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This morning, before anyone was able to finish their first cup of coffee, Trump started railing against reports about his mental instability. In a series of tweets, Trump boasted about how he’s a “a very stable genius” and, “like, really smart.”


Trump’s frostbitten butthurt is clearly aimed at Michael Wolff’s new book, “Fire and Fury,” which quotes a number of aides as calling him A Idiot, a moran, and, “dumb as shit.” At first, we thought maybe Trump read a story from earlier in the week about how Congress secretly met with a head shrink from Yale who warned that Trump is already unraveling, noting his conspiracy peddling and brain farts as evidence, but that’s not possible since Trump doesn’t read. If he did, he might know that Ronald Reagan actually did have Alzheimer’s.

“We feel that the rush of tweeting is an indication of his falling apart under stress. Trump is going to get worse and will become uncontainable with the pressures of the presidency.”

Trump is currently at Camp David making the Secret Service taste test his airdropped Egg McMuffins, and he dragged a bunch of Republicans with him. It’s supposed to be a “working weekend,” you can tell because some intern tweeted out a photo of them at big table talking about infrastructure, building his stupid wall, and winning bigly in the 2018 midterms.

One face NOT at the table is Jeff Sessions, that’s because he wasn’t invited to Trump’s Siberian slumber party. Sessions is apparently still on Trump’s list of bad hombres after recusing himself from the Trump-Russia investigation last year. There’s also been calls from Trumplandia for Sessions to be “You’re Fired” for being bad at lawyering for Donald Trump. The rumor mill on the Hill has it that Trump has locked his brain trust inside a cabin in the woods in order to murder all the Trump-Russia investigations.

Since Trump’s tweets are only window into what’s actually going on in Maryland’s frozen mountains, we’ll just have assume that Trump, is “like, really smart,” perhaps even a “genius,” and that there’s nothing sinister going on in that secluded cabin in the woods.

[NY Times]

$
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  • Really smart people do not bankrupt a casino.

    • WeaselPoo

      Three casinos.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They do, however, break the bank.

    • They also don’t have to yell “I’m smart” at strangers.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I’m sure Wile E. Coyote also considered himself to be a “very stable genius.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Acme Corp. certified

  • JohnBull
  • I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IRAN!

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Wow.

      You picked one hell of a time to cover politics.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        …and also to give up sniffing glue.

    • BosGrl

      Like Rachel said last night, you can’t plan when you write about politics.

    • I’d love to hear about your 10k sometime in the future Dom, but god damnit, we’ve got a national crisis on our hands! ;^)

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Sorry, Jake, it’s 24 hours of nonstop Trumptown from now until eternity.*

      *this is a lot like what I imagine hell is like

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I hope that’s Trump-brand water my taxpayer ameros are paying for.

    • yyyaz

      Something Legionnaires something…

  • BosGrl

    Meanwhile, back at the White House, somebody is trying to use a fireplace in the Mural Room.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    And look! They put little name cards out so President Original Recipe can remember who is who.

    • therblig

      they probably still have to identify themselves by name and title before speaking.

      • BosGrl

        And say something nice about Drumpf. It’s like morning meeting in a kindergarten class.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    There’s a Simpsons clip for everything.

  • ((( Augustus )))

    Not a lot of non-white dude faces at that meeting, either

    • BosGrl

      Shocked! Shocked!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      if ever there were a situation calling for nuking it from orbit…

      • willi0000000

        didn’t see lyin ryan there . . . might not be able to be sure.

        • puredog

          No Ryan, no Sessions. . .save the strike for later.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “A jet at JFK Airport clipped another plane early Saturday, authorities said.” Trump’s record is ruined.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • therblig

      “mmm, conjugal visits” – DJT, probably

      • FlownΩver

        Ah, but with whom? Vladdie? Some random Mercer? Devin “Tonguebath” Nunes?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      LOCK HER UP!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        This is great news, because so many people already have those signs made!

    • jesterpunk

      But who will wake Trump up in the morning if they are in different prisons?

      • BosGrl

        A very nice, very large inmate will be glad to do it.

        • jesterpunk

          I want someone like R Lee Ermy in Full Metal Jacket to wake him up every morning by yelling at him or even flip the mattress when he wont get up. Make sure to tape the whole thing too.

          • FlownΩver

            “Get your ass up! What is your major malfunction, Private Fredo?”

          • jesterpunk

            Moar yelling and cursing.

      • therblig

        hopefully, his nightmares and phobias

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I think her fine jewelry business was a money laundering scheme.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        at this point I automatically suspect everything any of them do is to launder money or somehow pay off debts to bad people

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          But what about Hillary’s emails?

    • yyyaz

      Great. As soon as Daddy Twitshit hears about this the fireworks barge will be torched off. Buckle up, kiddos.

    • Relativicus

      “Mr. Mueller, hi. Do you really have to give us a ticket?”

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2jATVnJzU

  • Scooby

    Well, compared to his supporters he is a stable genius.

    • anon_the_great

      If you lay down with pigs…

      • BosGrl

        You get Eric?

        • anon_the_great

          Hey, no Erk Libelz. Turns out Eric, while not the sharpest crayon in the box, maybe the only one of his spaleen who actually loves the Old Man.

          • ((( Augustus )))

            that’s because he’s not the brightest bulb in the marquee

          • Querolous

            He’s not the sharpest bulb in the flower bed.

          • BosGrl

            If he loved him, he would get him some help.

    • willi0000000

      true . . . most of them are dumber than horses.

  • TJ Barke

    Wow, look at all those fucking criminals.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Where’s Von Stauffenberg when you need him?

      • Donna Mueller

        first thing i thought of too……

    • Donna Mueller

      they’re carving up the pile of crap they intend to make of this nation. thieves and whores and such that they are-and listening to the pile of orange shhht cry about his butthurt, demented feewings.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    To start the meeting, they all took turns extolling the greatness of President Big Brain and all his stable glory.

    • anon_the_great

      No. They all wore electric cock rings. The complements were compulsory

      • ((( Augustus )))

        but pure coal-fired electricity, to really get their Jimmies rollin’

        none of that ‘GREEN’ shit

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You left off how everyone marvelled at his yooge hands, and his massive popular landslide and inauguration.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB
    • Ωbjectifier

      Go for a boat vote ride?

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        it’s just

        • Ωbjectifier

          Fixed, thank you.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Like, is that valley girl talk, K?

  • Stulexington
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I smell like rich, Corinthian leather.

    • BosGrl

      Ooh, why?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s a line from Anchorman. Will Ferrell is trying to get in Christina Applegate’s pants, and he tells her he’s kind of a big deal (I think that’s what Dom was referencing in the article). Then he tells her he smells like rich Corinthian leather.

        • BosGrl

          Oh, I thought you were making a reference to Ricardo Montalban! I must be a stable genius.

  • RobKanC

    He has a certificate from the upstate facility stating he is not a donkey brain.

  • jesterpunk

    Not mental illness, no mental illness, you’re the mental illness

    • gene108

      He does not not have mental illness. He is an evil, irredeemable asshole, with declining cognitive skills.

  • Cosmic Owl 2

    The moron got a 100 on his IQ test, then bragged how he aced the fucker.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In conversations with friends, Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and senior adviser, has often described Mr. Trump as “crazy, but he’s a genius.”

    Only if you count “getting rubes to think he was actually on their side while shoveling tax cuts to the rich,” asshole…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2bddd0d42c33218e9ed61454ac318cc4a4940a36d677ec4f27399496950389e7.jpg

    • ((( Augustus )))

      He does.

    • gene108

      It takes a certain skill to be willing to shamelessly lie to anyone in a room to tell them what they want to hear to get them to temporarily agree with you.

      I guess you could call that level of pathological lying a genius skill.I could not do it.

  • Wuulf

    “DOTUS ” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/586d342efdd9759a74162e1206bfbe7e7b9839f095868abcaf508caad4b70ed3.jpg is a very stable genius.” Translation. He shovels horse shit with the best of them.

  • jesterpunk
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Actual smrt person.

    • Most of the people I’ve met over the years who make a big deal of their IQ are generally … not very smart. Years back, I was having to deal with one person who was trying to impress me with by saying he was a Mensa member, and had a “genius IQ.” After a few minutes of listening to him, I said “You know, there have been many times in my life when I’ve been the dumbest person in the room. But that’s only because you weren’t there.”

      • The Wanderer

        We had a client a couple decades ago, genius-plus IQ and Mensa member, who’d killed two people and sickened two more with poison. After driving him back from a doctor’s appointment, I asked him, apropos of nothing, what his IQ was.
        He said it was 158.
        He’s on Death Row now, and I never had the heart to tell him that mine was higher.

        • What I remember from my elementary school days was that we had to take various intelligence tests at times. No one ever told me my scores, but I remember getting really annoyed for years when I’d get teachers sorrowfully telling me that they’d seen my scores and thought I should be doing so much better. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that someone told me what the scores were, by which time I’d gotten more than a bit cynical about “IQ scores.”

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I have no idea what mine is. I figure it could be higher than expected, which would mean I haven’t lived up to my full potential, which would bum me out.

            Or, it could be lower than expected, which would mean I’m not as smart as I think I am, which would bum me out?

            Sensing a pattern here?

          • The thing about IQ tests, as explained to me by someone who had some expertise in the matter, is that they’re only a measure of where you stand at a certain point in time, your societal background, and your ability to take a test. As a measure of “intelligence,” it’s not particularly reliable or meaningful. Which is why I roll my eyes when someone brags about their IQ score. Do I know what mine was “back in the day?” Yes, because someone finally told me when I was in my late 30’s. Does it mean it’s the same today? No, and I don’t really care.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          THAT Mensa murderer/poisoner dude was a client of yours???? Woah, if true…

          • The Wanderer

            George Trepal?

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Yeah, that guy.

            (I mindlessly binge watch true crime shows.)

      • Celtic_Gnome

        A lot of Mensa members work in the mailroom of large, faceless corporations and live in their mother’s basement.

        High IQ don’t mean jack shit if you don’t know how to use it.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      all of us not so great minds think alike

      Sad…

  • TJ Barke

    Somebody suggested last night that if Donnie wants to prove how SMRT he is, he should hold a no questions barred, 2 hour long presser, where reporters can ask him anything with unlimited followup questions.

    • TJ Barke

      I’d bet that even if he had people feeding him answers through a ear piece he’d still come off like a fucking moron.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        “like”?

        • james crubb

          Already the word of 2018, the final word dammit.

      • gene108

        Wait Hope, repeat that last part…hold on Glen…(hand clasped to ear)…What I was saying is No Collusion, No Collusion, Your* the Collusion…

        Next question…

        * He’ll get it wrong, even if he is just saying it out loud.

      • Relativicus

        Of course he would because he wouldn’t listen anyway.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      dude

      half an hour

      I want to see him stand alone answering questions for thirty minutes

      he’ll crack like a fuckin’ egg

      at two hours he’ll probably be balled up in the fetal position screaming, “WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME, MOMMY???”

      • eggs ackly-wright

        With the press corps we have now, the questions would probably be along the lines of, “Just exactly how smart are you, sir?”

        • ((( Augustus )))

          “…mmhm. And is ‘like a bazillion’ the actual number you’d like us to write down as your IQ? Mhhm. I see. Okay, 10 bazillion it is, sir. Thank you.”

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Thirty minutes would be OK if the questions were from Triumph the insult comic dog.

          • handyhippie65

            now that, i would watch. “your IQ is so bigly perfect….FOR ME TO POOP ON!

        • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

          Maggie, is that you?

          • ((( Augustus )))

            M. Huffernpuff

        • agorabum

          “Sir, your adminstration seems to have the momentum. of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?”

      • Daniel

        “Daddy”.

        He wants his daddy’s love.

        (This applies to all male Trumps.)

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And female Trumps have had more than their share of Daddy’s love.

    • therblig

      he doesn’t have time for that. he’s busy reading documents, lots of documents, all the documents.

      • PubOption

        Katie.

    • What Would Barack Do

      WWBD

      • ((( Augustus )))

        Barry would fucking crush it because he’s a normal actually smart dude with experience and skills

        and a charming personality, and a sense that he understands what you’re saying and thinking about it and responding in a meaningful way

        • Zactly.

        • Noxious Resistance

          Everything that Donnie’s incapable of.

          • james crubb

            Well Donny has all the narcissistic, bullying, violent, delusional, thin skin etc etc traits of a Psychopath.

    • folderol

      The FAKE NEWS would just ask him dumb questions about stuff nobody cares about. You really don’t expect him to waste his time when he could be golfing, do you?

    • Lancelot Link

      MENSA has actually challenged Trumpy to take its admission test.
      Oddly enough, Trumpy has not accepted their challenge.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Well, he’s so busy with all those lawsuits and such.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      …and then the murders began.

  • (((Sedagive)))
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    “I’ve got the best brain! All you other losers are sad, my brain is the best!”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inqdiNVzQcc

    • (((Sedagive)))

      So much yes!

  • JaveyDay

    Put him in a stable full of old, demented horses and he’s still not the smartest one of the bunch.

    • BosGrl

      Horses are smart animals. Drumpfs, not so much.

      • Angry Hour

        It would behoove him to quit tweeting.

        • FlownΩver

          And wanking and bungling.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Why are you such a neigh sayer?

      • JaveyDay

        I oat to be ashamed of myself.

        • yyyaz

          So much whinny-ing.

        • Daniel

          Or bridle at the accusation.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Make an appointment with my Secretariat.

          • JaveyDay

            I would like a Seabiscuit with my tea, thank you.

        • FlownΩver

          How about a match race against Little Rocket Man o’ War?

      • Daniel

        Saddled with so much pessimism.

      • Well, that’s not a blanket accusation, but it still sounds like you’re trying to stirrup trouble. Or at least spur a pun cascade.

      • Querolous

        Just trying to stirrup the crowd.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Show yourself out!

    • eggs ackly-wright

      He thinks a fetlock has something to do with his hair.

    • But he’d make a wonderful glue.

      • therblig

        if only he could stick to one thing for any period of time

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Ooh. You win.

    • therblig

      let’s hope he doesn’t remain president furlong

      • Last Hussar

        Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh.

  • What’s this? Trump flying commercial?

    “United Airlines passengers found themselves in a fetid situation when their Chicago-to-Hong Kong flight made an unscheduled landing in Alaska after a man had smeared feces all over some of the plane’s bathrooms, airport officials said.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dr-gridlock/wp/2018/01/05/a-united-passenger-befouled-the-bathrooms-so-badly-the-plane-had-to-land/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-national%3Ahomepage%2Fcard&utm_term=.c6da85cc47d2

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • The Wanderer

      The funny farm? Would that be the Filbert Factory?

  • RickyG
  • WeaselPoo

    At the meeting:
    Trump: Whoever does the best job of saying how smart I am, gets a pardon. Fight amongst yourselves while I eat these McNuggets.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Daniel Hooper

    I was thinking of Homer’s, “S-M-R-T” line as soon as I saw the article title; would’ve linked it in a second if it hadn’t already been in the article.
    On that topic, a fun fact I only learned a few days ago; the “S-M-R-T” line wasn’t in the original script. In a happy accident, Homer’s voice actor goofed up during the initial read and they decided to keep it in since it fit Homer so well.

  • gene108

    On the bright side, in the lonely cabin in the woods, if Trump did find the Necronomicon, he wouldn’t try to read from it.

    • Blackest Noobs

      if only. but who would be Ash in that situation? we can definitely rule out Trump.

    • Lancelot Link

      He’d try, but fail

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      DAMMIT!

      Oh well, GMTA.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Turnabout is fair play ;-)

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Ha ha…nice use of “stable.”

  • jesterpunk
    • beatbort

      trump couldn’t have typed that. all the words are spelled correctly and some even have 3 syllables.

      • jesterpunk

        Its from 2012, he has gotten worse the older he gets.

        • Bad Tom

          Dementia is like that.

  • beatbort

    Think of the tension in the room at Camp David this weekend. A bunch of GOP hacks in a room watching their “brand” go down the toilet. Images of the July 1944 meeting with Hitler in his bunker spring to mind. The only difference is that there is no one in the GOP with the courage and decency to end this farce.

  • ManchuCandidate

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j3adcbEwSM
    “Apes don’t read philosophy.”
    “They do Otto, but they don’t understand it.”

    I remember when stupidly aggressive oafs were guys you just laughed at in the movies, not live in the White House.

    • Ωbjectifier

      The London Underground is not a political movement!

      Love that line.

      • Last Hussar

        Damn, got there before I could.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Blackest Noobs

    smart or/and sane people usually don’t have to point that out to you.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      what are the odds of Donnie understanding the phrase “self evident”?

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      likewise “rich” and “good at business”

      • Blackest Noobs

        really goes without saying…just saying.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          “It goes without saying” is one of the weirdest phrases in the English language

    • Daniel

      Not often, but there are times the computer gangster god steals their brains and because of the replacement fake moon brains no one knows. Just look at how there are the teachers who call themselves Our Smartnesses but they haven’t no very idea of real four corner time reality. It’s a scandal, a nd like by the way the President Great Computer God’s fight enemy you know all of this cockamamie nonsense FBI CIA Illuminati they haven’t seen or known too smart to see TRUTH it’s staring them in the face- his very own special replacement moon wife is Slovenian! This is spoken thus said, and are you too enough to see the moon unit gangster communist Frankenstein god to replace you in the night and replace also the goddamn president’s own goddam wife?

      • Dr. Ray? Is that you?

        You have been resurrected!

  • Relativicus

    Two hours of:

    “Let us praise Trump. Oh Trump, oooh you are so big. So absolutely huge. Gosh, we’re all really impressed around here I can tell you. Forgive us, O Trump, for this dreadful toadying and barefaced flattery. But you are so strong and, well, just so super. Fantastic. Amen.”*

    is NOT discussing “the 2018 policy agenda.”

    *Apologies to Monthy Python, whose gift for satire could never keep up with the “modern president”.

  • JaveyDay
  • jesterpunk

    Lets get a medical opinion from Doctor House, what do you think about Trump?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32d61e439511fdfdceabdbfd0128032a6d849a11b1453eabd5cf5fa49f630a6d.jpg

  • Mavenmaven
  • TJ Barke

    Geniuses don’t usually brag about being geniuses.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      And they’ll willingly talk about their mistakes.

      • Bad Tom

        They even learn from their mistakes.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I like Judd’s response to this shit, myself:

    https://twitter.com/JuddApatow/status/949654504512806912

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That Onion article where they go on about not getting a moment’s rest from this horse’s ass still makes me laugh.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Nope, sorry, too busy triggering libs

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Side bets on whether or not the elf is still AG on Monday?

  • The Very Stable Genius is to give a live briefing from Camp David any minute.

    This is gonna be good.

    • BosGrl

      Is he gonna tell us it’s not really a camp because there aren’t tents and s’mores?

      • I don’t know but it sure smells like a barn about now.

        • BosGrl

          … and here we go. He’s already pushing the superlatives.

      • therblig

        and there’s no one named david living there

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      With my luck, that will be right when I am working out and have the news on…

      …then again, the rage might just fuel my workout.

  • Duke

    Audacity and a line of shit is what Trump has.

  • TJ Barke
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Funny how none of those “Congressional leaders” are Democrats. I wonder why that is…

      • TJ Barke

        ‘Cause Donnie needs corrupt criminals for his 2018 agenda.

      • shivaskeeper

        Why would they be invited?

    • TundraGrifter

      Perhaps they are planning their late November good bye! party.

  • jesterpunk

    Trump is currently at Camp David making the Secret Service taste test his airdropped Egg McMuffins, and he dragged a bunch of Republicans with him.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHJbSvidohg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      It means you’re, like, Fredo.

      • therblig

        why couldn’t he have been sonny?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Sonny was hung like a horse. I doubt if Donnie could, uh, measure up.

    • Daniel

      It was that detail that stopped me believing it was real when I read it on Kos.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I thought that line was satire, and the whole thing was someone imitating Dotard. It killed me to realize these mutterings really were from our commander in chief.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      He put that in there for plausible deniability. “Like smart” as in not smart, but like it in some ways. For example, a smart person might take an unconventional approach to solving a problem. The difference being, a smart person would pick an unconventional approach that works.

    • CeeQ

      I mean like, duh.

  • jesterpunk
  • The Wanderer
  • TJ Barke

    Let’s go back and count all the times that Obama proclaimed himself a genius…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Well, he couldn’t, because everyone knows he’s not a genius. I mean, when your President, you’re not allowed to lie.

  • susan_g

    There’s nothing stable about cheeto but he does belong in a stable–the proper place for a jackass.

    • shivaskeeper

      Donkeys are useful. If for nothing else you need them to get a mule.

      Donkey libelz.

      • Transgender Fetus McGoo
        • shivaskeeper

          True. However I know of at least 2 locals near me that use donkeys as herd/flock protection animals. One for goats and one for sheep. Because the donkeys will absolutely destroy predators like coyotes and wild dogs. If there is nothing bigger for them to hide behind they will stand ground, get aggressive, and kill predators.

          Also, the wild ones are not something you want to cross. Every time I went to FT Irwin/NTC in CA I was briefed about no messing with the wild donkeys and horses. They were the surviving ancestors of the old Army pack and drayage animals that either got loose or were let loose. They are tough, mean, and take no shit from anyone. I never saw any of the horses, but I have seen donkeys go after Abrams tanks, Bradley IFVs, and Strykers, to say nothing of HMMWVs and dismounted troops. Do not cross the donkeys.

  • FFS, Trump has all of his unindicted co-conspirators behind him as he’s speaking…..

  • ManchuCandidate

    Remember the many times when Obama would go nuts on Twitter when GOPers would call him a: Nazi Commie Kenyan Imperialist Colonialist Terrorist America Hating Baby Eating Cannibal Affirmative Action Manchurian Candidate?

    I don’t either.

    • Shrieking Harpy

      Nothing screams “mental stability” like a screaming genius.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Remember when Killary tried to shut down the 9000 investigations into her every move? Yeah, neither do I.

    • therblig

      staying cool under pressure is all part of being a Nazi Commie Kenyan Imperialist Colonialist Terrorist America Hating Baby Eating Cannibal Affirmative Action Manchurian Candidate.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Someone on my Faceplace stated that ‘shut up about what Trump eats. Remember when Obama was demanding watermelon on air force one? Not that there is anything wrong with watermelon’. Their sheet was at the laundry.

  • BosGrl

    “Drugs pouring into this country.” It’s your best buds running Big Pharma, dude, who did this.

    • BosGrl

      Also: “drug problem”. More deaths than breast cancer. It’s a fucking national emergency, not a “problem”. I hate him with the heat of a thousand suns.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It would be funny if it was a TV show, but real life? Not so much.

      • Jack Tenhet

        What an asshole! Watching the way Pence was looking at Donnie, that meme went through my head.

        “Find someone who looks at you like Mike Pence looks at Donnie.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        too bad the GOP just passed new laws handcuffing the DEA from going after Big Pharma. Tired of winning yet, rust belt dullards?

    • therblig

      our own governor orca has been running lots of commercials for his anti-opiate crusade, now that he has another 10 days in office. in addition to neglecting his other duties as governor for 7 years while he ran for president, he could have done something about this as well – even here in big pharma’s home territory. if there’s one and only reason to be thankful for jared, it’s because he kept christie out of trumpy’s administration. not much, but credit due. and ironically, it’s for something that christie actually did right. crazy old world.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Another one of those worthless governors? Kasich’s just marking time until his term’s up next year. After spending a year on the road running for President, the last thing he wants to do is spend time in his home state trying to fix the problems he caused.

    • Phried Ω

      I just learned on BBC that the USA has an Opioid Czar. I had no idea we have a Czar for that. I’m so relieved that it is not a Big Pharma CEO or a close famiy member. The Opioid Czar is Kellyanne Conway.

      • BosGrl

        Right??

        But why would you not put a DOCTOR who specializes in addiction medicine at the head of this? He doesn’t care about it, except that he can use it to further his stupid wall. Considering his brother died an alcoholic, you would think this is something he could actually do right.

        • Phried Ω

          Becuz he not only felt no grief for his brother but his death gave him the biggest opportunity of his life. It meant as next oldest son he was the real estate empire heir.

  • btwbfdimho

    We feel that the rush of tweeting is an indication of his falling apart under stress…

    Exactly, common behavior of someone in trouble: take higher risks, or higher bets at the roulette. At some point, his outcome will be a matter of luck.
    But higher risks with this loser could be: war with some external enemy. Which one?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Grand Fenwick?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        We have always been at war with Politzania.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The Grandest Fenwick. Bigliest the best Fenwick. Everybody says so.

    • Stulexington

      He’s been telegraphing Korea part II: The Nukening for months now.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s the Martingale System applied to domestic and global politics.

    • TJ Barke

      Gambler’s Ruin is going to fuck us all…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You’d think a family member would try to explain this…oh, right, they’re all too worried about their inheritance to make a fuss:

    https://twitter.com/isteintraum/status/949646845491449856

  • “its gonna be tough to beat the great year we had in 2017” – Trump, just now.

    Boy howdy, I’ll say.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I really, really hate ZEGS and the turtle. Donnie is an idiot and broken person- those two have no excuse

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    they’re all busy lying on teevee as we speak…

    • Shrieking Harpy

      Um, and what else is new?

  • Ωbjectifier

    “And I have a big dick too!”

  • BosGrl

    McConnell does Botox; otherwise, explain that forehead and how smooth it is and doesn’t move.

    • Jack Tenhet

      I thought it was due to his being a hard shelled reptile?

  • ManchuCandidate

    On the bright side, no one claimed Trump has a tiny penis (yet) or the Grand Dotard would be posting dic pics all week.

  • Mystery_Poster

    I like how he capitalizes “fake news mainstream media,” like it’s a proper noun or something…

  • Bec Jenn

    When I first saw these, I was SURE it is a play by The Onion. I mean, WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK?!?! As so many others have said “just wow”.

    • Stulexington

      Me too, I thought for sure this was fake. It’s been two years of this shit and he still managed to surprise me.

      • Bec Jenn

        TBH, I thought it was something like that gorilla channel thing. But yeah, this kind of surprised me too. I woke up to this first thing on my twitter feed. I laughed for a bit, then reality set in…

        • teele

          Reality? I am pretty sure I am “living” in a post-reality world, and am responding to a comment/noncomment written by a bizarre outpost of my wildest imagination. I just want to wake up, or slip back into my universe of origin, or somehow escape from this never-ending hellscape.

  • WiscoJoe

    Ugh, even that official White House photo is terrible. Bad lighting, amateur composition. Is the official White House photographer taking pictures on an old Nokia brick phone? The Trump White House can’t even do propaganda good.

  • BosGrl

    Pence really does look like Voldemort.

    • And the sound in the hall indicates that it might as well be an empty parking garage with the echo.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Mystery_Poster

      Or the child who insists he wasn’t the one who ate all the cookies.

      • handyhippie65

        with a face full of crumbs.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      so like Mike Pence…

    • The Wanderer

      Better yet, a guy who constantly asserts he’s straight while vigorously tongue-bathing Certain Bits of you.

  • Jack Tenhet

    I’m a genius who lives in a stable.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Is that you, Ed?

      • Jack Tenhet

        Heeellooo Wilbur!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    One last one before I go off to workout:

    https://twitter.com/ashleyfeinberg/status/949687469838098432

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      It’s even worse. It wasn’t even in response to a question. It’s more like walking into a job interview and saying, “Hi, I’m a mentally stable genius!”

  • BosGrl

    No, WE are going to keep delivering in 2018, because that’s the only kind of jobs we can get.

  • Wuulf

    Ok, time for some fun distraction. Happy King day everyone. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/10f2b7e72648b0bf61ba86326732b547e45fc76acc340484dcc3b3b24246365e.gif First day of Carnival. Mardi Gras is 13 February…

    • grindstone

      Happy Epiphany!

      • Daniel

        O.M.New Born G!

        I’ve just realised why they call it that!

        • grindstone

          Well played. Fucking well played.

  • I’m guessing because he’s front and center Steve Scalese is going to talk about gun control at the presser?

    • gene108

      Yeah, Steve basically said there aren’t enough guns and too many gun laws destroying our freedom.

      I guess the lesson is if you are a Republican nothing should shake your ability to suck up to the gun lobby.

  • BosGrl

    HE MADE BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS! LOL!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Monopoly money doesn’t count. Even then, the other players would have had to let him win.

    • TJ Barke

      You all should have been genius enough to be born into wealth!

  • Pisto75666
  • TJ Barke

    Don’t geniuses usually solve complex physics problems, or write groundbreaking novels that translate incredibly complex concepts into easily understood allegories?

    • Transgender Fetus McGoo

      Or drink themselves to death while writing snarky blog comments and watching everything they love destroyed by nincompoops.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        Some times they just chop their own ear off and say ‘fuck it’.

    • Bright Bart

      No. Apparently they mainline diet coke and cheeseburgers and twitter on the shitter. This is 2018 you know.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Donnie claims he ran once and won first time. Umm. . . the Reform party?

  • Swampay

    Someone should tell him that Reagan did actually have Alzheimer’s for much of his second term.

  • BosGrl

    “If we could just jail everybody I don’t like, that would be awesome!”

    • weejee

      He’s trying that by push, push, pushing the FBI at the Clintons. And like lapdogs they now are investigating the Foundation.

  • Rick Hill
  • weejee
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      they’re all cowards

    • altleftjohn
    • Bill D. Burger
    • HogeyeGrex

      As noted in another thread, impeachment is easier. The 25th requires two thirds of the cabinet, House, and Senate. Impeachment just takes a House majority and two thirds in the Senate. Neither one is happening any time soon.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Wait until he declares it year ‘1’. They won’t even blink.

  • Jack Tenhet

    Someone needs to tell Donnie that “Sloppy Steve” won’t become a “thing”. It lacks any real poetry. Bannon’s right, he has lost it.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      But won’t “sloppy steve” now replace “sloppy seconds”?

      • Jack Tenhet

        That one, I like.

  • BosGrl

    Oh dear God. What the fuck is actually happening? Are we on some kind of group Truman Show?

  • altleftjohn
  • Rick Hill

    He’s gonna blow….

    Which will be more spectacular? The meltdown or republican’s reaction of shock and dismay?

    • weejee

      The Grand Obstruction Party wouldn’t care if during the 2018 State of the Union Hair tRump pulls out his tiny appendage and starts fapping. They really would not care.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but he won’t last that long. Can you see it, after trump is sedated and locked away.
        Mitch-“We are all very surprised at this. Everyone knew trump had his own style but no one knew he was both clinically insane and suffering from dementia. We would have taken action had we even the slightest clue.”
        *crickets, as the press pool, not only have their jaws hit the ground but their faces melt off, as well*

    • jesterpunk

      They will blame Obama, Hillary and Ellen for it.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Trump eats like bass player. Enjoy a egg a muffin.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsPzJALbR6c

    • BosGrl

      Lady Elaine is not amused by Drumpf.

    • gene108

      Mr. Rogers wanted to be a professional musician. He played piano. He failed at it. He reinvented himself.

  • Me not sure

    McCarthy just blinked “save me” in Morse Code.

  • Jack Tenhet

    He thinks his poll numbers are “way up”?

    BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

  • Anarchy Unicorn
    • Phried Ω

      Gilbert and Sullivan is the perfect vehicle for this administration.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Second to the tumbrel.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He moved on her like a chienne, but she wouldn’t give him a tumbrel.

          • Marilyn

            G-o-ogle is p-a-ying $97 per hour,w-i-th we-e-kly payouts.Y-o-u can a-l-so avail this.
            O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land R-o-ver Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the most-com-f-ortable job I have ever done .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you w-o-nt forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !gx274d:
            ♥G♥O♥Y♥J♥F♥L♥R♥D♥F♥L♥X♥Y♥N♥P♥B♥O♥T♥Q♥D♥U♥H♥R♥Z♥E♥P♥M♥U♥M♥N♥Q♥T♥X
            >>>> http://GoogleHomeCashJobsUniversalOpportunity/earn/hourly ♥G♥O♥Y♥J♥F♥L♥R♥D♥F♥L♥X♥Y♥N♥P♥B♥O♥T♥Q♥D♥U♥H♥R♥Z♥E♥P♥M♥U♥M♥N♥Q♥T♥X:::::!gx274lhuhuh

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      very nice.

    • folderol

      I am the very bestest of the bestest of the best of them
      Fox News is at the core and center of my daily regimen
      In short in matters practical, analytical and actual
      I am the very paragon of all things counterfactual

      • calliecallie

        When I speak I use the best words known in MAGA history,
        So bigly and so stable and so genius, it’s no mystery:
        In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental covfefe,
        You’ll say a smarter President has never co…luded? Gee.

        • folderol

          I type the tweety twitter tweets, of which I have a mastery
          I use it to damn Sloppy Steve and threaten nuke catastrophe
          My base adores me, though just why is something of a mystery
          I suppose when I dispose of Medicare they might come after me

    • SDGeoff3

      Now there is genius. Nicely done.

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      My favorite reaction so far: “I am, like, a smart person” is the new, “I am not a crook.”

  • IdiotsforPalin

    unable to control his impulses & needing instant gratification….so he’s beating off in his bedroom?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      He did ask for a lock on the door. Unless he was worried about Melania forcing her attentions upon him.

  • BosGrl

    OMG he’s not, he’s not, he’s not saying “they’re not sending their best people” again.

    • Rick Hill

      Irony turns itself inside out, like the pig beast in Galaxy Quest….

    • jesterpunk

      Is he talking about the very fine Nazis?

      • BosGrl

        He must have lost his train of thought.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Actually they are. They’re smart enough to get around all the barriers we have in place, settle down, and be employed in a foreign country. I couldn’t do it if I tried.

      • BosGrl

        I know. Seriously, we should be cheering for these people, they are so damned determined.

  • Jonny On Maui
  • rosenbomb
  • The Wanderer

    The Pantomime Horse called me to his stable about an hour ago, and is dead set on sending a cease and desist letter to Trump, telling him to stop describing himself as a “stable genius.”

    • Me not sure

      “I say thee, Neigh, Mr. President!”

  • Jennifer R

    I can’t even

  • Jack Tenhet

    He thinks the Democrats are going to give him his damned wall AND and end to chain migrations AND the end of the lottery system or he’ll kill DACA?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Doesn’t he realize DACA’s very popular and he owns it now?

    Yeah, like, a genius.

    • jesterpunk

      Any time he brings up wall funding someone should remind him that he said US taxpayers wont be responsible for those costs.

      • TJ Barke

        Oh I’m sure he’ll bullshit about how he’ll make Mexico pay through tariffs or something that he won’t follow through on.

        • Shan

          That’ll be great for trade.

          • TJ Barke

            Sure will!

  • Brucehenry
  • Ωbjectifier

    Symptoms of neurosyphilis include, but are not limited to the following:
    Abnormal gait.
    Blindness.
    Confusion, disorientation.
    Sudden personality changes.
    Changes in mental stability.
    Dementia.
    Depression.

    • Zyxomma

      I’ve been saying it’s tertiary syphilis for a long, long time.

      • Ωbjectifier

        I hear he was ‘fishing’ in the Mar a Lago swimming pool.

      • Flatulus

        Ditto!

      • gene108

        Maybe he lost his own personal Vietnam to STD’s after all

  • BosGrl
    • jesterpunk

      Is that the minority outreach or women’s health meeting?

      • BosGrl

        Both!

        • jesterpunk

          Ahh so they learned how to multitask.

          • BosGrl

            Sign everything that benefits the 1%; get rid of anything that doesn’t. Simple!

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            when you have such a very stable genius who is really smart and also stable, you can do anything!

          • jesterpunk

            Well except govern, no one knew that would be so complicated.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            he’s architecting!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I know it looks bad, but hear me out: it’s efficient!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      They’ve been told to keep their hands in view to show that they’re not handling anything else.

    • Jack Tenhet

      The old, white, rich men. . .

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      It’s casual Saturday. Have you ever seen a turtle wearing denim?

      • Bad Tom

        Not until this very moment!

    • Left Coast Tom

      1) Not a single one of them looks happy.
      2) McTurtle trying to look “casual” is especially sad.

    • Christopher Story

      Mitch the bitch looks like he’s about to cry

      • BosGrl

        I still think it’s Botox.

        • Christopher Story

          I was just joking with the Beautiful that he looks like he was just scolded for wearing jeans and wants to go home so bad.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      thank goodness it’s only the WHITE stuff!

    • Left Coast Tom
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Oh, blinding white.
      Oh white that blinds.
      I cannot see.
      Look out for me.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Christ, who the fuck dresses these people? Yertle and Ryan in particular

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Jo Mathie

      Dunno, wouldn’t they just put him in one of the cages along with the other scary things?

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Carpe Vagenda

    The Fredo is strong in this one.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • The Librarian

      I almost want to create a fake address just to say GFY.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        I’m sure plenty of people are, but they probably hired some seasonal workers to weed all of those out.

        • Phried Ω

          On J1 visas.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            did you say “JOO visas”?

          • Phried Ω

            The messican kind.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            not the ones from Puerto Rico then.

      • sosuume

        I did. ;)

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      There’s no birthday cake in federal prison, Eric Dottardsson.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the cake is a lie!

        • Daniel

          The cake is an alternative fact.

    • HogeyeGrex

      The lessons of Mr Splashypants must be learned over and over.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Happy last birthday at large, Uday!

    • Lyly Sirivong
  • Pisto75666
    • jesterpunk

      He didnt have permission to use that picture and he tweeted it out of context.

      • Pisto75666

        Of course he didn’t/of course he did. Someone else suggested the tweet be flagged for improper use of the image (or whatever that is. My brain’s not fully awake yet) so I did.

        • jesterpunk

          Trump also retweeted it and pissed off the family even more.

          • Pisto75666

            I smell another lawsuit!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And left it up after the widow asked him to take it down.

      • Pisto75666

        Of course he did. That Dinesh, what a classy dude. /s

      • BosGrl

        I saw a thread on Twitter by another widow who said something like this happens to her several times a month and that she’s sick of her family being used this way. Always, always what they say and what they do, when it comes to our troops, are miles apart.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hey convict! warzone fatalities are up! Is that whose side you’re on?

      Ask U.S. Army Sgt. La David Johnson whose side you’re on…

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      yes. I think I will take a knee for those fallen both here and abroad. like you do. if you’re in the military.

    • Me not sure

      No exploitation of the dead to see here, move along.

    • Jack Tenhet

      My gott, Dinesh! Literally nobody cares about your culture war nonsense anymore. “I Stand” has become a bumper sticker with as much gravitas and social commentary as “WWJD” or “Honk if you’re horny”.

      Literally no one cares what you think about athletes who choose to kneel.

      • jesterpunk

        All they are really doing is making people not want to stand for the anthem, just like they made saying “Merry Christmas” a political thing and made people want to say “Happy Holidays” instead.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Pretty much. More player knelt AFTER they opened their mouths about it.

          They’ll never learn.

      • Pisto75666

        I don’t have cable anymore but I wish whenever he did those appearances on Bill Maher’s show, someone would’ve thrown his conviction in his face. Now of course I think he’s too much of a coward to be on the panel.

    • BMW

      Dinesh thinks military service is so important to the fabric of our country that he equates any criticism with an attack on the people of the military, I would be interested in knowing what branch he served in.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s tragic, all those servicemen dying because football players are protesting blue on black violence.

    • BosGrl

      If this was my family, I would be violating the Rules, and likely some laws, as well.

      • Pisto75666

        You’re not the only one.

    • bbayliss

      Let no death go unexploited.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Convicted on his first try

      • Pisto75666

        It takes a really talented person for that. Some people work their whole lives to be convicted!

      • SDGeoff3

        Now there’s a success story for Republicans.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I will be on the side of the serviceman’s family and happily contribute to whatever legal fund they set up to sue Dinesh for being an obnoxious scumbag.

      ETA: This is wrenching my heart all over the place.

      • Pisto75666

        Same. His poor wife (and family). Plus to be trashed like they’ve been and all the other crap they’ve had to deal with. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I actually didn’t know this was going on until today.

          • Pisto75666

            Understandable.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) given that he doesn’t know Liberace, Frederick Douglas and Roy Cohn are dead, I’m pretty sure that not only is he unaware of Reagan’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, but he probably thinks the Gipper is still alive.

    b) I do see Cornyn at the table saying that he will not allow any judicial or AUSA nominees what are not from Texas through until the $81B disaster relief proposal is passed. it would actually be fun to be a fly on the wall for this meeting.

    • SDGeoff3

      And then there’s Frederick Douglass.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        President Diaper Shits would like a tall sippy cup of that!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        he put wire tapps in the microwave diaper!

        • SDGeoff3

          HE was the one?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            he was the NEO!

          • SDGeoff3

            Eeeek!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Looks like a contstant in MP’s Twit Race sketch.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Bad Tom

      But, see, I’m not mortally afraid these dudes will destroy the world in a nuclear holocaust.

      So, there’s that.

      • folderol

        I think its time to make way for the octopuses, who have been quietly waiting in the wings for their big moment on stage, arms folded.

        • handyhippie65

          they are more intelligent than the average trump voter.

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        Exactly. The humor comes from the fact that the performers aren’t embarrassed because they’re putting on a show. The Trump administration is clearly deeply embarrassed all the time so it’s just pitiful and sad. Even Trump seems to grasp at some level that he needs some kind of substance under the reality TV veneer, and is terrified that his vacuousness will be exposed.

    • Ωbjectifier
      • Carpe Vagenda

        Who knew Stephen Miller had abs?

      • handyhippie65

        uhhhh, yea. no.

    • The Wanderer

      That’s the Sunday service at Saint Loony Up the Cream Bun and Jam.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dad?

    • SDGeoff3

      Is that the ghost of Ed Koch?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I doubt it looks that dignified.

    • handyhippie65

      to be honest, i think you’re giving them too much credit. they could never figure out how to get the glove on their head, or light the torch.

    • james crubb

      Too much teamwork.

  • Swampay

    He is too a stable genius! Nobody can shovel horse shit like he can.

  • wait! what?

    I guess the takeaway is that Donald’s Russian Twitter team doesnt likke to be reminded how stupid they are…

    • wait! what?

      I like Mitch’s how Mitch’s jeans and shoes make him look like a serial killer.

    • BosGrl

      Ryan is wearing the uniform of the Forgotten Man.

    • Me not sure

      Scalise once claimed to be “David Duke without all of the baggage”.
      Well, …that kind of worked out.

    • Sophia

      Who is the guy standing behind Pence here? I was fascinated watching his facial expressions through this whole thing.

      • Rep Kevin McCarthy

        • Sophia

          Thanks. Brain fart. I just couldn’t place him.

    • Victoria Ricola

      How did that lady end up in the shot with Mike Pence?! Someone is getting fired.

      • Me not sure

        Mother will be sooo pissed!

        • Daniel

          I wonder if jealousy makes her horny?

          • Me not sure

            Hey, I’m eating breakfast, here!

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Mikey’s lucky that its early January. Its another 11 months before their annual remove the bundling board night and she may have cooled off by then.

          • Me not sure

            “Indiana Pence and the Cavern of Ice”

        • puredog

          It’s okay, Mikey wasn’t alone with her. As far as we know. He’ll be asked, though.

    • Me not sure

      Setting new standards in Republicasual attire.

    • white man white man white man white man…shit, anyone bring a woman? OH hey blondie, come stand here

      • Daniel

        Notice how Pence is looking away from her.

      • clairence

        Notice how she’s in the back?

    • Shrieking Harpy

      And this is supposed to be a reassuring photo? A bunch of men standing verrry awkwardly in a sorta but not really group (and none of them knowing what to do with their hands) while the sole woman, literally sidelined, is the only one who looks like her brain isn’t on hibernate.

    • teele

      The Doltard seems to be the only one wearing a tie. Did they take their shoelaces away, too?

    • bbayliss

      The worst MENSA meeting ever.

      • clairence

        I want to upvote but that’s such a slam on MENSA I can’t.

        • Me not sure

          Multiple
          Exceedingly
          Numbskulled
          Stupid
          Assholes

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Bullshit BB would never permit sneakers with slacks, or jeans obviously tailored for someone 2 inches shorter

    • clairence

      Mitch is wearing jeans and hiking shoes. Did someone forget to tell him it was not just a vacation?

      • Daniel

        It’s a long and thirsty climb up Trump’s arse.

    • SDGeoff3

      Mom jeans on Yertle?

    • greyXstar

      Nice mom jeans, Mojo.

  • jesterpunk

    OT but cute goat video time

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82MMx8HmWIM

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      just keep Erickson away from them…

  • rocktonsam

    Hey genius, your island surrounded by great water.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Jack Tenhet

      Pogo libelz! And it’s hard to libel Pogo.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Stuck in my head this morning:

    Is this the real life?

    Is this just fantasy?

    Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality?

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Duke

        Is purposelessness actually the highest purpose?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          I dunno, I just try to stay busy and amused.

    • C4TWOMAN

      So we’re all like, living in a 70s rock ballad?

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        It was prophetic.

  • azeyote

    better give him three scoops today –

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      why not 5?

    • C4TWOMAN

      And just to make him feel even more bigly better, everyone else gets none.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      is that our new years babby?

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      If only.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Victoria Ricola

    That photoshop is technical perfection and I can’t look away. A+ art.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    “On my first try….”

    Uh oh, sounds like a dotard (*aka: Fucking Moron) is slipping more and more into senility, huh?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DS36lpAVwAA4oHY.jpg

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      Who actually won on their first try?
      Obama, Clinton, many others.

      • Democrats win on their first try because Democrats do not run people who do not win a second time, generally

    • clairence

      He wasn’t really trying before, you see…

    • greyXstar

      The first time was just a publicity stunt.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It never happened. Donnie never fails. He always succeeds, on the first try!

      • Daniel

        That’s the phrase Don Jr. consoles himself with.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Not death parrot, not a death parrot. You’re the death parrot.

    https://twitter.com/laurahelmuth/status/949276615284068354

  • jeffg166

    The Ralph Wiggum presidency.

  • Fucking political agenda? Why the fuck are they discussing a political agenda? Get to fucking work you goddamned useless scumbags!

    • Victoria Ricola

      I’ve found that everything makes sense if you replace the word “political” with the word “criminal” in their bullshit statements.

    • WeaselPoo

      Or don’t. That would be good too.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Talosian: “Should we tell the Orange Loser that’s he’s living in a fantasy world?”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DS394dCW4AAgAHS.jpg

    • Miles Monroe

      You’ll now see the primitive fear threat reaction. The specimen is about to boast of his strength, the weaponry of his vessel, and so on. Next, frustrated into a need to display physical prowess, the creature will throw himself against the transparency.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        “…the creature will threaten a lawsuit” FIFY

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘See, when I blow in this it makes a noise. Who knew it?’

      • SDGeoff3

        Symphony orchestras throughout the nation are rejoicing.

    • Daniel

      “Is this raw? I only want the rawest water, believe me that other stuff, I will tell you this, it’s full of minerals! I don’t want!”

    • h4rr4r

      Does he shake?

      • SDGeoff3

        Yes, and that is not all he does.

    • clairence

      “See, this is how I moved on her like a bitch; I just started kissing her. Everyone says she loved it… even her lawyers. (fake lawsuit!)”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_MΩment

      And you know what they say about intellect size.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Boasting again.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • WomanInThePersistence

    I hate to point this out, but Donald Trump is batshit crazy. And very, very, very stupid.

  • mailman27

    Any body who brags about being a “stable genius” is likely neither.

  • WeaselPoo

    So Trump studied Billions at the Situational College of Excellent Students?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • SayItWithWookies

      Wile E. Coyote libel!

      • Phried Ω

        Isn’t he head of the Office of Science and Technology?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Over qualified.

  • ArgieBargie

    Again, fuck you if you voted for this irredeemable asshole.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yep.

      • ArgieBargie

        They need daily (if not hourly) reminders.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I live in the People’s Republic of Portland. Be assured that I will point out to the many purity ponies that they in effect voted for Trump.

          • puredog

            Me too, but, though I am sure I know some purity ponies, not within my close circles, and the other ones are ar least not crowing about it.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Everyone’s got it backwards. The R leadership dragged HIM to Camp David to tell him how transferring the Presidency to Pence is going to work. You read it here first.

    • This I honestly believe

      • Phried Ω

        Becuz telling him before hand is SMRT.

    • The GOP leadership doesn’t have the balls to do that. More likely than not, they’re spending the majority of their time tongue licking Trump while Putin is on conference call giving them their marching orders for 2018.

    • SDGeoff3

      That would be nice.

      • No, it would not be.
        They now have their tax scam firmly in place and a nice scape goat. What is left? Ushering in the christo-fascist regime.
        It would not be nice. For any of us.

        • The Wanderer

          If Trump gets nudged aside for a Christian Fascist regime, I’m renaming Mike Pence “Engelbert Dollfuss” in my memory.

        • HooverVilles

          THIS!

      • HooverVilles

        No. Pence would try to bring in a state religion.

        Mike Pence: ‘I’m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican — in that order’

        Not stated but obvious from what Pence left out is that our country is last.
        In other words, what is important to Pence is,
        1) Christian,
        2) CONservative,
        3) Republican,
        4) American.
        In that order.

        • SDGeoff3

          Don’t get snark much? So sorry.

          • HooverVilles

            No I got it. I just didn’t reply to the snark properly.

  • Wait, is that an ASL interpreter in the back? Is someone there deaf?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Government meetings require this. Nanny state, you know.

      • Do they? I do not recall ever seeing one before at anything but a press thingy thing.
        You know, for the public.
        Also missing is the blondie from the earlier shot

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      just tone deaf

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    LORAX 2020: SMART? TOTES MAGOTES! STABLE? CRAY CRAY ADORBS!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VV52m_wpgQ

  • Bill D. Burger
    • SDGeoff3

      Very good!

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • james crubb

      Beavis libelz!
      There is no AC/DC going on in the Whackhouse, though there is a lot of whacking off, one giant toolshed.

  • greyXstar

    Deffos not insane.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Soooo the stupid tweets et al are now SOP- Drop shit on a friday and then distract the media with bullshit until Monday
    When is the NYT going to do THAT graph?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Maggie is too busy telling MoDo to write something snarky about Hillary

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    LORAX 2020: THE HOTTEST HOTTIE TO EVER HOTTIE!

  • h4rr4r

    “being, like, really smart”
    -45

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I can pictur him sayin g this out loud. Seeing it in writing makes me wish he were capable of making fun of himself.

  • bbayliss

    Dear GOP, you own this shit and I will
    NEVER FORGET

    • Daniel

      Yeah, but about two thirds of the rest of the country will. And most likely already has.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and that’s our real problem- the stupid people won, because they outnumber us

      • Not if we do not let them this time.
        We all know who they are. We can all do our part to remind them constantly.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        They forgot in 1980, 1984, 1988, 2000, 2004, and 2016.

    • jesterpunk
    • HooverVilles

      ^^^THIS^^^

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TJ Barke

    There’s no bottom anymore.

    • There’s a bottom, TJ. We merely punched right through it and are now in a free fall

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        I feel like I’m copying you by slightly changing my name in response to derp. If I get any compliments, I will give you credit!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Can I say how much I appreciate you keeping the “Jen”?

        • And the sheep!
          Though war on christmas demon sheep needs to be retired

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          It helps

    • Jennifer R

      There is always more, and it is always worse.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Well, I bet Pence is a bottom

      • TJ Barke

        He’s a power bottom.

        • Daniel

          Power hungry bottom.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Nailed it

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Coffee Spewed on the Keyboard Award

      • HogeyeGrex
    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      It’s a black hole of stupid.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Stupid all the way down

    • HooverVilles

      Did the GOTP ever have a bottom that they could not go through?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese

    The phrase “beyond parody” gets thrown around a lot these days…

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      It’s hard to be in the parody business today when we seem to live in a parody.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DrBigHead

    I was a small child during the Cuban Missile Crisis, but I do remember the concern on my paren’t faces and experienced drills to prepare for a nuclear war. I was still young, but much more aware in 1968, when family members were fighting in SW Asia, American political figures were being assassinated on our soil, and there were riots in the streets of many American cities. I was approaching full political consciousness during Watergate, and remember everyone stopping at the hardware store I worked at to listen to Nixon resign. All snark aside, I am more frightened now for our country than I have been in my entire life.

    • So…OHJB on the PBS last night said we were closer to Nuclear war than any point in our history. And Judy did not contradict him even a little.

      • DrBigHead

        I’m afraid I agree.

        • Courser_Resistance

          I’m *almost* to the point of, ‘Go ahead and fucking nuke us and get it over with! At least then I’ll be dead or I can focus on survival.’

      • puredog

        What’s she going to say: “You’re wrong! There were no back-channel communications going on during the Cuban Missile Crisis! It was JFK, toe-to-toe with the Russkies!”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Are you me?

      • DrBigHead

        Not unless there are two of us…

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I don’t discount anything these days.

      • Daniel

        Earnest Hemmingway gave us “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”.
        Philip K Dick went 50% better and gave us the quote in your comment.

        • puredog

          “Are you me” is an imperfect backronym for “RUM.” Works for me.

    • Ellie

      I grew up hiding under my school desk (duck and cover), but I am more afraid now than back then. Then, I trusted the grown ups who were running the country, and was quite sure that the one to be afraid of was Russia. Now, we have a narcissistic loony running things backed up by the entire Republican Party, bragging about the size of his button.

      • Courser_Resistance

        AND Russia! Yay!

        • DrBigHead

          There was a story today on NPR about plans by the Venezuelan and Russian governments to develop a national cryptocurrency. One advantage is that it would make financial transactions virtually untraceable. Then for damn sure the oligarchs will have won

      • HooverVilles

        Yeah, I remember the duck and cover drills. Also pamphlets, titled how to construct a bomb shelter, were distributed to the students to take home to their parents.

        • DrBigHead

          There were houses in my neighborhood that had bomb shelters. Was one of the options offered by the builder. Not many people took them up on it, bit a few of my friend’s families did.

          • lunar62

            There was a high school across the street from my childhood home that had a sign indicating it was a fallout shelter. I decided I’d rather die in the comfort of my own home instead of in a crowded shelter with strangers. I knew none of us would’ve survived anyway.

            What a way to grow up.

          • SigDeFlyinMonky
        • Ellie

          Never had a pamphlet; possibly because we were city dwellers, and nobody had room for a shelter.

    • The Librarian

      Right there with you.

    • Courser_Resistance

      We’re about the same age then.

      I haven’t been able to eat since early yesterday. This isn’t good.

      • DrBigHead

        The other day I re-read Lewis Thomas’s Essay “Late Night Thoughts on Listening to Mahler’s Ninth Symphony”. After past reads I came away somewhat hopeful. This time, not so much.

    • lunar62

      Wow – I thought I was the only one. The missile crisis changed me forever but I’ve actually grown more optimistic in the last few years. Now I fully realize we will always be just one power hungry idiot away from destruction.

      • DrBigHead

        For me, what makes this situation more frightening is that one of the main political parties is fully complicit in the madness. This is so far beyond policy differences. Trump is dangerous. He is mentally unfit. And no one is doing a goddamn thing about it.

    • bbayliss

      Malcolm X, MLK, and Bobby Kennedy assassinated, cities on fire, the national guard on campus killing people,
      and that was after the missile crisis; the first time in my life I ever saw my parents truly afraid, speaking in whispers.
      We survived all that but none of it felt like an existential threat to democracy.
      This is a true turning point.

      • DrBigHead

        Yes, because IMO, during those earlier periods the US was not being run by a political party that was, to a man, willfully ignorant of what was going on.

        • bbayliss

          Willfully treasonous.
          Joe Scarborough stole Malcolm Nance’s conceit that the founders foresaw the possibility of an unqualified president, but could not imagine an unqualified congress.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • pgarayt

    “If you have to tell people you’re the King, you’re no King.” Game of thrones.

    • Daniel

      “I’m sorry, I got your first name- Stephen, right?- but what was your surname again?”
      “…”

  • yyyaz

    With all the assholes at that table today, the number of indictments Mueller could file for conspiracy to obstruct justice has exceeded a practical limit. IOW, the fix is in, the probe will be killed, cremated and swept under a very dirty carpet, and our democracy will be disconnected from life support.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yup. The FBI caved and will let Nunes see all their notes, records, interviews. IOW, the entire case. DOJ is caving, too.

      There’s no one to save us, I don’t have the $$ to re-apply for my passport for another week. I hope I won’t be too late to get it.

  • bbayliss

    https://twitter.com/brianstelter
    Here are the RNC’s weekend talking points about Michael Wolff’s book. (A source shared these with me)

    • Did not link for me

      • bbayliss

        It’s Brian Stelters twitter acct, you have to scroll down.
        I’m dumb and don’t know how to make it show up here from over there.
        The tubes must be clogged.

        • Stupid gremlins in the tubes!

        • puredog

          That’s “apostrophe s” Stelter’s, but Google saved me.

      • Zippy W Pinhead
        • BMW

          needz moar emails and uranium one.

        • Red Richmond

          Page 2 of talking points is just

          1. BUT HER EMAILS

          2. HER URANIUMS

          3. BENGHAAAZI

          4. FBI CRIMES NO COLLUSION SHES THE COLLUSION FBI IS COLLUSION FUSION COLLUSION ARRRGLLLLWHAARRRGGBBBBLLEEEbestbrain

          repeated over and over with some unidentifiable grundlestains smeared on top.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Rubber/glue defense. Got it.
          Also too, nitpick the details but don’t dispute the overall narrative, viz. DJT is A Idiot.

      • puredog

        Try this (still, must scroll down, but it’s worth the scroll for the things you will encounter en route):
        https://twitter.com/brianstelter?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

  • jesterpunk
  • Raan

    So, what’s the over-under on this being Trump’s Apalachin meeting?

    • wait! what?

      (Shrugs)

      But if Donald were to mysteriously “end” at Camp David then I think we need to call David’s camp, Shangri la, again…

      • weighmaster

        Maybe someone will take him fishing.

        • wait! what?

          I’d love to hear his hail Mary’s:

          “Not many people now this but Mary didn’t eat very well so she had a lot of indigestion, which is why we say hail Mary, full of gas.”

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Of course, since everything Trump says is a lie, the only other option is that he won because there are just enough people out there who are as stupid as he is.

  • jesterpunk
  • Manhattan123
  • folderol

    To be fair, Trump has a genius for making himself look like an idiot. Nobody, but nobody, is better at it.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, David. On one hand, I am certain this is mystifying for you. On the other hand, you help build legitimacy for our first mentally challenged President in modern memory, and his wars that have killed millions of innocent people. Did you somehow think the Conservative movement could only get better from there?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Was at the gym and saw these two asshats filling in for Velshi and Ruhle. I thought I was watching Fox News. The were talking about the benefits of deregulation and the stock market being so great. Who the fuck are these two asshats?

  • Me not sure

    “I do things proper.” he said improperly.

  • Daniel

    How many ellipses does he think he needs?

    • jesterpunk

      AOT,K?

    • commatoes

      Is it just me or does anyone else imagine Dolt rereading his tweets out loud and actually saying, “dot, dot, dot,”?

  • sosuume

    Like, genius. Like, OMG. That’s like, totally bitchin’.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Like, fer sher.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      And the Iraq such as.

      • sosuume

        LOL!

  • TJ Barke

    resident evil 7 is pretty fucking fantastic. The atmosphere it creates is superb.

    • Jennifer R

      It looks like what I always wanted Silent HIll 4 to be.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Don’t make me go out and buy a PS4, dammit!

      • TJ Barke

        Do it. Do iiiiiiiiit.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          You’re a bad influence TJ.

          • Jennifer R

            You can also get Bloodborne and the eventual sequel.

          • TJ Barke

            Smoke pot, play video games, eat chocolate!

    • Courser_Resistance

      It’s times like this that I wish I’d taken up video gaming of some sort. Blowing up a bunch of shit virtually could be cathartic. I have guns but ammo is expensive and I don’t have the scratch. Don’t have money for video games now either, so I guess I’ll install the new vacuum cleaner belt and vacuum the living room.

      • AJ Milne

        I find mopping the bathroom floors especially vehemently…

        … gets them clean.

      • commatoes

        There are often free to play demos. I found walking around a FPS in “god mode” with nothing but an axe oddly therapeutic. I saw a YT video list of video games that can be played with cheap out of date equipment. Basically a $50 system.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Origin the company that makes the game I help make mods for has free game give-aways called on the house. the entire game is free and you download it on your computer and it is yours. They do this with older games to raise interest in the new releases. That is how I happen to get the game I mod, dragon Age for free, when they released Inquisition. You just sign up for an account and keep checking the offers. They only give-away one game at a time usually for a couple of months right now it is Plants vs Zombies. here is a link https://www.origin.com/usa/en-us/store/free-games/on-the-house

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • jesterpunk

      I cant even imagine that happening.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Ssshh. Right now I am trying to fap to the idea of Obama fomenting a coup and brutally punishing dissenters (with votes!) and coming back into power for another 8 years.

  • Daniel

    As always, it gets worse.

    “I went to the best colleges, or college,” he began. “I went to — I had a situation where I was a very excellent student, came out and made billions and billions of dollars, became one of the top business people. Went to television and for ten years was a tremendous success, as you probably have heard. Ran for president one time and won.”

    • TJ Barke

      Ran for president twice. First time he didn’t even get the nom.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Marion in Savannah

      Ima not gonna watch him. Is he foaming at the mouth yet?

      • Daniel

        He’s wittering like his brain is porridge and his script is being read through a haze of hallucinogens.

    • jesterpunk

      That isnt what his professor said.

      https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/former-wharton-professor-trump-was-dumbest-gddam-student-i-ever-had

      Professor Kelley told me 100 times over three decades that “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.” I remember his emphasis and inflection — it went like this: “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddamn student I ever had.” Kelley told me this after Trump had become a celebrity, but long before he was considered a political figure. Kelley often referred to Trump’s arrogance when he told the story that Trump came to Wharton thinking he already knew everything.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      You know Barack ran one time and won too. I mean who was the last president that ran and didn’t win? Was it Bush Sr. or Saint Raygun?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Bush Sr. didn’t make 2nd Term. Before that, it was Jimmy Carter.

        • Daniel

          But they won in their first election, right?

        • Phried Ω

          Winning the first time out is fairly normal. Clinton, Kennedy, Eisenhower, FDR. I’m not counting those that assumed office under accession.

    • bbayliss

      Such a tremedous success that no one would loan him a penny?

    • Me not sure

      It is colleges. He was at Fordham for two years, and the University of Pennslyvania’s Wharton school for two years, where he graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in real estate. One of his professors at Wharton described him as “the DUMBEST goddamned student that I EVER had!”

  • Donna Mueller

    fkkkkng moron

  • chascates

    Former Wharton Professor: “Donald Trump Was the Dumbest Goddam Student I Ever Had.”
    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/10/12/1705902/-Former-Wharton-Professor-Donald-Trump-Is-the-Dumbest-Goddam-Student-I-Ever-Had

    Professor Kelley told me 100 times over three decades that “Donald Trump
    was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.” I remember his emphasis
    and inflection — it went like this — “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.” Dr. Kelley told me this after Trump had become a celebrity but
    long before he was considered a political figure. Dr. Kelley often
    referred to Trump’s arrogance when he told of this — that Trump came to
    Wharton thinking he already knew everything.

  • tinker12

    Saw a Tweet from Rob Reiner that said something like: The last stable genius was Mr. Ed (the talking horse) who actually used full sentences much better than Trump.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Donnie is a talking horse’s ass.

  • goonemeritus

    I started 2017 thinking well I should at least try to show the office of the Presidency some respect. One week into 2018 I’m thinking it’s time to give Anarcho-syndicalism a chance.

  • SadDemInTex

    Interesting fact: Pavarotti, who was one of the greatest tenors of the 20th century, was completely illiterate. (I know this for sure from one of the people who was helping take care of him during a concert series). If he was looking at a “musical score” he was really looking at a paper with crayon drawings which helped him know where he was in a song. It was suspected that one of the reasons he could only sing Italian operas was that his mental capacity precluded him from learning anything in a foreign language (even by rote an opera is very long and complex). 45 is not only illiterate but he has a pretty low IQ (not the first president to be a dumb as a rock) like Pavarotti but ….Pavarotti was given a truly great gift…a voice of surpassing power and glorious tenorissimo (my own word). As far as I can see 45 had only money (which he has used to probably buy all his school work/college tests among other disgusting cheating). He is the ipitome of the Ugly American in every possible way…vulgar, ignorant, gauche, and personally disgusting in every way. I hope Melania divorces him the minute he is out of office and gets what money can be extracted from him…not because I like her…just because I’d like to see her high heel marks all over his face).

    • Christopher Story

      And change her and Barron’s last name to her maiden name. Completely erase him from their lives.

      • (((Aron)))

        That poor, poor little boy :'(

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Witness Protection Program …

        • JaveyDay

          Witless Projection Pogrom

    • Phried Ω

      She is counting on contesting the will and winning bigly in probate. It can’t be long now.

  • bbayliss

    The only success this asshole has had that I can think of is being a better mouthpiece for Putin than Orly Taitz.

    • Phried Ω

      I’m still surprised Oily wasn’t nominated for Surgeon General.

      • Or Attorney General.

        • Phried Ω

          or both. Shrink the bloated bureaucracy.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Nixon: *tapes incriminating conversations in the Oval Office*

    Trump White House: “Good thing we’re not as stupid as Nixon!”

    Also Trump White House: *allows outside reporter to record literally everything going on in the West Wing*

    Trump White House: :”We are much, much stupider than Nixon!”

  • WilbyToad

    “We are now the oldest surviving presidential and vice presidential team in American history,” Mondale said. “Eight years ago we surpassed Adams and Jefferson. We’re still going. I think in a few years, they’ll retire the trophy.”–Walter Mondale

    Jimmy Carter, 93 & Walter Mondale, 90.

    http://bloggingforliberty.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/carter-mondale-2.jpg
    https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/10/21/us/21firstdraft-carter/21firstdraft-carter-tmagArticle.jpg
    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210065975

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Mondale looks like Oskar Werner.

      • Phried Ω

        You mean Fritz.

  • Reximus
    • JaveyDay

      He’s always in a derp state of concentration.

    • OutOfOrbit

      This pic says all we need to know

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • jesterpunk

      But twitter said they wont ban Trump because he “starts conversations” with his tweets, so why is he blocking people including veterans groups?

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        My understanding is that his blocking is illegal, but who’s gonna stop him? Of course, Twitter could disable the block feature for their special class of world leaders (that they won’t censure for hate speech), but don’t hold your breath.

  • jesterpunk

    The right is so mad that the CDC is teaching people what to do during a nuclear war because “ZOMG POLITICS AND THEY SHOULDNT TALK ABOUT WEAPONS, THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE OUR GUNS”.

    • Donna Mueller

      i’m gonna jump under my desk, away from the windows.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Not talking about nuclear war should work as well as forbidding them to keep records on gun violence.

  • JMP

    Citation needed.

  • Tetman Callis

    This Trump administration has been an interesting and often entertaining experiment, America, but let’s say we don’t do anything like this again.

  • gallbladder
    • Daniel

      Larson certainly got the arse right.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    A genius would know intelligence and stability speak for themselves.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Like, amazing.

      • Phried Ω

        Did Duterte just fall off the cliff?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        THE HOKEY POKEY, PEOPLE!!! DUH! “WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT”??!

      • Daniel

        Why does he always like to look like he’s roaring?

        • puredog

          He likes to look like he’s cumming, but is unclear on the concept.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Like that strange person yesterday, who is campaigning for Jeff Flake’s seat. Were you here when he came on the thread and described himself as a genius? I was embarrassed for him.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I read some of it. It was a mess. Spare us, Revenge Porn.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I particularly enjoyed him referring to himself as a genius and a nice guy. Yes, the whole revenge-porn thing really cancelled that notion for me.

  • Ωbjectifier

    That didn’t take long.
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078TYTSBX

    • Tetman Callis

      Making America Great Again.

      • gallbladder

        And stable!

    • Phried Ω

      Traveling at the speed of commerce.

    • NastyBossetti

      I think it loses something without the “very.” Waiting for a version that says, “Very stable genius” instead.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Did Donnie Dumbass pivot yet? Enquiring minds want to know … !

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Why Chelsea Clinton is Chelsea Clinton and Dinesh D’Souza (and Matt Yglesias, and Josh Barro, and Annie Karni, and…) are not.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6368b2e30878984128a5b0a0c364670cb403e9d3bc8ced22e3b8bdd7866728fd.png

  • Donna Mueller

    stable genius-i’ve always known that NOBODY can shovel the shhhhhhhhht like a trump!!!!

  • Ron Spangler

    I used to use the Wile E. Coyote thing. Now you’ve ruined it forever. Thanks a lot.

  • Donna Mueller

    when is bannon going to talk to mueller-not me, the other one???

    • jesterpunk

      I think Mueller may have already talked to him.

      • Jennifer R

        It will happen again.

  • commatoes

    dumb as shit

    A steaming pile of horse manure is feeling really offended right now.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      As is the horse’s ass from whence it came.

      • Pisto75666

        It’s been a really tough month for horses.

        • Courser_Resistance

          At least they’re regular?

          • Pisto75666

            I guess that’s something.

      • commatoes

        I thought Sean Spicer quit.

        Oh right… that’s what you meant.

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    “..being, like, really smart.”

    shut the fuck up fredo…you’re nothing to me now

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Hail Mary, full of grace.

  • Treg Brown
    • Dudleydidwrong

      Is a “Sloppy Steve” something like a “sloppy second?”

      • Jon Sussex

        I think he’s been humped by a dog if I’m reading that correctly.

        • puredog

          Isn’t there a Putin meme to that effect?

    • puredog

      As has been noted elsewhere, “dumped like a dog,” recalling as it does Drumpf’s hatred of dogs, may be the most appalling thing about this quote. (Full disclosure: I love dogs.)

      • james crubb

        Yeah, the lamestream media left the charming dog reference out, it’ s funny how they hold back on his most repugnant extremes, almost like they are scared, prolly of Murdoch, dick buddy of DT’s.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Release those tapes, Mr. Wolff!

      • commatoes


        At this point, nothing is implausible.

        Funny and fake story about Trump’s fascination with television.

        Trump’s Gorilla Channel.

        I am still hoping that this is all an elaborate art piece starring Peter Sellers.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Niagara Falls!”

    • Shan

      I love her!

    • Daniel

      Someone on that thread is trying to out bitch her.

      I fear this will not go well.

      • Shan

        Ooh, now I have to go look!

    • commatoes

      Channeling William Carlos Williams.

      I applaud you madame!!!

      Brava!!!

  • memzilla Ω
    • Holiday Bozi

      Mr. Ed/Wilbur 2020!
      The Constitution does not prohibit a horse from being elected President. We already have the horse’s ass as President.

      • commatoes

        Can we start making parallels between Trump and Caligula now?

    • commatoes

      I was a stable for a performance art piece once.

      A genius? I wouldn’t be so presumptuous.

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Tony Prost

      expect Zinke to open the the coastal shelf to whale oil extraction soon

      • commatoes

        He will try to sell it as an “organic” sources of hydrocarbons?

  • Evidence-based Ugly Dude

    A VERY stable genius. It’s the adverb that really sells it.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      My boys are currently barking at imaginary threats in the yard. Couple of stable geniuses.

      • Shan

        When I was a kid, we had an Irish Setter who used to go “point” and bark at random noisy things like fluttering bags. It was funny except when it was 3AM.

        http://ultimateupland.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/irishsetterMYTHODICAL.jpg

        • Daniel

          And as we all know, 3am is eternal.

          • Shan

            She was otherwise a very good doggie, though.

          • Jonny On Maui

            The Hour of the Wolf never ends…

          • Courser_Resistance

            I woke up at 3 am this morning. On a fucking Saturday! I loathe whatever-hell-we’re-in with the heat of a million suns.

          • DrBigHead

            I think the hell we are in is our 60s :)

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Were you ever attacked and killed by a fluttering bag in the dead of night? No? Dog vindicated!

          • Shan

            Ha! Good point!

        • DrBigHead

          My grandfather always had an Irish Setter for a field dog. Beautiful animals but I think their collective IQ was less than my current terrier mutt.

          • Arolpin

            My best friend growing up had two Irish setters, neither of which was very bright. The male took chasing cars to an entirely new level, to the point that if they went shopping in the next town, they would often come out to find the dog waiting at the car. It was 15 miles to the nearest town, and 25 miles to the nearest mall, but he would be there.
            The same dog would just disappear sometimes, and show up 2-4 weeks later hungry, bedraggled, and exhausted. They would give him some food, he would sleep for a day, and then act like nothing happened.
            Beautiful dogs, but DAMN they were dumb. (Even dumber than the English Setter we had. She killed a chicken, so we tied the carcass around her neck. Every other dog quickly comes to hate the dead chicken and stays away from any chicken. This dumb dog just figured it was a really convenient snack and ate the damn thing from around her neck.)

          • Shan

            The one we had was very smart. Maybe because she didn’t meet the breeder’s standards, which is how we ended up getting her.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          All Irish Setters point at Leprechauns. They see more than their owners. Irish Setter for President!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Milo & Iggy for POTUS and VP!

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Daddy will provide.

  • Reximus
    • Shan

      “Why did the accusers wait 40 years to speak up, henngh?!”

    • puredog

      I gave a small donation, even though they have met their limits. Courage should not go unrewarded. If they can rebuild their house and also, for example, do that kitchen upgrade they’ve been talking about for five years, it’s the least a grateful nation can do for them.

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Ωbjectifier

      “And in theory, everybody tells me I’m not under investigation.”

      People are telling you that theoretically or people are telling you it’s a theory?

      I shouldn’t try to figure this stuff out, gives me a headache.

  • WilbyToad

    The look on Mike Pence’s face as Trump defends his sanity at Camp David shows he knows how incredibly pathetic this charade of competency is. The posturing of the whole damn Republican party is pathetic. And if we can’t blue wave these ego gluttonous cretins off the political map, then we’re pathetic too.

    Woke up ornery, think I’ll stay that way.

    • puredog

      It’s the only way to be.

  • Gayer Than Thou
    • Edith Prickly

      OUCH. Jedi master shade is the worst…

      • Noxious Resistance

        AND the best.

    • Doug Langley

      It’s impossible tor read this without hearing it in Joker’s voice.

    • Shan
      • Master Contrail Program

        Hell, a direct quote seems appropriate:

        “Terrorists never stop think about ways to harm America, and neither do we.”

      • TundraGrifter

        I would have bet the ranch we wouldn’t have another President as inarticulate as George Bush (43).

        “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” ~ George W. Bush

        • Shan

          I remember that one. What a wreck.

          • Lord Jim

            So, Shan, how do you put food on your family?

          • Shan

            Eh?

          • Lord Jim

            It’s another bushism.

          • puredog

            I find that a trowel provides the best food-family interface.

        • jesterpunk

          “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

          • TundraGrifter

            Is our children learning?

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            More then our Preznit is.

          • james crubb

            Sweet potato Hitler is a Bush plant to make Bush the younger look prezinential.
            One time in Australia smok’n J Biden said the grandeur of the office would straighten DT’s up, oops.

            JB apparently thinking of Prez run, ffs no ffs.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Biden was assuming it would be like normal politicians and assuming Trump would realize the responsibility that came with the office like everyone else did.

          • james crubb

            Yeah sure but who could see DT’s as ever a person of public service.
            Joe’s failure to see the rise of trump disqualifies him to run, but as ever I have faith in my leftist brethren to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
            New blood ffs.

        • Ωbjectifier

          It was a simpler, more innocent time.

        • Phried Ω

          Not Roger Daltrey?

      • divegrl

        Actually, I think Mark Twain, aka Samuel Clements, said that.

      • Daniel

        The only thing, and I will tell you this. It is the thing, and I have heard you know many people say that it’s the thing, only, so there’s this definitely, a one hundred per cents. It’s fear. It is fear. Fear themselves. I don’t, I’m the most brave, very brave- I get calls from the army all the time, astronauts too I will say that, I will say that, that I am not fear. But you- lots of fear but it’s of one thing just how can you even be frightened of fear?

        • Shan

          More Bushisms?

    • miss_grundy

      The Force is strong with this one.

  • Edith Prickly

    Just going to remind everyone about this…

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/332308211321425920

    • JaveyDay

      At least he almost got the “,it’s” right.

      • TundraGrifter

        That looks OK to me, but I would have used “;” instead of “,[.]”

        • Phried Ω

          But still no space after the punctuation?

    • SadDemInTex

      Yeah…I wonder how much he paid the guy who took the test.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I don’t understand why he didn’t take more time to point out how very, very classy he is.

      • commatoes

        I hear his turds come out covered in gold leaf with Rococo ornamentation. Contrary to outward appearances of the rest of him, Dolt 45’s rectum and sphincter are quite talented.

        • SDGeoff3

          Le Pétomane talented?

          • commatoes

            That man was a titan in the realm of sphincter control.

            And he performed live!!! On stage!!!

            Dolt is merely a dilettante with slightly higher than average aptitude in his rectal muscle control. Dolt’s rectal art is mere spectacle; gaudy flourishes with a carnival quality that lacks the artistic purity of Le Pétomane flatulent creations. Le Pétomane created the eternal and universal sensations from the most ephemeral medium.

            I knew Le Pétomane. Trump sir, is no Le Pétomane.

    • commatoes

      Maybe he accidentally put his IQ into the Celsius to Fahrenheit conversion formula?

    • MizzMazz

      Soooo, let’s get the numbers, a copy of the test you ‘took’ and at the same time, release your taxes.
      BTW, the IQ test isn’t really an indicator of anything other than how to take that test. It’s like the Canadian Girlfriend.

    • puredog

      One might almost begin to believe there was a previous trumptweet for every occasion. Nah. . . .can’t be.

    • miss_grundy
  • SadDemInTex

    I feel sad on the weekends because the Wonkette crew has to have some decompression time and I’m in withdrawal from getting to read a bunch of articles every hour. So I have to read books to forget about the world and decompress when I want to read the fabulous writers of Wonkette.

    • Phried Ω

      What’s the matter? Non-comments aren’t good enough for you?

      • SadDemInTex

        Non-comments are awesome. I just am sometimes not into some of the digressions about topics other than politics or the human condition/resist/whatever. I simply could not get into that long thread on 90s music. I love music of all kinds (I am a professional musician) but I just could not get into it. I wanted to hear more stuff about what was happening at Camp David/ stable genius and the snarky stuff related to the Wolff book. Or even more stuff on douche bros. I’ve been on vacation.

        • Phried Ω

          I agree and there was some pretty good observations in between the tune links but it is hard to find.

        • SDGeoff3

          Crooks and Liars is a pretty fun place too.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Superfriends announcer voice: MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOO—–*cough* CAMP DAVID!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b1146c507e86b168f30e17c06711d50475dbc193e803526c02d3e045e87b0109.jpg

    • Royal Ugly Stable Genius

      Black Manta mumbled something about pyramids and grain, then dozed off.

  • Edith Prickly

    Also reposting because this is never not funny. https://youtu.be/-41fbDYZyLo

    • SDGeoff3

      It almost makes me like Josh Groban.

  • Lefty Wright

    When I hear the words “stable genius” in reference to Trump, I think of a braying jackass in a barn.

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    Hey, Donnie Two Scoops: Smart people don’t need to tell everyone how smart they are. Does Stephen Hawking need to remind the world of his brilliance? Just sayin’.

    • Kooolest G

      also smart people don’t describe themselves as “like” really smart

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Yes, but the trumpencezees don’t even begin to comprehend how over the top brilliant Stephen Hawking is. They just see his wheelchair.

  • WilbyToad
    • Courser_Resistance

      Goddamnit! I was hoping to do something else tonight!

      Fall of Democracy is NOT on my fucking viewing list!

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Yeah! Dammit … I have fucking LAUNDRY to do! I can’t fold clothes AND witness the disgraceful failure of democracy AT THE SAME TIME!

        • Courser_Resistance

          It’s all so… absurd, or maybe ‘banal’ is the word I’m looking for. I’ve been up since 3 am cuz, can’t sleep. It’s been kinda like this:

          Me, after taking in the morning’s events: We are soooooo fucked. This is it, the end of everything…

          ….
          ‘Welp, guess I’ll vacuum. ??????’

          Yeah, it’s just nuts.

          • puredog

            “Where’s my Hannah Arendt??!?!”

      • DrBigHead

        Unlike Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre, I don’t believe anyone in the current Republican Party would do a damn thing.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Agreed. We’re going out with a whimper.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Will it be a reprise of The Night of the Long Knives or a new version, The Night of The Applied Mental Stability?

    • commatoes

      Trump is just flipping out because someone will have to read the book to him at bedtime and there are not pictures.. Bannon talking? Donny is sad that he no longer feels each puff of breath on his ear lobe when Bannon used to whisper. Jared cowering… only if Ivanka is in the room. Sessions feeling pressure… just realising that the “big boy” pants do not fit him.

  • Holiday Bozi

    “Real Genius” movie to be remade as “Very Stable Genius”. The role of Kent to be reprised by newcomer Donnie Trump.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyZ4gGCCqss

    • Edith Prickly

      “This is Jesus Donnie, and you’ve been a VERY NAUGHTY BOY.”

      • Lord Jim

        “STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF.”

    • commatoes

      Who doesn’t eat Jello™ naked?

  • Master Contrail Program

    Idk about genius but he’s awesome at Jeopardy! Not even Ken Jennings had the world wondering what he’d do next.

    • bbayliss

      This is what Ken Jennings is doing:
      “Omnibus is an encyclopedic reference work of strange-but-true stories from Jeopardy’s Ken Jennings and musician John Roderick.”
      https://www.omnibusproject.com/

      • Master Contrail Program

        “Strange but true” is the nicest way to say anything about the last 14 months.

        • puredog

          That sounds like a deeply Seconalian take.

  • Doug Langley

    So what do other people think about the book?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUz_MRN-83E

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Best line from that monologue? “I’m dizzy from the stupid.”

  • TundraGrifter

    “…my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.”

    That might well be true. It’s a pretty low bar. Personally, I’d say in terms of what has made him a self-described “success,” having the business ethics of a bankrupt carnival operator (h/t Ross Thomas) and being a endless self-promoter have been much bigger factors.

    • Daniel

      I went to the best colleges, or college. I went to — I had a situation where I was a very excellent student, came out and made billions and billions of dollars, became one of the top business people. Went to television and for ten years was a tremendous success, as you probably have heard. Ran for president one time and won. And then I hear this guy that does not know me, doesn’t know me at all, by the way, did not interview me — he said he interviewed me for three hours in the White House. It didn’t exist, okay. It’s in his imagination. … I consider it a work of fiction. And I think it’s a disgrace that somebody is able to have something, do something like that. The libel laws are very weak in this country. If they were strong, it would be very helpful. You wouldn’t have things like that happen where you can say whatever comes to your head.

      The President is again saying he hates the first amendment and wants to limit free speech when it upsets his feelings.

      • TootsStansbury

        But that last sentence.

        • Daniel

          I wonder how his birtherism is categorised under his libel-law dreams.

          • TJ Barke

            IOKIYAR.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Well, that clears it up. His tweets are the product of many hours of rumination and pondering. It is only after such creative activity that his long, slender, educated fingers touch his keyboard.

          And I’m the emperor of Silesia.

          • commatoes

            I think you are excluding the effects of his diet. If he just utilized an effective bulk fibre supplement, it would cut those hours down considerably.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        He has tapes, Uncle Dotard…

      • TootsStansbury

        Oh and can I add: i hate that defensive “Okay”, he sneerls it, it’s awful.

        • puredog

          Given the monumentality of ALL of his other actions, I’d say that’s a snowflakey response. And I say that both in love and as a fellow pedant.

          • TootsStansbury

            I’m no snowflake, kemosabe.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The “President” also forgets he’s a public figure, and standard libel laws do not equally apply to public figures. Sorry, dumbass, we can call you a dumbass to the public and there isn’t much you can do.

        • puredog

          Well, that’s just libtard NYT v. Sullivan stuff. We can fix that, can’t we, Neil?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        All while pretending to be aggrieved by Iran’s crackdown on the protest.

        BTW, Nikki, this is not A Thing you wanna call a special session in the U.N. for. Take it away, French Ambassador:

        http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/united-nations-security-council-us-ambassador-nikki-haley-iran-protests-russia-black-lives-matter-a8145271.html?amp

        He asked rhetorically why the Security Council had not taken up the issue of Black Lives Matter protests in Ferguson, Missouri, which were at times also met with a violent police response.

        • commatoes

          I am sure that the polite words were spoken in a dismissive tone.

          The French do cultured burns expertly.

        • PersianOregano

          I for one would welcome international monitoring of our elections.

      • Lord Jim

        Ran for President once? So who was that other Donald Trump who ran for President all those other times?

      • puredog

        My eyebrow-raising takeaway is his rejection of “say[ing] whatever comes to your head.” Perhaps he wants to become the first mute President.

  • His one greatest asset is that his dad was molto rico.

    • bupkus231
      • Jennaratrix

        I can’t believe I watched that. Apparently I wanted to be reminded of exactly how much I hated the early 90s.

    • commatoes

      Worst asset then was his ability to procreate?

  • Master Contrail Program

    I’d love to see Trump diagram all the delectable parts of the roadrunner for us.

    “The crest here is M&M McFlurry, the upper neck a KFC Double Down………..”

  • La forza del resistino

    ‘stable genius’ … smartest gelding in the barn?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      With more nutz than brainz.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Suse

      Drumpf giving the black power fist???

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Few people know that he was born in Nambia.

  • WilbyToad

    John Young dead: Apollo astronaut who walked on the moon dies, aged 87

    “Young flew twice to the Moon, walked on its surface & flew the first Space Shuttle mission.

    “He went to space six times in the Gemini, Apollo & Space Shuttle programs.”

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/john-young-dead-dies-died-astronaut-walk-moon-apollo-space-shuttle-gemini-a8145756.html

    Beautiful video tribute at the link. Godspeed, John Young.

    • Phried Ω

      Probably the best pilot to have ever flown in space. Commander of the very first Shuttle flight. The only man-rated vehicle to have never been preceded by an unmanned flight.

      • don

        It really sucks he had to leave the Earth after seeing the USA circle the drain with Bush Jr. and tRump. Shuttles? Hell, we only build shit that blows people up real good now. Heck with that hippy NASA

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I have great respect for anyone who gets chosen to be an astronaut, but Young and his compatriots did things no-one did before, and that no-one has done since. Can you imagine?

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    A team of New York Times Reporters visited a small town in Alabama after the President ate a live baby on the Hannity Show to demonstrate to his base that he was mentally stable.
    “The Bible mentions human sacrifice” shrugged one man.
    “I don’t see what the big deal was- it was already born” said another person. “Besides, it looked staged- the baby hardly cried at all. And it was kind of brown- probably someone’s anchor baby”.

    • Master Contrail Program

      “When are you going to focus on all the chained up babies in the basement of that pizza parlor?”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “You know Obama and Hillary ate all the babies, and you never hear the lamestream media talk about that.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Like his big brother. Not just an anchor in this country, an anchor in the household where his mother was the help.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    At least one time before Donnie used the “like, real smart” expression. He puts the “like” in there because one of his few remaining neurons knows that he is anything but smart.

    • gallbladder

      Also to appeal to the hip kids.

      • commatoes

        You forgot to put extra emphasis on the.

        Y’know, like the Blacks.

      • handyhippie65

        you mean the ones in the 80’s?

    • commatoes

      Moon Unit?

    • puredog

      Plausible call.

  • TootsStansbury

    Has the internet brought forth a spoof on those real men of genius beer commercials? I am a no-talent troglodyte or I would do it.

  • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️
  • Lefty Wright

    Wonkette needs to update their autocorrect. When referring to Trump advisers, it is not Brain Trust, it is Brain Rust.

    • bbayliss

      Brian trust?

      • Courser_Resistance

        Brian’s not here, man

        • bbayliss

          That reminds me

        • puredog

          Danny’s not here, Mrs. Torrance.

        • Nezrite

          Neither is Dave.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • gallbladder

      At least the onion smells better and serves a purpose.

      • wavicles

        They both make me cry.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Jamoche

    You may think it’s Snowmageddon, but for these animals it’s playtime: http://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-42586688/winter-storm-the-animals-enjoying-snow-more-than-humans

  • Lance Thrustwell

    What gets me is that unnecessary – and usually a verbal tic only – insertion of “…, like, …” into “being really smart”. It’s like he’s trying to troll us.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I wish he were smart enough to be a troll.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • bbayliss

      Perfect.

    • Courser_Resistance

      It’s like a freaking circular firing squad but we’re the losers no matter who comes out on top. I’m running out of synonyms for ‘horrifying’

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Alpha males, woof woof!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      This is yet again MORE proof that Bannon is not the Mental Ninja Brain Thinker Stategerist he wants the world to think he is.

      Bannon seriously thought offering his public support/loyalty would do any good? AFTER he already got tossed under the bus???? What the fuck is wrong with him aside from EVERYTHING?

      This is why we can’t have nice things: because Trumpers Trump has already burned are still trying to muff-dive him. We are so fucking doomed…

    • Jennaratrix

      Who would have thought in a million years that we’d witness a fight between Bannon and Trump, and actually have to pick sides? Yikes.

      • puredog

        NOT, K.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Not picking sides. Going through a lot of popcorn though.

      • Anna in PDX

        Injuries. (With votes)

  • _(Bros)_

    DAMMIT!Oh well, GMTA.

  • bbayliss
    • Zyxomma

      Thanks.

    • miss_grundy

      Thank goodness I chose to watch DIY network today instead of MSNBC. I would have had a conniption.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • La forza del resistino
    • Martini A, very stable genius

      I’m just about at that stage. Who says aging doesn’t have its rewards?

      • bbayliss

        I’m just deaf enough to not have to listen to anything I don’t want to hear.
        Does age bring wisdom or senses diminished enough to fake it?

        • thixotropic jerk

          What?
          ; ^ )

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Me, when I find I can’t lift the tractor any more and need a jack.

  • Herewegoagain

    The poor clown will meltdown. His fragile ego is disintegrating right before our eyes. Donald is a very temporary blip in US politics. He’s a political abortion, and will soon be discarded. He’s already a major embarrassment, but it’ll only get worse; until he resigns or is impeached. The poor lamb is melting down in front of our eyes. Like a carrot cake in the rain .

    • Lord Jim

      Donna Summer, is that you? :)

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Richard Harris libulz!!1!

        • Zyxomma

          And Jimmy Webb libelz, also, too, because he wrote MacArthur Park. I watched him perform it live on TV once. He fucked up and started over.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        I don’t think that I can take it.
        It took so long to bake it.

    • YaJagoff

      “He’s a political abortion”…Too bad this one couldn’t be retro active.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Choose life. In prison.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          <golf clap>

    • miss_grundy

      Uhhh, those of us who voted for the other candidate told you that this clown couldn’t do his job. Heck, he couldn’t even do the job of running his father’s company, which is why he had to go to the Russians for money.

      • Wee Mousie

        Trump and Dubya, two rich men’s sons failing their way upwrd to POTUS, points to something drastically wrong with the process of choosing the American President..

        • miss_grundy

          It points to the weakness of the Electoral College, which gives rural states more representation than more populated states.

          • don

            It was a sop to the slave states. Some things never change.

  • Jenny

    Boyfriend and I laughed at his Zoolander style press conference, then poured more booze into the coffee. 2018 is gonna be ugly. Uuuuuugly.

    • Bammelam

      .. forget the coffee. Just booze

      • Jenny

        I gotta Debbie Reynolds it. For the kids!

        • Bammelam

          OK then . White Russian ( minus the milk )
          Looks like coffee
          .-)

          • Jamoche

            With a side order of “STFU Donnie”

  • Stein Olsen

    I am just counting down until he loses it. The wanna be daughter fucker seems so fragile now. Obama never had to take to twitter to try to convince people he was stable.

    • miss_grundy

      And he never had to tell people that he was smart.

      • puredog

        He also didn’t have to tell people that he was blah, which trumps these observations, I fear.

      • Wee Mousie

        When he was President, people told each how really smart Obama was.

        Now, people are laughing and cringing over how very far from smart Trump is.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        The only people that ever questioned his intelligence could never articulate why they made that statement. Simply repeating “He is stupid.” over and over never proves anything, except limited vocabulary on the part of the speaker.

    • DrBigHead

      I just hope he doesn’t take all of us down with him

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        I am genuinely concerned at this point that he may boot Sessions and install evil corporate lackey, boot-licker Pruitt, and commence a Saturday night massacre. At the moment, it looks as though none of the craven GOP would do anything about it. I cannot believe our democracy is so imperiled right now.

        • miss_grundy

          The GOP may have to do something about it if a tsunami inundates them. Or the Dems could use this as part of their talking points to make the House and Senate bluer. Then, they can turn around and use the public’s ire to have an investigation and come up charges for impeachment.

          • MC Planck

            The GOP will never turn on Trump. Now that Bannon is gone, they control Trump; and Trump controls the base.

            They will cancel elections before they impeach Trump.

    • phoenix00

      He’s already lost it.

      • Stein Olsen

        I mean to the point where they have to remove him from office.

        • phoenix00

          Never. The GOP isn’t done with their fuckery. Trump will shoot someone on 5th Ave and there will be no impeachment nor 25A.

          Either the pee tape comes out and he quits out of embarrassment, or one day some day he’ll suddenly decide he’s tired of this shit and “retires.”

  • handyhippie65

    i find it amusing that in trying to claim he is a genius, dumpy sounds like a dumbass valley girl. “i’m like, really smart.”, is not the best way to describe one’s self as highly intelligent. exactly the opposite, i’d say.

    • miss_grundy

      Also, smart people do not walk around telling everyone within earshot that they are smart.

      • bluicebank

        I’m a really good carpenter.

        Ow.

        • puredog

          I’ll allow it, if (a) someone asked you if you were a good carpenter, and (b) you verifiably are.

        • Wookie Monster

          I’m an excellent driver.

          It’s fifteen minutes to Wapner.

      • dshwa

        One common thing about really smart people is they always have doubts. They know there’s always new information to learn, facts they haven’t come across yet. Certainty is a sign of a dumb person who thinks they’re smart.

        • DrBigHead

          While in graduate school, I was able to successfully pick who would make it through the program. Those that admitted how little they knew now hold Ph.Ds. The ones who believed they knew everything left the program.

          • dshwa

            Thats usually a clue. Smart people also hate being told they’re smart.

          • DrBigHead

            During my tenure, the rightest person in the program by consensus was also the most unassuming. In seminars he knew how to sit and listen and keep his mouth shut until he had fully formulated a thought. I learned a tremendous amount from him.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            That is because there is no such thing as an expert in all things. A wise person knows this.

        • Wee Mousie

          “I can really hold my liquor!” he exclaimed as he threw up into the waste basket for the eleventh time.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          See: Dunning- Kruger!

      • SDGeoff3

        And the same with truly wealthy people.

    • unclejeems

      Again and again, Trump is a a walking, talking, tweeting example of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

    • don

      Valley Girl Libelz!!!1

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • phoenix00

      > Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

      FTFY

  • bluicebank

    Sleeping in on a Saturday, and I missed chance to make fun of the stable genius.

    “Hey genius, you missed some horse shit!”

  • Wee Mousie

    It doesn’t matter how often nor how loud you say you are smart, what matters is how often smart people say you are smart. It is intellect applied to complexities, not lung power applied to vocal chords.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Smart people never have to convince people that they’re smart as their intelligence is self evident.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Something the trumpenczees will never understand.

    • phoenix00

      Or tiny finger power applied to smartphone Twitter app?

  • redarmyzombie

    Wow. I have never seen delusion of this magnitude before. Fucking wow, this dude is scared…

    • miss_grundy

      I think he makes Nixon less scary and that is something.

      • theCryptofishist

        Well, Nixon would have you killed or whatever deliberately. Trump would kill you in all the flailing he does, or maybe as a Thomas a’ Becket thing.

        • dude. hII successfully invaded england at 20, ruled for like 30 years and married the hottest chick in christendom.

          (though TBF, eric and john have a lot in common).

          • theCryptofishist

            Which is why we call him Eric Lackland.

  • AmusedAmused

    Will everybody PLEASE stop misquoting President Trump?? Fake news!

    WONKETTE. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

    President Trump never called anyone “bad hombres”. It’s not “bad hombres”. It’s not even “bad ombres”. It’s “bad hambres”. Hambres. Hambres. Say it.

    Will the Fake Lamestream Fake Media ever stop lying??

    • (((Aron)))

      Mmmmm, I would love a bad hambre croak madamn!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Good point.

      Hambres are, as everybody knows, pig-people.

      And bad ombres are evil shadows. Evil. Shadows. Me and My Shadow. Grey. Black. Schwarze. Obama. Kenya. No birth, you’re the birth. It rocks. Rock. Littel’ Rocket Man.

      • theCryptofishist

        And they wear a special sort of head gear, part homburgs and part sombreros.

    • 3FingerPete

      mmmm…hambres.

    • H0mer0

      Hambre means “hunger” IIRC
      the plural makes no sense

      • AmusedAmused

        You do get that I was being sarcastic, do you? He pronounced it “hambres”.

        • H0mer0

          I knew you were being sarcastic. Also too, I doubt that Trumpf knows much Spanish or cares to pronounce things properly (but then again, that’s what Henry Higgins would say about the American treatment of the English Language.)

  • ez

    So, when is that IQ challenge showdown between Trump and Tillerson going to be on TV?

  • Snowbound Ron

    It’s amazing, how closing one measly little major superhighway can mess up one’s travel plans. The word they used was ‘indefinitely,’ which explains why there were so many semis on the local back roads.
    At least I didn’t need the brandy.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I’m not. like, really smart.

    But I make, like, an effort to learn something every day.

    For instance, stop saying “like” all the time. Also “I’m all like…”

    • Pisto75666

      He’s watched ‘Mean Girls’ too many times.

  • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

    Nothing says “stable genius” like ranting on twitter.

    • TundraGrifter

      Lack of horse sense.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Stable genius: Grooming, like, a horse or something.

      • Pisto75666

        Neighhhhhh, lack of common sense.

  • Bitter Scribe

    How many tweets did Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton send after any of the innumerable right-wing hack hit jobs on them?

    [crickets]

  • thegirlwiththekittentattoo

    Live feed from Camp David, where nothing sinister is going on:

    • 3FingerPete

      Rumblings from twitter are that Trump and friends are holed up at Camp David to finally implement #TheStorm, wherein Hillary and all the Deep State Satan-worshiping pedos are rounded up and sent to Gitmo.

  • Carole
    • Nephilim

      Fist bump for you. First thing I thought of when he says he’s a stable genius.

    • don

      Nah, that guy is doing something helpful, unlike tRump…

  • Saxo the Grammarian
    • SDGeoff3

      Horse’s ass.

      • Trump is being driven to McDonald’s and sees a sign that says “One Way”…

        Trump: One way street? Oh, well that’s okay. I’m only going one way!

  • Carole
    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      What an effing moron. How can he even get his pants on every day?

      • ryp

        It’s pretty obvious he sleeps in his suit.

      • FelineMama

        HAS HELP!!! Someone lays out his clothes, bathes him, shaves & dresses him. Helps him to the potty also, too!!
        Look at his expression here. He is really confused!! Genius!
        LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

    • phoenix00

      Look how tiny those hands are.

      • Mockingbirds

        Not just tiny…DAINTY.

    • don

      That fucking tie….swear the orange turd wears it just to piss us reality-based folks off.

  • Rags

    Who let the (white) woman into the Camp David meeting with all those white guys?

    • Ray in VT

      Should Mother be there, or is it okay as long as other dudes are there?

  • roberteye

    Also not invited to the bunker – Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, leaving a briefcase behind… packed with explosive votes, of course.

    • thixotropic jerk

      “Ich bin ein Turmpführerbomber!”
      (Mit votes, ja?)

    • Roadstergal

      Holy shit, the number of times those guys tried to “impeach” Hitler, only to be foiled by dumb luck…

  • 3FingerPete

    Those are tweets I’d expect from Hugo Chavez or some other tinpot autocrat. Lapdogs? Seriously?

    • Bangkok Taxi

      Yup. I can hear Duterte now.

  • thixotropic jerk

    “Stable genius?” Horsehit! Also; too word to Mr. Geneyoose: if you find yourself describing your own brilliance this way: “my two greatest assets have been my mental stability and being, like, really smart.” You ain’t smart you’s a dumbfuck.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I apologize if this keeps getting repeated. It’s just that his tweet so channels this scene.

    https://youtu.be/zgHXHtHSsNo

    • SDGeoff3

      And remember what happened to him!

  • Has it been pointed out that it wasn’t, actually, his first try? Because it wasn’t.

  • tehbaddr

    Nothing strange or horrifying ever happens at a cabin in the woods!

    • theCryptofishist

      So, who are the people have sex who will be first to be hacked to pieces? And will it be Jeff hacking?

  • SDGeoff3

    When is someone going to publicly demand Trump’s transcripts?

  • Very stable * genius!!!1!1!
    http://flopmee.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/3-53.jpg

    Great for hacking voting system. Why you ask?
    https://www.bigshocking.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/2010-09-14-10-14-04-8-prime-minister-vladimir-putin-is-winking.jpeg

    * = I do this position all the time in yoga class, it’s uncomfortable as fuck after 10 minutes

  • Almost everything Trump says is either an outright lie or is tinged with falsehood, deception, deceit, omission or exaggeration.

    Don the Con doesn’t know anything about anything. Trump’s mentality of lying, conning, scamming, bullying, evasion, exaggerating and bluffing was likely developed over time as a survival mechanism because he doesn’t know anything about anything.

  • His hair should be an immediate indicator of how “like, smart” the Drumpfald is… Seriously, the hair says, “If they’ll buy that, they’ll buy anything…”.

  • tkingt

    Acknowledged, verified, denied. I have it on good authority that someone frequently expectorates on Donnie’s Big Macs. Bless their hearts.

  • Poly_Ester

    I’m really smart, Mommy told me so. I’m so smart I hired the smartest kid in school to take my IQ test for me.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      He’s not crazy. His mother had him tested.

  • Querolous
  • Herewegoagain

    The book really did rattle Don’s cage ..the self-proclaimed billionaire comes out firing and diagnose himself of being really smart ‘ …US President Donald Trump said he was “like, really smart” in a series of tweets on Saturday morning, commenting on the rumors of his mental health and intellectual capacity bolstered by the new ‘ the new “Fire and Fury” book on his presidency. ‘ “Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart,” he wrote……

    “I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star […] to President of the United States (on my first try),” said Trump, who followed in his father’s footsteps as a real estate developer before starting a career in reality television…….. Albeit 2nd rate .. looking at him and you come to the conclusion that our Dear Leader is just a ‘ pathetic fruitcake ‘.. it didn’t take much to throw don our President off balance

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre
    • Bill the Cat for President!

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Ack!

      • Captain Kraut

        Fritz libelz!!1!

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    And the BBC is trying like Hell to keep a stiff upper lip.
    Fire and Fury: Trump says book is ‘fiction’ and author a ‘fraud’
    “His remarks followed an earlier rebuttal on Twitter, in which the president claimed he was a “very stable genius” who was “like, very smart”.

    Michael Wolff’s new book suggests that even the president’s closest advisors question his fitness for office.

    The row has overshadowed key talks on the Republican party’s 2018 agenda.”
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42589860

    If it is fiction how can it be fraudulent?

    • Republican party’s 2018 agenda

      I would like the press to ask the simple question of why they are not discussing the 2018 United State’s Agenda

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Really now. Everybody knows what’s good for the GOP is good for America.

    • TimResistit

      “His remarks followed an earlier rebuttal on Twitter, in which the
      president claimed he was a “very stable genius” who was “like, very
      smart”.

      Just thinking out loud but that should be said by the character played by John Cleese, in a cut away scene in the eventual movie “Idiocracy II A Very Stable Conflagration”.”.

  • Now, we can be absolutely sure that he’s (a) stupid and (b) unstable. If he’s said it, you know it is a lie.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dad5b24a234d86838e2b17dc704153b809e12aa18b3890864e9c891c6e181d9f.jpg

    • Toledo Window Box

      Sometimes, he’s making up a whole new lie, while other times, he’s lying to cover up a prior lie.

      • JoeChristmas

        He could be projecting too..

      • He lies in his dreams.

        • Toledo Window Box

          When he awakes, he lies to people about what dreams he had.

          • He often invents wet dreams to tell Hope Hicks and Iwankalot about.

    • rubikcube

      The arms crossed and the quick, wet intake of air are also tell-tale signs. Other than his lips moving, yes.

  • james crubb

    Can you people hear the laughs from Australia? plus the clenching of anus at the probability of some random war of distraction.

  • M.E. Lawrence

    Pete Souza has this to say about the Con’s latest pronouncement: https://www.instagram.com/p/BdnfuK6lbHX/?taken-by=petesouza

    • randoracer

      Dammit, you’ve shattered my illusions of Obama as being perfect at everything. Keeping his hand on the saddle horn, holding the reins too high and not dropping his heels all are considered bad form in western riding. But he still looks like he’s a far better horseman than Roy Moore, so there’s that.

      • sillyclucker

        Yeah, but please notice how the horse does not appear to be in any distress whatsoever; unlike poor Sassy.

      • randoracer

        Absolutely. That horse looks quite comfortable and engaged.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • UnsaltedSinner

    By the way, it’s a sign of how smart Trump is that he mentions “the old Ronald Reagan playbook”. After all, only crazy conspiracy nuts believed that Reagan was suffering from dementia during his presidency. His razor sharp mind was there for all to see.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3u3PwCZfM4

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    One of the more amusing aspects of Trumpsterfire’s shitter twitter storm is the phrase “…like, really smart”, where using the adolescent ‘like’ is really not smart.

  • rg9rts

    They don’t say he is dumb…they say he is a FM

  • Last Hussar

    If the book isn’t true, how did Bannon break the NDA?

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Very Stable Genius” is the name of my new Barry Manilow tribute band.

    • Hesavebread!

      “Unstable gnus” is my country western quartet.

  • Marilyn

    G-o-ogle is p-a-ying $97 per hour,w-i-th we-e-kly payouts.Y-o-u can a-l-so avail this.
    O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land R-o-ver Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the most-com-f-ortable job I have ever done .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you w-o-nt forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !gx274d:
    ♥G♥O♥Y♥J♥F♥L♥R♥D♥F♥L♥X♥Y♥N♥P♥B♥O♥T♥Q♥D♥U♥H♥R♥Z♥E♥P♥M♥U♥M♥N♥Q♥T♥X
    >>>> http://GoogleHomeCashJobsUniversalOpportunity/earn/hourly ♥G♥O♥Y♥J♥F♥L♥R♥D♥F♥L♥X♥Y♥N♥P♥B♥O♥T♥Q♥D♥U♥H♥R♥Z♥E♥P♥M♥U♥M♥N♥Q♥T♥X:::::!gx274lhuhu

  • Oblios_Cap

    That picture of Camp Davis sure doesn’t have much color too it.

    • rubikcube

      The paneling is Mahogany?

  • rubikcube

    Say what you will, but Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies starring Scott Baio and Jon Voight was a 5 star classic.

  • MuttsRule

    Best Very Stable Genius twitter comment, with reference to Gilbert and Sullivan:

    Walter Shaub ✔
    @waltshaub

    I am the very model of a genius stable President
    I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
    From Bowling Green to Waterloo, in order categorical

    5:53 AM – Jan 6, 2018

    So here’s a version of the original Major General song from Pirates of Penzance (with lyrics, you’re welcome).

    https://youtu.be/Rs3dPaz9nAo

    And here’s a parody from 2016 re: Trump

    https://youtu.be/Y5rGpIlmYUo

  • Claire

    *an idiot
    *moron

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