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Say what you will about Steve Bannon, but the man sure does give good copy!

They’re going to crack Don Junior like an egg on national TV.

From your liver-spotted lips to God’s ears, Steve! Also, too, what is it with this White House inviting the FAKE NEWS media in to inspect the dumpster fire up close? Did they think reporter Michael Wolff wouldn’t print all the crazy shit he heard when they let him have the run of the White House and sat down for endless bitch’n’backstab sessions? The Guardian and now NBC have gotten their hands on hard copies of Wolff’s book Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House (buy through the link and your Wonkette gets a cut) out next week. And it is full of crazy, incriminating shit!

God only knows who Trump will attack to take the focus off this steaming pile. (It is North Korea.) So let’s enjoy the juicy gossip before the bombs start going off! Take it away, Steve-O! Tell us what you really think of DJ, Kush and Pauly’s Trump Tower meeting with those Russians offering sexxxxxy Hillary dirt.

The three senior guys in the campaign thought it was a good idea to meet with a foreign government inside Trump Tower in the conference room on the 25th floor – with no lawyers. They didn’t have any lawyers.

Even if you thought that this was not treasonous, or unpatriotic, or bad shit, and I happen to think it’s all of that, you should have called the FBI immediately.

Shut the front door! We actually agree with the Chief Dominatrix at Dead Breitbart’s Brooks Brothers Dungeon. Well, kind of. Bannon is totally down with colluding with Russia to throw the election, but you have to fob that treason shit off on your lawyers! DUH!

Bannon went on, Wolff writes, to say that if any such meeting had to take place, it should have been set up “in a Holiday Inn in Manchester, New Hampshire, with your lawyers who meet with these people”. Any information, he said, could then be “dump[ed] … down to Breitbart or something like that, or maybe some other more legitimate publication”.

Bannon added: “You never see it, you never know it, because you don’t need to … But that’s the brain trust that they had.”

Hello! Get the help to wash your stolen data laundry! Does he have to tell you dipshits everything? And get that Glenn Greenwald guy to publish it — he’s got a raging hard-on for Hillary anyway. Or, maybe, WikiLeaks! (Which is what they did.) You start the ball rolling in a “legitimate publication,” then you have Breitbart run a million hit pieces. Buncha fucking one-shirt amateurs!

And Jesus, don’t tell the Old Man about it! At least these morons know that much, right Steve?

Of course they didn’t.

So will this investigation be wrapping up in the next few weeks like Trump’s lawyers have been saying for months now? Will Trump be exonerated?

“You realise where this is going,” [Bannon] is quoted as saying. “This is all about money laundering. Mueller chose [senior prosecutor Andrew] Weissmann first and he is a money-laundering guy. Their path to fucking Trump goes right through Paul Manafort, Don Jr and Jared Kushner … It’s as plain as a hair on your face.” […]

“It goes through Deutsche Bank and all the Kushner shit. The Kushner shit is greasy. They’re going to go right through that. They’re going to roll those two guys up and say play me or trade me.”

Huh. So all those Breitbart hit pieces on Mueller are just bullshit propaganda since Trump’s going down for money laundering? What a coincidence! That lines up exactly with what those Fusion GPS guys said this morning in the Times. Guess the mothership will just have to concentrate on the greasy Kushner angle instead.

That train is never late! The Breitbart commenters HAZ A CONFUZ about this apparent betrayal of Chairman MAGA by Steve Bannon, but they perk right up if there’s Jew-hatin’ to be done.

The rancour between Bannon and “Javanka” – Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump – is a recurring theme of the book. Kushner and Ivanka are Jewish. Henry Kissinger, the former secretary of state, is quoted as saying: “It is a war between the Jews and the non-Jews.”

Well, that’s just great. Trump’s going down and THE GREASY JOOZ are to blame.

Anything else Steve? Were you perhaps in the loop on all the dirty Russia treason funtimes? After all, you were campaign manager while Cambridge Analytica — on whose board you sat — was working its disinformatzya magic. You were Trump’s most trusted advisor. He never mentioned the Russia stuff?

[Bannon] insists that he knows no Russians, will not be a witness, will not hire a lawyer and will not appear on national television answering questions.

And there you have it: Steve Bannon loves to destroy everything, hates Jared Kushner, and is smarter than all you fucking idiots. What’s that in his mouth there? Why, we do believe it’s his cock.

y’all, this week is CRAZY! Please money us!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

[The Guardian]

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  • Carpe Vagenda

    Um. Editorial staff? If I bought you a copy of this book, could you pull out the good parts for us? I can’t justify putting money in Michael Wolff’s pocket just for me.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “The Fire and the Furries?”

    That’s one yiff pile I’d hate to walk up on.

  • Jennaratrix
    • Oblios_Cap

      Like Sherman through Georgia.

      • Jennaratrix

        Sadly, he’d probably relish that comparison.

      • kilgoretrout

        Like taco bell through a colon.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Like KFC through clogged arteries.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Like Cartman through Southpark on a Chocolate Schnapp’s fueled reenactment?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      See, that’s an interesting question. It’s possible he trapped himself, since most of these interviews seem to be from about when he was fired and went on his fuck trump local endorsement tour.

  • JaveyDay

    Bannon reminds me of Robert the Bruce’s scheming, vile, rotting father from Braveheart.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/347fefca26ad920ad266f2547eb05a7c7392b43696e30705f45d7674a5e2e609.jpg

    • Jennaratrix

      Scheming, vile, rotting father from Braveheart libelz!

    • biologydave

      Needz moar shirtz

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OK, I would pay really good money to watch a TV show in which the Mooch and Bannon are forced to share a 400 sq ft apartment for 6 months.

    • Nockular cavity

      Make sure the kitchen is stocked with many knives.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        The “kitchenette”, you mean. Yes, of course, all kinds of sharp instruments.

      • chazmanr

        And an abundant supply of alcohol.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And just this week the Mooch was saying that he has no damage with Bannon and they agree about pretty much everything.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Apparently Steve didn’t rat him out in the book.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Still. It’s interesting to see which way the rats run. You’d think that he’d be hiding behind Trump, not setting himself up as collateral damage.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Well, then there’s no way it’s not true!

    • ArgieBargie

      The Mooch is already booked for the “Jersey Shore” reunion this year.

      • Bright Bart

        Youse guys better be watchin’ ya hear Joey?

    • Holiday Bozi

      Special season of Big Brother – Washington, DC

    • chazmanr

      That is probably the only “reality TV” I would watch.

    • Jgb979

      There would be at least 2 serial killer basements. The fun would be who would actually get the better of the other while they were sleeping.

      Actually this sounds like the greatest show of all time.

  • Michael Smith

    Breitbart commenters are truly the scum of the Earth.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s the truth.

    • OddMan

      Those are the people I mute on Twitter, I can’t read the comments at Breitbart.

    • MynameisBlarney

      YOUTUBE COMMENTERS LIBULZ?

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      Excuse me, if you’re talking about algae, that actually serves a purpose, so your comparison is really rather rude. :(

    • WeaselPoo

      I’m tempted to go over to Breitbart and say: Guys! GUYS!! You all have great points, but can we at least still agree that Steve Bannon’s self cock sucking skills are still admirable and important?

  • coozledad

    What are the chances this is Trump with his back against the wall, torching his son in law, Paul Manafort, and by tomorrow, Mike Pence?

    He’s bringing the whole Republican edifice down with him. But if you pay attention, you can hear the Romney whisperers already starting up with their patented crank-licking.

    • chazmanr

      He still has a car elevator problem.

  • Ah, the rabid pack of vile weasels are turning on one another. Who could have seen this coming?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Time to time that popcorn, cuz THIS is the show I’ve been waiting for.

    • mardam422

      I have popcorn.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      everyone :)

  • Oblios_Cap
    • kilgoretrout

      You don’t mess with Big Polka.

      • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

        ♫ Roll out the barrel
        We’ve got a body to hide… ♫

      • SDGeoff3

        But, who stole the kishka?

      • JaveyDay

        * You dot mess with Big Polka.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That is Cohen Brothers-esque.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      See, the Russians really are our Natural Allies #MAGA

    • coozledad

      That’s why Pete Townshend cut out the middleman and used a Les Paul. It’s hard to maul someone with an accordion.

    • Covfefe

      This is why I never sing around the house.

    • therblig

      lady of spain, i deplore you

    • Holiday Bozi

      Accordion, woodchipper, they both sound kinda the same.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Michael Smith

    Trump barely knew Steve Bannon, Bannon barely played any role in Trump’s campaign or administration, he has no idea what he is talking about.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Steve Bannon was basically a coffee barista in the White House.

  • Daniel

    “That train is never late!”

    Whatever else you can say about Breitbart there’s always this point in their favour.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    So far 2018 is making 2017 look like 2016.

  • Oblios_Cap

    [Bannon] insists that he knows no Russians, will not be a witness, will not hire a lawyer and will not appear on national television answering questions.

    Let us know how that works out for you, Stevie.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Someone got wise to the fact that the water’s rising quick.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The only time Bannon enjoys cracking eggs is if they are Kosher… Or Dotard.

  • Crank Tango

    What ze shit is fobbing? Is that a sex thing?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m kinda scared to google it.

  • Jack Tenhet

    And the love affair is over. Donnie just broke up with Bannon publicly.

    https://twitter.com/jeneps?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

    • ManchuCandidate

      Blood is thicker than gin.

      • Spurning Beer

        Maybe not Bannon’s blood.

        • Red Richmond

          Bannon’s blood is gin. Really, really shitty gin.

          • Daniel

            Victory Gin.

    • Jack Tenhet
      • shivaskeeper

        10 months involved. In the inner-inner circle. Actually supplanted some of the IC on the President’s council. Had an entire position created for him in the White House.

        But he really had nothing to do with the campaign, the transition, or the Administration.

        • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

          Such haste to dissociate. Steve’s about to really sing, isn’t he.

          • MynameisBlarney

            5 rubles sayin he ends up in an “unfortunate accident” or sudden “very serious” mystery illness.

          • shivaskeeper

            I have no idea. He needs to hang onto the media empire so turning deep state stool pigeon will not be helpful for him there. His Nazi followers will not like that at all.

            He is throwing bombs to throw bombs. It’s what he does.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Coffee boy. A low level volunteer.

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s been the same excuse every time, When his spawn go down before him, he will claim he didn;t know them either,

      • MynameisBlarney

        No fuckin way did trump say, or write that.

        • coozledad

          Lindsey Graham and Mike Pence after a handful of no-doz and a couple of Red bulls.

        • Jack Tenhet

          No way he did. This looks like his lawyer’s doing.

      • coozledad

        Reads like Hitler’s last will and testament.

        “The German people turned out to be too weak.”

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        My money is on Stephen Miller as being the author of that piece of crap.

        • Jack Tenhet

          I don’t know, not enough denigration of immigrants to be Miller’s work.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        A staffer and a little staffer at that. Not like my big staffer that actually works.

  • OddMan
    • MynameisBlarney
    • msanthropesmr

      Projection isn’t just a river in Egypt.

    • kilgoretrout

      Did the Mooch write this?

    • Anna Rompage

      How long before Donad confirms that Steve spent most of his time, over in the corner, sucking his own dick?

    • Oblios_Cap

      There’s no way Trump wrote that. It’s way too readable.

      • msanthropesmr

        The parts about the most talented field sure read like him.

      • PubOption

        I think somebody translated some of Donnie’s ramblings into English.

    • Daniel

      Is this real?

      • OddMan

        It is from Peter Alexander’s tweet stream, he is one of the sources in this Wonkette post and is a reporter for NBC.
        Now if you mean did Lord Dampnut write it, no I think not, but he did have editorial control. The self praising bullshit, the bragging, the lying; it is him.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      YES!
      Intercine pissing contest!
      Love it love it.

      • kilgoretrout

        “Internecine pissing contest? I’ll have two of those.” – Donald J. Trump

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          and they’re the biggest and the best of whatever that is. – DJT

          (See Cilizza’s “opinion” piece today – he’s tells us all something that everyone with half a brain figured out in early 2016, and something Donald watcher knew WAY before that).

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I’m sorry, but Cilizza’s writing makes me break out in hives. Can you summarize?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Basically just a bunch fart sounds.

          • OddMan

            That made me actually laugh, thanks MB.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Glad to help!

      • Jmom

        Porcine pissing contest!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Obviously, he himself did not write that, but you can smell the fear a mile away. Delicious.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I have a few thoughts:
      1. The Dotard didn’t write this himself.
      2. Someone should have the Fire Department check on Breitbart.
      3. “The most talented field ever assembled in the Republican Party”. No. Just No.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        that’s a real “ROFL’r”

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He went to Jared.

    • Crank Tango

      There’s a moldy old pumpkin field near me that’s more talented than the 2016 GOP candidates.

      • SDGeoff3

        I thought you were about to describe Bannon’s face.

        • Crank Tango

          Thanks for reminding me, I damn near sprained my scrolling finger getting past that petri dish of delight.

          • SDGeoff3

            Better be careful there…

    • Nounverb911

      Ah yes, the first shot of World War 3.

    • I do declare, I think this is giving me the vapors!

    • msanthropesmr

      Oh dear. Is it possible that in this statement, Trump just split his remaining followers? Oh dear.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No way in hell did Twitler write this. There’s no sentence fragments, no reference to electoral college maps, no incoherent bragging about the size of his “button” (LOL, if that’s what you wanna call it, little guy, we’re with ya) – this was a staffer and I would bet huge bucks Dumpy hasn’t even seen it.

      • therblig

        my money’s on kellyanne

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Jared. This has that “boy who was bullied and has been practicing his tough-guy speech in the mirror” feel to it.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            AOT,K. Miller? Maybe Sarah is Spartacus.

            The self-aggrandizement does seem Trumpian, but with a little practice one can pull it off. What’s harder to fake is his stream-of-(semi)consciousness fragmented meandering.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Also no exclamation marks or “fake”s. They’re keeping him in a rubber room trying to placate him.

      • OddMan

        Agree that he did not write it, but it does have a bit of him with the bragging and lying.
        I would bet this is the first of many and they are still holding Trump back somehow. He will burst forth.

    • Blackest Noobs

      says Bannon lost his mind from the guy who lost all his marbles back in 2010.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Objection! Assumes marbles not in evidence.

        • Blackest Noobs

          Overruled, 2010 was about the time Trump started all that birther nonsense about Prez Barry.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Please proceed, governor Steve.

    • Blanche de Shambles
    • The Wanderer

      “Most talented field ever assembled?” I’ve thrown out spoiled meat that was more talented than that assemblage of hacks, lunatics, Dominionists and fools.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Stephen Miller seems to be able to write better copy than does Donnie.

    • ArgieBargie

      I can’t tell if this is an excerpt from an article from The Onion or not.

    • Bright Bart

      such tremendous huge talent. the mind reels.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      One of the underappreciated things about this guy, is how all his bullshit contains first person pronouns. Real presidents realize they are speaking for the office of the president and refer to themselves as “the president” at least in print.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      It doesn’t sound like the deranged Trump we know and hate. I’m guessing this was Greasy Kushner’s work.

    • Last Hussar

      In other words,
      “New phone, who dis?”

  • Spurning Beer

    Buncha fucking one-shirt amateurs!

    $5F, I love you.

    • mardam422

      I imagine Bannon needs to buy two different sized shirts. Does he have a closet for outershirts and one for innershirts? Does he wear an undershirt under the innershirt? Or an undershirt under the outershirt?

      • Red Richmond

        It’s shirtception, we need to go shirter. With these guys it’s also shartception.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow – that was such an evan headline.
    Come on 5DF – we love you, but that was evan’s suggestion, wasn’t it? Maybe ‘Trixs.

    ; p

  • CripesAmighty

    Oho, Bannon saw the cliff, threw a brick on the throttle and jumped off the bus.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      But got one of his many shirttails caught in the door.

  • RickyG

    So it really was Col. Mustard in the Library, with his own candlestick!

    • therblig

      Colonel Mouseturd?

  • Iron Monkey

    The Kushner shit is greasy.

    Among the images I don’t need to process…

    • natoslug

      I wouldn’t put it past Bannon to be an expert in shit.

      • Daniel

        Copropologist? Or is that someone who excuses Trump?

    • Asterix

      What does greasy mean here?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Jewish.

        • Asterix

          Thanks – I wondered but it wasn’t connecting.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    as much as i love this – bannon gonna deny deny deny.

    • Of course he is. I just wanna see him deny it on TV! (Nobody’s gonna ask him a thing under oath until after he’s nailed to the wall any way.)

  • WiscoJoe

    Can someone wonksplain Drudge’s related tweet? Is he saying Bannon has bodyguards because Bannon is schizophrenic and paranoid, or is he saying Bannon, who just happens to be schizophrenic, has body guards because these allegations are legit and he knows Trump or the Russian Mob (same thing) is totally going to drone him to death with some ricin tea?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2688def3cc53941a805d6e054b108fea751fb311060d86abbac50889f40f26b0.png

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      even drudge doesn’t know – he’s just lopping shitballs.

    • Yes.

    • Crank Tango

      Yes.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Do we care? I’m just over here getting high on the schadenfreude.

  • SweetDeeKat

    But Bannon WILL be sitting in a courtroom eventually, in a very uncomfortable seat. Hee hee hee.

  • armed_bears
    • natoslug

      Was that on the B-side of “When Doves Cry”?

      • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

        It’s the alternate title of “Let’s Go Crazy”.

      • Blackest Noobs

        Was that on the B-side of “When Doves Donalds Cry”?

        fixed it for you.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        You know that immediately went thru my head: “This is what it sounds like – when weasels fight..”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    WTF are ‘Jumos’? Is that short for Jewish Motherfuckers? (Not a bad band name, btw.)

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Nazi turbojet engines?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Sounds legit.

    • Crank Tango

      I thought it was Jewish Sumo wrestlers.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        All tanked up on salted chicken and knishes!

    • DrBigHead

      Only entry in the Urban Dictionary says it is Dominican slang for being extremely drunk

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Bannon oughta know!

  • WeaselPoo

    So Bannon admits Breitbart is not a legit news org , that someone should have told the FBI about treasonous Don Jr—but not Bannon for some reason, and that if you are going to treason do it with lawyers to ake ot less treasony.
    And he says all this to a journalist whose expressed permit is to expose the administration, and does so with no lawyers of his own being present?
    And now Breitbart is losing some confused scumbag readers.
    And Bannon thinks he’s so fucking smart?

    • coozledad

      In the land of plumbism, the dumb bell is king.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        And paint chips are a staple.

  • Nounverb911
  • Michael Smith
  • Reximus

    “The chance that Don Jr. did not walk these Jumos up to his father’s
    office of the 26th floor is zero,” Bannon per “Fire & Fury.” (pg. 255)

    • OrdinaryJoe

      That is the sound of Steve Bannon knowing that Mueller is about to start squeezing Bannon’s nuts.

  • Michael Smith

    Trump is legit now claiming that Bannon lost his mind and never really had any influence.

  • Ron Spangler

    What’s a Jumo?

    • BadKitty904

      A Jewish wrestler in Japan?

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      Barney Frank?

    • Victoria Ricola

      A 2007 American coming of age comedy-drama film starring Ellen Page?

    • kilgoretrout

      A Jewish homosexual?

    • coozledad

      An island of hair, surrounded by a few whisps around the side that are drawn up and sprayed with contact cement:
      https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/948623868343783425

      • PubOption

        St. Ronnie had a better dye job.

  • BearGHAZI

    THANK YOU JOOZ!!!!

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistor Radio

    You guys, what’s a Jumo? Is it like a Jabroni? Or is a ridiculously lazy way to slur a Jewish person?

    • Anna Rompage

      Jumo in Spanish means drunkard, shitfaced, blind drunk… Oh the irony….

    • OrdinaryJoe

      A “drunk”, I believe.

    • anon_the_great

      Jumo 004, was the world’s first production turbojet engine in operational use, and the first successful axial compressor turbojet engine. Some 8,000 units were manufactured by Junkers in Germany late in World War II, powering the Messerschmitt Me 262 fighter and the Arado Ar 234 reconnaissance/bomber.
      -Wikipedia

      A Nazi jet engine if you will.

      But he probably meant something else.

      • Resistor Radio

        Yeah I’d guess he woulda used it as a compliment if that’s what he meant

    • Grumpy Twat

      Or, more specifically, a Jewish gay man?

      • Resistor Radio

        Ahhhhh – that’s so specific, I love it

      • Jeffery Campbell

        That’s excellent whether it’s accurate or not!

        • Grumpy Twat

          I can assure you I have no idea what it really means! :-)

  • BadKitty904
    • Daniel

      So that’s why Bannon looks like that!

      • BadKitty904

        It’s his spirit animal.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      You’re gonna need a bigger boat!

      • BadKitty904

        You ain’t kiddin’, bub.

    • JaveyDay

      Salsa Shark!

    • The Wanderer

      You got fins to the left
      Fins to the right . . .

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Here I am, stuck in the middle with you…

    • Naytch

      C’mon in, the stupid Watergate is fine!!

  • Nounverb911
  • Victoria Ricola

    This part of the Trump story is so much more hilarious and fun than the scary North Korea dick measuring contest part of the story.

  • kilgoretrout

    Except for the present fear of nuclear holocaust this is the best day since Indictmas

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Thermonuclear annihilation always puts a dampener on the proceedings.

      • kilgoretrout

        I was going to write annihilation but couldn’t spell it.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    I’m so glad that white men, with their superior intellects, greater morality, and lack of overly-emotional responses are finally in charge.

    • rosenbomb

      It’s about time we gave them a chance.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    and the WH puts out an official statement:

    Steve who? That’s just some crazy guy…

    • Victoria Ricola

      That official statement is pure uncut insanity. And Trump even put it on the official White House paper instead of twitter. Good lordy it’s gonna get hot in prime time cable news tonight.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They are literally falling apart at the seams in real time…

  • Anna Rompage

    Only the best! I will choose only the best people to run this country….

  • Asterix

    It didn’t take long for Trump to disavow Bannon.

    “Bannon… oh that guy! Yeah, he’s a nobody. I gave him a job ‘cuz I’m a great guy, but he’s crazy and I had to fire the poor guy.”

    • CripesAmighty

      Asinine talking heads mumbling inanities about Bannon running. Ok, let’s go with that. Campaign slogan: “Hold My Beer”.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I dislike Bannon about as much as any other libtard. That having been said, I applaud his determination to fuck-up everything RW. Just because he wants to see it all get razed to the ground.

    I worry the rest of us will get razed, too, though.

    • anon_the_great

      Uh, so did a certain Austrian Corporeal

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Good thing Adolf is no longer corporeal.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          For.The.WIN!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Damn. January 3. The day the leopards began to eat each other’s faces.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I can’t wait for lying Sarah’s presser…

    • DrBigHead

      If she survives, it will be her massterpiece

    • Sarah hasn’t spoken to the president about this issue and will have to circle back to you.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        “As I’ve said before, I direct you to the Department of Justice on that.”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Goddamn, this administration employs a lot of people who have no authority, influence, or official duties.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      This is like running to the bridge and finding out the night-shift engineering officer is in command because everyone else is drunk, crazy, or has deserted.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        You’ve recently been on destroyer duty?

    • cmd resistor

      But they always have someone to pick up coffee whenever they need it.

  • Indiepalin

    Which reminds us of why Mickey Mouse divorced his wife.

    • kilgoretrout

      She was always Sleepy. No, that’s not it.

      • Resistor Radio

        She wouldn’t Pan his Peter? No, that’s not it.

        • kilgoretrout

          She DID pan his peter.

        • SweetDeeKat

          She was feeling Dopey? no…

          • kilgoretrout

            She had a thing for dwarfs.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it’s the little things that count

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          I thought she had a thing for Goofy. I mean, he had those big feet…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            mental instability- she was fucking goofy

          • Resistor Radio

            There it is

          • kilgoretrout

            No that’s not it.

          • Resistor Radio

            Given the subject matter of the OP, I’m gonna guess because she was Jewish?

    • MynameisBlarney

      She was fuckin’ Goofy?

    • The Wanderer

      Mickey had no genitals.

      • Resistor Radio

        You seem awfully cocksure of your statement.

        • The Wanderer

          I mean, just look at him. I guess Minnie got tired of his tongue and the occasional muzzlefuck.

          • Resistor Radio

            He must not have known how to work his tongue and/or muzzle very well.

        • kilgoretrout

          Mickey was cockunsure.

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh, like Trump

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Then how did he mousterbate?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    STEVE BANNON IS PART OF DEEP STATE!!1!1!

    • anon_the_great

      And the Circle is complete

      That didn’t take very long

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    But didn’t St Roy, your Anointed One, say that Russia was holier than the U S now that homosexican American marriage was legal?

  • ArgieBargie

    I truly wish the media would stop treating Bannon like he’s some sort of political mastermind. Let’s not forget that not long ago, he deservedly was a fucking nobody until he won the Wingnut lottery with Trump’s campaign.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Bannon is a Political Masturbator, not a political mastermind.

      Somebody has to point this out from time-to-time.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        one of your better non-comments today :)

    • cmd resistor

      Really.

  • Mavenmaven

    Bannon added, “what am I, chopped liver?”

    • kilgoretrout

      In Putin’s Russia liver chops you.

      • Jack Tenhet

        In Bannon’s liver, Russia drinks YOU!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “Does chopped liver take the trouble to put on three shirts? Now I ask you.”

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Chopped liver has a more life-like skin tone.

  • CripesAmighty
  • TimResistit

    CRACK HIM LIKE AN EGG! The new “Lock him up!”

    • anon_the_great

      Is that a variation of ‘break you like a boy.’?

      • Resistor Radio

        Yes

  • Jack Tenhet

    “Whose Bannon? Never heard of her. Wasn’t she the coffee boy? A low level volunteer.”

  • OrdinaryJoe

    My news alert feed on my cell phone is exploding at this moment. This is the kind of day when it would have been fun to be a reporter on TV news.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Breaking from NYT (no link because I’m at my limit of free articles at the moment):

    President Trump said Stephen Bannon had “lost his mind” after he was quoted accusing Donald Trump Jr. of treason

    • Marion in Savannah

      And yet again one more time in addition to the last time… Jeez, Marion, try scrolling down a few comments.

      RFC, I owe you a beverage!

      • coozledad

        You know how it is when you’re in a big car crash. Time itself is dislocated. The usual rules are hereby suspended.

    • mohave rocky

      You can get another 10 articles by shutting down, restart and go incognito.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        I do that regularly, but thanks for the tip. I’m only getting five per try now for some reason, however.

  • Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
    All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
    Couldn’t put Humpty together again

    Knowing now that Humpty is Don Jr. and Dumpty is Jared, this all make sense.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Trumpty Dumpty. I like it. There is about to be spattered yoke every which way.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Boy, it’s sure a good thing the government isn’t focused on healthcare, infrastructure, budgets, DACA, international relations, or any of that other boring shit, isn’t it? We really dodged a bullet keeping that Hillary “Emails” Clinton out of office; otherwise we’d be so bored by now we’d probably all be doing routine adulting instead of IV-ing vodka and stockpiling food for the after-nukes years.

  • TJ Barke

    Bannon is like the Stupid-Joker.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • CATMAN

    This is one catfight I really want to watch

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Steve Bannon failed to report this treason as it happened.

    Therefore he is an accomplice.

    Take him away, boys.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the guy sat on the board of Cambridge Analytica, he’s up to his pus filled neck in this mess

  • Marion in Savannah

    [snerk] Trump is now howling that Bannon has lost his mind:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/03/us/politics/trump-bannon.html

    • The Wanderer

      Let him howl. This is gonna be good.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m getting the distinct impression that Bannon is engaging in a bit of score-settling with the second Trump generation, especially Jared.

    • kilgoretrout

      A pox on all their faces.

      • Oblios_Cap

        too late!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Prezactly. This is all about crap that happened on the playground.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Ya think!?

  • TootsStansbury

    I’ve been really busy at work. I check in and…bwahahahahaha! I hope we survive this because it is hilarious.

    • OutOfOrbit

      ’tis a ting of beauty, taint’it?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, here’s the link to the NYT update on this:

    Trump Says Bannon Has ‘Lost His Mind’ After Bannon Insults Donald Trump Jr.

    President Trump essentially excommunicated his onetime chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon on Wednesday, dismissing him as an aide who had “very little to do with our historic victory” and has now “lost his mind.”

    In a written statement, Mr. Trump fired back at Mr. Bannon, who had made caustic comments about the president and his family to the author of a new tell-all book about the Trump White House. While Mr. Bannon had been pushed out of the White House last summer, he had remained in touch with Mr. Trump, but the two now appear to have reached a breaking point.

    “Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency,” Mr. Trump said in the statement. “When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind.”

    Me-ow!

    • Roadstergal

      “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”

      • coozledad

        I’m suffering from tunnelvision. Sorry.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well Trump should know all about losing one’s mind!

      • coozledad

        It’s a terrible thing. Bad.

    • TootsStansbury

      One dotterring old fool saying another pretending asshat has “lost his mind I can’t stop laughing.

    • coozledad

      Tell me this is going to be like some of those old country and western songs where they cut a bunch of singles replying to each other.

      • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

        “We don’t smoke dope in Muskogee… But we do vote one into the White House.”

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • WiscoJoe

      “Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency. ”

      LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. What a cuck.

    • Beautiful Soup

      How did he release this statement? I keep seeing reports on it, but how/where did he actually release it? Is it a statement sent to the press only? Weird that he didn’t tweet it.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        to the press pool

        • Beautiful Soup

          OK thanks.

        • WiscoJoe

          From the White House or from his campaign? Because taking pot shots at a campaign staffer and top strategist and then accusing him of wanting to “burn it all down” is pretty batshit if it’s coming from the White House. Like more batshit than usual. Welcome to 2018!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            According to Natasha Bertrand, Sarah Sanders released it.

          • Douglas White

            If this is on White House stationery, I need to know where I Can BUY A COPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Carpe Vagenda
          • WiscoJoe

            Aye aye aye. This is the sort of stuff you leak off-the-record. Or you release under the name of some low level staffer. I guess it’s just that vaunted “reality show accessibility” we’ve all come to known so well.

          • ((( Augustus )))

            I mean, the old establishment and way of doing things had numerous, very very serious problems

            but their certainty that their way will work better, with no planning, no expertise, and no personnel

            what the fuck were they thinking?

            “GRIFT NOW, RUN GOVERNMENT LATER [never]”

      • Douglas White

        Yes, it’s real. I also didn’t believe it but every major news agency now has it! Time to open some vintage Dom….

        • Beautiful Soup

          I was afraid he was setting a trap to break some ties in his FAKE NEWS AWARDS!

          • Douglas White

            Hadn’t thought of that….. I wonder if he’ll try and pass it all off as some sort of ‘Gotcha’ where he will claim:
            “I wrote this JUST TO FOOL YOU ALL!”… and it worked!! I love Steve, and he loves me and we’ll be BFFs forever…. you guys are SOOOOOO Gullible. Trump out!”

          • Beautiful Soup

            This is the state of the world today. We’re seriously wondering if an official presidential statement is a head fake.

        • Crank Tango
  • Douglas White

    Oh….. my….. God….. things are literally blowing up right now. If you had a camera inside the news rooms at CNN, NBC, ABC and CBS, you’d see people running around like lunatics trying to get Trump v. Bannon on air as soon as possible.

    Two REALLY important things to keep in mind:
    1) Trump has no leeway to be able to afford ‘jettisoning’ Bannon and his followers from Camp Trump. If he loses the young alt-right, his approval numbers will slip to 30% or perhaps even below, and that would be the death-knell of his Presidency.
    2) The name-calling and finger pointing between the various right-wing ‘news’ factions is going to escalate FAST. You’ll have Breitbart fighting Fox while they are both fighting the Daily Caller and the Washington Examiner. Bannon made a very telling Freudian slip when he said “… down to Breitbart or something like that, or maybe some other more legitimate publication”. When your own editor begins to admit that you aren’t a ‘legitimate publication’, your days of having significant influence are probably numbered….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Couldn’t happen to a nicer group of Nazi fucks.

    • Raan

      Let’s face it, without the alt-right Nazis, his support is basically just people in his administration and immediate family.

  • I’m feeling giddy and it’s not the fermented Tobago pepper sauce I’m drinking on my burrito.

  • therblig

    looks like stevie broke the first rule of Treason Club

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    the real house husbands of Capitol Hill.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    I expect the rate of GOP senators and congresswhores to pick up a bit before Friday. I have absolutely no problem with this, especially if Dollar Tree Eddie Munster and Turtle McTurtleface are included in the lemming parade off the cliff.

  • Michael Smith

    Trump really should have probably sat on this for a little bit before responding.

    • BadKitty904

      Naaaaaaaaah!

    • ((( Augustus )))

      his inability to do that, or to really operate in accordance with any real strategy at all, is why I think we might just get through the other side of this mostly alive

      he just can’t help shooting his own dick off every chance he gets

    • TimResistit

      He’s twittering from the toilet how long you want him to sit there?

      • goCatgo

        1113 days.

      • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

        “No no no, you have to figure out whatever Elvis did… Then do it twice as bigly.”

  • WeaselPoo

    I think we are in Leopards Eating the Faces of Leopards Eating Your Face territory now.

    • Douglas White

      I bow before your imagery….

      • WeaselPoo

        Variation on someone elses original brilliance.

    • Bobathonic

      Well it’s about damned time!

    • TJ Barke

      Leopards eating faces-ception.

  • kilgoretrout

    When’s the cage match?

    • Raan

      “AN’ I SWEAR BAH GAWD HE’S BROKEN IN HALF!”

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I am really enjoying them all picnicking on each other’s entrails over a bed of lettuce. It’s so tasty.

    • goCatgo

      My doctor says no organ meats for me. Bad lipids have I. I have noticed the neighborhood cats will eat anything.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Yeah, sweetbreads are total hell on cholesterol. Of course, I like mine fried with a big slosh of gravy, so that really helps.

  • Marceline

    Watching Trump and Bannon claw at each other like drag queens at a wig sale would be funny if the lives of millions of people around the world weren’t on the line.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      B illions

    • goCatgo

      I need to get out more. I have never seen that. Although I do hear there is a pink bus going to Alice Springs.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I was going to comment about them swinging their purses at each other, but yeah…seriously, nuclear war is no joke.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Trump’s going to nuke Bannon? Seems a little over the top, even for him.

        • Personally, my real dread is not Trumpy nuking Pyonyang, or KJU nuking San Francisco, but Trumpy nuking San Francisco. If it got to all-out civil war, you know he would.

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      The drag queen whose routine I want to see ASAP: Miranda Reitz.

    • Gayer Than Thou
      • Duncan Tweedy

        Great now I have to find that clip thanks a lot I was hoping to go to bed but nope.

  • therblig

    now trumpy’s never going to get jared out of the way and have vanky all to himself.

  • Nounverb911
    • JustDon’tSayHolidays

      What’s he replying to?

      • MynameisBlarney

        If he ever bathes.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      When they put this guy in lockup, I hope their delousing procedure is up to the challenge.

  • OutOfOrbit

    kalm down evrybody, how man times before now we think, “this is teh last straw for that OPOS tRumpsterfire,”?

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it’s true

      but this REALLY looks bad for them, lol

      • OutOfOrbit

        it did the last umpteleventy times too

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      It’s still fun either way

    • TimResistit

      Who said it’s the last straw? This is juts one more bale of straw on the pussy’s back.

    • Paperless Tiger

      They’ve had more fatal errors than Windows 98.

    • But.. I can’t stop giggling!

      • OutOfOrbit

        i know! just too delicious

    • TJ Barke

      Naw, republicans will put party before country nine times out of ten.

  • Joe Beese

    Does this mean Bannon is in the running for Trump’s Fake News Of The Year Awards?

    • Holiday Bozi

      This year’s awards are for 2017. Must wait another year.

      • Joe Beese

        The book may be published in 2018 but the statement it quotes was made in 2017. Does that satisfy the eligibility requirement? Like a movie playing in Los Angeles for a week to qualify for the Oscars?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    This is all terrific fun until he pushes the big button.

    • Nounverb911

      And a Diet Pepsi shows up?

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        DIET COKE!!!! YOU’RE FIRED!!!

        • therblig

          no pepsi, no pepsi, you’re the pepsi!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Cheezeburger chips!

    • ((( Augustus )))

      he isn’t going to

      he’s a tremendous pussy

      • therblig

        plus, although he doesn’t give a shit about people, he won’t want to risk having his properties nuked.

        • PubOption

          “Little Kim’s threatening to nuke Hawaii. George, how many times is Trump Waikiki overinsured?”

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      I want to see his ‘grand coalition’ fall apart like a rotting squash.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        you’re literally watching it right now! exciting!

        Sunny with a chance of mushroom clouds!

  • Crystalclear12

    This is Wednesday.
    THIS is Wednesday!
    THIS IS ONLY WEDNESDAY!

    fuck

    • TimResistit

      AND…it’s ONLY the third of January

      • Crystalclear12

        shit
        shit
        shit

    • Me not sure

      I beg your pardon, but it’s bomb cyclone Wednesday. It’s a sign from God!

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Isn’t his Indian name, “mottled paleface who performs bad standup comedy at campaign events of (alleged) child molester?”

  • Michael Smith

    Lord of the Flies

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      dumb fuckers though it was a how-to manual instead of a cautionary tale

      • ((( Augustus )))

        well naturally they never actually finished the book

    • Me not sure

      The flies demand a recount.

    • Victoria Ricola

      Lord of the (McDonalds) Fries.

  • Me not sure

    Hey, Wonkette, not being a professional journalist myself, I have a question. Is it possible to editorially distance ones self from being charged in an investigation with a net the size of two football fields?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Mooch is looking more professional with each passing day hour.

    • Red Richmond

      Mooch is looking more professional with each passing day hour scaramucci.

      FIFY.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “More professional” is a stretch for me. He is looking more “not as bat-guano unprofessional as the rest of the stoogeocracy” which, among this crowd, is an outstanding accomplishment in the field of lesser-douchery.

  • Crystalclear12

    Ahhhh
    New chapter in Bannon book.
    The joys of cannibalism.

    • Jay Hansen

      The Bannonality of Evil?

  • Nounverb911

    Slightly out of context, but funny nonetheless…

    https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/948625872914931712

    • The Wanderer

      Holy fuck, is that legit? Fredo not get the memo that the Family’s closed ranks against Bannon?

      • ((( Augustus )))

        it’s sarcasm

        • Red Richmond

          It’s the stupidest one though, can we be sure that he gets sarcasm?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I am so glad we have a President who is above tawdry rivalries and petty retributions.

    • WeaselPoo

      That eyeroll should be visible from space.

    • Crank Tango

      And golfing like a common Nobama.

  • Earl Of Sammich
  • kilgoretrout

    What’s that feeling you get when two detestable people get into a fight and you hope they both lose?

    • GoutMachine

      Schadenfuckem?

      • kilgoretrout

        Nailed it!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If this is not the OED’s Word of the Year 2018, there is no God. Or, at least, there is no Oxford.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      It’s the same way I feel whenever:

    • BadKitty904

      Vindication?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Me watching Louisville and Duke basketball play each other.

      • ObscurePopCultureReference

        This ^^^
        This exact feeling, right here!

      • ObscurePopCultureReference

        This is my exact feeling, also too!

    • Crank Tango

      Good? No, great.

    • Moldy Weißwurst

      Divide et impera?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Go husband, go bear.

    • Jay Hansen

      Sounds like Campaign 2016.

    • renegade500

      I call that watching the Cowboys and the Team from Washington play.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    When I was on the potty this morning I was, naturally, thinking about our current regime, and the phrase “bunker mentality” kept popping up in my head. The thing about Hitler was that, while he was bugfucking nuts all along, he didn’t get nihilistic about his own chances and future until he was, literally, in the bunker. Dumpy was born in the bunker. He’s not only bugfucking nuts, he’s interested in what would happen if he actually started a nuclear war. Let’s not forget amidst all the jollity and schadenfreude of watching the Leopards eat each others’ faces that during the campaign he asked why we had so many nukes if we weren’t ever going to use them. He could push the button just because he’s had enough.
    Sorry to shit in your Post Toasties.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I was in the basement thinking about the government.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        Fucking men in trenchcoat 😰😰😰

    • TimResistit

      Kim knows himself , his dynasty, his country will be obliterated by one nuke. President Sundowner thinks we can survive one. That’s what scares me, not NK, but America.

    • Lord Jim

      I think a certain amount of paranoia naturally comes with narcissism, then factor in age-induced dementia or decompensation and we’re off to the races.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      You are probably right (hope not), but I personally need to focus on shadenfreude and jollity, in order to keep my mind off that damn button. In order not to dissolve into a puddle of hysteria, anger, and grief. In order to keep on adulting. Good God, it’s hard today.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        It is. My son and grandson live about 3 1/2 hours from here and some days, worrying that the world could actually end, It’s hard to keep adulting and not hop in the car and just show up on their porch with a suitcase.

  • Crystalclear12

    I think it’s time Trump’s lawyers have the ” your coconspirators are turning on you” talk.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Mr. President, it’s time that you learned how babies are made.”

      “How babies get laid? Roy Moore told me all about that.”

    • miss_grundy

      Not if Dotard hasn’t paid the latest bill.

  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904

    Et tu, Bluto?

    • kilgoretrout

      Et tu Blotto

  • Bright Bart

    You know who else hated Jews?

    No seriously though, Brietbart isn’t a legitimate publication?
    Next you’ll be telling me Nazis aren’t fine people.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      There were bad people in Auschwitz. On both sides. On. Both. Sides. Sides. Side. Side of fries. Two sides of fries. Two scoops. Two. Two Big Macs. Meat. Raw meat. Raw. Hmm. Rawket. Rocket man. Littel’ Rocket Man. Seeing Red. Red button. Bigliest red button. Red Buttons. Jew. God bless Mnrpfmpth.

  • Kooolest G

    it’s been reported that trump still calls bannon on the phone all the time for advice, what do you suppose is happening right now? trump is calling bannon and bannon is letting it go straight to voice mail? bannon picks up and treats trump like a bitch (since trump is powerless over bannon)? bannon is trying to call trump and tell him the jews in the media set him up just like they did to the mooch, but kelly won’t let the phone call go through? oh to be a fly on the wall in the west wing today

  • Covfefe

    I say, the FBI’s mole in the Trump campaign was the one who didn’t leak to anyone else. That would exclude Bannon.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I don’t think it counts so long as he leaked into his own mouth, as the Mooch claims.

  • William

    I still think a big player in all of this will be (pun intended), Chris Christie. Lets not forget that Christie put Kushners slimy criminal father in jail. Ask yourself why an accomplished federal prosecutor has no place in the Trump administration, but a moron with a degree in animal science heads up the agency in charge of all of the nuclear material this control controls. . http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/byron-york-the-sordid-case-behind-jared-kushners-grudge-against-chris-christie/article/2620427

    • Kooolest G

      and never forget that kushner’s dad went to jail for hiring a hooker to fuck his own sister’s husband so he could film it and use it for blackmail. that’s the kind of loyalty to family that I hope was passed down to the next generation

      • Mehmeisterjr

        So Charles Kushner created the whole family- incest-voyeur-porn genre that is so popular with the kids these days?

        He was truly a pioneer!

  • Nounverb911
    • Beautiful Soup

      See also Crooked, Lyin’, Liddle’, etc.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Is the tiger ride over yet?

    • goCatgo

      Not until we get pancake syrup.

  • Nounverb911
    • Daniel
      • Raan

        And I’m spent.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Cuckoo?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No cuck! No cuck! You’re the cuck!

      • GlazedHaim

        It took me two minutes of reading to find a “build the wall!” I have no idea where the trolling starts and the regular idiocy ends and I love it.

      • goCatgo

        Cofefe ? Collusion ? Criminal ? Cahones ? Caymans ? Cash ?

        • Red Bird

          Covfefe. You forgot the ‘v’.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        What a bunch of camphors!

    • Jay Hansen

      Au contraire. If ya ain’t got nothin’ you got nothin’ to lose.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        Now, if only he were invisible 😈😈😈

    • Paul Dietzel

      Kinda like Lola: “She lost her youth and she lost her Tony, Now she’s lost her mind” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz9Pi7HfPkk – six minutes of your life you’ll never get back but entirely worth it.

  • johnnyknj

    You gotta say this for Bannon, vile though he is – he can sometimes stick the landing when describing the cretins he dealt with. First Paul Ryan “was created in a Petrie dish at the Heritage Foundation”, and now this.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    In which the gentlemen at The Atlantic prove once again that the nuances escape them:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d4587205dc1473e605a2a596ce59769aa63b7cc521ce95b186b7e1fe10401df.png

    Who is who’s Frankenstein monster here?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It would be a good metaphor if they didn’t start with the premise that Dump is aware of the story. It doesn’t have his name in it so you know he’s not interested.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’d be a good metaphor if Trump wasn’t an empty suit being shopped by every puppet master in town.

      • insolenttomato

        “Frankenstein? Sounds like a Joo. Reminds me too much o’ Jared. I only like ’em when they’re countin’ my money.”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s been a long time since I saw the movie and I never have read the book, so refresh my memory. Was it Dr. Frankenstein or his monster who sucked his own dick?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, the monster would have an enormous Schwanzstücker

        • Raan

          Well, until he trades some of it for brains.

        • Beowoof14

          At least according to Young Frankenstein, he had giant one and Madeline Kahn enjoyed it.

        • Jimh

          Well, that goes without saying…

        • Vacuous Virgina

          Sweet mystery of life at last I found you 💞💞💞

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The monster’s wasn’t attached for a while, which would have made it easier.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          A good point, although Bannon seems to have achieved it, despite what would seem to be a discouraging gut-to-peenie-length ratio.

          At least, that is the testimony of the unimpeachable Mooch, who apparently witnessed this as the opening act at a Cirque du Donkey-Fucking presentation.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Missing it. It’s the GOP that has been building this monster for half a century, and now it’s out of control and destroying the lab, the library, the parlor, and the rest of the castle.

    • Daniel

      [pedant] Whose.

      • TJ Barke

        Can it, limey.

        • Last Hussar

          Capital L on Limey, it’s a proper noun.

          • Daniel

            I’ll say.

      • Lord Jim
        • Daniel

          This is what you get when you mess with us.

      • goCatgo

        Whoze on first. Whatz on second. Idunno izon third. Peedant waz scratched cause of hangover.

        • Vacuous Virgina

          Why? Because!

      • mailman27

        Who’s the monster? The monster is the guy whose head is large.

    • Thiazin Red

      Did they read the book or just see the Universal movie? The monster was good until Victor was a dick to him. No one is the monster here.

      • Lord Jim

        It’s monsters all the way down.

      • insolenttomato

        Also too, if you want to get reeeaaalllllly technical, in Shelley’s book he’s the “creature,” not a “monster.” He’s a monster in the movies. IMHO this nuance is less relevant in the comments section of a snarky news site – albeit one populated by smart and funny people – but moreso in, say, a periodical like the Atlantic.

  • Notreelyhelping

    I suppose it’s just a coincidence that Trump’s physical at Walter Reed (I think) is scheduled for January 12. And that the Republicans, having passed their tax cuts, no longer need Donald the Unready.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That assumes he makes it to January 12, seeing as this might just trigger that rage stroke I’ve been predicting since November.

      • Notreelyhelping

        How much does a rage stroke resemble polonium poisoning?

        • goCatgo

          That knowledge has yet to be ascertained. Perhaps we could design an experiment.

        • Vacuous Virgina

          How much rage does a rage stroke stroke if a rage stroke could stroke rage? 😱😱😱

          • Notreelyhelping

            Quite a bit, given the Oval Office looks like they’ve been filming Scanners II in there.

      • Lurkylu

        Ragestroke Ragestroke! Ragestroke! come on, you know those blood vessels cannot handle all that pressure……have some more salt and caffeine Mr. Preznut..

        • miss_grundy

          More Big Macs!

        • Nodrama4mama

          Maybe someone should feed him a salad with dark, leafy greens and no croutons or creamy dressing or bacon bits. The nutrition hitting his system might be enough to send it into total shock- with votes!

          • Lurkylu

            was it polonium votes or a kale smoothie? WHO CAN SAY

  • OH MY GOD!

    Can this thing be over already? Every day is more insane than the last. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.

    • Paperless Tiger

      House of Last Straws, still playing.

    • miss_grundy

      Noooooo. I want hearings on television! I want someone “reclaiming their time” when the Two-Shirted Asshole tries to b.s. his way and not answer the question posed to him. I want to see these criminals squirming in their seats. I want to see Dotard escorted from the White House kicking and screaming while a mob is chanting “Lock him up!” and people are drinking from a bottle of Chardonnay that is wrapped in a brown paper bag. I want my circus!

      • MamaBrown

        I am right there with you. I am living to see that simpering modern day Marie Antoinette, Ivanka, and her dimpled, cretinous manbot husband in prison orange. I want tears–full on snotty bawling like Paris Hilton when she was sent up the river. I want to see Sarah Huckabee scream “its not fair!” before being engulfed by a ravening mob. I want to see Steve Mnuchin and his plastic wife dragged from their beds and thrown into squad cars. I want Jeff Sessions pissing himself in terror as he’s escorted from his DC residence by some large, burly black FBI agents. I want it all.

        • Lord Jim

          I’d give real money to see all that.

          • insolenttomato

            I’ll sneak in the popcorn and bourbon.

        • Saint Stephen

          Me too!

      • Ms.Moon

        Wear a fur coat while drinking wine like Javanka’s neighbor it will be all class mob.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    This warms my heart is an icky way.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    trying to cut back on booze and coffee at the same time in the Land of Trump is just too much for one blobfish to handle.

    • You can start smoking to ease the nerves.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      fuck it- Irish coffee

    • bluicebank

      Trying to quit booze AND cigs in these days ain’t no picnic, either. The shit is just laying there with a come-hither looks, saying, “You know you still love me. Come on, for old time’s sake. I’ll bring the handcuffs.”

    • MamaBrown

      Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

    • Jamoche
  • GlazedHaim

    In related news, all Goebbels ever did was hand out some pins.

    • CripesAmighty

      But he didn’t go, “I told Adolf those ovens were a no-no. But did he listen? Nooooooooo.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And he was great with children.

  • William
    • Mehmeisterjr

      Those aren’t pillows. Those are my jowls, specifically numbers five and six. And get out of the way when I’m trying to such my own cock.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Rachel’s show should be fun tonight.

    • miss_grundy

      Rachel’s show was fun last night because the GPS story broke while she was on the air.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        When isn’t it fun, after all? I just love her. She’s never salty or cruel yet she sure manages to get her point across.

        • TimResistit

          She can also be funny.

          • Saint Stephen

            Looking forward to Colbert tonight, too.

        • Lord Jim

          She’s so adorkable, you can’t help but love her.

        • Naytch

          She did a live broadcast of her radio show in Ithaca, NY just before she started at MSNBC.
          It was awesome!

    • TimResistit

      Yep, I can’t wait. She’s a brilliant ‘explainer’,

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Yep.

        I sometimes wish she wouldn’t be quite so thorough in building up every little point of her argument repeatedly so that nobody could possibly miss everything.

        But it’s a small point.

        When I contrast her with the classic Fox ‘n’ Friends clip when Doocy and a guest dork almost crushed the blonde du jour under a falling car and lost the lug nuts because neither of them knew how to safely change a tire, I bless my lucky stars for Rachel Maddow.

  • gallbladder

    I wonder if now would be a good time to tell all the Trumpanzees to, you know, “fuck their feelings.”

  • bluicebank

    The children are fighting again. Seriously, how is it that Trump is singularly unaware that he has short dick syndrome AND brain insecurities. He might as well drive around in a red Porsche wearing aviators, a thick gold chain, and a fucking polyester shirt open to the belly button.

    Anyway, Fire and the Fury. Tom Waits has a say on that phrase:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-dPqzXDdgw

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So who had ‘first week of 2018’ in the office pool?

    • gallbladder

      I think we all did.

  • rosenbomb

    Looks like we better add “attacks Steve Bannon” to our State of the Union drinking bingo card.

    • Raan

      I’ll have to rely on the Wonkette liveblog because fuck that noise.

    • miss_grundy

      I refuse to watch the SOTU. I’ll have to watch HBO, Starz or Showtime that night instead. That man’s voice just makes me angry.

      • rosenbomb

        Same.

      • Nodrama4mama

        The best part about living in Hawaii is that the SOTU is on in the middle of the afternoon, so I can just enjoy the Wonkette Liveblogging.

        Wonkette, is there a special fund we can donate to for all the alcohol and junk food you will need to liveblog this disaster?

    • DrBigHead

      Wonder if they will cancel the speech? I don’t think Trump will have calmed down by then.

      • rosenbomb

        After the past 24 hours, I can’t imagine that he could stay on track for longer than 30 seconds. The SOTU might devolve into a recitation of all his enemies.

  • Jgb979

    This is karmic payback for the shit head starting a nuclear war dick measuring contest over twitter last night. Bannon may be an amoral Nazi, and there truly is no honor among thieves, but I have no doubt this book is going to be HILLARIOUS

    Serious question: has there been a stupider leader in the history of humanity than Trump?

    PLEASE TURN BREITBART AGAINST YOU you infinitely stupid homonculi. Can we start the great Breitbart Fox News wars of 2018?

    • bluicebank

      I googled, and mostly Trump comes up.

      They say Philip II of Spain (16th Century) was pretty fucking stupid.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Phil 2 is running?

        Where?

        I suspect the Democrats can find a strong challenger, even in deep Red territory.

  • William
  • Mr. Blobfish
    • The Wanderer

      I used to collect those.

  • DrBigHead

    OK, NOW is the time for Mueller to drop a couple of indictments. Junior? Kushner? Both? If anything will engender the rage stroke, that would be it.

    • gallbladder

      That and being trolled by North Korea.

      • DrBigHead

        Oh, YES! That will be magnificent!

        • TimResistit

          The nuke he sends to them will be a magnificent distraction, too I am afraid.

    • shivaskeeper

      Why? Let them continue to feast on each other.

    • TimResistit

      Give this a few more news days first. Let’s not step on our own dick.

  • CripesAmighty

    Oh, my. Dump was about to bleat his ‘awards’ for ‘fake media’. Now what? It’s a Dead Breitbart Dilemma.

  • OrG

    He’s not wrong.

  • William

    “WHAT? JUNIOR DID TREASON? WE CAN’T HEAR YOU STEVE BANNON WITH YOUR OWN COCK IN YOUR MOUTH”
    I had no Idea Steve Bannon was from Nantucket.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The proud island community is so tired of that old, dirty limerick that they voted to change the name to “Nizohndik.”

      Damn you, Steve Bannon!

  • Lurkylu
  • Rickyphoo

    As you can guess, Lord Dampnut is losing his shit. Per HuffPo, trump says, “Bannon has lost his mind!” The whole statement left me laughing hysterically until I remember how Hair Fuhrer still has his finger on the BIG button and is prone to distracting when things get too hot.

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-steve-bannon_us_5a4d200ce4b0b0e5a7aa6f15?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • Thiazin Red

      That statement isn’t deranged sounding at all.

    • puredog

      “Bannon has lost his mind.” Another day, another projection.

  • Red Richmond

    So has anyone put on their hazmat suit to check the comments on dead breitbart since trump called Bannon nuts? Really curious how that cloud-shaped firing squad of rabid shitweasels is going right now.

    • GlazedHaim

      Yup. It’s kind of sad! They’re all going after each other, but no one is funny or articulate enough to really unleash a sick burn. And by sad, I mean fuck them.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        Not with an 11-foot condom 😱😱😱

    • The Wanderer

      (takes off his helmet) A minor sample breaks down like this:
      1. Fake news designed to drive a wedge between Trump and his supporters.
      2. Good news, as Bannon will be able to push the agenda even more effectively.
      3. A distraction from Trump’s amazing progress.

    • WatchHill

      Most are sticking with the Furher.

    • Hazmat on (lasted all of 4 minutes) and as well as the circular squad (like cloud too) is much gnashing of maws plus gloating.

  • GlazedHaim

    Not the first time Trump paid for the services of a leaker.

  • CripesAmighty

    This whole thing is Watergate on poppers.

    • TimResistit

      I can’t think of a recreational drug that makes people this stupid.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Glue. With Trump huffing and screaming: “Don’t look at me!”

    • bluicebank

      Amy Nitrate wants her drugs back.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        As does Mary-Jew-Wanna 🤗🤗🤗

  • Pisto75666

    Steve? Steve Bannon? He had nothing to do with the Drumpf White House. He might have been the guy who brought him a Diet Coke that one time. But he IS crazy

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/he-lost-his-mind-trump-lashes-out-at-bannon-but-doesnt-deny-don-jr-committed-treason/

    President Donald Trump angrily lashed out at former top political strategist Steve Bannon on Wednesday over the multiple explosive claims Bannon made in a new book by journalist Michael Wolff.

    “When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he lost his mind,” Trump wrote. “Steve was a staffer who worked for me after I had already won the nomination by defeating seventeen candidates, often described as the most talented field ever assembled in the Republican party.”

    Trump also hammered Bannon over his decision to enthusiastically endorse failed Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore, who lost last month’s shocking special election in Alabama.

    “Now that he is on his own, Steve is learning that winning isn’t as easy as I make it look,” Trump said. “Steve had very little to do with our historic victory, which was delivered by the forgotten men and women of this country. Yet Steve had everything to do with the loss of a Senate seat in Alabama held for more than thirty years by Republicans.”

    Even though Trump attacked his former political strategist, he did not specifically rebut Bannon’s most explosive charge — namely, that his eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., had committed “treason” by meeting with Russian government officials at Trump Tower in 2016.

    • renegade500

      Hold up – am I not remembering correctly that Trump also endorsed Moore?

      • Sheepshagger

        Memory is an elite democrat conspiracy.

        • renegade500

          So that’s a yes. Cool.

      • Mike Minden

        Fake news! Alternative facts! It was Moore’s Jew lawyer in the pantry with the panzerfaust! Harble gargle! (condition orange – the prez has swallowed his tongue again!)

        • renegade500

          I bet some Schnapps would help that.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            At this point, a liter of Jager might circle-drink him so he starts talking like one of those Brit documentary hosts

      • Pisto75666

        He did, indeed.

        From back in December (Not sure how reputable Politico is here but even so) https://www.politico.com/story/2017/12/04/trump-support-roy-moore-277771/

      • Thiazin Red

        He did after the candidate he endorsed first lost. Then he deleted the tweets in support of candidate 1 and pretended he had never done that. After that he endorsed Moore.

    • BigCSouthside

      holy crap the white house is in full spin over this. I read comments from Sanders and from Melania’s press person and they are on the attack. the only conclusion?

      every word of it is true

      • Pisto75666

        I tried to find Sanders’ comments. I saw on Raw Story there was video but, I’m not ready for word salad yet. What did she say?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If they could capture that spin and teach it to an Olympic skater, we’d have the Gold sewed up forever.

        • Snowbound Ron

          I’m definitely seeing the first octuple Lutz here.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      “Make winning as easy as I make it look”

      Drumpf to English translation: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

    • Mr. Blobfish

      “often described as the most talented field ever assembled in the Republican party” said no one ever. Jindal? Pataki? Fiorino? Santorum? Make me laugh, you bloated sack.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Obviously Trump is trying to outdo Steve Bannon at sucking his own cock.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Imitation is the greatest form of fellatio.

          • Vacuous Virgina

            Fellatio Cornblower?

      • Pisto75666

        “Most talented field ever assembled in the Republican Party”…. kinda like “the best bunch of the stupidest sharks in the tank.” isn’t it?

        Speaking of, whatever happened to Bahbi Jindal anyway? Did he fall off the National Stage or what? (one would hope)

    • puredog

      Well, the LARGEST field. “Most talented”? I’m with the Blobfish.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “…often described as the most talented field ever assembled in the Republican party.”

      Often described by whom?

      Jesus, this guy himself trashed every single one of them in terms so vile that I even felt sorry for Ted Cruise. Ted. Fucking. Cruz.

      It’s just too bad that Putin has kompro’d the lot of them because if there were even two or three R’s who dared to call him on anything, he’d be gone.

      • Pisto75666

        How true. It’s just lucky for him they’re so worried about protecting their own asses, most won’t dare say a thing.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          It never occurred to them, when Trump was openly calling for Putin to hack Hillary that Putin might also hack them.

          So now Lindsay Graham is running scared to death over the secret that anybody with a working brain cell already knows and has known for decades.

          Unless, of course, Vlad has something else on him.

          And on all of these guys.

          • Pisto75666

            Ahh the ever present “it’ll never happen to ME” refrain.

            The one theme that unites the entire Trumplethinskin train wreck.

            Right down to his ignorant, easily duped base.

      • Saint Stephen

        I know what you mean. I never heard that description before. “Often described…” Really?

  • Sheepshagger
    • bluicebank

      From the link:
      The Russian word suka (“сука”, literally “bitch”) has a different negative connotation than its English equivalent. In Russian criminal argot, it specifically refers to a person from the criminal world who had cooperated with law enforcement or the government, or one which had “made itself a bitch” (“ссучился” “ssuchilsya”).

      I don’t know. “Bitch” in English can also mean that.

  • goingohm

    Call Steve “Brute”–cause he just et tu Trumps.

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    “Any information, he said, could then be “dump[ed] … down to Breitbart or something like that, or maybe some other more legitimate publication”.

    so…..even HE knows breitbart is the national whoringhouse of information…stupid fucking grifters

    • Paperless Tiger

      I guess if you’re a nihilist the public forum is as good a confessional as any.

  • mailman27

    Oooh, what a tough guy! Really sounds tough, right? Tough, tough guy.

  • NastyBossetti

    I am feeling so many different emotions at once, right now.

    • WeaselPoo

      Thats what happens when Trump takes yoi furniture shopping…so I’ve heard.

      • NastyBossetti

        I think my predominant feeling in that case would be complete and utter disgust.

      • amrak63

        I thought it was what happened when Trump frisks a stranger in the Alps.

    • bluicebank

      If I had a tab of acid, I’d take it. Simply to see a more realistic reality than this.

  • WeaselPoo

    You know, the upcoming obligatory State of the Union address is going to be face-eating leopards interesting!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      If we drink every time he says “collusion”, we’ll all be in detox before the end of the evening.

      • Saint Stephen

        I can’t bear to watch it. I’ll wait for the commentators’ remarks afterward.

    • Opiwan

      OMG, I think I was willfully omitting the fact that Dump has to do a SOTU soon from my thought processes. What a delightful clusterfuck that’s going to be…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Not obligatory.

      Traditional.

      Trump will chicken out in the most bellicose way he (or his increasingly desperate handlers) can summon up out of thin air.

      I hope he does show up and make a fool of himself but I expect he will be a no-show.

  • Mary Theresa

    LOL Breitfart commenters are in a massive state of confusion over there.

    • Sheepshagger

      Like German communists after the non agression pact. “Hey Joe, who do we hate now?”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      As they are wont to be.

      But even more confusion than usual, I’m guessing.

  • cmd resistor

    So I came across this excerpt from the upcoming book, which has some stuff I hadn’t seen yet. He’s even going to be pissed at Ivanka, because it claims she made fun of his hair and told people how he does it. Overall this is pretty scary stuff. http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/01/michael-wolff-fire-and-fury-book-donald-trump.html?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=s3&utm_campaign=sharebutton-t

    • bluicebank

      Et tu, Ivanka?

      • everstar

        Given that I wouldn’t be surprised if her dad was giving helpful tips to her plastic surgeon, I can’t really be surprised if she takes her revenge in tiny, petty ways.

        • pstokk

          The whole dysfunctional father-daughter relationship could be a lot darker than that. Stay tuned.

    • puredog

      “She treated her father with a degree of detachment, even irony, going so
      far as to make fun of his comb-over to others. She often described the
      mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate — a contained
      island after scalp-reduction ­surgery — surrounded by a furry circle of
      hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to
      meet in the center and then swept back and secured by a stiffening
      spray. The color, she would point out to comical effect, was from a
      product called Just for Men — the longer it was left on, the darker it
      got. Impatience resulted in Trump’s orange-blond hair color.”
      BWAH. HAH. HAH. HAH.

  • Magic Juan

    I’m guessing Donald was in the room when Jr. escorted the Russian in.

  • Beautiful Soup

    Jr. is going after Bannon on twitter….
    “Minus the foul language The Mooch pretty much nailed it.”
    “Wow, Just looked at the comments section on Breitbart. Wow. When Bannon has lost Breitbart, he’s left with . . . umm, nothing.”

    • Daniel

      I really hope Bannon just replies with “at least my dad loved me”.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Jrs. obviously never read Brietbart’s Mission Statement.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • puredog

    um — “Jumos”?

    • wavicles

      The guess is Junior Moscow Officers.

    • Jimh

      One speculation is Dominican slang for “Drunks”.

  • JD Mulvey

    Not only is it ludicrous to think that Jr wouldn’t spill the whole taco bowl to Daddy, it’s equally ludicrous to think that Daddy wouldn’t have demanded to be included in every granule of this whole thing.

    Proof?

    Watch the guy’s teevee show. It’s all there in The Apprentice.

    The only way to survive in the Trump Org is to spill every once of dirt to the boss every single day.

    I hope Meuller’s team is pouring over those vids.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Bannon is quoted as saying “The Kushner shit is greasy” and Breitbart fucks up their headline any way.

  • bluicebank

    “Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency,” Mr. Trump
    said in the statement. “When he was fired, he not only lost his job, he
    lost his mind.”

    ha ha ha ha ha.

    Winter is coming.

    • Lord Jim

      Has everybody here read that Gary Kasparov book?!

      • Daniel

        I love Gary Kasparov’s Book of Chess Jokes.

        • Lord Jim

          He’s a genius of chess and a thorn in the side of the Putin regime. He’s also a bit of an arrogant ass and a nutter for falling for the “New Chronology” bullshit.

          • Charles Insandiego

            Yeah, Kasparov is a nut. Everybody knows that the world was created last Thursday.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Luhde sing goddam.

      • bluicebank

        Ooh, an Ezra Pound reference!

        Getting mighty high falutin’ around here!

  • WeaselPoo

    Manafort just now suing DOJ/FBI for going beyond Russia Interference remit in going after him.
    So, is Mueller about to drop a Manafort indictment? Or is this triggered by Bannon talking about Russian financing Trump’s circus overall and Manafort now scared over laundering connections and being swept up in them?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      My understanding is the Mueller submitted a new indictment against Manafort with new charges. Yeah, Manafort seems pretty desperate.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        Yep. Mueller was supposed to drop a superseding indictment to include tax evasion charges which weren’t ready at the time of the original indictment.

        • Ms.Moon

          People can get early release when they murder people. If you don’t pay your taxes they forget about you in prison, that tax evasion is a going to lockup forever type of charge and couldn’t happen to a nicer rat fink.

    • everstar

      What I’m puzzled by is Manafort’s allegation that the DOJ violated the law by enabling Mueller to indict for any wrongdoings he uncovers. I thought that was part and parcel of a special prosecutor’s ability; it’s how Kenneth Starr got from Whitewater to Monica Lewinsky, and what got Archibald Cox fired. Apparently I can still be surprised by how craven and grasping these guys are.

      • Saint Stephen

        It is amazing, but they can always go lower.

  • Don Jr’s interrogation is going to make for great TV ratings, big league! Donald Sr should be ecstatic.

    • SDGeoff3

      High ratings run in the family.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        So do high rantings 😇😇😇

    • Celtic_Gnome

      People were glued to the tube for the Watergate hearings.

      Of course, that was pre-O. J.

  • everstar

    Trump wrote, “Steve was a staffer who worked for me after I had already won the nomination by defeating seventeen candidates, often described as the most talented field ever assembled in the Republican party.”

    No, the most talented field of candidates ever assembled in the Republican party is still Abraham Lincoln.

  • Anarchy Unicorn

    Seems like the problem with surrounding yourself with dirty rat fuckers is that everyone is always plotting to stab each other in the back and you end up with shit like this. Congrats Donnie, you got exactly what you deserved.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      That’s dirty, incompetent rat fuckers.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Something to thank goodness for daily.

    • CW

      This whole administration is like that Christian Slater movie Very Bad Things.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The businessman model the right has been imploring us to adapt for the government for decades. They don’t bother to tell us that every businessman worth his salt assumes that the guy on the other side is going to try to cheat him, so he cheats him as much as possible in return.

  • lunar62

    Great time to read at Breitbart. Confusion and cognitive dissonance abounds. They’re turning on each other because they can’t figure out who the bad guy is – they can’t be expected to think for themselves, damn it!

    • SDGeoff3

      I choose to take the word of the venerable folk who do not comment here. A visit to Breitbart would blow my vacuum tubes and ruin my buzz.

    • BeachLoafer

      Stopped by for a quick gander at the comments – they’re eating their young over there LOL

      For others who venture into the abyss, whip up a bowl of popcorn and your favorite beverage first – it’s quite a show :)

      • dshwa

        Thanks, but I’d rather not get any of that on my browser.

  • MOG253

    It never ceases to entertain, sadly this is our government.,😢

  • Rooster Cogburn105

    We can haz Reservoir Dogs ending, now, please?

    • BeachLoafer

      No way Tarantino would agree to direct this cast of one-shirt amateurs

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    “Last rat off the ship is a rotten egg!”

    ::::Leaping a’plenty from White House windows:::

  • pstokk

    “One-shirt amateurs” was good, very good.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I can’t even READ Bannon’s words without feeling dirty. He is such scum.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Now that hes attacking Trump, i’m kind of starting to like him.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah. It’s like I hardly know you anymore! Anyway, I like the show too, but still, Bannon….ew!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yeah, he’s gross, but how can I NOT like someone who calls Don Jr. A traitor, and Ivanka dumb as a brick.

  • KnaveOfSwords

    Hopeful thought for everyone here:

    One of the big reasons that many Rs have been refusing to say anything against DOTUS – much less actually do anything – is their fear of being primaried by cult 45, and of what splitting the party would do to their chances in future elections. So, what happens with the kids now that mommy and daddy are fighting?

    If the Hitlerjugend sticks with Bannon, the Dotard no longer has them to hold over Rs in congress or party leadership. And without that, impeachment, article 25, or simply not working to undermine Meuller for him all become possibilities. Additionally, this is almost certain to either split the party or drive Rs further right as Bannon and his trolls run candidates against establishment Rs (either leading to more elections like the one in AL, or with Bannonites as spoilers in the main elections).

    If the base is split between the two, this leaves Dampnut with only a fraction of his Cult45 to hold to the party’s head. By itself, not necessarily a huge change – though likely enough for some Rs – but Drumph is too vindictive to let this go, and Bannon isn’t likely to back down either. This outcome will drive a wedge between the two, and leaves Rs as likely to be primaried by Bannon for being too slavishly devoted to Deadbeat Donnie as by Cult45 for disobeying their witless god-emperor.

    The least optimistic of these is that Cult45 stick with Don the Con. Bannon and Breitbart see their 15 minutes of fame ending. Trump continues to use his control of the base to browbeat Rs in congress into going along with his malignant corruption. The one good point (aside from B&B fading into obscurity) is that this is the scenario most likely to see Bannon decide to take Don down with him (whether that’s cooperating with Meuller, or by turning his shrinking platform at Breitbart against him).

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      As much as I LOATHE Trump, this has made for some good TV. Hopefully it doesn’t end in civil war.

    • And please, please, pretty please with a cherry and extra sprinkles on top – Democrats, liberals, leftists, etc. and so on, PLEASE let the Repubs tear themselves to pieces! Just stand aside and watch!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtqEcLK_Xf0

  • And get that Glenn Greenwald guy to publish it — he’s got a raging hard-on for Hillary anyway.

    Can he get back to you on that? He’s busy having a major hissy fit right now.

  • ContextIsKey

    You can’t treason with hurricane season, as Jimmy Buffet would say.

  • Zyxomma

    $5F, you do have a way with words.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      She’s quickly becoming one of my faves.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Editrix only hires the bestest most wordiest of people.

  • Guest Liberal
  • Begin Anew Day

    “Buncha fucking one-shirt amateurs!”

    That’s as far as I got and I had to cut and paste that into my little black commonplace book!

    I am TOTALLY stealing that!

    Yrs,

    FLOTUS Melania Trump

  • javadavis

    Onion flowers.
    (I am finding it helpful to look up flower pictures regularly)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/433c889de5fc251e39226f9b40cb4c93b44b9ba5501d1493e1c9f16ac0fee689.jpg

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    This is what happens with movements that require “Purity of Thought.” There is always a few people not completely committed. You can purge them, or wait for them to leave.
    Then someone else is the least committed. Push them out. Then the next bunch.
    The normal evolution of Cults of Personality.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I doubt that Bannon hates Javanka solely-and-simply because they are Jewish. I mean, if people are stupid, incompetent assholes, you hate them because they are stupid, incompetent assholes, not because they are stupid, incompetent Jewish assholes.

    It would, in fact, be a kind of reverse discrimination to meet an asshole and choose NOT to hate them simply because they were Jewish. I will make a terrible pun here and say that Asshole-ism trumps Racism, Sexism and Bigotry for intelligent people, and I don’t think Bannon is stupid.

    But I could be wrong on all points.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      That’s not a pun, it’s a palindrome 😂😂😂

  • Henry Kissinger is still alive? WTF!?

  • “[Bannon] insists that he knows no
    Russians, will not be a witness, will not hire a lawyer and will not
    appear on national television answering questions.”

    Yeah…but that whole line in the sand gets a little thinner and weaker when you’re handed a fucking subpoena.

  • Rooster Cogburn105

    General Bannon, the new tank design you ordered is ready for testing, sir, https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf1d19465671c8b4201bc84f465f373161f45b19cbaa7b2a7ccf956a9f8ef5c2.jpg

  • The Librarian

    Mmmmphfddgh!!!1! — Steve Bannon

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Buncha fucking one-shirt amateurs!

    Thank you, F$F. Almost choked on a nice honey lager at that (’cause I wasn’t going to spit it out).

    What makes the joke so exquisite is that it works only on him and no one else.

  • BreakingDeadMen
  • theCryptofishist

    He’s not going to get a lawyer? If I were he (it’s a stretch) I’d have a lawyer or two already. Good ones. Don’t tell me he can’t afford one.

    • Ill-Advised

      He’s bluffing, or already knows someone is out there watching him and waiting for The Word.

  • chimpevil

    Bannon is a sleazy weasel, a grease merchant of the lowest kind, a purulent drunk and all-around horrible so-called person. And I believe every word in this article.

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