Tom Cotton, he is this shitbrick GOP senator from Arkansas who doesn’t think for himself and lives inside Donald Trump’s asshole, next to last night’s Big Macs. He has ALWAYS been a shit. He was a shit back when President Obama was negotiating the Iran nuclear deal, taking it upon himself to send his own GRRRR letter to Iran about how Obama isn’t even president, therefore Iran should just listen to him, a lowly redneck senator from Arkansas who doesn’t know his muh-fuckin’ place. He is an embarrassment to his home state, which just so happens to be yr Wonkette’s home state too! Indeed, we have heard #ArkansasRumors that, much like Ted Cruz, literally everybody has hated Tom Cotton his entire life, because he is that much of a sniveling shit.
Anyway, the Arkansas Times reports that Senator Snivel Dick has been sending CEASE-AND-DESIST LETTERS to constituents, for the crime of CALLING HIS OFFICE. Hey, here’s one:
This letter is immediate notification that all communication must cease and desist immediately with all offices of US Senator Tom Cotton.
All other contact will be deemed harassment and will be reported to the United States Capitol Police.
The Office of US Senator Tom Cotton.
Crazy, right? And Cotton’s office has confirmed that it does do this in extreme cases, like if it “receives repeated communications that are harassing and vulgar, or any communication that contains a threat.” Well, we definitely don’t want Senator Whiny Ass Titty Baby to get threats! (Seriously, we don’t.)
Let’s see what kind of evil cuss murderer prompted the letter above, because she must have been pretty scary! What did she do, Ozark Indivisible Twitter?
Did she ninja kick him in the peen a bunch while saying “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”?
LOL that sniveling shit Tom Cotton is scared of your Nana.
(He sure has changed since the old days when he was in “Army,” where, as he has told us, he did not drink gay sparkle water, because they didn’t serve it!)
Ozark Indivisible, which is a very persistent and organized and polite protest group, reports that others have gotten these letters too. We are sure they are equally threatening consituents who made Tom Cotton pee his britches just as much as Nana did up there.
(And Wonkette, again, doesn’t support threats, but we wouldn’t be bothered if Ozark Indivisible cut the crap and stood in front of Cotton’s office with signs that say, “WHO YOU THINK YOU WORK FOR, YOU RANCID LITTLE FUCK TROLL?” Would that be “vulgar”?)
The woman who received the letter above commented to Arkansas Times:
It was odd to receive this letter as I’ve called other Members of Congress to express my strong thoughts and opinions about their actions and thought this to be not only my duty as an American citizen but my First Amendment right granted all U.S. citizens by our U.S. Constitution, the foundation of our Democracy. […]
I think they just honestly don’t want to listen to any citizen’s opposing view or hear the numerous grave concerns U.S. citizens have about the serious & ongoing attack on our Democracy and past election cycle in which a foreign, hostile Russian government interfered, they don’t want U.S. citizens to call and speak their mind and truth in a very direct manner and they obviously don’t want to be held accountable for their words and actions while serving all the people in this nation.
She says she may have used “unbecoming language” a time or two, which Cotton should be able to handle since he, again, lives inside Trump’s butt and can presumably hear Trump when he yells “SHITHOLE!” about all the non-white people he and Tom Cotton don’t like very much.
So fucking get over it, Senator Piss Wipe. This is America, and you work for the voters of Arkansas, not Donald Goddamn Fucking Trump.
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