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Tom Cotton, he is this shitbrick GOP senator from Arkansas who doesn’t think for himself and lives inside Donald Trump’s asshole, next to last night’s Big Macs. He has ALWAYS been a shit. He was a shit back when President Obama was negotiating the Iran nuclear deal, taking it upon himself to send his own GRRRR letter to Iran about how Obama isn’t even president, therefore Iran should just listen to him, a lowly redneck senator from Arkansas who doesn’t know his muh-fuckin’ place. He is an embarrassment to his home state, which just so happens to be yr Wonkette’s home state too! Indeed, we have heard #ArkansasRumors that, much like Ted Cruz, literally everybody has hated Tom Cotton his entire life, because he is that much of a sniveling shit.

Anyway, the Arkansas Times reports that Senator Snivel Dick has been sending CEASE-AND-DESIST LETTERS to constituents, for the crime of CALLING HIS OFFICE. Hey, here’s one:

This letter is immediate notification that all communication must cease and desist immediately with all offices of US Senator Tom Cotton.

All other contact will be deemed harassment and will be reported to the United States Capitol Police.

The Office of US Senator Tom Cotton.

Crazy, right? And Cotton’s office has confirmed that it does do this in extreme cases, like if it “receives repeated communications that are harassing and vulgar, or any communication that contains a threat.” Well, we definitely don’t want Senator Whiny Ass Titty Baby to get threats! (Seriously, we don’t.)

Let’s see what kind of evil cuss murderer prompted the letter above, because she must have been pretty scary! What did she do, Ozark Indivisible Twitter?

Did she ninja kick him in the peen a bunch while saying “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”?

LOL that sniveling shit Tom Cotton is scared of your Nana.

(He sure has changed since the old days when he was in “Army,” where, as he has told us, he did not drink gay sparkle water, because they didn’t serve it!)

Ozark Indivisible, which is a very persistent and organized and polite protest group, reports that others have gotten these letters too. We are sure they are equally threatening consituents who made Tom Cotton pee his britches just as much as Nana did up there.

(And Wonkette, again, doesn’t support threats, but we wouldn’t be bothered if Ozark Indivisible cut the crap and stood in front of Cotton’s office with signs that say, “WHO YOU THINK YOU WORK FOR, YOU RANCID LITTLE FUCK TROLL?” Would that be “vulgar”?)

The woman who received the letter above commented to Arkansas Times:

It was odd to receive this letter as I’ve called other Members of Congress to express my strong thoughts and opinions about their actions and thought this to be not only my duty as an American citizen but my First Amendment right granted all U.S. citizens by our U.S. Constitution, the foundation of our Democracy. […]

I think they just honestly don’t want to listen to any citizen’s opposing view or hear the numerous grave concerns U.S. citizens have about the serious & ongoing attack on our Democracy and past election cycle in which a foreign, hostile Russian government interfered, they don’t want U.S. citizens to call and speak their mind and truth in a very direct manner and they obviously don’t want to be held accountable for their words and actions while serving all the people in this nation.

She says she may have used “unbecoming language” a time or two, which Cotton should be able to handle since he, again, lives inside Trump’s butt and can presumably hear Trump when he yells “SHITHOLE!” about all the non-white people he and Tom Cotton don’t like very much.

So fucking get over it, Senator Piss Wipe. This is America, and you work for the voters of Arkansas, not Donald Goddamn Fucking Trump.

Wonkette out.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Arkansas Times]

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  • The Wanderer

    Dear Senator Cotton,

    Fuck yourself in your eye sockets, you pencil-necked Glenn Greenwald-looking motherfucker. The best part of you ran down your Mama’s leg after your donkey father raped her anally before they gelded him.

    Hugs and kisses,

    Not An Arkansas Resident.

  • Beelzebubba

    Ah yes – siccing the police on your critics. Where have we seen this before?

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Cotton is the type, in high school, we’d duct take to a poll after we gave him an atomic wedgie………

  • Beelzebubba

    Colbert was is rare form last night:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NeuAFz7NFk

  • icekat

    Your “nana”? In Arkansas? I’m pretty sure it’s your memaw. :)

    • Wackyland Radio Resistor

      Well, I dunno, but your shopping cart is definitely a buggy.

      • kareemachan

        Pop or soda?

        • Wackyland Radio Resistor

          Dr. Pepper

          • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

            For everything, even things that are not Dr. Pepper.

          • Ellie

            I thought everything was Cocola. Wrong State? I’m such a damn Yankee.

        • major_asshole

          Coke. As in:

          “I’ll have a coke.”
          “What kind?”
          “Sprite.”

          (And if Pepsi is mentioned, part of my family believes a reasonable reaction is to rack a shotgun.)

  • With conservatives as with any bully, it’s all about looking tough, not being tough. At the first sign of actual strength, they run like sniveling cowards.

    My nana (God rest her soul) would have fucked this guy up.

  • Michael Smith

    I think whenever Tom Cotton walks into a room, everyone should sing Cotton Eye Joe until he leaves.

    • The Wanderer

      I’d opt for just chanting “Fuck You!” at him.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, the lyrics to that one are easier to remember.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I country danced to Cotton Eye Joe many times (in the 1970s some Austin discos held weekly dance contests where dancers were judged on their expertise on disco dancing and the Cotton Eye Joe) and there’s a stage of the dance where the dancers all yell “Bullshit!” repeatedly. So maybe just that part. Repeatedly.

  • DrBigHead

    Has the coward followed through on any of these, I wonder?

    • Ling Ling

      What kind of threat is it? Call the cops. Fine. Maybe they follow up. Fine. What happens next?

      • Victoria Ricola

        Exactly. What the hell kind of weight does a fake legal garbage letter hold.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          “Your honor, she hurt my feelings when she said she doesnt agree with me. I almost melted.”

      • Lordpnut

        Has anyone looked up his record as prosecutor? Any weak deals.

  • kareemachan

    Ruh-roh, you’re gonna get a cease-and-desist letter in 3… 2… 1….

  • Ling Ling

    When this delicate snowflake runs for re-election, I hope this issue returns.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    I mean, what’s the point of becoming an elected official if you have to listen to the concerns of constituants every day? How is that even fair?!

  • Victoria Ricola

    You’ve got to be kidding me. This motherfucker here.

  • gnomemansanisland

    “..we have heard #ArkansasRumors that, much like Ted Cruz, literally everybody has hated Tom Cotton his entire life, because he is that much of a sniveling shit.”

    The Kochs send only the worst.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I would LOVE to have a chat over a beer or two with the NCOs in his platoon from his Iraq days.

    • willi0000000

      if everybody hates these SOBs . . . who the fuck is voting for them?

      • Seek

        The same Cletus that is interviewed everyday by the NYT?

  • Asterix

    I thought this was a joke when I saw it earlier today.

    What.An.Asshole.

    • LiberalANDProud

      There is no more humor in America as what was humorous is now seriously real.

  • LiberalANDProud

    “We are sure they are equally threatening consituents who made Tom Cotton pee his britches just as much as Nana did up there.”

    And it’s been reported on good authority that Nana will not change him either, so there.

  • puredog

    “WHO YOU THINK YOU WORK FOR, YOU RANCID LITTLE FUCK TROLL?”
    That may, indeed, be vulgar. I’m glad we could have this little chat. Please carry on.

  • Scooby

    He doesn’t see the irony of sending a letter containing his contact information telling someone not to contact him.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Senator Cotton! I’m from Arkansas and I just wanted to ask you a quest………….”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/038f030f6442b8d5c9843cdb41668039a899dc62cadb64152a1d0c1030871c16.gif

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    You know Tom, there is an easy solution. You could resign and go do some other job that doesnt involve serving people.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Maybe it’s actually that Cotton has the amazing ability to tune out uncouth language. Dr. Ronny Jackson could confirm this diagnosis.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “All other contact will be deemed harassment and will be reported to the United States Capitol Police”

    As Teh Founders taught us.

  • cmd resistor

    So there was one staff person who claimed it was just ONE letter and it was because the person called an intern the C word. That doesn’t match up with reports from several people, though. https://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/cotton-office-cease-desist-letters

    • Cat Cafe

      Oh, so the person was using Presidential language!

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        But they didnt use it during “Executive Time”.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Oh goodness, grab the smelling salts! What was that the Trumpanzees love to say?

      Fuck your feelings?

  • Ellie

    I rarely write to my Senators (Schumer and Gillibrand) but I write to my congresscon all the time, and only once was it a favorable letter, and on at least one occasion I suggested that it was too bad there was no morals/ethics requirement for congresscons. Then there was the time I suggested that he tell his business owning buddies in DC to register as 401c3 churches so they could discriminate against people with ladyparts, legally. And then…anyway, I’ve never received a cease and desist. I hope Cotton doesn’t give anyone else any ideas.

    • The Wanderer

      I write to Nelson, whose staff at least replies. Rubio’s staff won’t even give me the courtesy of a “We got it, now fuck off, you worthless prole.”

      • cmd resistor

        I get responses from Rubio now and again, form letters for sure and always, thanks for your views but they suck, politely. I don’t try to get all logical and persuasive as seems like a waste of time, but want at least the fact that there is a person opposed to what he is doing/voting for exists. So if someone is keeping a tally of yes/no then I should appear on it.

  • Belasaurius

    I guarantee he got beat up in elementary and middle school once a week.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Indeed, we have heard #ArkansasRumors that, much like Ted Cruz, literally everybody has hated Tom Cotton his entire life…”

    https://youtu.be/EbTcHpPDCu8

    “…because he is that much of a sniveling shit.”

    No, that’s sniveling git. A sniveling, little rat-faced git.

    https://youtu.be/HtyO4tmpPdk

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    “The right of the people…to petition the Government for a redress of grievances”, unless you use dirty words. Then we can sick the gendarmes on you.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So what you’re saying is that Cotton has no balls?

    • The Wanderer

      Not even balls of cotton.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Just the tips.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        right on Q

    • LiberalANDProud
    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      He obviously doesn’t cotton to listening to his constituents.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      sure he does. Only they’re white, fluffy, and almost weightless. And, obviously, produce no sperm or testosterone.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “She called his office every single day”

    Nonetheless, she persisted. How’d that work out last time asshole?

  • vukojebina_MΩment

    Tom’s office phone? Why do you ask?
    (202) 224-2353

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      The very polite staffer on the line says that people have been threatening and harassing. I asked her to define harassment and she leaned on the “threatening” canard, plus said that people were yelling at the staff. I told her that I hoped that people don’t do that, but that I found this response chilling and that the Senator’s behavior has been very unconstitutional on a number of fronts. Maybe she’ll have to explain this letter to a lot of constituents and non-commenters.

      • SpideySenser

        Has it ever occurred to TC that if maybe he listened to his constituents and was not such a total fucking self serving treasonous dickhead that perhaps these calls would never have happened in the first place? I mean for chrissakes he is NOT doing the job he was sworn to do, what the fuck did he expect? The blame falls directly on himself.

    • Ilgattomorte

      Not any more. Now you just get the “high call volume”, “please leave a message”, automated response

      • “M”

        I guess Ozark Indivisible is going to have to stand outside his office again for another week till he sees them, since he couldn’t be bothered the last time

  • Victoria Ricola

    And they wonder why the memaws are coming to blue wave that ass in November.

    • Cat Cafe

      DO NOT FUCK WITH THE MEMAWS

      • Victoria Ricola

        This is known. It’s like they didn’t have grandmas or something.

        • vukojebina_MΩment

          After the egg hatches, who can keep track?

  • Mavenmaven

    well, isn’t he the little two bit fascist. Two Bit Fascist Tom Cotton has a ring to it.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
  • TundraGrifter

    What a Snowflake! And I’ll bet those letters are sent “franked” – in the upper righthand corner of the envelope a printed signature instead of a USPS stamp.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    World’s Greatest Deliberative Jerkass

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Asshole Senator who learned his first amendment law at some shithole school.

  • Jack’s Stable Shithole

    What a snowflake!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Fuck, this guy is an utter disgrace to the uniform he once wore.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    JFC, when one of my groups met with a staffer for Kamala Harris she fucking encouraged us to call every single day. Fuck Tom Cotton with a chainsaw of votes FFS.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Go nucular with those votes!

  • TundraGrifter

    She should have put her birth certificate in a Baggie and waved it around at Sen. Cotton’s next “townhall” meeting. Then he’d pay attention to her! You betcha!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    My stars and garters, I am certain that Mr. Cotton *never* had harsh words fall on his delicate ear holes during his stint in the Army. No one *ever* told him to un-fuck himself after he fucked up. That’s more of a Marine thing, anyway.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s and Army thing too.

    • gnomemansanisland
    • Blanche de Shambles

      I’ve heard that the Benning phase of Ranger training is now conducted by a bunch of retired ladies in their 60s and 70s. Apparently, they’re fucking terrifying. Poor thing must have PTSD.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    He got a similar letter back from the Foreign Ministry of the Islamic Republic of Iran a couple years back.

    • The Wanderer

      Yes, and it was delicious snark.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Funny how it’s OK for him to pester government officials with dumb letters…

    • shivaskeeper

      No. He got schooled on the Constitution and the way a Representative Republic is governed.

  • shivaskeeper

    He’s an Army vet. A Ranger at that. Even though he was sent home from deployment early, likely for being an insufferable fuckstick, he is still a vet. Foul fucking language should be something this pissant, sniveling shit should be able to handle.

    To top off being an embarrassment to his constituents, the Congress, and the entire Goverment in general, he is now even more of an embarrassment to the Army. Yet another one who failed to understand his sevice oath, and his oath upon taking office. Fucking shitheel.

    • BadKitty904

      My thought would be that he understood his oaths. He just broke them because they were inconvenient and he’s an amoral swine. Just a thought…

      • shivaskeeper

        He didn’t understand them, because he didn’t care to, or he wouldn’t have broken them. Basically he’s a shitbag.

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    When you point out a shitty person’s bad behavior, instead of silently taking it the way they believe you should have to, they go straight to frothing at the mouth. How dare you fail to recognize you’re inherently inferior to me?!

    • BadKitty904

      All the more reason to keep doing it, I’d say.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        My feeling exactly. Not to mention, it usually causes that person to publicly reveal their true character, just like Tom Cotton has done, once again.

  • BadKitty904

    What does she think this is, a free country or sumpin’?!?1?

  • Ryan Denniston
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    LOL that sniveling shit Tom Cotton is scared of your Nana.

    Well, my grandmother was an old-time FDR Democrat (I am proud I inherited her politics!), so yeah…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/05b982832c2e7f8f9283898a2169ec42693e2bfb831ff4a3b505b4f94d848d13.jpg

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Great picture!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      As was my mother, God rest her soul.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ryan Denniston

      Himself.

    • The Wanderer

      Rich motherfuckers.

    • Cat Cafe

      And “the Israeli lobby” is actually a far-right-wing group

      • The Wanderer

        Apartheid advocates.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Yeah let’s not imply stuff like Israeli=bad, especially an Israel that is under a similarly authoritarian right-wing government like ourselves.

        I think the Wanderer has the right labeling.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Don’t worry, I am letting both of them borrow my Jew card. It’s all kosher =P

    • BadKitty904

      He represents Tom Cotton. And no one else.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      The people*

      *certain people in particular

    • Shibusa

      Raking in almost a million bucks from the Israel lobby helps explain why he’s so keen to start a war with Iran. $5 mil from the Kochs explains all the rest of the douchebaggery.

  • laineypc

    Thank you Nana!

  • RobKanC

    Lol. Snowflakes. Can’t take criticism but makes fun of ppl trying to make a difference.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Senator Snowflake must think his constituents are the Iranians_sending them warnings!?
    derp…derp…derp

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DT2XH4UVQAAwhhm.jpg

  • BadKitty904

    What a cowardly asshole.

  • vukojebina_MΩment
    • Parakeetist

      Thank u Dr. Tinycat

      • Invisible Bunyip

        That little cuddlefluffball is a good doctor. I feel better already.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Pisto75666

    I guess Trump DID hire the best people, if the best people had outstanding warrants for them in Hungary that is. https://www.buzzfeed.com/hayesbrown/hungarian-warrant-for-sebastian-gorka?utm_term=.ur3ynY1VR#.iapoXk9AL

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      To the Goulash Gulag with the köcsög.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Is extradition a possibility?

      • Pisto75666

        I’m not sure. I read the article again but it didn’t say anything about extradition.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Hello. This is Senator Tom Cotton’s office….

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DT1sF1WUMAIrwcV.jpg

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      I love that and just had to add it to my meme collection.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      I need a wah burger and some French cries, stat!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Tom Cotten is a horrible person.

    • BadKitty904

      See previous non-comment, in re: “cowardly asshole“.

  • Khavrinen

    “communications that are harassing and vulgar, or any communication that contains a threat.”

    What, did she “threaten” to vote for somebody else if her complaints weren’t heard? The fiend!!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      You just know that’s how they’re defining “threats”

      • cmd resistor

        Or, if you don’t do something I will keep WRITING you.

  • Jenny
  • Bill D. Burger

    Hey! Tom Cotton! Do you know where your constituents are?

    https://mattsko.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/norman-bates-1.gif

  • BadKitty904

    Cotton couldn’t hide from enraged constituents on the roof of his office like Darrell Issa? Wtf, Tom, ya pantywaist?

  • Victoria Ricola
    • Bill D. Burger

      “Oh___The huge manatee’!”

      (Had to be said.)

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • BadKitty904

      Now let’s see him try to cross a bridge in NJ…

    • gnomemansanisland

      Definite security threat – planes can only carry so much weight.

    • Crank Tango

      Hahahaha take your belt off, ashole.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Also too, your shoes. For some reason I find that the most annoying part. It’s just…. really? I have to walk around in my stocking feet? Ugh!

        • Skeptical_thinker

          When they arrested the underwear bomber I was hoping convinced we would have to fly naked.

          • Historicat

            “Welcome to the New and Improved Airline Industry – please place your clothes in one of the lockers to the left ($5/day rental fee), and put on this adult diaper ($3.50) and paper smock ($8.00).

            No, you cannot ‘bring your own diaper and smock’ – don’t you remember 9/11?”

          • arensb

            Don’t we at least get a choice of smocking or non-smocking?

          • Historicat

            Choice costs extra!

          • Thorn Spike

            Well played, Madam/Sir.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I always freeball when I fly, just in case.

        • Roadstergal

          I want a video of Christie taking off his shoes in a security line.

          Also, too, Trump and his svelte 239-lb frame.

      • Paul

        I regret that I have but one upvote to give for this comment.

    • Arolpin

      This makes me smile. Now I just need Governor Murphy to help get a new contract for my wife’s school district, so she can get the steps she has EARNED and accept her 25% pay increase. (She’s only been frozen for 2 years, before the last contract some people hadn’t had a single penny pay increase for 5 years, and you can guess how much back-pay they received, yep, $0.)

      • kareemachan

        We had that problem in our school district (well, not as awful as your wife’s) and the administration voted themselves a nice little pay raise but nothing for the teachers or other workers.

        Until they brought in the top union lawyer for the state. Caught the suckers unawares….

        • Rags
        • Arolpin

          Her district is one of the handful where the state had to step in to run it, but it’s finally reverting to local control. They do have a strong union now, which is why they were able to get a contract last time, but Christie refused to negotiate this time, and the union was fine with that, because Murphy got a lot of backing from labor, the community really wants to keep the district improving., and they believe they can get a much better contract this year.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted
    • Nounverb911
    • Nounverb911

      He can always apply for TSA pre-screen…

    • SayItWithWookies

      Christie probably thought he got to use the VIP line because everyone liked him. If he was the twelve-year-old asshole he keeps pretending to be, I’d feel bad for him and hope he learns something. But since he’s an adult, I’ll just laugh.

  • lowenufc

    Tom Cotton: Southern for Sniveling Little Ninny Britches.

  • reelreeler
  • Jonny On Maui

    Any chance this article has been pushed to all his social media?

  • BadKitty904

    This reminds me that isn’t it about time that the Republicans had another series of town-halls across the 50 states? I mean, seeing how well the last series went.

  • bbayliss

    Hey, where’s my letter? I’ve been emailing him pretty regularly for a while now. Maybe he considers “pencil necked little dick” a compliment?

  • Parakeetist

    What a chickenshit.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cotton’s office number: (202) 224-2353

    • Eileen Besse

      THANK YOU!!!

    • Crank Tango

      I’ll be sure to send him some big faxes. ETA of like votes or something.

      • Eileen Besse

        Maybe his fax has that outdated roll of paper–we can only hope….

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    O/T… emphasis mine

    Company loses two Milwaukee contracts after its employees displayed guns, KKK sticker

    A company where several employees displayed guns and another brought a Ku Klux Klan sticker to a worksite will effectively lose two contracts worth $800,000 with the City of Milwaukee under a deal approved Wednesday by the Milwaukee Common Council.

    Under the resolution, which passed unanimously, the city will terminate one American Sewer Services contract and reject another bid on an un-awarded contract where the company was the lowest bidder. The agreement also prohibits American Sewer Services from rebidding on either of the contracts, and says the company won’t contest any part of the deal.

    The Milwaukee Common Council may also push for harsher penalties for American Sewer Services. Those punishments could include compelling its owner, Dennis Biondich, to testify before aldermen.

    Debate over the issue grew heated during a previous Public Works Committee meeting at City Hall — especially after two south side aldermen voiced concern that city officials were punishing the company too severely for the actions of a few employees — but the resolution passed without discussion Wednesday.

    American Sewer Services… living up to it’s name.

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The Southside of Milwaukee will rise again.

    • shivaskeeper

      Sorry, not sorry. The company is responsible for what it’s employees disokaycand do at work. The management could have fixed this. They didn’t. Too bad.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        It took me a few seconds to parse “disokaycand” = “display and”.
        A true typographical error, i.e. fingers hitting neighboring keys instead of those intended.

        • shivaskeeper

          Thank you. Fixed. The phone does some bizarre shit sometimes.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Tucking Felephones.
            The autocorrect has a mind of its own.

          • shivaskeeper

            At least it could have autocorrected to a fucking word. Not some random gibberish.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      What was that company again?

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        ASS

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Stupid lackwits- the reason your company was low bidder was because you toothless bigots also hate unions, so your boss doesn’t pay you as much as your shit shit shoveling buddies make at other companies with organized labor.

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        I’m curious as to how many other contracts this shithead will lose due to this story. I’m hoping AOT,K.

    • Roadstergal

      Drain the sewer!

    • Shibusa

      When I lived in San Diego, a dry wall repair guy showed up with all his tools, wearing a “Buck Ofama” t-shirt. I sent him away.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      American Sewer Services (ASS) owned by a guy named Bionic Dick. You just can’t make this shit up.
      Where is Sheriff Clarke when you need him?

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        Under investigation by the FBI and Milwaukee County.

      • kareemachan

        Huh. I can’t find a website for them. Taken down?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    What a shit house.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/noonanjo/status/954088661364232192
    …..Am I wrong for not buying this?

    • BadKitty904

      Evidence of any of this?

      • Ninja0980

        None other then his word, which isn’t much IMO.

        • BadKitty904

          So, fuck that noise, then.

        • cmd resistor

          What, you don’t trust someone who would work for that nice guy Tom Cotton?

      • shivaskeeper

        He said so. What more do you need? You and your citations needed. What are, some kind if hippy liberal or something?

        • BadKitty904

          Mama’s a librarian, Granny was a school principal. Unless you can cite your sources, it’s fiction.

          • shivaskeeper

            Mama was not a librarian, etc… But I prefer to deal with objective reality. Valid cites are a must.

            But you didn’t answer the question. Are you some kind of squishy liberal or something?

          • BadKitty904

            More of a scrawny, stringy liberal, actually. Little body fat.

          • mohave rocky

            I was a librarian and a lawyer. Proud of one but not the other.
            On the other hand I was the editor on the law review whose job it was to check quotes and cites and that was at least good training;.

          • BadKitty904

            See?

    • cmd resistor

      Ozark Indivisible on twitter said the constituent who got the letter they posted didn’t call anyone a c-word. Arkansas Times had heard from more than one person who got a letter.

    • shivaskeeper

      Lying liars who lie. Film at 11.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Nope.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’m a woman in her 60’s and I never use the C word. Never. I did not grow up with that word, I never heard it or knew what it meant until I was 20, and women of my generation find it offensive, so I’m as sure as I can be without solid proof that she did not use that word.

      • Nasty Woman Persisted

        I am 50 and it is the same. When I hear youngers use it, I cringe!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      URTHER UPDATE: Noonan is now backing off his initial Tweeting. From his Twitter account:
      update: tone was threatening, no threats made. But c-word invoked.

      • efoveks

        So what if the c-word was invoked? It isn’t a threat, and even as an insult it lacks anything other than opinion. This is childish if not perplexing.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It went from “threats and harassment” to tone policing and a swear word. It went from one letter to letters to an unspecified number of people- they’re lying…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        also too

        A spokesperson for Sen. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., said Thursday that cease and desist letters sent to an unspecified number of individuals in October were sent because staffers were being harassed and have nothing to do with activists who have been protesting outside the senator’s office this week or payback for constituents simply voicing opposing views.

        LETTERS- UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS- looks like John Noonan, counselor to Cotton on military and defense affairs, is a fucking liar

        • just_jim

          Wait! A Republican politician lying? This is my shocked face.

    • efoveks

      Points 1-4 are irrelevant of anything. Did this stupid fuck actually make it through law school?

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Coward? Conservative?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Corrupt? Complicit?

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Confederate!

    • shastakoala

      If true, calling Cotton a poopyhead would have been more accurate.

    • Mary Stone

      No, you are not wrong. You are someone with functioning eyes attached to a functioning, reasoning brain.

    • kareemachan

      Yes, most likely. And btw, cunt is protected speech under the 1st Amendment, not a reason to threaten with arrest.

      Oh you’ve changed your tune. Gee… you mean you were WRONG?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Found a more fulsome accounting of Cottons Office Numbers and email:
    (*I wouldn’t want you to miss him and I know he’d like to hear from you.)

    DC- 202-224-2353

    Little Rock- 501-223-9081

    El Dorado- 870-864-8582

    Jonesboro- 870-933-6223

    Springdale- 479-751-0879

    If you want to send him an email message through his US Senate Homepage, here is that address:

    https://www.cotton.senate.gov

    • BadKitty904

      I first read that fourth entry as “Jonestown”. I’m still not sure I was incorrect.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    OT but I just read this and I’m so sickened I can’t stand it.
    13 captive siblings forced to shower once a year, strangled, subject to frequent beatings
    https://www.yahoo.com/gma/parents-accused-holding-13-children-captive-appear-court-171008421–abc-news-topstories.html

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      It’s okay (not at all). They had good xtian parents that used the bible to justify their horrific behavior.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They must be using a different translation of the Bible than any I have read.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          IK,R? It’s pretty sickening, really.

        • just_jim

          But it’s Sharia law that we need to be worried about./s

    • janecita

      I’m sorry but some people deserve the death penalty. I’m a tree hugging, bleeding heart liberal, but I would personally electrocute every single child abuser out there.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I veer slightly towards the “An eye for an eye” approach. Chain them up and starve them and beat them for a few years, THEN electrocute them, and I volunteer to push the button. They won’t live long in any prison environment, that’s for sure.

      • anon_the_great

        Every child abuser was once an abuse child. It’s not something they make up. They learned it.

        • janecita

          That doesn’t excuse the abuse.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          That is true 99% of the time. But a few of them are mentally ill or sociopaths.

        • James

          Not true in either direction. Sociopathy is not a learned behaviour.

          (Waits for the “pre-crime” division to cart me off to jail over my former abuse as a child.)

          • I was abused as a child yet somehow managed to raise a child to adulthood without abusing her.

    • SayItWithWookies

      That freak show is just one conversation with Jesus away from the Duggar shit, which is perfectly normal according to lots of Americans out there.

    • anon_the_great

      Pentecosts.
      Any questions?

    • kareemachan

      His hair is a CRIME in itself. Gack! I hope his mama’s proud of her little boy. I would have cut off all contact with him and told him to fuck off instead of finding him a lawyer. Of course, I would have been in touch with my grandchildren as well. One wonders about her (and his father if he’s still around – articles have only mentioned the mother) BIGLY.

  • janecita

    I thought that liberals were the “snowflakes,” that needed their “safe space!”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    He was in the army? And is uncomfortable enough with vulgar language to call the police on grandmas? What army was he fucking in? In the unit I was in “fuck” was a rank, as in “The fucking L.T. wants us to do some dumb fucking thing. Fuck him.” And calling the police on a soldier’s grandma would earn a serious “discussion”. Tom fucking Cotton needs to get unelected.

  • shastakoala

    Maybe she should have signed her letters, Yours in Christ with Votes.

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    Tom Cotton looks like the kid who got stuffed in his locker regularly in high school, and no doubt was the recipient of swirlies in junior high. This is his revenge upon the world. SAD!

    • Mary Stone

      Think of all the traumatized toilets that have had his feces-impacted cranium stuffed into them without their consent. Yuckity yuck yuck yuck.

  • Mark A Dresslar
    • TimResistit

      Washington, D.C. Office:
      Phone: 202-224-2353

      Little Rock:
      Phone: 501-223-9081

      Springdale Office:
      Phone: 479-751-0879

      El Dorado Office:
      Phone: 870-864-8582

      Jonesboro Office:
      Phone: 870-933-6223

  • Rasilom

    OK Wonkers here is your assignment. You all need to contact Cottens office and tell him he is a douche bag. MANY MANY times. First one to get a cease and decist letter wins! Lets all make him pay his lawyer bigly!

    • Marsupial99

      Sadly, I’m sure that we’re the ones who will be paying his lawyer.

    • mohave rocky

      I just politely (please sir) emailed a request for a c&d letter suitable for framing.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I still cherish the response of Iran’s Foreign Minister to Cotton’s stupid letter stunt. He was like “LOL, shut up and sit down, pencilneck.”

    • BadKitty904

      That was back when the U.S. had a State Department.

  • I’ve read Cotton’s name associated with a future cabinet position, CIA Director maybe (?), if Pompeo can be moved to replace Sessions as AG.

    • BadKitty904

      Yup. Very similar to handing a loaded pistol to a monkey.

    • just_jim

      Secretary of Snowflakes.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Dr. Caligari’s?

  • TimResistit

    Senator Cotton’s offices:

    Washington, D.C. Office:
    Phone: 202-224-2353

    Little Rock:
    Phone: 501-223-9081

    Springdale Office:
    Phone: 479-751-0879

    El Dorado Office:
    Phone: 870-864-8582

    Jonesboro Office:
    Phone: 870-933-6223

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Damn. That’s activism. I hope they shame at least a few into better voting patterns.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Cotton wants people who think he’s a rolling-boil fascist to stop because it makes his staffers break out into giggles anytime he says “My constituent mail is coming in 20-1 in favor of my stance on handgun giveaways in sanctuary cities.”

  • bbayliss

    Cotton, Tom – (R – AR) Class II
    124 Russell Senate Office Building Washington DC 20510
    (202) 224-2353
    Contact: http://www.cotton.senate.gov/?p=contact

    • Jeff Ackerman

      We should call and ask, “how can I get one of those cease and desist letters to frame and hang on the wall next to my boy/girl scout merit badges.”

    • BadKitty904

      Ask them if they’ve got Prince Albert in a can.

      • Roadstergal

        “Is your refrigerator running?”

        “Good, it’ll get more votes than Tom.”

  • harryr

    And they call US snowflakes …

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I don’t cotton to this guy……

    • weejee

      Me neither, he’s a weevil.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Not even the lesser of two weevils

    • Vel Venturi

      He’s got no bolls.

  • anon_the_great

    Yannow, I’d drink a beer and shoot some pool with Tom but he really sucks a the politic thing.

  • Something tells me that while Tom Cotton may not have been familiar with our beloved Wonkettes when he woke up this morning, he will be quite familiar with Wonkettes when he wakes up tomorrow morning.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      ‘Em is fabbooo!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    So, the former tough guy has grown a pair of Cotton balls since going to Washington.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cottonballs’ campaigned on being a real Murriccan’ and a real tough guy. Combat veteran and hard ass..the whole bit.
    Alas….he’s so fragile and out of touch he seems to think that Big Gummit’ check he gets was supposed to be for a warm and fuzzy job where you’re only praised and adored. You have to be nice to him or he’ll send you a nasty-gram. That’s who he really is. That’s what Arkansas got. He’s not the gun toting bad ass he pretended to be but a snowflake who’ll “call the cops” on you.

    http://cdn1-www.craveonline.com/assets/uploads/2017/07/gif.gif

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    A little accuracy in reporting, please, Evan.

    Tom Cotton doesn’t live inside Donald Trump’s asshole. He lives inside Charles Koch’s asshole.

    Get it right.

  • OrG

    I have a feeling this gambit might backfire on cottontail.

    • efoveks

      Even the army couldn’t toughen this self-righteous busybody snowflake.

    • anon_the_great

      You ignore your opposition, not give it good excuse.

      “Fuckin dipshit” Niccolo shouts from the Beyond

  • Gosala

    Evan, um sorry, no. I work for my donors. Voters are just a means to that end.

    Tom Cotton Weevil

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/kkondik/status/954040514155827204
    O/T but slowly but surely, Republicans are making some gains back and I’m sure the PR from companies and the crumbs we’ll get the first year from the tax break will help.
    We’ll still get our blue wave but polls like this are needed IMO to ensure our side takes nothing for granted.

    • TimResistit

      Nationally: “Currently, the Democratic Party has a wide advantage in voting
      intentions: Among registered voters, 53% say they will vote for or lean
      toward the Democratic Party’s candidate for Congress in their district,
      compared with 39% who say they would vote for or lean toward the
      Republican Party’s candidate.”

      http://www.people-press.org/2018/01/18/2-the-2018-congressional-elections/

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    He forgot “PS: I am notA cRank”

  • TimResistit

    I remember when Shrill O’Rly was getting on air “harassing” (and hilarious) prank calls on his show and threatened to report the callers to “Fox Security”. Which had the effect of increasing calls and also asking to talk to the commandant of “Fox Security”.

  • bbayliss
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Didnt Pelosi already release it?

      • bbayliss

        Feinstein; Senate

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Oh right. Thanks.

    • Nounverb911

      Page not found.

  • BadKitty904

    Not remotely OT: For them of you as what wanna go “classical,” the Latin for “Fuck that noise” is “Puer autem sonitus”.

  • jodyleek

    OT: Stormy Daniels has said she spanked The Dotard’s giant bum with a Forbes magazine. God, I hope there is no film at 11.

    • cmd resistor

      TMI.

    • BadKitty904

      Forbes issues a large-print edition?

      • Nounverb911

        Coloring book.

    • ManchuCandidate

      The Forbes 239

    • TimResistit

      So, that’s why it’s called the “Capitalist’s Tool”.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Oh HELL no these assholes are not going to ruin spanking for me. BRB though… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a0c0ac838f574d2c2c1258440c09eecb4be8bf3f30322acf4ab02202f503b10.gif

    • Red Richmond

      Amazing she didn’t lose a hand to toxic shock syndrome being that close to shithole prime.

    • Billy Wigglestaff

      The film appears at about 2 1/2.

  • cmd resistor

    His people also seem to claim that letter(s), if any, went out in October, which really makes no sense. Also, too, yesterday some DACA protesters were asked to leave his DC office or get arrested, so they left.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The name escapes me, but there use to be a Dem senator from Ohio (in the 60s I think) who would return critical mail with the note: “I just wanted you to know that some idiot is sending out this stuff and using your name.” ____ Any constituent who receives a note from Cotton should do the same and send it back to him.

  • Mary Stone

    Not a constituent (of course), but I left this rude, threatening, intimidating, swear-y comment on Senator Tough Guy’s post explaining why the bipartisan agreement on immigration needed killin’ because freedumb and eagles or something:

    Mary Stone
    Mary Stone I heard about the really lovely note that you send your constituents when they have the temerity to address you with their concerns over republican policies in general, and the specific, hate-motivated policy of the Trump administration (like the above nonsense) in particular.

    I would DEARLY love to receive a “cease and desist” letter of my very own, to frame and hang on my wall, so that I can admire it in the future.

    Also too: your political career will die in the garbage fire that is the Trump administration.

    You have been warned.

    I SO hope i get a “cease and desist” letter.

  • cmd resistor

    Huh, now that I look at it, that letter IS dated October. Wonder if they are sending out recent ones with old dates?

  • bbayliss

    From Fusion GPS transcript released today:
    MR. GOWDY: All right. Let me ask you about a couple words you just
    used. You just used the words “good” and “bad,” which some would argue are
    inherently subjective; but you also used the word “facts,” and what did you mean
    when you used the word “facts”?
    Jesus christ read this!
    http://docs.house.gov/meetings/IG/IG00/20180118/106796/HMTG-115-IG00-Transcript-20180118.pdf

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Aw, be nice. He might have been attacked by a loose seal when he was in “Army”. We don’t stoop to making fun of ptsd sufferers around here. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1056601353da2e97cab4f48d3469d9a230ca6a32bc428f100c985d15d6d5eaeb.gif

  • John McLaughlin

    The thing with Tom is that he is sick of the stupid people in Arkansas…he prefers DC and Harvard, and the exclusive clubs with their fancy dinners and access to the Birther King Trump. Tom outgrew his home state and doesn’t want to associate with those low class people NO MORE.

  • Nounverb911

    YO Hungarian Police! You can find him hiding over at Fox News…

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/954076700064743431

    • PlutoAnimus

      The U.S. has an extradition pact with Hungary.

      The moment a Democrat becomes president, Gorka will be grabbed and extradited.

      Tee hee.

    • Dg Hacket

      Extradite!

    • irishdave3

      Has anybody seen his “papers”?

  • Sakonyachen

    So first it was mercs, and now it’s former Army that can’t keep pace with a common Hillary Clinton. They just get so exhausted and faint form the stress of being questioned about a thing, by Nana none the less.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Profiles in Pussiness.

    • James

      Nope. Neither warm nor deep.

  • Laffing Crow

    Interesting letter. Addressed to no one and everyone.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    If there was an ACTUAL threat, one would contact either the police of the FBI, right?

  • Ducksworthy

    Here’s hoping Sniveling Pisswipe attains the status of 2018’s Santorum.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Asshole Treasonmongerer should have his franking privilege revoked, stat.

  • thixotropic jerk

    Tom Cotton: chickenshitholetreasonoustaintlicker. SEE ALSO: Geekazoidal dickless liar of weak fiber, moral and otherwise.

  • Bitter Scribe

    He doesn’t like it when people get all righteous about “U.S. Citizens” and “U.S. Constitution” and “Democracy”? Gee, he seems to have no problem with that stuff when it’s the Teatards doing it.

    • mohave rocky

      Please no “tards”

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        Hear, hear!

  • James

    I see Senator Cotton is taking lessons from my own representative who says he only represents Republicans.

  • leota2

    What a whiney effing coward. When I look at him I want to force him into
    the sun then throw antiseptic on him ’cause he is so sleazy.

  • I’m pretty sure the reason he left the military is that he was told “Look, you’re going to die if you stay in, and not from enemy fire.”

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • James

      Coin-operated conservative would be a good name for a punk group.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Here’s the weirder part: I have it on good authority that Tom Cotton thinks he can be President some day.

    • amrak63

      Hell, why shouldn’t he think he has a shot? Look who’s Prez now.

      • irishdave3

        Who is presidentin now…just askin? Some guy said it was The Don, Son of F Christ Drumpf but who would believe that…and shit.

  • lucidamente

    She’ll soon be getting a call from Fox security.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Snowflakes.

  • lucidamente

    I thought all his constituents had to sign non-disclosure agreements.

  • La forza del resistino

    I have a nephew Senator that needs a job. As a teen he can operate a phone and otherwise doesn’t listen to a thing either.

  • Squeegee

    Tom Cotton is obsessed with social issues and foreign affairs without any interest in addressing issues facing his state which is one of the poorest in the country.
    Paid for by the Koch brothers.

  • Bigby

    “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to MOTHER FUCKING PETITION THE GOVERNMENT FOR A REDRESS OF GRIEVANCES, MOTHERFUCKER”

    Did you have your thumb up your ass while you were SWEARING AN OATH TO DEFEND THAT, Senator Norman Bates Jr?

  • TJ Barke

    Tom Cotton’s hillbilly trash.

    • just_jim

      Hilbilly Trash Libelz!!1!!

  • amrak63

    The Arkanshire is also my home state, and I live there still.

    All I can say about Niedermeyer Cotton is “Don’t blame me; I voted for the Democrat.”

  • cheetojeebus

    While I see her point and feel it mightly, perhaps she could be a little less wordy. I suggest for example, “Tom “I’m a human suppository” Cotton is a douche dribble. That is all.”

  • Shibusa

    So Senator101st Airborne Division Infantry Guy is scared of a Grandma phoning his office and occasionally using “unbecoming language”?

    • FamilyThalamus,Stable Genius

      What a soft and weak, little bawbag.

  • amrak63

    When Ol’ Sniveling Piss Wipe was running for his current seat back in 2014, his ads emphasized his military service.

    By “emphasized”, I mean “ran it into the ground and out the other side of the planet in China or wherever”.

    It was then that I began to think of him as “Niedermeyer”.

  • Me not sure

    If you don’t like it just throw it in the fucking trash can, Snowflake.

    “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and TO PETITION THE GOVERNMENT FOR REDRESS OF GRIEVENCES.”

    “Not the c word, not he c word, you’re the c word!”

  • amrak63
  • Mike Minden

    If I write to Cottonmouth under the color of practicing my religion, will Trumpy’s new office for the protection of entitled, self-rightous snowflakes protect me?

  • Hemp Dogbane

    How else can Senators be protected from run-on sentences?

  • chronozoan

    Proving Yet Again That Not Only Are All Bullies Cowards At Heart They’re Crybabies As Well

  • John Lo

    Senator Tom Cotton, AKA “Trump Ass Eater,” will beg for repeated bites from the Ronald shit sandwich while calling the police on granny.
    That’s GOP courage for ya.

  • JMP

    What is with so many southerners acting like non-offensive “vulgar” language like ‘fuck’ is somehow an issue, when every person in America uses such language everyday? The pose at being a Victorian prude is actually unbecoming. And you know these are the same type of people who use actually offensive words like the N-word and the homophobic F-word all the time.

  • Treg Brown

    “It was odd to receive this letter as I’ve called other Members of Congress to express my strong thoughts and opinions about their actions and thought this to be not only my duty as an American citizen but my First Amendment right granted all U.S. citizens by our U.S. Constitution, the foundation of our Democracy. […]”

    Not all heroes wear capes, although a shawl is a kind of cape right?

  • No, that sign would not be vulgar, not when used for Rotten Cotton.

  • Squeegee

    Tom Cotton’s head looks like a deer tick before it has fully engorged itself on your blood which is pretty much his role working on behalf of the Waltons and Koch Brothers as their representatives in the Senate.

    • rocktonsam

      Cotton is a cunt.

      • FamilyThalamus,Stable Genius

        Ok, too far. Cunt libelz,

        Sincerely,
        Owner of One

  • Tetman Callis

    I must be needing a new pair of glasses, I can’t make out the signature on that letter. Let’s see, it’s from Tom Cotton. Hey, I hear he wants to be a United States Senator. I wish him the best of luck.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Evan,
    Please take no offense, but I thought you were from the Gulf Coast.

    Mrs. Whodat and I spent part of our Honeymoon in Hot Springs.

    • amrak63

      I was born in Smoldering Mattress, Arkansas.

      (It’s right above Hot Springs.)

  • so, wait, the employee sends his boss a cease and desist letter for calling him on his office phone every day?

    sure, why not.

  • JLaw

    What’s wrong with a little tough language?

    • LadyLaz

      Jees, I thought that is why they all like trump. He’s so not pc.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        It’s all about which way the language is pointed.

  • Miles Monroe

    Not an attorney, but how is that in any way legally binding if it isn’t addressed to the recipient by name?! Are they just sending out form letters by bulk mail?

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      To the “D” side of the voter rolls

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Anyone can call the cops anytime. The threat to do that is just that threat. Whether the cops act, or prosecutors, is a different question. At root, it’s voter intimidation. Or, a fascism pig with a little lipstick.

  • lroom

    This piece of garbage is a fucking traitor after that cute little letter of his. Traitor Tom Cotton will always and forever be his name to me.

    • James

      Tehran Tom to me.

  • JuliaC7

    Okay, so if everybody in Arkansas hates and has always hated Cotton, then why the freak did y’all elect him?? Huh?? How about voting him out next time?

    • irishdave3

      Spite…and the entertainment value alone is well worth their “votes”?

  • Delu

    best reply that one can give to Tom Cotton’s letters:

    https://i.imgur.com/mDpQM31.png

    • The reason for that letter was that apparently, some dipshit that went to a Cleveland Browns game had his enjoyment lessened by the exuberance of the other attendees. So he threatened legal action against the Stadium unless they did something to stop people from having fun at a game.

      • LadyLaz

        And that dipshit was an attorney…. of course

    • Petunia Cat

      Perfection! 😂

    • LadyLaz

      God I love that letter

  • Portia McGonagal

    I’m sure he never heard salty language while he was Rambo-ing in the military. What a precious snowflake.

  • Jon Sussex

    OK, so the constituent is not to communicate with the Office of U.S. Senator Tom Cotton but what about the agent, the settler, or the person Tom Cotton?

    • kareemachan

      I like the way you think!

  • Blackest Noobs

    Nana is probably white and she gets it.
    do something. keep doing something.
    Nana knows.

  • Blackest Noobs

    this Cotton guy writes letters like it’s still the 18th century.
    no wonder this dumbfuck is a dumbfuck.
    i mean…really…this chicken shit is up for CIA director?!?

  • kareemachan

    I have a nice variety of Japanese sumo wrestler postcards, as well as some from a Honen Matsuri….. maybe he’d like those better than dull old letters?

  • leslie

    how does someone like this get elected…he looks like a bad version of alfalfa.from our gang…..

    • Petunia Cat

      He certainly has a strange looking head. Maybe it’s the complete lack of chin. It’s like his neck is some kind of hideous pseudopodia with face-like folds and strange tufted material on it. 🤔

  • dshwa

    I too would like a letter, so I can frame it after this twerp goes down. Do I have to live in Arkansas to earn one?

  • Maybe

    I’m sure that Cotton’s stern email will discourage any truly deranged, violent, determined person who was thinking of attacking him.

  • Petunia Cat

    Just imagine the complaint he would make to the Capitol police. And with the Capitol police would do with it. 🕳

    • leslie

      i loved you response about pseudopdia…what pray tell are they /it…i m trying not to imagine….who votes for someone like this v strange looking man….like a replicant….something….

  • Poly_Ester

    Why can’t Pius Pete Roskam (R-illinoise) send out letters like that? We could really have fun ther!

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    Cotton is such a pencil-neck geek (autocorrect wanted to change my failed attempt at typing “pencil” to “penis” and for once it was right).

    • Shibusa

      I saw a woman on a train in NYC wearing a t-shirt that said, “Life is short and so is your penis.”

      • Most Stable Land Shark

        Gotta luv the NY subways …

  • Shibusa
    • Dude these should be on everyone’s wall

    • HooverVilles

      Hmmm. Some words come to mind. Snowflake. Triggered.

  • mailman27

    Pencil-neck hump.

    • FamilyThalamus,Stable Genius

      Pencil- neck, indeed.

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      With a retractable eraser head.

  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    What address should we not send letters to? Just in case…

  • I so hope this Barbara Streisands on him.

  • middleclassman1

    They don’t want to listen to anyone who doesn’t have a bag stuffed with money for them that’s the problem!

  • Lucifer999

    Cotton is SNL’s church lady – post-op. Seriously, close your eyes and listen when you hear him speak and tell me that isn’t the Church Lady.

    • SKruetheratbassedarDs

      Well, so who do you s’pose put li’l Tom up to all these shananegins of his? I wonder who it could be . . . .

  • Spurning Beer

    “The First Amendment consists of five “freedoms,” which are: Religion, Free Speech, Free Press, Assembly, and Petition. The Petition section of the first amendment, also commonly referred to as the Petition Clause, states that “People have the right to appeal to government in favor of or against policies that affect them or in which they feel strongly.”

    • HooverVilles

      Shhhhhh! Don’t tell the public that!

  • JCfromNC

    Much like these people that don’t want to do some aspect of their job because it violates their (supposedly) sincerely held religious beliefs, if Tom Cotton doesn’t want to talk to his constituents, maybe he should find another fucking job.

  • DZ

    Evan, it has been too long since I heard someone say “titty baby”. Thank you for being Southern.

  • bettycat

    Gosh I sure hope everyone who reads this doesn’t give Tom a call tomorrow. It might really jam up his switchboard.

    • Conor Gladstone

      I wonder what jam up one’s switchboard feels like.

      • Opiwan

        Only one person would DARE jam me with raspberry! Lone Star!

  • rg9rts

    what a worm..

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Annelid Union on line 1 for you…

  • FamilyThalamus,Stable Genius

    This is so nauseating. And worse, there are so many like him… openly courting dreams of a fascist state while fantasizing about therein being a VIF ( very important fascist). Fuck.

  • Rags

    Hmm….open Photoshop…..grab photo of Christie lying on the beach….paste into line at TSA….nah, too much work.

  • Thorn Spike

    That’s not how it works, Pencilneck.

  • chazmanr

    She says she may have used
    “unbecoming language” a time or two, which Cotton should be able to
    handle since he, again, lives inside Trump’s butt and can presumably
    hear Trump when he yells “SHITHOLE!” about all the non-white people he
    and Tom Cotton don’t like very much.

    He was in the Army. His drill sargent during basic almost certainly called him things that would make even the shitgibbon blush. Snowflake.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    He’s also a sniveling snot bubble.

  • Look, he was in the Army, and I’m an unemployed musician, but I’m really sure that I could break him in half, possibly even by accident….

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      But wait….isn’t that a job for Michael Grimm?

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Poor little Snowflake Tom… I’m sure he’ll be just as concerned with democracy when he’s CIA Director.

    *hork*

  • Rick Gardner

    He’s the Greta Garbo of politics and he wants to be Let alone.

  • goingohm

    Cotton should just be glad one of the constitutional requirements for senator isn’t having a head. The man’s a minion with ears.

  • this country says it’s about

    Profiles in courage. LOL!

  • chezmoi
  • John Strycharz

    I normally enjoy reading The New Yorker, but not the issue last year that contained a polite puff piece about this human-shaped chemical toilet.

  • Scotterz

    There’s no such thing as an illegal word! If there was, “moist” would be one of them.

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