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MSNBC host Chris Matthews is having his come-to-Jesus moment this week after NYMag’s The Cut obtained footage of him telling a painfully unfunny “joke” prior to interviewing Hillary Clinton, involving a reference to rape drugs. Charming!

He asks, “Can I have some of the queen’s waters? Precious waters?” And then, as he waits for the water, he adds, “Where’s that Bill Cosby pill I brought with me?”

Can anyone even tell whether he meant that he wanted to take the “Bill Cosby pill” himself or give it to Clinton? Either way, it’s not terribly funny. If it’s the first, he’s suggesting that it’s so very annoying to have do the job of interviewing the first female candidate for president that doing so would only be tolerable with the help of quaaludes. If it’s the second, he’s talking about giving a woman a rape drug without her knowledge. Chris Matthews is bad at jokes.

I would really, really love for my reaction to this revelation to be some kind of shock. It is not.

I don’t know about you, but I have never personally considered Chris Matthews to be any kind of standard-bearer for progressive thought or action. He was reportedly instrumental in getting Phil Donahue — just about the only anti-war host at the time — kicked off of MSNBC. He regularly swooned over George W. Bush’s epic manliness during the Iraq war. As The Cut notes, the things he said, on-air, about Hillary Clinton before and during the 2008 election were absolutely appalling:

Matthews has a long history of talking disparagingly about Hillary Clinton, whom he once called “witchy,”and often seems to channel what a hypothetical sexist Republican might say about a woman candidate: “she-devil,” “Madame Defarge.” In 2005, he wondered whether the troops would “take the orders” from a (female) President Clinton. “Is she hemmed in by the fact that she’s a woman and can’t admit a mistake,” he asked in 2006, “or else the Republicans will say, ‘Oh, that’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind,’ or ‘another fickle woman’? Is her gender a problem in her ability to change her mind?” He once pinched her cheek following an interview, and, though he later apologized, on another occasion suggested that she only got as far as she did on the political stage because her husband had “messed around.”

That list doesn’t even include my all-time favorite, which was the time he said she had a “scolding manner in terms of her public speaking,” and then added “She’s going to tell us what to do.”

Matthews also has a history of saying some pretty sexist things to his female guests who are not Hillary Clinton. He has a habit of going on and on about how attractive he thinks these women are, and then following that up with a comment about how naughty he is being because he’s not supposed to say that.

The thing is, though — Chris Matthews hasn’t ever actually learned that he is “not supposed” to say these things. He has never faced any consequences for saying them. It is unlikely that his bosses at MSNBC ever said Hey, Chris Matthews — if you don’t stop doing that, you will be fired and replaced with someone who can manage not to do that. Maybe even a woman! Or Phil Donahue!

Now, I’m not saying that Chris Matthews had no idea that it was “wrong” to make a joke about Hillary Clinton and Bill Cosby rape drugs, but he certainly had no reason to think anyone would have all that much of a problem with it. That, in and of itself, is the real problem.

[The Cut]

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  • FlemmishSpy

    If he read wonket, he’d be flush with dick jokes.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      He IS a dick joke.

      Or maybe just a joke dick?

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        A dick joke telling dick jokes, so meta

        • Stable Genius Jack

          The only thing more meta would be a dick joke telling a dick joke about being a dick joke.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Who is this guy?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Tweety

    • Toledo Window Box

      Read his history. Worked for Tip O’Neill during the Reagan years, and was a Carter speechwriter. VERY knowledgeable guy. Some people find his interviewing annoying as he interrupts a lot.

      Not me.

      • FlownΩver

        Me, because he interrupts a whole fuckton more than he “interviews.” His hour is mostly “But enough about me…what do you think about my opinion? Wait, I’ll tell you what you should think!”

  • BloviateMe

    Even if he offered an apology, he’d interrupt himself halfway through with some inane observation.

  • memzilla Ω

    HOW DOES THIS ASSFLUTE KEEP HIS JERB???

  • OutOfOrbit

    New Rule 1: men can only joke about men;
    New Rule 2: women can only joke about women.

    there FIFY

    • Daniel

      No.

    • Executive Time Radio

      I reserve the right to make dick jokes while not at work.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Hey MSNBC you have someone who could take Tweety’s job right now.

    https://am14.akamaized.net/med/cnt/uploads/2017/06/joy-reid.jpg

    • Michael R
    • Big Puppy

      Mr. Puppy is a fan of PBS News Hour, which airs for us at 7. It’s bad enough that I rarely stay awake for Rachel’s entire show, but to miss Joy every single night . . . !?! I have a better idea. Put Chris Hayes at 7, then Joy at 8. There. Everyone’s happy.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Joy doesnt have a show, she is just a fill in whenever someone is out. But that lineup sounds perfect to me. Give Chris a show where he can just explain things without guests at 7 too. He is smart but he sucks at interviewing people.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Joy has a weekend show for several hours, doesn’t she?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I thought she had a morning show, A.M. Joy?

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Oh she does, I am never up that early and just knew she filled in at night whenever someone was out.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        No, Hayes is just the millenial hipster version of this asshole. He’s better informed but almost as masturbatory. Can someone help me recall some of his patently obvious bullshit?

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Joy Reid : MSNBC anchor spots :: Colin Kaepernick : NFL quarterback spots.

      The exception being Joy actually has a job there. But still, not a main one. And for the same reason.

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        I still can’t forgive her for kneeling during the SOTU speech.

  • Bemused

    He’s never liked the Clintons. The other issue I have with him is that he doesn’t really believe the rest of the country exists and buys into the Republican talking point that the west coast isn’t Real America. AFAICT, Real America for him is only the eastern sea-board and the steel belt.

    Also, he can’t manage to listen to anyone else’ opinions and talks over his guests constantly, He’s kind of the liberal version of Bill O’Reilly.

    • Bill O’Neil

      Only, not that liberal.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    I’ve always found Chris Matthews to be a smarmy, self-aggrandizing back of wind in a cheap grey suit.

    I’ve farted better reporting than his.

  • Toledo Window Box

    It was a joke.

    If we’re gonna tear down everybody that makes a joke, we are gonna fall apart as a society. This has gone TOO FAR.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      It. Was. A. Rape. Joke.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Oh come on. You’re really bent out of shape about this? He’s like Alex Jones now? What a load.

        • Daniel

          I think you read a different post to me. From what I read this is a case of a straw breaking a camel’s back.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Not remotely.

          • Daniel

            How so?

        • Stable Genius Jack

          You’re NOT bent out pf shape about it?

          That says more about you than me.

          • Toledo Window Box

            No, it doesn’t, other than to say that I know and watch Chris a lot and I know this is a stupid thing to get bent out of shape about.

            Are the jokes in Blazing Saddles funny? You bet. Take one of them out of context, and all of a sudden it’s holy fuck – what did you say???

          • Daniel

            You’re taking it out of context yourself- the whole article is about his history of treating women without respect and making these kinds of comments a lot. You’re taking this one comment in isolation- or are trying to. You’re defending him by stripping the context from it.

          • Toledo Window Box

            I watch him treat women with enormous respect every single day on TV. This is NONSENSE.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            I watched a giant bird talk everyday when I was a kid. That didn’t make it reality.

          • Daniel

            Then deal with the thrust of the actual post- you do not think he is sexist.
            The argument about this one joke is that it’s another data point in a trend. You are arguing against that specific point, ignoring the contention it’s part of a trend. You’re taking it out of context to suggest this one joke has been misinterpreted rather than dealing with the main claim of the article- that he has a history of behaving badly towards women.

          • FlownΩver

            Fair’s fair. He treats all guests (except the occasional Hollywood type, over whom he drools) like shit.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Blazing Saddles was fiction. This is not.

          • Toledo Window Box

            He wasn’t encouraging anybody to actually drug or rape a woman, for fucks sake.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            No, he made a joke about an actual method of rape an actual person used.

            Hysterical.

          • You have any good jokes about Sandy Hook?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      So the “its just a prank bro” defense?

      • Toledo Window Box

        No. It’s a “you people are nuts” defense. Are we not human beings now? We must all be perfect with every word?

        Lets not confuse normal, every day behavior with actual eggregious behavior and words, lest we demean the real problems.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Joking about drugging someone against their will isnt funny and it isnt a joke or something a normal human being does.

          • Toledo Window Box

            He isn’t suggesting it would actually be a funny thing to do to somebody, is he? No, he is not. THAT is the difference.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            He asks, “Can I have some of the queen’s waters? Precious waters?” And then, as he waits for the water, he adds, “Where’s that Bill Cosby pill I brought with me?”

            That isnt something a normal person does ,its not normal behavior. If you think it is then maybe the problem is with you and you need to rethink your life.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Oh come on. It was a joke. You didn’t find it funny. Fine.

            Again – does CM think drugging and raping women is funny, or fine? No – he does not. THAT is what we should be upset about – when somebody actually finds that shit funny.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            I am not going to sit here and argue with you about this, its not funny, its not something normal people do, its not “locker room talk” or any of that other bullshit. I have had enough of this and I am going to block you now.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            “Where’s that Bill Cosby pill I brought with me.” har har. That’s as funny as any holocaust joke.

          • Toledo Window Box

            It’s also not meant maliciously.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Bill Cosby’s victims might disagree.

          • Jennifer R

            There is a big ole black box between “intent” and “results”.

          • I’m not sure the “Cosby pill” crack is a rape joke (certainly not an intentional one, but intention doesn’t mean shit), but I am sure it’s in exceptionally bad taste. For one thing, it’s always a good idea to take a pause when you’re about to even skirt the issue of rape. He couldn’t come up with another reference? He had to go with “Cosby pill”? For another, only a raging asshole would essentially say “I hate the person I’m about to interview, so it would be better if she just keeps her mouth shut.” Might as well go on the air and shout it, because he’ll just show contempt for her during the entire interview.

            This isn’t even about Hillary Clinton. For me, this is about his complete lack of impulse control (further evidenced by his constant interrupting), and his being a raging, moronic asshole.

          • Jennifer R

            At this point, I have to ask did *you* find it funny?

          • Toledo Window Box

            Nope. But I also didn’t find it offensive. Chris regularly tries to be funny on the air, it usually falls flat, but it doesn’t bother me.

          • Jennifer R

            Telling rape jokes is like using the words “colored” or “oriental” to refer to human beings. The sort of thing your embarrassing relative does and just doesn’t understand why people these days get upset.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            But criticizing his rapier-like wit obviously bothers you a great deal.

          • FlownΩver

            Rapier than who? I’d give him credit for half a wit at best.

            He’s always focused on yesterday’s lead story and that one time he was in the same county when Tip O’Neill and Reagan cut a deal.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Are you even trying to change anyone’s mind on this, or are you just being a blowhard?

          • ariel_gee_398

            This thread is giving me flashbacks to the time I tried to convince my uncle he should stop going to Woody Allen movies…

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Guy claims he “knows” CM because he watches him on TV.

            I’ve been married to the same woman for twenty years and she still catches me off guard.

            But sure he “knows” the guy.

        • Stable Genius Jack

          No, we must not all be “perfect”. Asking men to stop with the rape jokes is far from “nuts”.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Fine. But consider whether or not the person saying it actually thinks it’s funny when women are raped – do you think Chris Matthews thinks this way? I am SURE he does not.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            I don’t know what he thinks. I know his statements smack of sexism and that’s something that should not be tolerated.

            You seem oddly fixated with defending the man. You also seem to know what and how the man thinks.

            Odd.

          • Toledo Window Box

            It’s not odd at all. I watch his program regularly. I feel better qualified, perhaps, than somebody that doesn’t. I know him better, what he thinks, HOW he thinks, than most here, I assume.

            Matthews does not think drugging and raping women is a funny thing. This was a fucking JOKE, nothing more, that now, out of context, seems awful to some people. I am arguing we are focusing on entirely the wrong thing by getting bent out of shape about it.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            I don’t care if you watch him so often his image is permanently burned onto your retina, you’re not in any position to claim to know the man’s mind anymore than the rest of us. This is a pattern of behavior you seem unwilling to acknowledge.

          • Toledo Window Box

            This is a method of joking that a lot here don’t seem willing to acknowledge. It’s damaging to the cause of minimizing actual sexual harrassment to make a big deal where there is none.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            No, it’s minimizing actual rape to make a joke and defend the joke as adamantly as you are.

          • FlownΩver

            OK, here’s the right thing. I watch him when I can stand his style, mostly to see whether an interesting guest can get a word in edgewise. The Brits put it well: “He fancies himself.”

        • Jennifer R

          Wrong, it’s not funny to joke about drugging and raping someone. At all. You act like people can only focus on one problem at a time, which is as wrong as your opinion on this being just a joke.
          Jokes are how we designate in and out groups and how we otherize people. Your acceptance of this rape joke otherizes women and makes the general space less safe for everyone. Words are actions and have consequences.

          • Toledo Window Box

            I disagree. He does not think drugging women to rape them is funny. You are taking his comment completely out of context, and assigning it meaning it never had.

          • Jennifer R

            He made the joke. How often do you tell jokes that you don’t think are funny or would otherwise be humorous in one context or another? In light of lack of ability to read his mind, it is correct to apply parsimony and based off of his previous actions and comments he thought it was funny.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Then tell us, oh wise one who knows how Chris Matthews thinks, what do his comments mean?

          • Toledo Window Box

            As I said lower down, I am a frequent consumer of his shows, have been for years. Yes, I think I know better than most what he thinks, and what his comments mean, just like you would be if you watched him for hundreds of hours.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Really? You’re naive enough to think you know someone based on how they act for one hour a day while cameras are running? Did you know about Kevin Spacey too?

            Did you find the comments he made funny?

          • Toledo Window Box

            I think I know how he thinks a lot better than someone that has not watched him so much, yes. That is not naivetee at all.

            I can see where he was going with the joke. It’s not particularly funny to me, but it’s certainly not offensive.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            So you’re defending an unfunny joke based on the premise that you know a man’s soul based solely on how he acts on TV?

            Got it.

        • That’s the point, and that’s why your trying to dismiss the context is wrong. He has a history of sexist behavior, and rude behavior toward the Clintons in particular.

          Yes, everybody throws one out there sometimes which falls flat. Those of us who enjoy word play have uttered spur-of-the-moment jokes or puns which we immediately knew was inappropriate. But Matthews has spoken like this, and behaved rudely to his guests, for a long time.

          If you joke about, say, a guest’s bald head, your taking a bit of a risk, but it’s likely to be OK. But if you joke about her losing a child to violence, that’s not. Do you not really see the difference? Every woman has to deal with this – even if they have not been assaulted, they have worried about it with all men, with every date, with every day working late or walk alone or having a drink with a male.

    • Daniel

      From the rest of the article, though, he has a history of being a prat to women. That makes him less good at his job than someone with equal journalistic skills who is not a prat to women.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Perhaps. I watch him a LOT, and I am sensitive to this stuff. I do not find him offensive, and I am SURE his heart is in the right place, and he’s no more of a “pig” than any other grown normal man is.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          I think I’ve just been insulted.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Yeah, me too.

          • I’m a lady person and I’m insulted for you.

        • janecita

          He is an asshole in general, the rape joke is just the tip of the iceberg.

          • natoslug

            Just the tip sounds like something Mathews would include in one of his jokes.

          • janecita

            LOL!

          • natoslug

            I’ve missed most of Tweety’s misogyny by never having watched him. I don’t feel that it is much of a loss, and look forward to continuing to never watch him.

          • Toledo Window Box

            He’s a very informed guy who gets great guests and knows how to interview them. You’re missing out.

          • FlownΩver

            Fanboy. He’s incurably rude and not half as knowledgeable as he likes to think.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I’d say he was a little less informed when he swooned over W.’s Mission Accomplished stunt and his manly “package”. The rest of the liberal sphere saw that stunt for what it really was.

          • Toledo Window Box

            No, he would never make a joke like that.

          • Toledo Window Box

            NOT EVEN REMOTELY.

          • Daniel

            Again, that seems to be the point of the article.

          • janecita

            We are all entitled to our own opinions. You like him, I can’t stand him.

          • Toledo Window Box

            I know a lot of folks like you.

          • Daniel

            Who don’t like the same TV journalists you do?

          • Stable Genius Jack

            And I know a lot of folks like you. Most of them vote republican.

          • FlownΩver

            I don’t know anyone who respects his intellect or his interviewing style.

          • puredog

            “I’ve watched them all on the teebee for THOUSANDS OF HOURS!”

          • I’m myself know Crag Ferguson inside and out, because I watched his show a lot and saw him when he came to Durham.

        • Daniel

          I worry you’re defining “normal man” and “pig” as though they’re closer to synonymous than they really are.

          • Toledo Window Box

            If you had any idea…

            A funny comic once said, “Ladies, if you knew what we were thinking, you’d never stop slapping us.”

          • Daniel

            I’ll take your word for it that normal men are as horrible as you say then.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Some more than others, but not Chris. He is not the villain a lot here seem to think he is, reflexively, without knowing a thing about him.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            YOU don’t know a thing about him. You could watch him for a thousand hours and have no clue who the ,an really is. Stop touting some great knowledge because you watch the man on TV.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Cable “news” is entertainment, not “news”. CM is a crappy entertainer IMHO, but that’s his job: to entertain–it’s an act. WTF knows who the real person in there is? I would guess an unremitting asshole, but what do I know?

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Exactly!

          • Bub the very stable zombie

            I can’t stand him because I have LISTENED to him, and it is painful. I do not give a SHIT how knowledgeable he is about world history, politics or any other goddamn thing. His job is to communicate with his guests, to elicit facts and truth from them, or to call them out on their bullshit when warranted. He is terrible at it. He doesn’t let them answer questions, interrupting and talking over them constantly. He is a dreadful interviewer. The fact that he is also an ignorant, sexist asshole does not surprise me in the slightest, and to downplay what he said as a “joke” is ridiculous. It is time for Chris to go.

    • Bemused

      Some possible reasons a joke may be unfunny:

      1. It is not actually a joke, but someone pretends that it is in order to not get in “trouble” for saying an offensive thing. It is an offensive thing? Yep. Was it meant as a joke originally? probably. So this one does not apply.

      2. It is poorly told. Certainly possible, but not the actual problem.

      3. It does not match it’s audience. Who is Matthew’s audience? Politically interested liberal people. Who is the audience for that joke? Mostly men who don’t like Clinton. Does it match it’s audience? Not really. (this is why it is considered unfunny by liberals)

      4. It punches down. Now, it’s possible that one can argue that a journalist making a joke about a politician is not punching down, but a man making that kind of joke regarding a woman, definitely is. (this is why it is considered offensive)

      5. It grazes a bit to close to reality. Do powerful men drug women? Yep.

      So, to sum up, Matthew’s joke was unfunny because it’s audience and the audience it was told to are not the same AND because he was punching down AND because it’s too close to situations that exists in reality.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        THANK YOU! I was thinking about composing a non-comment where I could logic the shit out of this. However, you did a far better job than I would have.

        I watched CM for years. Then for a period of a few months I realized to myself, “This Chris Matthews guy is an asshole. He talks too much and acts like he has an over-inflated self-concept.” Then I canceled my cable and started having a life (not that these things are mutually exclusive, mind you.)

      • shivaskeeper

        Very good breakdown.

        • Bemused

          Thank you. :)

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Nope, sorry. If that’s where you want to take this, after the past year/election/decade, you don’t get to use Carlin for your avatar. I may have soured on him with age, but he would never have fallen for that bullshit. The simplest way to demonstrate that you are completely full of shit is to simply deconstruct the phrase “this has gone too far.” Ask yourself what “this” it, where it “has gone”, and who determines “too far”.

    • Jonny On Maui

      If this is your idea of a joke please keep your humor to yourself.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Nice rape joke, braw.

    • shivaskeeper

      I get that you don;t find this “joke” offensive. That’s fine. Where do you get the authority to tell anyone else that they shouldn’t find it offensive either?

      He was caught on tape, acting candidly. This is who he is when no one is looking. How is this any different than another person claiming to be a champion of, say, racial equality, who tells racist jokes but only after they look around to make sure none of “those” people are in earshot?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      His misogyny has been noted over and over and fucking over again. We’re not talking about one tasteless joke–we are talking about a biased reporter who has been getting away with this shit far too long.

      If standing up against sexism = falling apart as a society to you, kindly fuck the fuck off.

  • Michael R

    https://twitter.com/ColMorrisDavis/status/952258711829073920

    A good time to remind everyone of this excellent article

    Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America

    https://www.teenvogue.com/story/donald-trump-is-gaslighting-america

    • Reximus

      If not for Slobo-Don’s golf, we’d all be dead

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Slobo-Don. That’s a gem. If Wannabe Traveler comes around the threads, I’ll have to point that one out for the “Trump insults list”. Credit to Reximus of course.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Make America Gaslighted Again

  • James Baskin

    Hey Matthews…… you’re fucking old and in the damn way.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Matthews to guest: “Now tell us what your perspective on the issue is…”

    Guest: “I…….

    Matthews: “It’s amazing how we look at this issue and come up with so many different conclusions. Go ahead….”

    Guest: “I…….

    Matthews: “I mean___everybody seems to have a different idea how it should work. Our founding fathers had no problem. Thomas Jefferson said it was a cornerstone of the republic…. What do you think?”

    Guest: “I……

    Matthews: “I want to thank our guest for playing hardball. Come back soon. This is ‘Hardball’__We’ll be right back.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b3af316b49dabe6782fbe703d7eb51cb7bdeae09467cc8825674b2aee8ef5f97.gif

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      EXACTLY!

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Near the end of his show is apparently a segment called “Let Me Finish” and whenever I turn on the idiot box and that happens to be on, I wonder “You mean like you let your guests finish? Like THAT??” and then I change the channel to prove the point.

  • janecita

    He is always talking shit about Cuba, a country that he has only seen in pictures, he can go fuck himself. He should retire, he is a fucking moron.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I missed that part, but fuck him if so

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      So he probably is a DINO. Shit-talking Cuba because HURR DURR TEH REDS without acknowledging any culpability of the US embargo is GOP SOP. And some of the stats I’ve read about, for example, female representation in government, I’d say they’ve done a pretty good job of surpassing us gringos even despite the sanctions. But all I can think of as the most idiotic level of Cuba-bashing idiocy is the Justin Castreau birther meme that will NEVER. FUCKING. DIE. Last week, some twunt who writes for “Town Hall” named Liz Crokin dug that crap up from the ground a whole year later. Plus some pizzagate and satanic Illuminati BS thrown in for good measure. You’ve gotta see this thread. It’s hilarious until you realize that people like this are actually dangerous because they roam among the general public.

  • spangled

    This man is the most shrill person on the planet and that is a true science fact.

    STOP SHOUTING AT ME CHRIS MATTHEWS.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Darryl Hammond does a perfect CHRIS MATTHEWS impression on SNL.

      BECAUSE I’M CHRIS MATTHEWS AND I HAVE HARD BALLS.

      • spangled

        James Adomian does a good one too, it’s just incomprehensible shouting and “TIP ONEIL”

        • Ellie

          He can’t shout louder than Tip did.

  • OrG Unstable Genius

    Yeah, all that and he’s not very good at his job also too.

  • msanthropesmr

    I don’t know who this person is.

    And I am glad, glad, glad!

    • Toledo Window Box

      Your loss, actually. He is one of this nation’s better TV journalists, with an amazing background and knowledge. Also, he’s not completely full of shit like everyone on Fox, and does not let his guests get away with nonsense.

      • msanthropesmr

        Yeah, well, that’s just like your opinion, man.

        I’ll get my news and insight from Stephen Sackur, thanks all the same.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    So… did he really say that weird-ass “tingle up my leg” thing when Obama got elected or was that a RW meme?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk
      • Toledo Window Box

        Of course he did, and he meant it, and it wasn’t horrible.

        Chris is an A++ student of American (and world) political history. He recognized the greatness of that speech, and commented on it. He would have said the same about a great Churchill speech, or a great Reagan speech for that matter.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Chris? Is that you?

  • altleftjohn

    Here’s a golden oldie. “You can smell the English Leather.”

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YpQL7hXPrL8

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      What a turd.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Um….. NO.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Sheesh. Replace him with Joy.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      But NBC stands for Nothing But Caucasians, or at least that’s what Andy Lackwit seems to “think”.

    • BosGrl

      Should’ve scrolled down. *sheepish face*

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Doesn’t matter. GMTA, and obviously there’s a chorus of people in agreement. Not much technicolor in those peacock feathers.

  • JaveyDay

    “Is she hemmed in by the fact that she’s a woman and can’t admit a mistake”

    What special kind of stupid bullshit idiocy is that?

  • Anna Rompage

    Chris Cillizza, Chris Matthews, what is it about these Pudjerking fuckturds named Chris, and their inability to be decent human beings?

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    The spit, slobber and drool coming off tweety’s lips when he talks could fill an Olympic size swimming pool or two.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    As I mentioned earlier, MSNBC seems to share the prevailing addiction to mediocre white assholes. How do you put somebody named “Chuck Todd”, never mind the individual in question, on a show formerly hosted by a black PhD and don’t even bother to change the name?

    • Executive Time Radio

      Chuck Todd, he’s just so extraordinarily mediocre.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        How do you go through life with a name like that, and not go into stand-up comedy or conceptual art?

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Because George Carlin got fed up with guys named Todd.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            I guess

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Chuck Todd has long descended into the pinnacle of mediocrity.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Chuck Todd is a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread with a side of paste.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        That website someone made for Pence, when he started running

        • Stable Genius Jack

          I still have the link for that one somewhere. It was epic.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Every time I hear Chris Matthews yammering on about the Kennedy era, which is pretty much any time I’m unfortunate to catch any of his show, he sounds like a man who is liberal not because he actually believes in equality and equity but because he gets off on being the beneficent white guy who gave these nice things to the ladies and the black folks, and expects adulation in return.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      ^THIS^ & ^THAT^

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I know someone exactly like this, too

    • Shankojebina

      I think we should call them Cookie Monsters.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Yaasss….

      • handyhippie65

        but i like the cookie monster. my mom called me that as a kid. she made the best soft oatmeal and raisin cookies. i’d eat a whole sheet while they were cooling if she wasn’t careful.

    • Ellie

      I think you’ve got it in one.

    • Victoria Ricola

      This. For decades.

  • msanthropesmr

    OT
    BBC is giving serious consideration to Rush’s Xanadu.
    They just called it Prog Rock.
    I think I’ve heard everything.

    • Daniel

      Do you not consider it prog?

      • msanthropesmr

        Well. I guess it is. But I generally like Prog Rock and I really can’t stand Rush.

        I think more of Aphrodite’s Child and Soft Machine when I think prog.

        • Daniel

          What about Genesis? (Obviously Gabriel era)

        • Stable Genius Jack

          Floyd.

          • msanthropesmr

            I’m of two minds about Floyd. I dig it, but I don’t dig it at the same time.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            I dig it because of the memories. I do like Waters though.

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        I love me some porg rock.
        https://i.imgur.com/1Y01gd0.jpg

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      If Jethro Tull can be Metal, Rush can be Prog Rock.

      • msanthropesmr

        “The flute is a heavy metal instrument, man”

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          True. Silver has a density of around 10.5 g/cm^3

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Needs more cow bells.

      • msanthropesmr

        What is Jethro Tull anyway?
        I like em, but they don’t fit neatly in a category.

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          From Wikipedia…

          Jethro Tull is an English rock band formed in Blackpool, Lancashire in 1967. Initially playing blues rock, the band developed its sound to incorporate elements of hard rock to forge a progressive rock signature.

          Confused? You will be…

          • What was funny was the first time Metallica was the favorite to win the metal album of the year at the Grammies, Jethro Tull won. The next time Metallica was up, they won, and in their acceptance speech they thanked Jethro Tull for not recording an album that year.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          None of the best bands do. Well, okay, MOST.

        • Stable Genius Jack

          They’re rock flute.

    • natoslug

      At least they’re not pushing Skygge’s Hello World as prog.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      ELO’s Xanadu wasn’t Prog Rock either.

  • Bemused

    Chris’ main problem is that he’s a guy that was a politically liberal blue-collar type guy 30 years ago and he hasn’t learned anything since.

  • BosGrl

    Dear MSNBC:

    Joy Reid needs to have her own daily show. Matthews doesn’t deserve one.

    Thanks,

    Everyone

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Hear, hear!

      Plus, she’d get better ratings.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Overheard in Andy’s office: “But what about the economically anxious Fox viewers we’re trying to draw in? Won’t someone PLEASE think of the economically anxious Fox viewers we’re trying to draw in????”

    • tza

      Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!

  • Raan

    Say, you know who actually can’t admit a mistake?

  • JaveyDay
  • gene108

    I don’t get the appeal of Matthews any longer. He is past is sell-by date.

    The sexist stuff should just make it easier to slide him out the door.

    Give Stephanie Ruhle or Joy Reid his time slot.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Tough choice. I’d like more Joy, but Ruhle is awesome too.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      But, we need to challenge Fox for the mediocre white olds demographic!

  • vukojebina_MΩment
  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Is anyone asking whether Hawaii was hacked?

    • William
      • JaveyDay
      • My place of employment had a “dead furniture room” in the basement, which used to be a fallout shelter (still had the signs.) One time when I went in search of a small table for a project, I found A 25-POUND, UNOPENED CAN OF “SURVIVAL BISCUITS” tucked back in the corner. It had tons of dust on it, and hadn’t been touched since the 50s. Spooked me out.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Were they still good?

          • Probably. After I was done being creeped out, I regretted not taking it. Then they renovated and got rid of everything. I’ve always wondered about its collectors item value.

    • Ellie

      Didn’t bother Dinky Digits; he was busy golfing.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        “What do we care about that foreign country anyway” – Honest DJ

    • Master Contrail Program

      That’s why what happens in New Vegas stays in New Vegas.

    • eyelashviper

      People were freaked out, wondering if they could get home to be with loved ones for their last minutes. It was horrible, hard to imagine how anything like this could happen.
      Somebody’s head needs to roll for this “mistake”.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I’ve been waiting for a local report on injuries but haven’t seen one yet.

        • eyelashviper

          Were you aware of the alert? It would have far better to not know about it until it was all over.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Thank doG Fox didn’t report on it or WWIII.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Trump is such an idiot he confuses WW3 with WWE.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      “I got 99 problems but a red balloon ain’t one”?

  • Ninja0980

    Chris Matthews never lets a guest get in a word before he interrupts them and blabs for another five minutes.
    No idea how anyone can watch him for more then 20 seconds.

    • ariel_gee_398

      And his last segment is bafflingly called “Let Me Finish.” The irony burns.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Kind of like how Springer’s last segment was called “The Final Thought.” More like the only “thought…”

  • Cat Cafe

    You know how everything Trump and the GOP say is a total projection, so much so that the media should be treating every “accusation” as a confession? Turns out ALL MISOGYNY IS PROJECTION. THEY are the ones who are so “emotional,” who “like to tell people what to do.” THEY are the ones who are shrill and can’t admit they made a mistake.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The head of the santanic church got banned by twitter for someone threatening to burn down their church.

      http://www.newsweek.com/satanic-temple-threatens-sue-twitter-over-religious-discrimination-780148

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Sounds legit

      • Sunhead

        Satanic Temple =/= Church of Satan
        Satanic Temple are Anarchists using RFRA for fun.
        Church of Satan are para-catholic theists.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Oh sorry, thanks for the correction. I thought they where similar.

          • Sunhead

            Cool.
            Satanic Temple were the ones behind the Baphomet statue at the Alabama courthouse next to the 10 commandments monument.
            Alabama Courthouse
            Church of Satan are riding on their coat tails, lazy theists.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      I read The Satanic Verses. Bought a copy after it was banned. Didn’t like it that much. Still have my hardcover copy though.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        It’s alright. It’s not even about Islam, regardless of what the Satanic Church twitter says.

        It’s about 2 men, one is a good man, and the other is a famous Indian movie star who is a very bad man that has dreams of himself being Mohammed and having sex with the angel Gabriel.

        The two men are on the same plane when it explodes mid-air, and as they are falling the really bad man starts flapping his arms on the way down (like a bird) and magically slows, and the good man sees this as he is falling and grabs ahold of the bad man, and they both descend gently and are the flight’s only survivors.

        After this… the good man’s breath starts to smell of sulphur, and he begins to grow horns.

        The bad man, on the other hand, has a halo appear above his head.

        People chase, hurt and persecute the good man.

        People love the bad man who goes around destroying peoples’ lives.

        The End.

        • Stable Genius Jack

          The part that stuck out the most to me was questioning how white people clean their asses and being surprised to find out that they do.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Is it a graphic novel? ‘Cause then I can see why the fundamentalists would get pissed…

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            No, and there is only one part where the bad guy (who is crazy) has these crazy dreams about being mohammed and having sex with gabriel.

            It’s like a paragraph or two, and it’s a dream of a bad, crazy dude.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Persepolis had a drawing of a God figure, and the fundamentalists put a fatwa on her head. I really don’t get why they get so freaked out about pictures and statues. Or even faces, period. I mean, is there like a collective induced autistic disorder among the fundamentalist sects? The extreme aversion to eye contact is severely abnormal. Obviously it’s not all of them, but for the ones who do think like that, that’s just bizarre. One of the first things babies learn is to recognize faces. Even baby animals. You can’t just obliterate faces from every aspect of society. If “God” or nature didn’t want people to see faces or imagine what a person looked like, then animals wouldn’t have facial features at all. We’d literally all just be talking out of our ass.

            Scientists did that thing where they re-created what Christ is supposed to have “looked like” (assuming he existed), poking a hole in that longstanding image of the blond blue-eyed Jesus. But they’d probably have been attacked if they did the same with Muhammad. Obviously like I said, it’s not every Muslim who thinks this way but that feature of the religion is just really weird and I’ll never understand why.

        • Ellie

          Thank you for that synopsis. I tried to read it once when it first came out, but didn’t get very far. I just didn’t care what happened to anyone. Now I know what I missed.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            I can also do “Shame” and “The Ground Beneath Her Feet” and “Midnight’s Children”.

            I think that’s it for my Rushdie. I might be missing something.

          • Daniel

            I’d recommend Shalimar the Clown also too.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            He has a new one that’s about a Trump-like figure who starts a cult or something like that.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          So, a trump bio basically?

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      “You must have us confused with the Catholics… we actually have rules against pedophilia”

      Leave it to a Satanist to deliver the BURRRRRRN.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Let’s face it, they need fucking confession, demonology and exorcism _because_ they have no adult baptism. How else are they gonna do the whole “he used to be an asshole but he doesn’t anymore” thing?

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    One good thing about threads like this is it shows who is a garbage human who deserves to be blocked. Every single time there is a garbage person thread someone hs to defend them with “its just a prank bro” and my block list gets bigger and bigger. If you think this is normal behavior rethink your life.

    • Shankojebina

      Seriously. I expect our resident #metoo basher any minute.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        We have one down thread defending tweety.

        • Shankojebina

          I saw that conversation. They’re not the regular I was thinking of, though.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Which one where you thinking of?

          • Shankojebina

            Eh, never mind. I don’t want to jinx things.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            I know exactly of whom you speak.

        • Bub the very stable zombie

          Yeah. The cheese seems to have slipped right off that fella’s cracker. He apparently think he groks Tweety real good because he’s watched him for “hundreds of hours.”

    • JaveyDay

      “Is this the hill you want to die on?”

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Yeah really, some people pick really bad things to defend and just keep going.

        • JaveyDay

          It tells you a lot about a person when they get so passionate defending such shitty behavior.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          It’s amazing with so many people piling on, they double-down and keep digging. I’ve posted stupid shit many times and have learned to back away as gracefully as I can, re-think my shit, and carry on with my life–which is too short anyways.

    • johnnyknj

      So Matthews is a “garbage human” based on this? And anyone who dares defend him in any way is too? Wow.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        He is a garbage human for his history of being a sexist asshole . And yes if your defending his “Cosby pills” comment then that also makes you a garbage human too.

    • Victoria Ricola

      Now I’m scared to scroll.

  • Matthews needs to retire to write more Kennedy fapp books.

    Meanwhile, ready to pop an apple pi in the oven… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36523313ef93e19923f958b001ff13e19e501396120d10f58ebfe624dd77c80c.png

  • So who in the Trump Admin set off a fake alarm in Hawaii to get the news off of his shithole mouth??

    • Exactly what I was thinking.

    • Cat Cafe

      Right?

    • JaveyDay

      It’s an infinite recursive loop of shit to mouth. He’s a one man humanoid centipede.

    • BloviateMe

      That’s exactly what I told the wife. Create some good old fashioned fear.

    • Jonny On Maui
      • BloviateMe

        But we’ve already decided it was Trump, agitator.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      They say it’s a mistake, someone pushed the wrong button? Oh, that button that says an attack is imminent and this is not a test? Must be a pretty big button. Someone typed it out and hit send. Who?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Probably someone who thought they were ordering a Diet Coke.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I put Chris Matthews ahead of of Keith Olbermann – who was absolutely cringeworthy on MSNBC – but behind Rachel Maddow on my list of cable hosts who have worn out their welcome. (I know she is a fave here on Wonkette, but her schticks annoy me. Giggling, off camera laughs from her crew at not-particularly- funny remarks, some schmuck walking behind her with a banner of some vague significance, saying everything three times, three different ways, because we are too dense to get it the first time.). Matthews is about as glib as Donald Trump, by which I mean he has terminal foot in mouth disease. I can’t stand to listen to him anymore.

    • Sheepshagger

      Maddow does exemplify the enthusiastic adjunct professor with an adderall issue a bit.

      • Gigglesnort

        Maddow is at least informative, instead of just argumentative, which puts her way ahead of most of her on-air competition. But yeah, she geeks out on stuff and if you are not equally geeked out by it, it might be annoying.

        • Sheepshagger

          Oh I agree. She’s great compared to the others but ffs I do know things Rachel!

          • Jennifer R

            You might not be her target audience. Part of her popularity is that she is babby’s first Serious News Person. She presents her topics clearly, and reiterates the important bit several times so that it stays. And does so without coming off as condescending.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Okay, all you Rachel bashers. Just so you know, you will meet the glove to face of Toomush, who thinks the research and back stories of Maddow will be as instrumental in taking down the Trump administration as anyone out there. And what have we done? Complained on Wonkette? Which is not allowed….

        • I agree with Toomush.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Toomush agrees with you!…

        • Sheepshagger

          Presentation is the essence of tv news. Hers is too self consciously nerd tastic to break through. Such is life. The quality is a different issue.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Say, is the perfect the enemy of the good? Maybe we need to hear from Sheepshagger. (I meant it about the glove to face – Grrrr….)

          • Sheepshagger

            Opinions I suppose. I like maddow. But I feel like she isn’t going to reach those who know nothing and she is t going to affect those who know a lot. So she’s excellent at presenting a compelling story to people who are already there. That’s great for what it is but no more. And if you want to glove me, feel free. I had great hopes for her but fundamentally she’s not going to affect much so far as I can see.

          • cosmiccowgirl

            Isn’t TRMS the highest rated show in cable news not on Fox? It’s not for everyone, but it seems like she’s broken through pretty well.

          • Sheepshagger

            Oh without doubt. But the people who need their minds changed are not watching and won’t watch her.

        • Victoria Ricola

          Now this I completely agree with you on.

    • OutOfOrbit

      go on

    • eggs ackly-wright

      She’s very smart, but the repetition drives me nuts.

      • fawkedifiknow

        I watch her because she does excellent analysis with very good background references and all that, but her Olbermannlike crap (remember him throwing his script at the camera all the time?) irritates me.

    • Beautiful Soup

      Thank you! Also not a huge fan of Rachel. The giggling, the blinking, the dragging out of every. Point. She. Makes. She and Joy could change places.

    • Shankojebina

      Am I the only one who misses Melissa Harris-Perry?

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Not a huge fan either. I like the idea of Maddow, I like what she does, I like what she reports on, I just don’t much like watching.

      The only cable news I do watch is Ruhle, Velshi and Joy Reid, so that could have something to do with it.

    • shivaskeeper

      As for her saying everything three times, it’s a standard rhetorical device when speaking to large, diverse crowds.

      Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, tell them what you just told them.

    • calliecallie

      I’m sorry, I loved Keith Olbermann. He was the first one to say the Emporer W wore no clothes, and I will always be grateful to him for that.

      Also too I love Rachel Maddow. Not necessarily watching her, but I love what she does for the conversation. (And I think she reads wonkette. Just saying.)

      As for “The Interrupter” as my 92 year old mum has called Chris Matthews for more than 7 years now, he can just go. It’s time. Or maybe #timesup?

  • CW

    Julian Assange’s butt monkey is running for Senate in my state.
    https://www.twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/952256045820366848

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Fuck that dude chick.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Even assuming she gets the nomination, what kind of a masochist runs as a Republican in Maryland? If they were any bluer they’d need CPR.

      • CW

        B list talk show hosts like Dan Bongino. The GOO doesn’t even bother.

      • puredog

        Well, it does bring the number of Republican congressional convict candidates up to five.

        • CW

          Manning is running as a Democrat.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            can we get maryland DNC to uphold a no traitors standard?

          • CW

            The Deep State is one of the largest employers here. I don’t think that’ll be a problem.

      • cosmiccowgirl

        According to the article, she’s challenging Democrat Ben Cardin.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Challenging him to do what? Explain who is the bigger traitor, her or Trump?

          • Phried Ω

            You would think that Manning’s 15 minutes are well in the past. Hasn’t she had enough attention?

          • CW

            Do whatever her handler Assange wants. My guess is shut down the NSA.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Who has, IIRC, been in office forever.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Will Chris Mathews complain that she has a shrill voice?

  • cosmiccowgirl

    I’m not surprised, but if this is the sexist remark that broke the camel’s back, then good. I hope he gets fired. Burn it all down.

  • rocktonsam

    who?

  • Victoria Ricola

    Chris Matthews hasn’t ever been anything but a bloviating misogynist. I look forward to seeing him replaced.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Joy needs a good time slot!

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    I see Disqus is more confuzzled than usual. Ah, well.

    • Phried Ω

      What’s with the little block box when I upvote?

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        You got that too? I thought it was just a thing with Firefox/Waterfox, which has sucked for ages now. I went back to Waterfox because stupid Mozilla was changing the add-ons format, but I may swap back to Pale Moon and even alternate with Opera. If it’s a Disqus problem, though, the browser won’t matter because Disqus itself is known to be shit.

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        I don’t see anything. Running Chrome over Windows 7, FWIW.

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          I do Chrome on Android, and it works pretty well for me also, even when others are having issues.

        • Phried Ω

          Firefox on Yosemite still.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        No idea. I’m still trying to figure out why it won’t update.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Oh for fuck sake! If we are going to be held to a standard of never indulging in jokes in bad taste, it may be time to shut down the Wonkette noncommentary altogether. Chris Mathews says a lot of stupid things. It’s why I quit listening to him, which is my proposed reaction to all idiots. He has also had a couple of major takedowns of terrible politicos, for which I have a caveat for his outspokenness….

    • JaveyDay

      Nah.

    • Rick Hill

      Jokes in bad taste but, p-p-p-p-p-please!
      https://i.imgur.com/n6TbON8.gif

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Fair enough. I’ll just go back to not watching him.

    • rocktonsam

      Whoa, slow down … I’m not on faceplate, I like these kids … met Rebecca and the gang in madison . This is a quality news and mommyblog place. I just come straight here for everything. Saves time and needs moar dick jokes.

    • Victoria Ricola

      I’d agree if he wasn’t a powerful enough journalist to be seriously interviewing presidential candidates in primetime.

      His flavor of haha misogyny has more social impact than my tasteless and awful Wonkette jokes. He’s not Dave Chappelle and should be held to a higher standard.

  • I remember seeing him creeping on Erin Burnette in real time, it was confusing as hell to both Ms Burnette and myself, the viewer. There’s also that weird ‘thrill up your leg’ quote about Obama. Matthews is one weird dude, and not in a good way.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i think you meant bush – I thought thrill up your leg was bush landing on the aircraft carrier?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk
        • So I’m not crazy after all.

          • johnnyknj

            He also had a tingle up his leg at the thought of Rudy Giuliani running for President.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Sounds like he needs to get his circulation checked.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            but I apparently am. Weird.

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!”

            -Hunter S. Thompson

          • Celtic_Gnome

            You’re not alone. I was sure he orgasmed out on W.’s “package” when he landed on the carrier for the Mission Accomplished thing.

      • Now, I’m not so sure… He sure did dig that Commander Codpiece routine.

        • And he had a hard-on for Caribou Barbie when she was first roiled out.

        • William

          There was no codpiece. I hate to defend Bush, but I wore a flight suit and LPA exactly like the one Bush wore for most of my Naval aviation career. If your flight suit was too long or the thigh straps of the LPA too long it would do that, especially if there were clothes worn under the flight suit.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s not the ‘chute rigging?

          • William

            No. The LPA has chest straps and thing straps. The thigh straps keep the vest from riding up on your body. Flight suits that too long in the torso will cause the extra material and any loose undergarments to be squeezed together and look like a cod piece. After the flight we would simply unsnap those thigh straps. As you can see by the photo, this guy has them loose. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68b8a70074994720558917c3e9bd9015f25fd773de4186c41f951740c02af16a.png

  • WilbyToad
  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    OT: I love it when Republican policies are proven stupid. Here in WV:

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/952215844288958464

    • OutOfOrbit

      this will justify a dial-up of effort

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Yeah. Let’s expand it to WIC and Medicaid!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Florida already did it, all it did was waste money.

      http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article25114639.html

      • Sunhead

        It is not a waste of money.
        It went in to the pocket of some rent seeking republican toady so they can spend a fraction of it at a SuperPAC to get the next shitgibbon elected.
        Worse, contrary to all evidence (yeah, I am an optimist), the GOP will think it was successful because it chased the drug users away from the welfare program so only the right people received from the government teat.
        The wingnuts everywhere will keep putting these drug testing for welfare programs out there as it is their sincerely held belief that people on welfare are moral failures, and as moral failures, they indulge in wanton sex, random drugs and just about everything else advertised in Reefer Madness.
        Not sure about your shithole country, but I have noticed that the tone of the drug-testing-for-welfare brigade is now publicly about getting them help and into rehab programs, not making savings. Problem being that the wait list for rehab programs that are affordable is over 6 months and there was no funding for extra rehab, just the testing regimes. Assholes.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk
        • bupkus231

          …Worse, contrary to all evidence (yeah, I am an optimist), the GOP will think it was successful because it chased the drug users away from the welfare program so only the right people received from the government teat….

          No, they won’t. They’ll see that they’re still spending a fuck of a lot of money “helping the poor”, and work on more ways to fick them out of any assistance. If you’re “taking” welfare, you AIN’T the “right people”….

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Think of the money they’ll save!!

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Why do rightwingers think welfare recipients can afford drugs?

      • Amy!

        Well, they have to have something to fill up the trunk of the cadillac, right? D’you know how big those things are?

        • Stable Genius Jack

          That’s stupid! How do they make room for all those lobsters they’re buying if it’s crammed full of drugs?

          • Amy!

            Well, shoot. You got me there!

            Still, lot of room in the back seat! Even the glove compartment, in a cadillac!

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Scratch the back seat, that’s for all them babbies they’re having to get more monies from hard working white folks who are on welfare.

          • Amy!

            Look, this just isn’t working out for me! I gotta have more room for drugs than just this piddly little glovebox!

            Uh. They, I mean. They! They do!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Not to be outdone, they’re going to introduce a paper bag test.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Let me guess, four people smoked a little weed, and therefore don’t deserve access to the social safety net?

      • bupkus231

        Somehow, given that it’s “West By God”, it’s probably the few opioid abusers/addicts who were too honest to lie about their problem.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        It’s the devil’s herb, after all.

        • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

          My favorite is the Devil’s Lettuce.

    • bupkus231

      Okay, out of those “nearly 900 TANF applicants” ( which was actually “only” 873 ), only 107 applicants were asked to take the test ( based on the results of a questionnaire given to applicants – with questions like “Do you abuse more than one drug at a time?” and “Do you ever feel bad or guilty about your drug use?” ).

      Out of these 107, 6 people refused to take the test – so those 4 people who tested positive were

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Yep. Wasted money on this bullshit, but 6 month waiting period for treatment. In the meantime, people who want help are dying while waiting for space in rehab, or trying to get suboxone. Medicaid will pay for suboxone, so we’re kicking people off Medicaid now.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I could easily pass that test. I never abuse more than one drug at a time, and I never feel bad or guilty about my drug use. Quite the opposite, in fact.

    • So, even if they figured they’d get 390 failed tests, how the fuck much was that costing them per predicted failure? 390 does not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, and one assumes those tests ain’t cheap…

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Depends on who’s paying. If the testing facility knows its government, we’re paying a premium.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    huh, trump was Literally golf when we (thought) we were attacked.

    those optics are BAAAAAAAAAD (for him, great for the rest of us).

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      He’s not really golfing when he’s golfing. He’s running the free world!….

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m genuinely curious if the guy with the nuclear football has to go with him out there.

        I mean, they say you’ve got minutes to decide when something is incoming…what if they had to run back to whatever passes for the oval office in Mar a Lago from the links? (or more accurately, drive the little golf cart).

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Need to keep him golfing when not sleeping. Feel safer.

    • Daniel

      He’s left an entire island (in big water, ocean water) without power or clean water (small water, potable water) for months now and his base supports him still.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        right, but those is brown people what are latin-os.

        Remember, they think he’s a tough strong president will to strike back (or first).

        • Left Coast Tom

          Hawai’i has a lot of brown people who are Hawaiians.

        • Stable Genius Jack

          Hate to kill your hope, Tex, but they still won’t care. “Obama was from there! Blow it up! MAGA!!!!”

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            They really want California to be destroyed. You should see the filth they spew out in celebration of the wildfires and mudslides. All because California has Mexicans, queers, Hollywood, nerds, and 55 electoral votes Trump won’t have to worry about when he MAGA in 2020. They want the Pacific Northwest gone because “Starbucks” and “Seattle hipsters.” They of course want Mexico itself gone. And they want British Columbia gone because Chinamen, treehuggers, and “Trudeau is a fag.” These people are insane. Deranged, foam-at-the-mouth, literal threat to other people insane. As far as I’m concerned they should be treated like terrorists for trying to foment an attack by a hostile foreign power against the U.S. and two of its allies (Canada and Mexico). But as long as Republicans are in charge that will never happen. Nor as long as we have an ancap interpretation of the First Amendment in place, where “acceptable free speech” is anything that generates clicks and therefore profits for Twitter and Facebook. Bigly yuge ratings.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            They really don’t want to be part of a country. Sure, they want the benefits , but none of the community spirit needed to function as a stable nation.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Let alone a global community. I once saw a thread on Blightfart or Preddit or one of those SFB websites where some guy was trashing his daughter because she bought Rosetta Stone for the kids. I think a part of them knows that the only time America was really “on top” was when literally the whole rest of the world was flattened by a war with a racist fascist. So in order to recapture that glory, they have to re-create those same conditions. They don’t want the rest of the world to even exist. No other languages but ‘Murican English, no U.N., and anyone who thinks otherwise is a (((globalist))) who wants everyone to hold hands and sing kumbaya. Hence why they drag Mexico and Canada into their disturbing fantasy of the Pacific getting completely destroyed. And why they cheered on Trump when, during the primaries, he floated the idea of using nukes on Europe as a final solution to the Muslim problem.

            They are so extremely paranoid and insular that literally everyone is an “other” to them. They really do belong in a padded room. That’s what they’ve made for themselves anyway. The only thing is, they have enough of a connection to the outside world that allows them to aid and abet its destruction. They’re nihilists. And nihilists have a tendency to annihilate.

    • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

      The worst part is that he will learn nothing, have no understanding or empathy for the terror and panic that millions of US citizens experienced at the belief–fomented by his reckless behavior–that they were about to be attacked.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        ^THIS x 1000

      • Daniel

        c.f. Guam

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The white house commented, they blamed Hawaii. Such leadership.

      http://www.businessinsider.com/white-house-hawaii-missile-threat-false-alarm-state-exercise-2018-1?google_editors_picks=true

      The White House appeared to distance itself from a colossal mix-up that resulted in a false alert being sent out in Hawaii warning of an impending ballistic missile threat.

      President Donald Trump was on his golf course at the Mar-a-Lago luxury resort in Florida when the situation unfolded. The White House deputy press secretary, Lindsay Walters, released a statement afterward saying Trump had been made aware of the situation.

      “The President has been briefed on the state of Hawaii’s emergency management exercise,” the statement said. “This was purely a state exercise.”

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk
        • JustDon’tSayShithole

          That ought to be an internet rule. For every Trump statement, there’s an equal and opposite Trump statement.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            He is a modern day Nostradumbass.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            The term I heard was lunkhead ex machina.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Law of Internet Physics

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Rule 45.

          • JustDon’tSayShithole

            Eleven more than Rule 34?

        • Ellie

          One for every occasion, just like Hallmark.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            “There’s an app for just about everything”

            Which means, there’s probably a Trumpisms app that sends out a relevant Trump tweet corresponding to every situation.

            Kind of like there’s always a relevant XKCD or Rule 34.

    • shivaskeeper

      Hawaii fucking up a test is not the same as a false alarm attack across the whole system.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        but, come on, taken as true, this wouldn’t trigger ALL the things at Pentagon, CIA, WH, whatever?

        • shivaskeeper

          Not really. Tests are conducted as tests. If there is any sort of protocol, you let anyone monitoring the system know that there is a test going on.

          The fuck up seems to be they sent a message out to the people in HI when that should not have been part of the test or actually included the words, “This is only a test” in the message.

          Think of it as a more sophisticated version of the emergency broadcast system tests over the radio but they forget to tell you, “This is only a test”.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i see what you’re saying. I was thinking of when the thing actually went out – assuming it was true.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Trump is a post-optics president

  • SDGeoff3

    I can’t get too riled up over Tweety Bird. We turned him off a long long time ago. My partner used to go nuts when he came on due to Matthews’s rude, pontificating style. He’s not worth the energy because most of what he spews is baloney anyway.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      from what little i’ve seen, he’s the worst among the “just let them try to answer hte damn question asshole!” pundits.

      • SDGeoff3

        Mmm-hmm. I loved it when he’d introduce a question, finally get around to the question, pause, and as his hapless victim begins to speak, he digresses, and then repeats the question louder. And then time runs out.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, I’ll continue to be monumentally pissed at him. He ground off my last nerve years ago for talking over EVERYONE he had on his goddamn show. And the sexist, misogynist shit is just more icing on his shit cake. And, also too, and in addition, The. Asshole. Just. WON’T. Learn. Fuck him and the poor innocent horse he rode in on.

      • SDGeoff3

        Lol! So true.

      • Me not sure

        Let it out. …Doesn’t that feel better?

      • puredog

        What is it with the vicious equinophilia on this website? Yesterday it was Sassy — and now this?

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • Kryptonian Canis

      Unbelievable! Real “presidents” who weren’t born in a Shithole like Keyna would “charge” BILLIONS ………..

      ………SAD!

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Fuckstick made such an event out of the fact that he would take no salary, as rich as he’s supposedly is he can easily fly his own ass around, pay for his own golf club stays, and have enough left over to renovate the white house.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Remember when there was a false alarm ballistic missile alert in Hawaii when Obama was President?

    Not even Pepperidge Farm remembers.

    • William

      Clearly another crazy liberal hoax to divert us from Hillary and her e-mails

      • Stable Genius Jack

        Get Alex Jones on the horn NOW! Fuck it! We’ll do this LIVE!

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      If ir had happened under Obama, there would have been no panic. Everyone would have known it was an oops. Trump has everyone on edge.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    To be fair to Chris Matthews (under the Interwebs “To Be Fairness Doctrine”), he’s just using the kind of barroom talk that we guys talk when we are talking talk in barrooms that double as locker rooms. We also raise our voices into high-pitched, penetrating whines and drown everyone else out while we reminisce about the good old days when we used to gerrymander voting districts until the Republicans got better at it while we look like gigantic molted cartoon canaries with the mental acumen of Sylvester.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      To quote the stock Brooklyn rejonder,

      “What’s this “we” shit? Are you fucking pregnant, or do you got a 2-inch-tall asshole in your pants pocket?”

      Keeping up appearances, what?

  • OutOfOrbit

    38 minutes into a false alert and the tRumpsterfire didnut launch WW3? i find that … good

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, it is oddly encouraging.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i know! cannut believe it (hardly)

    • ariel_gee_398

      He was golfing and could not be disturbed.

      • weejee

        Deep in the rough, too, also.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        He’s already disturbed to begin with.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      That could be a sign that he has no authority at all in these matters.

    • William

      So he couldn’t find his YUGE nuclear button?

    • Phried Ω

      He doesn’t think Hawaii is America because it’s surrounded by big water or it might be a town in Kenya.

    • puredog

      I think the thing is that the state alert mechanism takes its cue from federal alert systems, so that they would be behind a genuine alert. When the state system goes off half-cocked for other reasons (like here), and there is in fact no triggering federal warning, then there would be nothing for the Trumpster to react to. So he really gets no credit (phew).

  • Paperless Tiger

    How did they come up with the ‘liberal media’ when there’s no liberals in it? There’s Maddow, but she sticks out like a sore thumb. They should call it the ‘corporate media.’ That’s all it is.

    • calliecallie

      They used to have Keith Olbermann.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Because in that fever swamp they call a collective conscious, anything that doesn’t lavish them with 24 hour praise is “librul”.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Anything to the left of Hitler, pretty much. So if you actually think that gay people are human or Christianity doesn’t have the answers to everything, you’re a liberal commie and you deserve to die like the heathen witch you are. Same old shit it’s been for centuries.

    • in too many circles (yes, I have pi in the oven) ‘liberal media’ means ‘Jewish-owned media’

      • Stable Genius Jack

        It always comes back to the Jews with these clowns.

        • Parakeetist

          Does anybody notice that since there are about 10 million Jewish folks in the world, if they really did control everything, they’d all have to have 5,000 jobs at once? And there aren’t enough hours in the day?

          Does any knucklehead smiff think these things through?

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            You need thinking equipment for that

          • Celtic_Gnome

            If they really controlled everything, wouldn’t they immediately take out anyone they thought would be a threat to their people?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Jerzy Lecz – “I know how all the stories about Jewish wealth got started. Jews always end up paying for everything!”

        • puredog

          It’s okay — it helps to remind us that they are REAL Nazis.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            I thought Auntie Fah were the real nazis.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Interesting. How do they square that with the fact that Andrew Breitbart was raised as a Jew? From his Wiki:

        He was adopted at three weeks old and raised Jewish.[12] His biological parents had been Irish American.[13] He said that his birth certificate indicated his biological father was a folk singer. His adoptive mother had converted to Judaism when marrying his adoptive father.[14][15] Breitbart studied at Hebrew school and had a Bar Mitzvah.[16] Theologically he was an agnostic.[14]

        I thought with those folks once you stepped inside a synagogue you were, you know, tarred with the Joo brush.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          It’s only OK to be a Jew if you have a 100% hard-on for Israel. Because of the Jesus rapture. If you’re a liberal, you’re one of those Jewy Jewenstein Jews, and you get tagged with (((parentheses))) on your metaphorical Internet overcoat.

        • Dg Hacket

          Probably viewed him as a deep cover operative

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        I want to know about these pies. R they squared?

        • Marion in Savannah

          Is this circular reasoning?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I am diametrically opposed to this remark.

          • puredog

            That’s pretty leftist radial thinking.

        • data_ninja

          They might be the british pies by the famous knighted chef, Sir Cumference.

          • JustDon’tSayShithole

            pipin hot pie puns

    • shivaskeeper

      Honestly the right has been moved so far right that anyone to the left of Genghis Khan is a liberal to them.

    • Mormos

      maddow is a self-described Eisenhower Republican.

  • weejee
    • vukojebina_MΩment

      …for Jose “Dirty” Sanchez.

    • Dg Hacket

      That wasn’t what i imagined their logo looked like

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    What I appreciate is a that Matthews has the stones to tell a woman who has spent so much time in public service and who has accomplished so much based on years of work paying dues and intelligence and policy study and political savvy, that the only reason she gets to be the first female POTUS nom is by virtue of the misdeeds of her husband. Keep those little ladies humble, right?

    • BloviateMe

      Hush now, the men are talking.

      I KID I KID!!

      • Phried Ω

        As they say at the curling rink, “protect your stones.”

  • Me not sure

    🎶I want to go back to my little grass shack
    In Kealakekua, Hawaii
    Where the humuhumunukunukuapua’a
    Go swimming by🎵

    On second thought, I’ll just stay here.

    • gallbladder

      Less false intercontinental ballistic missile warnings.

      • Me not sure

        Nobody wants to nuke this shithole.

      • Very Stable Bozi

        I am sure Donnie will be testing us in the states soon enough.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          He’s going to shout “Melania Kalikimaka Akbar” when he nukes Christmas Island, isn’t he?

          Or when he croaks… or AOT,K

          • Me not sure

            “Mister President, thanks for letting us say Christmas Island again.”

          • puredog

            Unfortunately, per his physical, he apparently won’t be croaking of natural causes (no votes necessary) soon enough.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Assuming his physician isn’t as much of a liar as he is. This is the same guy who said he’s the healthiest president ever, right?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            You basing that on the statement released by Dr. “Ronnie” Jackson or something I haven’t seen released by Dr. Ronny Jackson who did the actual exam?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I’m guessing the last words on his lips will be: “Stormy Daniels.”

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Or his other porn-star girlfriend, “Rose Budd”.

          • Daniel

            The highbrow Melville/Welles mashup porn the literati has been waiting for!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • Mehmeisterjr

      I am old enough to have nightmares about repulsive, no-talent SOB Arthur Godfrey singing that song,

      • theCryptofishist

        I think I ran into that name last night.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Me too. [shudder] Were you ever exposed to his rendition of “Cracklin’ Rosie?” No, I’m really NOT making that up.

      • Me not sure

        I hated that guy.

  • Parakeetist

    OT: my little poodle mix, Chief Inspector Murphy, is confoozed that his Dad went out of the house, and is barking his head off. :)

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Whenever I go outside on my back patio, my two cats sit on the windowsills inside and meow loudly and constantly until I go back inside. I can’t tell if they are worried about me, or pissed off that they don’t get to go outside with me. If I had $10,000 I would enclose the patio and turn it into a screened-in porch so they could accompany me, but I don’t have $10,000 and I never will.

    • Bless you for naming a dog “Chief Inspector Murphy”.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    OT: A question. Does anyone here know of a better (than iTunes) free music player for a Wuindows 10 operating system? Something with better sound quality and whatnot?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The sound quality isnt really up to the music player its the bit rate the music is encoded at.

      https://computer.howstuffworks.com/mp32.htm

      • Stable Genius Jack

        Well, yeah. I just meant equalizer options, playback options, that kind of thing.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          VLC is pretty flexible. Although if you’re also using it to synch an Apple gizmo, there’s Foobar2000, which is also customizable in a lot of ways. VLC doesn’t have an add-on to plug in your iDevice. Foobar2000 does. But if it’s just for media playback, either should work. VLC plays movies and streaming URLs also too.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Don’t sync at all. I have just my laptop.

            Dloaded VLC, installing it now. Thx :)

    • Very Stable Bozi

      You might want to try VLC player. Is a free download and I use for all media types.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I use Windows Media Player, but I connect my computer to my very good Sony surround sound receiver with 6 speakers using a dual RCA cable or an HDMI cable. I could connect them using a digital audio cable, but I haven’t bothered to buy one. I never listen to music directly from the computer speakers, the sound is never good quality. I run my SmartTV’s audio through the receiver’s surround sound speakers as well, and the sound is so good that if someone in a movie knocks on a door, I think someone is knocking on MY door.

      However, I noticed years ago that the quality of digitized music is NEVER as good as what I got with vinyl. This is very obvious with older recordings of classical music, but I also notice it with digitized versions of classic rock. It seems to have been “over-equalized.”

  • susan_g

    Tweety sucked Dubya’s ass for all 8 years. Remember that carrier landing skit? Matthews was gushing on and on like a smitten fanboy. Someone needs to take Old Yeller out behind the barn.

    • JustDon’tSayShithole

      Except at one point Ol Yeller was lovable.

      • Phried Ω

        Mathews has rabies.

    • bbayliss

      paraphrase:
      “Now that’s what a president should look like!
      That’s a real man.”
      I can’t look at him without hearing it. So I don’t watch him.
      That and “Tip O’Neil and Ronald Reagan used to have a drink after work”

    • Phried Ω

      And the blather after the Syrian chemical weapons retaliation air raid.

  • akryan

    Didn’t he used to go on and on about Al Gore not being manly enough during the 2000 campaign.

  • altleftjohn

    “That will do extremely well, Chris. You have delighted us long enough.”

  • Nephilim

    “Where’s that Bill Cosby pill I brought with me?” Stupid Chris Matthews joke. “Why can’t we use nuclear weapons?” Stupid DOTUS comment in a foreign policy meeting. We need to keep pressure on the danger in the White House, than the people who report on him.

    • JaveyDay

      I think we can manage to do both.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      We can focus on more then 1 thing at a time.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
  • msanthropesmr
    • tehbaddr

      They make one of my favorite cheeses!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Don’t forget their chocolates.

        • Shankojebina

          What about the artificial vaginas?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            It will take at least 10 years to perfect the technology that will allow the artificial vaginas to yodel. But it will be worth it.

          • theCryptofishist

            Then they can work on ones that can play an alpenhorn.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Also too Velcro, cellophane, army knives and the potato peeler.

          • Shankojebina

            Not all at once, though.

      • theCryptofishist

        Only one? So, which is in the dog house, Emmenthal or Gruyere?

  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    Every time there is a post about something sexist and disgusting a man has said or done, we see people right here on Wonkette, and other places, who simply don’t think the sexist and disgusting thing was that bad. At first, I thought it was because they are sexist, disgusting assholes themselves, and while that is almost certainly true, I have figured out that’s it’s much more than that. These folks desperately want to be harassed and humiliated by powerful men, and they don’t understand it isn’t acceptable to try and push that fetish off on everyone else. Dudes and lady dudes, what you do with other consenting adults on Saturday nights is YOUR business. That’s your right, and your choice. But you don’t get to tell other people they have to allow those things to happen to them. You don’t get to tell other people they have to like it, accept it, laugh at it, or submit to it. Get busy making your own fantasies come true, and then you won’t have all this time on your hands to tell other people what they have to tolerate.

    • shivaskeeper

      No perv, no perv. You’re the perv.

    • Me not sure

      Well put. BTW: I’m glad you survived the fauxlocaust.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        It hasn’t been a good day.

        • Me not sure

          Tell it, sister.

    • tehbaddr

      You won’t like my Phil Donahue comment above!

      • OutOfOrbit

        I like(d) Phil

    • Bemused

      I suspect it’s more that people are acclimatized enough that they don’t realize. It’s like if you live in a cold place and, in the winter, you were wandering around outside in just a sweater and discover later that it was only 30 degrees out.

    • msanthropesmr

      It also might be because people don’t like to think that things are really that bad.

      I got news for you folks.

      A lot of times, things really are pretty bad.

      But, also, we have puppies and kitties and french fries.

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        and Those Cakes We Like

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Don’t forget the pies!

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            And the canned clams!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      What you say might be true, but in my experience this is often due to a complete and utter lack of empathy for bad things that happen to other people which have not happened to THEM.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Very well said and that might explain a few things.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Assuming snark on your part, the obvious real reason; these people think that their opinion matters more than it does (and, not so secretly, more than the opinions of victims) and cannot deal with the fact than nobody actually gives a fuck

    • Shankojebina

      I think they like to minimize things so that they don’t feel like they actually have to DO anything about it.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        Or maybe they are protecting their own ability to harass others, and get away with it.

  • WilbyToad

    “The President has been briefed on the state of Hawaii’s emergency management exercise. This was purely a state exercise,” White House deputy press secretary Lindsay Walters said in a statement.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/368907-white-house-hawaii-false-alarm-purely-a-state-exercise

    No expressed care or concern. Unbefuckinlievable.

    • Ellie

      No, I can’t agree. It is very believable.

    • Cat Cafe

      And not even an accurate representation of the truth.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Now, that I can believe.

    • gallbladder

      Also too, unfuckingsurprising.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Their souls are at the cleaners. Sorry.

    • shivaskeeper

      I hate that I am about to do this.

      Why should the WH have anything to do with this at all? This was a state exercise. Someone at the state level fucked it up. The military, the FCC, and it appears a few other federal and state agencies are launching investigations into just what the fuck happened.

      The WH would have had nothing to do with this.

      I hate this fucker as much as anyone here, but this isn’t on him. What do you expect him to do or say?

      • Ellie

        I wouldn’t expect him to do anything, but I would expect him to say something to the citizens of Hawaii, hopefully, something reassuring.

        • shivaskeeper

          Honestly, I don;t see that he can actually say anything right now other than some variation of, “Your state fucked this up somewhere. We’ll find out how and why”.

          I wouldn;t trust him to do that, so better he says nothing at all.

          • Ellie

            That’s pretty much what I think he should have said, although not in those exact words. But, you’re right, he probably couldn’t even be trusted to do that.

          • Stulexington

            Pretty much any other president I’d trust to read reassuring words with conviction, but knowing Trump, he’d probably segway into looking for Obama’s real birth certificate.

      • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

        This is what is on him: He has created an atmosphere, with his reckless language and irresponsible tweeting, in which the first thought that people had was that they were actually being attacked, and not that it was a mistake, or that it might be some other sort of emergency. He should acknowledge the fear and anxiety that millions of us are experiencing that he is going to start a nuclear war. He has NO conception of the sheer destruction and suffering it would cause the entire earth.

        • shivaskeeper

          That is a good point. I did not take that into account. Thank you.

          • puredog

            Still, you made a good point as well. What’s Donnie going to do: “I’m sorry, I’ve been a bit reckless — I see that now — in creating an atmosphere of distrust and belligerence. My bad. I’ll stop.” Since there is really nothing else for him to say, and since that will NEVER EVER happen, better he keep his shithole zipped.

          • shivaskeeper

            That wasn’t my point at all, honestly. I let my own experiences and biases cloud what other people were seeing on the ground.

            I lived with incoming fire for years. When shit was not actually falling out of the sky, the threat was always there. False alarms, and countermeasure systems going off randomly for real, on accident, or because of a test were just a part of life. I doubt I would have even glanced twice had I got this text if I was in Hawaii.

            Sometimes I forget that not everybody has the same experiences, that false alarms and poorly conducted tests are not really a part of most people’s lives. It’s good to be reminded of that on occasion.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          He’s 71 and has been a selfish prick all his life. He’ll never have any conception of other people’s suffering and he doesn’t have to. His ego-stroking base is all that matters to him, and they’re collectively suicidal with this rapture fantasy and tantric orgasm over destroying their imagined enemies. Hawaii? The 9th circuit is there, and also too probably Obama and some other brown people. Who cares, kill ’em and let God sort it out. This is a hostage crisis on a planetary level. You can’t reason with irrational people. But it’s not a situation where you can have more than 60 million people sent to a maximum-security mental institution either.

          • theCryptofishist

            A minor correction: There’s a district court in Hawaii. Appeals from that go to the 9th Circuit. Which is in San Francisco. Oh, fuck that man, running against the court. Fuck him with a butt of voted malmsy.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Remember when he told Guam they are famous now and people are talking about them when North Korea threatened to bomb them?

          http://www.newsweek.com/trump-tells-guam-governor-youre-going-be-very-famous-amid-nuclear-crisis-650110

        • puredog

          I, for one, will not be holding my fucking breath.

        • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

          Like I said, if I had read that alert on my phone a couple of years ago, I would have been concerned, and looking for good information, but not in a panic. My first thought today was that we were all going to die.

          • theCryptofishist

            That must have been dreadful.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            I still feel ill. The adrenaline rush and the fear. My poor Mom sobbing on the phone.

          • Rick Hill

            Wow, I’m certain it was traumatic. I hope your mother is recovering.

          • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

            I am so sorry that happened to you and everyone else. I am of the generation that had classroom duck and cover drills. I remember as a child being terrified that we were going to be nuked. I don’t want the end of my days to be a repeat of the beginnings of my days or wish that on anyone.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            Thank you, friend.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, that weird shaky empty feeling for the adrenaline rush. Your Mom–I can’t imagine. I have my dead, but I don’t have my in the last few moment of life reference points.
            Be good to yourself for the rest of the day. You and Johnny be good to each other. Relaxing massages? comfort food? Silly, simply movie–whatever works.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            Thank you, honey.

          • Rick Hill

            Even had it been real, the capabilities of NK’s bombs aren’t going to eradicate an entire island. Not that it’s something to ignore but it doesn’t mean everyone’s going to die.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            The warning said missiles (plural) were inbound.

          • Old town Urbandale

            That’s really comforting, like hearing “you’ve got cancer, but only 75% of those stricken die.”

        • Very Stable Bozi

          When we were lucky to have a President Obama, I did not worry that an alert saying “This is not a drill” would real.

      • Sheepshagger

        I dunno, maybe salving the injured souls of a few million citizens who legitimately believed they were about to die?

        • shivaskeeper

          I would rather he stay quiet than try to fake some sort of empathy.

          • Sheepshagger

            I was thinking of Obama in all fairness.

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s like comparing cheese and chalk.

          • Sheepshagger

            Shithole v cornucopia.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Well he did say leadership is taking responsibility. He could do that. Or make a comment like “I am sending thoughts and prayers to the people in Hawaii for this mistake and suggest looking into this to see how we can prevent it in the future.”

        https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/398887965302091776

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        I really don’t want to hear a word from him. Ever. Again.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Neither tots nor pears sent.

    • Stulexington

      Yes, I often hear the words “this is not a drill” during an unscheduled emergency exercise.

    • Justin Thyme

      Obama!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Good to know we dont have actual leadership in this country.

      https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/398887965302091776

    • TootsStansbury

      Sociopathic monster’s are incapable of care or concern for others.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      This reminds me of an incident from 35 years ago. I wrote about it here once before. At 2 am on a cloudless, perfectly still, hot summer night, the emergency siren 2 blocks from my house went off. As instructed by the media for years and years, I turned on the TV to see what was up. There was no message at all. I checked all the local radio stations. Nothing. Now, this was during the Cold War and a time when anything could happen, so I sat there in my living room wondering if I had 15 minutes to live, or not, and whether I should call my parents and tell them I loved them, but nothing happened for 30 minutes so I just went back to bed. Next day I called the local Emergency Management office and said “What the hell was that last night?” They said, and I am not making this up, that the local police department had just bought all new Crown Victorias with some new-fangled automatic transmission, and if a cop car was driving past one of the emergency siren sites at the EXACT moment that the car’s automatic transmission shifted from 2nd to 3rd gear, then the car’s transmission produced some kind of inaudible sound wave that was the exact same frequency as the one used to set off the sirens.

      This was such a bizarre explanation that I figured it had to be true, because nobody would be stupid enough to make up a story like that.

      I told the Emergency Management people “So why didn’t you ask the TV and radio stations to run a message saying that the siren was a MISTAKE so that the 100,000 people in this city wouldn’t worry about becoming toast in a few minutes?” They said “We never thought of that.”

  • Jgb979

    I know he has a (very distant) history of involvement with Democratic politics (from the pre-progressive era) and he appears on MSNBC.

    Is there anyone who has ever actually enjoyed listening to Chris Matthews take on things? Even if he was solid on the issues, could you take hearing that high pitched, monotonous, stream of consciousness delivery?

    Step 1 in creating a liberal media is finding a media that is actually…….liberal

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      It’s a catch-22 and vicious circle by design. As long as it’s corporate, you can’t go too liberal otherwise you risk upsetting the applecart by offending the sacred paymasters and the rubes in flyover country. But you can’t shape hearts and minds to animate the public to be more anti-corporate and left-liberal without a messaging apparatus to get the word out. American media is intentionally risk-averse. You’re never going to have a truly “liberal” media that speaks truth to power. No matter what it’ll just have a peppering of tokens here and there to “look” good. But as soon as they start coloring outside the lines they’ll find themselves on the outside looking in. Hence why Donahue got canned for refusing to beat the drums of war. Or why you’ll never hear anything about net neutrality, because Comcast. Gil Scott-Heron was right; the revolution won’t be televised. Capitalism won and is here to stay.

    • Ellie

      I never liked him. I liked him less when he was criticizing Clinton’s voice because men wouldn’t like it.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    OMG fuck that guy. I used to think he was just sort of addled and I felt sorry for him. He has graduated to full-fledged dickhead. Congratulations, dickhead!

  • tehbaddr

    “Hey, Chris Matthews — if you don’t stop doing that, you will be fired and replaced with someone who can manage not to do that. Maybe even a woman, Phil Donahue!” FTFY

  • vukojebina_MΩment

    Iggles game in Pilthy:

    Collinsworth: It’s a very uneasy crowd
    Al Michaels: “You can feel the agita.”

    • BloviateMe

      Al Michaels just laughed at Blount’s fumble. Could be a long day.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      A.M.: “The crowd’s gonna need sedatives pretty soon.”

    • JustDon’tSayShithole

      I thought HR would write us up for unwanted feeling of a coworker’s agita.

    • JaveyDay

      How agitproper.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Dafuq

  • SadDemInTex

    Fuck him with a pointy pogo stick of votes

    • JustDon’tSayShithole

      Now, that’s a visual, right there!

    • tehbaddr

      Pogo indicates up and down, Tweety riding that pointed thing, well there you go!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Curare coated tips, of course.

  • msanthropesmr

    This proposal I have been reading all day is the biggest pile of doodoo I have ever seen. I am so pissed off. This is a giant waste of time.

    • BloviateMe

      I felt the same way when I was assigned to read Moll Flanders.

      • msanthropesmr

        This shit is worse than Ethan Frome.

        • Executive Time Radio

          I’m not convinced that anything could be worse than Ethan fucking Frome

    • OutOfOrbit

      Have Shredder
      Will Travel
      (to the end of the block)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, it’s the Trump Border Wall proposal?

      • msanthropesmr

        Might as well be. I am so pissed. The person who did this got it to me two weeks late and it is garbage. And the deadline is in two weeks. The person chased the latest shiny object and neglected this. I am soooooo pissed off. I have had so many conversations with this person about focusing, and he gave me a lecture about how “I don’t understand how business works”

        • theCryptofishist

          Projection?

        • My response would have been “I understand enough to know that your proposal is shit.”

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Is it a better love story then Twilight?

  • Very Stable Bozi

    OT – Did tRump tweet anything about Hawaii’s “This is not a drill” alert?

    “Sorry, my bad. I promise the next alert will be real, bigly.”

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The White House said it was Hawaii’s fault.

      • theCryptofishist

        Well they would. What does the state say?

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      No.

      Probably not until he came blame Hawaiian Obama for it.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      THAT shithole?

    • Stulexington

      No, it’s not part of the main land, and is the place that Obama came from, therefore not real America as far as he’s concerned.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        It was Jeff Secessions who called it “just some island out somewhere in the Pacific,” wasn’t it?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Chris Matthews has always been a pig. I just hope this makes Rachel stop defending him FFS.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I’m sorry, Tweety. No redemption for you.

    • shivaskeeper

      I would disagree with that. Everyone can qualify for redemption. But there is no redemption without working towards it.

  • amrak63

    Tweety, IIRC, said that Hillary reminded every man of his first ex-wife.

    If I could recall infancy, I expect Tweety would remind me of my first used diaper.

  • ken_kukec

    “I have never personally considered Chris Matthews to be any kind of standard-bearer for progressive thought or action.”

    Me neither. He’s a middle-of-the-road centrist — David Broder with a bad haircut and traces of a Philadelphia accent.

    • amrak63

      And a mud-spattered MC Pig to boot.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      Someone needs to give his spot to Joy. I can’t stand his spittle induced rants.

  • WilbyToad

    Nothing but distance from The White House. Not my problem. An entire state is traumatized, wonder which family member they can reach to spend their last moments on Earth with… and Trump can’t be bothered.

    Yesterday I wondered how he could be known as anything worse than President Shithole. Today he’s President Inhuman Monster.

  • JaveyDay

    About twenty years ago I was hanging out at home with my roommates and some friends. We decided to put on a George Carlin stand-up special. He did a routine called “What’s so funny about rape?” I like George Carlin, but this was one of his worst routines ever.

    My roommate’s girlfriend had just been raped less than a month prior. This “comedy” devastated her. She started shaking, turned pale and ran from the room, crying from the trauma.

    I learned a lot that day.

    • was it funny

      • Marion in Savannah

        Really? REALLY?

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        No, it wasn’t, but you win the asshole of the day award. Thanks for playing!

        • Honey I have a lifetime achievement award

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Ya know what I find most fascinating? How gross assholes these days feel emboldened about being gross assholes, as if it was some disability on par with paralysis or a cleft palate. If I said that “you pick your nose in public”, would you brag about the size of your boogers?

          • these days? we’ve always been like this

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Untrue. When Obama was in charge you kept to your own sewage treatment plants. Now we have to endure your stench all over the landscape. Like all bottom-feeders, your foul odor is completely disproportionate to your size and strength.

          • Oh now I’m automatically a Republican. That’s how you deal with people you disagree with. You pigeonhole them.
            Pathetic.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            No, as clearly demonstrated by many on TV and elsewhere all Republicans are not assholes.

            However, it seems like most assholes are Republicans.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            But, thanks for trying to counterattack when called on your bullshit. Are your feefees hurt? Do you need a safe space?

          • attack? what makes you think i’m attacking you
            you seem a little lost

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Right, calling me and/or my words “disgusting” and accusing me of being a partisan hack is not an attack. You really are a cowardly little crybully, aren’t you?

          • im just gonna keep typing

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            You do that, snowflake

          • you mad

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            O OK so it is a troll. Kthbai. Sorry for feeding it, Trix and doc.

          • you’re the one trolling hon

    • Marion in Savannah

      PTSD isn’t just for soldiers.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I did not know he did this. I has a sad.

  • ariel_gee_398

    They look like the cast of an episode of Black Mirror. One about an isolated colony of androids deemed too unsettling to live among humans, but too expensive to just demolish and break down for scrap.
    https://twitter.com/CREWcrew/status/952276629883179010

  • Sheepshagger
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Yes, but that’s enough about FOX News, Donald.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Why should he tweet about Hawaii? He doesn’t even think it’s part of the US.

      • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

        Just an island in the Pacific.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Actually several

          • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

            I know that of course. I was mocking Jeff Sessions.

          • little miss high and mighty

            woke up late
            noticed just now the singuar ref. fail of our playful, elf-like confederate loyalist Sec. of (altered) state.

        • theCryptofishist

          We should just give it to the Japanese.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Surrounded by really big water!

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      “mentally deranged”

      Yep.

      • AuntyMaude

        It do take one to know one.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Shithole Stable Genius.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      “They promote the Fake Book of a mentally deranged author who knowingly writes false information”

      I had no idea “The Art of the Deal” was back in circulation.

    • Cat Cafe
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Sheepshagger

      I’m fairly sure they just didn’t tell him. Much easier.

      • Jon Sussex

        Don’t want him grabbing his button in public.

        • Sheepshagger

          I bet he’s got absolutely no idea. The HH Mcmaster/John Kelly axis may be horrible fascist enablers but they have enough collective military sense to just loop him out. I’m certain that when it all comes out later you’ll find there’s been an effective military coup and Donald has zero control of the nukes and military deployment. And so long as he has his illustrious illusion he’ll be fine with it.

          • little miss high and mighty

            O, ye of waaay too much faith…

          • Sheepshagger

            Don’t get me wrong. The risk is atrocious and real. But I bet he never even got told about the Hawaii alert until it was over. I bet they just don’t bring those things to him.

          • little miss high and mighty

            They prolly kill the messenger around that place.
            Sometimes pity the ex Generals in the WH no matter how wrong-minded they usually are. But, yeah maybe they might be the only thing standing between us and apocalypse

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Like when a plane flew into protected DC airspace when W. was out biking, and they didn’t bother to tell him about it?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Is anyone on the face of the earth surprised by this?

    • Very Stable Bozi

      When the North Koreans hack his Twittler account, then will be the time that a tweet will read “Please do not worry about the Bomb.”

    • Rick Hill

      What? Like every little thing is his responsibility?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Well, just imagine what would have happened if this occurred during Obama’s watch, and he reacted the same way Donnie did. Oh, sorry, I’m probably asking the impossible, here. I can’t imagine that either.

        • mailman27

          This is a thought experiment that has never occurred to our “liberal” media.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            That’s because said experiment would require a modicum of that seemingly rare substance called “thought”.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Hawaii voted more than 2:1 for Hillz, so he is not going to say a thing. This is why the California fires and now mudslides have not been mentioned either.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Hell, why bother telling him at all? He’d just screw it up somehow. He’d insult Kim Jong-Un again, or make a joke about bombing the country of Africa- something both outrageous and really, really stupid.

  • BloviateMe

    WTF? Is this an older story and I just missed it?

    Trump Supporters Attempt to ‘Arrest’ London Mayor

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/trump-supporters-attempt-to-arrest-london-mayor/ar-AAuDxQJ?li=BBnb7Kz

    • theCryptofishist

      No, today. I couldn’t find a dateline on that link, but it was on googlenews, and in the Washington Post. Of course, the Guardian and Independent would have covered it as well.
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2018/01/13/these-trump-supporters-built-a-gallows-and-tried-to-arrest-londons-mayor-people-laughed-at-them/?utm_term=.907e2019f8ee

      • BloviateMe

        Thank you, that’s a much more thorough description of events. I love the ending:

        Khan stood up and resumed his speech. “It’s a pleasure to be here,” he said, “even though we were distracted by the actions of what some would call very stable geniuses.”

        The crowd laughed at this. Outside in the lobby, his gallows still empty, Russell continued to argue with police. He also asked for a refund on his ticket.

        • Sounds like they were the British equivalent of sovereign citizens. In other words, idiots.

          • Daniel

            We actually have SovCits here, which makes no sense. These guys are just racists hiding behind Magna Carta because they know fuck all about what it is.
            It’s a grant of some fundamental rights, and a shit load of privileges for the aristocracy.

          • Jamoche

            But you’re not even citizens at all, you’re subjects, right? Do they know that?

          • Daniel

            These are people who, I’d assume, think peasants made up the bulk of the Peasants’ Revolt. So no.

      • Jamoche

        “They still managed to delay the speech for 15 minutes as they accused Khan of treachery, tyranny and disrespecting President Trump.

        Guilty as charged, yr’honour.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      @Daniel was on here earlier posting about these losers. They’re some kind of wingnut militia that claims the Magna Carta prohibits having Muslims in any sort of political position in the British government. Sort of a Sons of Albion version of the Sons of the Confederacy, and with just about as much historical accuracy. The symbol they use, “White Pendragon,” not only sounds very KKK-ish but isn’t even British. It’s actually the symbol of Germanic invaders who tried to take over Britain. The weirdest thing is that they claim some sort of connection to King Arthur or something like that, who didn’t even exist — so they’re basically Renfair LARPers with a generous dose of Crusader ideology that they attempt to carry into the real world. Like I said, losers.

      • tehbaddr

        Nice rundown!

      • BloviateMe

        Wow. That’s fun. I bet their newsletters are epic.

        • theCryptofishist

          CAn I subscribe to that without the ideology?

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            I guess, although I think it’s just called Renfair cosplay.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Say what you want want about the tenants of Moronic Bigotry, but at least it’s an ethos

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Nah, probably just as many errors, stupid memes, and racist diatribes as Daily Tweetstormer and the Daily Fail, except with a fancy Olde English font.

      • Kiri the Unicorn
        • CripesAmighty

          Send them away for a Shrubbery. They won’t make it back for a while.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            After that, they must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring.

        • JaveyDay
        • little miss high and mighty

          ” If Graham refuses to learn to ride
          Nobody in the cast gets to actually ride.
          Use coconut sound effects and silly strides in the bog
          That will get you laughs”

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          They are the knights who say MAGA!

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Pack them on a C-130 Herky Bird and drop ’em over ISIS territory if they’re so hot to take on Mooselimbs*

            *parachutes optional

      • Daniel

        Just to clarify:
        “Pendragon” is King Arthur’s surname (his dad was Uther Pendragon).
        The Matter of Britain (legends about British kings written in the Dark Ages) contains a story about Merlin, asked by King Vortigern to explain why he can’t build a castle where he wants. Merlin explains that under the ground where the foundations are to be there are two dragons fighting- one white, one red. The ground is dug up and the dragons are found. The white defeats the red.
        Merlin interprets this thus- the red dragon represents the Britons, the White the Saxons. The Saxons will take Britain and drive the natives west (which is why the flag of Wales has a red dragon on it).

        Vortigern invited Saxons into Britain as mercenaries, the story goes, and instead of leaving when he wanted them to they stayed, and took over the country.

        Arthur was a Briton (“We are all Britons, and I am your king!”) so choosing his name and “white” for the colour shows they have no clue what they are identifying themselves with, and it’s especially stupid given their opposition to Europe- where the white dragons were from.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          You really know your stuff. You could lecture these choads quite a bit on their own heritage that they claim to be so in defense of.

          Doubtful they’ll listen to a word of it, though.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • mfp, normegian would

    yeah, never could stand chris matthews…rude, obnoxious, patronising…an overachieving 60’s frat boy…he’s greg marmalard

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’s Flounder.

      • Cat Cafe

        He’s the Donald Sutherland character

      • amrak63

        Nah, Flounder was too likable to be Tweety.

        I could believe Tweety as Marmalard or the Sutherland character, but not Flounder.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    I think we are all Freddie Mercury right now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4Mc-NYPHaQ

    • tehbaddr

      Who is this “we”?

      • JaveyDay
        • little miss high and mighty

          half and half is fraudulent cream

      • Stable Genius Jack

        I dunno. I thought a little community spirit was in order.

        I’ll just slink away and die now. Would that make you happy? For me to die?

        There! I died. I am now dead. I hope you’re happy!

        • tehbaddr

          Nope, that was not the point. Though often of similar mind with regards to certain things, diversity and some level of sanity is what drives this non-comments community. It’s OK to disagree.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Since you put it that way, let me buy you a Jolt Cola.

          • tehbaddr

            Twice the sugar, twice the caffeine! Twice as nice!

      • vukojebina_MΩment
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    No, Twitter, I do not want pornbots following me. Thanks so much for asking!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Yow.

  • Very Stable Bozi

    Sorry, Chris.
    I hate the TV.
    I hate the President. You know that he’s killing me.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eULaUWuQh0A

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Heading to a meeting to plot strategy for the next phase of Flip the 49th. I’m sure we will be able to come up with a reason for Issa to abandon the notion that he can run in the 50th after Hunter is hauled off to prison. Maybe an average of 370 reasons a week. If we think on it some… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5b3949461d293fa89ea115feb3951c84abf6a373830847fc7ac0d5d8ae56f382.jpg

    • therblig

      Flock the Vote!

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        We gotta coop-erate.

    • Dg Hacket

      Is that a European swallow or African swallow?

      • I can’t tell until I see how he grips it…

        • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

          It’s not a question of where it grips it.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        What is its airspeed velocity?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Yes! Thanks for your contribution to the Resistance!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Thanks, Cally! You too! I found out last week that the protest in front of Issa’s office was the longest-running protest in the country. And they’re still going! Pretty soon they’ll be having birthday parties out there, and weddings and live births…

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Issue #1: we have a jungle primary. Yikes!

    • vukojebina_MΩment
    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Birdbrains =P

  • Jamoche

    Said by the British Ben Carson, I assume:
    https://twitter.com/trillingual/status/951804248647503872

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      I’m expecting that someone like Secessions will use this as an excuse for why the real racists are the ones who want to legalize “marijuana plantations.” SMH.

    • Christopher Story

      Miller, is that you?

  • Stable Genius Jack

    I hope the next President hates using Twitter. That’s all I’m saying.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      It’s the message, not the source. I love following Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, not to mention Kamala Harris, Ted Lieu, Adam Schiff and too many other good pols to mention here.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Jackass Dorsey needs to GTFO and turn it over to Valerie Plame. Every last goddamn troll and RWNJ on there needs to be permanently banhammered. No ifs, ands, or buts. And as far as I’m concerned, the entirety of the GOP, for being complicit enablers of the orange fascist. James Damore can STFU. We need more women in STEM because they don’t just approach things with a cold data-driven mindset. They actually “remember the human.” Enough already. Step aside techbros and let the women run things around here. #TimesUp Jack.

    • TootsStansbury

      Hate the twit, not the twitter.

      • Stable Genius Jack

        I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I’m not a fan of the Twitter. I don’t think there’s much worth saying that can be condensed into 240 characters. It’s too much instant gratification with very little substance.

        Something can be TOO raw. In a lot of cases, having a buffer between someone’s raw thoughts and the rest of the world is a very good thing. Twitter doesn’t have that filter and it’s poisoning our discourse.

        • mailman27

          AND it’s a good way to seem available to the public while being most definitely not. One-sided bullshitterations.

  • amrak63

    Since Gallbladder asked earlier in this thread about my childhood–at the tender age of three, they hooked me to a machine, just to keep my brain from spouting junk…(judge for yourself whether or not it worked)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmGxh1FhtxE

  • vukojebina_MΩment

    We almost lost Detroit Kauai.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      Obviously ‘shopped. But cute.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      That’s new way to play Towers of Hanoi.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Meowtroshka Dolls?

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T: Welcome to Manhattan. Here is your gluten-free, organic, pesticide- and herbicide-free, sustainably-raised, humanely-killed, artisanally-curated jar of peanut butter. That’ll be $29.00 please.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2d1943c5a862862c0e2b45154f7b07ff2b353fcdeadc09964769dcc87ceeffea.jpg
    The day I pay 29 simoleons for a FUCKING JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER, there better be either a $25 cash card at the bottom or me getting a happy ending, FFS.

    • Cat Cafe

      Don’t forget “shade-farmed” and “responsibly harvested”

    • JaveyDay

      That peanut better be good.

      • memzilla Ω

        That better be Peanut ‘N Weed butter, either also.

    • bupkus231

      I hate to tell you – but the same 16 oz jar of this peanut butter is selling on Amazon for the amazingly low price of $9.79

      Where the fuck are you shopping?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Here we got Krema. Costs about $5.00. The list of ingredients is: Peanuts.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      I dare you to google “peanut butter happy ending videos”

      I double-dog dare you!

      Might have to adjust search preferences beforehand

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So why did the son of Matthew McConaughey/Michael Berryman, Trey Gowdy, resign from the house ethics committee?

    • SDGeoff3

      Russia is breathing down his skinny little neck?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Did he resign or did he pull a Nunes?

      • SDGeoff3

        I read he resigned.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        No he resigned

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Woah, what is he scared of?

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          To spend more time with his lawyers.

          Then, more time with family*

          * visiting hours only

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      It finally occurred to him that he’s against it? Ethics, that is.

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      I thought he was the actor playing Patrick in the live-action Spongebob musical.

      https://i.imgur.com/XI0SqAS.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • Marion in Savannah

      That looks SO much like one of the 2 feral kittens that come to eat here. I call the little female Emma, for Eating Machine, since she’s an avid eater. And, YAY, I actually got to put a hand on her yesterday without her running away. So soft… In time I think I’ll be able to snuggle with her and then get her off to the vet. Her brother? He’s the coward who runs away from me.

      • theCryptofishist

        I know around here there’s a “trap, fix, and release” sort of deal that goes on.

        • OutOfOrbit

          who pays for it?

          • Marion in Savannah

            The county, through special fees for custom license plates, is how it works here.

          • theCryptofishist

            Madame Donation, I believe.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, once I get my paws on them they tend to just be mine. It’s how I got all of the cats we have,except one shelter kitty.

        • Phried Ω

          That’s tough on the songbirds.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Oddly enough, I’ve never seen one of my cats really bother a bird. Oh, they’ll stalk them and try to pounce, but in all the time I’ve lived here the only cat I ever saw catch a bird was the next door neighbor’s cat. I’ve watched ours hang out in the back yard and watch them, like it’s Kitty TV. If you’re not hungry, why exert yourself?

          • Phried Ω

            Our kitty is 19 now and retired but she was a bird and gopher killing machine in her day. It’s why we never put birdseed out. The yard is surrounded by dog yards so it was what lawyers call an attractive nuisance.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Give him some time, he might come to you too especially when he sees you wont hurt his sister.

    • Executive Time Radio

      Well hai pretty kitty!!!! Dawww so cute!

    • TJ Barke

      He needs hugs!

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      He it cute, even though he thinks of nothing but murder all day.

  • wait! what?

    Maybe Chris is just frustrated that he can’t go full Hugh Downs.

  • bbayliss

    I’m reposting this from Martini A, because 6 hours later I’m still thinking about it.

    Martini A, very stable genius • 6 hours ago
    This is a nice antidote to all the Dumbass racist negativity

    Gary Lee
    @whoisgarylee
    1. I’ve never tweeted before but today felt like a good day to start.

    8:08 AM – Jan 13, 2018

  • tehbaddr

    BTW If it’s possible, I would like the smallest wild ferocious feline as a companion. Might be better than small ferocious woman at this point.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W86cTIoMv2U

    • bbayliss

      Oh my, how have I gone a lifetime without knowing about these guys?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Oh he is cute, but leaving the ethics aside, the social and litter box habits of wild cats leave a lot to be desired. Get yourself a bengal kitty.
      And as a large gentle woman, I’d like to be reincarnated as a small ferocious one, preferably with long, curly bright red hair.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Even a bengal can be a HUGE challenge if you’re not ready to supply enough environmental enrichment. They’re BUSY cats.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Their dietary requirements are demanding too. You can’t just give them a bowl of friskies.

    • My 8 month old kitten was completely transfixed by that video.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    OT : I saw Darkest Hour yesterday. Received pronunciation is the weirdest thing. And MPs going “aye” after every sentence and waving pieces of paper in the air is just funny.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      You mean the King and Ward Hawifax?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Yeah and Neville Chamberlain.

  • James

    I’m going to have to bail. I just received a telephone call saying my sister’s wife has passed away.

    I’ll likely be away from Wonkette as I need to plan a trip to California to see my sister.

    • Marion in Savannah

      So sorry for your loss. Go take care of your sister. We’ll be here when you get back.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I am so very sorry.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      My sympathies to you, your sister and your families.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I am sorry for your loss James.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m so sorry to hear that. You and your sister have my most profound condolences.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Very sorry to hear this. Sending an internet hug your way.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’m so sorry. Safe travels.

    • I’m sorry to hear that buddy, that’s just awful.

    • theCryptofishist

      We’ll keep a light on and a steaming pot of dick jokes ready for you.
      Take care, be there. Widowhood is hard.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Hugs

    • tehbaddr

      Sorry to hear that, my condolences, be strong.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Blessed Be.

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      My condolences.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Very sorry for your loss.

    • shivaskeeper

      Sorry for your and particularly your sister’s loss.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      I’m sorry for your loss, James.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      So sorry. If you’re down this way I’ll do anything I can to help.

  • Rick Hill
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Anyone here watching the playoff game? If so, who’s rooting for whom?

    • msanthropesmr

      Is Cleveland still in it?

    • im rooting for the ball
      tired of seeing that thing get kicked around

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        When I was young, I named my football “Dick Nixon” so I would always have “Dick Nixon to kick around”.

    • OutOfOrbit

      WYOMING!

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Wife and in-laws from Philadelphia, no brainer.

      • BosGrl

        Ex has always been a Philly fan. He’s here now, watching it. My daughter said, “Go Falcons”, ‘cuz that’s how she rolls.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I don’t have a horse in the current game being played.

      • Nasty Woman Persisted

        I think that it is birds playing.

      • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

        Roy Moore? Is that you?

    • Phried Ω

      Much bigger defensive battle than I thought it would be.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      ….but I guess since Chris Matthews is from Philly and he’s an asshole, I’m going for Atlanter.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        I’m from Philly and I’m not an asshole, so it’s okay to say, “Go Iggles!”

    • little miss high and mighty

      Looking forward to the Ch. Bear’s new Headcoach Nagy (of Magyar ancestory- like Papa Halas) and the draft. Otherwise it would be nice to see an all Pennsylvania Duperbowl

    • mailman27

      My beloved Eagles.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Waitin since what, 1960, right?

        • mailman27

          Since forever, no shit!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      The Expos.

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        Aw. Someone misses a baseball team.

    • akryan

      watching the game, but not really invested in it either way. I’m kind of amazed sometimes by the amount of statistics that the commentators have at their fingertips.

  • Matthews is a gross, sexist, old fart who’s overdue for Shady Pines.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Shady Pines —- anagram software —-> Shady Penis.

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        downloaded freeware?

    • tehbaddr

      Ready to lay about, while the others play kick the can!

    • OutOfOrbit

      i cannut get all hetted up about this. nobody holding the tv remote to me head forcing me to watch

      • if it weren’t for my husband who loves watching him, he wouldn’t even be on my radar.

        • OutOfOrbit

          I hang here at such times

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Or Piney Fjords.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Almost thought that was a quote from Donald, until I remembered that he would never deliver his hate with such coherence FFS.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Look, we knew Cato was a douche from the time he lived with OJ.

      • BosGrl

        heh

      • proudgrampa

        He really helped Clouseau stay in top condition for his martial arts, though.

    • TJ Barke

      Cato is an asshole and so is his institute.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      And this is why representation matters.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Those poor women wore lead right on their faces and arms for generations- as did the Greeks and Babylonians before them. Short life spans and rigid beauty requirements.
      Tough times

    • “The female ass is a mysterious creature”
      – David Attenborough.

    • JustDon’tSayShithole

      Cato, I’m guessing you didn’t get any lovin’ for a while after that.

    • Shrieking Harpy

      “Not now, Cato.”

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Just finished watching the new IT. I was the same age as these kids during 1989, the time the move takes place in. I thought it was above average. I really do wish it had more practical effects as the cgi does not look good at all.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      There were actually a surprising number of practical effects. The hobo was played by Javier Botet. His performances are often mistaken for CGI because his movements and physical dimensions are so otherworldly.

      I hope they use more practical effects in Chapter 2. I’m sure their CGI budget has gone up as well.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      My husband and I thought it was boring. We’ve both read the book multiple times, and have seen the miniseries, so I guess we could only be so surprised. The following is slightly spoilerish, I guess, but not so much that I’m going to use the spoiler bar. Our complaints: the kids looked too much alike and we kept getting them confused; aside from Bev, the child actors weren’t very compelling; we didn’t like it happening in the haunted house instead of the sewer; why did the first scene have to show the sole black character learning how to kill something with a gun (ok, a captive bolt stunner, but close enough); and I was shocked at how pissed I was that Georgie’s mom was playing a piece of music that *wasn’t* Für Elise. Apparently that mattered more to me than I realized. The clown was fine. No scarier than Tim Curry, though I fully expected him to be from promo shots.

  • Executive Time Radio

    http://busken.com/product/fiona-cookies/
    Are we having a party for Fiona’s first birthday? I want Fiona cookies!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      They look too cute to eat, but we should have a wonkette party for her.

      • Executive Time Radio

        We should! Her existence has brought us a lot of joy this year, I think we should celebrate her!

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      Ummm, what do you mean exactly by “Fiona cookies”?

      They’re not like cow pies, are they?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        A cookie with her face on it.

        • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

          Whew.

      • Executive Time Radio

        Lolololol, they’re cookies with her face on them, with her wearing a birthday hat

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Popping off to the store when halftime comes along. BBL on this note–fuck you, CNN:

    https://twitter.com/VABVOX/status/951964899546198017

    https://twitter.com/CNNMoney/status/951952681664466944

  • Treg Brown
    • that’s a few thousand miles away
      i don’t think he’ll see it

    • InDogsWeTrust

      Is this real? Can’t find independent confirmation. If yes I will repost (W in Sonoma County).

    • InDogsWeTrust

      It’s not real. Night time pic, still daylight in CA. Pls confirm, Treg.

  • Jennifer R

    Alcohol and coding is a fantastic break fast.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      All right, that’s what I should be doing. I will read one more article and go to work on the mod.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    People are acting like this is an open thread or something. OK, then… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/784b2978a65e914297d36d2e1074c49d59b07dfa18c2be31683533f698f24549.jpg

    • little miss high and mighty

      Actually our very first immigrants at that- and exiled convict Eric the Red brought them as far as Greenland before they soon learned the effort was futile and went back

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        So what do you think is going to happen to convict-in-waiting Eric the Stupid?

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Don’t care, as long as he dies alone and forgotten.

        • little miss high and mighty

          State crimes- he’ll serve for them.
          Pence (or Ryan) will pardon his federal crime spree.

      • Beelzebubba

        They got at least as far as Newfoundland. The absence of national health care eventually drove them back.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          It wouldn’t have been an issue except that they hadn’t invented Newfie Screech yet.

        • little miss high and mighty

          yeah-no club techno over 140 bpm West of Mount Pearl- so Nor(m)wegians can’t do without 160 minimum- homesick for the thump thump machines (and Lutafisk).

      • Annnnnnnd now I have to go watch Erik the Viking.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gdq8u9lTdlA

        • handyhippie65

          i love that movie! 13th warrior is a good one too. though, not as funny.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Jerrod Diamond says in “collapse” the Vikings gave up their project in thr new world because they oudn’t bring themselves to eat fish or seals. A fac of hich we were not aware. He says they chewed their imported steers and heep down too the knuckle bones but refused to convert to the native diet.
          Maybe Cleese (or Terry jones) has an answer for the mystery.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        The latest thinking on that is the settlements in Greenland prospered for a number of years until Greenland had a local ice age. Crops failed and so almost everyone packed up and left.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Jerrod Diamond (again) says it was a dietary opreference which drove them back (based on sheep and cattle bone waste found in their “Cathedral”.

    • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

      Ha! Good one!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I prefer to think that we are siezing the means of open thread production.

      • Rosa

        Goo-g-le is pay-i-ng 97$ per hour,w-i-th weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.On tues-d-ay I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever do-n-e .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it!ve583w:↠↠↠ http://GoogleNewNetJobsDailyWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥♥♥e♥p♥p♥♥♥p♥♥♥q♥x♥♥♥u♥♥b♥♥♥d♥♥a♥i♥m♥♥q♥♥n♥♥♥b♥i♥y♥p♥♥♥m♥♥m♥♥♥n♥m♥♥♥f♥♥♥m♥♥♥t:::::!ve181q:lweiya

        • Daniel

          p-a-y-o-u-t
          Find out what it means to me
          p-a-y-o-u-t
          Range Rover SUV.

      • Angelina

        Go-o-gle is paying 97$ per hour,wi-t-h weekly pa-y-outs.You can al-s-o avail this.On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Ro-v-er from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the mo-s-t-comfortable job I have ever done .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!ne85h:➺➺➺ http://GoogleInternetComunityFxPartTimeJobs/get/hourly ♥♥♥z♥♥♥c♥♥h♥r♥♥v♥r♥♥♥o♥v♥♥n♥♥m♥i♥♥♥u♥♥♥f♥♥h♥o♥♥♥h♥♥h♥♥♥o♥♥z♥o♥♥♥t♥g♥♥♥l♥♥♥v♥♥p:::::!vw182k:lwe

      • Mary

        Go-o-gle is payin-g- $97 per hour,with wee-k-ly payouts.You can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four wee-k-s..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s t-h-e most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It so-u-nds unbelievable but you wont forg-i-ve yourself if you don’t check it!ne64z:➢➢➢ http://GoogleOnlineEasyKitPartTimeJobs/get/hourly ♥♥a♥♥♥o♥y♥♥b♥♥y♥♥♥b♥♥♥x♥♥♥f♥♥♥v♥♥♥b♥♥g♥♥k♥s♥♥♥d♥♥♥w♥f♥♥b♥♥h♥♥z♥♥♥k♥♥g♥♥♥u♥♥e♥♥b♥♥m:::::!uw633p:lwe

    • JustDon’tSayShithole
    • handyhippie65

      they were more like adventure tourists. at least at first. travel to strange exotic lands, a little pillaging, some monastery bonfire cook outs, and a nice trip home loaded with souvenirs, and some fun stories to tell the folks back home. good times to be had all around.

  • Beelzebubba

    Learning the hard way:
    “[Carrier] will be laying off more than five hundred employees as it moves manufacturing jobs to Monterrey, Mexico. Many of those employees voted for Donald Trump, who made saving Carrier’s “big,beautiful plant” one of his most repeated campaign promises. It was part of his broader preëlection claim that “A Trump Administration will stop the jobs from leaving America.”
    ”That promise is the main reason that the soon-to-be ex-Carrier employees Renee Elliott and Duane Oreskovic voted for Trump . . .”
    “Trump is a liar and an idiot,” [former union president Chuck] Jones told the crowd, adding, “He’s a con man, pure and simple, who sold us a bag of shit.” Sitting behind Jones, Oreskovic and Elliott nodded. The audience clapped.

    https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/carrier-employees-soon-to-be-laid-off-feel-betrayed-by-donald-trump

    • JustDon’tSayShithole

      And you fuckin bought it, stupid. All you had to do was watch that fucking TV show once and you would’ve known better.

    • starfanglednut

      So because Obama never flew Air Force One to their factory, and Hillary never said anything about them personally, they voted for the man who’s going to destroy the country for everybody, not just them?

      Oh well, too bad the leopards ate their faces.

      We need to stop courting the votes of people like this, and writing endless articles about them. It’s a waste of time. We just need sensible people to get to the fucking polls.

      Also too, they can afford a mortgage on $18 an hour? That’s pretty amazing.

      • Beelzebubba

        And now they wish they’d voted for Bernie. smh
        This is what Fucks Gnus does to people’s minds.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    I did something idiotic just now. I looked at Donnie’s Twitter feed. I swore I’d never do that again, yet there I was. Nothing about Hawaii, just his feud with the media. The Twitter trolls were laving him with such praise that I needed to autoclave my brain afterwards.

    The missiles could be flying and Donnie would rant about “fake news” and the fucking election and these morons would cheer him on into Armageddon.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The White House blamed Hawaii for it. That is the only comment they are going to make.

      • Stable Genius Jack

        I guess he thinks Hawaii’s a “shithole country” too.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          He is mad Hawaii overturned one of his immigration bans, also they didnt vote for him.

          • H0mer0

            (you don’t vote for kings)

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Session called it “an island in the Pacific”, like they were a non state.

            LATimes chronicled how Trump was in ‘enemy’ territory back in November, as only 30% of Hawaiians voted for him – the least of any state. They spoofed the standard Waikiki beach postcard to say “wish you weren’t here”.

            http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-pol-trump-hawaii-20171102-story.html

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          How far is it from Nambia?

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Did you know that Hawaii is an island? It’s surrounded by lots and lots of water. Big water. Very big water.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Wait I thought that thing called “water” was only in Norway for them to do the hydro with?

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Have you heard about this thing called water? It’s used to make hydro and a lot of other very, very bad things. People don’t talk about water, but it’s a very, very big thing. Not as big as tRump tower. That’s the biggest. The fake news. Did you know I started that? The Fake News. Everybody’s saying it now, but I was first. The Fake News won’t tell you about water. Very unfair. Crooken Hillary wanted to switch us to water. Hydro is what it’s called. Very, very bad. Weak on military. Weak. Weak as water. I just came up with that. The Fake News will try to tell you someone else came up with that. They lie. They just lie so bad.

        • starfanglednut

          He gets it confused with Kenya.

      • BosGrl

        Thanks, Obama.

    • paxpax

      I accidentally ended up on some site full of trolls today. I learned one of their new epithets – “JAKE NEWS” (to describe FAKE NEWS on CNN in reference to Jake Tapper). I think we should use it in order to describe information that at least has some modicum of veracity.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        “Those Jakes we like”?

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          <golf clap>

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • Daniel

      This links nicely to the prog conversation elsethread.

      Any colour you like.

    • Beelzebubba

      They might want to re-design that, before it becomes a national best-seller.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      No, it’s not poorly designed! It just needs Trump’s “mug” on the other side!

    • I would buy the fuck outta that mug.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        And send it to t-rump and others?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Poorly designed vetted mug.

      The design is pretty brilliant.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      According to the Dallas Observer the real mug looks like this:
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/95026c00ae9c050697f5beec26ce6d9b9f23d3375af3343e4af962b5bb412b22.png
      and hasn’t been on sale “for some time”. And the “black” version (I think they mean dark blue?) has nothing to do with them.
      OTOH, the mug was created “more than a year ago”, which means “for some time” may be a year or less.

  • little miss high and mighty

    Quarter past toorrow already
    gotta hit the sack+goodnight
    Thanks, Robyn
    ps:Chris M is in decline and out of our lives before we even know it.
    Be good posters, no
    No Woogie Boogie while we’re gone, now.

    • gallbladder

      What about drinking whilst not wearing pants?

      • little miss high and mighty

        only way!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      How about wearing boots and socks made for walkin’?

      • little miss high and mighty

        “Sock it”? James Brown appropriated so, fine, fine.
        Walkin’ boot?- depends on the (one o’ these days…) walkee.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    OT: It should be well-known by now that Nancy Sinatra can’t stand Donald “Nuke of Hazard” Trump, and neither could her father. But I bet you can guess what leader she does like.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dd865a5219eb86f2abcbbeee4f9f5bf5dd3eda1798b0f7752e61b809a1036dd2.png

    I think Nancy should record an updated version of her signature hit, with reference to Trudeau trouncing Nixon Trump.

    https://i.imgflip.com/22n4uy.jpg

    • I get the anger about paying Khadr, but the fact of the matter is that his charter rights were flagrantly violated by the government, and they *HAD* to deliver recompense. Nobody is asking anyone to approve of his actions (though, let’s take into consideration that he was a FUCKING CHILD who was essentially brainwashed by his father), but that doesn’t mean that the rule of law no longer applies.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Exactly. Not to mention Scumbag Steve and his deplorables exploited the whole fiasco just to drum up Islamophobia and fan the flames of fear about terrists under every bed. A disgusting legacy that still permeates the party arguably even more so today, what with Scheer bathing himself in the stench of Deplorebel Media and its inextricable affinity for Trump.

        Compare Trudeau’s handling of ill-mannered hecklers to Trump’s abuse of protesters. Or, apparently, Harper’s staged events where nobody was allowed in except confirmed con sympathizers. The only point I think needs to be raised is that JT really needs to invest in Kevlar, even though he bristles at heightened security measures and has since he was a kid. He’s like mom that way. He is way too people-friendly and naive about Canadians’ propensity for violence outside of a hockey rink. Chrétien actually fought off a home invasion at 24 Sussex, and Justin’s own onetime family domicile was broken into while he was an MP. Now that he’s PM, it’s blatantly obvious just getting a gander at YouTube comments that Levant’s mob won’t rest until there’s a Three Percenter on a grassy knoll outside the Pride parade.

        On a lighter note, I just think it’s awesome that Nancy Sinatra is a fan, and despises Trump.

        • My POS MP, Collin Carrie, LOVES sending out mailers that are racist and Islamophobic as fuck to try and drum up support for his disgusting, repugnant political agenda. The whole party is full of revolting assholes, and in a just society we’d have a proper electoral system that would keep them out of power.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Maybe you could deport them to a shithole country, and build a wall to keep them out. If you’re looking for a storage unit, there’s a bigly yuge meth lab downstairs that’s basically a free-range insane asylum for delusional psychotics who believe in things like the George Soros Muslim Brotherhood and child pizza harems on Mars…

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I miss these salad days when we had a president that no one worried was going to start World War 3 or start a global Thermomuclear war.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Especially over stupid shit like insecurity about the size of his “button”. Or things people say on the Internet. If Obama dropped a bomb for every time someone posted a monkey caricature or a lynching meme about him, the planet would no longer exist.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I was through with Tweety when he started talking about getting all “tingly” about W when he fucked the shit out of a country that hadn’t done anything to us (other than trying to kill his father, of course, which shouldn’t have involved the entire U.S., 4,000 dead soldiers, and a trillion fucking dollars.)

  • Jennifer R

    Well I spent 40 minutes and the solution was I accidentally tagged an important part of code when I was selecting a block of it to comment out.

    • Gosala

      Don’t comment out code you don’t want anymore. That’s just asking for trouble down the line. Delete it instead.

      • Ling Ling

        Pfftttt #if 0 FTW

        • Jennifer R

          A bunch of ifs that will be superfluous once I am the right level of not sober to do a bunch of grunt work, as I am not knowledgeable enough to do it the smart way.

          • Ling Ling

            You will be fine. Job one is to make it work. Pretty and broken is way too common.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah this way Works. I just can’t pull the existing data from the existing source in a single action and have to ask for it for each enemy I want a bestiary entry for.

        • Gosala

          Piker!
          IF(VAR)100,200,300

      • Jennifer R

        It’s code I am going to want to use in the future that if I use right now will hork it all up because it’s asking for objects that don’t exist yet. I absolutely love trimming out code and do so whenever I am knowledgeable enough to do so.

    • memzilla Ω
  • Gosala

    I am tired.
    I am tired of the shithole fake president.
    I am tired of the shitty white people who elected him.
    I am tired of the shitty pundits who distract, mislead and obfuscate.
    I am tired of shitty rich people who stoke the flames of racism and nativism to obscure their theft of everyone’s wealth.
    I am tired of the myth of meritocracy.
    I am tired of the lie that laissez faire dog eat dog capitalism is natural, right and proper.
    I am tired of corporatists who impose laissez faire dog eat dog capitalism on the little people while colluding amongst themselves.
    I am tired of oligarchy masquerading as global capitalism.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
      • Gosala

        Hell, yeah.

    • Executive Time Radio

      All I can offer is an internet hug, and I’m sending one your way.

    • The opinions expressed in the following music video do not necessarily reflect those of Yr. Blamethrwer…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu2Dsnvk6M0

    • Anna Rompage
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      I’m tired too. But what I’m not tired of is comments like this that lay it out in plainspoken terms for what we’re all mad as hell about and not going to take anymore. I’m just tired of those things we’re mad as hell about still happening.

      Too bad Wonkette doesn’t allow comments, otherwise I would have screenshotted this one and saved it for how good it was.

      • Gosala

        You are too kind. Thank you

    • A couple of lines from the Ballad of Sir Andrew Barton:
      “I am hurt, but I am not slain;

      I’ll lay me down and bleed a while,

      And then I’ll rise and fight again.”

      • Gosala

        Yeah, that’s the ticket

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I think I could cope with this if I had some idea what to DO about it. If I thought there was a genuine fix. Hell, if I could go up to one person and clock them with a sockful of votes and make a tangible difference. It’s the feeling of helplessness that makes ME the tiredest.

      • Gosala

        I feel your pain. There’s so many things they say we can do.
        Attend rallies, go to meetings: but when work schedules collide with meeting and rally schedules…

        Write letters… but when local officials and the red district majority don’t care…

        When every day at work is an exercise in being ground down…

        When there aren’t enough hours to recover emotionally, to take care of the things that need taking care of much less the crazy politics

        Yeah… That’s why I’m tired.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          That last one, not having the time to recover before things somehow get WORSE. I think that’s the worst of all.

    • johnnysandiego

      Reminds me of the epic intro to Gandhi Mate, Gandhi by Enter Shikari
      “Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the primary purpose of your life, of my life and the entirety of the human race is just to blindly consume to support a failing economy and a faulty system. forever and ever until we run out of every resource and have to resort to blowing each other up to ensure our own survival. I don’t think we’re supposed to sit by idle whilst we continue to use a long outdated system that produces war, poverty, collusion, corruption, ruins our environment and threatens every aspect of our health and does nothing but divide and segregate us. I don’t think how much military equipment we are selling to other countries, how many hydrocarbons we’re burning, how much money is being printed and exchanged, is a good measure of how healthy our society is but I do think I can speak for everyone when I say, WE’RE SICK OF THIS SHIT!”

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • There’s a non-zero chance that she may be the worst of the lot of them, ’cause Education is what will allow the country to avoid these fucking con-artists in the future.

      • HogeyeGrex

        “Would have allowed.”

        **sigh**

    • Rick Hill

      Overlooking the whole contracting of student loan debt collection to private companies…

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      These fuckers can NOT get away with this shit. Very public trials and harsh sentences to send a clear message.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Eisen is predicting litigation…Hopefully that means CREW has the complaint already drafted.

  • BMW

    I seem to recall him talking about what a mistake it was for the Obama Administration to push so hard for the birth control coverage in light of the amount of resistance from religious groups, so his ability to see the whole picture when it comes to issues primarily affecting women may be suspect.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      In other words, he can’t see much further than his dick.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        He can’t even see his dick.

  • James

    I just spoke to my sister . . . she is understandably devastated. The rest of the family is clearing its calendars with employers and me with state and local government so we can go to California in her time of need.

    • I think it goes without saying that us non-commenters will do what we can to help you should you need anything.

    • Agreed with the Hon, Blamethrower. If we can help with anything, please let us know

    • Daniel

      I’m sorry.

    • BosGrl

      James, tight hugs for your sister. So terribly sorry for your loss.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So I’m having a discussion about the movie “It” on FB. In the beginning of the movie, which takes place in ’89, a kid makes a paper boat for his brother. I’m currently having an argument with someone because they claim that scene is stupid since kids didn’t make paper boats in ’89. He thinks making paper boats would have been outdated in ’89. The fuck?

    https://i.imgur.com/XNe1mLR.gif

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • James

    For those here who offered to help, I’m not sure if our Esteemed Editrix allows it, but my sister has had a medical GoFundMe (that should be a travesty in the wealthiest nation in history but I digress) for the wildly expensive treatment.

    If Ms. Rebecca allows it I can put that here.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Post it, other people have.

      • James

        As of yet, she hasn’t posted the latest update (the last is eight days ago); I imagine updating the information is not her most important issue.

        https://www.gofundme.com/help-jj-beat-back-cancer

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Thanks, I just gave something. I hope it helps and hope you and your sister are ok. Sorry to both of you for your loss.

        • gallbladder

          On my way there. Love from Canada. :-)

  • Jennifer R
    • IdiotsforPalin

      I’m right there with ya!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrG Unstable Genius

      Stupid is as stupid does.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Forget it Jake… it’s Alabama.

    • IdiotsforPalin
      • H0mer0

        was that before or after the dog stuck an egg under him as he was sleeping and he woke up thinking he was a mother?

    • SadDemInTex
    • wait! what?

      Censure? How about a rebuke? Maybe an exorcism…

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        A spanking?

        • wait! what?

          #friskydingo or
          #friskynewt

    • Daniel

      Because “democracy” is awful close to “Democrat”.

    • gallbladder

      I was just looking up the definition of “cannibalism” in the dictionary.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Took a course in Parasitology as a pre-med, and what made things worse was my GF was an exchange student from Tokyo who worked in a Sushi joint.

        Awkward

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Well he is trying to pull a Trump and claim anyone who doesnt support him is un-American. No Facist, No Facist, They are all Facists.

    • HogeyeGrex

      “People whose actions lost one of the safest Senate seats in the country demand… anything.”
      Please proceed, GOP.

      This is how they got Roy in the first place. Catering to the farthest right wingnuts and expecting everyone else to follow along.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        It seems wing nuts on both sides have something in common.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          SA vs. SS for the 4th Reich Leadership

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      If you can’t support a psycho Short Eyes who can’t ride a horse, how you gonna support Donnie Two Scoops, huh?

      Wingnut Civil War is On!
      Arm both sides with guns and liq……, um, looks like they have plenty of both https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c28d2d9b09621aee67a9aea81996299143c475f4dfe8ba120337ef676c7888a.jpg

  • JMP

    Really, MSNBC, it would be very easy to fire this sexist screaming ass and replace him with Joy Reid, who deserves her own daily show instead of just filling in when Maddow and Hayes are out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk
      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Yeah, but the media says Dems can’t get elected doing these things.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          The media also says Democrats need to reach out to “economically anxious” Trump supporters and dump anyone who isnt a white “christian” male. I really dont think the media knows what they are talking about.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            It’s almost like their planting losing strategies to weaken the Dem chances of taking back Government on the orders of some person or groups of persons (in the Rmoney sense). I can’t figure this out.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            That has been true for a depressingly large portion of my life.

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      All signs point to DUH.

    • Daniel

      Hahaha! Stupid libtard!!!!! Its “IS I stupid”!!!!!!! Guess your not so smart after all, eh????!!!!!!

  • msanthropesmr

    I finished editing that gigantic POS, That sucked so bad.

  • Perkniticky

    Sounds like John Humphries. I stopped listening to BBC radio 4 because of him. Why is it so difficult to get rid of these old fogeys? Do we literally have to wait for everyone older than us to die before these throwbacks are retired (note: I’m halfway through my life, so I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask the old fogeys to step the fuck off if they can’t keep up with the program.)

    • Daniel

      Humphreys is a tool.

      • msanthropesmr

        Stephen Sackur FTW

        • Daniel

          Jon Snow. Also, too, Emily Maitliss is not without her moments- and Cathy Jenkins does a lovely job of eviscerating UKIP knobends.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    HAVE TO SAY IT: CARTOON TWEETY ISN’T FUNNY EITHER.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I always hoped to find a lost episode where Sylvester actually ate him. Hell, even Tom got a win over Jerry occasionally.

      • Daniel

        There’s one following that where Sylvester, at a loss for what to do with his life now he’s killed and eaten his nemesis, walks in a daze onto a Greyhound bus and just heads off to who knows where. It’s beautifully animated, even though all the action takes place through the windows of the bus while Sylvester just stares forward. The details are wonderfully intricate, however, and the story such fleeting glimpses allow the viewer to piece together is deeply moving- especially the romance of the wolves.

        • Master Contrail Program

          That sounds almost as must-see as “The Dissolution of Pete Puma” that I found on a collection purchased from a bizarre traveling bazaar.

          It gave me a whole lotta lumps, in my throat. Heeeeeeee!!!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Hanna and Barbera really understood how that trope worked. Nobody did it better until Chuck Jones turned it on its head. Compare and contrast to Paramount’s awful ‘Hermann and Katnip’ cartoons of the late 40s and early 50s.
        … hmm, might still be a wee but snockered, because I’m getting academic about cartoons. Again.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      …you’ve lost a dumbass.

      • Gosala

        Better a dumb ass than a smart ass

        Or maybe I’ve got that wrong.

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          I prefer a smartass like myself.

          • Bill Diaz

            There are IQ requirements to be an effective and tolerable smartass. It is a severe limitation

            Have a great day!

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          What about horses asses like Trump, Geraldo and Roy Moore?

          • Gosala

            Hey!

            — Sassy

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Sassy is cool.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Oh, he’s just as deplorable. Mr. Bette Midler Groper and Congratulations Justin I Fuddle Duddled Yer Mum (and considering what happened to Bette I wouldn’t doubt he preyed on Maggie too) is a shithole fake-news “journalist” and bona fide (bonerfied?) creep who needs to be exiled into early retirement. Go fuck yourself with Al Capone’s moldy cheese sandwich, Jerkaldo. You made this.

    • gallbladder

      He also lost Cheney, but still…

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Someone could come up with a fake Hitler account saying “whoa, too far, bro” and Trump wouldn’t give a shit that he’d lost Hitler.

        • gallbladder

          Well that or he’d brag about it.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            “YOUR FAVORITE FUHRER!”

      • Daniel

        You can’t lose Cheney. There’s a whole Aarne-Thompson category about people trying to lose Cheney. In all cultures, in all times, in all situations the lesson is the same: Cheney is the only constant. He was here before the world, he will be here long after. He is the death of stars and the end of black holes. He is the yawning maw of time. He is entropy.

        • Gosala

          Cheney is Siva? Explains a lot.

          • H0mer0

            I was about to call libel then thought, “who am I kidding as a cafeteria Hindu?”

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          <ponders>
          Can we have Azathoth back? I’d even put up with those bloody flute players.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, horseshit. Like Trump reads Geraldo’s tweets, or even remembered what racist shit he said if he did. Say it on Fox or it didn’t happen, Jerry, you pathetic waste of sequestered carbon.

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      Who?

    • Bill Diaz

      It is (still) my dream to lay that SOB out, as my homage to Kurt Vonnegut. I do not believe in the initiation of violence and this would be the first time for me to take the first punch. I would warn him and give him a chance to block and/or defend himself and would turn myself over for arrest after landing my blow.

      He was married to Kurt’s daughter and if you have ever read his autobiography, you would realize what a horrible, evil shit this man is and why Kurt said ‘If I wasnt too old to do it, I’d punch him right in the nose’.

      Its a promise I made to myself about 25 years ago when I read the interview that someone did on him, if he and I are ever within 10′ of each other, I am going to lay him out for Kurt!

      Have a great day!

      • miss_grundy

        On behalf of those of us of a certain age who had to watch him on “Eyewitness News with Bill Beutel and Roger Grimsby” we thank you.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        When I saw him take that chair to his smug mug, I jumped up, fist-pumped and scared the cat.

        I wonder if that chair is for sale. My favorite Radio Personality Greaseman claimed to have the original log from “Deliverance” in his living room as a conversation starter.

    • Michael R

      Stop trying to make him into something he isn’t and just get rid of him .

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I tweaked my ankle walking to the toilet!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      And you still accomplished more than Donald has in 14 months of being preznit.

  • The Wanderer

    (reads the last two articles)

    (goes back to furry porn)

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Pretty!

    • wait! what?

      Your hippie chessboard is missing some squares, lol.

    • gallbladder

      Cozy!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Nice!

    • BosGrl

      Wow! That’s awesome!

    • miss_grundy

      Very nice! I could use one like this to cuddle with on the recliner.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Excellent work! Crocheted, I assume? Love the colour choices, and that while there’s a symmetry to it, you played between the spaces. It looks comfortable, to the eye as well as to the body.
      How big will it be when you decide it’s done?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        About 6’6″ x 7″6″, as it turns out.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0820440bccae4d115a0493cab1468c7f5fea6fe6a03c293a7897457dffa985e9.png

        There’s this yarn. It’s wool and mohair and made in the US and just gorgeous, and I found a place that sells seconds for not very much at all, and I got all giddy about making heirlooms for everyone and this is the kid’s.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Just amazing… and I need to let the g/f know it’s out there, because she’d probably trample people to get a yarn like that at a good price.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Oh, have I got links for you.

            These two are the Brown Sheep discount seconds, both of which are home businesses for ladies with health issues (mind you, full price, these are up to $12/skein)

            http://www.mypollywogs.com/pollybsheep.html
            http://www.thesheepshedstudio.com/LambsPrYarns.html

            and this one is stash heaven, with regular sales up to 70% off discount price

            http://www.discontinuedbrandnameyarn.com/shop/

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            TYK! Passed along.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Honestly, I feel like I’m at a dinner party introducing people to my crack dealer.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Is that a crochet joke? Cuz the g/f refers to places that sell yarn inexpensively as crack dealers ALL THE TIME.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            They call it stash for a reason, son.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • wait! what?

      They used to be on sale at Sam’s Club, too…

      • gallbladder

        Fucking beat me to it.

      • Raan

        Now the only thing on sale there is the infrastructure.

        • wait! what?

          …and it hasn’t even been a week…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Fuck Tom Brokaw! He along with other assholes like Tweety called HRC things like “shrill” during the election.

  • Raan

    So, what’s the Wonketariat having for dinner? We did chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Just delivered: Chicken wings & french fries. If those don’t do the trick, I also received a few hot pastrami sandwiches. I intend to celebrate Saturday in gluttonous style.

      • Raan

        Dionysus would be proud.

      • gallbladder

        Cigar?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Off of cigars. Stopped on the 4th when I got a cold. Planning to stay off of them, which will not be very difficult for me.

          Now it looks like I might have pneumonia so I will probably trek to urgent care tomorrow morning. The massive doses of ibuprofen and tylenol are sort of holding it at bay, fever wise. This is serious business for me so I’m taking it serious. But first, dinner.

          • gallbladder

            Fuck. But yes, by all means, eat! Take care, mate.

          • Lord Jim

            Good to hear that you’re going to get medical assistance. Take care.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            eek… do so even if you think you feel ‘better.’ Pneumonia is nothing to be casual about.

          • Bub the very stable zombie

            Take care of yourself.

        • Very Stable Bozi
    • Gosala

      Just the usual: foie gras, lobster tail, oysters, fillet mignon, petite pois, salad with heirloom tomatoes, petite fours and champagne.

      • gallbladder

        What, no canned clams?!?

        • Gosala

          They’re fine when we do carbonara.

      • Ωbjectifier

        EBT is great, innit?

    • Bill Diaz

      Cant eat, lol. I live on lemonade and morphine. On the flip side, if I make it to bikini season, Ill look great!

      Have a great day!

      • BosGrl

        Hugs, Bill.

        • Bill Diaz

          Thank you!

          Have a great day!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        I can’t find that cocktail in my bartender’s guide.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        My gastritis is acting up. I raise my bowl of jello to you!

    • Executive Time Radio

      I’m making udon

    • BosGrl

      Kettle wings and garlic-and-hamburger pizza. I can barely move.

    • williams517

      Probably Mac n Cheese or a TV dinner.

    • Lord Jim

      Salmon and butter-and-herb noodles.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Turkey Swedish meatballs & egg noodles. Desperately needed comfort food to offset the multiple vodka and SmartFood popcorn “dinners” I had this week.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Shake & Bake chicken legs and Reisling. Being made of grapes the Reisling counts as ‘fruit and vegetables.’

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      Chicken breasts baked with lemon juice, white wine, shallots, garlic and thyme, brown rice and mushroom pilaf, peas.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Horse’s ass libelz.

    • williams517

      Lol

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Cute. Got her number?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    In all his years on TV Chris Matthews has never even learned to interview someone without loudly saying: “Yeah… Uh huh…. Yeah…. Mhm…. Uh huh…” while the guest is trying to answer his questions, so I wouldn’t expect him to learn not to say sexist stuff.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Dude drools and spits like a mother fucker too.

      • gnomemansanisland

        It’s that Philly accent

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m beginning to get the impression that CM is a very insecure person for whom gaps of silence are very uncomfortable. He needs to spend some time in a deep dark well of votes. Maybe a century or two would do.

      • wait! what?

        Karma dictates that he gets 20 lifetimes in the corner…

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      “Yeah… Uh huh…. Yeah…. Mhm…. Uh huh…”

      The vanilla Bryant Gumball?

  • JaveyDay
  • BloviateMe
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Why is that a thing? What the hell is wrong with people.

      • BloviateMe

        I genuinely don’t understand my fellow humans so much of the time.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          You should try understanding them from outside.

      • Daniel

        To children they look like sweets.

        So there are warnings not to eat them.

      • TJ Barke

        I can see a dumb child doing it, but not an adult…

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          You must not have seen enough dumb adults. What luck!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Hey! I use Tide pods, they’re greeeaat!

        But not for food.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      It’s kids doing the eating, and some of them are dying. When it’s little kids, I say this is “too soon”.

      • BloviateMe

        Should I delete it, you think?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Nah. I’m okay.

          • BloviateMe

            In any case, apologies if it offended, that wasn’t my intent.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Not offended, just offering context on my part. If I had little kids around my place, the child proofing would be off the chain, as it was when my daughter was young. I see anyone who doesn’t put cleaning supplies behind lock and key as negligent.

          • Lord Jim

            Guns, too. So many deaths due to sheer carelessness.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            I know this too well from Armory Detail and range qualifications. See earlier post about the .45 1911A1 killing more Americans than enemy

    • wait! what?

      If you eat them does your colon just Shout them out?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I suspect your colon just spouts them out. Some noise may be involved.

        • gallbladder

          Well, that and phosphates.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        These are the things I could do without. I’m talking to you, come on.

        • Very Stable Bozi

          Hasn’t Hawaii already given enough tears for fears?

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            It’s a mad world.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Tide goes in, Tide comes out, you can’t explain it.

    • gallbladder

      Jesus Fuck. You run a search on “Tide pods” and this shit is all that comes back!

      • Very Stable Bozi

        Like M & Ms, they melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

    • williams517

      When folks are eating tide pods and squirting coffee up their ass, you know the world has gone down the shitter.

    • If that doesn’t work, just let them suck down “natural water.”

  • Tennessee Rain Genius

    *clears throat* *dons asbestos thong* For a couple of days now, I’ve been reading where Donald Trump calling certain third world countries, “shitholes,” is racist on his part. It isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a racist and his comments are racist, but not because he called third world countries, “shitholes.” I’ve called India a “third world shit-hole” on this site and not one of you called me a racist. The premise of Book of Mormon is that the main character missionaries get sent to Uganda – a shithole – while their counterparts get sent to cushy places like France and yes, Norway. No one calls this production, “racist.”

    Recognizing the fact that some countries are shitholes isn’t racist. It’s the denial of how they got that way and the idea that the people born into those countries, through no fault of their own, don’t deserve a chance – that they are suspect because of where they were born…that they should be denied entry to our country and denied a shot…that’s what racist.

    There’s this ridiculous notion perpetrated by people who don’t know any immigrants that they are here to suck of the government teat and take our tax dollars. That’s simply not true.

    I just got back from New York and, if you’ve ever spent a day there, you’d know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our country is definitely built on the spirit and determination of immigrants. To deny that and to deny their humanity is racist and that is what this president has done.

    To quote Lin Manuel Miranda, “Immigrants. We get the job done.”

    • TJ Barke

      I saw it more as classist, and semantically it’s not racist on its face, but I don’t doubt for a minute that Donnie is a racist.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        Yes. This.

      • Michael R

        Trump has to believe that his worth is in external objects .

    • James

      Let’s see, he called El Salvador, Haiti, and the entire continent of Africa that. I wonder what palette of skin colours those places might have in common?

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        They do have the same palette of skin color. But many of them are “shitholes” and that’s because of US interference in their governments. We do love our puppets. But people who are attempting to escape oppression shouldn’t be judged by the country they are trying to escape from. That’s just stupid, but that’s what Trump is trying to do.

        • James

          The implication here is the people in said countries are the reason they are “shitholes.”

          I have never called any nation (or US state) such a thing. There are shitty people everywhere.

          Trump also specifically called for immigration from Norway in the same statement. Context matters. We like blue-eyed blonde white people, not so much immigrants from Africa (like Nigeria, where the percentage of people immigrating with college degrees is higher than the US average).

          • James

            He also said “we” (meaning him) don’t want any people from “shithole” countries.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            And I mentioned that as an indicator of his racism.

          • James

            Don’t get me wrong, he’s a racist and his comments are racist, but not because he called third world countries, “shitholes.”

            It is a continuation of his racism. The statement was explicitly racist, particularly in the context of saying we wanted more Norwegians and fewer from said countries (and an entire continent).

          • That is an important distinction I missed.

            You know, he certainly wasn’t speaking for me. I wonder who that “we” represents?

          • James

            His Nazi base would be my guess.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            And THAT is racist.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Err…
            1) Nazis ARE racists.
            2) They are not, however, a ‘race.’

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            Totally agree and nothing you said contradicts what I said.

          • James

            Except the part where you claimed it wasn’t necessarily racist.

            In the context of Trump’s entire life, the universal condemnation from around the world, yup, it was racist.

            Funny thing about all the far-right blogs cheering on that statement today.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            You know what? I know your situation and I see that you’re in attack mode because of it, but i’m not going to go down that rabbit hole with you. I said Trump is a racist. You want to fight me because of your personal situation and I’m not going to do that. I’m sorry for your loss, but maybe you should log off and spend time with your family.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            That’s not true. Not even a little bit. I’ve never stated nor believed that the people living in underdeveloped countries are the reason they are underdeveloped. You might want to take this opportunity to read the words I wrote instead of the ones you think I did.

    • Well, yes. But, to be fair, it isn’t JUST about “shithole countries”. He has a long history of much more than just that. It’s just that, this time, prime Trump sycophant Lindsay Graham is confirming the comments.

      Besides, there’s a difference between a random commentator on a mommyblog sharing an opinion about India, and the President of the United States sweeping entire continents into the dustbin.

      And, frankly, you are wrong about The Book of Mormon: lots of people find it to be offensive. Mormons for a start. Just because the creators “make fun of everybody” doesn’t make them untouchable. Do people call it “racist”? I’ve heard people call it that. Frankly, I stay far away from all of their work for the same reason I stayed far away from Don Rickles’s stand up routine: tearing others down isn’t funny. It’s mean, low and unacceptable. YMMV, of course.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        Oh definitely. I’m not trying to say that that shitheel isn’t racist. He most definitely is.

      • Phried Ω

        I read your post three times and never detected a point.

        • Phried Ω

          Not yours. I meant the first person.

          • We all sometimes respond to the wrong comment. Good thing comments aren’t allowed.

          • Phried Ω

            Thanks for understanding.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      He singled out Africa (as a country) and Haiti, so yeah, he may have called other countries “shit holes” but in this case, it was majority black places. So I say “Both of them, Katie”.

    • Gosala

      He’s a racist.

      What he said was racist.

      If you weren’t called doesn’t mean that we weren’t wrong not to call you out, maybe just too forgiving or maybe not “woke” enough.

      Don’t know, don’t care about the Book of Mormon.

      That said, you are completely right calling out the hypocrisy of impoverishing Africa, South America and the Caribbean and then blaming them for their poverty as somehow due to their failure.

    • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

      It is a cringing embarrassment for the President of the United States to call other countries and whole continents “shitholes.” There are countries that have enormous challenges due to war and poverty. To call them shitholes is to call their citizens, by implication, pieces of shit and excrement of no value. For the POTUS to refer to an entire continent as a shithole is to display an astonishing ignorance and a vulgar indifference to the rest of the World community.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        I totally agree. His choice of words was beyond reprehensible. And I said as much already.

    • shivaskeeper

      Your are right that the phrase irself in not inherently racist. It really just means a bad place to live/work.

      However, you cannot take the phrase by itself. In the context of the phrase being spoken by a known white supremacist, in a meeting to work out the outline of immigration reform and why he does not want immigration reform done, looking at the places called out as shitholes and the one place specifically not a shithole, the phrase is racist as fuck.

      Nothing should be judged without the context.

  • miss_grundy

    If it is a day ending in y then you know that he will be a misogynist pig.

  • James

    Julian Assange’s poor hygiene sparks complaints in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.

    https://t.co/KosNW9xRtq— Morgan Fairchild (@morgfair) January 14, 2018

    • Phried Ω

      ewww

    • I saw the “Morgan Fairchild” and saw that photo and I was all like, “Wow, Morgan Fairchild really looks like Julian Assange, now, doesn’t she?” for, like, two seconds.

    • BloviateMe

      Wow, and that’s a “shithole” embassy. /s

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Chandler’s mom is disgusted with you, Julian.

    • wait! what?

      These are not the wikileaks I was looking for…

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      “Fish and visitors smell after three days”
      Ben Franklin

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Well, that was a hell of a game. Congrats, Eagles fans! (The leader of one of my groups roots for them, so she’s happy.)

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Yeah, we Falcons fan knew that they would have a tough time playing in Philly. Practices this week were run with loud music to mimic the crowd noise.

    • Phried Ω

      I don’t think this next one is going to be so close.

    • JaveyDay

      They play the Lakers next, right?

      • wait! what?

        …in an actual lake.

    • Picabo

      “Pro tip. “Roots” means something quite different in Australia.

      • wait! what?

        Yes, never ask Australian sports fans who they are rooting for…

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      ‘Hell’ is right. I feel like I’ve been through purgatory at the very least.

  • memzilla Ω
    • ariel_gee_398

      I thought I understood what it was like to be embarrassed of our national leadership when W lied us into war because Saddam tried to kill his dad. I had no idea.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        We were all so innocent then.

    • Yes. That apostrophe d makes all the problems with that statement just disappear, doesn’t it?

    • Fartknocker

      She’s neither convincing, smart or funny – just like her father.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      “I see everything twice!”

  • Ninja0980

    Well..at the least the Falcons won’t have to worry about their team choking again.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Why, are they disbanding?

  • Ninja0980
    • gallbladder

      Yet another win for the cause! Oh, wait…

    • This really shows how this mindset is really smart. Like, super intelligent. They’ve got the best brains.

    • therblig

      burn in this life and then burn in hell, scumbag!

    • Lord Jim

      I guess this crime contains its own punishment.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Gotta admit, they can be REALLY committed to their brand of insanity.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Almost like they need to be committed

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁
    • bbayliss

      She’s so dumb! she could have just given the imaginary lady imaginary money and cigarettes.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      I stand in awe of her courageous stand against truth, decency, and the rule of law, and encourage all of her White Supremacist Brothers and Sisters to follow her lead

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    Well, looks like another fake honeymoon is over and not a moment too soon. Wouldn’t you know, Donnie and his goons are bigly surprised that the fan of hockey has… balls.

    Canada “drops the gloves” in trade talks, files WTO complaint against US

    “Drops the gloves,” eh. Nice turn of phrase. In that case, speaking of which, here is a visual metaphor of what appears to be the present tone of the Trudeau/Trump trade negotiations. Playing the role of the USA: The USSR.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ydbATVriqA

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Brahms to musicians: “Go big or go home!”
    Musicians to Brahms: “Hold our beers.”

    https://youtu.be/aRV9UP4kSQo

  • Bill D. Burger

    Soooo’….when the CIA wants to spill some very important info, they go to ____ Moby? Whuuut’? Not sure what to make of this:
    [LARRY MCSHANE
    NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
    Saturday, January 13, 2018, 5:29 PM

    The activist artist, in an interview with Lousiville, Ky. radio station WFPK-FM, insisted CIA agents past and present told him how they were “truly concerned” about President Trump’s deep ties to Russia.
    “They were like, ‘This is ‘The Manchurian Candidate,’ like (Vladimir Putin) has a Russian agent as the president of the United States,” he said, referring to the movie about a murderous government mole.
    “So they passed on some information to me and they said, like, ‘Look you have more of a social media following than any of us do, can you please post some of these things … sort of put it out there?’” recounted Moby, who boasts 1.35 million Twitter followers.
    In February 2017, shortly after the Trump inauguration, Moby posted on social media that the Russian government was “blackmailing” the new chief executive.]

    I think, for the moment, I’m putting this NYDN story in the ‘Tom Arnold’ file.
    Next: Katy Perry reveals James Comey confided to her that The Dotard wanted Comey to pee on Jeff Sessions while he watched. Ok..ok…That would probably be true. ~DOH!~
    Damn, well, these days it’s getting more and more difficult to distinguish an satirical Onion piece from a well sourced WaPo piece.
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/moby-doubles-trump-russia-ties-article-1.3755296

    • JaveyDay
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      You should have heard what their hairdressers told my wife’s manicurist.

    • Michael R

      One of his old Instagram posts confirms what he said

      after spending the weekend talking to friends who work in dc i can safely(well, ‘accurately’…) post the following things: 1-the russian dossier on trump is real. 100% real. he’s being blackmailed by the russian government, not just for being peed on by russian hookers, but for much more nefarious things. 2-the trump administration is in collusion with the russian government, and has been since day one. 3-the trump administration needs a war, most likely with iran. at present they are putting u.s warships off the coast of iran in the hope that iran will attack one of the ships and give the u.s a pretense for invasion. 4-there are right wing plans to get rid of trump. he’s a drain on their fundraising and their approval ratings, and the gop and koch brothers and other u.s right wing groups are planning to get rid of trump. 5-intelligence agencies around the world, and here in the u.s, are horrified by the incompetence of the trump administration, and are working to present information that will lead to high level firings and, ultimately, impeachment. i’m writing these things so that when/if these things happen there will be a public record beforehand. these are truly baffling and horrifying times, as we have an incompetent president who is essentially owned by a foreign power. -moby

      FEBRUARY 13, 2017

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I think you’ll like it. It excretes two kinds of hallucinogenic drugs when it likes what you write.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      OK, please don’t give those Vigilant Citizen, Illuminati nutters even a modicum of credibility to claim righteous vindication over. They’re batshit crazy as it is.

  • Fartknocker

    Chris Matthews is the Andy Rooney of MSNBC. He’s not funny, I rarely understand his references to 1960s musicals, he has a terrible habit of interrupting people and injecting some bullshit diatribe, and I would be much happier if Joy took his spot. She’s a much better journalist.

    • Phried Ω

      and no, I’m not going to buy his book. I wouldn’t read it if someone gave it to me.

    • Parakeetist

      Yeah

  • leslie

    horrid old man

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1919, Robert Stack. “All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it’s just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/638a316b0cce49d65c26797bad746b549bd6855221710a6c1126171a2816cd05.jpg

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Watching sportsball involves a not-inconsiderable allocation of resources. There’s food to prepare, chores to put off, and setting aside four-plus hours where you really can’t do much else, not even read.
    To watch sloppy football, as between the Eagles and Falcons tonight, makes me feel slightly cheated. This was supposed to be a playoff game? Thank goodness we had some nice chicken legs and a bottle of an adequate Resiling.

    • wait! what?

      Who are you calling chicken legs: Ryan or Schaub?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        AOT,K

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • proudgrampa

      Today, we are all Hawaiians.

    • Ling Ling

      Meanwhile… on another island called “Puerto Rico”…

  • leslie

    not one comment about chris mathews???? not o n e??

    • BloviateMe

      Comments aren’t allowed here.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      If you scroll down far enough you’ll find some. I said my piece hours ago (and delivered several irate tweets @MSNBC yesterday.

    • Bananas Foster

      You mean other than the article about him?

    • Phried Ω

      The surf was breaking both ways this morning. You should have been here about four hours ago.

    • We decided at least two years ago that Tweety is a sexist shitbag. Why beat a dead horse? That would make us just like him

  • James

    Well, I said I was going to log out before, but have been waiting for various telephone calls from my family and local government. I’ve gotten those now, so I am going to log off, lift a glass to my sister-in-law’s memory, and then get ready for a long drive.

    Goodnight, y’all (and thanks to the random anonymous people who plopped money in my sister’s GoFundMe after I posted it here).

    • proudgrampa

      Take care. Be safe.

  • Laurie Anderson is releasing a collaboration with The Kronos Quartet next month and that sound you just heard was my brain going, “BOOM!”

    • Lord Jim

      Intriguing…

    • With Lou Reed showing Bowie around heaven, she has time on her hands again to play the computer

      • She made a movie a couple of years back, which I confess I’ve not yet seen, even though I have access to it. Perhaps I should correct that. It’s only her second, and the only one available on home video, currently.

  • Gosala

    Ok. I tried, but I can’t keep up with you crazy kids tonight. (See “I’m tired ” way below)

    I’ll just leave of with this bit of common sense wisdom I learned from my elders, as you disrespectful whippersnappers should learn from your elders (me).

    https://youtu.be/Rs5_gB582IM

    • Ellie

      Nice addition.

  • Bill D. Burger

    This is prolly’ how the nuclear war with North Korea will start:

    [Hawaii Missile-Attack False Alarm Triggered by Clicking Wrong Button, Official Says

    ‘Somebody clicked on the wrong thing on the computer and sent out the message’
    By Ian Lovett and Natalie Andrews
    Updated Jan. 13, 2018 6:33 p.m. ET
    The false alert of a ballistic missile attack that unleashed panic across Hawaii on Saturday morning was triggered when a state employee accidentally hit the wrong button on a computer, a state official said.]

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/hawaii-officials-mistakenly-warn-of-inbound-missile-1515869701

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ryan and Turtle need help being failures?

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Pure evil. Nothing else but pure evil.

    • Wookie Monster

      Does Trump know he doesn’t support it? Better check with Fox and Fools.

    • Phried Ω

      and just try to find some herring in sour cream at the Hampton Inn breakfast buffet.

      • gallbladder

        I’ve tried. Goddamned frustrating, with or without pants (and/or sobriety.)

      • Covfefe

        Now is not the time to talk about herring in sour cream.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Not one whisper about his ‘tiring and burdensome’ work load during the seven years he was running the Hillary Clinton GOP shitshow’___ but now Gowdy Doody is just tuckered out from being so vigilant and important:

    [Gowdy steps down from Ethics Committee, citing ‘challenging workload’
    BY MAX GREENWOOD – 01/13/18 06:44 PM EST

    Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) has resigned from his post on the House Ethics Committee, citing a challenging workload that also includes his chairmanship on the powerful Oversight Committee.

    In a letter to House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) dated Jan. 10, Gowdy said that he would “treasure” his experience on the Ethics panel, but acknowledged that it was difficult balancing that assignment with his work on other committees.]

    http://thehill.com/homenews/house/368928-gowdy-steps-down-from-ethics-committee-citing-challenging-workload

  • Picabo
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      I hope she is coming along well with treatment. We can’t lose our Selina.

    • janecita

      She is one beautiful (and funny) lady.

  • bbayliss

    So, trump had his 3 am phone call, how’d he do?

    • Gosala

      I think you mean his 3am feeding.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        This

      • Wookie Monster

        Is there a 24-hour McDonald’s near the White House?

    • He said, “Watch this drive”.

      • gallbladder

        And then fucked up a two-inch putt.

    • weejee

      Got caught downloading Rooskie porn.

    • gallbladder

      I think the easier question to ask would be, “How didn’t he do?”

    • Covfefe

      Didn’t over react. For Donald, that’s good.

      • bbayliss

        Didn’t act, even better.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      It’s the only way Trump would find out.

    • TJ Barke

      We would be totally fucked.

  • Ninja0980
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Either that or the media honestly doesn’t care. We already know they’re obsessed with chasing after those mythical “economically anxious” Trump supporters, who by all accounts wouldn’t take kindly to news covering their hero’s negative impact on people they already hate. How many murders or other hate crimes against LGBT people are being covered? Try none?

      It’s only news when it impacts “middle America.” Otherwise it’s bad for ratings. One of the few things Trump ever did was to expose the craven pursuit of “bigly numbers” by our bought-and-sold hack corporate press. They’re not interested in speaking truth to power. Otherwise they wouldn’t have given him free airtime and covered his Nazi WWE rallies instead of ignoring the people who were against him. And they still ignore the people against him!

      This should be America’s epitaph: “He may be bad for America, but he’s been great for CBS.” Les Moonves, more problems.

  • janecita

    Did Trump blame the Hawaii missile fiasco on Obama or Hillary already?

  • Juan de Fuca

    Just got home from day out with Mrs. de Fuca, checked the news and found out some kid who’s 20 years old won the $450 million Mega Millions jackpot – the kid just started working for christ’s sake.

    Good for him, though.

    And also, to the guy in Hawaii who was videoed sticking his young daughter into a manhole covered storm drain because of the accidental missile alert that went out today – DON”T DO THAT PEOPLE. I understand ya’ll were frightened and for good reason, but do not stick your kids into underground confined spaces, no matter what, without testing the atmosphere. Workers die in confined spaces every year because of carbon monoxide and other dangers down below. Don’t do that. It’s not helping.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Red Bird

    Donnie is going to Davos with his billionaire hangers-on cabinet.
    http://money.cnn.com/2018/01/12/news/davos-what-trump-should-say/index.html

  • BloviateMe
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      AAAception.

      • MANGO CRIMES

        boo you beat my version of this obvious joke by seconds (mine has music though).

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          GMTA.

      • JaveyDay

        More like, uh, locked outception.

    • MANGO CRIMES
      • MANGO CRIMES

        (confession: truth is I’ve never seen Inception and I likely never will, because boring, but I do like the theme)

        • Shankojebina

          I tried a couple of times but…enh.

  • Bill D. Burger

    On the side of the SF Fed Building last night:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTdoEO7VoAAHXRi.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • BloviateMe

      I love Stephanie, she’s one of my faves. She takes no shit.

    • Fartknocker

      It’s essentially a money laundering operation. And not a very good one.