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Good Brain.

Thursday morning, Donald Trump’s idiot lawyers sent a cease and desist letter to Michael Wolff and his publisher for writing a SALACIOUS BOOK OF LIES about Dear Leader and the neverending shitshow that is his White House. This comes after Trump’s idiot lawyers sent a cease and desist letter to Steve Bannon for violating his nondisclosure agreements and hurting Donald Trump’s feelings by telling his secrets, which essentially means they’re admitting the shit in Wolff’s book, or at least a lot of the Bannon shit, is completely true. Legal strategy! Get some!

Of course, Wolff says he has tapes to prove his shit, so LORDY WE HOPE THERE ARE TAPES.

Trump and his lawyers are sure to be successful with their letters and the lawsuits they will never file, so we should pick through the new column from Wolff about his book published in The Hollywood Reporter today, before it’s deleted from the internet forever! We should also use our powers of discernment to decide whether these claims are true or not, based on wild speculation and also based on our knowledge of Trump.

Let us begin:

“You can’t make this shit up,” Sean Spicer, soon to be portrayed as the most hapless man in America, muttered to himself after his tortured press briefing on the first day of the new administration, when he was called to justify the president’s inaugural crowd numbers — and soon enough, he adopted this as a personal mantra.

POOR SEAN SPICER! He never did look comfortable lying to the American people the way Sarah Huckabee Sanders looks when she lies to the American people. Like, if they make an American Girl doll of Sarah Huckabee Sanders, it will be called “Lying Sarah,” and not many little girls will want one. Therefore, WONKETTE FACTCHECK: PROBABLY TRUE.

Kellyanne Conway, who would put a finger-gun to her head in private about Trump’s public comments, continued to mount an implacable defense on cable television, until she was pulled off the air by others in the White House who, however much the president enjoyed her, found her militancy idiotic.

Yep, we believe that one too. According to the “Morning Joe” kids, Conway has been known to say “Blech, I need to take a shower” after finishing TV segments spewing #AlternativeFacts for the president, so WONKETTE FACTCHECK: YEAH PROBABLY DUH.

There’s a thing in the latest excerpt about how Trump staffer Sam Nunberg is known for saying Trump is a “fucking fool,” and Wonkette can factcheck that one too, by confirming that Trump is indeed a fucking fool. If Sam Nunberg has a working brain in his head — he’s the one who reportedly tried to explain “Constitution” to Trump but couldn’t get the baby to pay attention — he probably said that.

Moving on:

Here was a man singularly focused on his own needs for instant gratification, be that a hamburger, a segment on Fox & Friends or an Oval Office photo opp. “I want a win. I want a win. Where’s my win?” he would regularly declaim. He was, in words used by almost every member of the senior staff on repeated occasions, “like a child.”

Factcheck true, he is definitely a big fucking baby.

“What a fucking moron,” said [Rupert] Murdoch after one call.

Factcheck true, Trump is definitely a fucking moron. Rex Tillerson and H.R. McMaster agree! On that note:

For Rex Tillerson, he was a moron. For Gary Cohn, he was dumb as shit. For H.R. McMaster, he was a hopeless idiot. For Steve Bannon, he had lost his mind.

Golly, nothing Michael Wolff is saying is any different from EVERY OTHER GODDAMN THING WE HAVE HEARD SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

And regarding the matter of Trump’s Very Good Brain:

Everybody was painfully aware of the increasing pace of his repetitions. It used to be inside of 30 minutes he’d repeat, word-for-word and expression-for-expression, the same three stories — now it was within 10 minutes. Indeed, many of his tweets were the product of his repetitions — he just couldn’t stop saying something.

WONKETTE FACTCHECK: WE CAN SEE TRUMP DOING THAT ON OUR TELEVISION SETS. Remember the unhinged interview he gave the New York Times just before the new year, when he said SIXTEEN TIMES that “no collusion! no collusion! you are the collusion!”? Remember how he says that every time he gets in front of a camera? Wonkette is not a brain doctor, but brain doctors note that this can be a sign of dementia and an early warning for Alzheimers. Brain doctors are JUST SAYING.

On that note:

At Mar-a-Lago, just before the new year, a heavily made-up Trump failed to recognize a succession of old friends.

WONKETTE FACTCHECK: Sad. And entirely believable.

The Daily Beast has a couple other quotes from the book, including the time Trump allegedly called former acting attorney general Sally Yates a “cunt,” and the time he told his real daughter Hope Hicks (Ivanka is more of his work wife, according to Wolff) that she was the “best piece of tail” Corey Lewandowski ever got. Hicks reportedly fled the room in response.

In summary and in conclusion, all of this shit is true, unless it isn’t, in which case it isn’t, but if Wolff made it all up, he sure does do a good impression of the Donald Trump we all know and loathe!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette is fully paid for by YOU! Please click here to pay Wonkette’s salary.

[The Hollywood Reporter]

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  • MynameisBlarney

    Is it just me, or has everyone else’ turmp supportin relatives, friends and coworkers gone silent as fuck about all things turmp?

    • Michael R

      Like they did when polled before the election .

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      Thanksgiving was rather quiet. Work has been too.

    • subatomic

      Don’t know. I had to stop talking to anyone that stupid and delusional for my own sanity. Don’t try to have rational conversations with irrational people.

      • Seek

        My two thoughts on this problem are both paraphrases of better minds:
        Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
        Never argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

    • Roadstergal

      I kept a few crazy Trumpers on my Facebook even after they came out, just to keep a finger on the pulse, and I haven’t heard a goddam thing out of them in some months.

      • willi0000000

        poke ’em . . . see if they twitch.

    • Donna Mueller

      the question in our minds is-when will the dumptard reach the dryout stage. that’s when your shit gets so off the wall that your old allies run away and say “uh-uhh, man, yer on yer own, i’m NOT stepping in any of that shit”. aaaand you are hung out to dry, much the same as what happened to the pedophile/ child molester in alabama.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Ayup. Had something to say about Obama every time I saw them for eight years too.

      Some nicetime on Christmas Eve, even: My Obama-hating, rich-as-fuck, plainly racist uncle said two things I couldn’t believe. 1) “We [boomers] really fucked everything up and now you [us, gen x and younger] gotta get rid of us and fix it.” 2) “The ladies aren’t putting up with this shit any more and that’s good.”

      Yes he was drunk but in vino veritas right?

  • Michael R
    • Shrieking Harpy

      I’m glad somebody likes the snow.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Our pit bull (being of thin coating) much prefers soft blankies on days such as this.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Mine, too. And me, too.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Have never known a breed so fond of snuggling. She will sleep completely under the covers all night on occasion.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            All three of my mini dachshunds do that. In fact when I let them out of their crates in the morning, they all have to dig out from under the piles of blankets, towels, and old flannel sheets.

        • NastyBossetti

          My pit bull LOVES the snow. He romps around like a puppy and runs with his mouth open along the ground, scooping up the snow. It’s especially weird to me, considering his short hair and very advanced arthritis, but it makes him happy. He won’t wear boots, so he has to come inside fairly quickly because he’s in pain from the cold.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            If properly dressed, she will play in it for a time, so I have seen the behavior you described. It is joyous!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Who’s a good boy?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I was wondering where our BigRedDog had gotten off to. now I realize that she’s probably out playing in the snow.

    • willi0000000

      smart, lively, good with kids, waterproof . . . you gotta love a Lab.

  • dslindc

    SO. MUCH. WINNING!

  • BeachLoafer

    Fuckin’ blizzard raging outside and I don’t have nearly enough popcorn to make it through this shitshow LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

    • goonemeritus

      How is your bagel supply, these Nor’easters can go on for a while.

      • Suttree

        I have 5 bagels and a pint of whipped cream! Plus a single tomato.

        • goonemeritus

          You’ll never make it.

          • Suttree

            I will have someone’s liver by the end of this! And this is a rather shitty bagel.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Try boiling it some more.

          • Suttree

            I guess that I could go scoop snow for water since I live on the 5th floor and have none.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Where are you?

          • Suttree

            At home.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Ha ha. New York?

          • Suttree

            Jersey… Duh

        • goonemeritus
    • Suttree

      If you can get here, I have 3 bags of popcorn and probably17 times that amount in booze.

  • dslindc
    • Tishalicious

      I wonder how many slips in that bowl actually said Shelly…..*grr*

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The worst part is that the GOP will call this a mandate, a term they have a curious fondness for.

    • BigCSouthside

      Fucking bullshit

    • Oblios_Cap

      Because, of course he did. Start screaming “Voter Fraud”!

    • cmd resistor

      I was hoping for a good karma Dem win of that drawing..

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Well, that’s some goddammned fucking crap right there. The Dems should be screeching from the rooftops for the next year about this.

  • exinkwretch

    Copy editor note: abbreviate Trump’s idiot lawyers” to “TIL” on second reference.

    • Michael Smith

      You could do it like a lawyer and be like “After a conversation with Trump’s Idiot Lawyers (“TIL”)…”

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I prefer acronym first, then definition in parens following.

        • Oblios_Cap

          That’s ass-backwards from the way we do things in state government!

  • This would be hilarious if we weren’t all probably going to die as a result.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Like, if they make an American Girl doll of Sarah Huckabee Sanders, it will be called “Lying Sarah,”

    Palin will be pissed. She worked so hard to try and get that title.

    • dslindc

      It takes more follow-through than the former half-governor can muster, I’m afraid.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She’s already got a Nailin’ Palin Tundra Patch Doll.

  • Indiepalin

    “During one memorable limo ride, Trump ordered his driver to stop at McDonald’s, whereby the entire secret service contingent proceeded to initiate an armed takeover of the restaurant, which included herding customers into the restrooms for the duration of the meal.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This should be grounds for impeachment all by itself.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Being herded into a McDonalds restroom must be some kind of 8th Amendment violation.

    • biologydave

      Bill Clinton would’ve been nicer

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYt0khR_ej0

    • Gayer Than Thou

      If Obama had done that… I know, I know.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Donald is so misunderstood, so oppressed by those who have a haterade thing on him!

  • dslindc

    Are we really sure Trump isn’t just a mound of rabid ferrets in a poorly-tailored suit?

    • Oblios_Cap

      No, we’re not.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Rabid ferrets make way more cogent statements to the media.

      • Truthiness2U

        And are cuter.

  • kilgoretrout

    Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

    • Boscoe

      …which in this instance is still horrific, but at least there might not be any nukes involved.

  • Blanche de Shambles
  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Sure, Hitler killed millions, but it took him years to do it. This sad, disgusting little man could top him in less than half an hour. And I would not be surprised in the least to learn that he is, in fact, a bedwetter. The problem is, he’s more concerned about that aspect of his Presidency than he is in the fate of the aforementioned millions.

    • James Smith

      So the russian prostitute story is just a cover up for trump peeing on the bed

      • Boscoe

        NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I occasionally see a positive-ish thing about some aspect or another of the Trump admin in some respectable rag like the Atlantic, NYT, etc. But I always end up with the impression that, yes, some aspects of government foreign and domestic services are still functioning more or less normally. Period. Basically, the government is too big and multifaceted for Trump and his cabinet to fuck it up completely. Yet.

    • DrBigHead

      They sure seem to be trying, though

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Exactly. They’re trying to sink the mighty Ship of State using hatchets and handsaws.

      They will do much damage, we will take on water, but hopefully we can patch things up once the lunatics have been rounded up and thrown in the brig.

    • shivaskeeper

      Institutions run on inertia. Once you get them going it’s hard to get them change course. The best they are going to be able to do is starve them for the people needed to run them and cause some serious brain drain.

      That is significant damage, but it can be reversed.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      In other words, thank the FSM for the bureaucrats who keep the day-to-day going in spite of Trump’s daily shit show.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Well, we will never know if all the juicy gossip in the book is true (it is) because Trump’s lawyers have filed a cease and desist and stop making me look like an idiot suit against Wolff and his publisher.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    My business is closed today due to Bomb Cyclone Grayson, and I’m home with the cats, and tea, and books, and a lot of delicate antiques that need restoration and cleaning.

    Alas, I have the feeling that my brain is going to be trapped in yr. Wonkette today, unable to take its eyes off the unfolding schadenfreude shitshow. I surrender my pants willingly.

    I will also not be commenting, because that is obviously not allowed.

    • Tishalicious

      Oh, wow. That sounds like Heaven on Earth.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        I try to count my blessings. They are multitudinous, and fuzzy.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I would say that I too am into pants-free silver polishing, except that might sound like some sort of tawdry double entendre.

        • Tishalicious

          Go on….

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I feel like I’m taking fucking crazy pills. I just went to my usual Thursday morning meeting and there was no one there. I didn’t get a paper. My garbage wasn’t picked up. FFS, world, ease up a little. It’s easy enough to get mentally confused living in Dumpyworld. I don’t need any help from outside forces.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The no paper would have pissed me off!

    • ArgieBargie

      Don’t blame Grayson. Blame “Obama’s Deep State.”

      (Also too, I just realized “Obama’s Deep State” sounds like a dick joke)

    • weighmaster

      I did that last night, only with wine and a farty dog.

  • Michael Smith

    If all these people who have surrounded Trump and helped him actually hate him, why didn’t they do something to stop him or to undermine him? Is it because they are all willing to sell themselves out just to be close to the nexus of power?

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Or…did they enable him, helping him to reach greater and greater heights because they wanted to watch him fall farther? I like to think it’s that.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I don’t think any of ’em are that smart. They’re just suck-ups who don’t have the guts to resign because the money’s good even if the job is shoveling shit upstream.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The last one.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I hope they set up a wide screen plasma whereever Ayn Rand is currently roasting and they’re making her watch her ideology hand the win to the Soviet Union.

      • weighmaster

        YES!!!

  • goonemeritus

    I have had kid’s of my own, I have friends who are kid’s YOU SIR ARE NO KID. I don’t know what the fuck you are but most kid’s are likeable you certainly aren’t likable.

  • Oblios_Cap

    a heavily made-up Trump failed to recognize a succession of old friends.

    I’m calling bullshit. Trump doesn’t have any friends.

    And- heavily made-up? Everything he says is heavily made up.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, did you read that Penthouse letter-level fantasy about him banging his imaginary friends’ imaginary hot wives? He creeps like an incel.

      • cmd resistor

        That was gross, but no surprise.

  • Michael R
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      What bullshit. I has a stabby.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I totally did not see that coming.

      Said no one.

      • Boscoe

        THIS.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I knew they were stonewalling until they could figure out a way to subvert Democracy.
          Goddamned Republicans hate this country, I swear ta fuckin goawd.

          • Boscoe

            Still too many rules against ratfucking people for a buck.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fucking fucks.

    • La forza del resistino

      seeing Roger Stone in the room with a tube of stick-em seems shady.

    • Rickyphoo

      Hopefully only until the fall.

  • Jo Mathie

    I believe every word of it, especially the dementia part. My mum works at a nursing home with dementia patients and she said ages ago that Trump shows all the early symptoms. If you look at interviews with him a decade ago his speech patterns were way more fluent and he had a much bigger vocabulary. He never seems to know where he’s wandering off to either.

    • BigCSouthside

      For me it’s his use of the word “strong”

      He said mike Flynn led a strong life

      He said Americans need strong identification to do certain things. No one uses that word in those contexts. It’s evidence that his vocabulary is shrinking, and he’s leaning on simpler words.

      His usage of strong in these statements is something I’d expect from someone who speaks English as a second language and has only known English for ~5 years

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That was a strong non-comment!

        • Oblios_Cap

          Bigly strong!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      There was more: Everybody was painfully aware of the increasing pace of his repetitions. It used to be inside of 30 minutes he’d repeat, word-for-word and expression-for-expression, the same three stories — now it was within 10 minutes. Indeed, many of his tweets were the product of his repetitions — he just couldn’t stop saying something.

      This actually sounds painfully like my elderly father now. Ever since his stroke* it is pretty much guaranteed that he’ll tell the same story several times when I visit him.

      *He called me yesterday morning to congratulate himself for his 5 year + 1 Day Anniversary since his stroke. The doctors told him he’d be dead within 5 years, but he’s still kicking.

  • Boscoe

    So I guess the audiobook version is going to be AMAZING…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      As read by Gilbert Gottfried.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        : D

      • JaveyDay

        Jared Kushner?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Bobcat Goldthwait

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Jello Biafra?

          • Oblios_Cap

            Maybe Sam Kinison…

          • Boscoe

            Henry Rollins?

      • Boscoe

        ROFL

      • BadKitty904

        Alec Baldwin.

      • I take it you saw the Funny or Die clip “50 Shades as read by Gilbert Gottfried”, this Trump book would be amazing that way

    • WeaselPoo

      Hopefully beeped….it sounds so much worse.

  • Wuulf
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Still true.

    • Parakeetist

      Comedian @JaneyGodley on the Twitters.

  • Blackest Noobs

    “…a heavily made-up Trump…”

    just like a real man, cuz, you know, us, real men like to be heavily made-up, we need are hair done, and our nails clipped, and someone to put clothes on us, just like a REAL man.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I hope Hope Hicks sues the living fuck out of these people.

    • Blackest Noobs

      eh, she made her choices, she knew what she was getting into…so sorry not sorry cuz any lady that sticks with Trump after his Access Hollywood tape is fucking balls stupid.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I’m rooting for both you guys. Hicks can sue and win, and she deserves all the pain she chose to embrace.

        • Blackest Noobs

          still not sorry.

    • johnnyknj

      Zero chance of that.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Just, her daddy is a Baron of K Street. I don’t know anything about her personal life, just that it seems to be a real parlor game among the shabbier garbage in Trump’s circles to treat her like a whore, and I don’t think it’s going to end well for them.

    • Parakeetist

      I want to see one of those legal forms with ‘Living Fuck’ at the top in real big letters.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Just remember – it isn’t the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

    Trump’s “stop” is going to be fucking EPIC!!

  • BadKitty904

    At Mar-a-Lago, just before the new year, a heavily made-up Trump failed to recognize a succession of old friends.

    Turmp has friends?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Sounds like he was as surprised as you are!

      • BadKitty904

        I wonder how much he paid for them.

      • Blackest Noobs

        well he couldn’t remember who they were…but im betting he never did.

    • Blackest Noobs

      yes, that’s the most salacious thing about the book.

    • cmd resistor

      Defined loosely as acquaintances that pretend to like him ,or who don’t totally hate him (because they don’t know him well), who will suck up to him for whatever reason.

    • bbayliss

      Reagan didn’t recognize his son, Michael, after giving the commencement address at his school.

      • Oblios_Cap

        So – its a Republican president kind of thing?

        • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

          Clown makeup of years past was chock-full of mercury… and so were syphilis treatments. Methinks this is the real PTSD from Donnie’s personal Vietnam…

        • BigCSouthside

          The behind the scenes GOP guys have said their dream president is one just competent enough to hold a pen and sign their name

      • Ron “I don’t recall” Reagan.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “At Mar-a-Lago, just before the new year, a heavily made-up Trump failed to recognize a succession of old friends sycophants.”

      Needz better copy editing.

      • BadKitty904

        Toadies, lickspittles, minions, etc., too. Also.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      That was supposed to be “fiends,” not “friends.” He has no friends.

    • calliecallie

      What’s truly sad about this is that he can’t manufacture recognition on demand, like most well-known people. Even this morning on the elevator I saw a woman who called me by name, and I knew I knew her, just couldn’t remember her name, but still I could give an enthusiastic hello and wish her happy new year. That Trump never mastered – or no longer has – the ability to do that means he is truly off.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        He doesn’t care enough about other people to offer them cheery greetings on elevators. He’s the only person in any given room. The rest of us can go fuck right off.

      • BadKitty904

        Amendment 25 NOW!

  • schmannity

    It’s all true and more. Given their penchant for projection, how long until sex slave minors are discovered in the White House bomb shelter baking pizza?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      The White House has a basement?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        There’s no basement at the Alamo, but there is a basement at the White House.

  • bbayliss

    The curtain is drawn aside, the emperor has nothing on, the MSM who pretended there was some there there, look as foolish as the prez*

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    “A heavily made up Trump” – whatever in the actual fuck?

    • kilgoretrout

      Made up = really pleased in British slang.

    • therblig

      he’s actually several hundred thousand cockroaches stuffed into ill-fitting suits.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        He’s a Slithin.

      • elviouslyqueer

        No no. That’s Bannon. Trump is much more a Mugato.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Cockroach libelz. Cockroaches are smarter.

      • bupkus231

        That’s a lotta suits!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Wait. Trump’s idiot lawyers cease and desisted a published book?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Blackest Noobs

      remember, he hires the best people….the best i tell you

      • Rickyphoo

        Yeah, that’s what one of my wife’s coworkers said right after the election. The trump administration would be great because he would hire the best people to do the actual work.

        The guy doesn’t say much about tRump anymore.

      • Hardly Ideal

        Mm-hmm. I’m pretty sure I played with smarter people in my Warcraft days, and some of those pick-up players barely know which end of the sword to hold.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, even better. They cease and desisted Bannon, who spoke to Wolff with their permission.

      • george lastrapes

        They creased and decysted Bannon?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, like they had time.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      You know D45 wanted to organize a national book burning day.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Everything on the Internet, also too.

    • Edith Prickly

      Trump gets what he pays for.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I see what you did there. :P

    • schmannity
    • JustPretendImNotHere

      Proud graduates of the Grace L. Ferguson Law School and Trucking Company.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        DBA the Grace L Ferguson Airline And Storm-Door Company.

    • Run2Live

      Refresh my memory on the 1st Amendment again.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Streisand Effect?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • WeaselPoo

    “You can’t make this shit up!” muttered Sean Spicer….
    ….whose exact job was to make shit up on behalf of the biggest shit-maker-upper in the world, and make shit up he did, on Day One in Minute One.

  • MynameisBlarney

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210057077

    “The person anonymously leaking racist attacks on the Mueller grand jury sounds awfully familiar”.

    • Edith Prickly

      John Barron?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Heavily made up? And here I’ve been hoping he was completely made up.

  • La forza del resistino

    next, 3 little pigs file a suit against big, bad Wolff for mental duress and associated stress.

    • therblig

      will their strawman arguments stick it to the rumor that ivanka is dumb as a brick?

  • OrG

    POOR SEAN SPICER!
    Nope, that fucker deserves all the bad shit.

    • Edith Prickly

      No one made him take that job.

    • Yeah, he may not have been comfortable lying, but he lied nonetheless.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He could have hidden in the bushes at anytime.

  • schmannity

    AND WHAT ABOUT HILLARY’S BOOK? And DOW over 25000!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Let’s see now. What is more believable? Michelle Obama has a dick or Trump tries to fuck his buddies’ wives?

    • schmannity

      Don’t post this question at Infowars.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, gawd. Is there a “death” option?

  • brd

    Not for nothing, but a claim that he’s recently developed some sort of Alzheimer’s would be a somewhat decent “out” for the Republican congress and give them an opening for beginning 25th Amendment talks. “Of course we still believe Fearless Leader is a great President, but oops, I guess he’s senile, so we better remove him.” It lets them vote to take him out of office without admitting they’ve been aiding and abetting criminal behavior this whole time.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      agreed

      and the fact that they’re not makes me believe they’re hiding something pretty fucked

      • bbayliss

        The GOP is complicit. It’s clear, do we have to wait a year to “learn” more about what has been obvious from the beginning?

    • I wonder what the results will be of his upcoming physical. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he’s got dementia. It’ll be interesting to see what they do once that comes out … and it will.

      • BigCSouthside

        He won’t actually have the physical

      • PubOption

        Reports of St. Ronnie’s physicals didn’t say anything about dementia.

        • First, they probably didn’t test for it, and second, one of the problems with very early stages is that it’s easy to miss, or the person is really good at covering it up. Trump is likely beyond that stage.

          • bupkus231

            I was gonna say that tests for dementia take more time than an afternoon’s visit to the doctor.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          Ronnie wasn’t a sneering Bond villain and his crimes against humanity were a little more subtle, so there wasn’t an additional embarrassment factor to his presidency.

    • georgiaburning

      “Recently”, like 2008?

  • Timothy Watson
    • Parakeetist

      Man FUCK

    • bbayliss

      Fucking fuckers

    • WotsAllThisThen

      When the voter marked the Democrat, it was the “I don’t vote for this guy” mark.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Which may be the case, but at the time the Republican observer agreed with the Democratic observer and recommended the ballot be rejected. It was only after they found out that that ballot would change the outcome that they said “oh yeah, count that vote please”.

      • Timothy Watson

        So saith the judges, appointed by Republicans, after checking the goat livers.

        That, or they had already made their decision and just made up a bunch of bullshit to give a vote to Republican whose own electoral workers agreed the vote shouldn’t count, which in and of itself should have precluded a court challenge on the vote.

    • bupkus231

      Simonds should go ahead and request that second recount allowed by this decision. The WP piece says that won’t prevent VA Republicans from naming the next Speaker, even if Simonds wins by recount – but it will still result in a tied House.

      Has any one seen anything from that three-judge panel of recount judges, as to WHY they rejected the claim that that last ballot should be invalidated? I’d like to know HOW they thought that ballot showed “clear intent”…

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Basically – because the voter drew a hash through the filled-in bubble by Simonds’ name, and because the only other partisan race the voter selected the Republican, the panel ruled that there was enough to show intent to vote for the Republican in both races.

        • bupkus231

          Maybe I misread it, but I thought the ballot also had a hash through Gillespie’s filled-in bubble, too.

          Yeah – from the above piece:

          The voter, whose identity is unknown, filled in bubbles on the paper ballot for Simonds and Yancey but also made a slanted mark across the Simonds bubble. That voter voted Republican in every other office, but also made slash marks across a filled-in bubble for Republican Ed Gillespie in the gubernatorial race.

          What the fuck reasoning says that one hash mark indicates “no vote”, while another means a vote? This panel needs to show some better, more concrete reasoning for ignoring the one and not the other – or follow the law in the first place and invalidate the ballot. Are they going claim that the hash though Gillespie’s bubble counts because Northam’s bubble wasn’t filled in, too? Or are they going to say that the vote for Gillespie on this ballot was NOT counted ( an unprovable assertion )? Throw the ballot out!

  • Baconzgood

    I’m beginning to suspect that this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing as the president.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The World is waiting for when he begins to suspect he doesn’t know what he’s doing as president.

      • TJ Barke

        That would require self awareness.

        • WeaselPoo

          Oh he has lots of that! It’s the type of awareness that’s wrong.

        • Snowbound Ron

          My iMac will develop self-awareness before he does.

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Never going to happen. This whole administration is a Dunning-Kruger experiment on steroids*

        *and possibly LSD

    • WeaselPoo

      Just read what it says on his hat, over and over, out loud…and this too shall pass. Or buy the hat! Beleive me its tremendous.

    • TundraGrifter

      Nah.

  • OddMan

    This little tidbit from Kurt Eichenwald, a very smart man.

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/948955132401725440

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah, I thought they got as far as explaining the 4th Amendment to him. Did they skip a few?

      • cmd resistor

        That doesn’t mean that the First Am. part “took” when they gave it to him.

        • WeaselPoo

          Trump: So the First Amendment is the best amendment, right? Because its first!
          Aide: That’s not….umm…
          Trump: so the other five are like sad loser amendments. We should get rid of those. They are the worst! Bad for America! Where’s my pen? We’ll just cross them out.
          Aide:Ummm…. Ooh…Fox and Friends is on!
          Trump: Ooh! Turn it up!

      • TundraGrifter

        Mr. Trump knows all about the 12th Amendment. Maybe they taught them to him working backwards.

      • therblig

        skipped the 1st because no one should criticize the god emperor.
        skipped the 2nd because there’s no way his tiny fingers could pull a trigger
        perked up for the 3rd because housing soldiers in trump properties = profit
        questioned whether the 4th prohibits seizing pussy
        drooled some, then fell asleep.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      If I were on Twitter I would point out to Kurt that we have a “president” who couldn’t sit through a briefing on the Constitution – and that he fucking needed one in the first fucking place. Jeebus Crisp, we went from a constitutional law professor to a guy who doesn’t know what is Constitution and how is it formed?

      • ((( Augustus )))

        HOW IS BILL OF RITES FORMED ?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Generally by arcane gesturing and speaking in forbidden tongues.

          • OddMan

            Must have white glowing Orb.

        • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

          privileges go in, privileges go out; no one can explain it.

      • cmd resistor

        I once did a presentation on the Bill of Rights for my kid’s 7th grade class for Constitution Day, but it was probably too complex for Trump.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s because the current occupant of the White House is a fucking moron.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        And his attorneys are complete hacks also too.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Isn’t this the sort of thing that the American Revolution was about?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s what the Pentagon Papers was about.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Both

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      So, does he think that once it hits stores he can then order the FBI to raid people’s homes and confiscate their Kindles and hardback copies?

      • Oblios_Cap

        He can make everyone hang pictures of him in their house when they do that.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know, Kurt Eichenwald really needs to get past the fantasy he has about being the brave Serpico of the first amendment police. No, Kurt. That’s not worse than anything in the book, just like kids in Berkeley not wanting armed channers descending on their campus is not worse than what the channers did when they got there.

    • The Wanderer

      During the campaign, Trump did express a desire to get a lese majeste law passed, making it illegal to criticize him or the government.

      • Snowbound Ron

        I doubt that’s left his mind; but someone finally got it through his thick skull that he doesn’t have the power.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Someone should make a movie about prior restraints, maybe with a big-name director and some big-name Hollywood stars.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      The president of the United States. Is a double ass bitch.

  • cmd resistor

    Well, here’s the Mooch weighing in:
    “As it relates to the other stuff in the book, I was there for a lot of it, Chris. And I can tell you a lot of the stuff does not seem right to me,” Scaramucci told host Chris Cuomo on CNN’s “New Day.”
    The former Trump aide specifically took issue with a claim in the book, “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House” by Michael Wolff, that President Trump did not want to win the election.
    “President Trump – then candidate Trump, wasn’t leaving anything in the tank, Chris. Okay? This is a guy that’s a winner, he’s been a winner his whole life,” Scaramucci added.
    “And so someone saying that he didn’t think he was going to win or that he was winning by losing, I sort of think that’s a bunch of nonsense.” http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/367399-scaramucci-on-wolff-book-a-lot-of-the-stuff-does-not-seem-right

    • shivaskeeper

      He was there for like 3 weeks and on the job for 10 days. How much of “A lot of it” could he have seen?

    • BigCSouthside

      Has he won his whole life? He’s the most inept loser “rich guy” I’ve ever heard of

    • Jgb979

      Get the Trump out of your mouth mooch. Also GFY and STFU.

      He “won” by losing because deep down in his core he knew he NEVER wanted to be president. He had to run for Putin to keep the money faucet flowing, and he thought he’d be able to transition the frankly frightening support he was getting on the campaign trail into a new Breitbart/Trump/neonazi happy time fun channel

      • BigCSouthside

        He basically wanted to be Rupert Murdoch

    • AppleJackie

      “…I was there for I was there for a lot of it…”? Dude, you were there for like two days.

      • WeaselPoo

        To be fair, two days with Trump is like one day with Trump—an uninterrupted stream of petulance, ignorance, insults, rage, bragging, lying and stupidity—and any day or two days with Trump is/are too many.

      • bupkus231

        Actually, Mooch worked on Rump’s campaign Finance Committee, starting in May 2016 – whether that got him inside access or not, that’s how he got his short-lived stint as WH Communications Director…

        Only the BEST people!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      So of all the things he could have refuted, he went with “Trump didn’t want to win?”

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I’m torn about this one. It seems out of character for him to prefer losing, especially to That Woman and on a worldwide stage.

      • cmd resistor

        The way they described it in the book, it was at least plausible.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Sorry, Tony, he STILL isn’t taking you to the cotillion.

  • bbayliss

    When will the fiction of the “all powerful RW base” be revealed false?

    • Boscoe

      I thought that already happened when less than 100 people turned up for the pro-Trump rally?

      • Snowbound Ron

        That’s when WE noticed. We’re waiting for everyone else to get a godsdamned clue.

  • Suttree

    Okie dokie people. I was trying to explain “no water” upthread. The water to my building is shut down. I have a few gallons of water/iced tea The store is only 1/4 mile away.. I was there earlier and they will be open until 12 pm.

    • Suttree

      Oops AM shut up

    • Suttree

      I have cash.

    • TundraGrifter

      Frozen water pipes? If you try to melt snow or ice, be very careful. It’s easy to burn through the bottom of a pot or pan doing that unless you start with water in it. Best to put some in a container and leave it at room temperature to melt by itself. Assuming you have heat – and I certainly hope you do!

      • Suttree

        This is a large building. They have been doing boiler repairs. There are over 150 people living here.

        • TundraGrifter

          Sorry to read that. I hope they are able to get you up and running quickly. I am surprised the management company didn’t arrange for bottled water to be delivered to all the tenants. I would hope a building that size was run by a professional property management company.

      • Stulexington

        The other option is to use some of the precious little water to prime the pump. It doesn’t take much to make a slush that will prevent the pot from burning while the rest melts.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That certainly is unfortunate.

      • Suttree

        Shit happens.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Do you have a hot water heater? That’s drinkable.

      • Suttree

        Nope. It is the main boiler 5 floors down in the basement. :)

        • Oblios_Cap

          Is the Super working on it now?

          • Suttree

            Hell to the fucking no! This was a full break down and rebuild! We had an extra boiler on site for the wait time. I really wanted to get in there! But to no avail.

    • Snowbound Ron

      That should, I hope, keep you in business for a while. Is there word on when things will be running again, so you’ll know if you’ll need to ration?

      • Suttree

        I am definitely on ration right now! I can’t get on this job!

      • Suttree

        This has nothing to do with me in any way, :(

    • Covfefe

      Any snow?

      • Suttree

        Does it count if it only blows sideways at 50 mph?

        • Covfefe

          No

          • Suttree

            Well who the fuck is going to get my Camels?

  • James Baskin

    “Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”
    Jesus H Fucking Christ! Please, someone end this madness. I’m looking at you Mueller.

  • TundraGrifter

    “…which essentially means they’re admitting the shit in Wolff’s book, or at least a lot of the Bannon shit, is completely true.”

    I’ve read that proposition elsewhere, as well, and I disagree. The NDA prohibits “…disparagement of Mr. Trump, [and] his family members…”

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      They’re all public figures now … gonna be a bit hard to enforce an NDA against them.

      • bbayliss

        It’s bullshit.
        It’s all bullshit.

      • TundraGrifter

        I am not an attorney – but I suggest the “public figures” argument is more suited for a charge of defamation than for non-disclosure.

    • Lefty Wright

      But as government employees, they cannot be held to a NDA.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Mr. Trump would no doubt consider someone showing a tape of him making fun of a disabled reporter as ‘disparagement’.

    • shivaskeeper

      There are no personal NDA’s for government service. The NDAs they signed pertaining to secret info would be in effect, but Trump cannot have his own NDAs like he had in the private world.

      • Illuminotquite

        Absolutely right, so sayeth the lawyers. Besides, to believe Wolff, not being a complete novice like Trump, would go into publishing this book without being fully “lawyered up” is foolhardy, given Trump’s reputation for suing.

        • shivaskeeper

          I’ll still take Wolff’s writing with a grain of salt though He has been known to make shit up in the past. Whether it’s all true, close to true, an exaggeration, made up, or some combination his publisher has definitely made sure they are covered for being sued. But that does not make all the claims true or accurate.

      • TundraGrifter

        Interesting…I did not know that!

        • shivaskeeper

          That was why Trump wanted his own personal security team instead of the Secret Service. They could be bound to a personal NDA from him and the Secret Service could not be. He could easily do that from Trump Trashtower, but not from the White House. He lost this battle when he was still a candidate.

    • The Wanderer

      Donald Trump is an ill-bred, misbegotten, senile old bullfruit.
      Melania Trump is a gold-digger who regularly withholds the Eastern European Mythical Fourth Hole from Donnie in exchange for more bling.
      Don Junior is a self-entitled braying ass.
      Eric is a chinless horse-fiddler.
      Ivanka regularly plays Hide the Kosher Salami with her Dad.
      Jared Kushner is a feckless nonentity whose brain still runs Windows 97.

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, if it’s not true it does have a lot truthiness.

  • At Mar-a-Lago, just before the new year, a heavily made-up Trump failed to recognize a succession of old friends.

    Not that I particularly want a President Pence, but this seems like a pretty good sign that someone needs to take the car keys away from Grandpa Pussgrab.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Has Melania called the accountants and her attorney yet?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Accountants and attorneys; the rich peoples’ emergency services.

      • Given the way she looks at him, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ivanka is the one with power of attorney.

    • bbayliss

      Pence is guilty. He’ll resign so they can find another Ford.
      I’ve seen this movie.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Not to mention the nuclear codes.

    • Roadstergal

      Who do you think is behind the moves to screw the trans folk, increase christian hegemony, and move the embassy to Jerusalem? We already have President Pence.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I wonder what the ratio is of suits filed against Trump to those that he’s threatened to file. Something like eleventy billion to none?

  • lucidamente
  • grindstone

    Entertainment and schadenfreude factor aside: Stein voters and Bernie holdouts: you did this to us, you fuckers. And when the next round of Democratic candidates comes out, you need to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

    • shivaskeeper

      They could come out and vote for the Democrat. That would also be acceptable.

      • grindstone

        I typed too quickly on that…yes, they can vote as they choose and I hope they do. But if you’re not a Dem, if you’re not building down ticket coalitions, if you’re not raising Dem dollars, then find your own playpen.

        • shivaskeeper

          Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up is the only other option,

    • George

      And pull the lever.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Clinton got 3 million more votes that trump.
      I don’t think this goddamned nightmare we’re living in can be laid solely on Stein and Bernie supporters.
      This is all on roosha and their agents in our govt.

      • renegade500

        It can be laid on Stein/3rd party/write in/Bernie voters in the 3 states that gave Trump the electors he needed to win. By fewer than 70,000 votes. But hey, those Stein/3rd party/write in/Bernie voters sure voted their conscience and showed us.

    • Snowbound Ron

      It’s a good thought.
      It won’t happen, though. Their continued stupidity over the past year demonstrates that rather clearly.

  • Professor Fate

    The thing that is depressing as hell is that all of these stories are plausible. Unlike say Pizza gate or Obama being a gay pimp.

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      He put the “govern” in “Jonny McGovern”!!

  • Me not sure

    To paraphrase Paul Simon: 🎵” There must be 50 ways to say ‘you’re stupid’.”🎶

    • ariel_gee_398

      His jaw is all slack, Jack.
      He’s got no plan, Stan.

      • bbayliss

        He’s going to jail, McPhail

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Eh, it could be true. That’s enough for me.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      It was on the interwebs….

  • RickyG

    The Sarah doll will speak lies when her string is pulled. Except for, “There’s a sale at Dress Barn!” – which could be true at any given time.

    • bupkus231

      Considering what she wears at the press briefings – “DRESS BARN LIBULZ!!!”

      • RickyG

        Er, Table Cloth Wearhouse?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      You pull her string and she says, “I’d have to get back to you on that.”

      • RickyG

        “Want some possum while you wait?!”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      more like Bed Bath and Beyond, judging by the shower curtains and tablecloths she wears

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I sincerely hope Dumpy sues Bannon. Then he and all his minions will be deposed, and everything will be public record. and we’ll get to hear all the people who are reported to have called him a dumb shit, pathetic, loser, etc say it in public, out loud. Who’s got popcorn? This chick. I gots popcorn. Let the games begin!!

    • bbayliss

      Which is why it won’t happen.
      Remember, on “day one” he was going to sue the sexual assault victims.

  • The Librarian

    So everyone in the WH knows Trump is a baby, crazy, repetitious, a war-monger and a liar, yet no one does anything about it except make hand gestures behind his back. No adults in the room, none at all.

  • Lefty Wright

    A little OT, but let’s hope Trump doesn’t use this awful weather to keep protests down and decide to fire Mueller.

  • medcannabis1

    Trump has been a global criminal enterprise for the Russian Mob and FSB Oligarchs for 20+ years. Even if he ends up in diapers with the mental capacity of a pumpkin, he and his family engaged in espionage and treason. The cabal of Oligarchs in the US and Putins FSB played worked to control the flow of oil into a handful of Oligarchs in a global play for power. Murchoch’s Fox must be disbanded as an active arm of the Russian government for it’s role in propaganda. Just ask Wendy Deng and the Russia Oligarchs everywhere in Trumps family business..
    Every person who enabled this attempted coup should be brought to justice and stripped of every asset they have.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      …if he ends up in diapers with the mental capacity of a pumpkin…

      Halfway there!

      • Oblios_Cap

        More like 3/4.

      • Jennaratrix

        I’d argue all the way there; for all we know, he’s already in diapers.

    • Gorillionaire

      WORD

  • schmannity

    Meanwhile, at Infowars, the really breaking news is covered:

    CHELSEA CLINTON DENIES DEVIL WORSHIP AFTER TWEETS TO CHURCH OF SATAN

    https://www.infowars.com/chelsea-clinton-denies-devil-worship-after-tweets-to-church-of-satan/

    • Edith Prickly

      Oh please. Satanic panic is so 1980s.

      • schmannity

        Demonic distraction

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Totally calling dibs on Satanic Panic as a band name. Genre TBD.

        • Gorillionaire

          Please let it be gothy 80’s synth wave.

          • Edith Prickly

            The Sisters of Mercy crossed with Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I’m thinking Taylor Swift meets klezmer meets narcocorridos.

        • Jennaratrix

          I’M THE DRUMMER!

        • Victoria Ricola

          Barbershop quartet – please please please barbershop quartet.

      • DrBigHead

        What about a Satanic Mechanic?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67oFl4CuH6w

    • bupkus231

      I saw this headline at NYMag’s “Daily Intelligencer” blog:

      “Alex Jones Says Trump Doesn’t Have a Small Penis, Okay?”

      It was a link to something on their other blog “The Cut” – but, I wouldn’t go look at the story there, I won’t go look at anything at Jones’s website, either…

      • schmannity

        He should know.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      At least she wasn’t exchanging tweets with the Westboro Baptist Church, but with a mainstream religious organisation.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      those people are quite insane- the only hope for humanity is that the comments section is one long Poe’s Law

  • Rick Hill

    “Trump liked to say that one of the things that made life worth living was getting your friends’ wives into bed.”

    —from new Michael Wolff book ‘Fire and Fury’

    • Oblios_Cap

      What sort of “Friend” thinks that way?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Edward VIII, when he was Prince of Wales, allegedly.

      • bupkus231

        A person who has no concept of friendship?

      • Meccalopolis

        Caligula

    • Tony Prost

      ewwwww! that slug naked? Jabba the Trump!!!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No way this happened. A) who would be a friend of that fucker? B) who would ever sleep with someone like him? C) we’d have heard by now if somehow A & B were not in effect. Besides, D) we know he has a little button.

  • bbayliss

    “Justice Department caves to Trump pressure and reopens investigation into Clinton’s emails”
    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/justice-department-caves-to-trump-pressure-and-reopens-investigation-into-clintons-emails/

    • Oblios_Cap

      ZZZZZZZZZZ…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Oh, FFS. On the other hand, more risotto recipes!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      SQUIRREL!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    How I know it’s all true: because at least some of these people are, themselves, not total idiots and they are working for a person who is demonstrably a total idiot. So by force of liberal logic and ipso facto, at least some of these people are able to see that Twitler is a total idiot.

  • Victoria Ricola

    I just sent my high school a cease and desist to get that unflattering picture of me in 1995 removed from the sportspeople of the past hallway.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      High school in 1995? I am so damn old. . .

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        My gawd, so am I. My son was 10 in 1995.

    • bupkus231

      I knew there was a reason to avoid athletics in high school….

    • BosGrl

      Is it really that bad?

      • Victoria Ricola

        I was a long-distance runner and it was snapped somewhere around the 8th mile. It’s really that bad.

        • BosGrl

          I think schools should get your permission before posting things like that in the hallway. My daughter refused to sign a release for photos at her current high school and now she lets them take the pictures but she gets to decide if something gets put up on the bulletin board.

  • BosGrl

    When you have a loved one with dementia, you make them get help. You don’t care if you are seen by said loved one as an asshole. You don’t care if they say they’ll disown you or never talk to you again. You get them help because you love them. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel bad for Donald Trump. Nobody is getting him any help and at this point he cannot help what he says. That’s not excusing his past asshattery but in the present, it’s unimaginable that his wife and children are letting this go on. Therefore, they don’t love him.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Loved one… ha ha… good one!

      No, what you do in this case is get the estate tax repealed while you can.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        You already know the Trump brats are just waiting for the old man to croak.

        • Snowbound Ron

          Darling Melanoma as well.

    • BigCSouthside

      I do not feel bad. He fostered the environment around him by being an unloving narcissistic asshole. I hope he’s reduced to wandering 5th Avenue in a piss soaked diaper with no one to claim him when the cops pick him up

      • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

        As the DIL of a narcissistic asshole, I heartily agree.
        What goes around, (hopefully), comes around.
        Reap what you sow…etc., etc.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      They know the old man’s sundowning, but they also know he’s got enough reasoning left to cut them out of the will if they try to defy him.

      • Snowbound Ron

        Thus the sycophancy and toleration of his madness.

      • mappo

        The joke’s going to be on them – there’s nothing in the will but a bunch of Russian debt.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I seriously wonder if there are any laws that could hold his adult children and Melania criminally responsible for this shit.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        only if one of them is a designated guardian.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Well, then we’re all going there in a handbasket. Crap.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            you could check NY filings to see if anyone has been. it’s possible.

    • bupkus231

      “…it’s unimaginable that his wife and children are letting this go on. ”

      No, it isn’t. They’re as fucking deplorable as he is.

      • BosGrl

        They are worse. The profess to care soooo much about him but do nothing.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Hell, they don’t even do that convincingly.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      not even Roger Stone is making him go to the doctor! (to be fair, Roger Stone would probably get assassinated 20 times on the way.)

    • DrBigHead

      Your last sentence says it all.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      They’ve probably been waiting years for this so they could not help him.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Your feelings are pearls before swine. Feel bad for all the people suffering from demnentia (and those who care for them) who will be fucked over royally by this heap of biologic waste.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Unfortunately, they probably learned this from watching Donald with his own father. Reap what you sow and all.

      • BosGrl

        I think you’re right.

    • Jennaratrix

      I just said something similar to this; maybe it makes me a squishy girl, but my god. I’m starting to feel badly for Trump, and especially for his young son. Trump is obviously not well; he appears to be experiencing a protracted mental breakdown on an international stage. His every move is scrutinized and derided, rightly so as he has put himself in this position. But my dog, you guys; he’s obviously sick. If this were your grandpa, you’d be worried. His family should be trying to get him some care, and poor Barron; can you imagine what school must be like with THAT as his father?

      I don’t forget for one moment that his actions have directly and negatively affected thousands of people and will continue to do so as long as he’s in office and probably for a long time after; but we are watching a man fall apart in real time. This is painful to watch for so many reasons.

      • BosGrl

        You’ve said it much better than me. If that makes us squishy, so be it.

      • Snowbound Ron

        Which does bring up another aspect of this: if he’d received the care he needed it when he needed it – and that could have been DECADES ago – we might not be knee-deep in shit right now. It wouldn’t have stopped the GOP from being self-serving monsters, but they wouldn’t have so perfect a leader letting them get away with it.

        • Jennaratrix

          Excellent point, and one I hadn’t thought of. It makes me feel better about having any empathy for this asshat, because I feel like a fucking sucker right now.

      • SnowBomber

        I feel sorry for Barron and I’m beginning to feel a smidge bad for Melania but I’m incapable of sympathy for Trump. He was a garbage person 50, 40, 30, 20 and 10 years ago and every day since. If his family loves him so much, they should have locked him away at Mar-a-Lago when he started shitting himself but they want to profit from him and they can’t do that if he’s in a rubber room.

        He’s fucking up my country every minute so I hope he’s utterly miserable. The rest of us are.

        • Jennaratrix

          Yeah, I feel a lot of that, too. I’m completely conflicted; my reason and outrage are fighting with my basic humanity, and it ain’t pretty. I told someone else that I wish I *didn’t* feel any empathy; straight-out hate would be easier, and easier to justify.

        • mappo

          Trump was a garbage human being on the day Malaria met him, and every day since. She signed her deal with the devil with eyes wide open, so I don’t have one scintilla of sympathy for her.

    • Roadstergal

      I agree with all of this except for ‘feel bad for Donald Trump.’ For his entire life, he has been a horrible person who does horrible things and demonstrably harms many, many people. This might be terrible for him, but a: I think he deserves it and b: other people who are better people than he is are suffering far more because of him.

      • elviouslyqueer
      • ariel_gee_398

        I feel sympathy for his situation, but mostly I’m just afraid because this shows how totally inadequate our Constitution is.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Only in the sense that the founding fathers never envisioned an entire political party going insane and becoming treasonous bastards

      • BosGrl

        I understand, but we don’t know how long he’s had dementia (it could have been decades).

    • Nockular cavity

      Okay, I’ll feel sorry for him, but that ends with the first nuclear fireball I see!

      • BosGrl

        Just a little bit sorry. :D

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Except he was an asshole long before the dementia. If you are a shitty person to everyone around you your whole life and drive away anyone who might be there to help you later, or worse yet turn them into shitty people too who won’t help you, I give zero fucks if you die miserable and alone.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        What’s the saying: Be nice to your kids, they’ll choose your retirement home.

      • BosGrl

        Oh, he is and likely he will. It doesn’t stop me from feeling sorry for them being so horrible, and angry at any American who voted for him, seeing that we all were talking here about his being a sick person years ago. It was obvious.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Picking up on your cosplay, I could also feel a little bit badly for his kids because holy shit it’s one thing when grandma starts telling dirty jokes at church and you realize you have to do something about it and quite another when dad starts threatening to start a nuclear war with North Korea on Twitter in front of millions of people worldwide. I doubt I’d know how to handle that. But as everyone has said, and as you point out, we’re not talking about people who were good in the first place.

      • BosGrl

        They are truly terrible people.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Dagnabbit, BG, you’re right, and all of a sudden I do too. Shakespeare saw this: he’s Lear, sunk in dementia, manipulated by family and ‘friends,’ turning on those few who are genuinely on his side, and at the end he’ll be abandoned and alone, but this time without even a fool for company. The difference is that he’ll never have that moment of self-realisation that Lear had. He’ll die with imprecations in his mouth and a half-eaten drumstick in his hand…

      • BosGrl

        Yes! I hadn’t even thought to relate him to Lear.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) Bannon thought Trump had a mind to lose. that’s so sweet!

    b) very very very very very bigly very very yooge very yea verily!

    c) let’s investigate this “heavily made-up” thing since he was the guy who looks least best in a tuxedo at that party which must have been difficult with Banana Runtz and Nazi Haircut around! or are they saying that Trump is fat? “no fatty! no fatty! you are the transfat!”

    d) “we all know and want out of our daily lives.” FIFY.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Of course, Wolff says he has tapes to prove his shit, so LORDY WE HOPE THERE ARE TAPES.

    Oh God, I hope so–I was worried after seeing something in WaPo yesterday that said Richard Wolff has been known to make shit up in the past. Bring out those tapes now please and thank you!

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      he used microwaves and wire tapps!

    • Nockular cavity

      Oh, come on. When has a President ever been brought down by tapes?

      • Snowbound Ron

        There was that one time when Ford was given a Scotch tape dispenser and left unsupervised.

  • Daniel

    “Made up”-

    is that a reference to the spray tan?

    • Snowbound Ron

      I think it went beyond a spray tan this time. It looked like they’d ground off the old finish right down to the metal, covered the cracks and rust with Bondo, and done a quickie paint job. Mark my words, it’ll start coming off in layers by the weekend.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Or used an day-glo orange magic marker.

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    I just came from THR and had to walk away as the Dunning-Kruger freak flag is flying waaaay high over there. It’s exhausting, and they only get more shrill and name-cally when they feel threatened with facts about their idol.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The Hollywood Reporter? I like their TV reviews.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Yes, there are excerpts of the book there. It has his base riled up.

  • OddMan

    Here we go with the third excerpt from The Book, this one is from GQ mag.

    http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/michael-wolff-book-trump

  • Jennaratrix

    A few months before the election, I made the observation to my father that Trump wasn’t fit to serve as president. He scoffed at me for being an intellectual libtard elitist, and said that was just the kind of thing a Hillary supporter would say when they didn’t have any REAL reason to not support Trump. We argued pretty strenuously about this topic for a while, and then both decided to not discuss politics anymore, because it was going to cause a(nother) rupture in our relationship, or potentially a second heart attack for him, which I didn’t want to be responsible for. Now we talk about our dogs, and he asks me about work.

    It’s all I can do to not ask him if he still thinks I’m an intellectual libtard elitist for calling it. I’m guessing no and he doesn’t want to admit it. Because I’ll tell you what, if against all odds Trump had turned out to be a good president, he’d have crowed. And I’d have eaten crow.

    • BosGrl

      That’s generally the difference between Rs and Ds. We genuinely want what’s best for the country.

    • mardam422

      He won’t admit it. None of the true believers will. Mark my words. After the fall (and it will be a mighty one) they will claim that if only Trump had been given a chance….
      You know how hard it is to admit you’re wrong? Well these people will have to admit they were duped by a carnival barker, too. They’d have to admit they were stupid.

      • bupkus231

        And go on believing Rump’s downfall was all part of the massive conspiracy.

        Weren’t all these assholes the ones making fun of Hillary’s comment back in the 90s about a “vast right wing conspiracy”? Now, everything IS a conspiracy to them….

      • Stulexington

        Obama was a do nothing president before his first 100 days were up but Trump just needs a little more time after a fucking year.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s when the gloves should come off and they be shown the errors of their ways.

      • BadKitty904

        I know people who still think Nixon was innocent. The GOP base is a cult.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          There are people who STILL think the Confederacy was a good idea. #thereisnohope

        • WotsAllThisThen

          The only question now is which of his staff will be the first to get Trump’s face tattooed on their back?

          • BadKitty904

            Stephen Miller. He’s got the dead eyes of a “true believer”.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      One thing Trump supporters have in abundance- stubbornness

      • YoBunnyBunny

        But please don’t call them on it. It hurts their little fee fees.

        After over a year of this, I really think it’s high damn time to quit tiptoeing around their egos and let Trumpers know that they are just shit people. They talked all that trash about “Trump tells it like it is” but can’t bear to get told a thing or two themselves.

      • Jennaratrix

        That was true of my dad before he went GOP. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I’m pretty damn stubborn my own self.

  • mardam422

    Hope Hicks is the best piece of tail Corey will ever have. Hey!! Where you going, Hope? That was a compliment!! Sheesh! It’s not like she’s a cunt, like that Sally Yates. She’s a good cunt. In fact, she has the best cunt. Go ahead. Ask Corey. He’ll tell you.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Are we still on speakerphone?

  • JMP

    Dammit, I always wanted to try pot, but I guess I should have taken advantage of the legalization here during the three days it lasted; now the Nazi has announced he’s cracking down on it. Ah well, maybe by the time I’m 60 it will finally be legal and I’ll get the chance to try it.

    • bbayliss

      You’ll never be the same.
      Listen to the Grateful Dead, and don’t look in a mirror.

      • JMP

        But the Grateful Dead is one of the worst, suckiest bands that ever existed! Plus I may be old, but I’m not elderly; only 90 year olds like that awful shit.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Q: What did one deadhead say to the other when the pot ran out?
          A: Man this music sucks!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          try Barton Hall 77, it may change your mind

        • weighmaster

          I always liked Santana while high.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Take a trip to Canada after July 1. Legal weed AND Timbits.
      … my gods, Canadians are gonna get so FAT…

  • George

    The whole backstage disclosure makes each of these people even worse, IMO. If Spicer, Conway, Tillerson, Cohn, et al were so disturbed by what they were doing in the service of this jumped-up JLA villain, then fuck them all the way off the bridge. Isn’t there some kind of clause about harming your country in the pursuit of personal gain? Well, there should be. Can we make one?

    • JustPretendImNotHere

      Regarding Conway, I still remember watching her (when she was part of the Ted Cruz campaign) just go after some Trump defender on CNN in the early days of the whole fandango. Either money does indeed talk or somebody’s got something pretty bad on her somewhere…

      • BigCSouthside

        Oh no it’s money. She’s a whore.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I don’t believe Hope Hicks “fled the room” — that part’s just too pat. She probably muttered “fuck you pigs” under her breath, spun around and slammed the door behind her, because who puts up with that shit? Everything else sounds perfectly believable, including the first part of that conversation, which is grounds for arguing that the White House is a hostile work environment, and that Assmouth is the cause.

    • Daniel

      “Fled the room” is much more feminine. It’s much more the sort of thing a poorly treated Cinderella-heroine does before being rescued by a handsome reporter/author a handsome Prince standing up for her to the orange ogre.

      • Holiday Bozi

        Orange Ogre = Dreck?

    • BigCSouthside

      You ever read her statements on trump? Woman has Stockholm Syndrome

    • bbayliss

      Who has sex with Lewandowski?

      • Daniel

        Disappointed women.

        • bbayliss

          The Onion described her parentage as “a bolt of tweed fabric and a thoroughbred horse.”

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or overly ambitious

      • The Wanderer

        Farm animals.

      • Nockular cavity

        Are you implying, “voluntarily?”

      • Daniel

        A lot more people since he got Stephen Miller as his wingman.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Lewandowski’s hand?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Women who wear bullet necklaces, and then transform themselves into the First Lady’s doppelganger?

      • cmd resistor

        I thought the bullet necklace person was Katrina? Although I confess to getting them mixed up.

        • SnowBomber

          You’re correct, it’s that screeching Pierson woman.

  • Snowbound Ron

    The housemate used to drink. A LOT. Wonkette-level drinking. By the time the bottle was empty she do that thing, repeating the same two or three points over and over and over. The fellow who rents the other house is the same way, except it’s generally ONE thing.
    I know Dumpster Donnie doesn’t drink (or so we’re told) but I have to think something similar is going on. The brakes are off and his mind is rolling downhill.

    • BadKitty904

      Dementia, syphilis-related or otherwise…

    • ManchuCandidate

      A coke head I once knew would regale me with the same fucking stories over and over again. At the time I was fucking scared of her connected pals so I suffered the boring crazy stories while acting not bored out of my fucking mind. That changed when I realized her biker pals didn’t care about her either and would leave her shrieking in rage.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    OT: things I learned

    while you can pair wine with bbq, you should probably not talk about it.

    Big Red should never be drunk with bbq…it probably should not be drunk at all.

    • wait! what?

      Zins and Shiraz works. Reduce some of the wine and add it to the sauce and it will pair even better.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        what did I say about probably not talking about it?

        also too: TX bbq doesn’t do sauce.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          But it does do a mean rub. I hope to talk my folks into at least one BBQ meal while we’re in Dallas in a couple weeks.

      • Erala Contratista

        Yes!!!
        El Contratisto is a winer and Zin and Shiraz work great with BBQ. Even a BBQ judge friend says “yes, I’ll have summa datt”. But it’s not vinegar based sauce.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The city of Napa might disagree, there is an excellent BBQ wine bar downtown.

      • Hollandaise

        People are so weird about wine. It’s booze – enjoy it however the fuck you want to.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        the expert said he drinks wine with bbq often, but he wouldn’t recommend it because he needs people to read his bbq columns.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        You can barbecue wine?

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          you can smoke it.

  • WiscoJoe

    No one respects this president. No one. Even his most loyal supporters either revel in his disrepute or they view him as some sort of ghastly, necessary evil.

    It’s crazy how so much of the political coverage over the past year is based on the assumption that “president=respected” and then bends-over-backwards to justify that assumption, when the truth has been quite clear. No one respects Trump.

    • The Wanderer

      I didn’t respect him when he was a parvenu ‘real estate developer’ living high on the hog and acting like a rich asshole.

      • WiscoJoe

        What’s the old saying? “If you want respect you have to give respect” or alternately “If you want respect you have to earn it.”

        Trump doesn’t respect anything. Trump hasn’t done anything to earn respect. This is just a simple fact. He’s incapable of respect.

        I’m not sure this has been true of any other President, at least in modern history. Sure, there have been lots of terrible presidents, but they were respected by at least some of their colleagues or staffers or base. Not Trump. No one respects him.

      • BadKitty904

        He’s now a parvenu ‘President,’ living high on the hog and acting like a rich asshole.

      • Resistor Radio

        Yay, Wanderer, I love you for bringing me new words to look up and enjoy. Parvenu is a good one, a succinct way to say “his father’s in trade and lives in Cheapside,” yes?

        • The Wanderer

          That’s one way of putting it, yeah. “More money than taste/class” or “rich white trash” are a few others.

          • willi0000000

            LOMBARD!

      • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

        Yep.
        NYC has hated him for years.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      As a not American, I’ve noticed over the years that it always seems to be ‘respect the Republican president.’ Democrats, and their families, seem to be fair game for any abuse.

      • willi0000000

        ask Amy Carter, Chelsea Clinton and Sasha and Malia . . . a lot of young women i’ve known couldn’t stand the kind of daily abuse they got while their fathers were prez.

        i wonder . . . why no ‘D’ Presidents lately with sons?

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      This is, of course, all behind his back. In his presence they line up to lick his ass and suck his dick show their loyalty. I should write a book, “Profiles in Back Stabbing”. No courage, no backbones anywhere.

    • greyXstar

      Respect is earned. He’s never done anything in his miserable, sad sack life to deserve any.

    • BadKitty904

      Respect is earned. The only thing Turmp has ever earned in his entire lifetime is contempt.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Also that fat ass of his, which is the only thing getting greater.

    • Debra Dassow

      One of my biggest issues is that Trump is making the position of the President of the United States irrevalent

      • WiscoJoe

        Just as Putin planned.

    • miss_grundy

      Dotard is just a means to an end. The end being destroying America from within.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    “If you have any poo, this would be the right moment to toss it to the fan.”

    https://twitter.com/GuardianRover/status/948951653641670656

    • The Wanderer

      They probably took a “fact-finding mission” to Amsterdam and tried the brownies.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Then they would no longer be Republicans.

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          They certainly would be mellow though.

        • MynameisBlarney

          They’d be libertarians?

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Space cake FTW!

    • Rick Hill

      So, either things are coming to a head and all the garbage can’t be held back or they want to try to get all this shist out of the way so people forget about it before the midterms. Plus they feel okey dokey because the tax cuts passed so dump the excess baggage, quickly

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      It won’t go anywhere.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Freedom Carcass says whut?

    • Victoria Ricola

      If I win the big powerball, I’m setting up my permanent residence in Ohio’s 4th congressional district just so I can vote against Jim Jordan.

      • cmd resistor

        Just take one of those Soros buses when the election comes.

      • SnowBomber

        After you beat him, buy him a damn suit jacket. That pus-head apparently thinks every day is Casual Friday.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      “The influential conservative House (Let’s Take Away Every) Freedom Cause”

      I’m interested in how they define ‘influential’.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I notice that too. isn’t the Meadows from the Mountain Meadows Massacre?

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Meadows is A fucking idiot.

      • TJ Barke

        Freedom is for corporations.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        They make Paul Ryan sad.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hell, I say they should do it. Fire Sessions, get the next AG to sink Mueller’s investigation, and watch the fucking bloodbath at the polls later this year. Then the Democratic-controlled senate will reconstitute the investigation one way or another – and you can bet that Mueller will share every bit of intel he’s got.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Meanwhile, there’s still NY State’s investigation.

      • bupkus231

        There’s gonna be a bloodbath at the polls later this year, anyway ( Sorry, Newt – no one fucking believes you ).

    • willi0000000

      go ahead, fire sessions . . . and trumplethinskin can appoint another Alabama senator into the job.

      [ 50/50 ]

  • La forza del resistino

    Give Donald 40% off the top for book sales and he’ll be out on Pennsylvania Ave hawking it this afternoon.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    My impression of Sally Yates is that she does, in fact, have charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

    https://diaryofatvjunkie.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/rupaul-2.gif

  • msanthropesmr

    BBC has fascinating analysis of the book. They’re saying he’s Streisand effecting and legitimizing the book.

    • Daniel

      He is.

      His supporters will claim this is X dimensional chess, while the rest of us will see it as yet another example of his self-defeating, impulsive bitterness.

      • ManchuCandidate

        But his supporters are as fucking stupid or worse. The majority is even stupider.

        • Daniel

          That’s how they’ll be able to convince themselves that he’s a strategic genius.

          • ManchuCandidate

            I know. They are so fucking hopelessly dumb. If they didn’t cause so much damage to people and institutions I would pity them but at this point I don’t.

          • willi0000000

            yeah . . . it’s hard to get any sympathy up for all those someones who would sell their grannies if it would make this quarter look better or buy some more oxy . . . in some cases, probably both.

    • Edith Prickly

      Of course he is. Wolff is going to make out like a bandit on book sales.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Kind of awkward for Lewandowski that his trashy book had less details about the probably imaginary affair with Hope Hicks he and Roger Stone have been shopping around, for some definition of the word ‘awkward’ which somehow surpasses trying desperately to convince the world you were fucking a coworker while your wife and four children waited home for you.

      • miss_grundy

        Hope Hicks is a very attractive young lady. Why would she allow that scumbucket Corey Lewandowski anywhere near her?

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Why would she hang out with the shitgibbon?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          More to the point, she was hired by Ivanka, who was pretty forthright about constantly trying to get him fired. It seems improbable.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    There will be a (multiple choice) quiz.

    According to his closest associates, the President of the United States is:

    1) A Moron

    2) A Fucking Moron

    3) Dumb as Shit

    4) A Hopeless Idiot

    5) All of Them, Katie.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Decisions, decisions.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      #5 of course!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I feel like this is a trick question…

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    1-4-18

    Wonkette Non-Commenters
    501 Chicago Ave
    Minneapolis, MN 55403

    Re: False and defamatory statements made by no-commentators to Skwerl, Taco Hunter, a Sovrun’ Critter regarding canned clams.

    Dear Mr. Feminist Lawyer:

    We represent Skwerl, Taco Hunter, a Sovrun’ Critter in connection with the above-referenced matter. Wonkette Non-Commientors, its directors, officers, agents, employees, non-commientors, and assigns (collectively, “Meanies”) are hereby warned and notified to CEASE AND DESIST making false and defamatory statements regarding Skwerl, Taco Hunter, a Sovrun’ Critter and its ongoing matters with Meanies.

    It has come to our attention that false statements were made by Meanies. On January 4, 2018 A.D. Someone here told Skwerl he liked canned clams and it hurt his feelies.

    The statements made by Meines regarding Skwerl, Taco Hunter, a Sovrun’ Critter are false, defamatory, constitute tortious interference with business, and as such, are actionable under Soverun law.

    If our client is forced to commence a lawsuit against Meanies in order to stop continued false and defamatory statements, be advised that we will seek recovery of all attorneys’ fees and costs incurred herein as a result. While we certainly hope this is not necessary, we are prepared to pursue whatever avenues are necessary on behalf of our client to stop the continued false and defamatory statements made against Skwerl, Taco Hunter, a Sovrun’ Critter by Meanies.

    Sincerely,
    Ty Acorn
    Attorney at Law

    • Edith Prickly

      Edith of Clan Prickly: sui generis and Freewoman on the Internetz, says you do too like canned clams and you are not the Boss of Her.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        There are monsters on all sides. All sides, all right?

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        I saw a Skwerl carrying a can of clams just last week.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          His fur was perfect.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Did he get it at Trader Joe’s (Vic’s)?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Awooo.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Bite my shiny metal ass.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      To quote one misshapen -headed first son, “I love it.”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        To quote another, “I have the greatest lawyers.”

    • miss_grundy

      Is Ty Acorn Dotard’s new lawyer?

  • schmannity

    It’s almost like if you form an administration with angry shitheads, sociopaths, grifters, Nazis, and genetically flawed children, bad things happen. Weird!

    • rosenbomb

      Who could have predicted this??

      • schmannity

        A mystery for the ages.

        • rosenbomb

          We should go interview more people in the Rust Belt to try and figure out How This Happened™

          • schmannity

            It’s that devilish economic anxiety.

          • miss_grundy

            No, the people in the Rust Belt are just as stupid or even stupider than he is. They are addicted to reality television programming and do not understand that those shows are not real. They are just dumb. If eugenics were a thing today, those people would have been institutionalized and sterilized to stop this country from becoming dumber.

          • schmannity

            Eugenics is alive. It’s just called GOP taxation and health care policy

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            And the shows are edited. I’d love to see unedited footage of The Apprentice. I suspect it’d show Don to be the con he is.

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            Mark Burnett could still save the world by releasing those.

          • miss_grundy

            Isn’t he a Republican? He probably puts party over country.

          • Hiss

            Offer him money.

          • miss_grundy

            Well, it would certainly show how bigoted, prejudiced and misogynistic he is and if you were disgusted by the “Hollywood Access” tape, it would probably be worse since it would be raw and unedited tape.

          • Edith Prickly

            OBAMA.

          • chimpevil

            Yeah but please do not forget all the Bernie or busters and their anti-Hillary enablers for making it all possible. There should be a special Purity Pony circle of Hell for them.

          • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

            Never forgive, never forget.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Noooooooo!

      • miss_grundy

        Everybody who has been alive for the past forty-some-odd years. From those of us who grew up reading about him in the New York tabloids to those of you who watched him on those celebrity magazine interview shows in the 80s. He has always been a narcissistic, childish asshole. He hasn’t grown at all.

        • rosenbomb

          My mom has hated him for years and years. She got blocked by him on Twitter years ago and shares this information proudly lol

  • rosenbomb

    Remember all the times Obama tried to prevent publishers from releasing books critical of him? Oh, wait.

    In addition to the year irony died, 2017 is also the year hypocrisy stopped meaning anything. Hypocrisy means little when it is your modus operandi.

  • Gayer Than Thou
    • schmannity

      Divine’s bad sister, Damned.

      • weejee

        Divine Comedy?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      It’s an improvement. Anything would be an improvement.

      • Meccalopolis

        yeah, I like him better your way

      • Hiss

        It looks more natural. Hair is better. Face less orange.

  • schmannity

    Just in time for the summer blockbuster season: Fort Apache, the White House.

  • TundraGrifter

    I thought the writer Ed Klein (“Klown” to anyone who has tried to read one of his works) had a corner on made-up-stuff-about-somebody-famous books. Now the Regressives have to suffer such an ignominious fate. Of course, it’s possible that Wolff isn’t crying “Wolf!” and these people actually said what he quotes. Whatever.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, that was one lovely part about Wolff’s piece in the Hollywood Reporter.

      After the election, I proposed to him that I come to the White House and report an inside story for later publication — journalistically, as a fly on the wall — which he seemed to misconstrue as a request for a job. No, I said. I’d like to just watch and write a book. “A book?” he responded, losing interest. “I hear a lot of people want to write books,” he added, clearly not understanding why anybody would. “Do you know Ed Klein?”— author of several virulently anti-Hillary books. “Great guy. I think he should write a book about me.” But sure, Trump seemed to say, knock yourself out.

      like Michael Wolff is looking down from some lofty promontory at Ed Klein, as if Michael Wolff isn’t equally as famous as Ed Klein for just making shit up and writing about thing he can have no possible source for as though he was in the room.

    • Erala Contratista

      Paging Kitty Kelly………

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    Welp, this is literally what 25A is for. Before I just wanted it to be because he was embarrassing and criminally incompetent, but now we actually have a less vindictive reason. He has senile dementia or early signs of Alzheimer’s. The Republicans don’t even need to do any condemnation of his character. The only problem would be getting him in front of a doctor who won’t sign a loyalty oath and lie to us.

    • CripesAmighty

      Not buying it. The man’s just a blithering idiot. Always has been. It just becomes readily apparent when called to do something more complex than flog mail order beef and make money in real estate by stiffing contractors.

      • rosenbomb

        I’m with you. I am hesitant to speak on any diagnoses Trump may or may not have because we truly don’t know. What we do know, however, is that he is narcissistic, thin-skinned, volatile, and stupid. That in itself is enough to remove him from office. That was enough not to vote for him in the first place.

        • Courser_Resistance

          The man is terminally stupid. Always was, always will be. Dementia is just a possible cherry on top.

    • Rags

      He is scheduled for a physical very soon and the results are reportedly to be made public.

      http://time.com/5081641/donald-trump-presidential-physical/

      • SnowBomber

        I predict a lot of redaction in that physical report. There’s no way he’ll let anyone know how obese he is.

      • greyXstar

        Right. Just like Grassley was totally on board with releasing the FusionGPS hearing transcripts…until he wasn’t. We’ll never see the results.

      • Hiss

        Sure they will. Right after the tax returns.

  • beatbort

    Just for the record, before he is carted away from the White House in a strait jacket, I want to say Donald Trump was always like this. Always.

    • Edith Prickly

      Yes. He should have stuck to making guest appearances on the WWE.

      • chimpevil

        Isn’t his “presidency” pretty much the same thing?

    • cmd resistor

      That is why it pisses me off so much that he “won.” A guy with absolutely no redeeming qualities, stupid, and an asshole.

      • miss_grundy

        It tells you something about the Republican base that they are stupid enough to be gulled by a scam artist like Dotard.

        • Daniel

          It’s important to remember that people who fall for cons are not necessarily stupid. The con-artist exists and thrives because they work at what they do- they develop skills to trick people. Their livelihoods depend on them being able to make people believe against their better judgement, to exploit the little gaps in critical thinking and the hope and dreams that are a core part of the human condition. It is this that makes being a con-artist so very cruel- it depends on exploiting some of the best parts of being human and preying on the refuge of the desperate to make a buck.

          Trump, on the other tiny hand, is not a con-artist. He is a lazy, willfully ignorant, stupid fungus in a poorly fitting suit. His supporters aren’t being gulled by a scam artist- they are letting a stupid bar room blowhard bellow their own fears back at them as a way of validating them. They’re asking to be conned because it relieves them of responsibility for the horrors they are wishing on everyone else.

          • cmd resistor

            YES.

          • Jimh

            THIS^. If there is anything in Wolff’s released excerpts that I believe the MOST, it’s that policy decisions were made specifically because the new administration believed they would enrage liberals. So, governing by spite (Trolling, basically).

        • cmd resistor

          Indeed. I mean, if he were a GOOD scam artist, it wouldn’t be quite so bad. He makes carnival barkers look legit.

  • CripesAmighty

    Legislative badass Adam Schiff is on. Wow. That’s what complete sentences and paragraphs sound like. I’d completely forgotten.

    • willi0000000

      on where?
      on what?
      on who? (or is it whom?)

      • CripesAmighty

        Andrea Mitchell. Sorry, your Weekly Moment Of Coherence is over.

        • willi0000000

          i haven’t had a Weekly Moment Of Coherence™ yet . . . and i don’t intend to start now!!!!!

    • miss_grundy

      Andrea Mitchell has a guy who looks like a Republican on right now. At least he is talking like a Trumpster and saying that Wolff’s book is more a work of fiction. I can’t stand Mitchell, so I guess I will have to wait until the next hour when Craig Melvin is on to watch MSNBC.

  • WiscoJoe

    “Even Trump’s loyal, longtime body guard Keith Schiller — for reasons darkly whispered about in the West Wing — was out.”

    Anyone want to darkly whisper some reasons? What’s this about?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Out of what? Trump fired him?

      • Daniel

        No, he quit. Apparently the money wasn’t as good as standing on the door at a club.

        • elviouslyqueer

          To be fair, it’s not like he didn’t know that his boss was a total shyster whose sole M.O. in life was refusing to pay people.

    • elviouslyqueer

      My money’s on him bumping uglies with Melanoma, and they got caught.

      • Daniel

        You’re saying he used Melania to beat Eric and Don Jr?

        • elviouslyqueer

          That would certainly explain her eternally pinched-face expression.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Something of that nature I’m sure.

      • Me not sure

        …and/or Jared.

        • Daniel

          Nah, Jared just watched.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And fapped.

        • elviouslyqueer

          RELEASE THE TAPES!

      • Roadstergal

        Or Ivanka.

    • TundraGrifter

      He wouldn’t be the FBI’s inside source mentioned by the two gentlemen in their NYT op-ed? Would he? I’m still thinking it’s Felix Slater, but I’m open to actually information instead of idle speculation.

      • cmd resistor

        I think the guy the op-ed guys were talking about was Papadopolous, the coffee guy. Not like a mole, but that he was what got the FBI looking at Trump and Russia in the first place, not the dossier.

        • Jay Hansen

          I guess we can rule out Turkish covfefe.

        • TundraGrifter

          I think that idea has a great deal of merit.

      • Rags

        Mueller will inevitably encounter him in his investigations and then put the squeeze on him and he will sing like a canary in Witness Protection.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          I read that as Witless Protection.

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, I was hoping someone could shed some light/speculation on this one.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Schiller was rumored to be a Gentleman of Respect, although I don’t know if that’s why.

    • miss_grundy

      Perhaps the Russians have kompromat on him? Or Mr. Mueller knows his secrets? I hope that the Democrats who are reading this are able to sit down with the national group and put together a platform that they can use in local, state and federal elections that will bring a wave of Democratic wins on every level. We need to move this man out of the Oval Office and clean the stench from our government before China becomes an entrenched world power. And every Trump supporter should be bitch-slapped into the ground, without benefit of votes.

      • WiscoJoe

        Schiller was there the night Trump spent at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. Whether that night involved Schiller procuring pee-hookers for Trump is still yet to be proven. Or maybe he failed trying to stop Trump from falling for an obvious honey-pot and could no longer live with the shame.

        • cmd resistor

          Oh, yeah, forgot about that Moscow thing. He was in the hall and didn’t see any hookers so went to bed.

          • Jimh

            I think he left the gap in his story to cover his ass in case tapes surface.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’m betting he was Assmouth’s bagman — roofies and coke, payoffs, menacing underage sexual assault victims — that sort of thing.

      • WiscoJoe

        Definitely! That dude has seen some shit for sure. I keep waiting for the drugs and sex trafficking to be revealed.

  • Jack Tenhet

    The excerpts do ring true so far. More than a few of us have believed for some time that they had no intention of actually winning the election. In fact, as it is described in the excerpts is exactly how I imagined the mood to be when his victory was announced. A combination of grief and sheer terror within the Donnie orbit.

    • Jimh

      In the last several months of the election I got the distinct impression that he was TRYING to tank it. But the worse he looked the more his crowd roared. I really do think that most of the campaign was terrified of him actually getting the job, but he is just delusional enough to think he could do it once he won.

  • Michael R
  • Me not sure
  • DainBramage

    I don’t want Trump removed from office because he’s mentally unstable and delusional. I want him removed because he and his gang are criminals.

    • Jay Hansen

      I can picture him hanging in state by his heels from a lamppost.

  • msanthropesmr
    • Carpe Vagenda

      What’s this? Sessions was less than truthful during his confirmation hearings, and the glibertarians got played like the whiny spoiled children they are?

      Well, Cory Gardner is going to take this sitting down, but in an extremely disrespectful way.

      • TJ Barke

        They sure respect them states’ rights, don’t they?

      • Notreelyhelping

        Every Republican office holder on the West Coast just reflexively threw down this morning’s paper and whispered: “Fucking idiot.”

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah, Rep. Faso (R-anywhere that’ll vote for him, but NY) is getting pounded to powder over how badly they fucked NYS.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Both coasts are incensed about the offshore oil leases. Like all those groovy coastal property owners in Orange County. Big donors, some of them.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Yeah, he’ll be concerned like Flake often is.

        • greyXstar

          Yes, quite concerned indeed! Harrumph!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “Gardner, whose home state voted to legalize pot in 2012, also suggested that Sessions had lied to him when he assured him before his confirmation hearing that he would not take any such actions.”

      Ummm, DUH! He’s a Republican like you. You ALL lie as easily as you breathe

      • TJ Barke

        But Zippyyyyyy! They’re not supposed to lie to each other, just the dumb rubes! Gosh!

        • Courser_Resistance

          Coloradans as a whole aren’t exactly in love with the feds to begin with. This’ll be an interesting shit show a least

      • RobGinChicago

        What, no honor among thieves?

  • canes_pugnaces

    Perhaps most interesting is Bannon claiming everlasting fealty to the Orange God, and Breitbart all torn up because Orange God don’t love them no more.

    • Daniel

      You misspelt “fellati”.

      • canes_pugnaces

        (Good alternate spelling, and perhaps more accurate)

    • miss_grundy

      From the few minutes I heard from Stephanie Ruhle this morning, it seems that the Mercers may not be willing to bankroll Bannon any longer at Breitbart. So, if he is forced out, he may have to find his own funding to continue his political nihilism.

      • Zyxomma

        He may have the money to self-fund, or he has access to other awful billionaires.

  • weejee

    lol, thanks Evan.

    / blots tears

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    You must all realize that once the Trumpsterfire is escorted from the political stage, in whatever manner, we sane, rational people will have the take on the task to Make America Great Again.

    • Oblios_Cap

      that’s fine by me.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Looking forward to that….
      Oh…wait…you said sane…
      Well, fuck…

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        How about ‘works well with others’? Will that work?

    • (((Sedagive)))

      We’ve done it once (or twice), we can do it again.

    • greyXstar

      It’s our lot in life. It’s not a lot, but it’s a life.

  • Jgb979

    I don’t know why anyone is gasping and clutching their pearls at anecdotes that reveal Donnie J to be a deeply stupid mental toddler with dementia. You can pretty much cite to “the entirety of 2017” for support

    I do worry(a lil between all the giggles) that he’s actually becoming completely unglued, and we will find him smearing his feces on the walls declaring himself to be MAGA napoleon of the magical white space ponies that live in his mind.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      How do you know he doesn’t? Remember, he won’t let the White House housekeeping staff into his bedroom until after Ivanka goes in.

      • Suttree

        ANd now you 2 are allowed to argue to the death! Start!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You know, the sheets thing makes me wonder who the incontinent is in this situation.

        • Rags

          sheds a new shining, golden light on the pee tape story…..

          • SnowBomber

            Maybe the Dodgy Dossier had it backwards and it was really Trump peeing on Russian hookers?

        • John Thorstensen

          “Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth, incontenent … “

        • Jimh

          ICBMs?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            now that is some cold shit.

      • pstokk

        Out. Goes out.

    • TimResistit

      I think , at least around here, you are mistaking ‘clutching their pearls” with “holding our sides”.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Context is everything. Sam Nunberg called Drumpf a “fucking fool” when they were cuddling in bed.

  • Shelli Kae

    Love, by golly! A good impression of the Donald Trump we all know & LOATH! Hee Hee! Even auto-corrrct got that one right. It knew Donald Trump &
    l o v e didn’t belong in the same sentence.

  • Swampgas_Man

    At Mar-a-Lago, just before the new year, a heavily made-up Trump failed to recognize a succession of old friends.

    FACTCHECK: Waitaminnit, Trump has FRIENDS?

    • Paperless Tiger

      He makes new friends every day, but it’s the same people.

      • AJ Milne

        Okay… That almost made me feel pity.

        (Stop that.)

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      They misspelled sycophants.

    • Hardly Ideal

      More like assets, I’d say. With emphasis on the “ass.”

  • Rags

    Mildly OT question… could the ban on personal cell phones actually be aimed at 4-5’s random tweets? Or does he use a gummint phone which would make all of his communications on it official records?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      What they should take away is his TV remote.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Or give him a fake news feed where everything is glorious and wonderful, so the rest of us don’t have to live in fear of nuclear war.

    • shivaskeeper

      This is to stop any unauthorized comms only. Personal phones would not be subject to the archiving requirements. If someone wanted to see what you were sending out on a government device, there is no expectation of privacy. They can pretty well ask to see the archive and be done with it. Personal devices would take a bit more. Like a warrant or something.

      His personal phone is no longer personal.

  • La forza del resistino

    One premise this book puts forward is that Donald didn’t expect to win but just improve his Brand..
    This quote from 2000 –
    “It’s very possible that I could be the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it,” Trump said

    • shivaskeeper

      That was widely tossed about during the GOP Primary as well. He was looking for 15-20% approval, then supposed to drop out, now being able to bill himself as a Presidential candidate as well to pad the old CV. The word was his ego got the best of him and he stayed in.

      • GlazedHaim

        Pretty sure that no part of him could be considered “best”

        • shivaskeeper

          No part of him, sure. That is the correct use of the word in the sentence though and does not imply he is the best,

      • La forza del resistino

        True. mike huckabee amongst others have made a career off their failed candidacies.

    • Spurning Beer

      No question about it, Donald was following the strategy in The Producers.

      • La forza del resistino

        at least Zero Mostel was a likeable character.

    • greyXstar

      There was also that photo (which I can’t find right now) from the moment the call was made. Everyone in the room has a happy or shocked look on their face, but Donnie has his head in his hands, looking like he wants to die.

      • La forza del resistino

        As in The Candidate flic where a victorious paper candidate Redford asks ‘now what’

      • kareemachan

        I heard melanoma cried.

        • greyXstar

          Can wax figures cry?

        • H0mer0

          Did you hear her pray the night Chicago died?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    well, dow hit a record high today, so I”m guessing THAT’s what we’ll be hearing about all day.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And it’s Infrastructure Week!

      • theCryptofishist

        Again!

    • TJ Barke

      What, you don’t like rampant, unsustainable speculation?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I remember the last time.

        • RobGinChicago

          My paycheck, that hasn’t even nearly recovered to it’s 2010 level, won’t let me forget.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? what part of investor bubble don’t these people see:
        This comes to mind:
        https://youtu.be/DgRLlqEvOT8?t=9

        • Courser_Resistance

          Yeah, it’s inflating based on nothing but bullshit and hot air. Naw, nothing can go wrong with that.

          Jeebux Christ, I’m old. I’ve seen this play too many fucking times already. It never ends well. All the Not-Rich get fucked and then the Rich turn around and fuck ’em all over again.

          I need to stop there.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Where have we seen this before? Oh yes, 1929, deja vu.

  • Red Bird

    As the resident race baitor I feel obligated to remind everyone that this man, Donald Trump, was white Americans’ idea of an improvement over Barack Obama. Let that sink in for the rest of the day. Then come tell me about how economically anxietious white people are.

    • White Right Spite

      • Blackest Noobs

        this and this….and p.s. not race baiting IF TRUE ( which it is).

    • willi0000000

      i’m an old economically anxious melanin-deficient person . . . but i know something those idiot trumpanzees don’t . . . my father once told me “if you want to live like a republican, vote for a Democrat”

    • Zyxomma

      #NotAllWhitePeople

    • Hardly Ideal

      Weird, my idea of an improvement over Barack Obama would’ve included a third term of Barack Obama.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Oh, shit. I want to stay around and play some more, but the International Dateline is oppressing me again. This nasty, vile, snarky olds has to hit the futon soonest or it’s keyboardface time.
    Catch y’all later today, depression willing. I’ll be going to sleep wondering “Who’s Next?” heh-heh-heh

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Get some rest. I remember a time when the first thing I did in the morning wasn’t checking my phone for what unhinged blowup happened while I slept.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Roger that and on my way.

      • renegade500

        Oh those were the good days.

  • Suttree

    Something something……. something something…….. something something I ain’t even need too talk until dark

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      you okay buddy?

      • Suttree

        Dammit!~ You brought a clever caveat into this argument!

        • Suttree

          Hint hint hint suggestion!

          • Suttree

            So Svejk. My father and I were taking about your character over Christmas. Uh! One of my favorites! As you can see, I chose a classic for my avatar also! :) I really need to read Hasek again soon!

      • Suttree

        /FFS yeah, I’m fine.

        • Suttree

          I apparently don’t read enough mystery!

      • Suttree

        I’m good. We could talk here also too?

        • Suttree

          It’s snowing here! Like really hard and shit!

          • Suttree

            I walked to the store a little while ago and did not purchase enough cigarettes!

          • Suttree

            The wind is whipping!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          listen, i gotta run off to work soon. Try and take a nap…

          • Suttree

            Alright. I will do my best.

  • greyXstar

    I’m sorry but if there’s a claim out that the president couldn’t recognize old friends, then nobody in any media organization should be talking about anything else. Get these people in front of cameras and ask them if it’s true.

    • Covfefe

      Donald, like Jared, is a businessman. Past friends don’t matter. What can you do for me now.

      • greyXstar

        More about his narcissism than dementia? Could be.

    • miss_grundy

      I doubt he has “friends”. He only has useful “business associates”. And once they are no longer useful, they are thrown under the bus. E.g. Roy Cohn.

      • greyXstar

        No question, but still.

    • Jimh

      He just doesn’t recognize them after fucking their wives.

      • theCryptofishist

        Ewwww! He fucks their wives? Poor, plutocratines.

        • Jimh

          I know, I felt bad after typing that, but it’s IN THE BOOK!

          • theCryptofishist

            That book is real trouble. I hope the women’s names aren’t listed, although if they were, Donnie might change his mind about suing.

    • Edith Prickly

      I suspect Trump forgets people very quickly if he hasn’t seen them in a while/they are no longer useful to him.

  • TJ Barke

    I hope it comes out on kindle…

    • SnowBomber

      It’s up for pre-order on Amazon. I never read this kind of political book but I’m buying this one. I barely care how much of it is true. I need the Trump schadenfreude.

      • cmd resistor

        Will be interesting to see if he attacks small parts or just says the whole thing is FAKE.

        • theCryptofishist

          Or both.

        • Hiss

          Whole thing. He couldn’t read it to pick out specific parts.

    • Jimh

      Ooooooh audio book! Read by who?
      Samuel L. Jackson?
      CHRISTOPHER WALKEN?

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        upfist for Christopher Walken.

        • H0mer0

          have you seen his rendition of “Pour Some Sugar on Me”?

      • sarafina

        Gilbert Gottfried?

        • Jimh

          Wow, definitely a contender! I can just imagine him pronouncing “Ivanka” and “Jared”.

      • H0mer0

        AOT,K

  • Run2Live

    Any more juicy tidbits about Kellyanne “Cry Baby” Conway?
    And who wouldn’t want to see her interviewed by Stephanie Ruhle?

    • Paperless Tiger
      • John Thorstensen

        She apparently dressed that way voluntarily. The bind moggles.

        • Beelzebubba

          Maybe she was trying out for a role in The Nutcracker.

          • John Thorstensen

            Heh heh. My kid is a dancer and just did 17 Nutcrackers in a row for Ballet Austin. But the costumes for the corps de ballet waltzes she was in were really nice, not little soldiers.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Nice, I love the Nutcracker even though it is not pc.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          You could get away with that outfit at a cosplay convention.

  • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

    I am SO ready for all this “whoa if true” stuff to come out!

  • Belasaurius

    As Jimmy Carter pointed out and I think Wonkette learned this to me this morning, the problem with the 25th Amendment is that there is no way to invoke it without the cooperation of the President, hahhaha. Oh fuck, we’re all going to die soon

    • OutOfOrbit

      then what’s the point? why even have it?

      • Belasaurius

        I think it was based on the idea that a normal person would recognize that their faculties were failing and put the nation above their own pride.
        So we’re all gonna die.

        • Belasaurius

          we have this part
          Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

          The only problem is that it relies on the executive department who are all as deranged as Trump or the Senate and House which are controlled by the twunts in the GOP

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Vice- President, right??? And cabinet? Unfortunately we have a tool for a VP, and a very religious one at that, who probably believes that it is “god’s plan” for the Rump to be in the OO, and won’t get behind a 25A unless there is some very intense tool- whispering done.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Maybe they’re still waiting for him to have a lucid moment.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Unless people encourage Pence’s wish to be president eg that really being God’s will.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          THAT is definitely the way to go!!!

        • Wookie Monster

          They should do the Real Genius thing and use a hidden microphone:

          “Michael, this is God! You need to invoke the 25th Amendment to save America. Also, stop jerking off!”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf-5RaFnh2U&ab_channel=Dralenan

    • Cooperation of the President could be taken to mean him showing clearly he has lost control of his faculties.

    • MANGO CRIMES

      That’s not correct, but you need the cooperation of the VP and Congress instead.

      DISCLAIMER: not a lawyer and I’m too lazy to even look this up on Wikipedia

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “Trump used to blow me the best…he’d take out his teeth and just go to town. Sadly, now he can hardly remember to cover his bald spot while blowing me. I will have to send him some tea soon.”

    Allegedly, V. Putin allegedly quoted in the alleged book by alleged Michael Wolff.

    • Hiptobesquare

      Filthy! Disgusting! Totally love it!

  • hillarysleftone

    how in the actual fuck does a demonstrated cretin like Corey Lewandowski get to even dream of the opportunity to hook up with Hope Hicks?

    fucking right wing politics, man…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    None of this is even implausible. If the boss is a dishonest idiot, his employees will occasionally mention that fact, sotto voce of course.

  • Flatulus

    Oh puleez! The Repubs would never enact the 25th Amendment for mere dementia – they were fine with Saint Ronnie throughout his second term.

    • Ducksworthy

      But most of the time Saint Ronnie didn’t know where he was.

      • sarafina

        Didn’t The Dotard lose his limousine?

    • MANGO CRIMES

      they actually came really close to using the 25th on Reagan.

    • Miles Monroe

      Reagan didn’t have Twitter or 24/7 cable news.

    • Petunia Cat

      Aha! There is a part in the 25th amendment that allows Congress to appoint a committee of worthies, specialists who can recommend the president be removed for being unfit. And then congress can do that.

      And before anybody says but the Republicans will never go for that, if Trump gets worse who knows? And how many Republicans do they need? I think it’s 24 in the house. And then there’s after the next midterms. When I have a funny feeling there will be more Democrats in the house. And more Republicans will be willing to embrace the Remove Party. 🤞🏼

    • I recall reading that some of Reagan’s cabinet were actually concerned about his mental faculties, so they resolved to pay close attention to him at the next meeting. If he showed any significant signs of dementia, they’d pull Article 4 of the 25th Amendment out so fast it would make your head spin.

      Reagan made it through the meeting with not a hint of trouble.

      • Flatulus

        I think you’re right but none-the-less, POTUS wasn’t always lucid.

      • Damian L

        Well, it was the finger paint meeting.

  • Daniel Hooper

    My grandfather exhibits a lot of Trump’s repetative and incoherent behavior to a lesser degree than Trump, and his car was the most potentially dangerous thing we had to take away from him. Somebody needs to take away Trump’s button.

    • Petunia Cat

      Or alternatively, his fingers. And since cutting them off would be cruel he should leave the White House with them when they are removed from it.

      I’m not reading that book either. It would make me feel soiled. I’ll just bits here and there. 😊

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Just give him one of those big red Easy buttons from Staples or Office Depot or wherever… he’ll be delighted, and everyone else will be safe.

  • MOG253

    Crap, may have to get this nasty book, just for the yuks.

    • sarafina

      I think it will be excerpted in so many places I can read 90% of it without buying it.

  • blaid droog

    Despite the fact that my partner pre-ordered the book from amazon, I will never read it because I am afraid it will hurt my brain. I am counting on Wonkette to keep me up to date with a fine blend of excerpts and dick jokes. Please make the dick jokes revolve around the trump family of dicks.

  • M.E. Lawrence

    Evan, it’s very kind of you to look at and select this ghastly stuff so that we don’t have to. (Especially the part about the Con’s calling the goddess Sally Yates ungentlemanly names.)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I”m assuming, being the fine lady that she is, when she first heard of this, Ms. Yates responded with, “Fuck him.”

  • Hardly Ideal

    I can’t say I’m surprised by any of these allegations, neither can I say why anyone would be.

    Say it with me, everyone: when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

  • Alternative Dog

    Golly, nothing Michael Wolff is saying is any different from EVERY OTHER GODDAMN THING WE HAVE HEARD SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

    For those who have been paying attention, nothing is different from anything we have heard about Trump for the past decade or two. He has always been a mendacious, ignorant, backstabbing slut. But yeah, his dementia has become much worse in the past two years.

  • Herewegoagain

    Never a dull moment with out Dear Leader ‘ it shows that joint that White House under that paranoid clown is dysfunctional Freakshow.!

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Nothing can make me feel bad for any of these people.

  • Wookie Monster

    They’re like the Lannisters only less sympathetic.

    • and way less competent.

    • blarg

      And they never repay their debts.

  • chronozoan

    They will all crash and burn and when the smoke settles and they crawl from the wreckage no one will lift a finger to help them.

  • george lastrapes

    Creepy or no? I’m starting to feel sorry for the PeeResident. So needy, so manipulable. A little flattery will do it. The man’s a victim.

    • Of himself. The real tragedy is that with his family’s wealth, he coulda had the best treatment available at that time. After all, Rosemary Kennedy had a lobotomy. No reason the Ol’ Pussy Grabber couldn’t have had just as good.

      • george lastrapes

        Maybe he did. I call him the Pussychopath.

  • SprinklemagicResistancebuns
  • Sheesko

    Just heard Sam Nunberg on CNN showing truly ass-kissing support for Trump, playing down the importance of the president’s disinterest in the Constitution by remarking that the Orange One has a lot of other stuff to do. It’s fun to watch all the roaches try to get back into the woodwork now after having appeared to Wolff in a moment of light.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I saw that too. Poor baby, he just had sooo much to do and learn.

  • george lastrapes

    Pence quits. Trump names Hillary VP. Trump resigns. Pres. Hillary grants pardons as needed. Trump given say five billion to GTFO forever. Jeff Bezos would supply the funds.
    Sound like a deal?

  • It is sounding more and more like the Ol’ Pussy Grabber’s steady diet of fast food, diet cola, low exercise, and inert brain are catching up to him. Aging is a bitch: if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it, and you just might lose it even if you use it.

    • EC Penny

      And if you abuse it you’re going to lose it and if you lose it you’re going to abuse it and if you abuse it you ain’t going to be able to choose it

  • Kitty Smith

    Wanna know what gets me?

    This is what they wanted. This. Is what. They wanted.

    They wanted a moron. A moron they could manipulate. But he is a moron. And morons don’t take direction well.

    This is what they wanted. Be careful what you fuckin’ wish for, dickheads.

  • Katamount

    Attention media: The story here is why all of these people who are making comments about how they work for the dumbest person on the planet continue to make excuses for him.

    Because they’re sycophants trying to milk him for money. That’s a huge fucking story! Run with it!

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