SHARE

Why does the White House staff let Trump talk to reporters? If you’re going to put Poot Lips up there every afternoon to swear on a can of AquaNet that the President is the posterboy for mental health, then why let him sit down for an extended session of loonytoons word vomit with the Wall Street Journal! We know you’re all just amateurs up there, but COME ON! LORDY! THEY SHOULD JUST LET HIM WATCH TELEVISION IN HIS BATHROBE ALL DAY!

It’s been a year since that fool was sworn in, and we’ve all watched enough disaster porn to know the drill. Time for another round of Top 4,723 Batshit Insane Interview Quotes: The Not Russia Edition. Evan will fill you in on all the Russia fuckery later, so stay tuned!

Donny Bonespurs: Stable Genius

Just — and so — so I was successful, successful, successful. I was always the best athlete, people don’t know that. But I was successful at everything I ever did and then I run for president, first time — first time, not three times, not six times. I ran for president first time and lo and behold, I win. And then people say oh, is he a smart person? I’m smarter than all of them put together, but they can’t admit it. They had a bad year.

Did we not warn you this shit was crazy?

Trump Will Win at North Korea by Cutting Off Trade with … South Korea!

Donald Trump is president of wedgies! And there is trade! Last week Donald Trump took credit for talks between the two Koreas, but today he is threatening to stop buying South Korean exports if North Korea doesn’t give up its nukes. It’s turtles all the way down, people!

WSJ: You think North Korea is trying to drive a wedge between the two countries, between you and President Moon? […]

Trump: I will let you know. But if I were them I would try. But the difference is I’m president; other people aren’t. And I know more about wedges than any human being that’s ever lived, but I’ll let you know. But I’ll tell you, you know, when you talk about driving a wedge, we also have a thing called trade. And South Korea — brilliantly makes — we have a trade deficit with South Korea of $31 billion a year. That’s a pretty strong bargaining chip to me.

We have no intention of factchecking this entire trashfire. But yeah, he pulled that trade deficit number right out of his ass. Surprise!

Speaking of North Korea, Maybe Trump and Little Rocket Man are BFFs???

Or maybe they’re not. Trump doesn’t kiss and tell, because he’s a gentleman. Sure he tweets insults and threatens to rain fire down on North Korea. But everyone loves him, probably.

Trump: I probably have a very good relationship with Kim Jong Un of North Korea. I have relationships with people, I think you people are surprised.

WSJ: Just to be clear, you haven’t spoken to the North Korean leader, I mean when you say a relationship with Korea—

Trump: I don’t want to comment on it — I don’t want to comment, I’m not saying I have or I haven’t. But I just don’t—

WSJ: Some people would see your tweets, which are sometimes combative towards Kim Jong Un…

Trump: Sure, you see that a lot with me and then all of a sudden somebody’s my best friend. I could give you 20 examples. You give me 30. I’m a very flexible person.

What the hell is he talking about? Please, oh please don’t let this involve DM-ing pictures of his junk!

Speaking of Flexible Junk, Steve WHO?

We’ll see what happens, but Steve had nothing to do with my win. Well, certainly very little.

Steve’s greatest asset is he was able to convince a corrupt media that he was responsible for my win. Hope, just out of curiosity, you were there from day one. What do you think Steve in a percentage had to do with my victory?

I mean he was there. Corey [Lewandowski] had more to do with it. […]

David had more to do with it. Many people — I mean, there were many people — it’s a little before Sarah’s time. If you were here, you would have had more to do with it. No, I talked to Steve very little; I didn’t know Steve well, believe it or not. They made it sound like — I mean when that guy wrote the book about Steve.

If Sarah had been there, she would have been more responsible for Trump’s win than Steve. Who managed the campaign. And sat on the National Security Council. And is being questioned by the House Intelligence Committee next week. But, please, talk some more smack about that crazy guy you hardly knew!

WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL. Also, too WALL.

Hey, remember that book where the guy said Donald Trump just repeats the same thing over and over and over again?

The other thing … so the wall. The wall’s never meant to be 2,100 miles long. We have mountains that are far better than a wall, we have violent rivers that nobody goes near, we have areas…

Hmmm. We must have missed this part of his stump speech.

But, you don’t need a wall where you have a natural barrier that’s far greater than any wall you could build, OK? Because somebody said oh, he’s going to make the wall smaller. I’m not going to make it smaller. The wall was always going to be a wall where we needed it. And there are some areas that are far greater than any wall we could build. So, maybe someday somebody could make that clear, Sarah, will you make that clear please?

Yeah, Sarah! Somebody should make it clear that when he wrote that Executive Order referring to “a contiguous, physical wall or other similarly secure, contiguous, and impassable physical barrier” he was talking about the Rio Grande!

If you have a wall this thick and it’s solid concrete from ground to 32 feet high which is a high wall, much higher than people planned. You go 32 feet up and you don’t know who’s over here. You’re here, you’ve got the wall and there’s some other people here.

Is this that bullshit about the heroin catapults? Oh, FFS.

I would never do [DACA] without a wall, the wall is the wall and it’s the same wall that we’re always talking about. It’s — you know, wherever we need, we don’t need it where you have mountains; you don’t need it where you have rivers and — you know, vicious rivers.

The rivers, they are vicious! Also, WALL. (And you’re welcome for cutting out the other five piles of WALL barf.)

Trump Loves the Dreamers, It’s Those DACAs He Can’t Stand

Oh, we only wish we were dreaming!

There’s a lot of—there’s a lot of—there’s a big difference—first of all, there’s a big difference between DACA and Dreamers, OK?

Dreamers are different. And I want American kids to be Dreamers also, by the way. I want American kids to be Dreamers also.

But there’s a big difference between DACA and Dreamers. And a lot of times when I was with certain Democrats they kept using the word dreamer. I said, “Please, use the word DACA.” You know it’s a totally different word.

Holy fucking shit! No, the 800,000 Dreamers are the child arrivals allowed to stay under the Deferred Action for Child Arrivals Law, aka DACA! They’re the ones who came out of the shadows and applied for work permits, only to be told they were getting deported by a racist old loon.

The Dealmaker In Chief Gonna Make a NAFTA Deal

But first, more WALL gibberish.

Trump: Let me, let me tell you something about the wall. So I’ve always said we have to have a wall. I’ve also said Mexico’s got to pay for it — sometimes you know on occasion, I’d add who’s going to pay for it? Mexico. Well they will pay for it, OK? There are many forms of payment. I could name 10 right now. There are many forms of payment, I didn’t say how.

WSJ: Could you give us an example?

Trump: They can pay for it through, as an example, they can pay for it indirectly through NAFTA. OK? You know, we make a good deal on NAFTA, say I’m going to take a small percentage of that money and it’s going to go toward the wall. Guess what? Mexico’s paying. Now Mexico may not want to make the NAFTA deal and which is OK, then I’ll terminate NAFTA … which I think would be frankly a positive for our country. I don’t think it’s a positive for Mexico, I don’t think it’s a positive for the world. But it’s a positive for our country because I’d make a much better deal. There is no deal that I can make on NAFTA that’s as good as if I terminate NAFTA and make a new deal.

Just gonna try to wrap our brains around that one more time: “There is no deal that I can make on NAFTA that’s as good as if I terminate NAFTA and make a new deal.” Nope, still can’t unfuck it. But his replacement for Obamacare sure was pretty good, so we should probably just trust him!

We think what he was trying to say was that American farmers and manufacturers are getting screwed. But if we un-screw them, we can take some of their money and use it to pay for the wall. And that way, Mexico will pay. Unbelievable that this guy managed to go broke running casinos!

Wanna brag some more, Donny? Sure ya do!

They dislike me, the liberal media dislikes me. I mean I watch people — I was always the best at what I did, I was the — I was, you know, I went to the — I went to the Wharton School of Finance, did well. I went out, I — I started in Brooklyn, in a Brooklyn office with my father, I became one of the most successful real-estate developers, one of the most successful business people. I created maybe the greatest brand.

I then go into, in addition to that, part-time, like five percent a week, I open up a television show. As you know, the Apprentice on many evenings was the number one show on all of television, a tremendous success. It went on for 12 years, a tremendous success. They wanted to sign me for another three years and I said, no, I can’t do that.

That’s one of the reasons NBC hates me so much. NBC hates me so much they wanted — they were desperate to sign me for — for three more years.

He’s, like, really smart! Believe me. And now we are, like, really dumb. Have fun with Shitholeghazigate, Wonkers! We’re just gonna sit here playing with a fidget spinner waiting for our braincells to regenerate.

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please give us money! We read that entire goddamn interview. TWICE!

[WSJ]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • armed_bears
    • kaydenpat

      Are those statues of the Haitians who fought on our side during the Revolutionary War?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I would never do [DACA] without a wall, the wall is the wall and it’s the same wall that we’re always talking about.

    And a horse is a horse, of course, or course.

    • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

      Sassy!

  • arglebargle

    No wonder we never hear from Tundra Spice anymore. This is how you salad the words.

    • DrBigHead

      She has bowed to the new master.

      • kareemachan

        He is now her sensei.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Mad Dog 20/20?

    • ArgieBargie

      She’s busy trying to get Tarp to love her back.

  • Gigglesnort

    Walls – how do they work? (He was still talking about a “see-through” wall. Seriously.)

  • Scooby

    I kind of feel sorry for him.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you’re wearing pants, aren’t you

      • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

        On my head, yes.

        • SDGeoff3

          Where they belong

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I don’t. Not one bit.

    • kareemachan

      You shouldn’t.

    • kaydenpat

      Why? He’s an awful person with zero empathy. He’s a grifter. He’s childish. Over one thousand Puerto Ricans have died because of his inaction. He lies constantly and has made several racist remarks. No sympathy from me. Sympathy only for his victims.

      Go Mueller!!

      • Scooby

        I feel sorry for him because he is clearly mentally ill. I find his supporters more odious.

        • kaydenpat

          I have no idea whether or not he is mentally ill. Being mentally ill isn’t an excuse to be racist. He has always been a nasty person – long before he ran for President. He wasn’t mentally ill when he discriminated against Black and Brown tenants in the 70s. He was just racist.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I like how POC being interviewed on the news shows have just started calling him flat-out racist. About time.

  • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment
    • Antonin Dvorak

      The Merry-Go-Round had most definitely broken down.

      • The Wanderer

        Toot. Toot.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Oh when they say I’m nutsy
        It sure gives me a pain
        Please pass the ketchup I think its going to rain
        Oh you can’t bounce a meatball
        Though try with all your might
        Ah turn on the radio I want to fly a kite

        Good evening friends

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Definitely more representative of the Republican Party than their old logo.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Vicious Rivers is the name of my new Geraldo cover band.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • ariel_gee_398

      Depends on how soon you can apply the medicinal shot of whiskey.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A loooooooooong’ time….

      https://i.imgur.com/J2sJV5I.gif

  • dslindc
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    This all sounds like Drunk Donald Trump…maybe we should secretly replace his FOX video feed with Trailer Park Boys? Think he’d notice?..

  • dslindc

    I have meetings this afternoon. I think I’ll just go and shout, “Wall” at everyone the whole time. Very presidential!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    “Sure, you see that a lot with me and then all of a sudden somebody’s my best friend. I could give you 20 examples.”

    I would argue this is a rare moment of self-awareness. But the problem is that he sees this as an all-purpose, keep-’em-off-balance tactic that can only bring good results.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Don’t you wish they’d ask for those 20 examples?

  • folderol

    What a trashfire of a human being.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I no longer question the fact that his “handlers” “let” him talk to reporters, because dumpster fire. But, why do reporters still bother to talk to him? Is there some deeper understanding to be had than “senile, crazy, hateful old fuck?”

    • Raan

      Because it gets ratings/sells papers, either with the faithful or people who can’t resist gawking at a train wreck.

    • kareemachan

      Well, it makes for good background information on the rate of decline of his dementia….

  • Raan

    He should know about wedges, he plays enough fuckin’ golf.

    • Querolous

      I’m sure he uses the leather wedge. At 6’2″ probably a size 12 or 13.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Every Trump statement ends with “than any human being who ever lived”. Kind of like how you say “in bed” after you read your fortune cookie, and everyone laughs.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      Yeah, that’s some weird ass shit right there.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      He’s the superlativest!

    • msanthropesmr

      Except in this case, everybody cries.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      So you’ll happily host a family from there?

    • shivaskeeper

      So with Coulter and Ingram getting old she is angling for the “Blonde Racist Shithead” spot.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        One can’t leave that post unoccupied!

        • shivaskeeper

          Apparently not.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I swear Republicans are all Lizard People.

    • Nounverb911

      Why did you leave Shithole Dakota Tammy?

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      1 in the morning tweet? Gin much?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      If they are shithole countries – and not ‘shithole’ people – why isn’t Trump expressing willingness to see them emigrate here, instead of the opposite?

      Are you stupid, or evil?

      • TJ Barke

        She’s definitely both.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Well, somebody is snippy this morning. Did she miss her infusion of virgin blood?

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Sure, let’s. Let’s list every contribution that the good ole U S of A has made to making them uninhabitable, while we’re at it.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Tough conservative can’t be racist and xenophobic in public without backup from 70-year old dementia patient. Details at 11.

    • kaydenpat

      Is she aware that we have citizens of European descent in the US? Why did Trump pick out Black countries to deride as “sh*tholes”? Trump’s heritage is Scottish and German. We’re those countries sh*tholes too?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I created maybe the greatest brand.
    No you did not create Otis Spunkmeyer

  • shivaskeeper

    The rivers are vicious? They are natural barriers? Along with all the mountains on the Texas/Mexico border? Rivers?

    Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn;t one of the slurs for Mexican in this country “wetbacks”? Because they crossed the fucking rivers to get here?

    Do you think any of his supporters will notice that?

    • TJ Barke

      Who knows? He and they are just so fucking stupid.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      His supporters are too busy saying that if the countries Donnie called “shitholes” aren’t, then why do people leave there and come here.

      • SDGeoff3

        Because of course!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Vicious? Or viscous?

      • shivaskeeper

        They are only viscous during the dry season.

    • kaydenpat

      His supporters aren’t too bright. Hence, they’re his supporters.

      • shivaskeeper

        I know that. But, still. Huge complaints about how easy the rivers are to cross. Now it’ll be cool though.

        Can I at least get some internal consistency with their racism? Is that too much to ask?

  • Asterix

    Just reading the WSJ “interview” made my brain hurt. I don’t know how any sane person deals with him.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      No money laundering, YOU”RE THE MoNEY LANDING!!! most people don’t know that…

  • Blackest Noobs

    the greatest brand that only the most tacky, most uncouth would purchase…yes…such a winning “brand.”

    • cmd resistor

      I still find it particularly offensive that there is a deodorant named after Trump I happened on it while looking for something else online.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    How the fuck did the WSJ not call for the mental health authorities?

    • Raan

      Rupert Murdoch.

    • kaydenpat

      They’re Trump’s allies.

  • Nounverb911
  • TundraGrifter

    “I went to the Wharton School of Finance, did well.”

    That still isn’t completely clear. Mr. Trump always says that because, in my view, he wants to suggest he has an MBA. Nope. From what I’ve read he went to the U of Pennsylvania – but that doesn’t seem to quite have the same cachet.

    “Did well?” No proof of that has ever been presented.

    • The Wanderer

      UPenn? “Quakers stink.”

    • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Which brings up the question: Why doesn’t Obama release his college transcripts?

      • TundraGrifter

        Because he never had to brag about his college and post-graduate career. Additionally, because of the April Fool’s Hoax regarding his admission to Occidental, that so many haters took seriously, it would have just played into the hands of the racists. Like the whole birth certificate nonsense.

        • LucindathePook

          Remind me, who was it started that whole Birther movement???

          • TundraGrifter

            Sheriff Joe?

          • LucindathePook

            Knew it was somebody like that.

  • kareemachan

    “Violent rivers”?

    • TJ Barke

      Trump doesn’t really know how rivers work.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Or ever seen the Colorado or Rio Grande near the border, reduced to a pesticide-laden trickle. The only thing vicious about them is the poison content.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I guess he never saw the video of O’Keefe crossing it in a Bin Laden mask.

    • Raan

      “These rivers, you know, they’re coming into our inner cities…”

      • therblig

        they’re sending their rapids

        • TJ Barke

          They’re not sending their oxbows.

          • kareemachan

            Or their shallows.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            And some of them, I assume, are good waters.

      • Erala Contratista

        Yeah, what bunch of yazoos.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • kareemachan
      • puredog

        Fake news. This photo shows those impassable mountains.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      One of Joan’s kids?

  • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

    “Violent Rivers” is my stage name when I do drag burlesque.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Botswana asks The Fucking Moron to clarify his statement and asks if he considers their country a shithole.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTWUP4qV4AA2Hbv.jpg

    • Asterix

      So much winning. So proud to be an American.

      • Bill D. Burger

        And we have thousands of troops and tens of thousands of support personnel and visitors in the African countries that The Dotard demeaned. He puts them all at risk.

    • kaydenpat

      Trump is eventually going to get someone killed because he can’t control his inner child.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Maybe a lot of someones. Like all of us.

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      What a time it is to be alive.

      *headdesks*

    • Querolous
  • The Wanderer

    Violent Rivers, an exciting new novel by I.P. Freely.

    • kaydenpat

      I see what you did there. Lol.

      • The Wanderer

        It’s delightful being able to recycle jokes I heard way back in the Johnson Administration.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The strategery’ is set and the WH Huckabeast’ will deliver it later today:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTWPe-GU8AEShnN.jpg

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Upfist for Jeffy as Mini-me.

      • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

        That there is elfin magic.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
  • kaydenpat

    “Violent rivers”
    Things that make you go hmmm.

  • therblig

    at least he didn’t ask hope how corey was in the sack.

    • janecita

      That we know of, maybe he did while she was giving him head.

      • The Wanderer

        But she never lost her head.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Senator Durbin goes on the record and says Trump “said things which were hate-filled, vile, and racist… I’ve seen the comments in the press. I’ve not read one of them that’s inaccurate.”

    • cmd resistor

      But he’s a Dem, so lying.

      • Bill D. Burger

        The Fucking Moron later today: “Dummy Durbin is spreading lies….”

        • cmd resistor

          He could call him DickHead.

    • kaydenpat

      Good on Senator Durbin.

  • janecita

    English is my third language and I have a very sexy accent;-) My English is way better than Trump’s. I speak in complete sentences and I don’t repeat myself every two seconds. I’m not lying, I got a headache from reading this story. The stupid is strong with this man!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I can probably swear in Spanish almost as good as you.

      • janecita

        Probably, but I know all the obscure swear words from all over Latin America. My high school was a melting pot.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      I am so jealous that you can speak three languages and I can only speak one. I wish I had taken a foreign language class in school but didn’t have the good sense to do so.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I hear that sexy accent every time you non-comment. :)

    • kaydenpat

      Trump is speaking Word Salad. Only Sarah Palin can understand him without interpreters.

    • DrBigHead

      The only language other than English that I have had any formal training is French. While in Graduate school I spent an extended period of time in Southwest Asia working on projects with an international staff that spoke English, French Dutch, Turkish, Arabic, and Kurdish. At the end of that period I was fluent in no language.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I took 4 years of Latin, some Greek and Japanese. Don’t speak any of them.

      • The Wanderer

        I studied German in high school, and taught myself a smattering of Russian and Japanese. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve forgotten some of it, but can still order drinks and get my face slapped.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      first and second?

      • janecita

        Spanish and French. I’m Cuban but my maternal grandmother was French. She only spoke French to us when we were little.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Yea I can order lunch in those =P

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          No joke, about a mile down the ways from me there is a French coffee and pastry joint, run by legit French people from Paris. On the border of Paterson,NJ, no less. Haven’t been there for a while, might have to stop by now that I can drink coffee.

          • janecita

            What’s the name of the place? I have to go close to Paterson next month to see my accountant.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            I forget, its on rte 4 by the K Mart

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            If you want we can meet up, schedule permitting. No pressure.

          • janecita

            Sounds good, will let you know when I make my appointment.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB
          • janecita

            Thanks:-)

    • Peter Witting

      Melania, is that you honey? Blink once for yes….

      • janecita

        She wishes! I can actually speak English.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    As these hateful motherfuckin’ republicans continue to dig their own graves by defending that hateful orange shithole in the white house, I encourage them to continue to do so.
    Perhaps we’ll get a permanent majority beginning in 2020 and it won’t be the permanent majority the republicans are hoping for.

  • weejee

    Nous sommes tous Shitholes, maintenant

    • kaydenpat

      Cute avatar.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Is there anyone who could puncture his bubble of self-belief? Because if so, I kind of want that person to step to the plate and take their best crack at it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      We’re in serious Stockholm Syndrome territory here. Or Oslo Syndrome, given his preferred Scandinavian shithole.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Not a chance. The fucker’s 70 years old. It’s way too late for him to change.

    • georgiaburning

      Remember Gallagher and his Sledge-o-Matic? That could do the job.

  • shivaskeeper

    As for his handlers letting this fuckbonkers interview happen after the NYT fuckbonkers interview over Christmas, this just shows they have no real control over him.

    The only other option is they are trying to call in help, like blinking Morse Code in a video message.

    Since they all seem to be into for the grift, I don’t think they are blinking code to call for help, they just have no control over him.

    • kaydenpat

      I guess they thought Trump would be okay since he was tapping to a friendly media outlet. WSJ has always had his back.

      • TJ Barke

        Based on what I’ve read in Fire and Fury, Murdoch only thinks of him as a useful idiot.

        • kaydenpat

          Trump wouldn’t have known that at the time of this interview, I assume.

      • shivaskeeper

        He cannot function without a tightly controlled script. Even then, it’s dicey to let him talk because he goes off script.

        Sending him in without one to start with results in this.

      • Erala Contratista

        Editorial page, yes.

  • folderol

    We don’t need no DACA Dreamers
    We don’t need no browns at all
    The mooslims never need apply here
    Norwegians, though, can come in droves
    Hey, Ingrid! Nice to have you here!

    All in all, we need to
    buy more bricks for The Wall

    • WeaselPoo

      Good job!

  • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment
  • violent rivers…

    Yeah, just last week, the Mississippi River carjacked me at gunpoint.

    • kaydenpat

      Where was your gun to protect yourself? Tut tut.

    • Christopher Story

      You just can’t trust those brown rivers. Personally, I blame the tributaries.

    • Raan

      Must have been a big car.

    • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

      DeSoto?

  • Christopher Story

    I’m just going to leave this right here.
    I couldn’t get past the opening lines about how he knows the most about everything, including wedges. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07333566996f2a1a4687fda74902fe64849971953d88de5829d9da05b70fdaf1.jpg

    • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

      We are so incline-plane-wrapped-into-a-spiralled.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    Does this guy understand that the Wall St. Journal is a different Wall than the one he keeps getting shouty abut?

  • Bill D. Burger

    And just for the TEAlibangelicals and good Gawwd’ fearin’ MurriKKKans who love The Fucking Moron so….

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTWOvxdUMAAEak1.jpg

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Back when the Holy Spirit was on the lamb.

      • Bill D. Burger

        ….and driving a Christ-ler!

        • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

          I’d walk a mile, if I didn’t have a camel.

          • jodyleek

            If I had a camel, I’d camel in the morning, I’d camel in the evening, all over this land!

      • Meccalopolis

        lit out for the coast

    • The Wanderer

      The First of Christ, Luchador, approves of this. It is written that the Christ child came off the top turnbuckle and executed a perfect flying pin on one of the Wise Men.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I run for president, first time — first time, not three times, not six times. I ran for president first time and lo and behold, I win

    Wrong.

    • Oblios_Cap

      he forgot.

  • Chyron HR

    The important thing is that we saved the country from “neoliberals”, whatever that means.

    • TJ Barke

      Strictly speaking, they’re free market assholes that just don’t hate gays or abortions.

  • Raan

    Also, if they already have catapults for their heroin, what’s to stop them from loading up rocks and smashing your precious wall?

    I know they don’t, I just want the test wall designs to undergo trebuchet testing.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s the need to spend time, money, and resources seeing what infrastructure can be destroyed using medieval weaponry.

      • Meccalopolis

        Words to live by

  • If you have a wall this thick and it’s solid concrete from ground to 32 feet high which is a high wall

    https://www.homedepot.com/p/Werner-32-ft-Aluminum-D-Rung-Extension-Ladder-with-300-lb-Load-Capacity-Type-IA-Duty-Rating-D1532-2/203134240

    So we’ll spend a few billion dollars on a wall that can be defeated by a $300 purchase from Home Depot?

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      I’m calling my broker to tell him to buy stock in the 33 foot ladder industry.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The engineering and building a 32 foot high wall would be much more expensive then any quotes that have been published. And yes, because of the wind load, it would be more of a fence.
      Nothing but an attempt by a bunch of old white racist to try to convince themselves Murica is a gated community.

      • Yellerduck

        Are you kidding? They’re going to make it so it can be air-dropped from the F-52. Whole thing should be up in a matter of a couple of hours.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          And it will fall down in a matter of days, because that’s how Trump delivers

    • ArgieBargie

      Only a very stable genius knows that it takes 6th century technology to deal with 21st century treats.

    • The Wanderer

      Yes.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      As if there was ever a single, solitary Mexican painter, sandblaster, or other construction-trades worker.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I probably have a very good relationship with Kim Jong Un of North Korea

    Say, you know who else Donald probably has a good relationship with?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      The mole people?

      • Raan

        Are those the people who make that make that Mexican sauce?

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      The truth?!

      LOLOLOLOLOL, I kid, I kid!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Pretty much no one, TBH.

    • Bobathonic

      Jesus?

    • Raan

      I dunno, a bunch of fuckin’ Nazis?

    • janecita

      His imaginary friends. They all love him.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The needy little voices in his head?

    • PubOption

      Certainly not Melania.

    • lroom

      Hitler! It’s Hitler this time right?

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Trump: Sure, you see that a lot with me and then all of a sudden somebody’s my best friend.

    It’s called bullying. And you’re not even very good at it.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    As someone smarter than me once said, re, the Wall, and how to get over, under, through, or around it: Thank God there’s never been a Mexican ever with an appetite for hard work, access to tools, and construction experience.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      That’s hilarious! And it’s not like tunnels don’t already exist.

  • John McLaughlin

    What will Trump tell his cellmates when Mueller collects the bill?

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    So, just to paraphrase, you have a wall, and it’s taller than you expect, and because it’s made out of concrete, there are people over there that can’t see people over on the other side. And it’s going to be a wall, because he’s been saying that from day one, but it’s not going to be a wall, because there are mountains and rivers. But definitely a wall.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      You’ve got it. Now do you need to have a lie-in for a bit?

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        I’ve already noticed I typed something stupid earlier in these here non-existent comments, so I’m of the opinion that my brain is fully borked. I blame the mental stress of translating Dumbass-to-English.

      • The Wanderer

        In the immortal words of The Ramones, “I wanna be sedated.”

      • Meccalopolis

        wake me when it’s over

    • Raan

      Well.

      Clear as mother’s milk, that is.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I’m sure Trump would be shocked to learn that the liberal media isn’t the only group that dislikes him.

  • Shan

    OT: Since I posted a link to one of the incorrect “stories” about the “Shitty Media Men” spreadsheet author, I feel like I should share this explanation of the screw-up.

    http://flavorwire.com/612463/anatomy-of-a-screw-up

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    The fact that some people read transcripts of his gibberish and think that he makes sense really disturbs me. I can kind of see being in a crowd at a rally and getting all caught up in the violent, racist, misogynistic hysteria; but how can anyone read his word sounds and think “That’s some Predisential shit right there.”?

    • The Wanderer

      It’s authentic frontier gibberish!

      • TJ Barke

        Donnie’s never been on a frontier in his sheltered little life.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They don’t, at least not without rationalizing it, to convince themselves otherwise.

      • puredog

        It HAS to be rationalized, as there is certainly no rationality inherent in it. Unfortunately, the rationalizing machine just broke irretrievably.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Because, dumb.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah…it’s one thing to find yourself sieg heiling at the Nuremberg Rally, but then you go home, sober up, see a picture of yourself on the evening news, and go “oh, shit”.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        As oh, so many nazis have found out here lately. It’s all fun and games goose stepping with your buddies until somebody steps in the shit.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      They don’t. His hard-core supporters hate Washington so much that the weirder he sounds, the more they like it. They want him to just break and blow up shit, on the theory that anything that emerges from the chaos can’t be worse.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Where the wingnut fringe and Susan Sarandon come full circle and meet up.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I suspect a lot of them don’t care what emerges. They just like wrecking shit.

    • keinsignal

      Most of his supporters won’t read this. Most of his supporters won’t read anything longer than the directions on the back of a frozen pizza.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah! And the last time I had a frozen pizza, most of the microwave directions were in pictographs.

      • Yellerduck

        (Moving lips): “Remove pizza from box and wrapper.” Wow! Never thought of that!

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Surely you jest. Reading is for Coastal Elite Libtards. They all think they’re Hillbilly Survivor Man as long as they’re staggering distance from a Toot n’ Totum market

    • Hobbes’ like, smart Evil Twin

      Yes. Sadly, the ‘shithole’ comment will only endear him more to his fucking deplorable supporters.

    • Meccalopolis

      prezintin’ the fuck out that mofucka, yo

    • YoBunnyBunny

      My wingnut friend was just this past weekend INSISTING that Trump really was smart and not some dementia nut like the libtard media portrays him to be.

      A lot of his rationalization was “Well, he’s a billionaire, he HAS to be smart” and basically a metric fuckton of ASSUMPTIONS about what TRUMP is really saying or thinking. He literally insisted that Trump–He, Who Tells It Like It Is–doesn’t really mean the things he’s saying on Twitter–that’s just to rile up the libtards. He said Trump really believes this and Trump believes that, but somehow he couldn’t come up with any real life instances when Trump actually said he believed those things in his own words.

      Basically, they just have FAITH that Trump is a Presidential Smart Person. No evidence required. All available evidence to the contrary can be dismissed because FAKE NEWS.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Yeah, but even some of his defenders are starting to just phone it in. A “Born-Again” friend has gone from “He’s a smart billionaire” to “he’s a crook, and OK, probably a traitor, too, but they’re all crooks in DC, and besides, only Dog Almighty can judge a man!”

        He’s former LAPD, so I asked him if he would take the cuffs off a backseat passenger if he laid the “Only Dog can judge me” card face up.

        Silence

        Conclusion: his soft support is melting faster than a 4th of July Snow Cone in Phoenix

  • Paperless Tiger

    Looks like another WSJ friendly-fire incident.

    • puredog

      Well, at LEAST there were some lame attempts at followup (“This utterly batshit thing you’ve just said you can give twenty examples of — howzabout one?”).

  • Jenny

    Those rivers. Boy. Sure glad no one ever figured out how to cross them.

    I mean, those amorous, pesky, spaniards would have figured out how to spread their DNA all over the world, by now. Just imagine a world populated by attractive hispanic people!

    • Robyn Ryan

      Mexicans are native Americans

      • Jenny

        Some. Most died from disease and brutality from the conquistadors. My grandparents were born in Sinaloa, Mexico.

        However, my DNA is 40% Spain originating. The rest is German from my mother’s side and my Hispanic grandmother who had some german relatives too.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Great, now I have images of hot Brazilians in my head. On second thought, that’s not so bad.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • TJ Barke

      So violent. So deadly.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Cows walk across it. But yes. Very violent and vicious.

        • PubOption

          James O’Keeffe even ‘walked across it’.

        • ImGoingBacon

          scorpions and frogs, also too.

      • WeaselPoo

        And wet. The wettest, believe me.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          People don’t know this about rivers.

      • Jenny

        Much alligators.

        (There are alligators, but surprise most alligators don’t give a fucks about people. Very bad guards of borders. Would not use again.)

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Wasn’t ‘Rio Vicious’ a John Wayne film? Dean Martin and Walter Brennan were in it too.

      • Erala Contratista

        Andy Devine also, too?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Republicans (one and all) have formulated their response to The Fucking Moron’s remarks on shithole countries…..It begins….

    “I’m not going to get into that….”

    lmao…..Fucking snowflake cowardly cucks.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You go 32 feet up and you don’t know who’s over here. You’re here, you’ve got the wall and there’s some other people here.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93f1b67132de7b5c742468f820bb2bf2bdf00dbc1d5e52dd4c52f37c8a4286a3.jpg

    • WeaselPoo

      Isn’t that his college thesis?

  • TexasDumb

    “I’m smart. Not like everybody says, like dumb. I’m smart!”

    “I don’t want anything to happen to Fredo while my Mother’s alive.”

    “Um, can I kill her?”

    “Yeah, go ahead. Take the cannoli.”

  • WeaselPoo

    What this shithole country needs right now is for the cast and crew of Now You See Me 2, to infiltrate Mar A Lago or Bedminter on Trump’s next visit and via craftu shenanigans (fake terrorist attack/assassination plot?) whisk him away to a perfect replica of the White House actially located on Patagonia—and leave him thereto babble on about walls and elections and F-52s.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Basically a remake of the Truman Show

  • KevinShinn

    Maybe Shitgibbon meant to say, “viscous rivers”? Like, because of all the oil, you know, from the wetbacks? No–no, I suppose not. But maybe.

    • ImGoingBacon

      there is a joke about how everything is big in Texas, until someone looks at the Rio Grande, and asks, who’s radiator is leaking?

  • TJ Barke

    He’s like a dumb middle schooler.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I was thinking more like third grader, but I’ll allow it.

  • Shithole_Normegian_MΩment

    Remember, folks, if it’s a legitimate assclown, the body politic has ways to try to shut the whole thing down.

  • george lastrapes

    I think he’s setting up an insanity defense— he’d be crazy not to.

    • Jenny

      His ego truly believes he’s the greatest. I don’t seem him ever using that defense.

      • Hobbes’ like, smart Evil Twin

        But if he could be the craziest of all crazies to ever have crazied maybe that would be the consolation prize?

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Joan Rivers libel.

    • williams517

      River Phoenix libel also too.

    • The Wanderer

      “Can we talk?”

      • Arolpin

        I can talk, but I think you’re still dead, Joan.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Sid Vicious libel.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    He says what’s on his mind!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • TJ Barke

        He somehow manages to say a lot of things and yet not say anything.

      • cheetojeebus

        Who ever did that portrait does nice work. Well done brushwork and chiaroscuro.

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          Bonus up fist for chiaroscuro.

          • Meccalopolis

            I gotcha, bro

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Not gonna google “upfist chiaroscuro, no way”

            Those pop-up ads barge in when you’re showing cat pics to darling daughter

    • jodyleek

      His mind is a smelly lump of feces. Flies lay their eggs in it and maggots slither within in and slurp the slimy, fetid slurry. The noxious fumes, the swarming insects and the sight of this contagion-filled mass are repellent. So, yes, you are correct.

      • The Wanderer

        You paint a very compelling image. You truly have the best words.
        And I feel like having lunch.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      And since he has so little up there, he has to keep repeating it.

    • janecita

      Let Trump be Trump!

      • The Wanderer

        He’s the trumpiest Trump that ever trumped!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Just when I think that Assmouth cannot possibly appear any stupider, he outdoes my expectations. Holy fuck I hope we as a country survive this.

  • Blackest Noobs

    yet the man still drinks water from a plastic bottle with BOTH OF HIS BIGLY HANDS.

    • Blackest Noobs

      i love one of the excuses for the way Trump drank water was because he didn’t want to get any of it on his suit…IT’S FUCKING WATER!!!!! WATER!!!!! WATER DOESN’T STAIN YOUR CHEAP POORLY FITTING SUITS!!!!!

      • Yellerduck

        Mommy always said to use both hands. He never stopped to ask why.

  • Asterix

    I wonder if the public signing of the MLK Day proclamation will still take place…

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…stolen from DU.
    “5 dogs, 1 cat, 1 bed, 7 degrees outside…guess who gets the bed?”

    https://i.imgur.com/aWKZjiI.jpg

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      This is as it should be.

    • Blackest Noobs

      who is boss? PUSSY IS BOSS.

      • Blackest Noobs

        and given how the pussy cat has her/his belly exposed, means she/he is sooooo sure and comfortable that none of the dogs would dare….wouldn’t dare to push her/him off their throne!!!!

        • Yellerduck

          The pointy end is up.

      • therblig

        who run barkertown?

    • TJ Barke

      They just have no use for bourgeois frivolities.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Hats off! We have one Doberman in the house and a Tuxedo mouser in the stables (who rules with an iron paw), and it’s a handfull just to keep up those two spoiled fellas’.

    • La forza del resistino

      cats rule, dogs just suffer in quiet indignation.

    • Vel Venturi

      That is one smug cat. Clearly trolling the dogs.

    • Meccalopolis

      The 5th dog is taking the picture

  • Bill D. Burger
    • janecita

      Fake News! He would never let a black doctor examine him!

      • Bill D. Burger

        They told him it was Omarosa.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        And a female doctor who may be bleeding from her where evers.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      I see they also blew the dust out.

    • jodyleek

      There should be a shadow of a swastika within the light on the wall.

    • The Wanderer

      “Wow . . . ”
      “What is it, Doctor?”
      “It’s kind of hard to describe. It looks like . . . a little Nativity scene.”

      • Bill D. Burger

        …definitely an ass and a lot of shit in there! “

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Belasaurius

      please record them, it worked so well for Nixon

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        It shouldn’t be a problem if they’re not secret recordings and you don’t lie about them to a grand jury, and you don’t erase the parts of them that implicate you.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      I think recording future meetings is a terrific idea.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      “Wonderful relationship.”

      AKA, molestation.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Can he beat the record for [Expletive Deleted]s set by a previous President on his recordings?

    • La forza del resistino

      as he tells the staff to dispose of that Duvalier autographed picture.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yes, you probably should. Which is exactly why you won’t.

    • yyyaz

      Not a chance he wrote that, but nice try, Mr. Miller.

    • Opiwan

      ‘Derogatory’ is about 3 syllables too long to be a word in his vocabulary of all the best words, the best, all of them, words. Best.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    About that wall, I think this is a story that’s not getting nearly enough press:
    https://twitter.com/JamilSmith/status/950771390461894657

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      That is THE republican’t play book. Create a problem by cutting funding, then say the government can’t do anything right, and cut funding even more.

      • TJ Barke

        Then sell shit off to vulture capitalists.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • rosenbomb

    Traveling internationally as an American has always carried with it a certain sense of shame about Americanness (at least since Bush, IMO). Except when the Parisian cab driver lectured me about not speaking French, when I requested the metro stop in the correct way, and attempted an accent, goddammit. Fuck that guy.

    But anyway, I am due to go out of the country this summer and I am dreading my association with dotard.

    • TJ Barke

      Just wear an American flag upside down.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It’s a shame we Europeans got wise to UnitedStatsians pretending to be Canadian.

        • TJ Barke

          I don’t know what you’re talking aboot.

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          Eh?

          • TJ Barke

            Wanna head by a Tim Horton’s, hosehead?

        • rosenbomb

          the idea of doing that has never sat well with me.

          • Bananas Foster

            It’s better to just be a good example of an American.

          • rosenbomb

            agreed.

    • TundraGrifter

      Just pretend to be Canadian like everyone else does.

      • gnomemansanisland

        I did that in 2006 because of Bush. It works.

        • TundraGrifter

          Eh? Do you have change for a Twonee?

    • Bananas Foster

      I have traveled extensively internationally and actually never encountered a single awkward moment. I lived in France during the W administration.

      It helps that I never mention being from the US unless asked.

      I find that people may want to talk about US politics etc, but they don’t blame me personally for them or treat me badly because of them.

      • rosenbomb

        I actually haven’t had any awkward experiences, either. I went to Mexico twice last year and both times I have experienced nothing but kindness from locals

      • The Wanderer

        I was approached by an Australian couple when I was in Munich. “You’re an American, aren’t you?”
        “Yes,” I replied, adding, “unfortunately.” This was 2006.
        They were generally sympathetic.

      • Crank Tango

        I lived in France right at the start of the Iraq war, and I was pleasantly surprised that even the dude working the sandwich shop was able to make a distinction between Bush and Clinton. I got no shit from anybody, if anything, surprise and possibly a Freedom Fries joke.

    • cheetojeebus

      My one similar experience, Late at night raining terribly, came out of the Metro was a little disoriented about which direction the University was, So I asked an approaching young man. His response was “fascist” very bluntly and didn’t miss a beat walking on. This was during the Reagan era so I get it.

    • gnomemansanisland

      I was in Europe last summer and people were only perplexed by our president. Now I can imagine the perplexity has increased and perhaps is morphing into hostility. I think if you make clear that you disdain shithole in chief and explain that our odd Electoral College placed him in the office – I know that’s a hard one to explain – you may get more sympathy than hostility.

      • Bananas Foster

        People also tend to assume that Americans who travel internationally are not Trump’s base.

        • Teecha

          Yep. The fact you’re out the country makes me think you’ve got something about you.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          Charles Pierce on an Iowan Rethuglican Caucus:

          “2000 attendees, 4 Asians, 2 passports, and 1 gym membership”

    • Teecha

      You have my sympathy. I was in France and Germany after Brexit and I went equipped with the translations of ‘I voted remain’
      Had some really interesting conversations, especially in France.

      Most people make the distinction between you the person and the state of your country.

  • Ellie

    Where are these “vicious rivers” that nobody goes near? Inquiring minds want to know.

    • gnomemansanisland

      Vicious Rivers is Johnny Rivers punk rocker son.

      I should add that he was brought up on the poor side of town.

      • ImGoingBacon

        Melissa Rivers on line 1

    • TundraGrifter

      That’s the coach of the LA Clippers after a disappointing loss.

    • Raan

      It’s the love child of Joan Rivers and Sid Vicious.

    • Iron Monkey

      She died during a surgical procedure. RIP.

    • Mike Minden

      Sleeping in their beds, dreaming of the day they will come for us.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      The vicious rivers are right next to those savage, obnoxious mountains.

  • azeyote

    me thimks there was a typo about Korea – it’s spelled “wedgies”

  • …need…moar…Fiona…

  • C4TWOMAN

    O/T : Anyone heard of the Anti Trump is being Anti-progressive meme wandering around?

    https://medium.com/@caityjohnstone/anti-trumpism-is-anti-progressivism-in-disguise-9e688e6152e9

    I’m noting it because I feel shades of when Libertarians jumped on Anti-Bush sentiment and tried to leverage the situation politically for Ron Paul and all sorts of other conspiracy bullshit a la ‘Democrats and Republicans are the same so trust no one/vote third party’.

    I’m having trouble believing that kind of gambit will go anywhere in our current climate, but considering the situation we’re in, I’m looking out for flying pigs….

    • TJ Barke

      That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

      • C4TWOMAN

        IKR? But if you come from a conspiracy ridden “anarchist” subculture, it can make a twisted sort of sense. They also too tend to think Clinton is EVIL INCARNATE. This is the passage that got me:
        but as long as the cult of anti-Trumpism, impeachment and Russiagate

        I was going to tell the writer they were confused and naive, and perhaps ask them why they think Russiagate isn’t real. But when I tried to comment, they require you to be logged in to Faceplant or Google, AND turn off ad blocker, blocking cookies and all the things I do to secure my browser.

        Yeah, uh…nope.

        • TJ Barke

          I come from conspiracy ridden anarchist subculture, and it’s still the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Clearly you didn’t stick around long enough…

    • Mike Minden

      So supporting Trump will advance the progressive agenda? If she believes that, she needs to be on medication. If she doesn’t believe that, her entire article is horse dung.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Ignore her ridiculous thesis and look at her supporting reasons, and they’re all typical right libertarian talking points. Her main page is more obvious:
        https://medium.com/@caityjohnstone

        Dems support surveillance
        rescue Assange
        distrust intelligence agencies, no matter the context
        TLDR be paranoid, trust no one.

        I still can’t figure out if she a grifter trolling for pigeons or if she believes this tripe.

    • Meccalopolis

      That was about as stupefying as the t rump interview I just read

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Another Russian troll wanna be. ‘Hey, look – I made words on the internet! Me! me! me!’.

  • Bright Bart

    We know you’re all just amateurs up there, but COME ON! LORDY! THEY SHOULD JUST LET HIM WATCH TELEVISION IN HIS BATHROBE ALL DAY!
    Read more at https://wonkette.com/628200/trump-disproves-dementia-concerns-by-shouting-wall-at-wsj-reporter-for-three-straight-hours#ehmrTij3CBT2dd5b.99

    Lordy I don’t want to see those tapes. Not sharing in any executive time hijinxs thanks very much.

  • La forza del resistino

    Thanks for the effort WSJ. You could of just said We’re all Fucked in the 1st sentence.

  • cheetojeebus

    He’s huffing paint right? They need to find out who’s running down to the wallmart to get his lacquer and shut that down.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Build a contiguous WalMart. Two birds, one stone.

  • NotReallyHere
  • gnomemansanisland

    We aren’t sending our best.

  • Meccalopolis

    Could he be trying to get himself removed on 25th Amendment grounds? He sounds completely insane. A mental health diagnosis would protect him from charges.

    • The Wanderer

      A ruling of non compos mentis might work, at that. He skips out of the White House, laughing gaily.

      • Raan

        If it’s any consolation, he’s destroyed the Trump brand for generations to come.

    • TJ Barke

      I’d say that it’s not impossible.

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t think he’s that smart.

      • Meccalopolis

        Yeah, prolly not. Just batshit crazy, then.

    • Mr. White

      Except the 25th requires the cabinet to turn on him. That ain’t gonna happen.

  • Crank Tango

    “[outrageous lie], people don’t know that.”

    I’m going to start working that into everyday conversation.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Listen baby, ain’t no mountain high
    Ain’t no valley low, ain’t no river wide enough baby”

    However, it’s true that mountains and rivers probably are more effective barriers than long empty walls in a constant state of disrepair.

  • New and Improved Say Wha
    • Opiwan

      OBJECTION: Assumes hamster not in evidence…

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Yeah, I’d picture more of a dead hamster flopping in it, and the wheel being somehow powered by a propane tank full of farts

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I just saw Bill Kristol quoting Marx and agreeing. WTF is going on there right now?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Groucho, or Karl?

    • dshwa

      I agreed with him about something the other day. It’s starting to get unnerving…

  • Johnatx

    Jesus. We are so fucked. We gotta take back Congress and get him out of office. I know Pence is bad and evil, but just Fuckfuckfuck

  • Bill Diaz

    First, let me establish my bona fides before I say mean things. I am a Wonkette also too and come here a lot (although I am a poor who shamefully admits he does not contribute to long term care of Wonkette babby). But this is the first time I am going to have to take Donald Trump over a Wonketteer, and I am not A IDIOT.

    “There is no deal that I can make on NAFTA that’s as good as if I terminate NAFTA and make a new deal”

    This is the statement of contention and act as if this cannot be understood and does not make sense. It is horrible, it is clumsy and certainly not indicative of someone fluent in English or without dementia. What he said makes sense and so I will explain.

    What the statement potentially means is that there is no deal he can make within the existing NAFTA agreement that he cant exceed by starting ‘clean sheet’. There might even be a possibility that the statement is even true, it MIGHT be possible to completely scrap NAFTA effective 2020, with the intervening time to create an entirely new trade accord, crafted by the finest economic minds (I dont view trade or migration as ‘zero sum’ engagements) in the hemisphere. He didnt actually SAY the dumb words like I had to, but there is no logical difference between his statement and my larger more nebulous one.

    I dont think Trump is the one to do it, dont think he will and honestly dont think he can. His racism, stupidity, pride and constituency would prevent the needed agreement to be made. But it is disingenuous to suggest that the Trump sentence cant be understood and we cant afford to make mistakes and hand him a victory for ‘being a victim of fake media’ or whatever the hell he says.

    If you have forced migrations of people because of war/famine/climate change related catastrophe, your laws and agreements have to reflect that or you potentially create ‘Mad Max style chaos, complete with guns, vehicles and gruesome death (slavery, murder, kidnapping and the big one, rape).

    It can be understood and even believed, but not from the Trumpanzee.

    Have a great day!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, I suppose. And one can play that game all day long – you can take any piece of garbled thought-adjacent word salad Trump spouts and suss out his basic intention. But you realize how low the bar is being set here? And it is getting lower! The press and public should not have to play Oracle of Delphi every time this idiot mumbles some contradictory bullshit. It’s insulting and just plain wrong.

      • marxalot

        It’s the dementia-version end state of the same conman sales act he’s always done: talk big and vague, and let the punters come up with the details.

        • Bill Diaz

          But it isnt the experts he is letting have free reign, it is the most virulent, greedy and evil portion of our society’s id he is putting to work.

          Have a great day!

      • puredog

        And also too, since — as you concede — “I dont think Trump is the one to do it, dont think he will and honestly dont think he can,” then his actual meaning is sort of beside the point. More to the point is: does the NAFTA agreement as presently constituted do a better job than anything Trumpie would be likely to substitute for it? Despite my near-complete incompetence to evaluate that economic question, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say “yes.”

        • Bill Diaz

          Trump screws up everything he touches, his continued tenure in office is a threat to all.

          Have a great day!

      • Bill Diaz

        Dude, the sentence makes sense. It is a piss poor sentence and shouldnt have ever seen the light of day, but the meaning behind the sentence is discernible and potentially logical.

        Acting otherwise gives Trump the ability to claim victimhood.

        Have a great day!

      • birdbrain53

        Maybe he is an expert because he analyzed Sarah Salad Spinner Palin’s words in the past.

    • Kurt Weil

      I once assigned a class a 350 word response paper on an essay. A student sent me a 1500 word email explaining that in her high school AP class they did all sorts of things that were far better than what we were doing. I pointed out that she had written quite a bit more than the assignment required and that this was just a simple exercise to get people to do the reading.

      Trump is out of his mind. Don’t get caught up in his nonsense.

    • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

      So your contention is, every time we say we can’t understand Trump, even for comic effect, we are playing into his “fake news victim” worldview?

      I think we are stuck with that worldview, no matter how clearly or not he speaks

  • marxalot

    On the one hand, what kind of reporter just lets this stuff sail by; on the other hand, blink twice if the terrifying steamroller liar nonsense man is holding you hostage. Whoever the stenographer was on this must have felt like they were on the worst blind date ever, with no rescue in sight.

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    Jesus fucking Christ. I couldn’t even get through the first question before I had to stop and call my congressmen and both senators to tell them the president* has lost his damn mind to dementia and that they need to DO SOMETHING.

  • BadKitty904

    Personally, I think the WSJ deserves this. They helped create this nightmare.

    • gnomemansanisland

      This is the exact same interview the NYTimes gives shithole for brains. At some point someone is going to have to just tell him to his face he is an embarrassment and get thrown out of the office. That would be a cool interview.

      • BadKitty904

        At some point someone is going to have to just state that he’s obviously mentally incapable and must be removed from office.

  • marxalot

    Wait, were these other people he keeps talking to– Hope, Sarah, Corey– were they actually there? Or is he just, uh, are they not in the room?

    • gnomemansanisland

      I think Hope was definitely there. She hangs out to monitor the interviews. She was with him when the TImes interviewed him and he went off the rails a while back.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        She was there to make sure his pants are always freshly steamed.

      • NellCote71

        And that worked out so well.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      And who was David? And, doesn’t Corey work for CNN? Does he still hang out in the White House?

  • Aside from which, hes run for President TWICE before. Just not on a major party ticket.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Nuh uh! He wasn’t really trying to win those times, so it doesn’t count. NEENER NEENER I’M ALWAYS RIGHT

  • SCK

    What a shithole presidency. Can’t wait for the midterms, which are not coming soon enough. I really hope he doesn’t get impeached in the meanwhile, in fact all the way through 2020, so we can keep having this rambling shitshow as a political tool.

  • Teecha

    For my bachelor’s degree dissertation. I used discourse analysis as my method of investigation. I typed out 5 hour long interviews, recording exactly what was said, with notations for pauses (including their lengths). It took a good few hours to do so. It’s amazing how much people pause, stutter, repeat, and interrupt themselves.

    But the transcripts which come from interviews with this man are incomparable. I can’t wait to read the ones from the criminal cases.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I assume that words “Stumm, Stumm. The clock. The Chinese clock” will turn up in any honest transcript.

      • Teecha

        It certainly did in my research into attitudes to depression in the medical profession.
        And undoubtedly will eventually in an interview with the presdinet.

  • Mavenmaven

    “And I know more about wedgies than any human being that’s ever lived” He doesn’t usually like to talk about his bad high school experiences, but clearly he deserved them.

  • Rick Hill

    Sorry. I can’t read more than a paragraph of his ramblings before sections of my brain start shutting down and I hear a warning “Danger: Critical functions in danger of shutting down. Disengage from current activities and restore inactive sections by impacting the cranium with a hard object. Warning….”

  • Blackest Noobs

    today is a two hotdogs with the works kinda day. if i wasn’t working, some beers too.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    My sister’s boyfriend claims to be from Chico, CA. I knew he was lying. How would he ever get to LA when Chico is surrounded by mountains?

    • ziggywiggy

      …and the Man.

  • ContextIsKey

    Why doesn’t my Norton antivirus warn me whenever I load a web page with Trump’s crazy ranting in it? I’d say that’s a missing feature. C’mon Norton devs, help a guy out here.

  • Doug Langley

    “. . . shouting wall for three hours . . .” Well, what else do you imagine the Wall Street Journal would love to hear about?

  • There’s a big river on the Texas/Mexico border. People don’t know that.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      And it’s vicious I tells ya. So don’t piss it off.

      • Mr. White

        It gets all stabby if you get too close.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        James O’Keefe nearly drownded in it. Or on the mountain. Whatever.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Reading this actually gave me chills and a sick stomach. I rarely have a guttural reaction to written words, but this is scaring the absolute shit out of me.

    • ziggywiggy

      It made me dizzy, I’d read a bit then shake it off. How can anyone read what he says and not see that there is SOMETHING wrong with him(actually a lot of things but his word salads are probably medical).

  • WotsAllThisThen
  • dshwa

    “There’s a difference between DACA and the dreamers.”

    BRB, have to finish banging my head against the wall (no, not that wall) until the pain stops.

  • Gosh, that like *totally* convinces me that Trump is a stable genius, the most stabliest geniusy Presidencey President evah. We are in good hands. Awesomely good hands who would never fuck anybody over just because they’re not white, or are Democrats or other voting “illegally” against him, in the sense that they’re not white or are Democrats.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    In lieu of a wall, he ordered the EPA to make sure we have more viscous rivers.

    • Me not sure

      The Jell-o Grande?

  • Rags

    I weep for our country. Daily.

    • LiberalANDProud

      I’ve long passed weeping. I’ve moved on to uncontrolled anger.

      • Tetman Callis

        I’m still at controlled anger. I’ll see if I can catch up.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Sometimes when I feel like celebrating – for whatever reason – I have a few cocktails while the sun is still shining. Literally and figuratively.

    Sometimes when I am depressed or disgusted or enraged about something, I might do the same thing.

    Today is one of the latter, and not the former.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I hit the bong early today. It’s one of those days and I don’t have to be anywhere and got no $$ to go there.

    • AJ Milne

      Lately, my regular bartenders been getting to know which it is.

      Not saying it’s a _good_ thing, entirely.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, now he’s a great athlete? What next? He has a secret double life where he goes around fighting crime?

  • NastyBossetti

    He knows more about… wedges… than any human being… that’s ever lived?
    I don’t even know why a person would make a claim like that. It’s just utter nonsense. (I know, just like every other thing he says.)

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      it’s fucking nuts right? Although…he’s known to pit members of his various staffs against each other, sooooo …nah, it’s just crazy.

      • NastyBossetti

        He probably doesn’t even know that a wedge is a simple machine.

        • theCryptofishist

          Given the sort of shit stain he is, it’s probably a reference to how he bullied other children in school.

    • Blanche de Shambles
      • TakingAmes

        That’s what I was thinking when I read that bit.

  • Tetman Callis

    Yep. Batshit crazy. Successfully batshit crazy. Bone spurs of the brain.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Assumes facts not in evidence.

      • Tetman Callis

        Yes. He does that. Repeatedly.

  • NastyBossetti

    But what does his very stable genius brain think the difference is between “Dreamers” and “DACA?” I mean, aside from the fact that, yes, they are indeed 2 different words?

    • Cincinnatus

      Having done the google for “difference between “Dreamers and DACA,” there is some semantics, and the language and meaning have blended to many. But “technically” there seems to be a justifiable separation in terms (i.e., Dreamers are to failed DREAM Act, but are included, in the main in the DACA, executive order). As someone posted in a blog, saying DACAers is awkward. Not that I want to in any way suggest there is a “big difference” in terms.

      • NastyBossetti

        Thanks!

  • Fran Walker

    DACA v. Dreamer reminds me of his slice of the electorate that thought ACA was not Obamacare…

    • theCryptofishist

      Services can have only one client, and things can have only one name. See how simple that is?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “But there’s a big difference between DACA and Dreamers.”

    I suspect this is him trying to be poetic or philosophical or whatever – but it’s possible he doesn’t know DICK about this topic.

    • Bebecca

      And didn’t he say something about wanting American dreamers?

  • SweetDeeKat

    I do mental commitments for the county, and this shit is terrifying me.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Time to throw a net over him?

      (old family saying when someone starts talking stupid shit)

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Where do I sign up? It’s gotta be safer in there than it is out here.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Obviously nobody’s told McFuckstain that Mexico has already cut huge deals with Argentina and other SA countries for the agricultural products in the NAFTA agreement. Mexico is pretty much done dancing to Asshole’s tweets. They’re shutting up and taking their trade to other countries.

    American farmers now know this. Plus, it’s on top of labor problems as those dirty messicans who worked their farms for a pittance take their marbles and go home. Many of those ‘illegals’ are sending most of their Ameros back home to their families and they weren’t planning on staying here forever anyway.

  • capnkrunch

    I would say he talks like a 5-year-old but that seems insulting to children.

    • ziggywiggy

      I babysit a 6 yr old and he is much easier to understand. The 6 year old even knows that trump is a big mean dummy.

    • TakingAmes

      I have a four-year-old that doesn’t repeat himself this much.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “I went to the — I went to the Wharton School of Finance, did well. ”

    i saw a piece or some tweets yesterday, maybe Eichenwald, saying “I went to Wharton” is misleading, but I think this may be a flat out lie.

    (I didn’t sleep well and I haven’t had massive amounts of caffeine yet).

    • RandomNameAllocated

      and didn’t he come something like 140th out of 150 students…?

      Personally I’m just glad he’s cleared up the fact that I’m not President of the United States. I was worried there for a bit. Although if you’d like a middle aged English woman with a career in book production, I’ll give it a go!

      • Bad Tom

        You’d be a better choice. I’m certain of it. No snark!
        For one thing, you seem the sort to take advice.
        Already, that’s a step up.

        • RandomNameAllocated

          😊
          Well I’ve got some holiday coming up….

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        I’m onboard with this. Why don’t you do a Michael Wolff, and go sort of hang around inside the White House, and see if maybe you can just sort of President here and there as needed. Pretty soon, they probably won’t even go looking for that other guy.

        Besides, you can’t possibly do any worse!

        • theCryptofishist

          We could scrap D.C. lowest homeless off the pavement, pour him into the White House, and do a heck of a lot better than Donnie. Middle aged English woman something book production… Yeah she should try.

    • NastyBossetti

      What he says is kind of misleading, because Wharton is known for its MBA, and he does not have a graduate degree. He transferred in to Penn when he was a junior (from Fordham), and he completed a bachelors degree in like… economics or something like that? He doesn’t appear to have graduated with any honors. Penn is an ivy league school so presumably its curriculum was pretty rigorous, and I seriously doubt he did very well there.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        wow – that was exactly what I was referring too. (And it was economics).

        Also too – Trump to claimed he was top of his class, but he never made dean’s list. (At my community college, dean’s list is 3.5GPA or higher. )

        • clairence

          have you not been paying attention? He was top of his class because he’s Donald Trump, probably the toppest of all classes anywhere in history.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Well, I’m glad he has finally made the pivot to Presidential total batshit insanity.

  • toughsister

    I read this morning a very sober and professional assessment by Dr. Sanjay Gupta, a respected neurosurgeon, author and award-winning medical reporter, about what constitutes (clinically) mental illness. He does not dismiss out of hand Trump as being mentally ill, but his exposé of what kind of diagnosis it takes to establish clinical mental illness shows that going this route entails highly complex and multiple tests and lengthy questionnaires, lasting for hours and covering many issues. He emphasized the close relationship that exists between neurosurgeons and psychiatrists in clinical cases in order to make a proper diagnosis.
    Mere observation of TV appearances and tweets, he says, is worthless in establishing a medically valid diagnosis. Sure, it would be great if Trump could be summarily diagnosed as mentally ill and incapable of carrying out the duties of the presidency, but that is not going to happen, at least for now.

    • James

      Not a big fan of TV doctor Gupta.

      As for assessing the mental health of a person, a neurologist is not the person to do that . . . numerous psychiatrists have noted there is ample public evidence of Trump’s radio and TV appearances to call for an examination.

      • TakingAmes

        That’s a really good point. Neurologists are not trained to deal with psychological issues. They can manage brain chemistry, but otherwise aren’t qualified to diagnose.

        • Petunia Cat

          He’s not a neurologist! Otherwise your point is very good. He’s a fucking neurosurgeon. A plumber. Nobody in medicine thinks a neurosurgeon can even fucking read. That is slightly hyperbolic. Also neurologists and neurosurgeons have nothing to do with brain chemistry.

    • Jonny On Maui

      With all deference to our learned doctors it doesn’t take a PHD to observe Trump and know he’s loony tunes.

      • Bitter Scribe

        It’s hard to say when you stop being just an asshole and cross over into actual mental illness. There’s no bright line.

        Stupidity, OTOH, is fairly obvious.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      In terms of getting the syndromes down and charting a course of treatment, maybe, but it’s obvious something is wrong.

    • Petunia Cat

      Why is Gupta talking about mental illness? He doesn’t know anything the fuck about that, he’s a neurosurgeon. The only neurosurgical mental illness thing that ever existed was the lobotomy. 😖😖😖😖

      Besides Trump has all kinds of signs of dementia. The way he uses language is something that occurs in aphasia. Not just people with dementia, but people with any kind of damage to their brain can have aphasia. And maybe you have to actually have memory impairments yourself to see it but he’s losing his train of thought. That’s why his speech is disjointed. That’s why he repeats things. He’s suddenly remembering them again. And isn’t aware that he’s already said that. Five times. There was a thread on Twitter that I don’t have now where a bunch of people were chiming in on an article, talking about when their relative had Alzheimer’s. Very informative stuff. Including that you can only make a definitive diagnosis of dementia and on autopsy. But people with neurological impairments get their car keys taken away from them, other restrictions or help given to them without actually having the autopsy yet!

      Another press conference fantasy: a reporter asks Trump to repeat back a short sentence they say word for word, and he couldn’t do it. He would substitute synonyms. And not be able to help it. Dementia.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Did anyone actually watch The Apprentice? It always seemed like a low budget place holder to me. I assumed Trump was paying to have it air like one of those paid advertisement shows.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      It was moderately popular during its first season, but the ratings fell steadily and rather fast – in the last season of the original format, it was rated at something like 110th.

      • Sakonyachen

        They changed it to Celebrity Apprentice, which was special. As Seth Meyers once stated about the show, “Apparently, we’ve reached the point in our lexicon where celebrity means mammal.”

    • javadavis

      I think I saw a few ads for it. Bottom line, it was a product of Trump being the first Kardashian – you know, famous for being famous. Also, an asshole.

    • greyXstar

      Of course it was paid advertising. It was a Trump product! I will never forget the episode where he made the poor saps come up with marketing campaigns for Trump Ice bottled water. Giant gold Ts and his dumb, gormless face all over the label. Best tasting, cleanest water you’ll ever find!

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    “violent rivers”, “vicious rivers”…

    Oh shit, he’s fearmongering about rivers now. Y’all better bottle up, the War on Water’s coming.

    • Mr. White

      It’s Obama’s fault that the rivers have gotten so bad.

      • Bad Tom

        Nasty rivers have white water rushing down their whatevers.

        • Mr. White

          Pffft, at least the water is WHITE!

        • Bad Tom

          (Rapids. We call them rapids.)

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Before Obama, you never even HEARD of violent, vicious rivers. Now, they’re all flowing into the oceans, which is full of salt! You can’t drink salt water. Not many people know that. You’d think the liberals would be trying to stop that kind of pollution, but no! Obama never wanted anyone to stop any rivers, which has been very bad for Americans, many people will tell you.

        • theCryptofishist

          Actually, in California at least, he wants to stop all water from flowing out to the ocean, and keep if for farming. Of course, if no one reminds him that California exists, it’s probably for the best.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Whitewater good, Blackwater bad

    • walter_the_farting_dog

      Moar guns! We’ll shoot those rivers into submission.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        What do you think Sean and Rick had that .50 Cal. for on their Rio Grande tour?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      He probably just saw the Shape of Water. Or maybe he caught Bruce Lee talking about it.

    • clairence

      It’s only the Mexican side of the river that’s violent. The ‘law and order’ president has tamed the US side.

    • Petunia Cat

      PARAPHASIAS! Maybe we could have Neuro Impairment Bingo. 🤔 paraphasias are times when a person who has neurological impairments, including me so no fucking brain damage jokes, uses a similar or related word instead of the word they mean to use. Somebody in a support group meeting I was in said “we don’t want to put all our grapes in one basket“. Trumps paraphasia is he said “vicious“ when he meant to say “violent“.

  • Mr. White

    Has anyone visited the WSJ site to see what the tone of the comments are over there?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Probably slightly smarter than Breitbart’s.

  • SisterArtemis

    Not for the first time, I’m aghast at the difference between THIS word salad/brain salad/ooze escaping the gaping pie-hole of #45, and the quiet and nuanced speech of our last President. The pendulum swings, and swings widely. It’s hard to wait for it to swing back this direction, but I’ve got to hope it will.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I keep thinking the same thing, but Republicans are putting a lot of effort in to making sure this isn’t a representative democracy.

      I keep hoping they get slaughtered in the midterms, and then Pussgrab GolfsAlot loses in an epic landslide.We’ll still be stuck with those federal judges though.

      • Sakonyachen

        I’m not so sure. With a new government and a majority of people realizing that we can never go down this road twice and hope to survive, the judges he appointed may resign to avoid the pitchforks and torches.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I’ve got a vat of tar that’s been simmering all year, and I’m stockpiling feathers.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    So Hope Hicks was there? And didn’t say anything to stop the crazy train?
    Is she another of the fucking morans, or a Dem plant?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      She’s probably so broken at this point. She’s a 28 year old from the private sector, she can’t possibly be prepared for this fuckery.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        I don’t know- I’ve worked in marketing in the private sector, and I have seen a lot of fuckery.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Oh, yeah, but that’s a different venue with different repercussions

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I hope she ends up writing a tell-all. Can you even imagine.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          As long as she doesn’t tell ALL, if you feel me

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Once sat on a plane next to a lady who obtained “samples” from farm animals for breeding purposes.

            She took her coffee black, I recall

            Hope’s story is as got to be worse

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The fact that she is still there for the crazy train indicates that she is on the crazy train for keeps.

  • clairence

    “You know, we make a good deal on NAFTA, say I’m going to take a small
    percentage of that money and it’s going to go toward the wall. Guess
    what? Mexico’s paying.”

    sounds like more Trumpy double-accounting. It’s no wonder he won’t release his taxes.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Ye gods and little fishes, that was incredibly difficult to read.
    I’ve mentioned before that I once cared for an elderly gentleman who was suffering from advancing Alzheimers. This is exactly the way he talked – fabricating stories, repeating himself, contradicting himself, bragging, and outright denial that he has any sort of problem.
    The difference, of course is that he WASN’T THE GODS-DAMNED PRESIDENT!

    • BreakingDeadMen

      And he was probably a decent person before the disease took over, so that’s also different

      • Petunia Cat

        Ronbo? He was an absolutely disturbing governor of California way before he had Alzheimer’s.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      SNL once said that Reagan (or maybe McCain?) shouldn’t be trusted with a TV remote control, much less the nuclear codes. That’s what I keep thinking about this doddering fool.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Tip O’Neill on St. Ronnie of Alzheimers:
        “he was a lousy President, but he would have made one hell of a king!”

        My Grandma went to High School with him, said he was a hit with the ladies, but otnay ootay ightbray, if you know what I mean

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Lulz. Ronnie was a good looking man when he was young, and charismatic. I always suspected he was a dim bulb, still way smarter than Donnie Dump.

      • Bebecca

        I’d be shocked if trump even knows how to use a remote.

  • AppleJackie

    A great athlete?! My god, but that we all had the self-confidence of a mediocre white man.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Please, let’s not insult the mediocre, some of them are probably good people.

      • toughsister

        Very fine people on the mediocre side. Question: are Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann mediocre, or just batshit insane?

        • theCryptofishist

          Yes.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I’ll take “batshit” for $200, please Alex.

        • John Thorstensen

          Why not both?

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Or the pudgy, thank you very much.

    • toughsister

      Correction: mediocre pudgy white man with bad hair.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Won a medal for “neatness” at Military School. Those t-shirts don’t fold themselves

    • Sakonyachen

      I am a mediocre white man, the only thing I’m confident of is that Trump doesn’t even register on the same scale as I do.

  • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

    “Mister President, sir! We have a serious problem!”

    “What is it?”

    “It’s our wedges. Our experts think … well, to be honest, they just don’t know, sir!”

    “Experts, huh? Pfff.”

    “What can be done, sir?”

    “You’re lucky I’m here, son. Bottom line, those wedges, they are not wedging right. Look at ’em. ”

    “Why, you’re right sir! More and more, I’m seeing this every day! But, sir?”

    “Only I can fix it. There has never been a man alive who knew wedges better. Stand back, this is gonna get messy.”

    • Daniel

      “You see, the wedges they’re, let me tell you I will tell you this: the wrong.”
      “But how can we fix them?”
      “Believe me, you need- and I’ve said this to people, many ones: you. If there’s turning, to turn it will the wedge. Then.”
      “How much?”
      “How much?”
      “Degrees?”
      “All, all the degrees. I have many, more than most you already know, many.”
      “Would 90° be enough?”
      “That’s the best number.”
      “I’ll do that then.”
      “I it my it was my, you know that was my idea I will tell you.”
      “And it was very good.”
      “Probably the best, everyone says.”

      • theCryptofishist

        The only wedges he know are wedge salads and sand wedges!

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          And wedge issues

  • mailman27

    World class idiot.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Scene: Two Roman Legionnaires stacking stones in a field somewhere in northern England, as the mid-January sleet blows across the heath.

    “I say, Lucius- why does Hadrian want us to build this wall, again?”

    “Apparently, the Emperor doesn’t think the Caledonii are sending their best people down here. He thinks they’re bringing hallucinogenic mushrooms, and crime, and that some of them are rapists. But he also says that some of them are good.”

    “I think the Emperor just doesn’t like blue people.”

    • handyhippie65

      you pict a good one! woad you do it again?

  • BearGHAZI

    If he publicly brags that he went to the Wharton School of Finance one more fucking time, I will put out my own brain with a hook

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m pretty sure he didn’t go to Wharton. He took a few undergrad real estate courses, and I don’t think he even has a degree, much like his illegal immigrant wife, who’s not an architect.

      I do remember one of his teachers saying that he was by far the dumbest student he ever had. This is who is running America – the stupidest fuck on the planet.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Like saying “I went to Harvard” when you had a pint at the campus pub

  • “people don’t know that”

    drink!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    You know, when you think about it, 200 years is really a pretty good run for a democracy. It’s been nice knowing you, America!

    • theCryptofishist

      It’s a little more, even. 220? Let’s see, 2016 – 1789, yeah, 227. A little over a quarter of a millennium.

      • Sakonyachen

        227>1,000/4?

        Judging by the math, either you’re drinking as hard as I am, or the Bircher society hacked your account.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It was fun while it lasted.

  • Rickyphoo

    My two year old grandson who speaks more coherently that this clown.

    • sillyclucker

      So does my chicken.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    “And I know more about wedges than any human being that’s ever lived…”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8ca5984d1b3b22d211facac06bbe3b8eeaa1f29aeaed31c12301bb07092f208c.gif

  • TakingAmes

    LOL whut?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I was down at the Rio Grande the other day, and it was talking about my weight like I wasn’t even there. Fucking river’s vicious. I can’t even go near the damned thing.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      It straight-up told my buddy he was ugly. It’s nasty.

    • Sakonyachen

      Pffft! The Rio Grande is all talk. It said something about my wife and I pissed in it. Rio didn’t do shit. Punkass river.

    • Vicious Rivers, wasn’t she that porn star he had a thing with?

  • toughsister

    To Dr. Gupta’s detractors: what are your qualifications to reject (or even question) his opinion? Note that he neither says that Trump is mentally ill, nor that he’s sane. Only that a medically credible diagnosis of insanity (or at least mental derangement sufficient to warrant removal from office) is a lot more complex and difficult than what laypeople thinK; BTW: I heartily despise Trump and wish the hell he weren’t president. Also gladly look forward to impeachment, whatever the the charges.

  • greyXstar

    What in the actual shit…?

  • MOG253

    Thought WSJ was onboard with his crap?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      It is Murdoch owned now.

  • Jezzam

    And you thought we all descended from apes. Thumb check!

  • theCryptofishist

    Maybe the greatest brand? Heinz 57 Liebullzz!1 for a start.How do we even measure brand “greatness?” Coca Cola? Sinclair–I’m a sucker for that dinosaur.
    How many more of these can they do before the whole trump edifice comes crashing down?
    Tell you though, those violent rivers will cut a bitch.
    “…book about Steve…” No, it’s a book about you, Donnie Boy. All about you.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Holy shit, that guy is a loon.

  • And I know more about wedges than any human being that’s ever lived

    Because you spend so much time playing golf?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ec2457d0a3598a799dd0794bf7a1658b4dd30eb80ab99d385339c90136ec3c5.jpg

    • BeverlyCrusher’sWig

      I know a little about wedges myself. They tend to be more potato based.

    • Sakonyachen

      I’m guessing he is familiar with wedges because they have the shortest shaft.

    • But what does he know about subs, hoagies, grinders, and heroes?

    • Petunia Cat

      And then the murders began.

  • Kastle

    I’ve read excerpts from this interview at multiple sites, and just now realised that he’s not the best st WEDGIES. I honest-to-god thought your Donny Two Scoops was boasting about knowing the most about wedgies. Didn’t even surprise me.

    • handyhippie65

      i’m sure he does know a lot about wedgies. having had gotten a few in school. at least he would have if i were there. preferable of the atomic variety.

  • Rooster Cogburn105

    Did you hear what that Catty bitch Rio Grande said about the “Queen of the Nike?”

    Vicious, I tell ya!

  • motmelere

    The greatest brand? I never watched his stupid show or bought his steaks or vodka. I did ride on one of the planes he couldn’t afford to maintain when the DOD was propping up that failed business; I’ll admit it was a nicer ride than a C130.

    • Lordpnut

      The New York Dolls, obviously. Everything since is just…brands?…oh…never mind.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      If you must drink Trump wine, avoid the white.

  • Lordpnut

    One of the most consistent flaws in the great one’s thinker is viewing everything as a zero-sum closed system.
    I recently watched honey badgers on tv figure out that if one of them got the latch, the other pushed open the door – then held it – they both could escape in seconds; but neither could alone.
    And with every perception of resistance, his reactions become more entrenched rather than open to suggestions. Do you think the Russians have figured that out yet?
    Sorry, that’s just paraoical flim-flam. I should go take my medication.

    • Petunia Cat

      The honey badgers are DEFINITELY onto trump. 😵

      • Lordpnut

        Know why they’re called honey badgers? ‘Cause they’re sweet when you lick their bellies.

  • JParkerSD46

    How can a WSJ reporter, someone of some intelligence, I’m assuming, sit still while listening to this? If it were me, I’d have to look at those three semi-lucid people in the room and say “What the fuck does any of this mean and what the fuck is wrong with you for enabling this batshit crazy?”

    • HazooToo

      I really wish it was you, because I would have loved to have their answer in the transcript.

    • Petunia Cat

      Yes please! My fantasy is at one of those press conferences a reporter will stand up and say “Mr. President you realize we all think you’re insane right?“

      Or actually, introduce some fake government policy announcement. Like on John Oliver they had this thing about the “Swiss file transfer“. A made up Hillary scandal. Make up a fake policy announcement and keep asking him about it. 😆 “Mr. President on Tuesday you announced the beginning of Western Pycost Initiative, what are your expectations for it?“ He’ll make up some crazy response, not realizing it’s fake.

      Or tell him “Chuck Schumer says the war with Fredonia is going badly.“ 😁

  • Skaarphy

    I’ve been watching a whole lot of The Mentalist recently and come to a much better understanding of human nature, and I hereby declare that Donald Trump has daddy issues.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Has he ever sounded more Drunk Uncle?
    Is it just dementia, or do we have some pills/alcohol in the mix?
    I have sympathy for people with such problems, but I wouldn’t run them for President.

    • Jo Mathie

      I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he thinks he was “the best athlete”. I mean he’s even rubbish at golf and he does that all the time.

    • handyhippie65

      hey now, drunk uncle is funny. the orange shitgibbon is the opposite of funny.

    • cicatricella

      He is famously teetotal wrt alcohol, because of his brother’s death from complications due to alcoholism. (Never stopped him from trying to make a buck off of selling the stuff). I’m not sure about pills & stuff but the booze thing is supposedly legit.

      The theory that holds a special place in my heart is the one that he’s suffering from tertiary syphilis. He did claim that his carnal exploits were ‘his Vietnam’ (or something like that) on Howard Stern once, so you never know….

      • Husband Of Mrs God

        That’s interesting. Wouldn’t that cause a strange, ungainly gait?
        Or not necessarily?

        • cicatricella

          I’m really not sure; it’s my pet favourite because if true it would fill me with unholy glee, but I don’t know how remotely plausible it is. It is true that he’s notoriously not much of a walker, even on the golf course. Hmmmmmm.

        • Petunia Cat

          I believe so. Plus all kinds of other physical manifestations. Also we can be sympathetic toward people with drug problems but not people syphilis? (admittedly it wasn’t you who brought up the syphilis) Creepy.

          There’s zero reason to believe he doesn’t drink. Just wait once his administration’s over, or maybe once he’s dead assuming they don’t occur at the same time and people have no reason to keep his secrets anymore it’ll probably come out that he was snockered all day every day. The real meaning of Executive Time.

          Although I still say: dementia. The language effects and the losing his train of thought. Yep.

          • Husband Of Mrs God

            To be clear, sympathy for people with various misfortunes, but no unfit people in the Oval, please.

          • Petunia Cat

            Agree. I get very frustrated with people making fun of trump via things that millions of decent people share. Diseases, old age, fatness. And the endless claim that he is incontinent. He’s quite bad enough as it is.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Wharton will be out of business by the end of his first term.

    • Beawild

      One of Trump’s former professors years ago proclaimed that he was “The dumbest goddam student I ever taught.” Trump was a transfer student and got in thanks to his oldest brother’s buddy in the admission’s office.

  • chronozoan

    and this people is why Roseanne Barr loves her some Donald Trump. Cuz like her he’s just WHITE TRASH WITH MONEY

  • Beawild

    I think that Tillerson description is quite apt, Trump is a f*cking moron. There’s never been anyone more stupid, uninformed and malicious in the WH.

  • Delu

    Was he stonewalling?

  • Bangkok Taxi

    The least racist stable genius ever in the history of the universe and all other universes combined.
    Blah blah blah.

  • Leftflank

    The word, obsessed, keeps popping into my head.

    The wall, the wall, the wall. Wharton-like smart, Smart-like Wharton.
    The best, wait-what was the subject again, oh yeah-the best at being successful at being the best at hitting golf wedges 32′ high over river walls onto the NAFTA side.
    Terrific really!

    Kim Jong Un DACA Dreamer. That about covers it…Gotta Go.

Previous articleREMINDER: Doctors Examining Trump’s Shithole Today At Walter Reed
Next articleDonald Trump Opens His Shithole