I knew that haircut looked familiar. Emo Phillips, have far you have strayed!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      He’s bigly incredible with the cyber.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Are you SURE it’s just a name?
      Aside: I worked in the City of Toronto land registry office for a while in 1977. I got to handle a lot of documents going back to the establishment of the city (as the town of York) in the 18th century. One I had to print out for a title search (I made a copy for myself) was a parcel of downtown land that belonged to ‘The Estate of George A. Shaw, a Lunatic.’

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        while that would make me chuckle too – sadly, that was how they referred to the mentally ill back then.

        I think the immigration laws still refers to people who could be denied entry as beggars, idiots, and lunatics.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Obligatory ‘We already have more than enough for the legislature’ joke here.

    • Doug Langley

      So how do lawyers keep a straight face?

  • mailman27

    So, I went to public school all the way from 1 to 12. There were some people who went from 12th grade to Ivy League, some of ’em went to State U, some went to tech school or no post-secondary at all. What I’m trying to say is, you can get just as much as you need from our schools. I didn’t like every one of my teachers, (nobody did!), but they were all professionals. I strongly suspect that they still are. I trusted all three of my children to public education, they all went on to get graduate degrees and they’re doing just fine. My grandchildren attend public school also, too. I’m just sayin.

    • Mystery_Poster

      I teach in public school, and one former colleague homeschooled his children. I didn’t understand that, why would you work in public education if you didn’t believe in it? It’s like working for Pepsi but drinking Coke.

  • BadKitty904

    One look at Mom’s eyes (above) tells me all I need to know…

    • gallbladder

      That and her smile.

      • BadKitty904

        Like cracks in the Gates of Hell…

        • The Wanderer

          One author I read stated that insanity was contagious – you get it from eye contact.
          I’ve looked in the eyes of a lot of crazy people.

    • The Wanderer

      Oh yes. I’ve seen eyes like that.

    • OutOfOrbit

      which on is Mom?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Look who takes advantage of the dog not looking after the henhouse?

    I dunno if that even is an expression but I thought it would fit the narrative.

    https://twitter.com/leloveluck/status/954826497939918848

    • The Wanderer

      That was expected; the Russians had been pulling out of the area over the past few days.

    • BadKitty904

      Why not? The U.S. has no functioning government to do anything about it…

    • TJ Barke

      Viva Rojava!

    • Herr Yam’s BFF? quelle surprise.

    • Marion in Savannah

      They’re attacking nasal spray? /s (Sorry — there are times when I just can’t help myself.)

      • The Wanderer

        (giggles)

  • The Wanderer
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      One idea being floated by Republicans was to renew government funding through Feb. 8 to end the shutdown, while working to resolve other issues, ranging from immigration, military and non-military spending levels, disaster relief and some healthcare issues.

      So we can do this all again in 3 weeks?

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        After a year, the Republicans can’t even agree amongst themselves how to do all of that. What good’s another three weeks?

        • They want the dems to take tje blame. The second the media starts pointing out that cannot be the case the sooner this ends

          • Lord Jim

            Republicans only exist to destroy the government that protects the rest of us from their plutocrat paymasters.

      • The Wanderer

        They’ve had plenty of time to work shit out. Trump said he’d take the heat on a compromise DACA fix, and two days later shit on the idea.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Didnt Kelly call and say it was too liberal and off the table? So much for the idea of him being the adult in the room.

          Yeah they have had since they took office since the fiscal year started in October. But they can make time for the tax cuts for the super rich but not anything else.

          • The Wanderer

            Yep. Trump’s like Nikolai II – he listens to the last person who gets a chance to talk to him.

          • Beelzebubba

            Somebody needs to throw a sack over Kelley’s head and stuff him into a closet until this gets resolved.

      • shivaskeeper

        And then a month after that. And a few weeks after that. And on and on and on. Even last year’s budget was only a CR through the end of the year.

        This, for me, is probably the most tiring aspect of this. Lurching form one self made budget crisis to another. It’s going to take a fucking year just to write up a workable budget after this much time without one.

        The sequester was written in to law as the big stick to beat the Congress with to make them do one of the only Constitutionally mandated jobs they have. No one would be stupid enough to allow the sequester to take effect. The House and specifically the Tea Party crazies were that stupid. And we have been under that bullshit for years now.

        After they went that route I don;t think there will be any punishments you could put on a CR expiration timeline to make them bargain in good faith. Unless you had any Congressperson who failed at their most basic responsibility be physically pilloried in the public square for a set amount of time.

      • suziq

        It’s not like they need more information or are working on something. Figure it out and pass something that lasts until the end of the fiscal year. Then they can start their procrastinating for the next budget year. But they won’t of course.

      • dshwa

        On what planet do they think the dems will fall for that after watching them lie to Collins over the tax bill?

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Or lie to Flake over DACA? I guess they just assume everyone is as gullible as they are.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, trying to negotiate with the Great Deal Maker must be very much like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Flavoured gelatin libel!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      There’s no room for him, though. Or is he comparing the pervert-in-chief to Bill Cosby?

    • Doug Langley

      I didn’t see the Jello part. There was too much “Dems are so awful!” crap in the way.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Slander lawsuit from Jello in 5 … 4 … 3 …

      • dshwa

        Didn’t they have Cosby on the payroll for decades? Good luck winning that suit.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I work in an alternative school, and we’ve had a few kids disappear down the home school hole.

    Given the usual quality of parenting these kids receive I’m pretty sure they’re just learning to score fentanyl.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    A bit of a lengthy story, but do read if you can. Disqus is probably going to kill it because of the length, but here goes. My experience with home-schooling was out of necessity, because the school district actually wouldn’t let me go to school. Yes, this is a thing in America, and yes, even in the state that gave the world Horace Mann. So I’ve written here about my dysfunctional and outright abusive upbringing before. What happened was, to avoid my father, I used to stay over at my (maternal) grandmother’s house the next town over. This was all well and good before I got to kindergarten, but when I reached kindergarten, there’s some kind of “residency rule” with a stupid regulation that says “wherever you lay your head 3/5 days of the work week, that’s where you live.” Which is bullshit. So because I stayed at my grandma’s house during the Monday-Friday, and only went “home” on the weekends when my father was either at work or pouting at his parents’ house, I was considered a “resident” of the next town over.

    My mother was not in a situation where she could leave the marriage, because my father’s family was very well-connected and influential and would have likely won out in a custody battle and have taken me to live with them, a bunch of rich drunks with seriously untreated mental health issues that nobody bothered checking in on for them, because of how “important” they supposedly were (mostly due to my grandfather, the enabler). So my mother had to kind of come up with a piecemeal solution for my own safety, just to keep me away from my father and from his family who were pulling all sorts of shady things to break up the marriage but while using me as a pawn.

    My mother wouldn’t have cared if my father walked out if he didn’t try to claim me just to get in good graces with his parents, who despised my mother for untold number of bullshit reasons including she wasn’t of the “right” ethnicity, and were threatening to cut him out of the will if he didn’t “fix things” by cutting her loose and snapping me up in sole custody. The thing that seemed to work best to protect me was just to have me stay over at grandma’s as a sanctuary of sorts. But that, as I said, caused problems with the kindergarten, because other town doesn’t have this idiotic “residency rule” and told my own hometown, where I did actually live and still do, that, no, we’re not paying for this kid to attend our schools, because she doesn’t really “live” here. That’s your responsibility, other town.

    It’s worth noting that my father’s family was well-connected in this district where Maternal Grandma had her house (the town where mom grew up), which added further friction to the greater “custody battle” between the two towns, which don’t get along even to this day largely because of a stupid high school football rivalry that still refuses to die. It’s like Podunk version of Israelis and Palestinians: ooh, you’re from Town 1 and you married someone from Town 2, or you moved to Town 2? Shame on you for betraying the “home team”! We’re talking literally 5 minutes over the town border and people hate you for having a bumper sticker on your car that says you’re a supporter of Town 1’s team rather than Town 2. So that added insult to injury, plus the fact that there were monies involved.

    I was lucky enough that my mother had friends from when she used to be a teacher in, let’s call it Maternal Grandma Town (where Paternal Grandpa got her blackballed out of employment for the rest of her life), who helped design a makeshift “curriculum” of sorts. The problem is, it was up in the air as to which district was supposed to “approve it,” because, again, I wasn’t considered the, if you will, “property” of either town and we couldn’t afford private school (and I couldn’t stay with dad, but mom couldn’t leave either). This went on for a whole decade during which Hometown tried to shift the blame on my mother, hiring some dime-store shrink who never once met her but accused her of having Munchausen’s and wanting to keep me at home to deal with her own “separation anxiety.” They sent police to spy on grandma and follow us in traffic. Even showed up in the parking lot of grandma’s doctor’s office. Used to call up and hang up at 11:00 at night, play ding-dong ditch… all kinds of creepy stalking and intimidation tactics. They even filed a restraining order against both my mother and me barring me from setting foot on the grounds of any school whatsoever in Hometown.

    It wasn’t until Hometown opened up an evening-school program when I was scheduled to be a “freshman” — which served both towns on a sort of regional basis — that I was able to even set foot in a school environment at all. Lucky for me, it was held out-of-district in a neutral location at a commuter college. It was supposed to be for dropouts, but the director who started the program understood the circumstances and let me in. I ended up graduating early and basically fitting four years in two because I excelled academically and wanted to get the hell out of school, period. Socially was another matter. I did meet some nice kids who, oddly enough, belonged to that Juggalo group, but didn’t get to know them well enough because they hardly ever showed up for class. I never really met any kids my own age while growing up because mom had all to do to contend with Hometown, my father, and his family, and none of the neighbors in Maternal Grandma’s neighborhood had any children (or at least none that came to visit). My mother has two sisters but one moved away because she moved up in the world and thought of us as riffraff. The other never married and therefore has no children. So I don’t really have cousins either, and my brother is eight years younger than me (a brief lull in the situation when my poor mother thought dad was “good enough” to become a father of two). So my family environment itself is very isolated from the world. But I digress.

    I finally graduated, but couldn’t attend graduation because I wasn’t allowed in the actual high school building. I didn’t really care anyway. I was just happy to be done. I ended up returning to the same 2-year college and then transferring to a 4-year where I got a pretty good GPA out of it all (3.99, would be a 4.0 if I didn’t get a B in a painful stats course). But if it wasn’t for my mother piecing together a home-school curriculum, I’d probably be in jail. Wasn’t her fault. It was the fault of greedy small-town bureaucrats playing ping pong with an innocent kid caught in an abusive situation, because they had to dick-measure about football bullshit from 40 years ago and other rivalry crap that nobody cares about anymore. And the fault of my (paternal) grandfather throwing his own granddaughter under the bus because his son didn’t marry a bonny Irish lass. Bigoted piece of shit.

    Now if only I could find a job. I’ll never be a social butterfly and effective “networker,” unfortunately. Not to mention that 3.99 (which, considering the circumstances, I worked quadruple-overtime for) was in the dreaded liberal arts. Had it been STEM, I probably would have flunked out. But I’m just glad to have any education at all.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Sorry you went through that growing up. Homeschooling can work with motivated people like you, your grandmother and mother but for a lot of people its a way to avoid “liberal indoctrination” in schools and only teach what babby Jebus would have approved of. It sounds like you really earned everything in your education and that 3.99 gpa is something to be really proud of.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Thanks. Your point about not being able to get a job is well-taken, though. I applied for a few jobs at my university alma mater. Two have already been filled internally. That leaves three openings (five applications in total) that I’m not too optimistic about my prospects about either, if only because internal “hire” ranks “higher” than alumni. I am proud of the GPA, but that glow gets diminished due to the fact that I haven’t been able to do anything with it.

        Oddly enough, I got a thing in the mail a couple years ago saying the restraining order is no longer valid because my high school literally doesn’t exist anymore. They tore down the building and built a brand new one. So I’m no longer barred from entering a building that’s gone, woo-hoo. It’s a “regionalized” school now, that takes in students from an even smaller town that is so small they don’t even have their own high school. And the elementaries are all merged too, with new names and everything, which means I’m no longer “banned” by default from there either! Not that I’d want to walk in and do the John Mayer thing, “run through the halls and scream at the top of my lungs.” (Although I have seen Grosse Pointe Blank an inordinate number of times….) So they’re cramming kids into a bigger school with bigger class sizes to do what? Save money.

        Education in America is really fucked up…

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          My comment about not being able to get a job was more about people who claim to do homeschooling just to not send kids to school or teach them anything. What kind of work are you looking for by the way?

          Yes the educational system is fucked up and is going to keep getting worse because no one wants to pay taxes for things that dont personally benefit themselves.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            What kind of work are you looking for by the way?

            Mostly office jobs, clerical stuff. Nothing where I’d actually “use” my degree per se (I’m not sociable enough or confident at the front of the room to be a teacher myself, and I don’t have the stamina for graduate school anymore). I have a BA in what’s actually called liberal studies. You “concentrate” in one field of the humanities and another from the social sciences. I went with history and sociology, with a smattering of criminal justice and psych courses here and there. The stats course was specifically stats-gathering for the social sciences, complete with its own very expensive graphing program to boot. I’m terrible at math. Term papers were always my thing.

            But the “market” doesn’t want local word people, and even the career center told me in so many words to bugger off because it was a foregone conclusion to them that everyone from the liberal studies department was going onward to grad school. Even the campus career fairs weren’t open (or didn’t advertise to) humanities/social science grads. I actually asked one of the career counselors about this. She said:

            Well, let me be honest: we don’t really know where to place you. We don’t even really know who to contact for recruiters for the liberal arts students when companies come to Career Fair. Business students usually have great success with State Street and TD Bank, then there’s our nursing students who get called in at local hospitals, elder care homes, and of course I’m sure you know how well our STEM grads do. They go on to everything from Boeing to Google. But for the liberal arts majors it’s not so easy, even for us. That’s why we have Grad School Fair. This isn’t the major you want if you’re looking to go directly from a four-year undergrad into the workforce. The stereotype is true. Nobody’s hiring English majors, psych majors, history majors, except Dunkin’ Donuts down the street. Most of them go into teaching, law school or get their M.S.W., PhD. If that’s not your calling, or you don’t feel you can, then I don’t know what to tell you. I suppose you could marry up.

            (!!!!!!!) Great. Just great. Can I still get into Harvard Medical as a research cadaver?

            The government shutdown and the odious tax bill have put a monkey wrench in that too, because it’s a state university and they’re up in the air as regards being able to keep existing employees on the payroll, let alone hire new ones. Which gives me some comfort about the internal-hire, but from a personal perspective I’m still worried because there aren’t a whole lot of secretary jobs that haven’t already been computerized, outsourced to call centers in Bangalore, or hired so-and-so’s relative/spouse/kid/etc. It’s a game of Fibonacci musical chairs, with the number of chairs being pulled up exponentially instead of one-by-one. “Full employment” is a farce. The numbers don’t count the people who’ve given up and/or are never going to find anything because XYZ job and/or company doesn’t exist.

            I’m a proponent of a new CCC/WPA jobs guarantee. But that requires taxes, and we know how Americans react to that dirty word.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            What the fuck kind of response is that? Ugg sorry that response kind of makes me mad. You are up near Boston right? There are a few technical companies in that area hiring for both technical and non technical positions if you would be interested.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Road Island is closer, and more familiar. I cannot drive a car, although I do have a license (I just don’t really have much use for it). But I’d be worse than “Charlie on the MTA” riding the metro. My sole mode of transport is my mother, and she can no longer drive at night. My asshole father is terrible and dangerous on the road. He’s wrecked more cars than a demolition derby driver. So no chance I’ll be riding with him. He works two jobs up that way anyway and often doesn’t come home for a few days at a time due to erratic shifts. Which isn’t helpful on the road either, especially when you’re already a lousy driver. My brother has his own job out of state and as I mentioned before is sick, though he tries to be a tough guy and doesn’t want to admit it.

            So for a lot of reasons I’m just kind of… here. The older my parents get, the more isolated I become. Which is why I applied to work at the university, because it’s 15 miles outside of home and a regular 8-hour morning until early evening shift. My hope was to earn just enough to afford one of the off-campus apartments (as though I was a student) and literally walk to work. Barring that, I keep racking my brain trying to figure out something where I could work from home. But those work-from-home jobs that aren’t scams tend to require that you already put in some time at the office and then telecommute after a few months or a year or so. Makes me mad to know that there are countless assholes making millions of dollars from peddling racist conspiracy theories on Twitter and YouTube.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            You might be able to work from home with the tech companies. I have done it for the past 7 years and only go into the office for training. For a lot of them it depends how far you are from the office and under a certain distance you have to go in.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Also for library jobs, I know there are a few librarians around here. Maybe ask some of them for tips on how to get that job?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      These are the kind of exceptional situations where homeschooling is a necessary alternative.

      Of course, you’re mother and grandparents weren’t anything like the Turpins, so that was a good thing, despite the fact that they didn’t land a TLC series.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Maternal Grandma was the good grandma. Paternal Grandma was the psychotic drunkard who dad wanted to appease. Paternal Grandpa was the well-connected enabler who basically let his own family rot just so he could get his name emblazoned on the high school gym and have a basketball scholarship named after him.

        America places waaaaaaay too much importance on athletics and “team spirit” and not enough on actual education.

        • Marion in Savannah

          America places waaaaaaay too much importance on athletics and “team spirit” and not enough on actual education.

          Now THAT is the absolutely fucking truth.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Beat me to it, though I probably would have indulged myself in far more bolded caps.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I see it this way: yeah, it WAS horrific, and most people prolly wouldn’t have got out alive, but you DID, and it’s made you a strong, intelligent person with insight and knowledge, and the desire for more.
      There’s a job for you somewhere. Maybe you’ll need to make you own. If you did, I think you’d be a success. And if you ever find yourself in charge of a young person yourself some day, you know what NOT to do.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Thanks. At some point I gotta find a way to make it to your side of the 49th even if it’s just for a vacation (if I had a million dollars, I’d buy… a studio apartment in Toronto, lol). Your guy in charge knows the value of education, not just book-smarts but the social/emotional aspects and in particular addressing the needs of kids in exceptional circumstances. Our guy can’t even count to 5 on one of his tiny hands and doesn’t give a shit about ripping families apart or picking on unfortunate kids.

    • Lord Jim

      You came out of it better than I would. I have no words for how you were treated, except: I’m glad to know you.

  • bupkus231

    I don’t believe I know anyone who either was home-schooled or home-schooled ( or planned to home-school ) their children, but I have never been in favor of it. Even with the current newsworthiness of the prevalence of bullying among school children ( public or private ), I’ve pretty much always seen the group schooling experience ( again, public or private ) as essential to a “healthy childhood”…

    That said, I was really turned off the whole idea when I read how Rick Snatorum tried to game the PA school system to get credit for home sc hooling his kids while they loved oin suburban VA ( I mean, the guts a Senator at the time, and it’s not like the school system his kids would have gone to was some “inner-city hellhole” – they lived in Fairfax or Loudon Co. while Snatorum was a Senator – and he kept a phony “legal address” within a suburban Pittsburgh, PA school district in order to take advantage of a provision of PA’s state education regulations allowing his kids to “attend” a PA online school at taxpayer expense:

    Link: https://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/rick-santorums-homeschooling-cost-the-pa-tax-paye

    Sure, most parents who want to home school their kids can’t grift the system like Snatorum did, but since many seem to talk about not wanting their tax dollars to go to the public schools – fuck ’em.

    • suziq

      And you know what else Rick? You can supplement what the real school teaches at home or Sunday bible studies and whatnot. Huh, maybe not so complicated.

      • bupkus231

        Yeah – but not the $100k worth of services they ripped off by playing this game….

    • Yabut, when you misspell it, it does not google as well.

      • bupkus231

        I dunno – everytime I do that, Google asks me “Did you mean Santorum?”

        It gives me a little petty satisfaction ( maybe not as much as Dan Savage’s neologism based on that name ).

  • Fartknocker
    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Very clever.

    • Mystery_Poster

      Fabulous!

    • Marion in Savannah

      That kid for president in 2032.

    • gallbladder

      Nailed it.

    • Me not sure

      It’s in the New Testament. … Look it up!

  • Bungenius

    I went to middle and high school with a kid whose parents pulled him out to ‘homeschool’ him because the district taught evolution, orientation, and abortion. His super-religious parents couldn’t handle it. Doing so didn’t prevent him from being the whiniest bottom in college, though. Some things can’t be helped, I guess. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    • h4rr4r

      If only there were some kind of accredited school that you could privately pay for that could meet your wacky religious needs but still meet minimum educational requirements. Some kind of a private religious school perhaps.

      • suziq

        That is not taxpayer funded please!

        • h4rr4r

          Did I stutter when I typed “privately pay for”?

          • Shan

            Dang, dude.

          • h4rr4r

            I think this failed to convey the humor I was going for.

          • Shan

            Yeah, sounded a bit harsh. Intarwebz loses in translation sometimes.

          • suziq

            My eyes did.

          • h4rr4r

            I was going for funny, sorry if it did not come through.

          • suziq

            You had a valid point, and I wasn’t paying attention. The public paying for rich assholes tossed their kids to private schools is something you shouldn’t have to point out. But it seems to me that the “voucher system” is exactly that and I don’t think Betsy is going to be making anything better for schools.

  • shivaskeeper

    Robyn, I think your last graph is going to be the sticking point. I think for every 100 great homeschooling parents, 98 of them will fight just a vehemently over regulations as the abusers. The thought is going to be expressed as, “I did not and have not done anything wrong, so why should I have to burdened like the ones who have”.

    It’s the nature of most people to get pissed when they have a new rule put on them for something that someone else has done or might do. This is going to be compounded by the RWNJ Jesus home school lobby who will drum up fear, not only with their own people, but non-Jesus homeschoolers. It will be an effective tactic too, because it’s always an effective tactic.

    • It is not a burden to ensure your kids are ok. If any parent says it is a birden they are not great parents at all

      • shivaskeeper

        It’s the same tactic that is used to turn someone who owns a few rifles for hunting into a rabid ammosexual supporter even if they are not one themselves. Have the fear lobby tell them over and over again how that even though they are law abiding now, all these new rules are just going to be put in place to take away their rights,and make them criminals. Tell them how all the new rules will cost them time, money, and more importantly their freedom. How it’s just an excuse for the evil state/federal/local/fill in the blank level government to assert more control over them.

    • Shan

      And yet we all still have to take our shoes off at the airport because that ONE GUY…

      • shivaskeeper

        It’s another quirk of the American mindset. We will put up with any indignity if we feel like it will make us physically safer. We will sign away our rights, freedoms, and convenience, en mass even if it’s stupid.

        It we were not overrun with prides in the country, we would be taking off our underwear because of the other guy also,too.

        • dshwa

          I wish we were overrun with prides. Do you know how hard it is to find a lion to feed a poor oppressed Christian to these days?

          • shivaskeeper

            Find something smaller to feed them too. Wolverines would be a good choice.

          • dshwa

            Rabid Badgers have a sort of charm.

          • shivaskeeper

            Wolverines or Honey Badgers.They would be the only acceptable substitutions.

          • dshwa

            How about Lampreys?

          • shivaskeeper

            Not aggressive enough.

          • dshwa

            Ill tempered Sea Bass?

          • shivaskeeper

            With lasers.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          My mom used to joke that eventually we would show up at the airport in hospital gowns.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            I had a college professor who joked that at some point the TSA is going to install ass scanners that broadcast your Homeland Security colon exam on Jumbotrons all over the airport.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Remember that guy who said those who trade away liberty for security deserve neither? Ben something or other… not the guy with the pyramids, the guy who electrocuted himself flying a kite…

          Nobody cares about him anymore other than the mascot of the money representing the god we trust in.

    • Lord Jim

      Why should I have to stop at a a police roadblock just because a few people drive drunk?

      • shivaskeeper

        Essentially. But think of it as road blocks and courtesy stops have never been used before.

        • Lord Jim

          I think you must mistake me. It was a reductio ad absurdum argument in favor of extensive homeschool regulation.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    David and Louise Turpin are the poor man’s Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar

    If TLC doesn’t sign them up for their own show, then they are missing a chance for another hit show featuring loonies who name all their kids with names that start with J, just like Jesus was named with a J only not a because different alphabet.

    Hey, they could even have an episode when Uncle Jared Fogle (begins with a J!) makes work release and comes to aid in the home schooling.

    • Carole

      The only good thing I can say about them is that nobody died (that we know of).

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    OT: stupid CNN has had a string of Rs and other reich-wingers on, talking about how horrible the Dems are for shutting down the government. ‘Oh, the horrible things they’re doing to the people of this country!’ they wail. Interview lady was almost, ALMOST not having any of it. Haven’t noticed if they’ve actually had any Dems on.

    • The Wanderer

      Probably not.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      They never do, but they will have republicans on as much as possible to talk about how bad Dems are.

      • amrak63

        [wingnut] But of course, CNN and all other non-Fox news networks are biased in favor of the librul Demoncrat party. [/wingnut]

    • DainBramage

      Like the NYT, CNN seems to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        So does Time (for more Koch propaganda) Magazine. On the back page is an interview with Van Jones, where the reporter asked him what Democrats are doing wrong in their engagement with Republicans. Because of course it’s us who are doing it wrong. Van’s response was that Democrats really have become elitists who think Republicans are bigoted and backwards, and that some of the greatest and smartest people he’s ever met who care a lot about this country have been conservative Republicans. So Democrats really need to do some reaching out to Republicans and not fall prey to stereotypes that paint the whole party with a broad brush. Thanks a lot, Van. Is one of those patriotic conservatives named Raymond Shaw, by any chance?

    • Doug Langley

      So where is this “liberal media” I hear so much about?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Been hunting for it for a while now. Perhaps it’s an endangered species.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Extinct.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Uhh well what about…. hmm nope not them. Ok how about…. nope not them either.

        Its gotta be around here somewhere.

        https://media.giphy.com/media/l396Ea5qM20nGwKeA/giphy.gif

    • Grokenstein

      Gotta send in the clowns or the crowds will get restless.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I saw on Twitface that Joy Reid is having a special starting at 6 EST. Her show this morning was really good, so maybe she won’t have too many fuckfaces on.

      • Steely_Fan

        Well, she’s doing her usual excellent job of reporting and talking to mostly smart people about what’s happening but she just had to let that idiot Jen Kerns spout off about how 2017 was the year of the woman because Trump’s white house is just crammed full of them. Utter horseshit run in on her program by Andy Lack or his lackeys (Lack-eys, get it?)

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Press the Meat’s panel tomorrow is two R’s (Tom Cottonhead and Mark Short) and one D (Durbin) to discuss the shutdown. Wanna bet who gets more time?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        ‘We didn’t have a chance to get an opinion from the Democrats…’
        ‘HEY!’

  • Me not sure

    Is there such a thing a hell schooling? There should be!

  • Jonny On Maui

    I’m totally against home schooling with one exception. If the adult doing the teaching has a teaching credential, fine.

    And a one a week visit from the state, just to check the books, so to speak.

    You’re gonna have religious based teachings? Sorry. Doesn’t count as school.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      My mom had a teaching degree (that she never used) and wouldn’t home school us because public schools do a better job and have people who are more of an expert in the subjects then she was.

    • Bungenius

      Both of my parents had Master’s degrees in education yet they insisted we attend public school. In some ways we would’ve been better off homeschooled, but overall the benefits of a public education and social life were incomparable and irreplaceable.

    • shivaskeeper

      You can get a religions based education in a classroom if you pick the right school. The local SBC affiliated bible school, which uses many of the same text books that Dok reviews on here occasionally, is one of them.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        My US and European history teacher in high school covered religions in the different regions because it was an important part of the history of the area. It wasn’t primarily about the religious teachings but it was how it influenced the government and the culture of the area.

        • shivaskeeper

          This is the primary school version of a Bible College. Jesus is always an acceptable answer on the tests sort of place.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            I thought it was 42.

          • shivaskeeper

            Not at Jesus-centric Bible schools. The answer is always Jesus.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I took a ‘Comparative Religions’ class, way back long ago. Learned alot more than was taught in Sunday School.

        There was a time where religious institutions were the only place one could get an education. That time has passed.

        The sooner we are done supporting superstition the better off we’ll be. Just my $0.02…

        • kareemachan

          Comparing religions is fine. Using some of the xtian-based “textbook” publishers is not.

        • shivaskeeper

          The religious schools we have in America are a uniquely White Evangelical thing. It’s a further offshoot of the original charter schools in response to integrated schools and busing. And yes, it’s based originally in white supremacy.

    • malsperanza

      Just wondering how we pay for those once-a-week home visits. Child-abuse prevention agencies can’t even manage the caseloads they currently have. It would be fun to suggest that taxes be raised to pay for supervision of home schooling and then watch the libertarians blow the tops off their skulls.

      • h4rr4r

        The homeschooler would pay for it.

        Public school is always a free option.

        • kareemachan

          Um, public school is NOT free. Taxpayers pay for it, including the families of public school students.

          • h4rr4r

            Wow, without you no one would have ever figured that out. I have to go pay my property taxes now so excuse me.

      • Jonny On Maui

        The homeschoolers pay for it. Part of the cost of homeschooling.

        Or they could use the system already in place, paid for by their taxes.

        Nobody gets to comp their responsibility.

      • kareemachan

        That’s how the ALE near me works: it’s part of the school district, gets funding for the students in it BUT there are strict guidelines in place, including weekly check-ins with the children, usually by Skype or phone, and annual testing. If they bow out of testing, the school district loses that child’s funding. Interestingly enough, the powers-that-be in Olympia seem to be trying to get rid of ALEs. If they do, there goes any oversight on homeschooled kids. But…. politics, I guess.

    • BadKitty904

      “Religious based teachings” are called “church,” not “school”.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
    • arundel

      Here’s what I don’t get: a lot of home-schoolers I read about also tend to have a lot of kids, with varying ages and needs and so on. I have NO IDEA how a mom at home is supposed to be teaching kids from say, 4 to 14 years old at the kitchen table all day in English and math and science and history.. adapting for each kid’s needs and age. And then I suppose cooking dinner, cleaning house, doing the laundry.

      I mean, it’s IMPOSSIBLE. Goddamned NOT POSSIBLE. So why in the hell do so many states act like any human person can do such a thing? Homeschooling is a fraud, except for truly exceptional needs. Keeping kids out of school because you hate the government or anyone who doesn’t share your fervent religiosity is a recipe for a nation of morons. And I seriously thing we’re already there. The Republican hatred of education and public education for decades is paying off at the ballot, half the nation can barely read beyond a 4th grade level, they have no sense of civics, inbred prejudices are ingrained. It’s kind of appalling to think about.

    • SadDemInTex

      I have had several colleagues homeschool their children. The parents all have college degrees and the trend I saw with that was that eventually the kids wanted to go to a regular school. Several families were “religious” and one family are basically new-Hippies. The hippies are the only ones whose kids have so far resisted the siren call of public school….but the homeschool network is very large.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “It’s just not necessary. It’s not a big problem in the state, and there is an avenue if there is a problem with a homeschool family. You report it to the state, and the state can investigate. You’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.”

    Wrong, lady — we have regulations and authorities to enforce them so that we don’t have to keep correcting the same damn problems over and over again. Especially in the case of children being irreparably harmed. You remember children, right? They’re the ones you think are sacred right up until the moment they’re born.

    • shivaskeeper

      This is pretty much what I was saying below. “Why should I have to follow new rules because someone else was bad?’.

      • h4rr4r

        I think that depends on the rule.

        One could argue due to traffic accidents caused by others being bad we are going to set a national speed limit of 15mph.

        • shivaskeeper

          That’s a bullshit argument and you know it.

          We have plenty of traffic rules and laws which leave us a range of options to deal with someone who is bad. Most homeschooling has no rules at all. There is no enforcement mechanism that can used before things get out of had because almost nothing is codified.

          Even with that your answer still sums up my point.

          • h4rr4r

            I think you just agreed with me.
            As you said that’s not the rule we have.

            My point is that not all rules would be acceptable, these are.

          • shivaskeeper

            What rules are acceptable? In 11 states you don;t even have to tell anyone you are homeschooling. In an additional 15 all you have to do is say you are homeschooling. There is no oversight, there are no rules on what you can teach or what is a passing grade.

            So which particular rules are acceptable in those 26 states?

          • h4rr4r

            I would think currently the most restrictive are.

            However the argument that we can make any rule because someone else is bad does not hold water.

          • Marion in Savannah

            However the argument that we can make any rule because someone else is bad does not hold water.

            So are you saying that we can’t make any rules? Because that’s what it’s starting to sound like.

          • shivaskeeper

            And… You completely missed the point. While not answering the question. 26 states have no rules at all. Your argument us to keep that as the status quo. Why?

            There are no rules in place that can be universally used.

          • h4rr4r

            No my argument is not to keep the status quo. We need more rules than even the most restrictive states have.

            My argument is the idea that we can pass any rule in response to someone else being bad is terrible. That’s how we got prohibition.

          • shivaskeeper

            That is not how we got prohibition. The god-bothered had far more to do with that than people being bad.

            Passing laws after someone has done something we collectively think is bad is how laws get passed. Rules are always put in place as a reaction to something else. Then they get refined from there.

          • h4rr4r

            Then we should fix that. Clearly laws should be passed based on our expected outcomes. Obviously we should ban selling untested drugs. We clearly don’t since every headshop sells those synthetic cannabinoid smoking blends.

            We wait for poor outcomes?

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes, we wait for poor outcomes. Because until there are poor outcomes that are out of line with our shared expectations for society there’s no need for a law or rule to be in place or any reason to enforce it.

            After people fuck up enough, there is a need for rules and penalties for not following the rules. That’s how societies work.

            Look at the evolution of drunk driving laws for an example.

            As for the synthetic cannabanoids, I assume you mean Spice? You could get that in any gas station around me when it hit the market. All labeled “Not for human consumption”. There is no need to regulate that as a drug since it wasn’t supposed to be. Just like bath salts. Now did the makers or Spice know people were going to smoke it? Probably. Likely.

          • h4rr4r

            Not planning for edge cases and issues is a shitty idea.

            Society probably should plan better.

            Yes, drunk driving laws prove we should have anticipated the issue.

            There are tons of spice like products. Did they know? That was the point! They mislabeled it to get away with it.
            I can’t sell spoiled hotdogs with a sign saying not for food use on them.

          • shivaskeeper

            You seem to be confusing multiple issues and trying to apply a one size fits all solution to them.

            I can’t think of any law that has been written in advance of a potential problem that might crop up in the future. Unless the law is written specifically and preemptively to take away rights or freedoms.

            I don;t really see how you can plan for potential future law breaking if you don;t know what will be a crime or not until something happens.

            Practically speaking there is no way to plan for what you call edge cases as there is no edge to plan around. Not until enough people do the wrong thing and cause society to say in effect, “This far, and no more. Cross this line and you have broken the law”.

            Should homeschooling have been regulated more from the beginning? Sure. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Wasn’t. Mostly because it was originally pushed as freedom of religion issue in the main part. We still give far much deference to the religious is this country in regard to our laws.

            You are also ignoring my main point that the two sides most likely to fight any new rules are the ones who know they are already breaking what the new rules will likely be and the ones who haven’t broken any rules, even any potential proposed ones, but will have just as much of a meltdown as they will see it as infringing on their rights because someone else fucked up.

          • h4rr4r

            You really think no one could have imagined what home schooling would bring?

          • SayItWithWookies

            There should be a federal standard for child care that covers both homeschools and public and private schools, as well as a federal standard for education. Leaving these up to the states serves the most parochial interests, literally. Kids who get early and regular exposure to varied groups of their peers and adults seem to do a lot better and are a lot safer — Pitcairn Island, the Catholic Church, the FLDS — the isolated places are the ones where children are abused and end up propagating a generations-long culture of abuse.

    • Bad Tom

      See? That’s the deal. These were post born kids.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    OT but I am trolling Dead Breitbart over the shutdown (my profile is private so I wont bring them back here). I just had someone tell me I live in a liberal echo chamber for saying the GOP is responsible for the government shutdown since they control all 3 branches of government and not going along with the New York Times and CNN who say Democrats are responsible for the shutdown. I dont think “liberal echo chamber” means what they think it means.

    • gallbladder

      I don’t think they know what anything means.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        That is true.

    • Beelzebubba

      Those morons aren’t even fun to play with – they’re too stupid and ignorant to know they’re being trolled. Post actual facts and they’ll lose their shit, and the post will be deleted.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I am surprised I haven’t been banned yet, I keep saying Trump owns the shitshow and calling it a Trumpshitdown.

        • Beelzebubba

          It’s a Saturday- maybe the not-so-Breitbarbarians who run the site have the day off.

    • Go with it. Tell em if they think dems are so powerfulnow just wait until november

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I was going to but thought it would be more fun to make fun of Trump’s negotiating skills and how the control the federal government but cant get anything done.

        • Bad Tom

          “Negotiating with jello.”

          • Raan

            He certainly has the shape for it.

    • kareemachan

      I do that once in a while. It’s fun in small doses.

  • Paperless Tiger

    By the time my kids were in high school, their homework made me go cross-eyed. Anyone who thinks they can educate their kids as well as a schoolful of teachers is a nut.

    • h4rr4r

      If a single teacher can’t do it, how would one parent? I assume the other parent/s work.

    • Shan

      I was good at math but couldn’t help my kids because the schools teach it so differently now, even in grade school. It was frustrating and I had to hire tutors to help them.

      • OutOfOrbit

        YOU DOZ GUD MATH?! (well that explains a lot)

    • aktlib101

      Exactly.
      No parent, no matter how well intended or well educated him/herself can school kids on all the topics covered.
      Plus, kids need to interact to their peers, make friends, develop social skills, observe both good and bad habits in themselves as well as others
      Interacting only with adults is not enough

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Thank you! I was trying to express this up thread but you said it better.

    • kareemachan

      I tried to help my kid with her math once when she was in high school. She looked at me pityingly and said, “Mom, we don’t do it like that any more.” VERY crushing.

      OTOH, she vowed to never use math again after high school but discovered genetics. Now have multiple statistics and calculus classes under her belt. I remind her of that once in a while…. ;-)

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Working at the library, we had a lot of experience with homeschoolers. Sometimes we had groups of families who would sign up for our meeting room to have game time and such. But I know at least several of them had teaching credentials and it’s going to be something of s skewed sample anyway, if they’re spending a lot of time at the library.

    Alternately, there was one family…let’s just say they adhered very strictly to biblical gender roles. The mother would bring her sons in, and it always seemed as though the oldest one (all of 12, maybe) was in a higher position of power within their family structure than she was. And as for their social education, well, let’s just say we took bets on how long it would be before our youth librarian would have to have a “conversation” with her whenever we got a new book in the kids section with a queer or religiously diverse character in it.

    • Carole

      Did she want the book removed from the library? My mother complained to a librarian once because the library had a George Carlin book. The librarian smartly told her off.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        I think they were mostly conversations about what was “appropriate” for kids. Our youth librarian, who was the sweetest person on planet earth, would find the politest way possible to say “we’re not forcing your kid to read it but we’re not getting rid of it either, so get over it.”

  • Jamoche

    “You report it to the state”

    Just who does she think is the “you” in that sentence?

    • vivian

      Elf on a shelf?

  • GreenGoldSharpie
    • shivaskeeper

      Everywhere. You start everywhere. Then you nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

      • dshwa

        Meteor 2020!

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Do you have any plutonium?

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Let me sell some Libyans a bomb casing full of pinball machine parts.

        • h4rr4r

          Nope just these pinball machine parts, that doctor ripped me off.

          • “I felt like a punk who’d gone out to buy a switchblade and come home with a small neutron bomb.

            “Screwed again”, I thought. “What good’s a neutron bomb in a streetfight?”


            William Gibson

        • shivaskeeper

          I do not. Sorry.

      • TJ Barke

        Fuckin A…

  • Carole

    I remember the Christian Choate case. The father was a convicted felon and had a record with Child Protective Services, but the guardian ad litem recommended that he get custody because the sister accused the mother’s boyfriend of abuse. CPS dropped the ball on the kids when the dad started “home schooling” them. Then after Christian died, the GAL tried to prevent his records from being disclosed. Something really didn’t add up in that case.

  • Most Stable Land Shark

    Is it just me or does the wife have the One “L” Michele crazy eyes thing going on?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      You mean the fanatic stare?And do they look like they are related to you? They do to me.

  • mailman27

    Pretty sure it’s not just me, but wasn’t a big part of school meeting and hanging out with the opposite sex? Like, socializing? If I’d have been home schooled, they only girl in school would’ve been my sister. And she’s like seven years older than me!

    • Beelzebubba

      That explains a lot, actually.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Yep. Homeschooled kids can be so gullible. “Yes, I want a Hertz donut…Why are you hitting me?”

      • Raan

        I don’t see what’s so bad about a donut that refreshes itself several times a second. /s

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      That carries with it the risk of bullying. I wish there was such a thing as the Professor Xavier’s school where the outcasts could actually have their safe space. Or an accredited MOOC for hikikomori who will never fit in.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • Bub the very stable zombie

    They should be able to come up with some kind of charge for that guy for his ugly goddamn haircut.

    • gallbladder

      “Prince Harming.”

      • Marion in Savannah

        [golf claps]

    • Master Contrail Program

      Prince Valium went to shit after Princess Vespa ran off with Lonestar.

    • nightmoth

      It’s a pioneer classic: the bowl-on-head cut.

  • cheetojeebus

    o/t So my sanctimonious House Rep P. Meehan used fucking public money to settle a sexual harassment claim. NYT among other sources. This should make replacing his ass a lot easier.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Your lips, God’s ear, etc., etc., etc.

      • cheetojeebus

        Hillary won this district by a 2%. However it is considered one of the most gerrymandered districts in the country.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    If I were Leopold Mozart (which I am not) and if I had a son like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (which I don’t), I would probably want to homeschool him.

    Of course, in those days, only the rich and the aristocrats got much of an education at all. You learned your father’s trade (if a boy) or found a husband quick (if you were a girl.) You were locked in for life.

    If Leopold had been a baker, Wolfie would have baked the most delicious bread in all of history and would be utterly forgotten today.

    So that worked sometimes. It works in other, exceptional circumstances.

    Setting the likes of the Turpins loose without any oversight is just crazy.

    Aside: Before there even was such a thing as pre-school, I was homepre-schooled. My mother taught me and my siblings to read from an old and frankly pretty dreadful old reader she had saved. But it worked.

    We honed our skills on a similarly idiotic book that my father had kept.

    And again, it worked.

    These two dumb books worked so well for the basic training that when we started to read really interesting, well-written books, we were avid to continue.

    So by the time we reached kindergarten, we could read anything we wanted to and proceeded to do so. And we haven’t stopped yet.

    No more intervention was necessary and none was taken.

    • Carole

      My cool, smart older sister taught me to read. My mother couldn’t be bothered.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Hats off to your cool, smart older sister.

      • wait! what?

        My parents taught me to read before I entered kindergarten. We lived in Las Vegas in the early 70s and the schooling there was abysmal. My dad had my older sisters read a page out loud everyday from classic literature to repair the damage.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Damn, I forgot that part.

          Every night before we could read, Mom (or if she was sick, Dad) would read a chapter from, say, “Black Beauty” or “Treasure Island.”

          Our sister got “Little Women,” though not the death of Beth.

          So we knew the ultimate aim.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I learned from my sister as well. Everyone in my house was always reading something, so I wanted to learn too. So she taught me how. I was four years old at the time. I had a hard time understanding why the other kids in Kindergarten could not read too.

    • Bad Tom

      We don’t hear much about Leopold Mozart, but he was a well noted musician in his own right, who wrote a famous book on violin practice and theory. He was an ideal private tutor for his son, but perhaps too exploitative a parent.

    • Arolpin

      When I was young both of my parents were teachers, and my mom knew that the kindergarten teacher was a moron, so they kept me with my normal sitter, and since I was reading at 4, they just helped me with my writing. I asked to be homeschooled in 3rd or 4th grade, but my parents were both going to grad school full time and explained that they wouldn’t have time to study and teach me, so I was stuck going to school. (I’m still not sure why I wanted to be homeschooled, since my teachers were fine letting me work at my own pace, and one I completed a textbook, they would let me move on to the next year’s book. They finally got smart by the time I was in 3rd grade and made me learn Base5, Base12, binary, octal, and hex. That kept me busy for a month or so.)

  • As soon as I heard on the radio that there were thirteen children, I thought, “These monsters have got to be Quiverfull creeps.”

  • Carole

    I filed a complaint against this homeschooling “doctor” https://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php/James_Patrick_Johnston,_D.O. and his wife because they had a blog that advocated child abuse and deliberately hiding children from Child Protective Services. Also, the “doctor” advocated carrying tubal pregnancies until they ruptured because “pro life” and recommended prayer as a means of treating mental illness. (He also wrote a completely crazy novel about evangelical Christians taking over the U.S. government, but I digress). The Ohio Department of Profession Regulation couldn’t do anything about it because I wasn’t a patient.

    • h4rr4r

      I hate to be that guy, but you accidentally said pro-life when you meant pro-death.

      • Carole

        Yup.

      • dshwa

        Opposing terminating a tubal pregnancy should be grounds to have your medical licence taken away.

        • h4rr4r

          I feel like instead we should “Part Dok would banhammer me for” and I don’t mean with votes.

          • dshwa

            There are times when malpractice suit into oblivion just isn’t enough. This is one of those times.

        • Carole

          That’s what I thought. But he is still practicing in Ohio.

          • dshwa

            It’s actually really hard to get any state board to move against a physician and terminate their licence. But this should have cleared even that high a bar.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Ain’t that the truth. A doc I worked for over 40 years ago was one of the very, very, very, VERY few docs who would actually appear in court as an expert witness for the prosecution in malpractice cases. One of the reasons I loved working for him.

          • dshwa

            Yeah, docs tend to circle the wagon for other docs. So do a lot of other professions. Human nature.

        • Shan

          It’s how they do it in Catholic hospitals. They remove the part of the Fallopian tube containing the embryo and let it die “naturally” instead. Never mind that it damages future fertility.

          • dshwa

            That’s still terminating the pregnancy though with little risk to the life of the mother. I think that if you don’t catch it early enough, that’s the only way to do it. If you did catch it early, it’s a stupid way, but it doesn’t put the mother at nearly the risk letting it rupture does.

          • Shan

            True, it’s a safer method than a ruptured tube. But they *technically* don’t consider it an abortion because they’re not acting “directly” on the embryo. It’s some sort of Catholic mumbo-jumbo that I don’t really understand.

    • phoenix00

      That novel? Ain’t so crazy today.

      • Carole

        He thought The Handmaid’s Tale was a really good idea.

        • h4rr4r

          I feel like he might have misunderstood the message of the book.

          • Marion in Savannah

            No, he just thought it was a manual not a dystopian novel.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            It’s only marketed as a dystopian novel in Canada. An updated version is reportedly on the shelves at the Library of Parliament, where it’s cross-listed under the political science category with the title, “The Art of Dealing With Shithole Countries: U.S. Edition.” Trudeau has a copy with the words “WTF GOP it’s 2018” written all over the margins.

      • Carole

        He was ahead of his time. http://sbpra.com/patrickjohnston/

        • phoenix00

          Oh good lord that synopsis is painful to read. Also how we get Dominionists like Mike Pence.

    • amrak63

      The page contains no information now, but it did say he was a “D.O.”–doesn’t that mean “Doctor of Optometry”? If yes, what in the unholy name of Cthulhu does he know about obstetrics and gynecology, or, for that matter, child psychology?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine

      • Jamoche

        Doctor of Osteopathy. Exactly how much of that is quackery is up to debate.

        • Marion in Savannah

          It ain’t quackery. FWIW, it’s harder to get accepted to a DO program than an MD program. And also too and in addition FWIW it’s harder to get into veterinarian school than medical school.

  • dshwa

    I’m not completely opposed to home schooling per se. But it needs to be way more regulated than it currently is, and a metric of the child’s progress has to be taken.

    • kareemachan

      There are definitely some good reasons for homeschooling. Health problems, behavioral problems, location, available schools can all warp a child’s education.

      But FUCKING YES they need to be regulated.

  • Lordpnut

    I graduated from public high school (Utah, 1985) after passing four AP tests and getting a solid foundation in sex, drugs, rock-n-roll. I drove a ’69 Dodge Charger with a punched-out 440 that would quarter-mile in twelve seconds flat.
    What’s my point?
    I forget…

    • amrak63

      You’re disappointed that Broooooce didn’t write a song about your teenage years?

      • Phried Ω

        I thought all of the Boss’s songs were about teenage years.

        • amrak63

          Hardly.

      • Lordpnut

        Like shiva’skeeper said, my growth was stunted by our losing public education system. Sad.

    • msanthropesmr

      Watch the leather, man.

    • shivaskeeper

      You could have gone faster. Failed public school education probably hampered you.

    • Crank Tango
  • Marion in Savannah
    • Kryptonian Canis

      Did he say he was sorry if people were offended, but that’s not who he really is?

      • Marion in Savannah

        “There are certain comments that I made that are inexcusable,” Mr. Higbie said in a phone interview on Saturday, adding that many of them stemmed from “my own ignorance.”

        So I guess all is forgiven if you admit you’re a moran? Who knew…

        • Kryptonian Canis

          Good gawd, I’m reading through it all, and he’s a conflicted mess. Aww shucks, and he was such a highly-qualified individual for that particular appointment too.

        • kareemachan

          But… but… but… jeebus forgave him, right?

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          At least it wasn’t a helping of that ‘mistakes were made’ passive-sense shit.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Didnt he learn from Bannon that apologizing means you are a week beta cuck? You need to double down on it then call it fake news when someone calls you out on your bullshit if you want a job in the wing nut welfare circuit.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      “I’m sorry if you were offended”.

  • nightmoth

    My home in North Carolina is surrounded by homeschooling members of the Independent Fundamental Baptist sect. They feed their kids, they don’t beat their kids, but they fuck with their heads, which IMO is still abuse.

    • dshwa

      There was a time when not learning important things wasn’t a barrier to a middle class job. Now it is.
      That, and what I assume are the social reasons behind that sect’s decision (no gays, no sex ed, etc.) are going to leave those kids woefully unprepared for life when they’re adults.

      • nightmoth

        It gets worse. The parents have no intention of letting them work at anything other than menial jobs (Chick Fillet is a favorite) because they’re all in the pipeline to go to IFB “colleges” and become an evangelist, a pastor, or a choir director in an IFB church. The girls, of course, become nothing but housewives and breeders.

        • dshwa

          That won’t last forever. There’s only so many churches needed for a given number of followers. And they’ll lose enough members as time goes on that there won’t be enough jobs to go around. Even if they breed like Duggars.

          • nightmoth

            From your mouth to Goddess’s ear, I hope.

          • dshwa

            If all they qualify for is minimum wage jobs (the menial ones are disappearing at a pretty quick rate) they’ll need us godless liberals to pass GMI or hike up the minimum wage in order to keep their churches open. Irony.

          • nightmoth

            Gaaah! Here’s more irony. They already avail themselves of the local food bank which is sustained by the godless liberal churches in the area.

          • Marion in Savannah

            But. Of. Course.

          • dshwa

            Hell, I don’t even go to church but I give to the local food bank all the time. Suckers!

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            GMI/UBI and a jobs guarantee plz also too. I can’t stand being unemployed as it is. Bring back the WPA and CCC. There are things to be done… there’s just more people than “jobs” because the current “market” is a musical-chairs model where the private sector giveth and the private sector giveth away.

          • kareemachan

            Or Cthulhu’s. He’s not so…. forgiving.

        • Carole

          Some homeschooling/homebirthing parents never get birth certificates for their kids. Then the kids are screwed when it’s time to get out of the house. https://www.snopes.com/info/news/helpmeproveit.asp

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        They want to go back to that time which is why they voted for Trump. Education is scary.

        • dshwa

          It’s a nice theory, but they’re fucked. We need programmers and engineers now for those factory jobs, not a strong back and a set of hands. We have ever improving robots for the manual stuff.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Right, there are programs that used to teach people how to do newer jobs we need instead of old dying jobs but they are gutting those programs. Like this from the daily show.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jy9lR-K4-Pc

          • dshwa

            IIRC, Hillary’s campaign was all about improving and expanding these programs….

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Yep, but somehow it got turned into she wants to kill coal jobs.

            The page is still up.
            https://www.hillaryclinton.com/issues/workforce-and-skills/

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Hillary’s website will probably be up forever. Dole/Kemp ’96 is.

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    Parents are horror shows…sometimes. A certain percentage of parents are absolute horror shows. Children are destroyed as a result. I don’t think that it is asking too much from our society to do an absolute minimum to protect these innocent kids. How’s about at least a state mandated fucking check-up. Have some other human person lay eyes on the child to at least make sure they aren’t being starved to fucking death.

    They want the babbies born, but fuck ’em once they are.

    • kareemachan

      Bootstraps, entitlement, don’t deserve healthcare, lobster on foodstamps, etc.

      Bizarro-world to repugs.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    How do couples like this even find each other?

    “Likes walks in the rain, chicken fried steaks and running my own concentration camp.”

    • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

      church

      • Bad Tom

        “I know! Let’s make our own church!
        “[swoon]”

        • therblig

          that was my favorite mickey rooney/judy garland film

      • AdmNaismith

        These 2 are ‘Quiverful’-types- christianists trying to outbreed Muslims and such. The Duggars are Quiverful followers. No one has 13 childrdn without a really stupid, twisted, awful reason.

    • Resistor Radio

      Waffle House, usually.

      • Marion in Savannah

        What do you have against waffles?

        • Resistor Radio

          I LOVE waffles. Love them. Waffle House? Terrifying.
          Edit: (This from my time living in arkansas)

          • Marion in Savannah

            Wouldn’t know — never been there. Now I have a reason to never go!

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I always figured they could just sense each other, sort of like how Immortals would do that before trying to lop each other’s heads off.

    • Nockular cavity

      This is about the piña colada song again, isn’t it?

  • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo
  • Phried Ω

    I propose a policy change at Wonkette that open thread articles not be ones reminding us of just how horrible average people can be.

    • h4rr4r

      Yeah, can’t we stick to them being about how horrible politicians are?

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      The problem is there are so many horrible people doing horrible things.

    • dshwa

      We haven’t had a nice time article in a while, have we?

      • What is “nice time”?

        • phoenix00

          There’s always Lula and DR.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            And JT.

          • phoenix00

            How can I forget?

        • Resistor Radio

          Fiona. Fiona is nicetime. Edit: and TIL that Cincinnati considers her their own Lil’ Sebastian, and now I’m dead.

        • RMKH

          My Nice Time is about to include syrah.

      • phoenix00
        • dshwa

          Pope Frank fucking rocks.

          • jaspersdad

            “Pope Francis has accused victims of Chile’s most notorious paedophile of slander, in an astonishing end to a visit meant to help heal the wounds of a sex abuse scandal that has cost the Catholic church its credibility in the country.”

            https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jan/19/pope-francis-victims-church-sexual-abuse-slander-chile

          • dshwa

            Dammit Pope Frank. Stop channeling Nazi pope about the abuse scandal.

          • jaspersdad

            Yeah, it was kind of shock to me too. Like, what the fuck?

          • dshwa

            To be fair, I don’t know the whole story of the bishop, so I don’t know if it’s “He should have known” or if it’s “Here are all of us who told him they were being abused”. If it’s the latter then this is very bad by the pope.

          • amrak63
          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, he is a scientist, he cares about climate change and the homeless. I think he actually read and comprehends that book they all scream about, but never read.

          • amrak63

            Most of the time, but please see below.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          The right is criticizing the Pope for that. I mean who does he think he is anyway, the Pope?

          http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-pope-francis-airborne-wedding-20180119-story.html

          • phoenix00

            Oh my so many clutched pearls!!

            “Does he ask them to reflect seriously on their commitment? Nope,” Lawler wrote at Catholic Culture. “Does he question them about their years of cohabitation? Evidently not. Does he hear their confessions? Not likely. Plan a dignified ceremony? Not at all.”

            The biggest problem with Catholic Conservatism is Marriage has never been, is not, and will never be as pure and idealistic as they think it is or as they want it to be. Despite a 53% divorce rate amongst /Catholics/.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            I just like how they are telling the Pope how to do his job. I thought the Pope was the top guy who gets to talk to God all the time?

          • SayItWithWookies

            Pope’s Attempt to Put Human Face on Church Roundly Condemned by Child-Beaters, Mel Gibson Fans

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Francis is bigly outski in my book after comments he made about a pervert priest in Chile.

            http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-42745170

            Fucking hell, Frank. The Catholic Church molestation scandal was the original #metoo and this is how you respond? By calling the victims liars?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        We did earlier today, the women’s march article or the LA times union article from last night.

    • weighmaster

      I can’t find the open thread announcement, I’ve been checking back every few minutes hoping to find something less infuriating. Oh well…

      • Phried Ω

        That’s what I mean. I don’t want to come back to The Monsters article for the next 18 hours to see my friends.

        • weighmaster

          Agreed

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Can we make the woman’s march article the open thread?

  • calliecallie

    This story just breaks my heart. I was wondering when it would come up on wonkette. Thanks for doing such good research on homeschooling laws, Robyn.

    I hope those Turpin kids can overcome this tragedy and find a way to make good lives for themselves. And I hope their parents rot in jail until they die.

  • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

    exception: i was homeschooled for a while because i was being bullied and the school wouldn’t help me.

    • gallbladder

      Makes a point.

      • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

        nah, they didn’t care. homeschooling was just a stopgap solution until we found another place to live.

  • Bad Tom

    I am grateful to see that my resident state of Massachusetts requires the highest level of oversight for homeschooling.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    This is going to go over well with the right. But who gets to email the Trump family?

    https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2018/01/twitter-begins-emailing-the-677775-americans-who-took-russian-election-bait/

    On Friday, Twitter took an end-of-the-week opportunity to dump some better-late-than-never news onto its userbase. For anybody who followed or engaged with a Twitter account that faked like an American during the 2016 election season but was actually linked to a major Russian propaganda campaign, you’re about to get an email.

    Twitter announced that it would contact a massive number of users with that news: 677,775 users to be exact. This count includes those who interacted with the 3,814 accounts that Twitter has directly linked to the Internet Research Agency (IRA), the Russian troll farm whose election-related meddling was exposed in 2017.

    That number of accounts, Twitter noted, is a jump from Twitter’s prior count of 2,812 IRA-linked trolls, which it had disclosed as part of an October 2017 hearing in Congress. Twitter says that this specific pool of troll accounts generated 175,993 posts during the 2016 period of activity that Twitter has been analyzing, and the service noted that 8.4 percent of those posts were “election-related.” In its Friday disclosure, Twitter did not take the opportunity to acknowledge how the remaining percentage of these posts, which included anything from “I’m a real person” idle banter to indirect and divisive messaging, may have ultimately contributed to the troll farm’s impact. (For example: Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey bit, and bit hard, on a known IRA account by retweeting two of its 2016 posts.)

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Jackass needs to step down or be forced out. Either that or the feds need to raid and shut down Twitter like a common Pirate Bay. We face far less a threat from Swedish bootleggers than Russian psy-op manipulators and homegrown racists.

  • kareemachan

    It sounds like Bronwyn went to an ALE (alternative learning experience) program. NOT the same as homeschooling and a helluva lot better. We have one where I live, it’s part of the school district, and therefore *has* to be regulated to received funding. Some of the families try to treat it as homeschooling where they can do and teach whatever they want to, but it doesn’t work that way to their dismay. Some work the system for the funding, unfortunately, but they still have to jump through the hoops. It’s not perfect but a situation like this never would have happened. Well, 99% sure, anyway.

    I admire California in many ways, but it seems like the crazy comes out more readily there than in other places. Anti-vaxxers, lax homeschooling oversight, etc. Why do some Californians hate their children?

    • Marion in Savannah

      A priest I used to know, who moved to LA when he was called as a rector for a church there, used to say that the United States was tilted to the left and all of the loose, unconnected bits fell into California.

      • kareemachan

        That would explain a lot….

      • Resistor Radio

        I hate to imagine the homeschool horrors that probably occur in Alaska.

    • Phried Ω

      It might have much to do with being the most populace state. Room for more crazies than elsewhere and also attract less attention.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Why am I not surprised to see my old home, Oklahoma, as a state with the least amount of oversight.

    • Phried Ω

      I’m forever amazed at how many great people came from Oklahoma. Will Rogers, Sarah Vowell, Woody Guthrie. Most left and never went back.

      • Resistor Radio

        Isn’t our ‘Trix also from them parts originally?

        • Phried Ω

          Zactly.

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Love me some Sarah Vowell and also ‘trix.

      • akryan

        “Came from” is the important phrase there. there’s a reason they leave.

  • CeeQ

    You’d think parents would be more than happy to show that they are not abusing or neglecting their kids and covering it up with “homeschooling” rights. But then again, I think for some parents, homeschooling is a way to control their kids more than anything else.

    • dshwa

      For many of the religious types that do it it is. It’s about making sure those kids don’t “get any ideas” the parents don’t approve of.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I think of the years of education that the multiple teachers that I have had in school how can one parent duplicate that experience?

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        Right? Most of my teachers from 13 onwards were postgrads from fancy places and trained properly, with a lot of oversight. The idea that some clown could replicate that in a home environment beggars belief.

        • kareemachan

          I heard (so, anecdotal) a homeschooling parent insisted on reading nothing but adult self-help books to her two young children with learning issues.

          Really?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Some inspired me more than others, but I wanted to do my best either to impress them, validate them or just prove to them I understood the lessons. If I thought they didn’t understand the material I would have had no respect for them.

      • kareemachan

        Or the socialization. We need to be able to get along with each other, right?

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          What about bullying though? In a just world, the bullies would be the ones removed from public school and taught a lesson or two. Instead it’s usually the one who gets bullied who either has to transfer someplace else or just quit.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Socialization is very important as well.

    • bupkus231

      ding, ding, ding, ding…. We haf un vinna!!!!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    We’re left with this topic for an open thread? Jesus, Buddha and Jimmy Carter.

    Second cold of the winter! What the fuck? I hardly ever get ‘em. Honk.

    • Phried Ω

      My complaint below:

    • Resistor Radio

      If your harfl lasts more than four hours, consult a doctor. :P

      • Phried Ω

        I think I’ll start randomly using the word harfly in daily conversation. Much better than covfefe which is weak, sad.

    • Resistor Radio

      Aw, I was only gently poking, I love the good new words typos create!

    • Lefty Wright

      Maybe you had the rockin’ pneumonia earlier, now you got the boogie woogie flu. They usually come as a pair.

  • Resistor Radio

    Nicetimes: Cincinnati considers Fiona their own, real-life, Lil’ Sebastian.
    http://www.dailyedge.ie/fiona-the-hippo-3420984-Jun2017/

  • gene108

    Who is going to pay for all this “oversight”? Things aren’t free, you know…or maybe you liberals do not know it.…🤔

    Was going to go all Poe’s Law…but I couldn’t work up the snark…

    We are being tyranny-ized by a bunch of conservative fanatics.

    • h4rr4r

      That’s easy to deal with. Homeschooling families would pay for those costs. Public education is still free.

      • bupkus231

        Hell – most of those “homeschooling families” want refunds for the school taxes they pay – THEN want their kids to be able to participate in public school extracurricular activities and sports.

        If they had to pay more to remove their kids from the public schools, they would send them to private schools.

        • h4rr4r

          Wish in one hand

  • Jamoche
    • Marion in Savannah

      Saw this. Do watch if you didn’t.

  • I get so fucking angry about this. I use to be a teacher at an alt-ed high school. Everything we did was examined under a microscope…as it should have been for any institution that deals with children. During my short time there, 4 students came to the staff to talk about about shenanigans occurring at home, and we were able to get them help.

    These poor kids never got a chance because the state couldn’t be bothered to provide even the smallest level of scrutiny that public schools had to undergo.

    And…and! What the fuck is the malfunction with these states that won’t even do a background check of the “teachers”? Seriously…who thinks a sexual predator is a good choice for a teacher?

    • gene108

      A lot of the lax home schooling laws were pushed in the 1980’s, when the Religious Right started getting organized and pushing their agenda on state legislatures.

      They were intense, focused, and organized and caught people by surprise.

      Who would be opposed to measures to better curb child abuse? And all of a sudden state legislators are being bombarded by angry constituents, who want to kill the anti-child abuse laws.

    • akryan

      yeah, no shit. teachers are constantly vilified and being called incompetent, but there are absolutely no checks on the homeschooling system. my feral cousin’s feral friend was homeschooled. His education consisted of sitting in his basement clicking through “pay and pass” online courses and then playing Warcraft all day and night.

  • tehbaddr

    “I can see your dirty pillows!”

    • Shan

      Isn’t that from Carrie?

      • Raan

        Austin Powers.

        • wavicles

          Carrie

        • data_ninja

          Practically the same movie, easy mistake.

      • Resistor Radio

        Yes.

      • Kateaux

        I thought it was from Venture Bros. Hm. Maybe they borrowed it from Carrie.

    • Resistor Radio

      Fine, I’ll cover up.

      • tehbaddr

        Oh! By all means don’t do so on my behalf! :^}

  • aktlib101
    • bupkus231

      I tell you what – anyone who once described John Kelly as even potentially being “the adult in the room” needs to be severely chastised for being just so wrong about this nativist asshole.

      U’m thinking that John Kelly is a thousand times worse than Reince Priebus. Priebus was just ineffective – Kelly is not only effective, he’s a raving hate monger. WH Chief of Staff is not a position that sets policy.

      • Lord Jim

        I said the same thing last night. When did WH Chief of Staff become a policymaking job? Oh, wait. When the electoral college elected a dumbshit who’s too mercurial to even have his own policy positions.

  • Jamoche

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jan/19/buy-a-flat-meet-trump-jr-offer-criticised-as-ethics-atrocity?CMP=share_btn_tw

    ‘Buy a flat, meet Trump Jr’ offer criticised as ‘ethics atrocity’

    Trump Towers project in India lures investors with chance of meeting US president’s son

    And how much do you have to pay to not have to meet him?

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Remind me who control congress Scott? Who turned down the military funding bill?

      • msanthropesmr

        It rhymes with Derpublican

    • Phried Ω

      Scott Baio gave me pink eye.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Anal probe libelz!

        • Shan

          That escalated quickly.

      • SisterArtemis

        He turned me into a newt.

        • Marion in Savannah

          But you got better, right?

    • Lefty Wright

      Scott Baio using the word logic. Now that’s a hoot.

    • Marion in Savannah

      So. “Liberal logic” equals facts. Nice to know, asshole.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Seems pretty self-evident on the face of it.

    • suziq

      I believe the military will still be paid, they consider it essential. Can’t believe I am saying this but I might agree with Chachi that we shouldn’t pay congress though.

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Can’t withhold Congress’s pay without legislation to that effect.

        • bupkus231

          Oh, fine. The foxes get to say who funds the henhouse…. no, wait, that ain’t right…. The rats get to say who gets the cheese… um, ni that ain’t it, either.

          Oh, fuck it. I guess I should just go back to drinking heavily….

      • h4rr4r

        Congress is not doing what job? Have they gone home?

        As far as I can tell they are still trying to work through this.

        • suziq

          I think some Dems are working very hard, most Rs aren’t doing much but blocking progress. Of course you can’t not pay them but it is frustrating when they obstruct more than try to accomplish anything. Although it sounds like if someone got Kelly and creepy Stephen Miller out of the way a deal could be made. And neither one of them are in congress.

      • Empress of the Iguana People

        No, essential employees won’t get paid until the shutdown is lifted and congress says to give back pay

        • suziq

          I was just talking to someone whose husband works for the Coast Guard and she said he got paid and didn’t have to go to work. Not delayed. Could be different for different areas, or could be she has been drinking and doesn’t know what she is talking about. (probably the latter)

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Someone on twitter could maybe shove this in Baio’s pie hole.
      https://twitter.com/SenateDems/status/954761305424105472

      • gallbladder

        This needs constant repetition on every fucking network until the shutdown ends…and thereafter.

  • msanthropesmr
    • JAFischer

      You’re commenting under the wrong article.

  • JAFischer

    The system needs oversight because of the asshats abusing it. Simple concept.

    • TootsStansbury

      It’s crazy, almost like there were things that happened that caused the need for regulations to arise.

  • One of my kids texted this to me.
    (She went to public school and is attending a public college…)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3146c5a2af6f1e32896c7047e646805512ffdbeaf53142d726a8c9cb621d5ed1.jpg

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      You just know they’ll stick me with some Nickelback fan, and then I’ll get released for performing a service.

      • Phried Ω

        Oxymoron.

      • Shan

        I still get confused when I see these references to Nickelback and how much so many people hate them. I don’t know who they are and keep mixing the name up with Nickel Creek, whom I love and saw in concert on their farewell tour.

        • eka

          up on nickel creek, she sends me …

          wait, that’s not right.

          I’m lost.

          • An Outhouse for the résistance

            You’re close. If you like the Band you’ll like Nickel Creek

        • msanthropesmr

          Oh, you know who they are, you just shut your mind off when you hear the name to protect yourself.

        • gene108

          Nickelback is like disco. Very popular, but also loathed by many.

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

            Nickelback is like The Big Bang Theory TV show.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Where do you end up if you like multiple genres? I have everything from ’50s doo-wop, to Vietnam-era psychedelic rock, to video game soundtracks and TV/movie theme music on my iPod. Including kids’ cartoons. They’ll have a hard time categorizing someone who, if you sorted my collection by artist, would see the list go from Allman Brothers Band to Alvin & The Chipmunks.

      • Lordpnut

        Ted Nugent?

        • Lord Jim

          Solitary confinement.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          No Nooge the Stooge, thankfully.

          Metallica, though. Napster’s (least) favorite artist…

          • Lordpnut

            I know I’ll be vilified for this, but…
            “Dog Eat Dog” is a good song.
            Ok. I said it. And I’ll gladly meet anyone with chain or nosh or britva.

      • bupkus231

        You only have “A”s????

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Great research Robyn,
    Thank you.
    Now, maybe another column exposing the religious angle of this case.

    • Shan

      I read one a while back that it’s part of the Dominionist pipeline. Homeschool the kids, send them to religious colleges, and train them up to legislative/lobbying power so they can inflict their fundagelicalism on the rest of the world.

      That’s for the eel off ones, though. The rest are just more cannon fodder and slave labor like everyone else.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Problem is, they all breed en masse. And didn’t Ryan say something to the effect that it’s Americans’ civic responsibility to propagate or something like that?

        • Shan

          Just tne whites.

  • canes_pugnaces

    I am thinking that this could be a DeVos approved school:

    Christian – check
    Home schooled – check
    No science – check
    No resources – check
    Abusive – check

    Sounds like DeVos to me.

    • Vel Venturi

      It’s God’s kingdom, so it’s got her seal of approval!

  • CATMAN

    It seems every time one of these horrible child abuse stories comes out the parents are some fundie Christians who use the Bible to justify torturing their offspring

  • msanthropesmr

    Is this our open thread? I think this is our open thread.
    It seem like our open thread.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Despite claims of homeschool “mixers” and “parties” that claim to help them relate to people outside their families, I have never, ever, met a homeschooler who wasn’t caught completely off-guard or made anxious by even the most routine social interactions as an adult. I tried hiring a few as department store sales associates. They were rigid literalists who saw things in black and white. They overreacted, were easily frustrated, and didn’t know how to interact with non-white, non-christian, customers. They didn’t last long. I blame their parents for fucking these poor kids into maladjusted adults.

    • Shan

      My next door neighbors are like that. I don’t know what their religious stripe is (maybe SDA considering their weekend hours?) but all three daughters were home schooled and NEVER came out to play with the rest of the neighborhood kids. I sometimes see the mom, who wears a snood (not kidding) and full glamour cat-eye makeup all the time. If the dad is there, she doesn’t speak.

      • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

        i feel like this is the Real America the NYT needs to go talk to.

        • Shan

          They came out to a block party once and the only thing I can remember was one of the girls (who seemed excited to be OUT) saying something about her and her sisters being friendly “but Dad says we’re sometimes TOO friendly hahaha!”

          Creeped me out.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Extra points for the word “snood”. That’s the Scrabble word of the day!

        • Shan

          Well, that’s what it is! Anyone who’s read books about or watched movies about tne Civil War or WW2 should know!

          • Lord Jim

            *Twiddles thumbs* *Stares at floor*

          • Shan

            I think I learned it reading Little Women. Prett sure.

          • SayItWithWookies

            Ha — I had to look it up. The word looks like it might be related to thneed — but nope.

          • Lord Jim

            LORAX 2020: SOMETHING SOMETHING!

            :P

          • bupkus231

            I think I learned it from a Robert Heinlein novel ( “Time Enough for Love”? ) when I was in my teens.

          • Fire and Fury Demme

            We used to have one for my English Cocker,
            Slipped over his head (like a cone) to keep his ears out of the food.
            (I’d show a pic of one, but discus won’t let me.)

    • akryan

      i actually coached a kid who was homeschooled who was pretty well-adjusted. His mom isn’t any fundie and she basically let him do all the things that any other kid would do outside of school. I think the fact that his mother allowed him to participate in extra-curricular activities, go to dances, and hang out with friends like any other kid, helped a lot.

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        A friend of mine homeschools: Montessori. I asked him about exactly this angle, the socialization. He makes a point of getting the kids to do outside of “school” activities.

        Then again, he and his wife are quite smart, so it’ll probably work out.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Okay, I get it. But really, CNN? REALLY?!?

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/954854835257561089

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      They should thank McConnell for that.

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      Well, that there’s a sad, sad story. Meanwhile gov’t employees are wondering if/when/how they should apply for WIC and unemployment.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        You know this country is fucked when employees of social service agencies become clients of the very agencies they work for. And then it all ends up becoming a moot point because those agencies get defunded and cease to exist.

        Like I said: our current “job market” is a Fibonacci musical chairs model where the chairs are being pulled up in exponential multiples instead of just one by one. There’s no two ways about it. The system is going to crash.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Summary: grown men in absurd clothes chased a ball all over a field in pursuit of a concussion.

      • therblig

        some kneeled before the game. dumbass cletuses bitched about it on the internet, but watched the game anyway.

    • Very Stable Bozi

      I would be glad to teach any service person how to find the NFL games on the Interwebs.

  • gallbladder

    By the way Donnie, I’d like to buy one of your “round table” tickets for tonight. What? You’re not gonna be there?!? Well, forget it then.

    • bupkus231

      No refunds.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Dana whats-her-face full of poutrage.

    https://twitter.com/saladinahmed/status/954857270654971905

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      She really shouldn’t use big words. She’s extremely bad at it.

    • Crank Tango

      Leaks & sneers is my new adult diaper startup.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Leaks and Smears, FIFY.

    • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

      now touring with Vagenda of Manocide

    • TundraGrifter

      Dana Louche?

    • gallbladder

      Fuck off outta here, D-Lo.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Leaks And Sneers is the name of MY new punk band.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Leaks and Sneers are the names of my new rescue possums.

    • Michael R

      She’s not talking about Russia funneling money
      to Trump through thee NRA , I wonder why ?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Is there a particular subject she’s rabidly angry about, or is this just, like, her way of saying hi?

      • suziq

        Evidently the Women’s March.

    • bupkus231

      If someone should gag this bitch, I wouldn’t care how sanctimonious they were.

    • suziq

      I thought that was about the republican congress.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      She’s talking about Russians and the GOP right?

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Yertle currently on the floor of the Senate lying his ass off.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      So no real change, then?

      • gallbladder

        Beat me to it.

    • BadKitty904

      Another day in Congress, then?

    • akryan

      you’re doing god’s work watching that so we don’t have to.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I read that as lying on his ass on the Senate floor and am now bumming majorly.

  • TundraGrifter

    Several years ago we had an exchange student from China staying with us. There were some twenty-five or so kids from China in town. The first thing we noticed was they had very little in common with each other – China is a damn big nation, and these kids spoke different languages at home, ate different foods, etc. In many ways they had more in common with the American high school students then they did with each other. The other thing we picked up on fairly soon as a lack of social skills and interest in acquiring any. This we largely attributed to the fact that every young woman and man was an only child.

  • janecita

    OT, I’m a horrible person, this made me laugh way too hard.
    Ps. I regret nothing! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b370e0ec4dab51e9029d0e79cd481bfaacd0dfbe5af21e88163df487428dc333.jpg

    • gallbladder

      Oh fuck…*chortle*

    • TJ Barke

      Helen Keller would hate the fuck out of Trump.

      • janecita

        Her cat Mittens would have hate him too;-)

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Feeling his face for 2 seconds, she dropped and praised Jesus she was already blind.

      • gallbladder

        And Mittens (Rmoney)

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Q: Why does Donald Trump smell bad?

        A: So the blind can hate him too!

        • Empress of the Iguana People

          My husband’s blind. He haaaates trump. Crossed party lines to vote for Clinton.

          • gallbladder

            Even he could see what Trump was made of…molotov!

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Well, Trump did make fun of a guy with ALS and signed his epileptic nephew’s estate money over to himself because he had a “dispute” with the family of his late brother. The GOP had disabled demonstrators, who were protesting on Capitol Hill against the health(don’t)care bills, forcibly removed by police — literally dragged out of their wheelchairs and their crutches and other aides confiscated as contraband. A Trump supporter sent flashing-light Pokemon gifs to journalist Kurt Eichenwald, who has epilepsy and needed to be rushed to the hospital as a result. Whether or not Trump’s own son is autistic or not, he clearly doesn’t pay much heed to Barron either. The umbrella video (where he covered himself instead of his kid) shows that much to be true. Literally every group targeted in the Holocaust is being targeted under the Trumpenreich. Including the disabled. Aktion T4, T stands for Trump and 4 stands for… probably his own IQ.

      • Ann Linderman

        She was a rabid Socialist, so he probably would’ve tried to run her out of the country.

    • Michael R

      Mittens is embarrassed to have gone along with the charade for so long .

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      No worries. You won’t believe the Helen Keller jokes from my blind spouse and friends.

      • Bill D. Burger

        One of the first ‘tasteless’ jokes I ever heard as a little boy began, “Helen Keller walked into a bar ____ and then a chair, and a table….”

        Bad Bill….baaaad’!

        • bupkus231

          “Helen Keller jokes” were on a par with “dead baby jokes”.

          Loved a lot of them, but am generally embarrassed to admit it….

          • Bill D. Burger

            I just tell myself:

            https://i.imgflip.com/rtevu.jpg

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her?
            They rearranged the furniture.
            (I am going to hell.)

      • The one I remember is:

        What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?
        Corduroy

      • janecita

        My friend’s husband is a little person, and he is always making jokes about dwarfs. My friend’s name is Nieves which means snows in Spanish. He is being making fun of my friend and himself for the 15 years they have being married.

        • The best little person joke I’ve ever heard is: I used to date a dwarf, I was nuts over her.

          • janecita

            That’s funny:-)

      • arundel

        There was a really ancient Helen Keller joke going around when I was a kid in the 70s, so ancient it riffed off a 1950s tv game show, “What’s My Line?” It doesn’t really work in text, but: they blindfold a contestant and then three people try to convince her or him by voice that they are who they say they are, they have to pick who’s telling the truth.

        Person #1: “My name is Helen Keller.”
        Person #2: “My name is Hellen Keller.”
        Person #3: “MAOII NAAMGH ITH HEWWWN KLEWELLER”.

        Awful of us, but the joke was funny as a 7 year old in the schoolyard in 1976.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You can be a horrible person AND share humorous photos. They’re not mutually exclusive.

    • TJ Barke

      598,000 years to be precise.

    • gallbladder

      I think he’s lying.

    • bupkus231

      It took him a week to eat all the pieces….

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        … and then another two days for Hope Hicks to finish the puzzle for him.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          EW! I think I just got that.

  • Impatient

    Mitch McConnell: ‘This shutdown is entirely artificial.’

    What was that Ted Cruz shutdown about, again? If the GOP puts its foot down, it’s principled?

    Oh wait. It’s simply “Anything we do is right. Anything they do is wrong.” SMH

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OT…but my fucking shop landlord. He just got a ginormous buyout from the city for the literal shithole that I rent from him-a building so decrepit and rundown that he never could’ve sold it on the open market-and is quite likely going to result in my dead ass getting evicted. But he stopped in to interrupt my work today to whinge about how “stressed out” he is. Yeah, life is tough. Maybe choose your audience a little more carefully next time.

    • gallbladder

      Apparently, tact is not his strong suit. Is there nowhere else you can set up?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Long story. I’m looking into it, but unless the deal of all time comes along, I’m going to wait to see what the city is going to do with the building. I’m not a spring chicken; moving the shop is a Herculean task.

        • gallbladder

          I realize that it might offer you little comfort, but I sincerely hope things pan out for you, comrade. I mean, for someone to come to the commentariat smelling of sawdust and lacquer speaks to dedication on so many levels…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thanks, that means a lot to me. I’m a survivor…I’ll make something work by hook or by crook.

          • gallbladder

            We’ve faith in you.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          That’s for sure. Done it… let’s see… three times, the last time around 300 miles.
          Is there some way of getting a word in to the city to let them know you’re there and have reasons to stay?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’ve made my preferences clear…I just have to wait for them to decide what they want to do with the property; be a landlord, tear it down, or order it vacated so it becomes a squat for the tweakers. This was supposed to be due to some road widening, which it turns out, they don’t have the money to do, but they’d already started the property acquisition process.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            When do you think they’ll decide?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I once worked for a guy who paid me $10 an hour to do the work of 2.5 people and his didn’tneed-to-work wife would spends hours in the office planning their fabulous vacations. She lived, but only because thoughts can’t kill.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Did she shower you with details about just HOW fabulous the vacations were? “OMG, you should’ve been there!!”

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          “Don’t ya wanna look at the pictures?!!”

    • TJ Barke

      There’s a Dead Kennedys song that applies here…

  • Jon Sussex
  • amrak63

    Since Brooooooooce was mentioned earlier in the thread:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLwK98Ywgto

  • BadKitty904
    • janecita

      The kids are alright:-)

    • TootsStansbury

      I am suffering from leftist protester’s guilt. I overslept this morning and by the time we were done taking our kitchen scraps to the city compost, i realized once we got done walking to the Metro, getting into town and hoofing it over to the Lincoln memorial, we would be too late. We didn’t participate and we never pass up an opportunity to march. All because i took some sleep. I’ll make it up next time. If there is a next time.

      • Don’t beat yourself up over it, we’re all overtired, and there will be other opportunities. I had to teach, and then hightailed it to the Bronx because I had to get to work. My teaching gig goes on break in March, and I will take a day off for the March for Science.

      • BadKitty904

        You’re allowed. :0)

      • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

        i never go, so if we’re stoning folks, we have to start with me.

    • My favorite: They tried to bury us, they didn’t know we were seeds.

  • Bill D. Burger

    You KNOW The Fucking Moron was watching, and so did Schumer. Schumer trolled the shit outta’ the Orange Dotard with that placard:

    https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2018/01/20/gettyimages-907689006schumer_slide-2e065d05e12b1494d8c5f48e1f15233a10696161-s900-c85.jpg

    • Michael R
      • Bill D. Burger

        “Well, if you say who gets fired it always has to be the top,” Trump said. “I mean, problems start from the top and they have to get solved from the top and the president’s the leader. And he’s got to get everybody in a room and he’s got to lead.”

        He also said “when they talk about the government shutdown, they’re going to be talking about the president of the United States, who the president was at that time.”
        2013

      • TundraGrifter

        Mr. Trump and “sense.” That’s hilarious! Perhaps he intended to write “cents.” Although a penny for this thoughts would be a gross overpayment.

    • Doug Langley

      Considering how nasty Donnie has been to Schumer, he’s entitled to it.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        And more.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Song is stuck in my head I tells you

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lstDdzedgcE

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Good song and the video is them actually playing the record. He is one of the guitar players in social distortion, for some reason older punk rockers start making country music.

    https://youtu.be/WBGDkD0uQi8

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • gallbladder

      Ha!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Extra credit for Duff beer knit cap.

      • gallbladder

        Right down to the wordmark.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Concise, on point.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Uh oh, DR has a seriously impish grin.

    • Doug Langley

      And I drove right by downtown and didn’t know! Hi, Louise!

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Born on this date in 1920, DeForest Kelley.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrVqmYzGTuM

    • gallbladder

      Dammit Spotts…

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Bones, another doctor I trust more than whoever administered Trump’s phony medical exam.

    • The Wanderer

      Kelley also appeared in Westerns, both movie and TV. Had a bit part on Bonanza.

      • Jamoche

        Also a bit part on The Virginian, but then who didn’t?

  • Shan

    Just because people mentioned needing something not so terrible for tne OT:

    This is from a church not far from where I live.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1686453bf42bd6c0ad086e5592d882f8ff4d50149723b8b4aa4c680ddbf20531.jpg

  • gallbladder

    No puppet! (have a wiener.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmsbP13xu6k

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • BosGrl

      It’s too late. Daddy’s never gonna love him.

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Why should daddy be the exception to the rule?

      • Stulexington

        But papa Putin will give him a kind word I’m sure. You know just before the next round of marching orders.

        • BosGrl

          Putin is drinking an expensive bottle of wine, diddling his girlfriend, and laughing.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      THanks, Obama!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Porn star silence buyouts at a 10 year low!”

    • Lord Jim
    • Lord Jim

      “Strong on Military, Crime, Borders, & ISIS, Judicial Strength & Numbers”

      (citation needed)

    • TundraGrifter

      “Lowest unemployment rate for ALL?” Looks like it was lower in 2000 – although there may have been some changes in the way it is calculated, so I’m not sure if the numbers are directly comparable.

      https://data.bls.gov/pdq/SurveyOutputServlet

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        We need to start talking about automation and UBI (and, I hope, something like WPA/CCC where people can have a jobs guarantee if they feel they’re going to go stir-crazy with nothing to do). “Full employment” is a farce.

  • Doug Langley

    OT: just got a phone call from the GOP screeching that (Sherrod) Brown shut down the government to deny pay to the troops and granny and babies and I must call him RIGHT NOW to scream at him. “It is petty! It is cruel!” About that time I hung up. (It was a recording or I would have had some choice words)

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Wait i though Schumer was responsible? Can they even keep their stories straight?

      • shivaskeeper

        You have to localize it by Congressional district.

        • Doug Langley

          Right. Schumer isn’t my district.

          • shivaskeeper

            I figured. I would expect every district to have similar calls about their own local scary DemonRat person or persons. I would also expect these calls to have been recorded a week ago or more and just cued up for today.

    • gallbladder
  • eka

    apparently the white house away message attacks democrats. what a country.

    http://mashable.com/2018/01/20/white-house-government-shutdown-away-message/#j8hTAgI.SkqJ

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      It’s not clear if this message is even legal, since it’s a case of the White House using one of the government’s public information channels — in this case, the phone line citizens use to call in and leave comments — to attack political opponents.

      When has that ever stopped the Trump administration?

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Rules are only as good as the ones charged to enforce them. And we know the GOP will do absolutely nothing to sanction Trump over anything he does as long as he keeps scribbling his crayon signature on whatever fascist legislation gets put on his desk.

      • Paperless Tiger

        And now, a message from the Department of Butthurt.

      • OutOfOrbit

        He has always squirmed out of trouble and is still squirming out of shit

      • Lord Jim

        The President, Veep, and a few WH staff are exempt from the Hatch Act.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Yeah but this is using official government resources for a political attack ad.

          • Lord Jim

            Mm. Point taken.

    • Shan

      Holy shit

  • Resistor Radio

    What’s for dinner, everybody? I made a red curry and my mouth is aflame! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/62368e8fc4cac1ff0ea95d62a55ebf48622e7b5f08a046fee997e6306ee63e19.jpg

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Looks delicious! I had crispy chicken strips with coconut rice, peas and carrots.

      • Resistor Radio

        That sounds good!

    • gallbladder

      Let’s eat!

      • therblig

        i’m not talking about hate.

    • Lord Jim

      I can bring a bottle of Merlot. When should I arrive?

      • Resistor Radio

        Anytime!

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Party at Resistors house.

          • Resistor Radio

            Woot woot!!!!!!

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      That looks good. Not sure what I am doing yet.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Working on pork chops in my smoker as we speak…….your’s is awesome.

    • TundraGrifter

      A few days ago I took some leftover Cuban black bean soup and made feijoada. We’d been out to eat and I’d brought home some ribeye. More than enough for a sandwich (which was delicious) and there was a strip I saved. So I put that in the black bean soup with some extra onion and some cutup Honey Baked Ham from New Year’s and a diced kielbasa I grilled in the toaster oven. Damn good! It was lunch so I didn’t serve it over rice.

    • janecita

      Chinese food, because I’m lazy.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Oh that sounds good. Haven’t had chinese food in a while.

    • Doug Langley

      Looks yummy. I pulled some juice I had frozen in past months by cooking ground turkey. Threw in pot, added water, boiled. Added can of tuna, one chopped onion, chopped carrot, pat of butter. Simmered for almost half an hour. Wow, who says you can’t eat well on a budget?

    • Raan

      We got fast food because we just got back from Busch Gardens and no one has the energy to cook or do anything really.

      The place Mom works did a staff appreciation day, so she was able to get discounted tickets.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Crab Alfredo. Too much crab Alfredo, it turns out. Housemate just wanted a bacon sandwich. So we’re out of bacon again.

  • janecita
    • Lord Jim

      SKWEE!

    • Resistor Radio

      Need to order one of those

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Basket of adorables!

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Awww

  • IdiotsforPalin

    IdiotsforPalin • an hour ago
    NN)A year into Donald Trump’s presidency, global confidence in US leadership has fallen to a new low, according to an opinion survey conducted across 134 countries.

    The Gallup poll puts global approval of US leadership at just 30%, slightly behind China on 31% and only three points ahead of Russia. Germany is now the top-rated global power in the world, with an approval rating of 41%, according to the survey.
    The US rating is down nearly 20 points from the 48% approval rating in the last year of President Barack Obama’s administration, Gallup said. It’s also four points lower than the previous low of 34%, seen in the final year of George W. Bush’s presidency.

    •Edit•Reply•Share ›

    Avatar
    drbeatdb90 IdiotsforPalin • 14 minutes ago
    GDP at 3.5% projected to reach 5%. I think it was one of your own (Bill Clinton) that said “it’s the economy stupid”, well, in your case idiot, according to your avator.

    IdiotsforPalin drbeatdb90 • a few seconds ago
    Yeah, it wasn’t Clinton…it was James Carville……fact free area

    IdiotsforPalin drbeatdb90 • a minute ago
    Thanks for lying Breitfart…better get your head out of Fox’s ass: This is continuation of the Obama economy: https://bea.gov/newsrelease

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ohhh! nuther’ smackdown:

    [Rep. Pat Meehan (R. Pennsylvania) denies harassing former aide amid settlement, loses House ethics seat
    By ELANA SCHOR 01/20/2018 04:16 PM EST

    Rep. Pat Meehan (R-Pa.) on Saturday lost his seat on the House ethics committee even as he denied charges that he harassed a former aide with whom he confidentially settled a workplace misconduct claim using funds from his congressional office budget.]

    https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/20/pat-meehan-denies-harassment-aide-misconduct-claim-congress-353583

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Didnt Gordy just step down from the ethics committee too?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Yup! Gowdy Doody said his ‘workload’ wuz’ just too, too strenuous.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          He was working so hard at being an asshole at the office that it was cutting into his time for being an asshole at home.

  • Blackest Noobs

    the thing that should have been the red flag is
    1) the dad’s hairdo
    2) and having more than 4 kids

    those together…dad with really odd and terrible hairdo and 4+ kids = something fucked up is going on.

    • Daniel

      If you judge someone as bad just because they have four kids and a bad hairdo, you’re saying that the President of the United States is a… Wait.

  • Resistor Radio

    Hey, if it’s 7 pm and Chris Matthews is live right now, does that mean Rachel will be on at 9?

    • OutOfOrbit

      That be nice

      • rg9rts

        she is supposed to be on at 7

        • OutOfOrbit

          We will know in 5 min.

  • TJ Barke

    AV8-R

    • OutOfOrbit

      F52 driver?

      • phoenix00

        Costs out of control! Cancel order!

    • tehbaddr

      C15H10Cl2N2O2!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Hike!

  • Daniel

    Deutsche Bank is handing over records of worrying activity on the Kushner account to Mueller.

    This could be fun.

  • vivian

    She looks a little like Zero Mostel.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Zero Mostel libelz.

      She just looks like a zero.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    I’m having a great time over at DeadBreitbart…these morons have the brains of a dead clam shell…..

    • gallbladder

      “Brains?”

    • Bill D. Burger

      I love getting banned over there every now and again. Kick that loony hornet’s nest and listen to em’ buzzzzzz’! ___ Then reroute, rotate, go back in and kick em again.
      I just consider it tough love.

      • phoenix00

        Or schadenfreude?

    • tehbaddr

      You are brave, I won’t stroll though that mucky Shitbog!

  • BosGrl

    Watching the first season of ER and Doug Ross is a judgmental, sexist asshole.

    • Daniel

      But so handsome!

      • BosGrl

        Yes…

      • rg9rts

        MWAAAHHH

    • Timothy Watson

      He does get some character development later on.

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    My only two experiences with homeschooling were when I took their reservations for an educational center I worked at. I don’t remember the kids looking like anything different, but the “teachers” were kinda strange. Spawn1 finished her last two years in an alternative that’s offered by our school district, subject to all the rules and regulations the district imposes. She did much better there and it moved her to go college.

  • wait! what?

    OT
    I always KNEW Matt Damon was a puppet…

    https://youtu.be/gnPWJOJYVKc

  • rg9rts

    Homeschooling is one giant recess

    • TootsStansbury

      Did you mean to spell abscess wrong?

    • BosGrl

      I home-schooled my daughter for one semester. It wasn’t easy at all. We were given a curriculum and I tried really hard to follow it. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have some education experience (I didn’t), a cooperative kid (nope), and a school department prepared to help (despite the chart above, it was a MA school that never checked on us and promoted her on).

      • rg9rts

        you point out the problem …it isn’t easy and the parents lose interest…

        • BosGrl

          No, it’s ridiculously hard. I didn’t lose interest myself, but I can see where that would happen.

          • rg9rts

            I taught adults in the service and it was no picnic.. and they were interested in the material.. $$$

  • BadKitty904
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Were the Turpins doing beautician home schooling?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Much like everything else deregulated. Sure you had some success stories because their parents are fucking geniuzes and their kids are too and would have been better intellectually stimulated than in the regular schools. Then there’s everything else where fucking psychos and morons ruin it for their kids by keeping ignorant of the world, abused or fed propaganda as fact and/or poor socialized.

    Like the kids who went to Xtian Skules because of Jeebus and Secks Ed.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • shivaskeeper

      Now, if more reporters would be that candid, I would be a much happier person. Too bad he didn’t do that on air.

  • BadKitty904
  • Bub the very stable zombie

    The government may be shut down, the country leaderless – but Donnie is still out there sellin’ hats…
    https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/954869817353289728

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Does he have a special shutdown hat?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        ‘Make America Close for Bunsiness’

    • phoenix00

      “Your $100,000 ticket fee is safe. No please don’t ask me for refunds.”

    • Bill D. Burger

      On the other end: “Donny, my big hands guy, I just wanted to remind you ‘Shark Week’ is coming up on TV. ~muaaaah’~”

    • There’s no paper and no electronic devices on that desk. Is he just calling for delivery?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        He is checking if McDonald’s is still open due to the shutdown.

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Probably.
        “Papa John’s may I take your order?”

        “This is the president. I’ll have a large – make that an Xtra-large – pepperoni, bacon, sausage, beef, salami, ham, cappocollo, mortadella, sopresatta and pancetta pizza. Triple cheese. Well done. Also a six pack of diet Coke – Dr. Jackson says I have to watch my weight. And send a knife and fork too, okay? That’s going to: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the West Wing. General Kelly will pay for it…”

    • ariel_gee_398

      Zoom in and look at his eyes. Is he drugged? Just sad to be missing his party? I can’t say, but something ain’t right.

  • tehbaddr

    I don’t think I’ve watched a full length feature on big vid screen for over 2 months! Mind you I have only interwebs, and no pay fer streaming services. Thinking Prelnger Archives or some half assed Yurtube thing, Any suggestions fellow wonkers? Really need some vidiot box!

    • Paperless Tiger

      Talk about deprogramming.

      • tehbaddr

        Deprogramming! Let me tell you about deprogramming!

    • Raan

      Game Grumps and Super Best Friends Play on YouTube.

      • tehbaddr

        Actually heard about game grumps on WFMU the other night and that other thing, it’s for gamer twitching short span millennials, right? No can do!

        • Raan

          Actually, it’s more like Mystery Science Theater, but with the vidjagames.

          • tehbaddr

            Great! So every reference will be lost on me! Challenge you to a game of Pong?

  • jaspersdad
    • amrak63

      I could almost believe he’s stupid enough to do that for real.

      • rg9rts

        like looking into the sun

      • Doug Langley

        “Obama could eat a dozen tide pods in a minute and said you were too sissy to try it!!”

        • RMKH

          It’ll put lead in your tiny, tiny pencil next time you meet a “film star”.

      • God Emperor Emeritus

        Do you really think he knows what laundry detergent is or looks like?

    • rg9rts

      LMAO

    • Bill D. Burger
    • DainBramage

      That made me want to vomit…then I saw the tide pods.

    • SDGeoff3

      If only.

  • Jennifer R

    TERFs being anti-Semitic? It’s more common than you think!
    https://www.twitter.com/nanayasleeps/status/954796927836704771

    • Shan

      TERFs are such garbage.

      • shivaskeeper

        Yes. They are.

    • shivaskeeper

      You seem surprised. (I know you’re not, but go with it) Extremists on either end of the spectrum are not that far apart. You couldn’t tell which side they were on just by their words or actions unless the told you.

      Fuck a Bell Curve. This is a horseshoe bent almost into a circle.

      • Jennifer R

        TERFs and Nazis are the same thing really.

        Not in a horseshoe way (because horseshoe theory is wrong, Fishhook theory is right), but in a TERFs are far right way.

        • shivaskeeper

          Not at all. Nazis will tell you they are extreme right and TERF’s will tell you they are extreme left. That is a huge difference right there. /s

          Edit. Fucking snark tag didn’t show up.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah but why listen to the TERF, when their actions speak far louder and far righter than they say they identify as.

          • shivaskeeper

            The snark tag didn’t show. It’s fixed now.

            I know exactly who they are. My godson is trans so I have had a few run ins with them on his behalf. They are as bad as the most rabidly anti-trans righties. They are probably worse because they take more time to seem reasonable in public.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah 100% my bad then. I’ve not had the spoons to process non literal statements for like the last month when everything kinda fell apart.

          • shivaskeeper

            No issue. Spoons? I am not familiar with that expression.

          • Jennifer R

            Ok, spoon theory. It’s a disability metaphor ascribing a physical representation of cognitive, emotional, and physical energy to spend doing an activity.
            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

          • shivaskeeper

            And I learned something.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah I’ve found it to be useful slang when talking with my other disabled friends.

          • Ellie

            Thank you for letting me learn something new today. And…it’s a pretty good metaphor.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, I always was fond of it.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            How are you doing? Are you managing okay?

          • Jennifer R

            Trying to. Probably going to move to Seattle still, maybe with the person I was originally with but in a different structure and other people too.

          • Ms. MLG on Maui

            Land somewhere safe and happy, girl.

          • Jennifer R

            Thanks. Likely Seattle, maybe Troy NY.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Will it be as comfortable an environment as the original’s plan would have been?

          • Jennifer R

            Better if the friend follows through.

          • TJ Barke

            Left perhaps, but conservative.

          • shivaskeeper

            That was extreme snark.

        • Resistor Radio

          I have never heard of Fishhook Theory before, and I’m not sure I understand it…help?

          • Jennifer R

            Centrists insisting both sides are bad help the extreme.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m not sure I really understand, and how that fits with the visual?

          • Jennifer R

            Giving a platform to the Nazis gives them legitimacy.

          • Resistor Radio

            So, while the extreme left may be extreme, it’s never advocating for genocide or white supremacy? By saying the extreme left and the extreme right are similar (or two sides of a coin), it gives legitimacy to violent racism as a political ideology? There is no left parallel to Nazis, and suggesting that there is gives the Nazis cover? I’m not sure I’m getting this, am I getting the concept?

          • Jennifer R

            Well I mean the extreme left isn’t who you seem to think? People advocating for racial supremacy are by definition far right.
            Giving a platform to means allowing Nazis to say Nazi or cryptonazi statements.

          • Resistor Radio

            What am I missing about the extreme left? I mean, if my assumptions are wrong, what am I missing?

          • Jennifer R

            Well I mean, what do you picture the far left as?

            Right now it sounds like you think they are Nazis but with a difference? What is that difference in your mind?

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh, no! Not at all! I’m just trying to understand the fishhook theory, and I was using my understanding of horseshoe theory to get me there.

          • Jennifer R

            Oh! K basically it comes down to letting Nazis say Nazi things gives them power.
            You don’t debate the merits of burning all the Jewish people and gays because there are none.

        • vivian

          Astro-TERFs are even worse– 4th dimensional derp.

      • amrak63
        • shivaskeeper

          I know it well.

      • Smoke O’Hontas
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So has the media been successful in turning everyone against the Dems yet? I’ve been away watching porn all day

    • Paperless Tiger

      So was everybody else, so no.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just got back from the Women’s March–I think I’ll check out what’s in today’s NYT:

    NEWS ANALYSIS

    Shutdown? It Could Be Forgotten in a Trumpian Flash
    By JONATHAN MARTIN

    As Democrats pushed the government toward a shutdown, they could take solace in the rapid-fire news cycles of the Trump era. A crisis now may be long forgotten by November.

    Democrats pushed the government toward a shutdown? No, asshole, that was Donald TYVM.

    Unfortunately, I still like a lot of their columnists and their international coverage, but as far as covering American politics is concerned, I’m done. WaPo is officially my number one go-to source from now on. (And I was naive AF to think they would learn anything from their crappy 2016 coverage FFS!)

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    Mark your calendars, folks. Justin’s goin’ to L.A. next month! And he’s going to preach the blasphemous gospel of libruhlism at the GOP’s own Mecca.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a21fb58819577867c50ccfbbf7e9f4f2bd09030ab8d266c436a1ad1c80ff97bb.png

    The Temple of Reagan. He’s going to the Temple of Reagan. This is like a boss-level conquest. Especially if he recites the Satanic Verses of Dan McGrew.

    Troll level: QUANTUM INFINITY.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That’s the library with a fucking airplane in it right?

      • Yes. Because nothing says serious document study like “hey, look! It’s a plane!”

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          You see the thread? It’s deplorable, to say the least. Figures, morons posting RWNJ YouTube clips with kooky Reagan red-baiting speeches. Like his “warning” about universal healthcare, which Canada has and seems to be doing just fine with.

          Looks like he’s already hit a nerve. IIRC this trip marks a year exactly since he visited the Trump shithouse also too.

          • There was an article in the National Post tbis week about how the American RWNJs hate Justin because of his “no, you can’t have federal monies if you are all forced-birth promoting assholes”

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            I would imagine the Canajun RWNJs too. Especially with Scheer Idiot and Ezra’s “IT guy” at the helm. What gets me is how anyone thinks this is news, or a sudden departure in policy… He wrote in his book that nobody should be allowed to use their religion to deny people their civil rights, and made supporting pro-choice a requirement for serving in the party when he became the Liberals’ leader. Gotta sell papers, I guess, and froth up the rage base. Idiots.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Ted Striker’s bird, mayhaps? Is Otto still in there or did he pick himself up an inflatable side-piece from Fox?

  • bluicebank

    So glad I grew up in an age where everyone attended public schools.

    And while, perhaps, my parents had enough college education to pull off home schooling, the distraction of my brothers and sisters would have negated most of the lessons. Outdoor exercise time would consist of climbing trees and not coming down.

    • Paperless Tiger

      I don’t know how they do it. Other than school, we grew up pretty much like wild animals.

      • bluicebank

        We apparently grew up as terrorists, with all that “rocketry” that exploded on the launch pad.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          I used to have a chemistry set as a kid with whatever chemicals the chemistry store had. I made so many things that exploded but did it all outside. Wouldn’t want to blow up the house.

          • Doug Langley

            You must be really old. My chemistry set was so safe all I could get was a slight fizzing.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            I am almost 40, my chemistry set was better then the schools set. But that was only because my dad lives up near Princeton university and me having educational things like that was better then running around getting into trouble.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            You were still getting into trouble, but at least it was at home.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            But it was educational trouble, which is somehow different.

          • “Kids! Bringing about aramgeddon can be dangerous. Best not to attempt it in your living room” -Gaiman and Pratchett

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            When the chemicals say do not mix with this other chemical you just have to find out why. I also watched enough Mr Wizard and Bill Nye to know not to do dangerous things in a confined space because of the fumes. Who said Tv isnt useful?

          • bluicebank

            I was able to buy all the ingredients to make mercury fulminate … EXCEPT for the pure grain alcohol. So I distilled it in the house.

            “Son, two Baptists just came by, and the place smells like a distillery!” That’lll teach the Baptists from coming by.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • RMKH

      Outstanding!

    • Ellie

      I have a friend in that picture. I’m hoping she sends me one slightly closer up.

  • janecita
    • wait! what?

      Life lesson:

      Everything isn’t bun and games.

    • Raan

      Take from them everything, leave them nothing.

    • shivaskeeper

      They could be coursing the bunny. Granted if they caught it, it looks big enough to turn the tables on them, but still.

    • Resistor Radio

      Poor bunny!

  • DainBramage
  • Michael R
  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Housemate is watching the odious Barrett-Jackson collector car auction. Had a lil puff piece on some ‘philanthropist’ who bought a ‘million dollar charity car.’
    Maybe it’s because I iz a poorz and don’t understand the world of more-money-that-one-person-could-ever-possibly-spend, but if you’re spending a million dollars on a car for yourself, it seems to me that it hardly counts as philanthropy even if that’s where part of the money goes.

    • I have no idea on that. I am watching everyone’s favourite billionaire with PTSD, Iron Man

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Lucky. After 7 PM I’m not allowed to handle the controller.

      • Timothy Watson

        I’m watching Iron Fist just so I can be caught up when I watch The Defenders…

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • thewalkindude

      Blue Planet II is coming up on BBC America

    • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

      the world of charity auctions/ dinners and fundraising is just so weird to me. i don’t like it, there’s something wrong with all the back-patting. private charity in general is just… i don’t know, man, even when it works well, i can’t feel good that i (for example) gave this small selection of children a small number of presents for one holiday. it’s not really helping, is it?

    • CripesAmighty

      Fuck those assholes. Using old cars as asset portfolios in a speculation circle-jerk has ruined the hobby for everybody else.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    My nieces and nephews were homeschooled because there was too much Satan in the schools. Fortunately, they turned out all right and went on to college and regular lives Their church provided study materials and activities for homeschooling parents, and they used each other as a support group.

    One time, they took all their homeschooled children on a field trip to an Amish farm. The farmer wanted to know what school they were from, and, after they explained the situation to him, he looked at the parents and said, “Aren’t you worried about your childrens’ socialization?”

    • shivaskeeper

      Even the Amish called them out?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        They go to public school up until the 8th grade.

        • shivaskeeper

          That was not meant to be a literal statement.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • FDRliberal

    I’m pretty sure Mexico is open today.

    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/954835261166374912

  • Mitch_Haelan

    There are legitimate reasons to homeschool. If your child is functionally retarded and your school district does not have an adequate special needs program. If your child is a genius and your school district does not have an adequate advanced placement program. And I mean literally a certified genius. Mensa membership and everything. If your only reason for homeschooling is religious objections to established scientific fact, then your children should be taken from you and put into foster care and you should be chemically sterilized.

    • Shan

      Yeah, no. Awful idea.

      • Resistor Radio

        Lefty Poe?

  • janecita

    How else would you keep your kids ignorant, and compliant if you don’t homeschool them? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8dd1959fafc06d34db6603754d14b2aab86621f7d7191bac76ff8b401a7fdb3.jpg

    • Shan

      Plus, keep burping out so many of them that they have to spend all their spare time raising their younger siblings.

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Or molesting them.

      • shivaskeeper

        They burp them out? Is that some sort of homeschool taught theory?

        • Shan

          After a dozen, I imagine it gets as easy as burping. My first took 4 hours and my second just one or two. By 19, I’d be giving birth before I was even pregnant.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            4 hours?!? My one and only took 15, which partially explains the “one and only” aspect. Thank dog for epidurals.

          • Shan

            With #1, my water broke so I went straight to the hospital, like they told us to. I was 5cm already but it was a couple of hours before contractions started. I was in the labor pool when that happened and went “screw this” and got out. In the delivery room (very nice, it was cozy like a bedroom at home), I tried gas and air (nitrous oxide?) but it didn’t work and made me barf so I gave up. Babby came a couple hours later. Only bad part was getting stitched up afterward because he got stuck and the midwife had to cut me. No bueno.

      • The more kids they have, the greater likelihood that a couple of them will be gay. Now, that’s the reality show I want to see, ‘My Big Gay Duggar Wedding’.

        • Shan

          Yes, please!

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
      • janecita

        Sad thing, the daughters are following on her footsteps.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Yeah, some of them even have their own show now.

          • I blame TLC for inflicting these awful people on the world.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Remember when it used to be called The “Learning” Channel?

          • CripesAmighty

            Jesus fuck. What’s it called–‘Rabbit Warren?’

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s all they know. The only home life they to look at for guidance is their own parents.

          That they would go the same route was almost guaranteed.

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      Michelle Duggar, star of TLC’s reality show, “19 Kids and Counting”, says there needs to be more children because our world needs more joy. And as for overpopulation? That’s just a lie, Duggar recently told the Christian Broadcasting Network in a web interview. “The idea of overpopulation is not accurate,” Duggar says, because the entire population of the world could fit inside of Jacksonville, Florida.”

      I don’t feel any other comment on the efficacy or advisability of homeschooling is necessary.

    • CripesAmighty

      Send ’em to a DeVos Idiot Academy.

  • Do i now watch Captain America One or move on to Iron Man 2?

    • gallbladder

      Before we get to that, what’s the popcorn situation look like? Priorities.

      • *ducks in fear* i don’t like popcorn

        • gallbladder

          Exception taken. What of your alternatives?

          • msanthropesmr

            Bridge mix

          • wait! what?

            A heartless snack that really clubs your colon.

          • I’m eating beer nuts right now

          • gallbladder

            In that case, I concur with janecita: “Captain America.”

          • I am just waiting on the first post-credit scene, and why you always stay to the end during every Marvel movie

          • Shan

            Shwarma!

          • Well, tbis ‘i am motherfucking Nick Fury and i am gonna talk to about the motherfucking Avengers”

          • gallbladder

            With tzatziki or GTFO.

          • Lord Jim

            Dry cereal.

          • CripesAmighty

            Kit Kat Minis (giant bag).

        • DainBramage

          That’s communism!

        • Shan

          Pretzels? Trail mix? I make batches of almonds (whole and sliced), blueberry raisins, and semi-sweet chocolate chips for snacks for the kids.

        • janecita

          I don’t like popcorn either.

    • janecita

      Watch Captain America.

    • Shan

      Tammy of s badass.

    • shivaskeeper

      Fucking A right.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I voted for her. :-)

      • Shan

        I wish I could! I get to vote for James Thompson soon, though! Woot!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’d give anything to have a badass Senator like her. Instead, I get Jeff Flake.

        • Melanie

          Gℴogle giving now 97 US dollars per/hr to complete esay tasks on the computer .. Work only for just few hours daily & spend greater time together with your relatives … Anyone can also apply this offer…on Sunday I got a new Land Rover Defender after I been earning $9908 this past six weeks .it’s actually the easiest-work but you wo’nt forgive yourself if you do not test this.!pe502v: http://GoogleNewHouseJornalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ♥♥♥b♥y♥j♥♥h♥♥y♥♥a♥♥e♥y♥♥b♥x♥l♥♥♥u♥j♥l♥c♥♥♥t♥♥♥i♥s♥♥h♥♥p♥♥v♥p♥♥♥c♥♥z♥♥♥e:::::!hx05c:lhuhu

        • Resistor Radio

          Lucky. I’ve got McConnell and Paul (gag). Or, well, I did.

          • Claire

            Gℴℴgle is giving 98 dollars every hour to do some small tasks on the laptop .. Work only for only few hours daily & spend more time with your circle of relatives … any individual can also do it…last Tuesday I purchased a great Chrysler after I been earnin $16200 this five weeks .it sounds the extraordinary approach but you may no longer forgive yourself if you do not check out it.!yw591z:➱➱➱ http://GoogleNewTopJornalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ♥♥♥b♥♥q♥♥h♥c♥♥♥z♥♥♥z♥g♥♥♥l♥♥n♥♥v♥♥j♥♥♥u♥♥♥r♥♥n♥x♥f♥j♥♥n♥♥w♥♥♥t♥♥♥z♥♥♥r♥♥♥x♥r♥♥♥h:::::!hx342u:lhuh

          • blaid droog

            Just read this.
            I like to say my senators are repub, rubio, and repub lite, nelson. When I call Nelsons office I always call him a repub, his staff always corrects me. Then I call him a blue dog. They have no comeback for that.

          • Resistor Radio

            A Nelson is better than a Manchin, no?

          • blaid droog

            Tuff call. I just hate him so much. He voted for gorsuck when W nominated gorsuck to be a federal judge. Plus, he’s blue and hardly ever barks. His masters have trained him well.

    • gallbladder

      Not only nailed it, but crucified it.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You go, Tammy! Break a prosthetic foot off in his ass.

    • Lord Jim

      THAT’S gonna leave a mark!

      • gallbladder

        Impotent rage retort (or something that resembles a retort) in 3..2…

        • Shan

          He will taunt her for crashing her copter.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      Boom!

    • Nasty Woman Persisted
    • amrak63

      As I posted earlier: Cheeto Face, this meganekko is you:

      https://i.imgur.com/miZsz0r.jpg

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius
    • crestdurn

      She also called him “Cadet Bone Spurs” which I thought was a delightful touch.

  • memzilla Ω
    • gallbladder

      The “which one of you guys fucked up?” raised eyebrow sells it.

      • CripesAmighty

        Or, “I cannot begin to express how much you suck, right now.”

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    File this under ghaaaaack!!!1!!1!!!

    California sushi lover pulls 5-foot tapeworm out of his own body

    An avid sushi fan made a trip to the Community Regional Medical Center (CRMC) in Fresno, California, after discovering a tapeworm coming out of his body when using the bathroom.

    Dr. Kenny Bahn, who works at CRMC, shared the story of his sushi-loving patient Jan. 8 on “This Won’t Hurt A Bit,” a medical podcast. In an episode titled “Parasites,” Bahn said that the young Asian male claimed to have suffered from blood-filled diarrhea before saying: “I really want to get treated for worms.”The patient informed the doctor that assumed his “guts were coming out” of his bottom, which led the man to believe he was dying. The long worm began to move after he pulled at it, however. Although the man continued to pull on the worm before eventually reaching its end, he still wasn’t positive that he had retrieved the parasite’s entire body.

    “A lot of patients come up and say: ‘I want to be treated for worms,'” Bahn said of his skepticism during the podcast. “Truthfully, a lot of the time, I don’t think they have it but they think they have it because they feel something.”

    The doctor changed his perspective, however, after the patient showed the doctor proof. Bahn pulled a nearly finished toilet paper roll out of the patient’s plastic grocery bag and noticed a large parasitic worm wrapped around it.

    “I open it up and I take out a toilet paper roll…wrapped around it, of course, is what looks like this giant, long flat tapeworm,” Bahn said.

    Once unraveled, the tapeworm measured out to be 5 and a half feet long.

  • DainBramage

    I can’t tell anymore. Is The Onion still satire, or did they become a serious news org?
    https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/954787134560489472

    • shivaskeeper

      On the bonus side, since they were surrounded by other women they should have been able to control their urges and not… do whatever it is they do in private company that requires Mother to be there to chaperone.

      I do feel sorry for the Onion writers.

    • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

      What if ‘Mother’ wanted to go? What would you do then, Mikey, huh?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Cold, sleet-y winter storm blowing in this evening, so I stopped on my way home from work to pick up Mollywog for a trip to El Herradero Market for a couple of quarts of posole and tortillas. Older gentleman out front selling fresh pumpkin empanadas still warm from the oven, as an extra bonus. My life just got better.

    • gallbladder

      Nothing better than fresh out of the oven.

    • msanthropesmr

      I should make some posole. Gotta go to the mercado tomorrow, maybe pick up some fixins.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There is nothing better on a cold, damp night. It’s like an elixir.

        • It’s my thanksgiving and Xmas supper. I make it more often when I have the prep time.

          Pozole is truly an elixir.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            My family always has it for Christmas Eve, along with tamales. Stick with the classics, I say.

          • Shan

            Am I the only person who doesn’t like tamales? Or enchiladas?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m….speechless. You should seek help.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you. I was looking for something like that…

          • Shan

            Corn tortillas turn me off. So does cornbread.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You know, they make them out of flour too. Not for enchiladas, but in general.

          • You’re probably getting tamales made without lard.

            Praise the Lard.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Dude…it’s all about the lard, innit!

          • Always will be.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The Lard is my savior…

          • The lard solves all problems

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And so tasty!

          • The Lard is both the problem and solution.

          • I though that was alcohol?

          • alwayspunkindrublic
          • Shan

            I lived in the barrio as a kid and the Mexican ladies used to bring them around at Christmas, so I’m pretty sure they were genuinely made with lard.

          • Mos def.

    • Fartknocker

      God bless you. Posole is one of my five favorite dishes. And I’ll bet the tortillas are made fresh in the store.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yep. The place is a total hive of industry. There’s the empanada man, somebody’s always grilling carne asada out in the parking lot, another guy roasting chiles, about 10 kinds of pico de gallo and fresh homemade salsa.

        • Fartknocker

          In Texas we have Fiesta marts which are essentially a very well stocked Hispanic food store that branched into other ethnic food categories. They are magical to me with all the sounds and smells. Your place sounds equally awesome.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It is. Lively, friendly, smells like heaven. But by all means, let’s deport these people as soon as possible.

        • Shan

          I also don’t like cilantro.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    My wife worked at a museum. The homeschoolers were the worst behaved little uncivilized monsters.

    • Shan

      I have seen some nice ones when my XH and I did the craft fair circuits. Tne common denominator with the cool kids was the parents were NOT fundagelicals but crunchy granola hippie artist types. This is before the anti-vaxxers got big, though.

  • Michael R
    • Fartknocker

      Hey, if you look real close you can see Mrs. Fartknocker and me right next to the live oak tree (3rd one on the left closest to the doors). She was wearing a pink sweater and taking a hit of some apparently good marijuana from one of her lady friends.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I love the smug self-righteousness coming from the tv media like Erin Burnett and Chris Matthews, acting like they are somehow above the state of the US today when they were just as complicit in creating it.

    • BosGrl

      I know. I was going between the two, then I went back to ER. Ali is on now, thank goodness.

    • KAC shut down Erin Burnett. For shame.

    • gallbladder

      …and/or living in it.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • gallbladder

      Profile in courage.

    • Magnificent Mopery.

      Let’s hope it goes something like this … with votes!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmLP0QQPqFw

    • Bananas Foster

      Jesus. Even Mueller’s part is fucking serious.

  • Picabo
    • vukojebina_MΩment

      I love inductive reasoning.

      • nosuchuser

        Funniest thing I’ve read today!

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Proud of you. Most people don’t have the capacity to get that kind of pun.

          • nosuchuser

            It was obvious to be given that I’m an Electronics Technician and Computer Engineer…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • shivaskeeper

      SHRILL1!111!111111!!!!!1one111111!!!!! Who let her speak?

      • gallbladder

        Also too PANTSUITS!!!111!!11!!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I thought she was dying of PARKINSON’S DISEASE!!1!!!!1

          • shivaskeeper

            She already dies of the herpe-gonorr-syphi-clap on the campaign trail. That walk in the woods? That was to prep her alien robot body double.

      • TJ Barke

        Why won’t she go away!? Wait, where’d she go?!

    • Cat Cafe

      So, so, so, so #StillWithHer

      • jowgajen

        I wore my Hillary hat to the march today. It’s still a nice hat, made in the USA.

        • Cat Cafe

          I love you

    • wait! what?

      Awesome. The first person who posts a Susan Sarandon tweet about today’s events has to play dodge wrench.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/84b818b968668021b4c8bfb9bc9e94d99be1e01b6a0fa245f77c6d3153fb1c59.gif

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Anyone who would post that in my Twitter feed would get unfollowed so quickly FFS.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Ain’t it a shame that in our system we rarely hear from the winner, and every day we have to listen to the LOSER!

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    I dont know why but I find this kind of funny.

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/government-shutdown-2018-01-20-live-updates-live-stream/

    McConnell asked for unanimous consent to begin consideration of a three-week spending bill — shorter than the four-week spending bill the Senate failed to vote on Friday night — but Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Oregon, rejected that move, continuing the shutdown. McConnell objected to a measure from Sen. Ben Cardin, D-Maryland, to continue paying federal workers during the shutdown. In the House, disagreement became so intense that when Republicans attempted to use a poster of Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer as a prop, Democrats objected and the Senate held a vote on whether Republicans could use the poster.

    • shivaskeeper

      Worlds Greatest Deliberative Body.

      It’s nice that the Dems are starting to use the GOPers tactics. McTurtle and Ryan ensured the rules are what the rules are for short term political gain in the sure knowledge that the Dems would not use they rules against them.

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        The finest legislative body money can buy.

    • Bananas Foster

      House of Reprehensibles.

  • idiotboy

    Everything is stupid. Wife is going out for the night which leaves me exceptionally stupid. The end.

    • Is there a sportsball game on?

      • idiotboy

        No. Only kitty cat drama. Weed and bed.

      • Jonny On Maui

        There is ALWAYS a sportsball game on…

        • Bub the very stable zombie

          There’s sportspuck on.

  • And, now everything is crazy, in that the first Doctor was guarding the Tesseract in 1944

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Ok what the hell is wrong with men? I know I didnt vote for this orange shitstain and know there are quite a few other men on here who didnt either but why is his support going up with men?

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2018/01/20/as-women-march-a-year-after-trumps-election-his-approval-with-some-men-grows/

    Thousands of women across the country marked the anniversary of President Trump’s inauguration at rallies, marches and protests to remind the administration that many women still believe that his vision of a great America does not include them.

    Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), who is often discussed as a potential 2020 presidential candidate, told the crowd, “It is women who are holding our democracy together in these dangerous times.”

    And Emily Patton, a spokeswoman for the march, told The Washington Post:

    “This year, we really want to show support for women who are running for office and to encourage more women, women of color and those in the LGBT community, to run for office, to register to vote, to be more civically engaged.”

    But while Trump is still struggling to win women — a demographic won by his Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton in 2016 — recent approval polls show that men seem to be increasingly on the Trump train.

    Most men — 52 percent — voted for Trump in the presidential election, according to exit polls. Some found his “strong man” image attractive and supported him pushing back against what his supporters call “political correctness” in a cultural climate that is becoming increasingly vocal about the impact of patriarchy.

    • msanthropesmr

      Everybody is exceptionally stupid and we’re all gonna die.

      ETA. I am going to use this as an excuse to eat a phenomenal amount of blackberry chocolate chip ice cream and those Biscoff cookies.

      • CripesAmighty

        Well, look who just caught up.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        There are comments saying women are bad because they used mean words today at the women’s march.

        • CripesAmighty

          Trying to think of another slightly original ‘snowflake’ crack, but fuck it, exhausted.

    • rosenbomb

      Strong man? He’s a doughy chickenshit. Strong man, ffs.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        He is scared to say “you’re fired” unless its on a teevee show.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Someone should tell them that ‘strong man’ is not a good thing in politics.

    • shivaskeeper

      No one gives up power just because they are asked to. His supporters see their unearned, undeserved power and privileged fading. They don not want to compete on anything resembling a level field.

      Plus Trump is a weak man’s idea of what a tough guy is.

      • CripesAmighty

        Thing is, most of these dolts’ “power” is utterly illusory: they’re the dregs; the bottom of the barrel; witless drones who are entirely at the whim of other morons who have managed to eke out a scrap of mobility.

        • amrak63

          And since that power is illusory, they cling to it all the more tightly, because the truth hurts their pwecious widdle egos too much.

        • shivaskeeper

          Part of the problem is they know that. They know it’s true. They know if they ever punch up they run the risk of losing the little that they have. It’s one of the reasons punching down is the only thing they do.

          • nosuchuser

            I’m starting to think we can explain a lot of this behavior as simple displaced aggression.

          • shivaskeeper

            Displaced aggression, yes. Also displaced blame for why they are where they are. It’s never their fault. It’s always the other, but the other is never someone higher up the ladder.

            But also a very real fear that all other things being equal, they may not be as good as they think they are and have been taught they are.

      • amrak63

        And a poor man’s idea of what a rich man is.

    • CripesAmighty

      These are the same people who think “rolling coal” is clever social commentary..

    • Jonny On Maui

      Well, to answer your first question, we don’t listen.

      Or RTFM, take directions, put the seat down…

      I’m sure there’s a list somewhere.

    • amrak63
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Morons. It’s not “people of the male-identified gender” we hate; it’s patriarchy as a system and as a culture. You should hate it too; patriarchy and toxic masculinity is responsible for the stigma against boys and men getting help for depression, because it’s viewed as “weak.” Want to address male suicides? Feminism can help with that. Not MRAs or Reddit/4chan/Voat/etc.

      Or, by all means continue swinging your dicks while the rest of reasonable humanity joins the 21st century and supports equality and plurality that has been denied to so many people for so long. Not to mention, empathy. Be warned, though: the right to swing your dick ends at my nose doesn’t really exist.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Speaking of toxic masculinity did you see my comment last night about tactical diaper bags? Colbert talked about it on his show last night too. But yeah I do hate the whole “you cant talk about your feelings or your week” culture that they try and push on most men.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          I did. Way to train future ammomaniacs in the making also too.

      • CripesAmighty

        If it weren’t for all of the other toxic effects, my inclination would be to say, ‘fuck ’em’ and do anything to help them finish each other off.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          I guess my natural inclination is to try and reason with those who are unreasonable. Product of a dysfunctional environment.

    • Lord Jim

      “The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.”


      Mahatma Gandhi

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I have a Ghandi quote on the back of my jazzmaster.

        “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

        Mahatma Gandhi

        • Lord Jim

          Amen.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      LORAX 2020: SHE’S GOT THIS!!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    She may have a chance of holding on in November after all:

    https://twitter.com/brianschatz/status/954600270926962688

    • gallbladder

      By–you guessed it!–Yertle.

    • Aren’t there enough military families on food stamps already?

      • And they are especially hurt by the payday loan industry, which should be legislated out of existence.

  • CripesAmighty

    Y’all feel like you’re about to blow a gasket? Well, I do. Have found some blood pressure relief by going for walks with this guy and his pals (Harriet, Martin and Lola):
    https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ-X5Ewzt_hKxzhYdKmGCQHXJTCKWB46c

    • gallbladder

      “Mystery walk” as a benefit…I like this guy! One of the most rewarding courses I ever took as part of my degree was environmental psychology which, in part, examines such perspectives.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      The play icon was unfortunately placed. I read “Mystery Wank”.

  • Jennifer R
    • He was a monster who had one shining moment, which would not have succeeded if the Americans hadn’t entered the war and the Nazis hadn’t bogged down in the Soviet Union.

      • amrak63

        Assuming these stories are true, Churchill had the public relations advantage of both the leader of his great enemy, and the leader of one of his great allies, being greater monsters than he was.

      • Jennifer R

        His shining moment doesn’t come close to counterbalancing his awful, if such a concept was even possible.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I am in questionnaire hell. sure, we’re not filling out the ones from the secessionists or the weird MRA group, but there’s still a fuck-ton of them.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Heard about the record-breaking crowds at the Austin march. Well done!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        there were too many white men speaking and/or singing at the city hall portion.

        • msanthropesmr

          As a representative of white men, I apologize.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            I was standing next to a white man city council member. I mean, he’s gay, but that doesn’t really matter. they asked him to talk about SB4 and he was like, “can’t you find someone who is, you know, NOT WHITE to speak about it?”

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        also too: how is it record-breaking if it’s less than half of what we had last year?

    • Resistor Radio

      Oh wow, I’d love to know the questions from the MRA dudes.

      • Have you been cucked by feminizing soy products?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        it’s the group that thinks that judges should be forced to give dual custody. they are weird. I’ve covered the bill they wanted a number of times. most of the guys testifying say that the mothers of the children had to sue them just to get them to take a paternity test and now they want dual custody because their own mothers want to see the grandkids. it’s dumb. it always ends with the legislator who filed the bill withdrawing it and the group sending the legislators death threats.

  • Me not sure

    I was a kid that was intensely home schooled, then I would get up the next morning and get public schooled. Both did me good.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      Well he keeps dumping fuel on the fire…

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    all I wanna do is drink beer and read Evan’s bloog about the other Fusion GPS transcript.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5bec9ae177c0a851da119f6cb3db573feeb3c98bcfed98e2e40d65ef6d552ce8.jpg

    • gallbladder

      LORAX 2020!

    • TJ Barke

      Still no documents from Jenny…

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        have you asked her?

        • TJ Barke

          I’m supposed to ask?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            she may need a reminder and I haven’t seen her in ages given the other campaign stuff.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      LORAX: DON’T DO IT
      WHEN YOU GOT TO GET TO IT
      2020!

    • tehbaddr
      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLOOFSTAR!

  • Picabo
    • Shan

      Remember when they named themselves “teabaggers” but still kept it even after their middle-school aged kids told them (like mine did) what it meant?

    • Meanwhile, the news media covered them as if they formed a mass movement.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Actually, they did form a mass…. “movement.”

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Took days to unclog the pipes.

  • Magnificent Mopery.

    Great article. One note: the phrase is “free rein,” such as you would give a horse. But, Robyn, I can say with authority that in spelling it “reign,” you are in the company of many SVRs (seasoned, veteran reporters) whom I have edited through the decades.

    • wait! what?

      Yes, but this particular homonym can be harnessed for the same effect.

      • Paperless Tiger

        ISWYDT.

      • Magnificent Mopery.

        No, my dear, that is a common misconception, but I like what you did there. Rim shot! Free rein is a loosening of all restriction. Free reign would be, I suppose, a liberated monarchy. To reign is to rule, royally. The two words are quite different and distinct in meaning. They in no way substitute for one another. But don’t feel bad. Yours is the same argument reporters used with me over the 30 years that I edited their copy for the newspapers where I worked.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • msanthropesmr

    TJ fire up your play station 4 and see if the $5 deals is borked for you.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson