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Just don't get Octavia and Vinyl Scratch started on how this tax bill affects performing artists
At least Lyra And Bon Bon can still file a joint return.

Who ever thought that rushing to rewrite most of the goddamn tax code in secret, just for the sake of getting a huge tax cut for rich fuckwads and a “win” for their rich fuckwad president, could possibly have any downside? Turns out that while the White House wants employers to adjust workers’ withholding by mid-February — which is already a little fucked-up, since most people will actually get paid a couple times before then — everyone will still have to check their paychecks to make sure their employers didn’t fuck up. Thank goodness, the IRS has a handy dandy online calculator to make it easy for taxpayers to check their withholding! Oh, except, golly, that calculator isn’t ready yet either. ‘Splainer that for us, Washington Post!

The White House said Thursday that businesses should make these adjustments by Feb. 15, part of the administration’s push for millions of workers to see bigger paychecks as quickly as possible […]

But these tax withholding decisions are based on tax forms Americans file with their employers, known as W-4s, that were written to apply to an outdated tax system.

No, the IRS hasn’t finished writing new W-4 forms either, because as you may recall, the tax bill was written at the very last minute and rushed into effect as of January 1, so no one would have to wait to see their pittance of tax savings right away. So that left the IRS scrambling to make sense of the pile of stupid the Republicans voted on without knowing what’s in it, and then convert that into actual tax rules and forms. The GOP donor class wanted their tax cut, and as Donald Trump reassured them, the very rich will see their big savings right away, especially since they have the best accountants and tax lawyers. Everyone else will have to just stay calm while the IRS works out the bugs.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin explained it’s no problem: All they have to do is take the now-outdated forms and rejigger them a little, and maybe put a matchbook under the tax table so it doesn’t wobble so much:

“We had an existing form,” Mnuchin said. “We had existing technology. We had to figure out how to fit this in this format.”

Easy-peasy! Oh, except that it looks like the new forms may be a little bit off, causing a substantial percentage of folks to not have enough tax withheld, so they may need to pay tax when they file instead of getting a refund. But won’t they be delighted to see how much bigger their (insufficiently withheld) paychecks are, before they pay it all back next April? Besides, once the new tables are all worked out and the calculator is up and running, it’ll be a simple matter for people who actually pay attention to regular announcement from the IRS to go online, use the calculator, and then have their employer withhold the proper amount. Don’t most of us look forward to every last step in taking care of little chores like that? It’s a great time to get in the habit of using a checklist!

In other exciting news of how Trump’s IRS is fucking up, ThinkProgress reports the IRS hired private collection agencies to go after low-income Americans who owe the government small amounts of unpaid tax and penalties. It was a huge success in the way that only a bureaucracy could love:

[The] debt collectors had cost the IRS $20 million but had only brought in $6.7 million — less than one percent of the total amount targeted for collection. In some cases, the private agencies received commissions for work they hadn’t actually carried out.

We bet that $7 million really helped put a dent in the $450 billion in unpaid taxes owed by Americans. Of course, maybe it’s a teensy bit of a problem that instead of going after tax cheats who owe large amounts, the collection agencies did what they do best, shaking down people making less than the national median income. A quarter of the households targeted for collections had incomes under 250 percent of the federal poverty level — which by coincidence is pretty much the definition of “low income.”

You will not be the least bit surprised to learn that despite the dismal outcome, the IRS plans to continue using private collection agencies, because the practice was pushed by congressional Republicans. And yes, when Mnuchin was asked about the use of private debt collectors during his confirmation hearings, he replied, “it seems like a very obvious thing to do.”

As for the IRS using IRS agents to go after any of the rich fuckwads avoiding taxes, don’t hold your breath — the agency’s lost a fifth of its funding since 2010, and has been targeted for further budget cuts, because EVERYONE hates the IRS.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money. Not sure how much to give? “A lot” is good.

[WaPo / ThinkProgress]

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  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    As a payroll manager, this has been a fucking nightmare, and I already have some employees angry with ME, because they’re expecting these huge increases in their paycheck and want to know why I haven’t fixed my tax tables.

  • MynameisBlarney

    He is literally fucking everything up he possibly can.

    • TJ Barke

      Like he’s trying to sabotage our country or something…

    • willi0000000

      he’s had some world-class help!

  • The Wanderer

    You know, I can’t help feeling that the GOP has not a clue about public policy or even basic governance.

    • willi0000000

      don’ wanna govern . . . wanna rule!!!!!
      – all of them

  • Anna Rompage

    The ‘sneaky Diane Feinstein” a sexual encounter that involves two muscle relaxers, a large eggplant, and a piece of rubber hose…

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      I, uh, ok..

      This is apropos of what, exactly?

      • rg9rts

        its anna’s douche

    • efoveks

      Make sure that eggplant is fresh, too dammit!

    • willi0000000

      what? . . . no linoleum?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • OrG Unstable Genius

    I only hate the IRS because of shit like this.

    • Asterix

      It’s not the IRS (or your Accountant :) ), it’s Congress and their bullshit “governing”. They are understaffed, overworked and were ordered to hire debt collectors. Congress is to blame for the fucking stupid bill that debt collectors presented.

      • C4TWOMAN

        AS a kid I overheard a lot of conspiracy nuttery that made me vaguely adverse to the IRS. So when I heard about Scientology’s Operation Snow White(how they harassed and badgered the IRS to give them tax exempt status), I was like “Oh come ON! If they’re harassing the poor surely they can tell Scilons to go fuck themselves.”

        The truth is they’re just as beleaguered as other agency. By virtue of their mission they do get funded reliably, they don’t have to worry about money at least.

  • GoutMachine

    I’m beginning to think Republicans aren’t very good at governing.

    • MynameisBlarney

      They are living up to their platform of “Govt. doesn’t work! Elect me and I’ll prove it to ya!”

      • GoutMachine

        The Party of Self-fulfilling Prophecy

    • rg9rts

      Beginning??

    • data_ninja

      Well, the lobbyists write the bills for them anyways. Just a matter of time until the outsource the executive branch, unless you count Russia…

  • WiscoJoe

    Do we even need to pay taxes this year? I’m just going to take my magic tax postcard, scribble a big fat zero on it in red crayon and then mail it back to the IRS. (No stamp. Paying for stamps is for cucks.) If I understand the new patriotism, this makes me like really, really, really smart.

    • GoutMachine

      Only works if you have $6,000,000.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Smrtr ‘n fuck, akshally.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      “Preznit Donald Trump said not paying taxes makes him smart, so since I want to be smart I refuse to pay my taxes too.”

      • C4TWOMAN

        People should do this for the lulz. I mean in addition to paying what you owe. I think many people at the IRS have a sense of humor…provided it doesn’t actually disrupt their jobs.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          The people actually working at the IRS are really nice and helpful though. If they where assholes or if they outsource it then I would do that.

      • WiscoJoe

        Exactly! And then if you get in trouble, you can just scream “DEEPSTATE MCCARTHYISM UNFAIR HILLARY,” which according to the President is now a totally legitimate legal defense. God bless law and order!

        • Rosa

          Goo-g-le is pay-i-ng 97$ per hour,w-i-th weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.On tues-d-ay I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever do-n-e .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it!rw363v:⇨⇨⇨ http://GoogleNewNetJobsBuyWorkFromHome/online/easytasks ♥♥j♥♥q♥♥q♥♥h♥♥♥e♥♥j♥♥b♥s♥♥w♥♥j♥♥m♥♥h♥♥e♥♥♥s♥♥g♥f♥v♥d♥♥♥s♥♥♥h♥♥♥z♥♥♥a♥p♥f♥o:::::!yw62r:lweiy

        • Angelina

          Go-o-gle is paying 97$ per hour,wi-t-h weekly pa-y-outs.You can al-s-o avail this.On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Ro-v-er from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the mo-s-t-comfortable job I have ever done .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!ix263l:➺➺➺ http://GoogleWageExpressJobsFromHomeJobs/computer/jobs ♥♥♥b♥♥h♥♥♥f♥♥♥g♥♥a♥♥♥w♥♥e♥♥♥u♥♥n♥♥♥n♥i♥s♥♥q♥f♥♥♥q♥x♥♥z♥v♥♥♥d♥c♥o♥♥b♥♥w♥♥♥g♥♥♥q:::::!zx991y:lwe

    • Bright Bart

      honestly what are they gonna do if you don’t pay, dip into two scoop’s golfing fund? sell his gold plated butt plug? not likely.

      • WiscoJoe

        It depends on how much I owe. If I owe less than $10,000 they’ll spend $12,000 to send a collection agent after me for the rest of my life. If it’s over $100,000, I get invited to speak at the next RNC. If it’s over $1,000,000, I get to stand and salute the flag while lecturing a homeless veteran about personal responsibility. If it’s over 100,000,000 Rubles, I automatically get elected President.

    • Jany

      The Trump/GOP switch to a territorial tax system means U.S. companies can now move abroad to a country with a lower tax rate (Ireland at 10%, for example) and scribble a big fat zero in red crayon to the IRS when they bring their money back to the U.S.
      TERRITORIAL SYSTEM: Exempts U.S. corporations from U.S. taxes on most future foreign profits.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Indiepalin

    The IRS has been instructed to withhold zero taxes from anyone who is a registered voter until 11/7/2018

    • willi0000000

      only Democrats and Independents.

  • memzilla Ω

    Further confirmation of the #ETTD hashtag: Everything TrumpTouches Dies.

  • SDGeoff3

    I got feisty and filed my taxes today. Nice to have them out of the way.

    • BearGHAZI

      Stupid Flanders!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Stupid sexy Flanders!

        • SDGeoff3

          mmm-hmm….

    • Raan

      I wish we could; we’re still waiting on W-2s.

    • ScottGoode

      Good idea. You might get your rebate back before they run out of money.

      • SDGeoff3

        Now that you mention it…

  • Gayer Than Thou

    [The] debt collectors had cost the IRS $20 million but had only brought in $6.7 million — less than one percent of the total amount targeted for collection.

    Say, you know who else is paid far more than they are worth?

    • Raan

      Everyone in the party currently in power?

    • BearGHAZI

      Dolly Parton?

      OMG JUST KIDDING

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Albert Pujols?

      • Arolpin

        Bobby Bonilla! (He still gets paid $1.19million a year by the Mets, and will until 2035.)

    • Me not sure

      Ooooh! Me, me, me! Everyone on Fox News.

    • theblackdog

      Every fucking CEO of a US based company?

      • Arolpin

        Well, currently, maybe. My previous company, before we got bought by Zayo, had an incredible CEO. By the end we were making $125million in profits on $500million in sales, and I think his base was bumped to $600,000/year. Yes, he got a lot of stock, but most of it was granted when the company was coming out of bankruptcy and basically worth nothing. He was only the CEO because he was the only member of the executive team (just promoted to VP of Operations) who wasn’t forced out as part of the bankruptcy, and he was the interim CEO for a couple years because they couldn’t find anyone to run the company for less than twice what they were paying him.
        He also did everything he could to stop the sale, including trying to outbid Zayo. (He ended up at about 99% of the Zayo offer, but the board decided to fuck the employees and took the Zayo offer.)
        He’s not a CEO anymore, he just sits on corporate boards of other mid-sized companies and makes more in salary than he ever did as a CEO.
        He doesn’t look like a CEO though, he’s a bit dumpy looking, kind of like a telco OPS boss should look, but he knew his stuff to the point that executives of Fortune 100 companies confused him for an OPS guy just coming to the meeting for the free lunch, especially when he gave the entire technical presentation (and then rushed off to speak to institutional investors).

        • theblackdog

          Sounds like your guy was a pretty decent guy, credit to him for trying to avoid being bought out.

          • Arolpin

            He was a great guy, even if he was ex-Army (West Point grad).

  • rg9rts

    Where are his returns??? I’m waiting over a year…still in audit??? FIRE THE IRS

  • memzilla Ω
    • GoutMachine

      He’s new at this.

    • TundraGrifter

      That list should include the state of New Jersey (New Jersey!) finding his casino guilty of employment discrimination based on race.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I feel like this is a trick question…

      • GoutMachine

        So, Mr. Trump, when did you stop beating your wife, and when did you start being a racist?

      • memzilla Ω

        Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Wonketariat Party?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    A little louder for the people in the back:

    As promised I would give you guys an update as soon as Lyin’ Pete’s apology was published today and whooptiefriggingdoo! is it as dissapointing as one would expect.

    The news outlet im frage that interviewed him for it was indeed de Telegraaf. A newspaper so up the Nazi regime’s ass during WW2 that it was prohibited to publish for 30 years after the war.

    Lyin’ Pete did in fact acknowlegde that he was wrong and that everything he said did not happen. So Pete, did you lie? No no no, I simply mixed up the countries. Ofcourse the Telegraaf could not be arsed to ask which country he mixed up the Netherlands with (Standard Dutch joke would be Denmark because a genuine redneck American knows Holland is the capital of Kopenhagen) so we will never know!

    Or will we? Mny Dutch journalists have already made it their crusade to ask that pesky follow up question the next time Pete leaves the front door.

    Here you can read some ever so eloquent responses from my fair countryguys and gals.

    https://twitter.com/EF_61/status/951896489407713280
    https://twitter.com/victorDLV/status/951889691774799874
    https://twitter.com/JaspervanSoest/status/951889256426934272
    https://twitter.com/LyingPeteHoekst

    Your reporter on the Dutch front, 12 meters below sealevel: Back to you wonkette!

    • janecita

      You guys are having way too much fun with this dumbass, I love it!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        You know what happens when you call The Netherlands, Holland. We get all uppity just for fun. Just imagine when we really aren’t taken seriously.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    On the Wapo article there are so many Trumpiters claiming that since the IRS doesnt have the tax cuts for the super rich worked out already it means they should all be fired and the IRS should be abolished or privatized.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Considering the bill wasn’t signed until 12 days before the end of the year, were they expecting everyone to work 24/7 and cancel their holidays?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        They think its easy to do because reasons. Also gubmit is bad and private sector is great. I couldn’t really follow the logic.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I can’t file this year, because my trickle is being audited.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Turn your head, and cough.”

  • TundraGrifter

    We went through this under President Bush (43) when this Administration “adjusted” the withholding to “give” workers larger paychecks without actually reducing the amount of Federal income tax owed. Walla Walla – people had to pay the next year instead of receiving a refund.

    • theblackdog

      Yeah, that was a really fun time for me in undergrad.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Dick-in-a-suit Steve Mnuchin always has the best interest of working-class Americans at heart. Just as we have always been at war with Eurasia. Look, the president’s* economic advisors’ policy justification to get the “tax cut” to show up in February paychecks is nothing more that a bid to get these jag-offs through the November elections. They don’t give a fuck what happens when people see how much they really owe come early 2019. By then, it will be too late.

  • OneYieldRegular

    But this was all supposed to fit on a postcard, wasn’t it?

    Or is the postcard the thing from the Cayman Islands that reads “So long, suckers!”

  • OT. everyone’s favorite Russian intelligence (and I use this term lightly here) asset appears to be having issues with personal hygiene. http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/01/12/wikileaks-founder-julian-assanges-poor-hygiene-sparks-complaints-at-ecuador-embassy-report-says.html

    • Beanz&Berryz

      A “whiff of controversy“

    • janecita

      “He stinks like a common Bannon.”

      Embassy staff

    • Marion in Savannah

      Why does this not surprise me?

    • theblackdog

      Wait, Fox News is reporting this? I’d have expected them to be all “Julian Assange smells like a fresh cut meadow every day so stop hating on him!”

  • Michael Smith

    Well, even if the tax system winds up being worse than before, and even if this negatively affects business owners, they’ll still take it over anything Obama did, because at least Trump doesn’t have unfathomable gall to say things that imply that non-business owners deserve anything other than what business owners deem fitting.

    Trump encourages the IRS to disproportionately antagonize poor people? Great! Nothing makes the rich feel like they are being properly appreciated like shitting on the poor.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Doggo Meme Dump, because, holy fuckin hell.

    http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-animals/best-doggy-snapchats-27-pics/

    • Asterix

      Oh thank you for that – best laugh all day.

  • JaveyDay

    Clearly it makes sense for the IRS to go after poor people who owe a pittance in unpaid taxes. No reason whatsoever for them to start going after the ultra-wealthy who have hidden TRILLIONS offshore.

    I would be all for lower tax rates if the IRS had an aggressive enforcement division that went after high net-worth tax evaders. Give them an option: pay the taxes you owe on all the money you’ve hidden from us or we take it all and you go to jail. That might actually get these assholes to pay what they owe.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I remember seeing a chart from years ago explaining why they don’t. And it was something like “most tax payers are under the $100,000 bracket”. It was pointed out that while yes, most individuals are, most of the MONEY is above that bracket. So there seems to be a policy of “not bothering” because there’s no significant percentage of tax evasion about $100,000. I don’t think the IRS set out to avoid the rich, just that the policies were made by people with that agenda.

      Peeps who are on the inside can update/clarify my faded memory.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, too, marginal rates need to go to the fucking Andromeda Galaxy for incomes in excess of 500k.

      • willi0000000

        put them back to that other Republican President’s* levels.

        * Eisenhower (over 90% top marginal rate)

        [ of course the top 0.1% paid an average 60% and the 1% paid 55% because the top marginal is only on the last dollars you earn – but look at that . . . 60% and 55% – now that would put a dent in things]

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      It’s so much more complicated to go after the uberrich. Look how long it’s taking them to audit Dampnut’s taxes….

      • data_ninja

        I’m thinking between the lawyers and accountants who guard the money of the rich, it’s probably a faster turnaround to go after the poor. On paper, it looks efficient, while in practice, it seems barbaric and misguided.

  • doktorzoom

    Pretty much everything makes me ragey today. But Lyra and Bon Bon? They make me smile.

    • GoutMachine

      You must adopt the GoutMachine credo: Everything is terrible.

  • Nounverb911
  • Crystalclear12

    This is going as well as I expected it to.
    Shit

  • Villago Delenda Est

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Everything, Katie?

  • Marion in Savannah

    I figure that my tax guy started drinking a while ago, and most likely hasn’t stopped yet. I’m just hoping that he can get over his DTs before I have to file for an extension.

  • Reximus
    • GoutMachine

      Pee tape?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Sheepshagger

      Man when your lawyer can’t even hush up a hooker with money.. That’s just professional negligence.

      • Asterix

        No, that’s Trump’s Lawyers. They are that stupid.

        Of course, you get what you pay for.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Or not pay for…

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Be nice. She was an adult film actress, not a hooker. Yes, she was paid to have sex, but it was legal.

    • Asterix

      Gawds I hope this is true!

    • Iron Monkey

      Far from the most important detail in the story, but how did they negotiate that particular amount?

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Collusion!!11

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • ariel_gee_398

    You know, when a crack appears in the defensive humor and I stop to think about how massively fucking irresponsible these people are, it’s staggering. They shouldn’t be put in charge of the care of a goldfish funeral let alone any form of government.

  • Bright Bart

    Deer IRS, in lew of paymenz here are two pokemons,
    a small log and a sloppy steve.
    We good?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Here is Sen. Lindsey Graham a few minutes ago, speaking about Trump’s racist comments yesterday:

    “The American people will ultimately judge us on the outcome we achieve, not the process which led to it.”

    Try going back 80 years and substituting “German people” for “American people” in that sentence.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Or the Klan. Those fuckers.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Process matters, asshole. In fact, it can determine outcome. Just ask Cameron Todd Willingham.

    • theblackdog

      Hey asshat, your outcome is that the world is going to hate the US so badly that there will be a brain drain as people run the hell away.

      • willi0000000

        started in the 90s when they cancelled the SSC and all the top particle physicists ran to CERN . . . other things have done similar but that’s my pet peeve*

        * my peeve is brown and white and sleeps under the bed

        • Rags

          I”m just pissed they didn’t turn it into he coolest cycle track in the world.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I have to check, but when I’m teaching math I always tell my students that the process is just as important as the answer. But I’m not a closeted South Carolina Senator so what do I know!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Ahhh — “show you work.” I remember that!

        • OneYieldRegular

          In the context of coming out of the closet, “show your work” now takes on a whole new meaning.

        • cmd resistor

          Way back in the day I used to kind of enjoy doing geometric proofs, although I couldn’t do one now if I tried.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I hated doing proofs. Evidently, I don’t think logically. On the other hand, I loved diagramming sentences.

          • cmd resistor

            Somehow I never was taught sentence diagramming. I think it was one of those things that was favored, then not. I remember worrying that this would be an issue in college.

    • TJ Barke

      Because ends justifying means has never led to anything horrific before…

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      “Those who seek absolute power, even though they seek it to do what they regard as good, are simply demanding the right to enforce their own version of heaven on earth. And let me remind you, they are the very ones who always create the most hellish tyrannies.” – Barry Goldwater

      • Marion in Savannah

        In our guts we knew he was nuts, but he’s still infinitely better than what we have now.

    • jowgajen

      Lindsey, Donald will never love you, you need to stop making a fool of yourself man.

    • calliecallie

      So he’s suggesting the ends justify the means? Seriously?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Not only do the ends justify the means but the ends amount to “Fuck y’all.”

    • ScottGoode

      Didn’t Jesus say that? Or was it Buddha? I get them mixed up sometimes

    • Paperless Tiger

      “The American people will ultimately judge us on the outcome we achieve, not the process which led to it.”

      In some cases, judges will will do the judging.

      • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

        Here’s what an American president said in public one time about our country’s role in the modern world. I marvel from time to time — given the current level of Republicant discourse — that this speech was delivered during my lifetime:

        The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it–and the glow from that fire can truly light the world.”

        In terms of eloquence, I believe this to be as far from “shithole countries” as it is possible to get. It is hard for me to grasp the fact that we have fallen so far in a mere 57 years.

  • JaveyDay

    SUPPORT CAPITALIST PUNISHMENT

    I mean, seriously, can we start actually putting some of these assholes in prison for their crimes? If you steal $100 from a convenience store, you go to jail. Steal billions and you get a cover on Forbes.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Or the Presidency

  • Shibusa

    Okay, nothing to do with taxes but I figured you guys would enjoy:
    https://twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/951910412651581440

    • ariel_gee_398

      If they had to pay her $130k to keep her quiet, how much did they have to pay her to have sex with him in the first place?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Consensual?

    • BadKitty904
      • JaveyDay

        Haha! That’s the exact thought I had when I saw this post. Then I clicked “Show new replies” and this popped up. Well played!

    • Victoria Ricola

      Of course this happened.

      • Shibusa

        Guessing that’s not the only check Michael Cohen wrote to shut these ladies up.

        • cmd resistor

          Yet he is suing Buzzfeed for something to do with the Dossier.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m sure that was her easiest gig ever.

      • JaveyDay

        Totally not worth it.

      • ScottGoode

        “are you sure it’s in?”
        “pant, pant I’m done”
        “….that was incredible sug”

    • georgiaburning

      Trump Foundation payment?

      • LesBontemps

        You don’t really think he’d use his own money, do you?

        • georgiaburning

          Not a chance. Those are hard earned rubles

    • ariel_gee_398

      This is alleged to have happened in July 2006, when Barron Trump would have been about 4 months old. Family values.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        “It was the woman’s fault.”
        -the Economically Anxious Trump Supporter

      • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

        I believe the “family values” were even more at play when he was trying to fuck the wives of his friends, per “Fire and Fury”.

      • Shibusa

        And while Melania was preggers with Barron, Donnie Two Scoops had an affair with a Playboy bunny named Karen MacDougal. DJT’s pal who owns the National Enquirer paid her $150,000 in order to kill her story. (WSJ broke it before the election but Trumpkins did not care, of course. Because economicracial anxiety.

    • Reximus
    • Bill D. Burger

      Her porn name: “Urine Trouble” aka “Goldie Showers”

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Her porn name was Stormy Daniels. I’m assuming Stormy Weather was taken?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I hate to go there, but that is about the most authentic human expression I’ve ever seen on him. He definitely just got some.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Jenny

      His fans will love it because porn star, hot chick, whatever woman they wish they could get.

      He’s just like us cuz he likes hot chicks too and he can pay them to go away!$$

  • BadKitty904

    The “President” doesn’t pay taxes, so why should we?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      It’s un-presidential to pay taxes and I’m not going to pivot about that.

      • BadKitty904

        We peasants just follow the example set by our Dear Leader…

        • H0mer0

          revolting?

          • Andy

            They stink on ice. PULL!

  • theblackdog

    I clearly picked the wrong year to get married. Stupid me should have just eloped last year.

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    OT: The transcript of the statement issued by the UN commission on human rights regarding Trump’s comments.

    “These are shocking and shameful comments from the President of the United States. I’m sorry, but there’s no other word one can use but ‘racist’.

    “You cannot dismiss entire countries and continents as ‘s***holes’, whose entire populations are not white are therefore not welcome.

    “The positive comment on Norway makes the underlying sentiment very clear.

    “Like the earlier comments made vilifying Mexicans and Muslims, the policy proposals targeting entire groups on grounds of nationality or religion, and the reluctance to clearly condemn the antisemitic and racist actions of the white supremacists in Charlottesville, all of these go against the universal values the world has been striving so hard to establish since World War Two and the Holocaust.

    “This isn’t just a story about vulgar language, it’s about opening the door to humanity’s worst side.

    “It’s about validating and encouraging racism and xenophobia that will potentially disrupt and even destroy the lives of many people, and that’s perhaps the single most damaging and dangerous consequence of this type of comment by a major political figure.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Wow. Nice to see that some people can still use words.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        People from Not America use English better than the current President of the United States.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Hopefully, Nikki was taking names.

    • BadKitty904

      Putin never made a better purchase. And so cheap!

  • calliecallie

    I think instead of paying taxes this year, I should just send them a postcard.

  • Me not sure

    My son came by the house yesterday with a 2017 w-4 and asked me if I knew why they were asked to fill out a form for a year that has already passed. I told him that I didn’t know for sure, but thought it had to do with the fucked up tax bill. Thanks for making me look good, Dok.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Remember when some people bitched and bitched about the Obamacare site being unresponsive? Hold on to your asses because with this hastily cobbled probably not-fully-tested new IRS online withholding calculator, you ain’t seen buggy yet.

  • Sheepshagger

    Trump sure does have the best peeps:

    “This White House can’t even run a f*cking conference call,” a reporter on an unmuted phone line angrily exclaimed to the entire call. “They don’t know how to mute their line.”
    “It’s the illegitimate media that doesn’t know how to conduct themselves. They can’t mute their f*cking phones,” an unidentified official said. “Mute your phones.”
    Another White House official repeatedly attempted to quiet the noisy line “so the people in charge” could talk.
    “I think if everyone had half a brain and common sense and muted their phones, this wouldn’t be a problem,” she yelled in an apparent fit of frustration.
    “Hello? Hello?,” one reporter interjected, some 15 minutes after the slated start of the call. “Has the call started?”
    “This is Kim Jong Un calling for Donald Trump,” another reporter joked as tensions flared.
    “All participants are now in listen-only mode,” the operator finally announced, much to the relief of everyone on the call. The call began at 1:07 p.m.

  • BadKitty904
  • Iron Monkey

    In some cases, the private agencies received commissions for work they hadn’t actually carried out.

    Shock horror! How could anyone think that companies in an industry with such a sterling reputation for honesty and ethical behavior as the debt collection business would take advantage of a client.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, except that it looks like the new forms may be a little bit off, causing a substantial percentage of folks to not have enough tax withheld, so they may need to pay tax when they file instead of getting a refund

    Those of us who work as tax preparers are already looking forward to this crap. JFC…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9cad8f05fdcd56b73e963adf4b77fd94cb3526cf33aad741e11a884f5f608620.jpg

    • willi0000000

      in a lot of cases, that’s going to be spent money come “refund” time . . . which, of course, means penalties and interest!

      [ fuck ’em when they’re standing in front of you, fuck ’em when they fall down too ]

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Besides, once the new tables are all worked out and the calculator is up and running, it’ll be a simple matter for people who actually pay attention to regular announcement from the IRS to go online, use the calculator, and then have their employer withhold the proper amount.

    So Donald has gone from not hiring people in key positions to outsourcing the work to the American people. Good to know!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/baae234eef8439761688067bd36e75ed28ece958e8e26ddf96bea5dc207c3543.jpg

    • Sophia

      He said he’d bring jobs. He didn’t say anything about what they were and that you would work for free

    • the american people need to be told to not to iron clothes while wearing them.

      this will go well.

  • CW
    • Like Really Smart Radio

      She looks like Ivanka

    • ScottGoode

      Really? I thought he was a germaphobe.

    • Didn’t she run for congress post Katrina?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Guys? Did you know the story about Harry Leslie Smith? https://twitter.com/Harryslaststand

    After I found out he never received a Dutch medal for his work liberating The Netherlands I took it as my personal objective to give this man a medal.

    Todat I got news from our defence department that the British have denied any form of decoration from foreign governments but that I can commend hem for the Thank You Liberator Medal and all I have to do is provide the Dutch army with his addres and the British militairy attaché will provide him the medal.

    What is the best way to get his address you reckon?

    • Marion in Savannah

      He’s got a Twitter account. Maybe just tell him via Twitter what you’d like to do and what you need, and supply him with a confidential way to get that information to you, or give him the name and contact information of someone in the Dutch army. You’re doing a wonderful thing here!

      ON EDIT — I are a moran. Here’s a link to his Twitter:

      https://twitter.com/Harryslaststand/status/951839209081462784?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        @Harryslaststand Sir, could you provide me your address in DM? I would like to present you a medal from the Netherlands. After careful research I discovered you have not been awarded any medal for your services in the netherlands and it would be my humble honor to do so.

        is this ok?

        • Marion in Savannah

          That certainly sounds good. He sounds like quite the feisty old dude — it would be wonderful to be able to meet him!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I know. As a grandson of so many brave men it would honor me greatly.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Good luck, and keep us posted. You’re really a special person, you know.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            @HarryslaststandDutch Military authorities requested me to find out your address for the British milirairy attaché to honor you with it. Once again thank you for your services. 2/2

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            And thanks but no. Just a regular guy.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Maybe check with Kafka?

  • Master Contrail Program

    If they wanted an independent contractor to collect people’s back taxes they should have brought in an expert. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/999771bf066a8c7185379389e69972ec4a2ad0c7ee59cf7c4d1ce5667aea3be6.gif

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      I don’t get it, too subtle

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • data_ninja

      Finally. I’ve been waiting for this.

    • “Severe disapproval” doesn’t work with psychopaths.

      I’ve tried to talk with Republicans before.

      1000% waste of time.

    • H0mer0

      To Dog’s ear

  • Bill D. Burger

    Miss Lindsey weighs in ………….. and fails! SAD

    Trump HAS to have something on the Southern Moonbat. Pics of him blowing someone at a roadside produce stand in Columbia….something….

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/951915464791416832

    • borninatrailer

      “Pics of him blowing someone at a roadside produce stand in Columbia”

      Well that was a surprisingly easy visualization.

    • cmd resistor

      I saw something briefly about some connection between Graham’s campaign manager and Manafort. Not much detail but it would be irresponsible not to speculate. Seems more likely it is a money thing. If there is sex dirt on him it isn’t new, don’t you think?

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        I think he was coerced into doing something sorta shady to keep gay stuff quiet, then coerced into doing something moar shady to keep the sorta shady quiet, then was coerced into doing hella crime to keep the moar shady quiet, and so and and so forth and what have you.
        Remember, Russians start small, and you’re compromised long before you realize you’re compromised.

        • CW

          His being gay isn’t a secret.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Right, which is why he’d do something just a wee bit shady to keep a video, say, under wraps.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Take your white power ideals somewhere else, Lindsey.

    • CW

      We all know Graham is gay, so maybe his side piece is a Catholic or some other questionable type.

    • Fartknocker

      Translation: I watched a car wreck, and instead of dialing 9-1-1, I drove away. I later learned someone’s child died. That was sad. Well, time for a mint julep and a chicken biscuit. Repugnant fucker is Miss Lindsey.

    • puredog

      Miss Lindsay saying her piece to Donnie: “Peace, Donnie!”

    • Giving BJ’s to Russian oligarchs is not illegal…
      http://www.palmerreport.com/analysis/oligarch-graham-lindsey-kremlin/7219/

  • cmd resistor

    They for sure will screw up the withholding and when people have to pay next year it will be Obama’s fault.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      It will be after the election so they wont care.

      • willi0000000

        nah . . . they always care whose fault it is.

  • Teecha

    Does your employer have to hold on to your money for you? Could you just take your full salary and pay it when it’s the end of the financial year?
    I’ve got friends who are self employed back home, and they pay when it’s been calculated. Or they pay an estimate in October and it’s reconciled in March. Mostly, they put a percentage of earnings in the bank ready for the tax bill.
    I’ve never been self employed, so I just hand my employer my P60 and they sort it all out and I never have anything to do with HMRC, except when they wrote to me to say I’d paid too much and gave me a cheque for £2k.

    • WIDTAP

      Employers are required to withhold payroll taxes in conformance with the W-4 that you provide. Remember, it’s not just Income Tax They also withhold Social Security and Medicare taxes, which are mandatory.

      If you are self-employer, these taxes are charged differently, but you still have to pay them. You are also requires to estimate your taxes and file such quarterly, and pay quarterly within a certain percentage of the estimated final tax due (or pay a hefty penalty).

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Even if you claim zero exemptions some baseline level of tax is withheld. So for example if you make $5,000 per month a little less than 20% is taken out for taxes if you claim zero exemptions. The more exemptions you claim, the less that is withheld.

  • Jezzam

    I can fuck up me taxes all by myself. Thanks

    • Sheepshagger

      So my collection of pornographic figurines isn’t deductible?

      • Jezzam

        Depends on what you use them for. Please elaborate

        • puredog

          I am still trying to figure out how to make these critters o’ mine deductible. There MUST be a way!

          • willi0000000

            “service animal” . . . it’s the republican way to bring your mutt or pet baboon into a restaurant with you.

          • puredog

            The idea of either of these critters qualifying for certification as “service aminals” (and I am sure some sort of certification would be required for IRS purposes) sends me into the howling fantods.

          • willi0000000

            WE DON’T NEED ON STINKING CERTIFICATIONS, WE’RE REPUBLICANS!

          • InDogsWeTrust

            I LOVE me a good DFW reference. Am I the only one who read Infinite Jest all the way through? (Yes, even the footnotes).

          • Mehmeisterjr

            So would Stormy Daniels qualify as a seeing-eye porn star?

          • Red Richmond

            Business expense. Charge stupid, kinky rich people to have them stuck up their asses.

          • puredog

            I love them too much.

          • Hiss

            Well, I worship the Egyptian cat goddess Bast. Shouldn’t anything I spend on my cats be deductible because religion?

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Figurines? No. Now blow-up dolls may be covered under dependents…

        • data_ninja

          Are those adjusted for inflation?

          • H0mer0

            ISWYDT

  • puredog

    I am glad I am self-employed, because as a proud 10/15 filer (often), I cannot see myself riding heard on each paycheck re withholding.

  • willi0000000

    i knew an IRS lawyer who once bragged to me that they had won a case with a collection of $7,000,000 . . . that’s a lot of money.

    unfortunately, i asked what the person owed . . . it was $14,000,000!

    of course, my next question was . . . “if i owe $3,000, can i settle for just $1,500?”

    [ probably shouldn’t have mentioned that, as far as i (as an honest taxpayer) was concerned, considered it a loss of $7,000,000 . . . republicans, they really can’t take a joke ]

    • Arolpin

      Probably not. But if you owed $30,000, they would probably settle for $15,000. For some reason, $10,000 appears to be where they will let you negotiate. (I ended up owing NY State $9000 in taxes many years ago because of an error my tax person made, and when I tried to negotiate it down somewhat, they basically said they don’t negotiate on bills of less than $10k.)

      • willi0000000

        my point is . . . if they won’t negotiate a $1 amount owed, they shouldn’t negotiate any amount!

        [ the original questions asked were just to piss off the IRS lawyer . . . i had a pretty good idea what the answers were before asking . . . although i did think the total owed would have been much higher ]

        • Let’s not even mention the trillions that people who cheat on their taxes get away with that aren’t even detected.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Treasury Inspector General’s Office determines no political interference occurred in developing Treasury study of tax plan.

  • clairence

    “It looks like the new forms may be a little bit off, causing a
    substantial percentage of folks to not have enough tax withheld, so they
    may need to pay tax when they file instead of getting a refund.”

    So if I’m reading this right, voters will see big tax relief up to and just beyond the election, then have to pay it all back next year. Brilliant!

  • Lordpnut

    This assholery is just the tip of the iceberg. Anything in the new code that is ambiguous will eventually be resolved by litigating those issues one-by-one. If I had children entering college, I’d suggest tax law, if job security and financial reward are your priorities. These cases will still be in the pipe when they graduate law school.

  • Projected timeline:
    — GOP passes tax scam, and take credit.
    — Implement it in a way to make it look better than it is, by messing up withholding, and take credit for how good it looks.
    — Democrats crush in November, and take Congress.
    — Downside of tax scam becomes more clear.
    — Blame Democrats.

    • handyhippie65

      dammit! you and that fuckin logic will be the death of us. you’re not from the future, are you? i’d like to believe you might be wrong, but fear you are spot on.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    In one of Bill Bryson’s many very funny books that I read about 20 years ago, he mentions an article he read that said the IRS had purchased some special tax collection software that cost (I’m guessing here) $1 million, and it managed to collect (another guess) about $20 million in unpaid taxes, which was a phenomenal return on their investment. However, the next year Congress had one of their budget-balancing fits and cut the IRS budget and the IRS had to stop using that software. Bill thought this was a stupid and counter-productive action on the part of Congress, and I have to agree. I wish I could remember which of his books I read this in so I could look it up and quote it, but I don’t.

  • No one in the mainstream media (which leans Republican) thought of asking Mnuchin, why this is being hailed as a revamp of the tax code, when the old W-4s still work just fine?

    Another query to Mnuchin: “Will you be doing your taxes on a postcard?”

    • javadavis

      Follow up question ; :if you can do the math on a postcard showing that the cost of something that ‘seems an obvious thing to do’ totally over shadows any benefit, and yet you still support that something the why the everloving fuck do you still have a job anywhere that requires financial acumen or rational thinking?”
      The answer, I suppose, would be that his current job does not require those things, it requires a deft tongue and a tolerance for ratfuckery. But I still wonder what his response might be.

  • mailman27

    If somebody comes after me and mine with the old “We’re a private collection agency, but we’re really, like, the IRS…” can i just say “Go fuck yourself?” Cuz I really would probably, you know, wanna say that.

    • unionthuggery

      I feel like that would be the right thing to do.

    • handyhippie65

      call it free speech like the nasties, i mean nazis, do and it should be good.

    • BeachLoafer

      Especially since claiming to represent the IRS is one of the oldest telephone scams there is – why the hell would anyone believe them in the first place?

      • Rickyphoo

        Who hasn’t gotten the robocall from the “IRS” telling you that armed agents are, at that very moment, coming to arrest you. However, if you call the provided number they will keep you out of jail?

        • H0mer0

          If I’m ignoring my bills, do they think I’m going to pay attention to a phone call?(The bills know where I work and where I live.)

  • unionthuggery

    I have had nothing but pleasant experiences with the IRS, even when I owed them money. The people on the phone were friendly, helpful, and accommodating. I’m sure this administration will find some way to fuck that up.

    • mailman27

      And these people have had their legs cut out from under them with budget cuts by the Republican legislature. I know that it’s considered a stretch to sympathize with the IRS, but every civil servant has become terribly familiar with being slapped around in public opinion while doing twice as much with half the personnel.

      • unionthuggery

        Not to mention the managerial bureaucracy deciding to “incorporate private sector best practices”, or force productivity speed ups via programs like Lean Six Sigma. Creating hostile working environments, pushing long time experienced career employees to the breaking point, forcing more work on fewer people, creating an environment for more on the job injuries or job related illnesses. The federal workforce has been shit on for years, and our benefits are the low hanging fruit in budget negotiations. While Democrats can be sketchy allies, Republicans absolutely screw us every chance they get.

    • javadavis

      We have also had good experiences with the IRS.
      It has, however, become really difficult to contact the IRS by phone. They no longer have the staffing for that.
      It is totally ridiculous. Defunding the IRS was definitely a Where the Wolves fuck move.

    • BeachLoafer

      I’ve been in a fairly deep hole with the IRS a couple of times, generally due to my own poor planning (for instance, I didn’t plan properly for 2008’s economic implosion, whose ripple effects still impact my taxes to this day), and I have to agree that absolutely everyone I’ve dealt with there has been entirely professional and helpful to the extent they were able.

      Now, as a believer in paying taxes, it may have helped that I didn’t get on the phone screaming SovCit/TeaParty shit at them about their authority to take my money, but chalk me up as another taxpayer satisfied with that particular part of the bureaucracy.

      I’m sure the Republicans will do everything they can to drive the competent employees out so that the remaining ones can live down to the reputation they’d like the IRS to have.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m pleased to say that I’ve had good experiences too. And one of my IRS issues took a couple of years to resolve, what with paperwork going back and forth and payment arrangements being approved. I ran into one slightly-snotty paperpusher along the way in the early 2000s, but that was maybe a five minute interaction, and really not even a nasty one.

      One gal who was doing intake on my Offer-In-Compromise situation back then was particularly memorable. She asked me to describe what happened to get me behind on taxes. I started telling the story, fell apart when it got to outing myself over the medical bills and extra expenses of supporting my girlfriend when she had serious health issues (and no health insurance), got all sniffly and VERY embarrased. And this agent said to me, “it’s ok, just breathe, take some breaths and do you have some kleenex? do you want to get some water? just take a moment – it’s ok, I’m used to this, people get upset all the time, and I understand.”

      Wow. Made the whole experience much easier to deal with than if she’d been cold and uncaring. And I did pay my taxes, and I never had to hire one of those scammy firms advertising on late-night TV to resolve my IRS issues either.

    • Bitter Scribe

      A couple of times I fucked up my taxes and claimed a lower refund than what I had coming. The IRS corrected my mistake and gave me my money.

      In 2017, for the first time in my life, most of the money I made was not subject to withholding, meaning I’ll probably have to pony up a few thousand come April. I’m going to try to remember how nice and fair the IRS was, and pay up without grumbling.

      • SeeTrainWrecked

        The only time I’ve had a problem with them was when they said I needed to pay over $1,000 (that I didn’t have) because I underestimated my tax burden … because my new employers did not think of me as an employee but rather as an independent contractor.

        That’s when I found out the IRS wasn’t the enemy, my employers were.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    The tax bill explains why the Republicans are so down on the government. They’re really, really bad at governing.

  • Alex Grey
  • fawkedifiknow

    No confusion! No confusion! You’re the confusion!

  • Bitter Scribe

    Breaking the balls of poor people over taxes is actually a rich Republican tradition that far predates Trump. How do you think that whole thing about paying restaurant servers ridiculous wages because they get tips got started? It was under Reagan, because by God, those fat cat coffeehouse waitresses were not going to get away with skimming one more dime!

  • i don’t hate the IRS.

    • mohave rocky

      I’m with O.W. Holmes, Jr.. The price for civilization.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I’ve been in the tax business a very long time. All my experiences with the IRS personnel have been professional and courteous. The agents are uniformly knowledgeable helpful and …. underpaid. Cutting their funding and bitching about them is just another way for the GOP to undermine actual governing, which they cannot do and have no interest in.

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