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BEST BRAIN BEST WORDS

Know that thing when Donald Trump sits with a journalist and unleashes so many thousands of (ALLEGEDLY) dementia words that you can’t even cover it in one Wonkette blog post? This is that thing. As we told you this morning, Trump sat down with the Wall Street Journal, presumably to continue his campaign of proving to the world that his brain isn’t disintegrating into a pile of orange foundation and shame. The news kind of got buried because the president, who is not only dumb and insane, but also a white supremacist, started caterwauling about (not white) immigrants who come to America from “shithole” nations, as opposed to the “good” kind, the white kind, that leaves … Norway? … for a … better? … life. Sure Donald, Norwegians are just jizzing in their showshoes to come to America now that you are president. MMHMM YOU BET.

Anyway, here is another fucking crazy post about the WSJ interview. You’d think Trump had been left alone with the reporters without adult supervision, but WSJ says Hope Hicks, Sarah Huckabee “Poot Lips” Sanders and Gary Cohn were in the room. So to be clear, this is Trump WITH BABYSITTERS.

Whereas yr Wonkette Five Dollar Feminist gave you bunches of crazy-ass Trump quotes on many subjects, we will tell you the things Trump said about the Russia investigation. He might as well have looked at the reporter and said, “THE RUSSIAN COLLUSION IS NOT IN THE TRUNK. EVERYBODY AGREES IT’S NOT IN THE TRUNK. EVEN DEMOCRATS, THEY SAY THIS AND THAT BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION, BUT THEY COME OUT OF THE COMMITTEES AND SAY THERE’S NO RUSSIAN COLLUSION IN THE TRUNK. SO WHY WOULD ROBERT MUELLER LOOK IN THE TRUNK WHEN EVERYBODY AGREES THERE’S NOTHING IN THE TRUNK?”

Oh, you think we’re kidding?

We are, in fact, not kidding! Get a load of Trump’s newest explanation for why his son, Dipfuck Junior, met with all those Russians in Trump Tower:

My son had a brief meeting based on the fact that he thought whatever he thought.

Well that does sound like Don Jr.!

Remember, Donald, you have a meeting to get to after this.

I DO???????

White House official: Excuse me, I just—we have about two or three minutes left and you’ve got to go to a meeting.

Mr. Trump: Oh I do?

White House official: Yes, you have an 11:15. So, I can push it about five minutes, but that’s all we’ve got. So you’re running out of time.

Anyway, BACK TO RUSSIA.

Adam Schiff is a giant crimer, because here is why:

… [L]ook, all I see of these Democrats, like Adam Schiff —- it’s all he does, he’ll have a meeting, and then he’ll leave, and he’ll call up the meeting, and then I’ll have a meeting and then he’ll leave. He left meetings where people are being interviewed, and then all of a sudden they say a story about what’s going on inside the meetings.

It’s probably illegal, what he’s doing.

That DOES sound like a crime!

But the Democrats know it’s a hoax. It’s an excuse for them having lost the election. They know it’s a hoax.

Weird, he said that same thing with the Norwegian prime minister, and also one million other times. It’s like he’s memorized a few phrases about Russia, phrases that are easy to remember, phrases that give him comfort in this big bright scary world where you don’t recognize people you’ve known for years, ALLEGEDLY.

… [T]hey realize there’s no collusion whatsoever. There’s no collusion.

We’ve heard.

Hey Donald, was there collusion?

I also think that primary collusion, because there was no collusion on our side, the collusion was on the Democrat side with the Russians.

Oh.

And what went on with the FBI, where a man is tweeting to his lover that if she loses, we’ll essentially go back to the—we’ll go to the insurance policy, which is—if they lose, we’ll go to phase 2, and we’ll get this guy out of office.

I mean, this is the FBI we’re talking about. I think that is—that is treason. See, that’s treason right there. … By the way, that’s a treasonous act. What he tweeted to his lover is a treasonous act.

Yes, the Constitutional definition of treason does include a paragraph about sexting.

(We’ve already covered the sexting “treason” thing Emperor Pussgrab is dementia-splaining, in detail. Suffice it to say he’s full of shit, but please note that Donald Trump has just accused a career FBI official of treason.)

So, will Trump interview with Robert Mueller, like he has said he would, except for the other day he said probably not because NO COLLUSION NO INTERVIEW?

Look, there has never been in the history of this country an administration that, number one, did nothing wrong …

Oh god, stop talking.

There has never been a more— they said, “You never did anything wrong.” To be honest, they probably were surprised, OK? As most lawyers would be. They said, “You never did anything wrong.”

We bet his dumb lawyers said it just like that.

Where’s the Russia, Donald? Is it in your phone calls? Is it in your Twitter?

I never got a phone call from Russia. I didn’t have a tweet. I didn’t have a — I had nothing. I didn’t have an email. I didn’t have a meeting. I didn’t have — did I have one meeting with — about Russia? And…

OK, so no collusion, no collusion, you are the collusion. But what about obstruction of justice, Donald?

So, they make up a crime, and the crime doesn’t exist. And then they say obstruction. And how could there be obstruction on firing Comey? When the man who’s in charge of it wrote a letter that was far stronger than anything I would have written. He was in charge— Deputy Rosenstein. He wrote a letter that’s far stronger than even what I say.

Right. Rosenstein took the original letter Trump and Stephen Miller wrote on construction paper with magic markers and glitter, the one that said “FIRIN’ THE FUCKER BECAUSE OF RUSSIA,” and then he made up a whole new bullshit letter full of bullshit excuses about how Comey was UNFAIR TO HILLARY. (Which: true.) We still don’t know why he did that.

And here’s another thing.

Oh God bless, another thing? Yes, and it may be the single strangest word association mouth ejaculation in the entire interview:

Comey. Comey has proven to be a liar and a leaker. Proven. He tries to act like a choir boy. What he did with Hillary Clinton is outrageous. He saved her life, because all of those charges—I call it “Comey one, two, and three,” all of those charges and Comey won, she was guilty of. She should have been taken out of the campaign and been on trial.

He didn’t do that. He saved her life. But here’s the way you look at Comey. Everybody hated Comey, and Comey—by the way, the FBI, say what you want, go back to look at the day around Hillary—the FBI was in turmoil. Everybody hated Comey. The Democrats wanted him fired. Everybody wanted him out. You look at what Schumer said about him, you look at what everybody said. As soon as I fired him they said, “oh, he’s wonderful—he’s wonderful, how could you do that.”

So there’s no—you have a no — crime that was created, you have a phony crime and then they talk about obstruction. And how can they talk about obstruction when I was the most open person, in history, in terms of — there’s never been a paper we didn’t give them, there’s never been a question we didn’t answer.

Now, I could of [sic] done it differently. I’ve been, you know, pretty successful in the courts over the years, I’ve been a very successful person, you can check—USA Today said, “he does great in the courts,” OK?

We … I … Comey saved Hillary’s life? … “Comey one, two, and three”? … most open person IN HISTORY? … he does great in the courts … WHAT?

Trump finished that series of thoughts by literally repeating all of them. ALL OF THEM.

Remember, Donald, you have a meeting to get to after this.

I DO???????

WSJ: How about a welfare and a tax question real quick before we wrap it up?

Mr. Trump: Yeah, go ahead.

Unknown: Yeah, let’s finish on that and then you really do have to go, you’ve got a Roosevelt Room full of people waiting for you. So go ahead.

Mr. Trump: I do?

Unknown: Yes, you do.

Dead. We are dead now. Wonkette is now dead because Donald Trump killed us with his best words and his very good brain.

RIP WONKETTE.

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[Wall Street Journal]

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  • Beanz&Berryz

    It’s good to have my vocabulary embiggened with new werdz like dipfuck

  • ManchuCandidate

    This is Ralph Wiggum at 71 years old.
    “I bent my Wookie!”

    Frontier jibberish is more coherent than Preznit Mush Brain.

  • PubOption
    • Villago Delenda Est

      THIS is an interesting development.

  • Oblios_Cap

    EVERYBODY AGREES IT’S NOT IN THE TRUNK.

    The elephant’s trunk? I knew the GOP was up to its eyeball in the collusion!

  • FlemmishSpy

    A lot of people are saying this Trump guy is in over his head, believe me.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I am the great Shitholio! I need DT for my bunghole.

  • AJ Milne

    ‘So to be clear, this is Trump WITH BABYSITTERS…’

    The essential problem, I suspect, is normalisation. And the more you’re exposed to him, the more numb you become. His handlers get the most exposure. So this apparently barely makes them blink anymore.

    The problem: it doth/it can proceed outward. To the rest of his nation, and to the rest of the world: _DON’T_ _LET_ _THIS_ _CONTINUE_. This is not normal. Don’t let it _become_ normal.

    Y’ask me, it’s already gone way too far. Man pretty much admitted to obstruction, verbatim, and people are still all ‘hey, did he do obstruction? We is confused.’

    Shut up. Stop that. And bust his obstructing ass, already.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Lèse-majesté was last prosecuted in the United Kingdom in 1715.

    Donnie wants it to come back.

  • Oblios_Cap

    White House official: Excuse me, I just—we have about two or three minutes left and you’ve got to go to a meeting.

    Mr. Trump: Oh I do?

    “Unpossible”, he continued, “it’s supposed to be my executive time.”

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      And then he came back what, five minutes later, and Donnie was again surprised he had a meeting?
      Yeah, the cheese hasn’t slid off the cracker. Sure.

    • dslindc

      “I need to sit on the toilet and rage tweet!”

  • Gigglesnort

    Donny apparently forgot about telling the Russian Ambassador that firing Comey had taken “great pressure” off of him.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He will of course claim he never said it.

  • chazmanr

    “Suffice it to say he’s full of shit, but please note that Donald Trump has just accused a career FBI official of treason.”

    Well, like the shitgibbon says, we need to look at those libel and slander laws. President Obama certainly has a cause of action against him for his multiple, public claims that President Obama committed numerous felonies in the form of illegal wire tapps.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald, again, doesn’t understand that most everyday criminal law is promulgated at the state level, not the federal level, so he doesn’t have any authority, nor does Congress, in libel and slander laws.

    • Nockular cavity

      I would welcome the new owner of Fox News, Hillary Clinton.

  • Scooby

    Mueller is going to make mincemeat out of him.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Mostly just re-mincing the mincemeat of his brain…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Mince-mincemeat. Finely granulated.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Scrapple?

        • Notreelyhelping

          Scrapple from the Apple.

  • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

    Test-driving this icon as a design for my Women’s March sign. What think yinzes?

    • calliecallie

      I think you’re from Pittsburgh.

      • therblig

        donton?

        • calliecallie

          Near the incline.

          • therblig

            ms blig and i first met when we were living at College Ave in Shadyside. Then we moved to Bryant St near the zoo (where we would sneak in as poor college students – there was a hole in the fence). On quiet nights, we could hear peacocks and the big cats.

          • calliecallie

            I lived there for less than a year after college, but while I was there the Pirates won the series, the Penguins won the Stanley cup, and the Steelers won the Superbowl. Kind of mind-blowing.

          • therblig

            we were there from 78-82, met in 79. got to see a bucs game from field box seats on the 3rd baseline once and when stargell connected with the ball, it was amazing.

            pitt? cmu? duquesne?

          • calliecallie

            So that was then! Hindsight 20-20, Pittsburgh is a lovely place. I’m not sure of your pitt/cmu/duquesne references. I was an assistant manager at the Red Lobster in Mt. Lebenon.

          • therblig

            you said you lived there for a year after college, so i thought you went to college there. yes, pittsburgh is a wonderful city – ms. blig and i often talk about returning there (or near there) after retirement. she’s from oil city and would like to go back, but PA is hard hit by meth and opioids, especially the beautiful rural parts like the NW.

      • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

        A whole lot different than where l’m from.
        Where is that?
        Altoona, Pennsylvania.
        Altoona!
        I was thinking more along the lines of Jupiter.
        Actually, they’re very close.
        lt’s just the next lifeless planet over.

        Flashdance (1983)

    • Oblios_Cap

      I like it.

    • Proud Liberal

      I like that!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “You have a meeting.” [wink, wink]

    • Opalescent Riddles

      A meeting with donepezil and memantine.

      • Notreelyhelping

        “How many nootropics did he get this morning?”
        “All of them.”

  • Nounverb911
    • FlemmishSpy

      Maybe he has racist Tourette’s.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And a double order of ass burgers.

    • WotsAllThisThen
      • FlemmishSpy

        You can rent his RX pad, BTW.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Make it so!”

  • kareemachan

    Okay, when I’m wrong, I admit it. I thought drumpster had some catching up to do to get to $arah’s level of wordsaladitis.

    I. Was. Wrong. He’s gone WAY beyond her, dimensions beyond her.

    • Nounverb911

      SO, this is good news for Sarah Palin?

      • kareemachan

        Nope, she’ll probably get all bitchy about him overtaking her in her one area of expertise.

        • Oblios_Cap

          She’ll probably go back to the White House with her hillbilly clan (sans Todd, of course) and they’ll start a fight in the dining room.

    • cmd resistor

      She didn’t have so much of the “I am the greatest” shit mixed in, just salad, as I recall.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It’s probably illegal, what he’s doing.

    To be fair, when you’re a lifelong crook, everything seems like a crime to you.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Yes, he’s demented. He’s also a racist. He’s also an authoritarian, without the ideology of fascism, but indistinguishable from Hitler or Mussolini for all practical purposes. With the racism angle, he’s closer to Hitler.

  • Proud Liberal

    Is this country ever going to be the same again? How are we going to redeem ourselves after this shithole presidency?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Save us Ted Cruz… you are our only… nevermind… we’re fucked.

    • TJ Barke

      Reeducation camps for republicans?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Mandatory sterilization?

        • TJ Barke

          Hey now, I’m not a monster…

    • CW

      By dumping the Red State participation trophy that is the Electoral College.

    • LiberalANDProud

      At least two generations. Not two Presidential terms. Two generations.

      I won’t be around to see it. Good luck, everybody.

    • AJ Milne

      Re the former question: I suspect, in all probability: it’s not.

      The latter question, I can’t answer.

      But if it makes you feel any better: I think a lot of people are learning–painfully–from this.

      If you’re among them, you may, in the end, be ahead, a few ways, at least. A bit the way catching the flu means that strain, at least, isn’t going to be a problem for a while.

      This being, I acknowledge, accentuating the positive.

  • Tetman Callis

    The vector is meltdown. Hope he arrives there soonest.

  • Crystalclear12

    I can feel the other countries pointing and laughing, can’t you?

    • Proud Liberal

      I think they look at us in horror. I know that’s how I see us at the moment.

    • Nounverb911

      DAMN IT, now I need to get some Canadian sweatshirts before I go to Japan in April….

      • Japan in April sounds lovely.

        • Nounverb911

          Hopefully cherry blossoms….

          • That’s a dream trip for me…. I find Japanese culture to be absolutely sublime. In lieu of being able to take the time or afford to go I enjoy watching the Japanology programs on the youtubes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s ceased being a joke, and is now a matter of national security for every country in the world.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    “He did it because he thought whatever he thought…”

    Zen koan? The last burblings of a dying brain?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘I think, therefore I think.’ René Descartes rejected first draft.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        The First Rule of Tautology Club is the First Rule of Tautology Club.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        “I am that I am.” Popeye.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “But the Democrats know it’s a hoax. It’s an excuse for them having lost the election. They know it’s a hoax.”

    Oh FFS.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_U55RTlK8o

  • Crystalclear12

    Anyone that has worked in a nursing home recognizes this.

  • Indiepalin

    Hugh Grant: “In London, we call it the ‘boot’.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    [L]ook, all I see of these Democrats, like Adam Schiff —- it’s all he does, he’ll have a meeting, and then he’ll leave, and he’ll call up the meeting, and then I’ll have a meeting and then he’ll leave. He left meetings where people are being interviewed, and then all of a sudden they say a story about what’s going on inside the meetings.

    It’s probably illegal, what he’s doing.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d9a8ed5f0c0672c129b28a7241e30ddf0ab740f8a1a2125e2504e4572177a62.jpg

  • Ryan Denniston

    “I also think that primary collusion,
    because there was no collusion on our side, the collusion was on the
    Democrat side with the Russians”

    Projection. Textbook. By the way, that means he colluded!

  • Oblios_Cap

    I haven’t heard anything remotely approaching criticism Donnie’s remarks from Ryan or McConnell yet. Have you?

    • Victoria Ricola

      Haha no.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      You might not want to hold your breath, is what I’m saying.

    • goCatgo

      They are anxiously waiting for the doc to tell them there is nothing wrong with Trump’s bill signing hand. That is the only part of this prez that they care about.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hahahahahahahahahaha!

  • TJ Barke

    Yes, Dems totally colluded with the russians so republicans could get elected.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It makes perfect sense. After a term with Donnie Two Scoops, the Country will never vote for another Republican in our lifetimes.

      • Crystalclear12

        Well. . . the survivors won’t anyway.

      • janecita

        Poor innocent, optimistic you:-( Americans have short memories.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’ve said that after a few of them now, and I keep getting disappointed.

  • memzilla Ω

    How about we stop having a SHITHOLE PRESIDENT*???

    • janecita

      I need to start buying that shit in bulk.

    • PlutoAnimus

      Are those pills or mini marshmallows?

      Either way, I’ll take a case.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    “I mean, this is the FBI we’re talking about. I think that is—that is treason. See, that’s treason right there. … By the way, that’s a treasonous act. What he tweeted to his lover is a treasonous act.”

    Washington Man Has No Idea what “Treason” Is.

    • Moldy Weißwurst

      It speaks volumes about his megalomania: the FBI agent in question is a Federal employee, therefore his employee, because he was chosen by the Electoral College as God Emperor. And as God Emperor of Amerikkka, is even questioning his divinity not an act of treason? He also believes that all of his “employees,” and every citizen under his reign owe him fealty for all time. Thus even the suggestion of investigating him would be construed as “treason.”

  • tihond

    Trump: I don’t have dementia, but if I did, it would be the best dementia.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “I never got a phone call from Russia. I
    didn’t have a tweet. I didn’t have a — I had nothing. I didn’t have an
    email. I didn’t have a meeting. I didn’t have — did I have one meeting
    with — about Russia? And”

    In Trump America, America gaslight you!

  • Victoria Ricola

    Every generic default Dem 2018! Let’s end this long national nightmare already.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Shit, that whole thing where Hilllary went to Benghazi and then didn’t have money for bus fare out and she was gonna die there, but then Comey sent her the money for bus fare and then he totally saved her, even though she was crooked because she was selling emails to uranium, that was all supposed to be classified, man.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Worst pitch for a movie, ever.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        I dunno, I have a feeling Michael Bay will be into it. Maybe if we change the bus to something that explodes, though. I need to work on it.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Well, if there’s going to be explosions, that changes everything.

        • weighmaster

          Where does Nick Cage come in?

          • Bright Bart

            through the back door…heh.

  • LiberalANDProud

    If there is justice in the world, hopefully Trump will ultimately wind up in a very well maintained, high class nursing home with a tube permanently up his ass, spending his awake time knitting something that isn’t there.

  • Oblios_Cap

    If Hilary had won, we would have been subjected to GOP witch hunts every time she opened her mouth. Yet this is way worse.

    • Proud Liberal

      They would make our lives insufferable had she won. They are now as well. Republicans hate the American people and the American way of life.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They of course are not aware, but what they want is a return to pre-Renaissance government.

        AKA feudalism.

        • Proud Liberal

          Exactly. They’ve never gotten over the first Civil War.

        • goCatgo

          They really do. It explains so much.

      • C4TWOMAN

        OTOH any evidence of collusion or treason Hillary would have pursued criminal charges like a bull dog. So maybe she’d have cleaned them out.
        We’ll never know…

      • cmd resistor

        Actually I had this delusion that once she got in there she’d whip those assholes into shape. At least she would not have been as “nice” as Obama. Could be I was wrong. We will never know.

    • Chyron HR

      We’re still getting the GOP witch hunts, though.

  • Master Contrail Program

    “Would I turn the gas on if my best pal Rocky was hidin’ in the stove?”

    • goCatgo

      Makes TR look like a SJW.
      Makes Hoover look like a housing developer.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: In other news, your childhood suspicions were correct. Dentists ARE just pulling your teeth to be sadists (and for money):

    Kool Smiles dental clinics will pay $23.9 million in a Department of Justice settlement over allegations of unnecessary dental work on children.

    The 17-state dental clinic chain was accused of submitting false Medicaid claims for baby root canals, steel crowns on baby teeth and other unnecessary procedures.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, did they actually perform the procedures, or just say they did and bill Medicaid for them? Because this is a fairly common form of Medicaid fraud.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        both I think? (Law enforcement ain’t the best writers):

        “The United States alleged that between January 2009 and December 2011, Benevis and Kool Smiles clinics located throughout 17 states knowingly submitted false claims to state Medicaid programs for medically unnecessary pulpotomies (baby root canals), tooth extractions, and stainless steel crowns, in addition to seeking payment for pulpotomies that were never performed. The United States alleges that Kool Smiles clinics routinely pressured and incentivized dentists to meet production goals through a system that disciplined “unproductive” dentists and awarded “productive” dentists with substantial cash bonuses based on the revenue generated by the procedures they performed. According to the government’s allegations, Kool Smiles clinics ignored complaints from their own dentists regarding overutilization. In addition, the United States further alleged that Kool Smiles clinics located in Texas knowingly submitted false claims to the Texas Medicaid Program for First Dental Home (FDH), a program intended to provide a comprehensive package of dental services aimed at improving the oral health of children under three years of age. These clinics are alleged to have submitted false claims for FDH services that were not fully provided. “

        • Villago Delenda Est

          This is the problem with “cash incentives” for medical work. You see this sort of thing cropping up at the VA all the time, as hospital administrators put metrics above care as their concern, encouraged by the head office.

          • Oblios_Cap

            That shit is truly horrible. Those poor kids.
            Why would baby teeth need root canals? Couldn’t you just pull them?

          • C4TWOMAN

            Depends how many teeth we’re talking about. One does need enough to chew properly.

            I agree with you, I’m just seeing situations where taking the teeth out wouldn’t make sense. However I doubt that was what was going on.
            What gets gets me is the CAPS on baby teeth. Rootcanal if the must, but just fill those things. There’ going to fall out in a couple years anyway.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      There is never the possibility of government money without an equal and opposite possibility of government scamming. But the real problem always seems to be poor people who are cheated out of money/services. They’re the real scammers!

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Kinda feels like that time they found I had a dead tooth but decided to try a root canal anyway instead of just going straight to extraction.

  • Oblios_Cap

    As I posted on another site, I’m surprised tRump doesn’t just demand that we take the red and blue stuff off our flag and just have one that’s all white.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just finished reading this post. I don’t even know what to say at this point FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38e537756c872dbcbf544b47b90a3f3d11e88cfa08d9e4271c0c70665027e4c2.jpg

  • Ryan Denniston

    Remember folks, this is an innocent man were talking about here. Obviously!

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    “—you have a no —”

    and YOU have a no! You ALL have a no!

    President Oprah, everybody!

  • rocktonsam

    Where is Mitch, Lindsey and Paul? They should be defending their leader.

    • proudgrampa

      Apparently, Graham did confront Trump in the meeting. So at least there’s that.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Bless his heart.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Graham is in Arizona this afternoon

        • Notreelyhelping

          McCain needed a sponge bath.

          • Bobathonic

            HAHAHAeww.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I’m so impressed.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Graham can fuck off and die. He’s made his choice, and it was a poor one.

        • proudgrampa

          Yeah. He did end up in that bed, didn’t he?

      • Bobathonic

        What, did he accuse Trump of hiding his clutching pearls?

    • Nounverb911

      Ryan is home looking for ways to spend the money he takes away from Social Security….

      https://twitter.com/SpeakerRyan/status/951826997067616258

      • Proud Liberal

        I swear to God if Randy Bryce doesn’t beat that fucker in November, I will be shocked.

      • Christopher Story

        I hate it when NeoCons measure from the taint. The reason our military is smaller is because we’re not fighting a Good damned world war. We don’t need a supermassive military to be on alert readiness every minute of every day, you disengenious clown murderer in a business formal blazer.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          But we need to be prepared for when we suddenly taunt someone into WWIII!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And Poland is getting ready to attack our eastern border! We must prepare!

      • cmd resistor

        The Speaker’s Brain is the Smallest it has Ever Been.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Earmarks for Jesus, right?

      • jowgajen

        This message brought to you by Lockheed Martin.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        One word, ZEGS:

        “Sequester”

    • Nounverb911

      McCain’s home autographing street signs….
      https://twitter.com/SenJohnMcCain/status/951858949006995457

      • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

        Doesn’t Tempe have a graffiti ordinance?

        • puredog

          IOKIYAR. (Hint: Few taggers are.)

        • Opalescent Riddles

          They probably don’t like people taking signs off the poles, also too.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They be cowering under their desks.

  • gallbladder

    I say let him sit with every fucking reputable journalist out there. Personally, I’d like to see him go on HARDTalk and get vivisected by Stephen Sackur.

    • msanthropesmr

      He’d physically attack Stephen Sackur.

      • gallbladder

        I dunno…he’d most likely just get up and leave the interview to suckle at Hannity’s teat.

        • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

          ewwww visual ewwww

      • WomanInThePersistence

        At least Stephen would be safe. It’s hard to be injured with tiny, tiny hands.

    • Proud Liberal

      Bannon picked Pence for a reason.

      • Sophia

        Manafort picked Pence.

        • Proud Liberal

          Well, there’s a reason why.

          • Sophia

            Oh yea but I just always like to point out that particular connection.

  • Ryan Denniston
  • ariel_gee_398

    Poor Russia thought they’d found the perfect sleeper agent, but it turns out Donnie’s a bit more of a narcoleptic than they bargained for.

    • TJ Barke

      As long he’s embarrassing us on the world stage, and damaging us with his shit policies, he’s doing at least one half of his mission.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Putin didn’t know what he was getting. Donald was an easy flip, but now the sociopath has dementia.

    • Amazing Professional Lunatic

      That ain’t narcolepsy. He’s just a batshit crazy conman.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    “The president’s crazy, did you hear what he said?”

    https://youtu.be/Qa98AhEVAZQ

  • Crank Tango

    This is exactly how Nobama responded to all the birther bullshit.

  • Christopher Story

    That face you make when you’re being a serious investigator and can’t laugh out loud at your suspect https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7b74deb6fed01e4d0b1385b5a9c0d2794f1265cfe838e50d60cb4615b7fef85e.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Harvey Korman wished he could keep as straight a face as Bobby Three Sticks.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      That’s an important face for every parent, also too.

  • OutOfOrbit

    were the words above from a recording or are those the word the WSJ was willing to pass and if so, might we speculate on all the words that were really said? remember: the WSJ is friendly to the shithole in the WH

    • Oblios_Cap

      I wish that all of Donnie’s meeting would be recorded. Then we would see that all this is just fake news!

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Idea: No more editing televised interviews. Split screen, one side interviewer, one side subject. No cuts, no commercials.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    “There was a meeting, and I was there, but the Russians weren’t there. But dishonest Adam Schiff was there. It was on my calendar, and we scheduled it. But then he left the meeting. There was no collusion. And there were some Russians, that was at a different meeting, and a meeting was held. And I wasn’t at that one, but Jr thought something. The crooked Dems colluded. My calendar is full, very full. But then dishonest Adam Schiff was at different meeting, and he left early. He said some things about a meeting. That’s probably illegal.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Good try, but not as authentic gibberish.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Yeah, the “tell” was complete sentences.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I’ll accept it

    • Me The People

      What the fuck even was that? Yep, that DOES sound like Trump.

    • puredog

      LOCK HIM UP!

  • Nockular cavity

    I was the most open person, in history, in terms of — there’s never been a paper we didn’t give them

    TAX RETURNS, MOTHERFUCKER. LET’S SEE ‘EM.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      We are not “them”.

      • marxalot

        Who is?

        • Opalescent Riddles

          “They” are the same as “many people are saying”, that I can tell you.

          • Bobathonic

            “Believe me.”

          • Villago Delenda Est

            And there it is, the classic Donald tell of an outright lie.

          • puredog

            I think my favorite quote from this interview (though it’s a tough call) was regarding his college career: “Just—and so—so I was successful, successful, successful. I was always the best athlete, people don’t know that.”

        • OutOfOrbit

          donut look at me like that

        • Phoenixdoglover

          The best people. Top people.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “never got a tweet [from the Russians]”

    Does Trump think covert tweets are a thing? Does he think his tweets are a private journal or something?

    • Proud Liberal

      He’s stupid enough not to realize his tweets can be used against him in a court of law.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Question:

    “White House official: Excuse me, I just—we have about two or three minutes left and you’ve got to go to a meeting.

    Mr. Trump: Oh I do?

    White House official: Yes, you have an 11:15. So, I can push it about five minutes, but that’s all we’ve got. So you’re running out of time.”

    What was the line of questioning directly before this? This could be a method to get out of whatever that is, you see it sometimes – the flak saving the principal by playing hte bad guy. Might explain why Trump didn’t know (although money is on the dementia).

    • Bobathonic

      I used to work with a goober who pulled that shit all. the. time. Fifteen minutes into a meeting, his secretary would interrupt with his oh-so-important other thing to do, and he’d leave. Every damned time.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        For an alternative take on this phenomenon, I was called into the Division staff meeting room (along with a whole bunch of Captains, Majors, and Lieutenant Colonels) for a briefing for the CG. As it happened, the CG was unable to make the scheduled meeting, some important phone call from the Pentagon.

        Finally, about 15 minutes after the scheduled time, the CG arrived, and profusely apologized to the room for wasting a lot of time and taxpayer dollars by being late but said it just could not be helped. Of course, everyone understood this, but the apology was appreciated nevertheless.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Was in a meeting last week with my boss and her boss. As the meeting was wrapping up, it was clear a phone call needed to be made or email sent to someone in another building. I expected to be told to return to my office and make the connection and then report back, or that a higher up would pass the job to an assistant. “Let’s just do this now,” says boss’ boss, who grabs the phone and personally dials it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If he actually did the work of a real president, I could see not knowing; that’s why busy people have handlers to keep things moving along. But in Don’s case, he doesn’t do enough to have that excuse.

    • puredog

      The interviewer was getting into DJTJr.’s Trump Tower meeting. It went on in that vein for some while after that, though; this might just have been a cue to DJT that he was getting onto thin ice (as if he responds to cues that don’t measure 2″ x 4″).

  • marxalot

    In that whole thing, the only [sic] is after “would of”?

    • gnomemansanisland

      Sic semper tyrannis is the title of the article.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Now, I could of [sic] done it differently.

      If you’re transcribing from speech, ordinarily you’d write that as “could’ve”, and the WSJ writers and editors would know that (the [sic] was added by Wonkette). However, I find it plausible that Donad actually pronounces it “could of” instead of “could’ve” or “could have”, so they quoted him verbatim.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    OMG COMEY WAS GAY FOR HILLARY!111!11!1! THAT’S WHY SHE COLLUSIONED WITH THE URANIUMS TO KILL BERNIE AND SEND ALL THE JOBS TO MEXICO WHILE LETTING ALL THE TERRORISTS IN HERE!!!!!

    Or not, because that idiotic theory makes more sense than anything up there.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      And she killed a dog, or maybe it was a cat.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      You left out the child sex ring at the pizza parlor in Benghazi.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Mr. President, this is the craziest shit I’ve ever heard, and I’ve read my paper’s opinion pages.”
    — A Wall Street Journal reporter

  • Bobathonic

    So maybe he should open up the libel laws so Strzok can sue his porcine ass.

    Yeah, I know: swine libelz.

    • marxalot

      You know, I think he has a defamation case.

      • Bobathonic

        And unlike Stumpfingers, he was not a public figure.

        • marxalot

          That’s why I think he’s got something actionable there.

  • Me The People

    For a while, it looked like David Brooks was making progress with his ‘condition’, but alas…

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/01/david-brooks-trump-runs-a-normal-good-meeting.html

    “Four days ago, David Brooks broke the news in the New York Times that President Trump is actually a sober-minded and competent public servant. “People who go into the White House to have a meeting with President Trump usually leave pleasantly surprised,” he reported. “They find that Trump is not the raving madman they expected from his tweetstorms or the media coverage. They generally say that he is affable, if repetitive. He runs a normal, good meeting and seems well-informed enough to get by.”

    It is safe to say that this column has not aged well in the short time since its publication.”

    • cmd resistor

      There’s an aspirational goal: ” seems well-informed enough to get by.”
      It would make a great hat or bumper sticker.

      • Jon Sussex

        Make America passable again.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Make America barely adequate again…

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s hardly high praise.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Seems to be well-informed enough to get by. That’s what they say about all the greatest leaders.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      So, just another David Brooks column then?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      It’s really not cool to slurp that much while fellating.

      • Peter Witting

        Ummm, it’s not?!?

        / revisits my technique /

    • Paperless Tiger

      “… not the raving madman they expected …”

      Great Expections!

      • AJ Milne

        Well, strictly speaking, he was a slightly _different_ raving madman… So there’s that.

        (And me I just love surprises.)

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      “Well-informed enough to get by”.

      “That ranks right up there with ‘superbly adequate’ and ‘remarkably acceptable’ in the backhanded compliment hall of fame.”

      • Me The People

        And demonstrably untrue in any case.

      • SigDeFlyinMonky

        Works well under direct supervision and when cornered like a rat.

    • Bobathonic

      Shorter Brooks: “I was baffled by his bullshit.”

    • Phoenixdoglover

      I do not have the impression that David Brooks ever goes out in the world and actually experiences things for himself. Everything is couched as if he has assembled a worldview from hearsay, and that his group of informants are doing the same thing themselves. Insular! That’s the word I’m looking for. Or maybe just, “out to lunch.”

      • Opalescent Riddles

        But be careful about where you take David Brooks out for lunch. He’s had problems with that topic, too.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      So appearing to be “not a raving madman” is an accomplishment????

      Bobo, shut the fuck up…

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      WTF, Dave? I thought he was a goddamned genius. That’s what came out of his own mouth just last weekend, FFS. 3 days later you replace that with “well-informed enough to get by.” And that’s using the same Republicant standard which resulted in a dolt like Ronald Reagan having goddamned airports, buildings and roads named after him. You people thought a motherfucking “C” student like Bush II was smart. The fuck, Dave?

      • olandp

        In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

    • SydneyP

      Did America’s most boring and derivative columnist, David Brooks, ever have an original idea or a coherent thought?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    please note that Donald Trump has just accused a career FBI official of treason.

    And there it is – criticism of dear leader = treason. They really really do have a despot mindset.

    • Christopher Story

      Mueller sees him. Mueller sees everything. While Donnie frantically tweets after 10pm, Mueller just sits and waits.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      We have all kinds of new now- a President regularly slandering private citizens and accusing them of serious crimes. This is just nuts. But nobody even seems to even notice any more.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Rachel kind of addressed that last night. To remain sane, most people kind of HAVE to limit the batshit that comes down the pike each and every benighted day of this Regime. She described it as, “Bead up, roll off’ like water off a duck’s back. Especially journalists! There are simply too many rabbits to chase. You have to pick and choose the most egregious ones and let the others go, which risks ‘normalizing’ a lot of horrifying-but-less-horrifying-than-the-next-thing behavior.

        ETA: Cuz spell-check is your friend.

  • Jenny

    It is treason to investigate a crime against America! Wait. No. I mean, it is treason to investigate a crime committed by a man who thinks he is the king of America!

  • Notreelyhelping

    Well, the insanity defense is looking solid.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump’s handlers were just there to make sure he said “collusion” and not “illusion”, “delusion”, “collegian”, “Caucasian”, or “collagen”

    • Oblios_Cap

      It worked. He forgot to allege that Comey was a thespian.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m going to have “no collagen, no collagen, you’re the collagen!” going through my head all damn day.

  • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

    Maybe he was thinking of Anders Brevik. Anders Brevik would probably like it here.

  • puredog

    “. . .we have about two or three minutes left and you’ve got to go to a meeting” is the new “new phone, who dis?”

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    I’m spamming again, but I’ll be leaving soon, so in other other news

    Cordrey’s deputy at CFPB lost her bid to get a restraining order against the guy Donnie chose, I have a link to the opinion somewhere.
    https://texasattorneygeneral.gov/news/releases/ag-paxton-d.c.-court-rejects-challenge-to-president-trumps-authority-to-app

    Also, Tex. Ass General is against banning plastic shopping bags, like super against it! (based on what I imagine is a very flawed intrepreation of the law)

    https://texasattorneygeneral.gov/news/releases/ag-paxton-asks-scotx-to-strike-down-illegal-bag-bans-in-laredo-and-across-t

    Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton today asked the Texas Supreme Court to uphold last year’s ruling by the Texas Fourth Court of Appeals that the city of Laredo’s ban on single-use plastic bags is illegal because it violates state law regulating solid waste disposal. During arguments, his office showed why the court should apply the ruling across Texas.

    “Laredo and Austin, among others, flout the law when they unlawfully pass the burden of solid waste management to residents and retailers through illegal bag bans,” Attorney General Paxton said. “Municipalities do not get to violate Texas law just because they feel like it. This case gives the Texas Supreme Court the opportunity to uphold the law so that the ruling can be used to invalidate illegal bag bans statewide.”

    The Texas Health and Safety Code forbids municipalities from making rules to “prohibit or restrict, for solid waste management purposes, the sale or use of a container or package in a manner not authorized by state law.” In June 2017, Attorney General Paxton asked the state Supreme Court to affirm the appeals court’s ruling against unlawful bag bans.

    Last year, the city of Kermit repealed its unlawful sales tax on single-use plastic bags rather than face a lawsuit from the attorney general’s office. And Attorney General Paxton dismissed a lawsuit against the city of Brownsville after it formally repealed its illegal sales tax on plastic bags.

    • Bobathonic

      In DC, it costs a nickel to get a plastic bag. Paper are free. It’s the law.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I’ll have to see if I can find it – it may be a genuine law (to protect the rich, somehow. Plastic bags are made from oil derivatives right? And this IS oil country).

      • SisterArtemis

        In Eugene, Oregon, grocery stores don’t offer the plastic grocery bags at all, paper bags cost a nickel, and I have acquired a lovely array of non-disposable grocery bags that I actually like better than the dumb plastic ones anyway. One of them squishes up tiny so I can stash it in my purse for unexpected shopping adventures.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Somehow California has managed to avoid collapse without plastic bags.

      • Crank Tango

        Our plastic bags are better than ever, just not free.

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Oh sure, just tell that to the folks in Montecito who have lost lives and homes.

      • goCatgo

        They are 10 American Cents, but they last a long time. Really good plastic ones cost a Buck. Some of us use cloth from a non profit or charity.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I fail to see how eliminating those flimsy, shitty plastic bags could cause a ‘solid waste’ problem. Are they suggesting that those plastic bags that barely hold together long enough to get your shit home (I pity you if try to ride a bike with those) are the only possible way on earth people can dispose of their household trash? Really? Ever heard of a thing called a ‘garbage can’? Yeah, it’s amazing cuz some cities like Denver have standardized trash cans and trucks so it’s super-efficient with no need for plastic bags at all!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Regulation is best done at the most local level possible….until it isn’t.”
      — Republicans

  • Christopher Story
  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Christopher Story

      Great, now I’m hungry.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
        • C4TWOMAN

          “Tell the kids I’ll be here a while!”
          – Donnie on the lam

      • C4TWOMAN

        I just ate half my breakfast, sausage etc. Now to the porridge…

        • Christopher Story

          Are YOU a Hobbit?

          • C4TWOMAN

            No, half-elven weight lifter. Between the training and magic you use a LOT of calories.
            Also too, I don’t have time to hike around the world throwing cursed jewelry into active volcanoes.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Um not sure what he’s saying here…obviously he means’ Russia is a nothing burger, but his image has Russie in the burger? Wouldn’t he go with an image that shows it’s empty? Or is he agreeing there is something now?
      RW humor is hard…

      • cmd resistor

        Ha, I thought that was a cheesy jewelry box.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Garrison is yet another shithole.

        • C4TWOMAN

          God he’s such a hack. I have trouble believing people with real artistic talent get caught up in RWN shit, but it does happen. On of the Bundy Y’all Queda participants is a talented wood artist.
          They do tend to be gullible true believers. I don’t know of anyone with real creative talent being a knowing witting political fraud.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          Holy shit that’s Garrison? I thought it was just an obvious joke that the “nothing” burger is full of Russia, which it is. Now that I know it’s him, I (as usual) can’t even begin to fathom what he’s saying.

    • Oblios_Cap

      So there Kremlin is hiding in a nothing burger without cheese or any other condiments?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Its a plain nothing burger. Okay that is horrible. There are actually people who like it that way…

        • cmd resistor

          I did as a very young picky eater kid. Then I added pickles, then condiments.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Have you explored lettuce yet?

          • cmd resistor

            Oh, yeah, lettuce and tomato.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        If there was cheese on it, they would have to call it a Royale.

      • Bobathonic

        Where’s the Russian dressing?

    • Nockular cavity

      Doesn’t this make the opposite point from the one he’s trying to make?

      • C4TWOMAN

        That’s what I thought.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I may have edited it. Taken out all the HILLARY is a Criminal part,

        • C4TWOMAN

          Oh this is a ‘shop? If so, great. Just indicate it somehow if it’s not really really obvious. We can no longer recognize the difference between satire and reality.
          I should probably take my own advice.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      That’s the opposite of what you were intending Ben. Your nothing burger actually has something in it. Therefore it’s not a nothing burger. You should have stuck to drawing swamps and cesspools and labeling everything to death for your dimwit readers.

      • Bobathonic

        He should have titled it “Russiagate Burger” and shown a bun that’s empty.

        Like his head.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I was going to ‘Shop something better, but the last time I corrected Garrison’s swill, I wasted 2 hours of my life on photoshop:
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32e9d820b50553cd9123df9e64bd46e9f1fe6bad0903acf759a5969fe1fcbbbf.jpg

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Yeah, don’t waste time on it.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Yeah, I think I get it now.
            Of course I’d probably have found out because before I add lulz to my shops, I search for the highest quality original…

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          That’s actually better than any Garrison creation. You have a gift.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Well, thank you. I think it’s less a gift and more an obsession to jab a supporters of a Nazi apologist administration.
            The original isn’t hard to find, it’s an American eagle instead of a Nazi Eagle. That part was bitch because Garrison used a blended background, and it wasn’t a simple linear blend. But I learned things for the next time…

      • cmd resistor

        I think he means, the Kremlin is Inedible. Or something.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Too many spiky parts. Owie.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      So we finally open up the nothingburger and find the entire Kremlin inside!

      That’s his best cartoon yet!

      • LucindathePook

        ok, I thought that was St. Basil’s, a symbol of Russia/Moscow, maybe, but not the Kremlin.

    • NastyBossetti

      Proving for the millionth time that not just anyone can/should draw political cartoons by accidentally making the opposite of his own point.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Sometimes, a cartoon’s title is ironic enough on its face that you can skip the “scare quotes.”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Sorry, there’s crazy, and then there’s just stupidly incoherent. I mean, come on, this gives despotism a bad name…”
    — Caligula

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Caligula at least had a sense of irony. He enjoyed trolling his terrified and obsequious Senate.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        And he liked horses. And put on entertaining shows.

        • Oblios_Cap

          And I think he liked his sister, so he had the incest thing in common with Don.

      • marxalot

        And leaded drinking water.

  • eyelashviper

    So has the Dotard gone for his physical yet?
    Is there proof of life?
    Did the MRI machine go running from the room, shrieking, “I just can’t”..??
    Is there even a chart to measure the fat level or that corpulent puss filled sack of shit?
    Did the medical staff need a covfefe break after seeing it naked?
    When will we see the tweets about the biggest and best results, all positive reviews, and stable genius confirmation?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I gotta imagine his colonoscopies take a loooong time.

      • Me not sure

        He’s probably going to need a shithole transplant, if they can find one that won’t reject him.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Roll him in flour and go for the greasy stain?

    • Bobathonic

      Did they bring in the machine that goes “ping”?

      • eyelashviper

        The aliens are in another room, warming it up for their extra special probes.

        • Bobathonic

          Probulator libelz?

      • Me not sure

        They bill by the ping.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Upfist for MP ref (which is their most underrated film, too).

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Did they cash in his organ donor card?

    • cmd resistor

      It was supposed to be around 12:30 and the schedule had him leaving Walter Reed around 3 or 3:30, then OFF TO MAR A LAGO.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I thought that he would be too busy to golf after he got elected.

        • cmd resistor

          I am sure he’s going down there to “make calls” and “have meetings.”

          • mailman27

            And the very many documents.

      • eyelashviper

        So we should watch the radar for major gaseous fart engulfing the entire medical center?

    • therblig
      • Opiwan

        At least the Baron kept his real hair and skin color…

        BRING IN FEYD AND RABBAN!

    • Iron Monkey

      There might be worse jobs than the doctor who has to stick his finger up Trump’s shithole to check his prostate but none come to mind immediately.

    • irishdave3

      Heh, heh, The Orange A-Hole will be “examed” by a REAR Admiral…

  • Paperless Tiger

    It’s 2018. Grit your teeth and think about the elections.

    • Crystalclear12

      The only way thru is BLUE!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Better dead than RED!

  • OneYieldRegular

    I call it “Comey one, two, and three”

    Comey, Comey, Comey, Comey Comeyleon,
    Choir boy had to go, choir boy had to go,
    Collusion would’ve been easy if my threats worked like in my dreams,
    One, two and three, one two and three.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    profiles in courage:

    Paul Ryan: Shithole comments are “unfortunate, unhelpful”

    House Speaker Paul Ryan commented on Trump’s remarks moments ago, calling them “unfortunate” and “unhelpful.”

    “I read the comments later last night. The first thing that came to my mind was, very unfortunate, unhelpful,” Ryan said. He then told the story about his own family came to the United States from Ireland.

    • Victoria Ricola

      Even the wishy-washy John King CNN roundtable said that comment sucked and went on to discuss how Trump’s views aren’t all that far away from the mainstream GOP.

    • TootsStansbury

      Paul Ryan can fuck right off with those mealymouthed excuses. I’m embarrassed to hail from the same planet as these fuckers let alone the same country.

    • cmd resistor

      That’s about standard for Ryan.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Saying nothing but trying to sound like he is.

      • efoveks

        Folding like a broken lawn chair.

    • eyelashviper
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        to be fair, he does address that immediately after where I stopped the quote:
        “You know what I thought of right away? I thought about my own family. My family like a whole lot of people came from Ireland on what they called coffin ships. They came here and worked the railroads. The Irish were really looked down upon in those days,” he added.

        “I think it’s a big part of our strength whether you are coming from Haiti — we have got great friends from Africa who are incredible citizens. I think it’s important that we celebrate that,” Ryan said.

        He later said that he supports a merit-based immigration system.

        • efoveks

          I prefer my immigrants be ambitious and family-oriented. I would rather they gain their merits here and contribute to their new country of choice. That’s what it used to be, to be American.

        • eyelashviper

          In other words, he pulls up the ladder after he gets out of the shithole.

        • puredog

          Being fair to Ryan is a bridge too far.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      So, Ryan admits D45 is lying about having said that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      ZEGS is a cowardly shithole.

    • efoveks

      They did not send their best either, did they?

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Now ask him about WSJ word salad and dementia ranting. Seriously.

  • Reximus
  • goonemeritus

    I think Trump’s manor of speaking might seem more understandable if the listener were to be tripping balls. I don’t know this for a fact but someone should try to verify.

    • Oblios_Cap

      his manor of speaking houses a very limited vocabulary.

      • Bobathonic

        Nicely estated.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Well, he was to the manure born.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Little Lard Fauntleroy.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Fartleroy?

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Estated? Get real.

    • SisterArtemis

      It would either be more understandable, or send the ball-tripping person into a very, very bad acid trip.

    • Nockular cavity

      I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it makes a lot more sense if one is a racist moron.

    • marxalot

      Fuck, I’m not turning on and then listening to that. Sounds like a one way ticket to the bin.
      Now, I will say that his speech patterns resemble that of someone tripping balls or otherwise off their ass.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Christopher Story

      Stoner me just went: “Duuuuuude…”

      • C4TWOMAN

        Our collective inner Bill and Ted…
        “WHOA…”

    • Gosala

      I keep saying we’ve slipped into a pocket shithole universe.

      • MynameisBlarney

        For sure.

    • Bad Tom

      A terrifyingly relevant point. (Looks in mirror.) But FAKE WORLD would have FAKE MIRRORS, also too.
      Shit.

  • It’s a good thing he’s a very stable genius or this would be terrifying.

  • NastyBossetti

    I hate the word “lover” when anyone says it, and here you are, quoting THIS motherfucker saying it repeatedly? Excuse me, but I have to go vomit forever now.

  • SayItWithWookies

    On the whole, I prefer the literary coherence of “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall.”

  • puredog

    If you’ve got the stomach for it, here’s the entire WSJ interview (except for parts that were apparently off the record): http://archive.is/m98tL

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The way to make Trump look terrible is to simply repeat everything he says, verbatim. Rupert Murdoch must be pissed at him for something.
      There were times I would get mildly annoyed at Obama for taking the tone of a professor lecturing a class of first year law students. Now I that we are a shithole, I see that as a first world problem.

      • goCatgo

        I noticed that about Bammerz but it didn’t bother me cause I learned a long time ago there are a lot of people smarterz than me, and I always learned something.

  • efoveks

    Tell me more about these Norwegian showshoes. (Best typo ever, btw.) :D

  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • BMW

    In addition to basically everyone in the world who is going to suffer because of one of his terrible decisions or remarks, I also feel bad for future writers of screenplays who will have to write dialogue that matches this level of incoherence. I am mentally picture tomorrow’s William Goldman or Aaron Sorkin having to turn this gibberish into a coherent scene in a movie.

    • LucindathePook

      I feel sorry for the writers who have to come up with plots. I mean, what is happening is unbelievable, yet they will have to come up with fiction that is more compelling than fact.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…
    Dunno if y’all remember me talking about the Taco truck down the road from my shop.
    Well, I went there today for lunch, and there’s now a Cuban lunch truck and one of those little trailer cookers thingies but couldn’t tell what kind of food they sell.
    If we can’t have taco trucks on every corner, I’ll settle for 3 on one corner.

    • C4TWOMAN

      ITS TRUE! THE MESSICANS ARE INVADING!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Mmmmm Cuban sammiches

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Hoarder.

  • JohnBull

    A friend of mine from Cedar Rapids recently said her brother loved attending last year’s Trump rally. He (among other people) said it was the most fun he’s ever had. Kinda makes you wonder what kinds of things entertained these people before that.

  • TootsStansbury
    • Proud Liberal

      I’ve been on the verge of tears since he said that. It’s so fucking depressing.

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    So when I called my republican congressman to express my concern that the WSJ interview suggests a man whose mind has turned into applesauce because of dementia, staffer wanted to assure me that the congressman would have a statement soon but the president used “regrettable language” when talking about those countries and I was like “no no no no, I’m not even talking about the whole ‘s-hole’ comment, I am talking about his interview where he was talking crazy and repeating himself and didn’t seem to know what was going on.”

    Shithole sucks, y’all, but this word salad is fucking terrifying and don’t let them bury this because they’re too busy saying he was bad for using a swear.

    As I was getting my keys to the new apartment (yay, moving day), they were listening to Rush (gag) and it was all about the shithole thing (being correct and even the Democrats know it). Can we get #DonnieDementia trending on twitter?

    • Courser_Resistance

      This one’s for you! One of my favorite songs ever!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKOwwjouRd8

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        OMG that’s perfect! Thank you! :)

    • mailman27

      Anytime he ventures into an explanation of anything, it”s utterly incoherent.

  • NastyBossetti

    “Now, I could of [sic]”

    Just wondering if the “[sic]” was actually in the transcript or added by Wonkette? Because it seems highly likely to me that Donald Trump actually did say “could of” instead of “could’ve.” I just am not sure how the person transcribing would know for sure.

    • SisterArtemis

      shouldn’t that be “could have” anyway?

      • sincarne

        Yes, hence sic. It’s Latin for “thus was it written,” meaning the mistake was in the original text. It’s so you don’t think the person quoting introduced the error.

        • SisterArtemis

          I got the [sic] part and am very familiar with its use.

          More what I was wondering about: is “could of” ever used as a colloquialism, or part of some (New York?) vernacular? Should’ve been “could’ve,” as it were, is my understanding, but I never like to assume, because there are different ways of speaking all over the damned English-speaking map.

          I do wonder if it was based on a computer/audio translation, which heard “could’ve” and translated phonetically as “could of.”

          • sincarne

            Ah, sorry; hope I didn’t sound condescending then. I thought your question was about the term itself. FWIW, I just tried the voice dictation on my Mac, and with my neutral accent, got “could’ve” when I tried saying that. From the little I know of voice-to-text, it does a lot of prediction based on Markov chains, so would prefer “could have” and “could’ve”.

          • SisterArtemis

            Not condescending, I just didn’t make clear which part sounded off to me

    • Opalescent Riddles

      The [sic] was added by Wonkette. I think “could of” is how Dumpy thinks and says it.

  • spangled

    What’s your fave dementia Don turn of phrase?
    Mine is, “we’re doing numbers like ISIS has never seen before. Terrorists — they’re bad.”

    • Proud Liberal

      “Believe me.”

  • Proud Liberal
  • TJ Barke

    And yet Russia remains the one country he won’t insult…

    • Proud Liberal

      They’ve got the pee-pee tapes.

    • JohnBull

      He could insult their driving skills, but that’s pretty low-hanging fruit.

    • Paperless Tiger

      He knows where his bread is buttered.

      • SisterArtemis

        I read that as “He knows where his brain is buttered” …

        • Marion in Savannah

          Really? I thought it was “he knows his brain is butter.”

          • SisterArtemis

            well, his brain probably isn’t butter, but one of those weird margarine concoctions with a cutesey name: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Brain Cells!, perhaps, or Country Crock of Bullshit,

          • Marion in Savannah

            [snort] I think I know exactly the product it is. Remember those old commercials for Chiffon margarine? Their tag line (rendered phonetically) was — “You think it’s butter, but it’s snot. It’s Chiffon.”

      • Bad Tom

        He knows where Vlad has his polonium irradiated.

  • JaveyDay

    🎼
    No Collusion! No Collusion!
    Conspiratorial Democrat Delusion!
    No Collusion! No Collusion!
    Another Fake News Illusion!
    No Collusion! No Collusion!
    Uranium One Email Fusion!
    No Collusion! No Collusion!
    Bucket of KFC Grease Transfusion!
    No Collusion! No Collusion!
    Shithole Country Immigrant Exclusion!
    No Collusion! No Collusion!
    I Need My Executive Time Seclusion!
    🎼

  • Michael R
    • Proud Liberal

      No doubt he’s a supporter of Shithole President.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Aw, he must have felt so economically anxious. He needs a presidential hug.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        even though it’s the murder of a cop – it won’t get a Presidential Tweet. (somebody noticed that despite Donnie’s love of terrorism, he failed to mention the white supremacist who was charged with the Amtrak plot last week).

    • TJ Barke

      Genes so superior that he has to wear glasses.

      • marxalot

        Hey now, some of my genes are super superior.
        Just, you know, not the myopia ones.

    • mailman27

      Just looking at that crapped out old car makes me economically anxious.

  • Bub the very stable zombie

    Classic non denial denial, by a pair of craven GOP racists:

    https://twitter.com/woody_tobias/status/951878021815955456

    • Paperless Tiger

      Imbalance, yes, but not in immigration

    • Rick Hill

      “We can only remember the things that benefit us.”

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Well, Cotton was breaking the Logan act before it was cool

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      and I’m sure he phrased it exactly that way too – “imbalance in our current immigrations system” – the kind of measured and diplomatic words Donnie is known for.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Well, he is noted for imbalance.

    • cmd resistor

      Craven slimeballs.

    • Bobathonic

      “I didn’t notice it” is not the same as “he didn’t say it”. And of course they wouldn’t notice.

      • Bad Tom

        It wouldn’t stand out because they all murmured “uh, huh” in agreement.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Nice try polishing that turd, guys.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Profiles In Courage. Country Before Party. Not allowed to call yourselves Patriots anymore, GOP, you’ve utterly lost that “branding”.

    • cmd resistor

      So Lindsey Graham was there and told his pal/fellow SC Senator Tim Scott Black Guy that yeah, it pretty much happened. Supposedly Graham sort of stood up to Trump but no one is giving details, including Graham. I saw some speculation on another site that since this wasn’t a real bi-partisan meeting and the only Dem there was Durbin, maybe he didn’t really recognize him and thought he was just another rethug, i.e., friend who would not be offended.

  • Rick Hill

    “If I could make one national security recommendation for the president it would be stop watching Judge Napolitano on Fox. This may be the only time when the country would benefit, from the national security point of view, if the president of the United States were watching cartoons in the morning instead of something else.”

    —Rep. Adam Schiff

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Judge Nap has actually pushed back against Donnie – there are worse people on TV that he seems to listen to.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Like that rage harpy Pirro.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        The tweet version amended it to Fox generally, IIRC

      • Doocy, Kilmeade, and Standard Issue Blonde, for starters…

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          y’all have nailed it – those 3 are who I was thinking of, but Pirrriro is a good one too.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Make morning cartoons great again!!!

    • SisterArtemis

      Here’s a recommendation for an appropriate cartoon:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EfnNUt_nwY

      • Rick Hill

        “Blah…blah…blah. Wth’s the remote?”

    • LesBontemps

      If he were watching cartoons, we’d get White House policy based on Wile E. Coyote schemes and purchased from Acme. Which, come to think of it, seems pretty much like what we have now anyway.

      • Naytch

        The Acme F-52 is the best fighter in the world! The rocket-skates were just a testbed.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • Proud Liberal

      Me thinks he doth protest too much.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Dementia or decompensating under stress- either one is horrible. Or it could be a little bit of both.

      • Bad Tom

        I vote for the two-fer.

      • Teecha

        Decompensating? Or decomposing?

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I’ll allow for that, too.

  • Zombishroom

    Is he working on an insanity plea?

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    Don’t you go dying on me, Wonkette.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Completely O/T. And posted a bazillion times. But dammit, sometimes I need cute.

    https://youtu.be/zKJJOdW3Jyk

    • Bub the very stable zombie
      • WomanInThePersistence

        They are adorable! What charming kitties!

      • The Wanderer

        Cute kitties! And is that a Ferrari scarf in the BG?

        • Looks like the Cavallino Rampante to me.

        • Bub the very stable zombie

          Yes it is.

      • Victoria Ricola

        My cat is sitting on my lap right now and meowing at the picture of your cats.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        They are beautiful- I just want to kiss that little pink nose,(which would be met with total disgust).

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      damn you, i was just about to get ready to go to work.

      ; p

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        dammit! It asks “why” but doesn’t answer.

        Cute pics though.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Bestest ROUS ever.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i ilke ginger kitten giving the capy belly rubs.

            Okay, I’m off! (Thanks for sending me out with a smile. Your day off?)

    • freakishlypersistent

      I want a capybara. Squuueeeeeeeeeeeee!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I do too. But it would definately freak out my dog.

        • freakishlypersistent

          Maybe not. Those turtles sure do love him!

        • Teecha

          ALL THE ANIMALS LOVE THE CAPYBARA

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Thor actually enjoys being an only child. It boggles my imagination to think how he would deal with rodent five times bigger than him.

      • Teecha

        I am allergic to *everything*

        I think I would not be allergic to a capybara.

    • mardam422

      Capybaras get all the best dope.

    • Petunia Cat

      It would make sense if that was a binturong. Because they smell like popcorn. 😊🍿

  • No meeting
    No tweeting
    The fake news
    Is cheating.

    No hoaxes
    No jokeses
    Our people
    Jus’ folkses

  • ez

    “…Ahh, but the strawberries that’s… that’s
    where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond
    the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate
    key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if
    they hadn’t of pulled the Caine out of action.,,”

    • The Wanderer

      Just so long as Trump does not start fondling the balls while he speaks.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Ugh.

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          Next week.

    • SadDemInTex

      Bogart!!!!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Imagine a government guided entirely by the smalltalk of some crackpot.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Or delusional idiots on the divan. Brain Kilmeade is Secretary of Gobbmint.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And bored rich greedy fuckers.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Paddles!! Clear!!!

  • Let’s assume for a minute that I am blinded by librul Trump hatred.

    Is there any way of reading 45*’s mouth garbage so it makes sense?

    • Marion in Savannah

      No. SASQ.

    • SisterArtemis

      Simple: just replace the word pile with one inside your own head! Simple, and you get the added benefit of believing you both understand the president, and R SMRT!

      Seriously, I think the base has never truly listened to his speeches, just pinged off some commonly understood and very vague words, and went off believing Trump spoke for them. This would be no different. Scintillating analysis is not in the wheel house for his base.

      • You nailed. No one who was capable of actually listening could support this feculent turd.

        • Lordpnut

          Exactly. No rational honest person of even modest intelligence could support what he says. More often they fail on all measures; craven, venal liars stupid enough to believe they’ll get a slice of the booty.

      • tomamitai

        They listen like dogs do: https://youtu.be/ZZLEYjVFsNI

    • greyXstar

      Short answer: no.

      Long answer: hell no.

  • OneYieldRegular

    SO great to see Paul Ryan taking a forceful, principled stand on Trump’s racism by declaring the President’s comments “unfortunate and unhelpful.”

    Later today he’ll celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. by stating that the Ku Klux Klan might have been “irksome” to some African Americans.

    • gallbladder

      Reminds me of Joni Ernst calling the UCSB shooting an ““unfortunate accident.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I find his comments Deeply Troubling, and also that they Raise Concerns. I am Calling On the president to rescind them, and thereby Become Presidential again.

      • Lisa

        You totally, like, forgot Thoughts and Prayers.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Well thank GOD he’s finally raised his threat level to “Unfortunate and unhelpful”. Maybe soon he might go to RED ALERT and issue a proclamation declaring that he’s “Rather disturbed as of late”.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    “I never got a phone call from Russia.”

    Never is a long time. Let’s fact-check that with public information:

    Aras Agalarov. the Russian real estate billionaire, called President-elect Donald Trump to congratulate him on his election victory in November (2016).

    “Never”, huh?

    • tomamitai

      Doesn’t count if call from Russian is coming from inside campaign.

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump’s view of the world does in fact directly correlate with the film, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, which he is thinking of when he says Comey One Two Three.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Because he never rode the subway in his life.

      • Mavenmaven

        yeah, he was afraid of all those BLACKS and PORTORIKANS with their KNIVES and BOOMBOXES.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          That’s POOAIRTOE HREEKINS to him.

  • CripesAmighty

    Gllrrrrrrpppfffft. Bglrrrrrrgpppp. Kkkkhhhkkkkuuuwwwff. Gak.

    • gallbladder

      Beat me to it.

  • fawkedifiknow

    The only remotely possible explanation for that barf puddle of words is that Trump gets talking and thinking and speaking advice, and such, from Mama Griffty herself, Sarah Palin.

    • tomamitai

      Or he’s trying to microdose acid and is taking too much.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        Cocaine. He sounds like somebody really high on coke.

      • Lordpnut

        I’ve dropped a lot of acid, and I have NEVER seen a person under its influence so inarticulate.

  • george lastrapes

    To the tune of ‘Oklahoma’—

    No-o-o-o collusion nocollusion nocollusion nocollu—
    No collusion no, collusion no,
    Collusion lusion lusion lusion no-

    That’s as far as I’ve gotten. But the PeeResident, who’s got the pipes of a Broadway star, can sing the heck out of it!

  • LesBontemps

    Are we sure WSJ wasn’t interviewing Bill the Cat?

  • Jennaratrix

    I.
    CAN’T.
    EVEN.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    His attorneys have to be scared shitless at the possibility that he’ll talk to Mueller.

    • They’ll insist on being there to “translate”.

    • puredog

      After reading this, I’m sure *Mueller* is scared shitless to talk to him.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I am asking myself if that works- when questioned by law enforcement babble insanely and constantly repeat yourself.
        I kind of tried it once at a deposition but it didn’t go well. The attorneys on my side said to say something if I didn’t understand the question. It ends up you just can’t keep saying that you don’t understand the question.

        • Roadstergal

          But at some point, you felt some shame or other negative emotion about the possibility of being labeled A Idiot?

          That’s the ace card Drumpf has. None of that.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            It would get back to my employer, and I respected the attorneys representing our side. While we’d been put in an untenable position, I cared about all those people. We did settle (yay)

    • Rick Hill

      I think at this point they’re just making sure they get paid and they are also, constantly, drunk

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      “I’m Putin’s best friend. Most people don’t know this but we talk all the time. He is always calling me for my business advice. I have the best business advice.”

      • Daniel

        “Not many people know I sell the best polonium. Trumpolonium is the greatest, the- believe me.”

    • Lordpnut

      They should be. It’s a common trajectory for dementia. Reason and memory fade, replaced by delusional hubris and bravado. Nietzsche suffered a similar decline due to terminal syphilis, but he started out as a brilliant, highly educated scholar.

  • Sophia
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, this is the same doofus who let us all celebrate Christmas for the first time in FOREVER!!!!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Maybe he’ll also decide that we should have a day celebrate presidents. Nobody celebrates presidents anymore… (sad trombone)

      • Bammelam

        .. yes, so finally we could have christmas trees again.
        Just like Jebus had

    • mardam422

      For fuck’s sake. That looks and sounds exactly like the inscription on Emil Faber’s statue.

    • Dg Hacket

      Unless they’re from a shithole

  • OrG Unstable Genius

    Holy shit. I’ve seen homeless junkies WAY more coherent than that.

    • Jay B.

      Homeless schizophrenic junkies amped up on street meth

      • Bammelam

        .. with a sever head concussion

        • Heather

          I read this as “with a severed head” at first. Probably also accurate.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    WSJ: Okay, Mr. President, let’s stipulate that there was no collusion. But was there cooperation?
    DJT: Well…
    WSJ: How about coordination?
    DJT: Now, about that…
    WSJ: Collaboration?
    DJt: Perhaps a little bit.

  • Gina

    My brain is bleeding now, and I have to drive home in a few hours.

    • mary5920

      black pepper can stop bleeding but perhaps not from the brain.
      Hey did anyone actually spend all the time it takes to read that drivel? I am getting ready to go out so will spend more time with his dementia later.

      • Gina

        I stopped at “oh god stop talking.” Felt the blood about to start coming out of my eyes at that point.

        • theCryptofishist

          Yeah, I thought I was done with blood all over my clothes post-menopause, but

  • Bitter Scribe

    Robert Mueller is going to chew up this guy and spit him out.

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      And then spend the next few hours gargling freshmint Listerine to get the taste out of his mouth.

      • theCryptofishist

        And we will catch the holy listerine in our vessels and dance, dance on this day of joy.

        Be sure to pencil that in on your calendar.

        • Petunia Cat

          Listerine dancing, got it. 📝

    • Petunia Cat

      I hope so. And he will unless Trump’s answers are so batshit crazy and disjointed that any question Mueller asks just leads to an answer of Infinite Salad. 😱

  • mardam422

    I do?

  • Anna Rompage

    There’s the rub…

    Donad always wanted to marry a hot Norwegian, but they found him too tacky and crass, so he had to lower his aspirations settle for Wives from the former Soviet republic….

  • JMP

    “What he did with Hillary Clinton is outrageous.”

    Yes, what he did with Hillary Clinton was outrageous, the way he lead that witch hunt over that email bullshit even though it was clear she did nothing wrong was insane, and the way he reopened that conspiracy theory right before the election probably swung it to a complete monster.

    “He saved her life, because all of those charges”

    Oh. You live in opposite land. This is completely insane.

    • Mintie

      I want to assume Trump is alluding to the time he threatened her if she won, so, theoretically, Comey saved her life by dirtying her reputation.

      But I think that depends too much on Trump’s ability to be subtle.

      • Roadstergal

        Not to mention his ability to remember shit.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Ho. Lee. Crap.

  • John McLaughlin

    I guess that settles it then…there was collusion but it was Hillary that colluded. Thank you DJT.

    • Roadstergal

      She colluded with the Russians to win the election! But we colluded with them to win the Electoral College, so neener!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’m sorry but there is just no way I can possibly read anymore of this walking shithole’s stupid fucking shit. I said yesterday that I keep being surprised by how much more I can hate him every day, but I’m over that now; it appears obvious that I can hate him as much more as is called for by his ever-increasing loathsomeness.

  • starfanglednut

    I cannot fathom the logic. Hillary colluded with Russians to… lose the election?

    • Bammelam

      Yes, because Benghazi peadofile Pizza emails

      • Magnificent Mopery.

        I see what you did there.

    • Doug Langley

      That’s because she’s not a Sooooper Genius like Donald.

    • Bebecca

      Without collusion with the Russians, she would have lost by an even bigger landslide margin.

    • Daniel

      To make Trump look bad. Everything is about how mean people are to him.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        That just proves how bad she is at collusion, sheesh!

  • WeaselPoo

    That is the most argly bargly weeks old leftover salad yet from Trump, which tells me that Trump’s lawyers have nothing to fear: Mueller can ask Trump all the questions he wants and he won’t get one lick of sense out of him. Every answer will be insane.

    • irishdave3

      So who will do the “exam” to determine if he’s competent to stand trial?

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Is it just me are does it seem that these demented SHOTUS quote articles are starting to get a bit tedious?

    I mean there’s only so much stooopit that we can subject ourselves to, right?

    • Bammelam

      Yes. Parts of my brain just simply dies reading ( I NEVER listen to )
      Trumps shithole word-barfing

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        So, who do you think makes the best word salad? Trump, or Lou Sarah?

        • Petunia Cat

          All their word salads are like Waldorf salad. Disgusting.
          Waldorf salad: walnuts, grapes and something else in mayonnaise. No lettuce. 😳

  • TundraGrifter

    “My son had a brief meeting based on the fact that he thought whatever he thought.”

    Thought? He had a thought? To steal a line about Duh Gov’, if he had an original thought it would be beginner’s luck.

    • Bammelam

      “..My son had a brief meeting based on the fact that he thought whatever he thought…”
      Absolutely brilliant response. Nuff’said.

      In a courtroom :
      “.. why did your son kill that man ? ..”
      “..My son had a brief killing based on the fact that he thought whatever he thought…”
      “.. OK , he’s free to go then ..”

  • Roadstergal

    “White House official: Excuse me, I just—we have about two or three minutes left and you’ve got to go to a meeting.

    Mr. Trump: Oh I do?

    White House official: Yes, you have an 11:15.”

    OK, you lost me this early in. He didn’t respond, “Oh, I do? Which meeting?” And even though he hadn’t, the Official didn’t say, “Yes, your 11:15 with Hoody and Howdy about corn subsidies” or whatever.

    Clearly, not only is the Prez unable to remember his meetings, he’s unable to care about the content, either.

    And this is all assuming this was a meeting and not a ‘meeting,’ the way I sometimes have a ‘phone call’ on a shitty date.

    • BigHorn

      I would nearly guarantee it was a ‘meeting’. If they let him repeat the same shit 3 times in a row it gets really obvious to them that it’s really obvious to us that he’s lost the plot. I’m equally sure he’d have the same “oh i do” response about an actual meeting.

    • attitude devant

      Definitely a ‘meeting’

  • TundraGrifter

    “Look, there has never been in the history of this country an administration that, number one, did nothing wrong …”

    I looked and I couldn’t find anything done wrong by the Administration of President William Henry Harrison.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      He didn’t wear a top coat to his inauguration in the pouring rain and a month later he died of pneumonia. That was pretty bad.

      • TundraGrifter

        But was that a mistake of his Administration?

        • sarafina

          Or there were a lot of people who were ill with colds/pneumonia at his inauguration who breathed on him.

          • TundraGrifter

            Back in those days if you were in a crowd of two or more people you were probably adjacent to someone with a fairly nasty disease of one sort or another. Not to mention rancid breath from rotting teeth and gums. And a general aversion to the routine use of soap and hot water.

    • Bebecca

      Wonder if he is aware Barack Obama had ZERO scandals in his right year term.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        He’s talking about REAL Presidents, you know, white guys, try to keep up /s

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Because the documents used to write up the charges were used as rolling papers for the guards on Graveyard

  • TundraGrifter

    “…they said, ‘You never did anything wrong.’ To be honest, [almost always a tell that a lie is coming next] they probably were surprised, OK? As most lawyers would be.”

    Surprised? I’d go with floored, completely shocked or the President’s own favorite “unbelievable.”

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Hmm. End game?
    Hicks, Sanders and Cohn are with him, but not ONE of them says a word. They let him ramble and ramble and demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is ready for the canvas jacket with extra-long sleeves – because they were ORDERED to. By Pence, who will ‘reluctantly’ invoke the 25th and send Donnie to a farm upstate.
    And then America is REALLY fucked.

    • shivaskeeper

      I disagree. Pence is a professional toady. Everything in his background says he’s perfectly happy being #2. He really does believe leadership is appointed by God and to cross the leadership is to cross God and his grand plan.

      With that being said, Pence will be less effective than Trump is. He is an unpopular, failed GOPer Governor from an extremely red state. He was about to get trashed in the last election so he decided to not run again. He has no real allies at the Federal level.

      He may try for his religious, dominionist society, but he will fail, His Baptist White Evangelical religion does not sit well with the actual majority of people in the country. FFS, at the minimum, he will never get it past the very Catholic SCOTUS as they all the end game there is banning any religion or sect that is not Evangelical.

      He also lacks Trump’s biggest asset. He has motivated his base through a cult of personality. Pence has no discernible personality to form a cult around.

      The base will not follow him en mass. The only part of the base that Trump has managed to cobble together that would follow Pence are the rest of the Evangelicals. They will always follow one of their own, so that’s not a surprise. The ones who are attracted to Trump because of any of other traits like his racism, spite, white supremacy, or any of his other bullshit are not going to follow a political milquetoast. Granted that there is some overlap with the Evangelicals, but it’s not all of them.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        I hope you’re right. But I can’t see any other reason why someone would put President Shithole on record without restraint. Could it be they’re as deluded about Pence’s usefulness as they were about Donnie’s?

        • shivaskeeper

          Yes, they can be that deluded. They backed him and continue to back him, so their judgement is already suspect. They have also seen the others who get tossed under the bus, know about the utter lack of loyalty from him, and know that everyone and everything he has ever worked with has gone to shit. They are hoping they are going to be the ones who survive.

          They could also be so cowed by Twittler that they let him do these interviews, despite knowing how bad they are going to be, because spinning them later is easier than dealing with him now.

          On a more serious note, Pence is a nobody with no political friends. Pence is a loser. He knows it, the rest of the GOP knows it, the base knows it. He knows he was picked to give some legitimacy to the Evangelical vote and some gravitas to the campaign because he can fake being a serious, concerned human fairly well. He was picked because his career was very literally over so here was no chance of a miscalculation like with Sessions’ old seat.

          Being relatively unknown outside of Indiana was a plus, but what else was he going to do? He lost the Governor’s mansion, again, in a red state. He was too hated to be elected to the House or Congress to move up to Federal level.

          He was chosen specifically because he was no danger to anyone in the GOP on any level.

        • MC Planck

          Hope Hicks cannot restrain Trump. That’s not her job. She does damage control and clean up. That’s it.

          Nobody can restrain Trump. There’s no need to explain why they don’t, because no one, ever, has succeeded.

      • Petunia Cat

        Oh I don’t believe Pence believes in God at all. I’m way past buying into these people’s shit. Religion is a wonderful way to shut people up and make them treat you with respect. The lot of the evangelical politicians.

        • shivaskeeper

          It does not matter if he believes in God. He believes in the religion. At the bare minimum he has to follow the rules of the religion if he wants to stay in their good graces, not be deemed controversial, and still have their support.

          I think he does believe in God though. The thing is, his god is a petty, mean, vindictive god who would not be fit to run a sandbox in a playground let alone a world or the universe.

          • Petunia Cat

            Nah. He’s a total grifter. And gets off on pushing the boundaries on what he can do and still be considered all “godly“ in that crazy right-wing southern way.

          • shivaskeeper

            He’s a grifter, no doubt about that, but he is also a member in good standing of his denomination. He claims the religion and they say he’s good to go in the religion.

            Unless he steps over the approved line on two of the four core beliefs, or far over the line on one of them, he’ll continue to be a member in good standing and noncontroversial.

            The four core beliefs are anti-abortion, anti-LGBT, anti-evolution, and Biblical inerrency. That’s the new and modern quadrilateral. Of course there are a few other minor beliefs, but those are the big four.

          • Petunia Cat

            Yep. He doesn’t need to actually be a decent person in any kind of human compassion way. Just keep on wallowing in those negatives. Plus biblical inerrancy which is just too weird even think about. ☺️

    • JParkerSD46

      True dat.

  • TundraGrifter

    “…USA Today said, ‘he does great in the courts,’ OK?”

    Basketball or tennis? I mean, if USA Today said it, case closed! You betcha!

    • Tony Prost

      well I have seen pics of him in tennis togs, but basketball shorts? =shudder=

      • Trump in basketball shorts: “I’m actually very good at basketball. The best athlete, really, in whatever I try. Not many know that. They don’t give me a lot of credit for that being the best athlete. It’s why the Blacks love me, really. The Blacks love athletes, especially in basketball.”

    • Petunia Cat

      Didn’t the USA Today have one of the most scathing anti-trump editorials, a couple weeks ago? Where the content of his fantasies comes from… is an interesting question.

  • next step: he’ll be buttnekkid and pissing from the WH balcony.

    • SDGeoff3

      I’d expect that at the State of the Union address. By then, he should be pretty well nutty and gone.

      • Tony Prost

        OMG that is coming up! Jesus, can he do it?

        • theCryptofishist

          He’ll be getting Republican applause. He feeds off that. Plus, he’ll go into full campaign mode.
          I’m not watching. Colbert and those guys will have clips.

          • Roadstergal

            Yeah, I’m going to wait for the Sam Bee version, so I can maintain my sanity.

        • Roadstergal

          I would give any amount of money for one of the invited sexual harassment victims to stand up in the middle of it and yell, “You lie!”

          • javadavis

            How could anyone tell?

        • SDGeoff3

          Let’s wait and see. Judging from his latest gems, it should be a real barnstormer. Who will be his targets? Which ethnic groups will be insult the most? What will be the biggest lie? And for the grand finale, when he goes off script, and he will, will the public finally get annoyed enough to get patriotic?

        • Petunia Cat

          He’ll read it off the Teleprompter like a robot. They’ll maybe even sedate him in advance. His hideous team will do everything in their power to make him seem sane. So they might succeed. Keep your eyes open for them removing him completely from any company and putting him in seclusion IMMEDIATELY after it ends.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      And the MSM fluffers would wax poetically on how “unconventional” and “free-spirited” he was, and how showing the world his mud flaps proves “he has nothing to hide”

    • Petunia Cat

      I wish! I figure that’s the point at which we can finally fucking get rid of him. Because the sleazy GOPers will finally see they have something to lose by keeping this guy around. 🤞🏼

  • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

    For not being a Manchurian Candidate, he sure has been able to alienate a lot of America’s allies, and seems to be isolating us from the rest of the world.

    But sure, tell me again how “he tells it like it is,” Trumpers, when nobody can even understand what the fuck he’s saying.

    Next time, Trump fans, please say “he glorps shoehorns like eggplant feels!” because you always want to be as clear and concise and make as much sense as your dear leader.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Fuck me gently with a chainsaw! That made sense 😂😂😂

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, but “he horns shoeglorps egg feelie plant-like” is total applesauce.

    • Ducksworthy

      He always tell it just like it is inside my head.

    • marshlc

      I suspect most Trumpers have never really known what it is to completely understand something. They got a little behind in kindergarten, and never really caught up – you know that you went to school with people like that. They’re used to not really understanding, and are pretty sure that everyone who says they do understand is just pretending.

      So, one, Trump’s nonsense sounds about as sensible to them as anything else they’ve ever heard a politician say – it’s all been word salad to them, all along. They think it’s *supposed* to be word salad. And, two, when everyone is crying out that Trump doesn’t really know what the hell he’s doing, they get a sense of comfort from that. For them, not knowing what you’re doing is the natural way of things.

      • MC Planck

        I like that analogy… but it’s not true. They’re not stupid. They’re just racists.

        The only reason they have any trouble with logic, science, or common sense is because those things stubbornly refuse to validate white male privilege.

        • marshlc

          For some, I agree wholeheartedly. But for others, I suspect that their racism is just another facet of their stupidity. Actually thinking about their attitudes toward race that they learned in Bumfuck Missouri in 1962, actually examining them in light of reality, is as foreign to them as examining their attitudes toward math (it’s hard) that they learned in Bumfuck Primary School in 1962.

          They just don’t think. It’s not just race or women’s issues or any other social issue that they grabbed onto an easy attitude toward, fifty (forty, ten…) years ago, and haven’t examined since, but it’s everything. They don’t think about public policy. They don’t think about economics. They don’t think about anything, they just have feelings and react to them.

          Because thinking is hard, because they’re stupid.

    • MC Planck

      He tells it like it is just by being there. “It” being the value of white male privilege, of course.

  • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

    No collusion. There’s nothing going on. You didn’t see anything. You’re the collusion.

    https://youtu.be/l6tAW7bbnAU

    • amrak63

      It’s a man’s life in the British Dental Association!

  • SDGeoff3

    That funny comment about his son thinking what he thought sounds to me like “fuck off and die.”

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Vacuous Virgina

    The meeting is adjourned.

    It is?

  • Run2Live
    • Ducksworthy

      I was envisioning this very thing but with Mike Pence’s head popping out of a Jack in the Box that was being wound tighter and tighter.

    • dieselox

      IKR? Just saw Obama’s interview on Netflix, with Letterman. They barely mentioned or really even allude to Orange Shitgibbon, and even then, the entire thing is a complete takedown of the Highchair shit flinger.

      It’s like comparing a Tesla Model S with a dirty broken plastic supermarket toy car forgotten at the bottom of the free bin at the crappy thrift store down the street.

      Go watch the interview. Inspiring.

      • dieselox

        But I just had this devastating thought. For years now, I’ve been trying to understand how people can think like conservative assholes. I mean really try to get my head around how you would have to actuallybe to really believe that shit.

        Imagine growing up so bereft of normal human nurturing that your mom, who may have loved you once in a while, could only really give you that dirty shitty broken toy car for a present. But she tells you it’s as good as any other car any other kid has. Nothing special about that fancy shiny one with lights and sounds and shit. Hell, it’s as good as a Tesla Model S, if you’re honest, because those are just gummint tax dollar funded toys for rich fuckers.

        So your whole life, you wait for the opportunity to use your broken shitty toy car, because you know it’s as good as the real actual Tesla Model S. So when you get the chance, you take your family out to the curb, and literally try to wedge them into this 6 inch long broken dirty toy car, and it’s like a Fellini movie, the abject horror of seeing the actual lunacy required to really believe you could fit a family into a broken 6 inch toy car.

        I don’t know. It made sense in my head. Doesn’t really get there yet. Something about a 6 year old DJT smashing a toy car against the wall repeatedly, and saying “see everyone? I’m driving you all to the promised land in my very adequate car!!!1!!!!111!1!!!!!”

        • MC Planck

          If you want to understand the Conservative mind, from politics to guns to economics to social issues, just read this: http://civilwarcauses.org/debow.htm

          It’s a bit old, but nothing has changed.

    • Sakonyachen

      Hadn’t thought about it before. MAD Magazine must be having a field day.

  • Vorhees

    “he’ll have a meeting, and then he’ll leave, and he’ll call up the meeting, and then I’ll have a meeting and then he’ll leave.”

    There’s kind of an, ah, expectation…

    I mean, I go to meetings too, and if I don’t leave, someone will eventually be all like, “Um, we have this conference room now. Go away please?”

    Also that if I don’t leave, I’ll probably miss the next meeting. Maybe lunch too, unless I brought it to the meeting.

    • Bebecca

      Actually, if you didn’t leave security would escort you out and your office stuff would come flying out the door after you. Ask Omarosa and Stephen Miller.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I get the feeling if nobody else had the room booked, they’d happily leave me there until I started to stink.

      • Petunia Cat

        Hey, wait a sec. Stephen Miller hasn’t been you’refired has he? Did I fall asleep for 24 hours and missed something?!

        • Bebecca

          Sorry, no. He was led out of the CNN studio last Sunday after he failed to leave after the show he was doing was shut down because he was such a flaming asshole.

          • Petunia Cat

            Oh right! I had forgotten that what was the flood of brain scaldingly voluminous WTF news all the fucking time! Yes thinking about him being dragged out of the TV studio is one of the great pleasures of life. #ObsequiousFactotum

    • BeachLoafer

      There’s the problem – you have to loiter in a conference room where the next scheduled meeting includes a catered lunch.

      • laineypc

        That is how I get my kids to go to stuff. “There will be food not cooked by me”.

    • cleos_mom

      I just go to meetings for the donuts.

    • Petunia Cat

      Read that part you quoted in Ralph Wiggum’s voice. It makes it much better.

  • Apple Scruff

    I do love how all in all of these interviews he does, the papers are quoting his verbatim — complete with the repetition and the pauses. It really highlights how batshit crazy he is.

  • greyXstar

    Okay, the fact that he had no idea about that meeting and immediately forgot about it is extremely not good. That’s exactly the kind of thing mom suffered from before the tumor completely destroyed her brain.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Mueller will just subpoena the Dope. That’ll end all his running around telling the world how his lawyers advised him not to voluntarily talk w/ Mueller. Show up or get Indicted. Or is it show up AND get Indicted?

  • Bebecca

    As I was reading that, I thought “Evan made this up, even that demented crazy orange asshole wouldn’t spout such nonsense”. My son thought what ever he thought? Wtf?

    • Petunia Cat

      “My son thought……..whatever he thought“ is the sound of his train of thought draining away. During the ellipsis imagine that guy on Jake Tapper who didn’t know you could use any kind of Bible to get sworn in. Blinky McStupidhead.

  • Keepwishing
  • JParkerSD46

    Can El Dotardo please identify the “they” and the “everybody” he’s always citing? Just curious. Can “everybody” be “they”? Can “they” be “everybody”? I haz a cunfoozed.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      The common simple worker of the field. Salt of the earth. You know. Morons.

    • Sakonyachen

      No! No! No! Don’t mess around with it. If you don’t understand the Brass Ass when he speaks, it means you’re doing it right. Let it be and enjoy your good fortune.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Easy, put it through the Trump Translator App:

      “They”= people Donnie doesn’t like very much

      “everybody”= people Donnie likes very much, including the collection of small furry animals grooving with a Pict in his skull

      And this guy has the launch codes, despite not knowing/caring what the Nuclear Triad was. I knew the Triad when I was 11 years old, and the highest rank I ever got was LT.

  • littlegreen

    HAHAHAHAHA

    All this, plus the demure adult entertainer STORMY DANIELS.

    Classy guy… and so articulate.

  • Herewegoagain

    our Con in Chief – in his prime ……Donnie obviously got his appetite outside but didn’t it at home,… guess , Melanie didn’t served it up ?

    Note………..
    Michael Rothfeld, Joe Palazzolo
    The Wall Street Journal – ‎Saturday‎, ‎January‎ ‎13‎, ‎2018

    Trump Lawyer Arranged $130,000 Payment for Adult-Film Star’s Silence

    A lawyer for President Donald Trump arranged a $130,000 payment to a former adult-film star a month before the 2016 election as part of an agreement that precluded her from publicly discussing an alleged sexual encounter with Mr. Trump, according to people familiar with the matter.

    Michael Cohen, who spent nearly a decade as a top attorney at the Trump Organization, arranged payment to the woman, Stephanie Clifford, in October 2016 after her lawyer negotiated the nondisclosure agreement with Mr. Cohen, these people said.

    Ms. Clifford, whose stage name is Stormy Daniels, has privately alleged the encounter with Mr. Trump took place after they met at a July 2006 celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe, these people said. Mr. Trump married Melania Trump in 2005.

  • Maybe

    Trump acts like a demented Magic 8-Ball.

  • Tio_Doidinho

    See, thing is y’all are just JEALOUS. (tosses weave, cracks gum, rollerskates away)

    • thixotropic jerk

      Twurl it gurl!!!!

  • dieselox

    Daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-daw-buh-dee-derp!

    • thixotropic jerk

      And that’s all folks!!!!

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    Did he have a meeting? Or were they trying to hustle El Motormouth out before he incriminated all of them?

    • Petunia Cat

      That’s what I was wondering too. Especially the “whole bunch of people in the Roseville room“. That could be something Trump likes, as much as he likes Pyjama Time. I mean Executive Time. 🥤

      • basillightfoot

        Mr. President, we have to go–you have that thing, you know that thing..
        Trump: That thing?
        Yeah, that thing that you have to do. We need to go now so you can do that thing.

  • Toledo Window Box

    The arguments that Trump makes are no stronger than the cardhouses of rightwing trolls, and not as well expressed. It’s amazing.

  • javadavis

    When do we get the new laws about everyone being required to put on clean underpants every day? And to facilitate the authoritays checking for compliance, we’ll all be required to wear our underpants on the outside of our clothes.

    • Sakonyachen

      I’m gonna get some magic Mormon underwear. Or a chastity belt.

    • cleos_mom
      • javadavis

        Well, don’t get your knickers in a knot over it, any uptick in manufacturing would probably be staffed by people incarcerated because they could not afford nice, new underwear in the approved styles and colors. It would probably be trumpeted as a reduction in unemployment, though.

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    I can’t wait till he’s forced to sit down with Mueller. This crap won’t fly.

    • chronozoan

      It won’t be Mueller. They’ll send in a very attractive female to question him and let the bastard talk himself into a guilty verdict.

      • Mark Dobrowolski

        Or a sexual assault charge on a federal agent

        • H0mer0

          I already saw that on SVU yesterday and it still haunts me. (I shouldn’t watch things like that.)

    • James Smith

      it will if it hits the fan.

    • How about the State of the Union address on Jan 30?

  • cleos_mom

    Everything with Trump is the greatest, the bigliest, the worst, the biggest distastuh IN HISSTERIE.

  • LeftyProud

    Not for nothing, but a friend of ours from school is an agent in th FBI. Comedy was very well like and respected.

  • Rooster Cogburn105

    That’s it, after 2 minutes I’m off to the ER with a subdural bleed, thanks, Evan.

    Peace Out!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f261ad02eeb6516f683a147a459fefa23f4bf083bd7ef640f2bbde9a7f7c204.jpg

  • Jo Mathie

    “there’s never been a paper we didn’t give them, there’s never been a question we didn’t answer.” Fine then give everyone your tax reports. Or how you are going to pay for the imaginary wall (not Mexico). Seriously has Trump actually answered any question properly?

    • MC Planck

      My first though too – “How about your tax returns, sir?” But of course the WSJ is not going to ask Twitler a question like that.

  • dieselox

    no collusion? just corruption, money laundering and all manner of other crimes:

    https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/former-president-maryland-based-transportation-company-indicted-11-counts-related-foreign

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    “So you’re running out of time.”

    From your mouth to Dawg’s ears, unnamed aide.

  • HawkeyeBarton

    I…okay, can someone please get this man some help? Like, I never thought I would have any sympathy for Trump, but this is just fucking sad.

    • Moar Wordz

      Agree

  • Relativicus

    How about that, though? The president publicly, and repeatedly, accuses an FBI agent of treason, and it all just goes down as a thing he said.

    But there’s a silver lining here. I’m putting the odds that a commander who receives a nuclear launch order will hang up the phone and think, “Oh, that’s just Trump being Trump” at no worse than 3:1.

  • Jo Mathie

    Trump and co lie about as convincingly as the couple who run the shop in “The League Of Gentlemen”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOtpgz4L5d8

  • Kurt Weil

    What would happen if they gave him Adderall? I mean, it would probably have to be a pill the size of a cantaloupe, but they could grind it up in applesauce or something.

    • Petunia Cat

      He’s already super hyper caffeinated. Whoa! He’s scared of being poisoned? Maybe he already is being drugged. If so, what would he be like without it? 😯

  • BOB®

    Yes, Dems, PLEASE give us more Sheila Jackson Lee s, Auntie Maxines, Keith Ellisons…CHELSEA CLINTON / KEITH ELLISON 2020!

    • Chels doesnot want tho? Can we stop trying to draft people?

      • BOB®

        Oh, brother…

  • Ducksworthy
  • Leftflank

    The first rule of dementia is, DO NOT, ask the demented person about their own dementia.
    Same rule for liars and narcissists.

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