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trying to recall

Kirstjen Nielsen is the Homeland Security secretary now that John Kelly has moved to the White House to be the “grown-up racist in the room,” and she testified today for the Senate Judiciary Committee about immigration and DACA and “Did Donald Trump say shithole specifically, or did he say equally racist but different swears?” Nielsen does not remember! She does not remember things in general!

It was particularly fun because Senator Dick Durbin, who does remember because HE WAS THERE, is on that committee. So is his pal, Vermont Senator Pat Leahy.

Let’s start with Durbin:

DURBIN: How did [Trump] characterize those countries in Africa?

NIELSEN: I don’t specifically remember a categorization of countries in Africa …

DID HE SAY “SHITHOLE”?

NIELSEN: There were about a dozen people in the room, there were a lot of cross conversations, there was a lot of “rough talk” by a lot of people in the room …

AND DID HE SAY THE CUSS? AND THE THING ABOUT HOW HE WANTS MORE WHITE PEOPLE FROM NORWAY?

NIELSEN: Blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Nielsen added that Trump is very worried our immigration policies will “purposely exclude Europeans,” by which he clearly means white people.

BUT BACK TO THE CUSS AND THE RACISM:

DURBIN: You said on Fox News the president used “strong language,” what was that strong language?

NIELSEN: Uhhhhhh, let’s see. Strong language, there was … uhhhhhhh … I … apologize, I don’t remember a specific word … what I was struck with was frankly, as I’m sure you were as well, was just the general profanity that was used in the room by almost everyone!

SO MANY CUSSES, HARD TO PICK JUST ONE RACIST SHITHOLE CUSS FROM THE PRESIDENT!

DURBIN: Did you hear me use profanity?

NIELSEN: No, sir, and neither did I!

DURBIN: Did you hear Senator Graham use profanity?

NIELSEN: I did hear “tough language” from Senator Graham, yes, sir.

So she remembers when Lindsey Graham threw his hands up in the air and said “Boy fuckin’ howdy, Mr. President, you’re being a big ol’ fuckin’ racist right now!” but she does NOT remember the NSFW presidential racism that directly preceded it? Mmmhmm okay sure we bet.

Durbin went on to remind Nielsen that Graham’s “tough language” was simply repeating what Trump had just said (because again Durbin was there!), to which Nielsen replied, “Uhhhh, I remember specific cuss words being used by a variety of members!”

But not “shithole.” She remembers other specific cusses, but not that one, shhhhhhhh.

Later, Durbin asked Nielsen if she supports a path to citizenship for DACA people, and she expressed her desire to find a “permanent solution,” and Durbin was like “UGH CAN YOU NOT SOUND LIKE HITLER RIGHT NOW, LET ME ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN,” and she said yeah she guesses a path to citizenship is “part of the discussion.”

Pat Leahy had much the same line of questioning for Nielsen as Durbin did:

LEAHY: You were in the room. You are under oath. Did President Trump use this word, or a substantially similar word, to describe certain countries?

NIELSEN: I did not hear that word used, no sir.

LEAHY: That’s not the question. Did he use anything similar to that to describe certain countries?

And Nielsen’s answer, again, was that everybody was saying “tough language,” she remembers it vividly, except for that one little part she has conveniently forgotten. “LOOK AT ME, EVERYBODY, I’M AS BIG A IDIOT AS TOM COTTON!”

Leahy’s funniest moment, though, was when he got Kirstjen Nielsen to say she wasn’t sure if most people in Norway are white:

Dead now. We are fully and officially dead, because Kirstjen Nielsen is full of shit.

In lieu of flowers, please send booze.

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  • kareemachan

    drumpster only hires the bestest people, amirite?

    ETAA: Yeah, I have a hard time keeping bleached blonde bimbo repugs apart. Ernst and Nielsen (ironic name, no?) included.

  • Jonny On Maui

    I could recommend some nice flowers..

  • MynameisBlarney

    These turmp minions are having a hard time covering up their nazi tendencies.

  • lucidamente
  • Villago Delenda Est

    She works for a shithole. Of course she’s full of shit.

  • WIDTAP
    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      That kind standing in the middle has killed a LOT of neighborhood cats.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        I bet his parents don’t love him as much as they just tolerate hm…

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      kid in the middle has sort of a blonde Ted Cruz thing going on…

  • memzilla Ω
    • OneYieldRegular

      Brilliant.

  • Tetman Callis

    What part of “Loyalty to Der Fuehrer! Heil Trump!” do the Democrats not understand? That can be fixed, doncha know.

    • Jonny On Maui

      This is the kind of Blind Faith we like…

      https://youtu.be/bjuxK0VpIsQ

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        And you just can’t escape from the sound
        Don’t worry too much, it’ll happen to you
        We were children once, playing with toys

        And the thing that you’re hearing is only the sound
        Of the low spark of high-heeled boys

      • proudgrampa

        “I feel like Solid Gold already!”

        https://youtu.be/hblTcG_Aq04

      • willi0000000

        damn! . . . that slow hand kid can really play!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    In her defense: As an Irish person, I had no idea of the following:

    Irish people come from Ireland
    St Patrick was the patron saint of Ireland
    That Irish people were white.

    • WIDTAP

      Black Irish LIBULZ!

      • Sheepshagger

        Deeddly deeedly deddly do

      • Oblios_Cap

        They were swarthy Spaniards, I hear.

        • SweetDeeKat

          Not Joos, for once?

          • Oblios_Cap

            Catholics only allowed!

    • therblig

      until i got my results from ancestry23, i had no idea that my love of plaid and blue facepaint was due to my scottish heritage.

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    I love how she needs everyone to know she didn’t use naughty words at a meeting, but has no problem at all lying her face off.

  • Sheepshagger

    It depends what the definition of white is.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There was a time in this country when Nino Scalia would not have been considered to be “white”.

      • Sheepshagger

        Apple sauce!

      • h4rr4r

        First name Nino and last name ends in vowel, seems conclusive.

      • gnomemansanisland

        What kind of jiggery pokery is that?

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        I explain to my racist mother that once upon a time, us Italians weren’t so smiled upon in these United States. Nowhere near as bad as what black peoples faced, mind you…but folks back then did not have the appreciation for garlic and Parmesan like they do now…

    • SDGeoff3

      Lol!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Once upon a time Paul Ryan wasn’t considered white. Or Steve Bannon, or Bill O’Reilly, or Sean Hannity…

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        I wonder, what’s the ends game for white supremacists? Say all brown cultures disappear…then would it be down to hair and eye color? What happens when everyone is blond haired and blue eyed?

  • George

    Her term was permanent solution. Hitler’s was ultimate goal.
    The “lugenpresse” or lying press–Fake news. Way too parallel
    for comfort.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Trump’s term is own goal, right?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’m glad she could remember that Durbin didn’t cuss, but can’t recall what anybody else sad.

  • Michael Smith

    You know you’re dealing with mature people when they equate swearing with toughness.

    • Sheepshagger

      Fuck that!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Only possible response to such a shitheaded notion.

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a bunch of assholes.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Potty mouths are the toughest mouths…

      I can eviscerate someone, really make it hurt, without raising my voice, cursing or showing a bit of anger. If I pop off and cuss someone out, I’m just torqued and expect to be drinking beer with that person within the next 48.

  • Timothy Watson

    “Tough language” is the new “locker room talk”.

  • SDGeoff3

    OT but Haiti has decided it’s payback time. Courts will release papers from Duvalier regime documenting money laundering through Trump Tower.

    • The Wanderer

      Good. Nail the fucker to the fucking wall.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      GOOD.

      • Jacqueline

        Goo-g-le is paying $97 per h-o-ur,with weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 t-h-is last four weeks..wi-t-h-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever d-o-ne .. It sou-n-ds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!qx531i:➺➺➺ http://GoogleDailyConsumerLoveUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥♥♥h♥♥k♥♥e♥♥w♥♥♥t♥♥g♥♥b♥a♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥♥m♥d♥♥♥c♥♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥♥b♥♥k♥♥k♥l♥♥y♥♥♥q♥♥♥o♥♥♥i♥r♥♥s:::::!ux331b:lhuh

    • Sheepshagger

      But I thought Haitians were dirty?

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      “No shithole, no shithole, YOUR HOUSE IS THE SHITHOLE…”

      • SDGeoff3

        Lol! Perfect.

    • goonemeritus

      So this will result in more anti Clinton talking points?

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        No, Obama talking points, because blackity black.

        • goonemeritus

          Normally I would agree but anytime Hatti is mentioned a mandatory 20min Clinton diatribe is recited by every right wing talking head.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      But Clinton Foundation!

    • SweetDeeKat

      Any sources yet?

      • SDGeoff3

        Essence has an article about the documents being unsealed.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Don’t you go teasing me, now…
      Not that it would matter….the sisterfucking Jesus blowers that voted for him would think that’s what great businessmen do…

  • msanthropesmr

    We are still not sure if people from the Caucasus are Caucasian. We need to investigate a bit more.

    • Sheepshagger

      Tsarnev brothers libel!

    • therblig

      perhaps they should caucus on it

      • proudgrampa

        I hope they don’t caucus.

        Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

        Wait, what?

      • President in Exile Firefly

        I’m all right with that. Ural right with that also?

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        They’ll just get caucus blocked…

    • MANGO CRIMES

      also we googled “Aryan” and it turns out they are who “Iran” is named after and then our heads exploded

      • The Wanderer

        The last Shah of Iran was given the title Aryamehr, or ‘Light of the Aryans.’

        • Oblios_Cap

          Bit of a misnomer, wot?

          • The Wanderer

            True, considering. His titles included ‘King of Kings,’ which might have been a libel on Haile Selassie.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Triple H libelz also too.

    • The Wanderer

      I’m Northwest European.

    • gnomemansanisland

      They look kinda swarthy/Muslimy.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        The Tsarnaevs were literally from the Caucasus mountains. So I guess we shouldn’t allow anyone from Russia…

  • h4rr4r

    Permanent solution or final solution?

    • msanthropesmr

      Or the final countdown?

      • Timothy Watson

        Damn you, I’m totally humming that song now.

        • ScottGoode

          How do you hum that song? That song has to be sung at high volume.

          • Timothy Watson

            I’m at work, and no one wants to hear my singing in any situation.

          • The Wanderer

            Someone heard me singing The Internationale at work last May Day.

          • proudgrampa

            The question is, did they recognize it and call you a socialist?

          • The Wanderer

            No, they were shocked that I could sing. Of course, they missed me singing Frigging in the Rigging scant moments earlier.

        • proudgrampa

          Me, too!

        • Ms. MLG on Maui

          Let me help!

          It’s the eye of the Tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of our rival!

      • President in Exile Firefly

        You do realize that everybody’s workin’ for the weekend.

    • The Wanderer

      Either way, I’m sure Jews get a bit nervous at that phrase.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Speaking of that.
        NPR interviewed the new security guy for the Jewish Federation today.
        They ain’t taking no chances with the recent uptick in anti-Semitic rhetoric, vandalism, online threats and actual violence.

        • The Wanderer

          I don’t blame them.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hell, me either.

        • h4rr4r

          Sad part is Herr Drumpf did very well with the Orthodox groups.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Then, but now that he’s basically goosesteppin all over DC?

          • Bobathonic

            A little too fucking late.

          • h4rr4r

            I seriously doubt this will change anything.

          • ScottGoode

            Well it is the only real exercise he gets.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Good. I live just a couple of blocks from the Yeshiva up the street. So far, all quiet.

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          I hope they get some of those Mossad mofos doing security. I hear they don’t faff about.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Indeed.
            There’s a strict “NO FAFFING!” Rule in The Mossad.

      • Werewolf

        Yeah, we do.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’m sure *cough, cough* that with this bunch, it was merely coincidental…

  • JaveyDay

    Nielsen was given high ratings for her performance.

    • The Wanderer

      Will Trump giver her red and pink Starbursts?

      • JaveyDay

        No, he’ll give her his empty wrappers and she will be delighted.

        • Ms. MLG on Maui

          You can smell them, honey!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I didn’t get my $5 for watching her.

      • therblig

        no, but he’ll let her kiss his brown starburst

        • JaveyDay

          Grody.

        • The Wanderer

          Ah! The grit-pipe surprise.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      She really channeled it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I don’t think Lindsey Graham throwing his hands up in the air and squealing “Oh ,my Stars and Garters” is really considered tough language.

    Or that Jurgen Klopp’s use of “fruity language (as the British announcers put it) in his post-match interview after beating Man City was really all that bad either.

    • janecita

      “Oh, my stars and garters,” is my new favorite phrase. Thank you so much for sharing it:-)

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Don’t you mean oh, my Stars and Bars?

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      I thought his phrase was “heavens to murgatroid!”

  • dslindc

    If I failed to recall things at work as often as these people do, I would no longer be employed.

    • WeaselPoo

      Or you’d be ‘working’ at Trump’s White House—conceptually ’employed’.

      • dslindc

        Hard pass.

        • WeaselPoo

          Agreed.

    • goonemeritus

      That’s your fault for not working for someone under indictment.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      You forget that failing to recall things is pretty much their job right now.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      You obviously don’t work in government…

  • Sheepshagger

    That’s one hell of a Caucasian Kirstjen.

  • Michael R
  • proudgrampa

    After Durbin was through with her, I’ll bet she was pinin’ for the fjords.

    • JaveyDay

      But they closed the Fjord plant and laid off all the workers.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I have to admit, she has beautiful plumage

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      No, she was just resting…

  • OrG

    Alberto Gonzalez set the template. I don’t recall is the standard answer for a question they don’t want to answer.

    • The Wanderer

      He inherited it from John Mitchell.

      • Oblios_Cap

        And Ronnie Reagan.

        • OrG

          Eh, he prolly didn’t remember.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            the only one telling the truth, lol

      • ScottGoode

        haha. Been reading too much text today and thought it said “Joni Mitchell”. Was hella confused

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Chris Cillizza is blaming both sides now…

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    But what I want to know is, did her chest catch on fire again?

  • C4TWOMAN

    Oo! Oo! Let me help with Wikipedia:
    Ethnically, the residents of Norway are predominantly ethnic Norwegians who are of North Germanic / Nordic descent,
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Norway#Ethnicity

    Though much like the First Nations tribes are the first real Americans, the Sami are the real first inhabitants:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sami_people

    • Courser_Resistance

      17.?% of Norwegians are non-white. I read that in an article on Norway somewhere. Maybe the one I posted on another thread?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        so the seventeen percent solution?

      • OrG

        When my mom was in hospital in Oslo a lot of the staff were immigrants. Alot of them from somewhere in Africa.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Yeh, there’s a native alt-right movement that tries to make much of African’s not integrating…as if that would make these people happy. It’s complex; many refugees assumed/hoped/cling to the idea their presence is temporary and they’ll be able to go home one day….

      • C4TWOMAN

        I;m finding some figures hard to parse. places are mixing Immigrant figures with non-Germanic figures. But we cal agree most people who live there glow in the dark, And not just because of Chernobyl..

        • Courser_Resistance

          Well, yes, they/we are the whitest people on earth. What do you expect, we’re one step above moles!

  • Courser_Resistance

    Why aren’t we all descending on Washington with pitchforks and torches? Cuz I feel like it’s gettin’ to be that time.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i am not alowed to cros the streat

      • janecita

        Is the grammar police after you again?

        • OutOfOrbit

          they donut like me very much

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Had to come home when the streetlights came on…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    there was a lot of “rough talk” by a lot of people in the room

    BOTH SIDES DO IT!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38c92d9985fbe69ca3778c0511950e331401bcd64f092aec777a1062f6e9badf.png

  • beingreleased

    OT: Here’s a song that hasn’t aged well. Victoria Spivey’s “Let Him Beat Me.” I normally really like Victoria Spivey, but unless I’m really missing something, the line “Let him beat me/Let him beat me all night long,” is meant to be taken literally.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The Andrews Sisters IIRC, “Beat Me Daddy, 8 To The Bar” was about music, not domestic violence.
      I had to have this pointed out to me, because I was like. WTF?

      • beingreleased

        Bessie Smith had this in an otherwise perfect and beautiful song:

        Well I’d rather my man would hit me
        Than to jump right up and quit me
        ‘T ain’t nobody’s bizness if I do, do, do do

        • MynameisBlarney

          Damn.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Call me crazy, but I’m with Durbin – something about the words “permanent solution” followed by the Director of Homeland Security saying that she wants to “make sure that we don’t continue temporary populations that continue to exist” makes me not a little uneasy.

    • Sheepshagger

      You don’t want the homeland cleansed of undesirable elements? Weird.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m surprised nobody has brought up reinstating a eugenics program in this country. That’ll take care of things, by gum.

        • Cutting welfare, justified by “not paying for people who can’t afford them to have children”, IS a class-based eugenics program.

    • OutOfOrbit

      definition to be found under the heading: NeoNazi

    • h4rr4r

      She just wants to make sure this is the final solution.

    • Bobathonic

      When will they rename it the Department of Vaterland Security?

      • The Wanderer

        Heimatsicherheitshauptamt.

        • Bobathonic

          It’s always better in the original German.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Department of Backpfeifengesicht.

          • Bobathonic

            We’re in the administration of Backpfeifengesicht!

    • gnomemansanisland

      Did she say anything about lebesraum?

  • Oblios_Cap

    And now we’re helping promote peace in the Middle East even better. Thanks, Jared.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42711985

    • janecita

      Fucking administration!!!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      You know the universe has imploded unto itself when the self-appointed pope of Judaism is waging a permanent solution on a colonized ethnic minority.

      Plus ça change…

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Whitey mcWhiteperson from WhiteVille can’t remember what language the “president” used? She have her head in his lap at the time or something?

  • Justin Thyme

    I weep for the PRESENT!

  • Jen Rubin weighs in this afternoon, not just on Ms. Kirstjen Whitelady’s likely legal trouble for lying under oath but on the more obvious moral questions about Ms.Whitelady’s allegiance to trump:

    “What am I doing here? For the sake of argument, let’s say she doesn’t personally recall the president’s statements. By now, she is aware that both Sens. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) and Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) know what was said. She now has to consider — not from a legal sense, but from an ethical one — whether she wants to serve a president who plainly prefers white Europeans to black and brown people, and is prepared to lie to the public about his statements and views. Public service is honorable, but not when you are enabling elected officials to lie and to pursue racist ends.

    In a nutshell, this is why you cannot serve a president who is racist, dishonest or personally corrupt. You inevitably wind up enabling racism, dishonesty and corruption. If you thought you could remain untainted, you were wrong. And now, you need to either quit or face the legal and personal consequences.”

    • The Wanderer

      But she has neither morals nor conscience, so it’s all good.

      • True. She thrives whilst stricken with SHS Syndrome.

    • ImGoingBacon

      #NotAllFederalEmployees

  • Mavenmaven

    In retaliation, she’s going to reinstitute orange alerts at airports.

    • Mike Minden

      The new definition being “Trumpy’s here and he ain’t wearing pants again!”

    • Baconzgood

      Because of trump we’re ALL on Orange Alert.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I just picture Miss Lindsey swirling his mint julep and just beside himself with what that filthy man said.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      furiously fanning himself and tut tutting

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        While looking around for a fainting couch.

      • Bobathonic

        You misspelled “fapping”.

      • The Wanderer

        Cozy fan tutting?

        • Bobathonic

          Cosi fan tutti frutti*

          *Stolen from a Squeeze LP.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Ah DO declare!

    • ImGoingBacon

      ‘That most recent unpleasantness’

  • Gosala

    For the eleventy thousandth time: it’s not the fucking dumb ass shitty profanity.

    It’s the racism.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IKR? What particular slur he used is irrelevant; the problem is that he’s openly decrying the immigration of people of color and asking why we can’t get more white people. FOCUS, MEDIA, FOCUS.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Maybe someone should let him know that it’s because those other white-people countries don’t want to immigrate here, because stupid white people (Republicans) turned it into a shithole. We turned the shithole countries into shitholes for our own benefit, but not all American shitholers, just the ones at the top. Heck, only 230 people from Norway emigrated to Canada last year. So if even Canada is shitholier than Norway such that almost nobody from Norway wants to leave Norway for Canada, you think they really want to come to the United States? A shithole of shitholes if there ever was one?

    • SisterArtemis

      Thank you.

    • goonemeritus

      I’m totally cool with profanity, racism not so much.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Straw man arguments play well on TV. You can trot out a whole parade of people jumping up and down in outrage at an imaginary transgression. The rubes love it because it gives them talking points. See also: Colin Kaepernick

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Basically a repeat of the “Grab ’em by the pussy” shit show.

      “But he didn’t say he actually grabbed women by the ‘P-WORD!'”

      “No, he just said that it’s totes okey-doke for rich and famous assholes to grab unsuspecting women by their genitals without even asking. That’s sexual assault.”

      THIS is why we can’t have nice things.

  • Beelzebubba

    A “permanent solution” for a “temporary population”?
    They’re not even hiding it now.

    • OutOfOrbit

      tells us all we need to know mirite?

    • starfanglednut

      It’s the biggest dog whistle I’ve heard out of them yet, and that’s saying something.

    • Fartknocker

      Now serving Zyclon B Salsa at your nearest FEMA camp.

    • mappo

      I did nazi that coming.

  • Anna Rompage

    I hear Kirstjen is writing a book in her native tongue about her experiences leading the DHS. The book has been aptly named “Min kamp”

    • ScottGoode

      She’s DHS so it would be “Min FENA Kamp”

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    Does she remember Trump saying he doesn’t care what the Congressional Black Caucus wants?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yes, I’m a bit curious about that part myownself.

      • OutOfOrbit

        take your time it’ll cum to you

    • Anna Rompage

      I think she was confused at to what a cockass is exactly….

      The sphincter of a male rooster? Some sort of new porn maneuver? Who knows?

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        She just knows it’s bad, whatever it is.

        • Anna Rompage

          Someone who’s a dick, and an asshole, just like Donad….

      • WIDTAP

        No, no, no. She was confused between Caucus and Caucasian. One she has to shun, the other she has to cowtow to.

    • puredog

      Well, in fairness to Donnie (vomit), it’s safe to say that the CBC is overwhelmingly Democratic in orientation, so why would he?

  • moeman
  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
  • elviouslyqueer

    Isn’t there a fjord this chick should be pining for?

    • Arolpin

      I’ll nail her feet to a branch (with votes) if it would help.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I really hate “bitch” used as a term of abuse.

      • amrak63

        Fair point there.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Ordinarily I would be right there with you. But when somebody in (to use a phrase from the last post) a position of power is being willfully stupid and complicit, regardless of gender, I tilt toward the expletive.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Can’t you come up with something else? You are an intelligent and thoughtful person. Plus also too imaginative.

          • elviouslyqueer

            Agreed (about coming up with something else). I fixed it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Have i mentioned recently how much i like you?

          • Toomush Stability

            Is this a gender thing? If you called her a bastard, would that be okay?…Pig is okay, sow not so much?…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Bastard isnt actually a gendered word.

          • Toomush Stability

            Right. I was just trying to understand your aversion to ‘bitch’ specifically.. Asshole okay because everyone has one?…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yep. And bitch has been used as a slam on strong women for years.

          • Toomush Stability

            Okay, got it…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Thanks.

      • OutOfOrbit

        some peeps donut take it any other way believe me i can tell yuh

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Your insistence upon giving these people the minimum of respect they deserve as humans is getting on my nerves.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’ve been called a bitch. Enough already.

    • ScottGoode

      This really has been a Monty Python kind of day. Though no one got my “good pig country” reference in the Joni Ernst comments.

    • Justin Thyme

      Get that woman a kitchen!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Really? Can you find a different word?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Done.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Fnord?

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I kind of wish it was time for open thread so I could also start drinking, but I have srs work to do once everyone finishes with salting their sidewalks and calls me back.

    how is it possible for these people to use so many Nazi-isms and not know it? harken back to that “14 words” tweet by Sarah Palin. I can’t decide if they are incompetent racists or actual Nazis.

    I could crack a beer, right?

    • puredog

      Sure, but until open thread you can only inhale its aroma. There are rules.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        but it will be flat by the time it goes up. boo.

        • puredog

          Then you must exercise restraint, grasshopper. Wonkette has no place for people who do not have a firm hand on their. . .desires. [Hypocrite steps away from screen to refresh his vodka.]

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            what do I look like? a common Lindsay Graham?! I DON’T HAVE THE INGREDIENTS FOR A GRASSHOPPER!

      • Toomush Stability

        Oh, children. It’s just a shot away….

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        ‘I am inhaling its aroma. I drank it and now I am inhaling the aroma as it emanates from my stomach.’

    • OrG

      Last question- yes.
      You can be an incompetent racist AND an actual nazi.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        you’re not in the “you can only inhale its aroma” camp, are you?

        • OrG

          I am not a sadist.

    • Fartknocker

      Proceed with God’s Speed. I’m chilling my ass off with frozen fire sprinkler systems. The thermometer says it’s 21F but that wind is wicked cold.

      Have something warm with a nice distilled spirit.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        hmmm…but have srs campaign work later…

        my wind chime has finally stopped being so loud. you’ll be fine.

        • Fartknocker

          Well, pity me for I am wearing pants but they are soaked with water. Is the campaign work for O’Rourke Beto?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            you mean Beto O’Rourke? no. it’s an HD47 candidate.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            you should also take this icy day to put an application in on Jazzy.

  • Jgb979

    https://media2.giphy.com/media/EouEzI5bBR8uk/200w.gif

    She’s smart enough to know she’ll never get called on her shit. And that “I don’t remember the exact phrase” means the actual phrase was likely “shithole countries full of n—ers”

    • mike stone

      I disagree. The only thing of value anyone has in life is their credibility. She, Cotton, Purdue, etc. have all sold theirs for a cheap price and no one will want to be associated with them or hire them in the future. They all probably think that this will propel their careers, but it will have the opposite effect.

      Trump has never had credibility. He is a desperate, lazy and stupid crook that burns through money to project an image faster than it comes in – even accounting for the corrupt deals his makes with enemies to sell out the US.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        The irony of a racist prick being named Cotton. You can’t make this up.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    “Temporary populations that continue to exist”

    Solution: They shouldn’t continue existing anymore! HAHAHA LOLZ J/K AMIRITE?!?

  • Mike Minden

    In fairness, if I worked for Trumpy, I would drink to forget too.

    Imagine Kirstjen and Kellyanne lubing Trumpy up and loading him into his sex swing, while Ivanka stands in the background screeching directions. (shudder)

  • JaveyDay
  • starfanglednut

    I have never heard of this person. I can’t even keep up with all the moronic white suprrmacists being installed in top positions of our despotic regime.

  • goonemeritus

    Get used to the phrase “I don’t recall”, I have a feeling we will be hearing it a lot when Democrats take over leadership of the Senate next year and hearing get a little more Nurembergiee.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      “I was just following orders Trump’s twitter.”

  • TJ Barke

    She’s the kind of person Norway is happy to let go.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      When Norway sends its people, they’re not sending their best…

      • TJ Barke

        The only kind that would be attracted to republimerica, is predatory sociopathic corporate hacks.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    OT: Oh, this will not end well…

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/953349969649561600

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Any Norwegians in the room?

      • chicken thief

        I spent a month in Boda. That count?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “I am- and this is true – the least sexist person that’s ever spoken here.”

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      It sure as fuck didn’t START well.
      I will point out that every woman he mentioned by name (and you could tell someone was reminding him who they were) was in his administration, so ‘women’s event’ might not be the right word for it.

    • Notreelyhelping

      “Well, we all need to get with the program and have the workplace use more of the scrumptious little darlings.”

    • Michael R

      ” Nobody loves women more than me . How does that grab you ? “

    • SweetDeeKat

      Is it over yet? Have things asploded?

  • BigCSouthside

    I still can’t believe we are arguing over fucking DACA. It’s on the short list of “good shit America does”

    • OrG

      Anything on that list is anathema to rethugs.

    • Toomush Stability

      It’s a red herring that got away…

  • jaspersdad
  • The solution is going to be to deport them because the Nazis are back and they’re in charge of our presidency…

  • Joshua Norton

    I’m glad that Dems are beginning to understand the abject failure of “going high when they go low.”

    Finally.

    • BigCSouthside

      I’m more of the, “when they go low, knee cap them with a crowbar and steal their fucking wallet” camp right now

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        When they go low. curb stomp them into oblivion while they’re down there

        (with votes)

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          That’s why we need to go high, so we can develop a bit of speed on the way down.

    • altleftjohn

      “Give ’em Hell, Harry!”. Truman replied, “I don’t give them Hell. I just tell the truth about them, and they think it’s Hell.”

  • Toomush Stability

    When Nixon’s tapes were released, it turned out that he had the vilest potty mouth of anybody in the room, ever. Donald, last week, said that maybe he would have to keep tapes from now on….Please, we all think that’s a good idea…

    • bbayliss

      Once again, it is not about the profanity.
      Nixon’s remarks may have revealed him to have a “potty mouth”but the important revelation was that he was an anti semitic racist

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Keep tapes? You mean he has things to say that he hasn’t immediately published on the internet? I don’t think I want to hear those things.

  • gnomemansanisland

    This all seems like a really bad sequel to the Boys from Brazil

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      The Nuts from Brazil?

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        OH TOE YOU DIDN’T!

        (ISWYDT)

  • Michael R
    • Oblios_Cap

      Looks too good to be Sarah.

      • Arolpin

        Also, Droopy had better fashion sense and spoke more rapidly.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Her makeup seems to have improved.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      I think that’s been photoshorped!

      Something about the pixels* seems wrong.

      *eyes

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      ‘Know what, folks? I’m lying.’

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Funny, I think KAC resembles Droop Dog more..

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Saaaaaay, you know who else wanted a permanent solution for immigrants?

    • gnomemansanisland

      Clairol?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The Jets all the way?

  • Baconzgood

    Jeeze. Soon the GOP will pass the event horizon of protecting Trump. They will turn around and say “that was bad when when we protected him for 2 weeks for saying ‘Hitler should have killed more n****rs. I would have let the SS into Alabama if he would have offered’ on Fox and friends”.

    It’s going to be one of those comments that will even hurt them with their base of red neck loons.

    Or maybe Trump has to say something disparaging about NASCAR or coon hunting.

    • h4rr4r

      You might just want to change the second to last word in your comment. If you meant Trash Panda.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Given that we’re talking about the Trumpanzees, I think baconz got it right

        • h4rr4r

          Which is why I used “IF”.

      • Baconzgood

        That’s right. Sorry. I’m not up on all the racist lingo the hipsters use.

        • h4rr4r

          Hipsters?
          No that is old timey Alabama good old boy racism. In my time in the south I mostly heard it used to replace Dr King’s last name.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            All the cool kidz on teh 4chanz an stuff say Martin Luther Kong now.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    Pretty sure “kirstjen nielsen” is what Alexa says if you ask her to tell you the most Norwegian sounding name out there.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Just curious, but let’s say Trump lasts for four years.

    What the hell else can this crazy fucker do in that time?

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    And, per usual, Cillizza decides to play coy. “Well, maybe Perdue and Cotton are lying. Or maybe Durbin is lying to make Trump look bad. Let me just stand astride all of this and assume nothing.”

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/953351204633006082

    • puredog

      “I will stand astride it like a Cillossus.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      Let me guess. That “someone” is Hillary, right Chris?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Thanks Obama!

    • Major^3 Andre

      The continued Cillizification of CNN. He truly is the king of the tepid hot takes.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Thanks Captain Obvious.

    • Meccalopolis

      Does he really consider that “analysis?”

  • Nockular cavity

    Nielsen added that Trump is very worried our immigration policies will “purposely exclude Europeans,”

    Yes, I’m certain that’s going to happen…
    OW! I think I just suffered a permanent eyeroll injury!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Does he get it that they don’t want to come here because zomg soshulizms iz better?

      • OrG

        No.

  • bbayliss

    Kurt Eichenwald
    ‏@kurteichenwald
    5m5 minutes ago

    The DHS chief says under oath she can’t remember what Trump said last week, can’t remember words repeated by Lyndsey Graham though he heard them. Just doesn’t remember Trump saying “shithold countries.”

    Indict her 4 perjury or remove her from office 4 obvious dementia.

  • Baconzgood

    How could you possibly not know that there are a lot of white people in Norway? Have you ever watched the Olympics?

    What a blatant lie.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cory Booker is not havin’ your bullshit….

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/953324835509297152

    • puredog

      Cory definitely ripped her a new one. His fury looked utterly genuine.

      • Bill D. Burger

        And the cretin’s eyeroll tells you all you need to know about her contempt for the Congress and the African American congressman who just did rip her a new one.

        https://twitter.com/AynRandPaulRyan/status/953338943323348992

        • h4rr4r

          I don’t think she cares for Blah people

        • MynameisBlarney

          What a goddamned twunt.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            JINX

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          What an awful twunt.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          technically the DHS Secretary doesn’t work in the WH, but is in the administration.

          [end nerd transmission]

          if she keeps doing that, her face is going to stick that way.

        • Nockular cavity

          That’s…kind of terrifying, actually. They don’t give a shit about being called out on their racism, because they’re in power.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      In other words: Bitch, grow a backbone.

      My question is, why don’t they just OWN it already? For the Anti-PC crowd they sure are sheepish.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Jeezuz. “Permanent solution” for “temporary populations”? Just WTF in the name of everything nazi is that?

    • Bobathonic

      Need to clear the slate for the lebensborn.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is the sound of a nazi dogwhistle amplified through one of those old foghorns.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Mike Godwin’s head just exploded

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Poe’s law got merged with Godwin’s law.

        And there’s a Rule 34 somewhere about both.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      It refers to getting rid of people with ((((naturally curly hair.))))

      • MynameisBlarney

        My dad is from Germany and he has poodle hair.
        Pics of him from the 70’s were hilarious, he had a big ass Euro-Fro and a 70’s porn-stache and seemed to always be wearing denim.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          I am from the 70’s. We were all issued denim at age 14 as the uniform we wore to go forth and initiate the culture war.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Yeah, but looking back: damn, what were we thinking with the fashion.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Some of it was cool, but the leisure suits and big as fuck collars, not so much.
            Also, entirely too much polyester.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It is highly flammable.

          • Toomush Stability

            Back in the 60s we were just wearing our leftover good jeans from high school. When they got holey, we patched them. Then look what happened!…..

          • weighmaster

            I had a shirt made from bandanas.

          • Fire and Fury Demme

            Costume-tech daughter LOVES the 70s.
            She loves the silhouettes of the bell bottoms and platform shoes.
            I try to tell her, (as I was a teen in the 70s), about the fact that everything was polyester, and could be stinky.
            Mr. Demme tells her about horrible leisure suits and Quiana (sp?) shirts, but she insists that clothes were cool.
            I guess you had to be there.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁
          • MynameisBlarney

            No…hair was moar poodlier.
            And moar like Bob Ross in appearance.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          We all had those white Fros, I shudder looking at 70’s photos. I looked like a pudgy chrub, and I wasn’t even chubby.

      • SydneyP

        Yeah! We wants people as tall as Goebbels, as slender as Goering, as blonde as Hitler.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I have naturally curly hair, it’s a bitch to get a good hairdresser. And yes I caught your qualifier.

    • PubOption

      The gypsies moved around a lot, so they could only be counted as a temporary population in a particular place.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Are we having HEARINGS about whether the President used the word “shithole”? I mean, Trump SAID he never said that, so it’s obvious that he must have.

  • Mavenmaven

    Ve vill eradicate ze brown und black people from America First, and zen on to the Permanent Solution!!!!

  • Asterix

    For normal people, being under oath, being questioned by elected government officials, is enough to make people actually tell the truth. Not these people. They do nothing but lie. Being under “oath” is meaningless.

    • WeaselPoo

      It’s like a traffic light yellow.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Reverend Jim libelz?

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Seriously, per my question below. This is what scares me.

    https://twitter.com/RealPressSecBot/status/953352666175778816

    • OrG

      Satanists rejoice.

    • Bill D. Burger

      The Fundies and Chrisofascists are soooo’ persecuted. The Dotard and his minion enablers will one day free them.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2050ae4d7f4731ae738841330723607cf6af8a1cf423f47b4806cb7556e4c54.jpg

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        That’s what scares me. Right now, they’re focused on immigrants and Muslims, but a back half of a Trump administration could be brutal as fuck for us.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          First they came for — fuck it, they’re mowing over everybody, gonna do it live.

    • Justin Thyme

      February 29 would be better. Or is that taken by Freedom of Speech day?

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Fuck that’s my birthday! I don’t want the Christianists invading that too!

      • proudgrampa

        More like February 31.

        Twelfth of Never?

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Wait, that’s today? That’s kind of short notice. How am I supposed to prepare? Make a snow angel and a cross? What does one drink on religious freedom day? Blood?

    • Toomush Stability

      Ah, finally. The day you get to change your religion for a day with no consequences! I choose Frieda!….

      • The Wanderer

        I’m still worshiping Cthulhu. Ia!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I really like the Satanic Temple, their views on bodily autonomy are the best. And I love that they are atheists who picked a deity to troll christians. But do I really want to cheat on the FSM?

      • marxalot

        Satan and Baseball. We’re in a countdown to either Opening Day or the Final Day, take your pick, put a bet on the line.

    • ImGoingBacon
  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    “stop picking on the nice job creators at Soylent Green Co. they are only trying to solve world hunger!” ~ DHS Sect. Kirstjen Nielsen

  • Rick Hill

    “There were about a dozen people in the room, there were a lot of cross conversations,”

    Yeah,but you’re a good, loyal trump suckophant. You damn well know if the Lawd trump is speaking, you’re listening.

  • memzilla Ω

    Cory Booker lights Neilsen on fire, pisses on her, fire still burns.

    “The commander in chief, in an Oval Office meeting, referring to people from African countries and Haitians with the most vile and vulgar language — that language festers,” Booker said. “When ignorance and bigotry is alive with power, it’s a dangerous force in our country. Your silence and your amnesia is complicity.”

    • Notreelyhelping

      “Oh, thanks. Ivanka gave me a bottle.”

    • Courser_Resistance

      Dude is on FIRE!!! Go Cory!

      Sadly, he’ll probably be censured.

  • Me not sure

    Q. ” Secretary Neilsen, is, to the best of your knowledge, the Pope Catholic?
    A. “How could I know that? I’m a Lutheran.”
    How could a person of obviously Scandinavian ancestry not know that Norwegians are more than just a little white?

  • Baconzgood

    At which point do these Trump protectors throw up their hands and say “no I just can’t do this anymore. It’s getting hard to look at my kids”?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Never- they’re all soulless sociopaths, that’s why they signed on in the first place

    • nightmoth

      not until the money runs out

    • AmusedAmused

      They owe their soul to the company store.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Objection: assumes soul previously in evidence.

        • AmusedAmused

          Obviously you are not a lawyer. They may lack a soul and still owe it to Trump O.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      it’s going to take a little longer for the ones who slip into Nazi language.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Nope. Gotta make as much money now because once Trump is gone, they will be toxic in Washington. At least I hope they would be.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        at least until David Brooks and chris Cillizza spackle over the whole thing and memoryhole the entire Trump term, just like they did W’s…

    • OrG

      Never. Only when they fear that defending him will cost them. Morality will have nothing to do with it.

  • AmusedAmused

    Someone please tell Trump, I have personally seen black Norwegians.

  • nightmoth

    rough talk, tough talk, all-the-best-words talk
    I think the father of the “president” must have bribed his 1st grade teacher to pass him despite his obvious reading and speaking disability. When I was a kid this moron would have been in the “special” class and we would have given him cookies because we felt sorry for him. (Except the kids I knew in the special class were mostly nice.)

    • Toomush Stability

      That’s what the House and Senate like about him…

    • Justin Thyme

      Wharton owns this.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/former-wharton-professor-trump-was-dumbest-gddam-student-i-ever-had

        Professor Kelley told me 100 times over three decades that “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.” I remember his emphasis and inflection — it went like this: “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddamn student I ever had.” Kelley told me this after Trump had become a celebrity, but long before he was considered a political figure. Kelley often referred to Trump’s arrogance when he told the story that Trump came to Wharton thinking he already knew everything.

        • Justin Thyme

          yet

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          And the base sees that and goes “YEE HA! See? He ain’t no commie garbage book lurnin elite! HE’S JUST LIKE US! MAGA!”

          Should we start hoarding books to protect them from the volunteer “fire hoses” yet?

  • proudgrampa

    How can such physically beautiful people be so blatantly stupid and amoral?

    • Rags

      What a crock. If this is how you think, please take a large quantity of votes and fuck yourself with them.

      • proudgrampa

        You missed the air quotes.

      • efoveks

        I down voted you for that because that is just way over the top mean.

        • Rags

          Sorry you feel that way. I truly resent the implication that moral quality is or should be in some way correlated with physical beauty. This is a deep and abiding problem in our culture. I would have hoped that that kind of thinking would have died out with handsome Dick Tracy and all of his hideous looking villains.

          • efoveks

            Okay. And I am sorry to (for down voting you). I was surprised by the strength of your reaction to someone who never says anything bad about other noncommenters. Any time you want to tell a troll to go fuck themselves I am so with you, though.

    • Asterix

      What someone looks like has nothing to do with their character.

      • Toomush Stability

        See: Jarvanka…

        • proudgrampa

          Yup.

      • Justin Thyme

        ‘cept Donald.

    • TJ Barke

      Coddled because of their beauty.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You find them physically beautiful? Well, we all have our own tastes.

      • proudgrampa

        Who missed the irony?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Humor. It confuses me.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Proof only that god does make mistakes.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Hitler really didn’t think through his whole theory about blondes being the superior intelligent race, did he?

    • ImGoingBacon

      Why was she born so beautiful? Why was she born at all?

  • Joshua Norton

    Leahy’s funniest moment, though, was when he got Kirstjen Nielsen to say she wasn’t sure if most people in Norway are white:

    Life comes at you fast. Especially if you’re a mindless sycophant.

  • Toomush Stability

    “Why do we have to have all these immigrants from these [tough language] nations, like Haiti and Africa. Why can’t we have more people from [tough white language] countries like Norway?” Yeah, that’s better…

  • Gosala

    “permanent solution” oder Endlősung?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I dunno but I saw plenty of conferences where President Obama was speaking and everyone in the room shut up and listened respectfully. Is Ms. Nielson trying to get us to believe that everyone was shouting over Dumpy and she couldn’t hear him? Because LOL seriously fuck that

    • marxalot

      He’s also, just like, really loud. I mean.

  • TJ Barke

    She should change her surname to Quisling.

  • AmusedAmused

    “Permanent Solution”

    *shudder*

    Will that solution involve Holocaust Centers?

    • Asterix

      Why do you think Walmart closed all those Sam’s Clubs…

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Blackest Noobs

    we don’t have to be dead if they’re dead 1st. of natural causes from a meany_pants deity.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Do the deportations stop when the government shuts down?

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    This is literally SHS’s defense of Donnie not being a racist.

    “I think that is an outrageous claim, and frankly I think if the critics of the president were who he said he was, why did NBC give him a show for a decade on TV,”

    • Arolpin

      Tom Arnold REALLY fucking needs to release the outtake tapes, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Maybe he’s going to troll his ex by having someone do a Max Headroom hack into the Roseanne premiere broadcast, and show the Trump racism tape instead.

        • Arolpin

          Given Roseanne’s support of Trump, it will probably only be deplorables watching, and they will cheer it.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            This is good news for Tim Allen…

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Did she not hear what he had to say to Rosie? She of the same rather outspoken personality and Zaftig figure would not fare any better.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Ummmm, ratings? Because NBC DGAF as long as enough people watch the drivel they churn out?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Um, Sarah, honey, you do know there’s such a thing as “taped” television, right? Where you cut out the parts where the host is being a racist dickweed? Where the part where he groped the female guest doesn’t make the final cut?
      Or do you just think we’re all as stupid as his base is?

      • Courser_Resistance

        Well, she’s that stupid.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          And she looks like she was dropped on her head as a child.

    • weighmaster

      “…I think if the critics of the president were who he said he was…”
      I cannot make any sense of that.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      007 = License To Kill

      NBC Teevee Host = License To Everything

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “Also, why did Hillary Clinton agree to the debates during the campaign if she wasn’t convinced that he was a master debater?”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump has a knack for finding the suckiest sycophants, doesn’t he?

  • SadDemInTex

    I had a friend who married a Norwegian guy in 1980. She was a brunette with brown eyes but 100% European descent. When she was first there she felt really weird because there were hardly any brunettes. She never felt comfortable and eventually came back to the US.

    • Beautiful Soup

      So Norway is one big no-go zone for brunettes? SAD!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Peter Hoekstra waa right!

        • Beautiful Soup

          He was talking about the Norwaylands!

    • h4rr4r

      Given that blond hair is recessive, just how inbred are those folks?

    • OrG

      Really? I was in Norway in 2016 and it didn’t seem like that. Maybe it’s different now.

      • SadDemInTex

        There has been a lot more immigration into Norway in the last 20 years. But in 1980 it was very very white.

    • marxalot

      Shoulda stuck to Denmark, I guess…

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Drumpfland, Drumpfland Uber Alles…

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Wait, so everybody was using “tough language”?

    So you’re saying that a debate on DACA degenerated into a flurry of racial slurs from multiple parties involved?

    HOW IS THAT BETTER?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I like to think it went something like this.

      GOP Person: Racial slur! Another racial slur! N-word! Poor people are !#@%(*!!
      Democrat: You mother-fucking fuckwit piece of shitfuck fuckface.

  • Norway has to be thinking “Just leave us the fuck outta this shitshow” right about now.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I picture them all going back to bed until it’s safe to come out.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Yes, but if you walk quietly up behind them, you’ll hear them chuckling and whispering “shithole.”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Pretty much.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Liar, liar, chest’s on fire

    • Hardly Ideal

      I couldn’t stop watching that. It’s like a goddamned chameleon.

    • everstar

      I didn’t get a chance to watch those clips and now I can’t find them. Who was that?

  • CeeQ

    Wow. Holy macaroni. I mean. My stars and heavens above.

    That’s all the swears I’ve ever heard, Senator. Promise.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I hope every job interview any of these fluffers have for the rest of their lives goes something like, “Aren’t you the one who said under oath that you didn’t hear the shithole comment? Didn’t I see you literally break out in hives on live television?” “No, no, that was just someone who looked like me! Who happened to have the same name! It happens a lot – Norway is a small country, we all have about twelve names!” “Sorry, we have no position available – have you tried Walmart?”

  • The Wanderer
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh gawd, what now?

      • The Wanderer

        Link above from HuffPo about the couple who had their kids chained to their beds and were starving them.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Jesus.

          • The Wanderer

            I doubt Jesus had anything to do with it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Damn. Too many children. I just…..Too many children…..

          • MizzMazz

            Even though it wasn’t mentioned in the article,my first thought was quiverfull jesus freak types.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          No. I will not click the clicky. I am going to do my utmost to not think about my occasional approval of the death penalty.

          • Justin Thyme

            a case for the permanent solution.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I saw that story earlier on RS…
      Too fucked up for words.

    • Justin Thyme

      more kittens, PLEASE!

      • The Wanderer

        I was afraid to do more than three, lest Disqus start going fuckwit.

        • Justin Thyme

          not enough, anyway.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Look, it’s possible that the 49 year old is the mother of the 2 year old baby, but on the other hand, Josef Fritzl.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Trump probably said “qi house”, and intended to compliment the way these countries were aligned with the vital life force.

  • Speaking of immigration, from WaPo:

    “The Trump administration on Tuesday said it would appeal a federal judge’s ruling that temporarily derailed plans to phase out DACA, the Obama-era deportation protections for undocumented immigrants who have lived in the United States since they were children.

    The Department of Justice said it filed a notice of appeal before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit seeking to overturn the judge’s order in California, and said it will also “take the rare step” later this week of asking the Supreme Court to directly intervene.

    Attorney General Jeff Sessions said “it defies both law and common sense” that a “single district court in San Francisco” had halted the administration’s plans to wind down the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program starting in March.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the fucking attorney general doesn’t understand how the court system works?

      • marxalot

        He did this same thing when it was a court in HI. He seems to think the justice system requires a supermajority of courts to agree on a ruling or something.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or only red state districts count

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Knowing a guy like Secessions, he probably thinks 3/5 is a minority.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        That is the guy that Ronny Raygun nominated and republicans found him too racist to be a federal judge.

        • Werewolf

          And that was back when Republicans were openly in favor of apartheid in South Africa.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            What the fuck is wrong with U.S. conservatives? Diefenbaker called them out in fucking 1961 when America was still in denial that black people are human. (And remains in denial about that to this day.)

          • Toomush Stability

            It started out as an appeal to win the white Suthren vote…

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            USA = U Suck, America.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Knowing what they can and can’t do is a drawback to being hired by Donnie.

  • WomanInThePersistence
    • The Wanderer

      Norway did things right in 1905. Voted to separate from Sweden, and voted to hire a King from the standard new car lot of Kings at the time, the Danish royal house.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        And the campaign slogan for that better version of Brexit?

        “It’s Norway or the highway!”

        (I’ll show myself out.)

        • Toomush Stability

          Don’t let the freeway hit you in the ass…

      • UnsaltedSinner

        They were on sale. If you bought one king, you got a prince for free.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      That’s easy for you to say.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Trump: “You know, she sounds pretty stupid. Are you sure she’s Normegian?”

  • Wuulf

    Leslie Nielsen died years ago but he still would have been a https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4936261ae518fd77c0b7d8df118b37dc5cb2f93e24ee583d4c1b11e68bfa99f.png better Homeland Security Secretary than this POS.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Canadjun, thatz why. And he fought in the Bigly War alongside George Zip.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Over Macho Grande?

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Pity though, he let Nordberg get away…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wait a minute! Why isn’t Norway isn’t a “shithole country” They embrace everything Trump supposedly abhors: higher taxes, bigger government, liberal social values, something resembling _______________socialism!

    They ARE white….oh, that couldn’t be it…..Hmmm…wonder why?

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    OT but damn, it took 2 hours at the dealership to rotate the tires, change the air filters and change the oil. Oh well at least its done and I don’t have to worry about anything with my car for a while.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That sort of thing can’t be done much faster actually.
      2 hrs isn’t bad at all for all that.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It always takes about that long at our local place, too.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Marceline

    If we make it through this I have two words: Nuremberg trials.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      I’ll second that.

  • Moar Wordz

    How reassuring that ” tough language ” was used by errbody in the room, except Neilson.
    Let’s define ” tough, ” shall we ? What’s a synonym for ” tough ? ”
    Euphamism, much ?

    • Toomush Stability

      Tough………….titties?… Tough………….times? Tough…………….shit?….

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Tough noogies.

      • Moar Wordz

        I said synonym, not nouns that go with it. Eyes on the board, Toomush Stability.

        • Toomush Stability

          Just going my own direction as always…Shitty language is always tough…

          • Moar Wordz

            Funny, I thought you were giving me shit, Toomush.
            Weird.
            It’s not as if anyone ELSE has !
            Bwahahahaha, evil laughter, from all sides.

  • vukojebina_MΩment

    what I was struck with was frankly, as I’m sure you were as well, was just the general profanity that was used in the room by almost everyone!

    BOTH FUCKING SIDES!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I do declare! Those ghastly beasts used such tough language in front of the delicate little lady. My stars, wasn’t there a Southron Gentleman amongst them?

  • cmd resistor

    So I read that at the same hearing, Graham said that the whole immigration process had devolved into an “s-show.” I could not tell if that was a sanitized version and he really said shitshow, or if he sanitized himself.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      The GOP would need a Silkwood shower to sanitize themselves of the stench of Trump.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I can hear him saying “What an ess show! Everything is completely effed-up!”

      Although I prefer to think of him saying “Fiddle-dee-dee!”

  • Shibusa
    • Blackest Noobs

      Pence thinks ” OOOOOOH YUM!!!! YUMMY BLACK THIGHS!”

    • ImGoingBacon

      They spelled ‘hypnotic’ wrong.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • guest

    Corey Booker shut her down ad sowed the world the despicable human waste that she is:

    Emotional Senator Booker Opens up on DHS Secretary Nielsen on Trump’s Words in Washington DC.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBrOv5hBOEo

    Watch the entire video. This is a man who has had enough.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He seems to be just a weeee bit upset.

    • Boojum

      Wow. She is going to need a colostomy bag.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Rebel Scum with permit

    If this was some other country, one of little strategic importance, and without nukes, this government would be hysterically funny. We would roll our eyes and say “WTF, people”?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • YayConspiracy

    If you don’t know that Norway is mostly white, you sure as hell don’t remember any cuss words–and you’re unfit for higher office.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    We need to keep out the Norwegians. The last thing we need are more Lena and Ole jokes. There are entire counties in Minnesota that are no-go zones.

    • MynameisBlarney

      And the Lutefisk!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        NEVAR FORGIT

      • DrBigHead

        Apparently there is currently more lutefisk consumed in Minnesota than Norway

        • Invisible Bunyip

          Because Norwegians are smarter.

    • Mahousu

      Imagine the riots if the Vikings win the Super Bowl.

      Fortunately, imagining is sufficient, as it’ll never happen in real life.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Yeah, there’s going to be a lot of disappointed people inside the…Metrodome? Or what are they calling that place now?

        • Toomush Stability

          US Bank Stadium… so civic, so tax-sheltered…

          • everstar

            I’m grumpy about that on behalf of Hubert H. Humphrey III.

        • everstar

          I’ve heard it called the Ark, but my dad still calls it the Metrodome. Hilariously, so does the sign off 35-W south onto Washington Ave.

      • Toomush Stability

        Skol!….

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      So, that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money? There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’tcha know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day. Well. I just don’t understand it.

      …said no GOP functionary ever.

      • Justin Thyme

        Great scene! Especially the look on the guy’s face.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Wasn’t that another stereotype? That Nordic folk were hard working but unimaginative and slow witted. Don’t we have enough dumb people in Murica?

      • SDGeoff3

        Thank Garrulous Keiller for helping with that.

    • everstar

      It’s true! I’ve heard tales of being forced to eat lutefisk at gunpoint!

  • John Thorstensen

    Gosh, I have ancestors from Norway that were all pretty low in the melanin department. So does she, apparently. The “sen” ending is the tell.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It bothers me that my surname ends with “son”. Apparently great-great-great granddaddy was the lone Norwegian on a ship of Swedes.

      • Toomush Stability

        ‘son’ is perfectly good Swedish…

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Ugh. I’m not Swedish! I’m not!

          • Toomush Stability

            Sure, now hate all us Swedes. I see where you’re going with this…anyway, your last name shoulda been ‘dotter’, because that’s how they used to roll…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Because the Swedes and Norwegians are so different. And I’m 1/16th Norwegian, so I should know.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’ve never been Icelandic. Never I say!

          • UnsaltedSinner
      • John Thorstensen

        A few years back a Norwegian motorcycle enthusiast wanted to change his name officially to “Harley Davidson”. The court allowed it under the condition that he change it to “Harley DavidSEN”.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          I remember that.

  • vukojebina_MΩment

    To be fair, she flunked the oral comprehension part of her TOEFL, also too.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      About that- how clueless or sinister do you have to be to use the words “final solution” and “immigrants” in one sentence?

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        On a scale of zero to Hitler?

        • Blackest Noobs

          Hitler, definitely, Hitler

          • vukojebina_MΩment

            You never go full Hitler.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Don’t tell us, tell them.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i dunno they’re coming damn close.

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          She’s already gone full Quisling, so…

          • John Thorstensen

            Now that’s the kind of Norwegian that Trump would welcome!

            The guys with the radios and rifles under the floorboards, not so much. (A now-deceased acquaintance of mine was a child in occupied Norway — his family had just that.)

  • MynameisBlarney

    So…turmp aides shouted down Jim Acosta whenever he asked a question.
    Like, in his face shouted.

    This shit cannot be allowed to continue.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210106824

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Why don’t they just start wearing brown shirts and seig heiling? FFS.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I am betting they already do in private and are waiting for the go ahead to start doing it public.

        • Blackest Noobs

          they changed it to white polo shirts.

          • Justin Thyme

            Are they still using that tired old swastika as their logo?

          • Blackest Noobs

            tiki torches

      • Kryptonian Canis

        It’s pretty obvious, the whole time they’ve been saying “fake news” it’s just been the American version of lügenpresse.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I agree and it can stop immediately by the White House Press Corp just refusing to listen to the lying bullshit that is being spoon fed to them. Just. Don’t, Go.

      There are many ways to get information that do not involve being in that room. Be a journalist, work some sources. There are a lot of people willing to tell you a lot of things that you are NEVER going to hear from SH Sanders. You want to do the right thing? Get the fuck outta there.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Keep fucking Thors outha my country…we already got enough of you white folks, and the ones we have, have already fucked up shit good..no more please.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Can’t tell if snark or…

      • Blackest Noobs

        snark with truth…Norgies can come on in…just leave your shitty whiteness behind, which they don’t have….since we cornered the market on white people being shitty.

        • Jennaratrix

          We may have more than our fair share, but I don’t think we’ve cornered the market of shitty white people. Plenty of nazis, neo-nazis and white supremacists all over Europe. In other words, there’s more where we came from!

          (“We” being white people, as I am a white people, but not necessarily shitty because I try really hard not to be that.)

          • Blackest Noobs

            and we fucked them up good….shit their fuck-all leader married his mistress, shot her in the head and then himself and the nazi pukes poured gasoline on em and burned them and the dirty commie russians took his skull and had it for decades before telling anyone.

            but no we are fucking worse white people ever…the whole fucking slavery thing makes the Nazis look like a fucking joke.

          • Red Richmond

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8527f2db5725c833a78e19faff0f066cafda5a961cb0be242a29adfc6f323d23.gif

            And blocked. Sorry, not taking that troll/derp-bait. Either you’re batshit crazy or trolling to get a rise out folks here, and either way I don’t have time for your bullshit. Fuckity bye and good luck with that hate boner you’re nursing. Maybe someday you and trump can see whose is bigger.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Ummm…..sorry I’m so white.

        • MynameisBlarney
        • MynameisBlarney

          *blinks slowly several times*

          I don’t think perhaps you thought that one through thoroughly before posting.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i have thought it out…white people in this country has caused more grief and pain and terrible things than a few fucking arabs ever did on a tuesday morning.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That’s comparing apples to oranges, and not what I’m talking about at all, but ok.

            Just realize that not all whites are evil racists and that some of us are trying to stop turmp and his nazi minions before shit gets really ugly.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i fucking don’t care at this point…we’ve been giving whitey the benefit of the doubts for YEARS.

            you think Trayvon was given the benefit of the doubt?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I think you’re trolling.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            So what do you want white people to do?

          • Red Bird

            True. But you are part of the minority. That’s just the reality of America.

        • Toomush Stability

          What have you got against the melatonin deficient?…

        • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

          Hey, good news! Sean Hannity would love you to come on his show and discuss your common interest: racism!

          You see, it turns out that racists (normal ones, and “reverse” ones too) just LOVE scapegoats!

          • Blackest Noobs

            zzzz yeah because white people are not
            1) THE ONES HOARDING GUNS AND THEN SHOOTING INNOCENT PEOPLE
            2) SUPPORT RACIST SHITBAGS IN ELECTED OFFICES
            3)ARE JUST RACIST AND HAVE BEEN SOOOO FOR OVER 200 FUCKING YEARS

            sorry whitey if i got your panties in a twist about the fucking truth. white people fucking suck. you had your time and what most of you whitey did was be assholes.

          • MynameisBlarney

            You realize that you sound a LOT like the nazis that are are lumping all PoC into one monolithic group.

          • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

            Fair points.

            Dude, sorry you’re so pissed. It’s a shame that racism in this nation fucks everything up. We’re not enemies, but you wouldn’t know that if you’re only going by my skin color.

            I just don’t think it’s gonna get fixed by raging this way. It’s not the whiteness on the outside, it’s the shittiness on the inside.

            .

          • Red Bird

            OT but relevant. Black people don’t typically call white people “whitey”. Just saying.

          • Justin Thyme

            It IS Hannity.

        • SDGeoff3

          Yeah, honey. Whatever. Sayonara.

    • WomanInThePersistence
      • Blackest Noobs

        is that Thor’s current form?

  • gratuitous

    Memory problems, Ms. Nielsen? Have you been taking a marijuana or something?

    • John Thorstensen

      Maybe she’s one of them hoopers who smokes LDO.

  • KC

    Did anyone else notice the eye rolling she gave Booker? What a disrespectful, racist *itch

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I didn’t watch the video. As bad, or worse than Jeffy Sesh’s behavior while being grilled by Sen. Harris?

    • TimResistit

      I did, and it pissed me off , too.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Q: Africa is predominantly black is it not?
    A: I don’t know that.
    Q: Are you white?
    A: I don’t recall seeing that in the mirror.
    Q: did you hear Obama say he was from Africa?
    A: Yes, I did.
    Q: Did Trump say Shithole?
    A: There was a sound. Something. So I couldn’t recall.
    Q: Did Trump say he is a stable genius?
    A: Yes…

  • Jeffery Campbell

    What kind of name is Kirstjen? That ought to be disqualifying even if lying stupidity isn’t.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Sounds kinda…Norwegian.

      • SDGeoff3

        Scandahoovian?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Ya der hey, as we might say in Wiscahnsin.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Except for the “j”. Dutch?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Flip the j and e to make Kirstejn and you’ve got a somewhat common (male) Danish name.

    • Trollhunter

      Wait, it’s not Haitian?

      • thixotropic jerk

        Lately it has been Hatin’.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    These people think “purposefully exclude Europeans” is better? Or that it’s a clever way to make anyone but their base think “oh, so not racist after all”?
    JFC on a goddam hipster fixie bike.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      They don’t want us to be all reverse-racists against the Norwegians.

  • BMW

    “Kristjen” sounds like a stupid tabloid nickname for a celebrity couple.

  • La forza del resistino

    ‘we don’t need a contiguous border wall cuz there are mountains.
    German border officials mention the case of Mary Poppins and the Von Trapp family

  • MAZS

    Wait–Scandinavians are white? Who knew.

    • Red Bird

      No, they’re albino Eskimos.

    • thixotropic jerk

      I believe the ethical term is “melanin-challenged.”

  • Paperless Tiger

    They sure know how to get the melting pot stirred up.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Totally OT, but I really don’t care having the schools bus stop right at the corner of our shop.
    Fuckin noisy ass annoying little brats.

    Ok…now, where were we?

    Ah yes…
    The demise of Western Civilization in real time?

    Loverly.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Can’t you put out traps?

      • MynameisBlarney

        It seems the authorities in this quaint village frown upon such methods.
        Said something about “children are our future” or some such nonsense.

        • everstar

          What if you use the ones with glue?

          • MynameisBlarney

            “Inhumane” they said.
            Along with “WTF is wrong with you!?!”.

          • everstar

            Some people are so touchy, jeez.

          • thixotropic jerk

            I can wholesale you a few of these devices: problem solved!

            http://www.movingsoundtech.com

          • Lefty Wright

            Or you could try Frank Sinatra.

        • Roadstergal

          Catch and release in a more suitable environment?

    • anon_the_great

      Release the Hounds!

      • MynameisBlarney

        I had a “GET OFFA MAH LAWN!” moment with those whippersnappers after the hurricane.
        Little snot-nosed monsters were leaning on our hurricane damaged fence with was being held up by sheer force of will alone.
        Had to yell at them 3 times.

  • anon_the_great

    Send booze to who? Me? That’d be cool

    • thixotropic jerk

      Leave address.
      Will be filtering said booze through me kidneys first tho m’kay?

  • Kryptonian Canis

    Oh come on, she just wants to find a permanent solution so these temporary populations don’t continue to exist. Wouldn’t it just be swell if they could finally come up with some kind of solution?

    • Roadstergal

      Some nicely final solution to wrap things up for good?

  • Kryptonian Canis
  • NorthernSaber

    Jesus Lutefisk Loving Christ- thankfully I just did 10k or so of hard Nordic skiing out to what was once America’s largest repository of H-bombs, so I’m reasonably chill about Reindeer-Barbie Nielsen here not knowing if Norway is largely white. Otherwise I’d drag out the heavy-artillery Finnish cuss words, probably fuck them up again like last time, and then Changeling or some other kind-hearted Finnish Wonker would have to set my stupid Swedish-speaking self straight. Yep- had a great ski, watching the snow turn blue out back at sunset, and it’s “Shepherd’s Pie” night tonight, so for right now I just don’t have time for Nielsen’s nattering nonsense. Nej…det har jag inte.

  • Eva Braun there seems nice.

  • Begin Anew Day

    “permanent solution”?

    Did you perhaps mean”final solution”?

    I just can’t.

    There is no humor in me when a befuddled poster child for Hitlerian Superpeople runs an enormous executive branch security apparatus of our government.

    May Cthulhu smite me if I back one inch down from these reprehensible shitholes.

  • willi0000000

    DURBIN: How did [Trump] characterize those countries in Africa?

    NIELSEN: I don’t specifically remember a categorization of countries in Africa …

    at the risk of repeating myself from yesterday . . . they heard it all right . . . or their denials wouldn’t be so specific that they couldn’t technically be called lies.

    [ didn’t someone once write a book about lying liars? ]

  • Bren

    Well we haven’t got a florist shop nearby, but we have got a booze shop. I don’t know though, it seems to me that reading more Wonks about this Trumpian dystopia would drive me to drink, so buying some is a big risk factor. Then I thought I could send weed instead, but that wouldn’t work out well. Aww fuck it!!! I’ll just smoke it myself, that’s better than having the doors kicked in by a swat team at stupid o clock in the morning.

    And people from Norway are only white once they’ve been in the sun for two weeks. Until then they are blue – with the fucking cold

    • miss_grundy

      Oooooo, do they look like Whitewalkers?????

  • thixotropic jerk

    “Why do you easily recall the adjectives used for Norway but not so easily remember the one’s Trümpf used to describe Africa and Haiti?”
    “Um, because ‘Blondes Have Moar Fun’?”
    “Are there white people in Norway?”
    “I was told there would be no math?”
    “Did the Precednent use the word ‘shithole’ to describe Africa and Haiti?”
    “Uh-uh he was telling Mr. Lindsey to ‘shut his piehole’ is what I recall.”

  • miss_grundy

    The C.I.A. publish country reports which gives you a breakdown on a country’s demographic, political and economic systems and also provides a history. Why couldn’t this chick have one of her underlings look up the information on the C.I.A.’s web site? Estupida comemierda!

    • littlegreen

      Why cooperate when you can lie?

      Plus, facts are a global elitist thing. The base doesn’t approve of them.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    On the plus side, I think she pretty conclusively demolished the notion that Aryans are superior to anyone. Without even trying!

    • rg9rts

      She will get the ambassadorship to Norway as a consolation prize

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        But only the Black parts.

  • rg9rts

    Cory’s best line……I was in the oval office a number of times and I NEVER FORGOT ANYTHING THAT WAS SAID

    • efoveks

      Not that he remembers, anyway. It’s hard to pay attention though, when he’s under the desk.

      • rg9rts

        you’ll never get that chance trumpkin

  • efoveks

    Honey, if you aren’t going to pay attention in the meetings, when exactly do you think it would be a good time to pay attention? You are in charge of national security. It is your job to pay fucking attention during meetings, especially when the topic at hand covers OMG! national security. Wow! What were you doing? Your nails? Someone under the table?

    I would be irresponsible not to speculate!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      To be fair, she was just committing perjury under oath, so it’s OK.

  • Charles Insandiego

    OT, but linkies to twitter via disqus aren’t working on my mobile. Anyone else have this problem?

    • Moar Wordz

      YES !!!!
      WTF
      It’s as if some 400 Ilb hacker in his Momma’s basement has a grudge, or something.

      • Charles Insandiego

        It might be chrome or android os. Just started happening in the last week or so.

        • Moar Wordz

          Yeah, word.
          It happens so often with Discus that I grind my teeth and make a new password for the IDK, fifteenth time. Hoping, hoping, that THIS time, I’ll stay signed in.
          My mind naturally goes to interference, having been interfered with countless times.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Generally won’t play Twitter video, but should be able to click to the specific tweet and play it there?

      • Charles Insandiego

        I click a link and a blank space opens up.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I’m going to violate my no-psychoanalysis policy for a second. Why haven’t any of them denied it? I mean, he came out and denied it, but none of his buttboys and girls. Scandinavian spice makes some sense, she was under oath, but why hasn’t anyone else said “he never said that”? It’s not like they find it hard to lie about All of The Things.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      Because they know good and goddamn well exactly what he said, and they know that there were many other people there at the same time who heard the same thing, and not all of those people are on Team Treason

      that’s my guess

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        So? Just call them Partisan Democrats and RINOs like they do with Navarro, and call it a day.

        • ((( Augustus )))

          I guess so, I dunno, I ‘spose you’ve got a point

          SHS says the most ridiculous, trivially-disprovable bullshit every single day without flinching

          Maybe their knowledge that Mueller is closing in is scaring the less-committed among them?

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            I strongly suspect that a denial would alienate their “base”, and now I need a shower. Again.

        • Mintie

          If they denied it, it gives a weapon to any political enemies they had in the room to come back and call them out-and-out liars, backed with hard evidence (because you JUST KNOW someone is recording these meetings on their smartphone). Now, back in the day, this maybe wasn’t such a big deal. However, in this day and age, when what color toilet paper Hilary bought at her local Grocery Outlet becomes the latest Clinton Scandal, best to hedge your bets and not come out on either side.

      • Goldarn

        Because Trump always throws people under the bus. Remember the convention? Remember Melania “borrowing” words from Michelle Obama’s speech? Remember how Trump said, “nuh-uh!” and Trump supporters jumped in and said, “nuh-uh!” and then after 3 days Trump said, “Well OF COURSE Melania “borrowed” the words” and hung his supporters out to dry?

        Do you remember that?

        His supporters don’t. They keep covering for him, and then he hangs them out to dry. Trump expects loyalty to him, but he does not return it.

  • Stulexington

    “Do you believe your inability to remember shockingly unprofessional conduct in a meeting you attended less than a week ago disqualifies you from public office, and if not, why not?”

  • meanlawyermom
    • rubikcube

      Whoops. Doctor says I blotch when I spread propaganda…

  • rubikcube

    “Um er, apologies I don’t remember specific ‘word’ but um er sputter gasp.”
    Apart from being grammatically challenged, her statement is also a little tell. She doesn’t remember specific WORD -not words- in that room where everyone now were supposedly all tossing around salty-talk like drunk sailors drunk on profanity. Nope she can’t remember WORD.
    Let me help you my Scandinavian Princess: the word you’re looking for is SHITHOLE not shithouse [like why, really?] – SHIT. HOLE. Get it right, Kirstjen.

  • andyshelt
    • Delu

      Well take heart America! In future, because of this “great President”, America will never know the horror of counting such individuals among her citizens ever.

      Along with individuals like Ahmed Mohammad who was accused of bringing a bomb to school when actually it was a hand built clock. He and his family are safely out of America now thanks to that.

      I hope that boy will one day grow up to win the Nobel Prize or something just to rub it in America’s face.

  • Run2Live
  • Kip TW

    Lots of rough talk going on at the Shite House.

  • Delu

    This is the Trump effect on display people.

    It doesn’t really take a genius to notice that they way she is “answering questions” is exactly similar to Trump and his cronies when THEY do it.

  • littlegreen

    Scares me that she’s the shithole protege of the shithole WH Chief of Staff, John Kelly. Makes it safe to assume he, too, will lie through his shithole teeth to protect the shithole talking yam.

    According to Politico, Kelly is passionately involved in the immigration talks. We know his agenda.

    So much for grown ups in the WH and the impeccable integrity of four-star generals. Kelly and the Aryan princess he groomed are turning out to be scarier than Trump.

    I doubt the short-lived “bill of love” was Kelly’s idea.

    • blaid droog

      Isn’t 45s sole Raison d’etre to be known as the first (shudder) prexy to appoint as many unqualified people as possible to undermine every government agency that currently exists? If I’m wrong I hope you’ll tell me so.

      • littlegreen

        There’s a funny little anecdote in Fire & Fury that rings true to me.

        Once Trump wins, advisers are excited about his ability to appoint Gorsuch to the SCOTUS. They assume he is too. But he’s not on board. He thinks it’s crazy to appoint a man who has never done him a personal favor. To him, it’s obvious all the prestigious appointments should go to friends.

        Michael Lewis is writing a book about the USDA and I heard an interview. You’d think it’s the most boring department on earth, but Lewis is fascinated by its deterioration. The place is in chaos. Thousands of unhappy employees, many of whom are accomplished research scientists, twiddling their thumbs all day or being asked to alphabetize papers.

        Why? Because it’s now headed by an idiot Trump supporter who has no idea what the department does. No clue, no interest, not much education. But it’s nice to have a big office and important-sounding title.

        So I conclude Trump mostly sees appointments as rewards. Competence isn’t in the equation. Many, including Wolff, have said Trump is obsessed with people “looking the part.”

        He’s fine with undermining government agencies. Nice if you can do that. But rewarding supporters and acting like a Hollywood casting agent are also in the mix.

  • rocktonsam

    I’m not sure how this gal got her current job. I wonder if “you’ll need to lie once in awhile ”
    During the interview.
    They’re all terrible at lying.

    • natoslug

      I’m sick of all of these people, so I’m going to assume that her getting her job involved a form of lying. Or laying. Six of one, lemon party of another . . .

      • The Original Just Me

        Pucker up, In coming, but don’t worry, it’s just a Liddle One.

    • The Original Just Me

      I think you should be using ” LAY ” instead of Lie.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    “permanent solution” =? “final solution”

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Next time somebody says, “I’m afraid of being called a racist”, ask them what they think is worse, being called a racist or being a victim of racism

    • danedg

      or if they’ve been on TV…

  • natoslug

    Tough language from Lindsay? What, did he say “Well, I never!” or “Oh my stars, I do declare!”?

    • blaid droog

      That was the funniest comment I’ve read today.

    • khanurik

      I’m not a lip-reader but I’m pretty sure I saw him utter an “egads” up in there

  • JParkerSD46

    Holy Shitholes, these Drumph enablers make me want to do bad things. What does El Dotardo (soon to be named World’s Greatest, Tallest, Healthiest and Fitest Dumbass Motherfucker in All the World…by himself) have in his tighty-whities that makes all these idiots cower, shiver and shake? What the everlovin’ freak are they afraid of? And, truly, why do they hate America?

  • danedg

    John Belushi is rolling in his grave.

  • psychobroad

    Jesus, reading this makes me feel like a cartoon character where the smoke is coming out of the ears and the whistle is sounding.

  • Amalga

    Undoubtedly asked before but I am just getting here…is she of Norwegian background?

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      IDK, I can find absolutely nothing about her personal life. Of course, it’s hard when most of the google links are about her being a lying liar with pants constantly on fire.

      • The Original Just Me

        And the wrong kind of Fire.

    • The Original Just Me

      The Nielsen name comes from Denmark. In that country Nielsen and Christiansen are like Smith and Jones here. There is NO Doubt that She throws Nothing but Shame on a solid honorable name.

  • The Original Just Me

    This Piece of Lying Filth is an Absolute Disgrace to the Nielsen name.

    • blaid droog

      You mean a disgrace to Leslie Nielsen right? He is a better actor.

      • From Russia with Love

        Nilsson Schmilsson

        • lurch394

          Good point. Instead of drinking the Kool-Aid, she should put the lime in the coconut.

      • The Original Just Me

        There are a lot of Nielsen’s in this Country but so far, to My knowledge, None of them have been a National Disgrace that this Piece of Used Toilet Paper Has been. The Nielsen Ratings is a Very Trusted name.

  • blaid droog

    She suffers from ray-gun brain death. She’s just missing the medically verifiable brain rot that actually carves holes in the brain. Or not. What do I know I’m no brain doctor.

  • Joe Monte
  • Moar Wordz

    She doesn’t know that Norwegians are Caucasian ?
    Everyone knows their genetic stock is mixed with Alien, saw it on YouTube, therefore is totally fact !!!!!!
    Or fairies, actual fairies who live in Fjords. They can be very elfin looking, Norwegians, I mean look at Bjork ? Whose from Iceland, but to Americans, perhaps Danes, Finns,Swedes, Lapps, and Inuits are grouped together in the ” Northern European ” ethnicity ?
    Except for the Lapp people, naturally.

    • lurch394

      I’m all for cutting the Gordian Knot: she lied.

      • Moar Wordz

        What’s a Gordian knot ?
        I know she lied.
        Also, too, Inuits probably don’t appreciate being called ” Northern European. ”
        My mistake.

        • lurch394

          Alexander the Great was presented the Gordian knot, a piece of rope tied into an elaborate pattern, and asked to unknot it. Being a man of action, Alex unsheated his sword and cut that sucker in two.

  • Jacqueline

    Goo-g-le is paying $97 per h-o-ur,with weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 t-h-is last four weeks..wi-t-h-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever d-o-ne .. It sou-n-ds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!qx531i:➺➺➺ http://GoogleDailyConsumerLoveUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥♥♥h♥♥k♥♥e♥♥w♥♥♥t♥♥g♥♥b♥a♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥♥m♥d♥♥♥c♥♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥♥b♥♥k♥♥k♥l♥♥y♥♥♥q♥♥♥o♥♥♥i♥r♥♥s:::::!ux331b:lhu

    • Me not sure

      Jackie? My God, I thought you were dead! How are the kids? … What?

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      Only the ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster has the power to forgive me.

  • Forest Vinson

    Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.
    (June 25, 1948, ch. 645, 62 Stat. 807; Pub. L. 103–322, title XXXIII, § 330016(2)(J), Sept. 13, 1994, 108 Stat. 2148.)

  • Forest Vinson

    On Lying to Congress : US Code (penalty/actual law)

    TITLE 18 > PART I > CHAPTER 47 > § 1001

    § 1001. Statements or entries generally

    (a) Except as otherwise provided in this section, whoever, in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the Government of the United States, knowingly and willfully—

    (1) falsifies, conceals, or covers up by any trick, scheme, or device a material fact;

    (2) makes any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or representation; or

    (3) makes or uses any false writing or document knowing the same to contain any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or entry;

    shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than 5 years or, if the offense involves international or domestic terrorism (as defined in section 2331), imprisoned not more than 8 years, or both.

    -snip-

    (c) With respect to any matter within the jurisdiction of the legislative branch, subsection (a) shall apply only to—

    (1) administrative matters, including a claim for payment, a matter related to the procurement of property or services, personnel or employment practices, or support services, or a document required by law, rule, or regulation to be submitted to the Congress or any office or officer within the legislative branch; or

    (2) any investigation or review, conducted pursuant to the authority of any committee, subcommittee, commission or office of the Congress, consistent with applicable rules of the House or Senate.

  • dieselox

    You (and I) (and probably most not vile racist asshole Americans) died several times this week. Corey Booker did not die. He called her pasty white ass all the motherfucking way out. That was a sweet moment. She was speechless.

  • Leftflank

    She shoulda used a ‘permanent solution’ in her hair dye, that’s all I’m sayin’.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Did she remember why she was there and why she was being asked questions, or was that too hard?

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