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If there is one thing that this year was not short on, it was men who were the absolute WORST. It was the year we all found out (for sure) that legions of men in power had used that power to sexually harass and assault myriad women throughout their career. It was the year that many of you Wonkette readers first found out about the wonderful world of incels, MGTOWs and other manosphere varietals. And for that, I am heartily, heartily sorry.

But let’s do a review anyway!

The Incels

Ah, the incels — “involuntarily celibate” men, for the unintiated. We learned a lot about incels this year — at least up until they were finally banned from Reddit on account of how much time they spent explaining why rape should be legal.

And for things like this:

And maybe just a little bit for things like this:

I was going to my doctors for a routine blood test (taking thyroid replacement) the femoid working at the front, lead me to his office. She was wearing grey leggings totally revealing her ass curves with a damn wedgie. As I followed her she put her hands behind her ass and locked fingers to cover her ass as she walked me to the room
Like no, I am not allowed to look at her ass that she’s showing off to attractive guys. Despite the fact she had the pants up her ass. Femoid be like “Omg my ass is in view of this loser!! Must block his view!”
If it was chad she would have stuck her ass out further and “accidentally” dropped her pen to bend over.
What’s the point anyway? When I was actually having a half decent morning in an OK mood She just had to remind me I’m a reject and god forbid a beta sees her ass.

God forbid, indeed.

The MGTOWs

MGTOWs are “Men Going Their Own Way.” So they’re sort of like incels, but on purpose, though they hate women just as much. One of the big focuses of MGTOWland this year, I found, was sex dolls, and how they will replace all of the living breathing women in the world. Women, they claim, are very scared of the day when that will happen and are doing everything in their power to prevent the dream of sexbots from coming true. Or something.

One of the ways we will do this, they claimed, would be by accepting sex robots as the new standard of beauty and trying to look like them instead of the other way around. That was pretty weird, honestly!

Lol, thanks. Ironically, the real girl is putting on makeup that makes her look MORE like a doll than a real life woman.
So goes to show sex dolls will be the new standard of beauty, not the other way around.
Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if they could actually make a doll that looks like her. The ones available aren’t that far off in realism at all.

They also, unsurprisingly, had a very unique take on the Weinstein scandal!

What is the fucking point of being that rich (net worth $255 million) and powerful (can cast anyone he wants in films with A-list celebs), if you still have to beg and grovel like this audio recording of his? What the fuck? pathetic. IF I had 1/100th of his fortune, I could be living like a absolute king in any number of countries.

The Time We Made It Into The Return of Kings Wiki!

Earlier this year, I found out that I had my very own entry in the wikipedia for the misogynistic site Return of Kings. You know, the one that was founded by that Roosh V guy who lives in his mom’s basement? So I wrote about it on here, and many of you kind Wonkers rushed over to edit it to say NICE things about me and my clown face that I have.

There is still an entry for me, over at the “Male Monarchs Wiki,” which is I guess what they are calling it now. Maybe they’ve returned already and we don’t even know it? It’s still practically the same, but now it mentions all of YOU as well!

Robyn Pennacchia is a Wonkette typist who has written numerous anti-Roosh V and anti-Donald Trump articles for the site. Roosh quipped on Twitter that he wouldn’t bang Pennacchia due to her having a “clown face”, describing her article “Bonus To Hating Trump: Gross MRA Dude Roosh V Won’t Want To Bang You” as “childish”.

After she posted an article about Kings Wiki to Wonkette, her readers launched a vandalism campaign against the wiki.

We did it! Thanks Wonkers! Oh, and because the Kings are so gracious, they left up the version of the article that one of you made as the “Wonkette Approved Version.” Who could ask for anything more?

The Proud Boys

2017 brought us the beautiful gift of The Proud Boys. Started by Vice co-founder, terrifying bigot, and all around horrible person Gavin McInnes, the Proud Boys are a “Western Chauvinist Fraternity” of men who, um, love housewives and can name five brands of cereal. They even had a THEME SONG.

One Proud Boy you may be familiar with is Jason Kessler, who organized the Charlottesville Unite The Right rally! Nice!

Anyone remember 7-Eleven going out of business?

You probably forgot all about this — and I did too! Back in April, A Voice For Men writer Doug Mortimer encouraged his fellow MRAs to boycott 7-Eleven. Why? Because they did a contest for aspiring female entrepreneurs who might want to open a 7-Eleven franchise of their very own.

I just saw a 7-Eleven yesterday, so I think they are doing OK! Sorry, Doug!

The Reckoning

I thought about trying to list all of the men who got called out this year — Weinstein, Al Franken, Roy Moore, Matt Lauer, Kevin Spacey, Russell Simmons, Louis C.K. — but people have already done that and probably missed a dozen or so themselves. There are too many to count.

But if there was one very, very good thing to come out of this year, it was that not only did a bunch of garbage men get called out on their little “issues” with sexual harassment and sexual assault — but that we all stopped feeling shocked every time it happened. We stopped thinking “Not him! It couldn’t be him! Oh no, does this mean I have to hate his movies now?/ NOW MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED!/ Ignition is a really good song, ok?” because, well, yeah — sometimes it could be him and was. The important thing about this, really, is that being a guy everyone loves from afar stopped being a protection these men had against being outed as a predator. That people who are victimized by beloved icons no longer have to think “Oh goodness, who would ever believe me?”

We are jaded now, and that’s a good thing. Because we shouldn’t assume we know a person’s character simply because they are famous. The only two men, at this point, that I’d be genuinely surprised to learn were predators would be Mr. Rogers and Levar Burton. But even then I probably would not fall down dead. This is a good thing. Kill your idols.

In spite of — and I think, largely because of — the fact that our country elected a man who openly bragged about grabbing women by the pussy, we had a massive culling of the herd. A herd which will hopefully be replaced by women and men who do not sexually harass or assault anyone. Those who might otherwise feel the urge to start masturbating in front of the unwilling might avoid doing so simply for fear of getting caught. Because there is no longer reasonable expectation of cover-up.

For all the garbage we sifted through, this happened. And the incels got kicked off of Reddit forever and are now quarantined on a messageboard that people will be far less likely to wander into by accident. Maybe 2018 will be the year we finally ban men FOR GOOD.

I kid, I kid. Just the garbage ones.

$
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  • Msgr_MΩment

    What should be the proper punishment for females who have had more than 1 sex partner in their lifetime?

    Why, my phone number, of course.
    /adjusts bowtie

  • Snowbound Ron

    The conversation wasn’t fun. But it was necessary, and long overdue. And I bloody hope things were learned.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    ….would not bang wonkette.com/603501/bonus-t …

    What? All us non-commenters at once, or just the server on which it resides?

  • memzilla Ω

    Personally, I’m in favor of female genital excitation (by invitation).

  • CripesAmighty
  • Baconzgood

    Not all people with dicks are dicks.

  • Napoleanofthetrump

    Man, I didn’t even remember the Proud Boys. Also too, very few words are less manly than “boy”.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    wait. I’m supposed to kill my darlings and my idols?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Work, work work. It never ends.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        this wouldn’t be a problem if we’d just elected Cthulhu.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          “Cthulhu. I’ve heard of him. He’s bad news, right?”
          “He makes Gozer look like Little Mary Sunshine.”

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            he’d kill my darlings and idols without me lifting a finger because I’d already be dead.

        • Hiss

          “If?”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      that’s how the murders begin…

  • BloviateMe

    After she posted an article about Kings Wiki to Wonkette, her readers launched a vandalism campaign against the wiki.

    https://media.tenor.com/images/9baef56e6faabc7a6cae3b0d474c6770/tenor.gif

    • Snowbound Ron

      When THEY do it it’s ‘correction.’
      When WE do it it’s ‘vandalism.’

      • BloviateMe

        And we’re the snowflakes.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    It’s June on Maui. Little sister Cady has settled in nicely, and we are a happy little island family. Our Mom comes to visit, and to pick up her youngest chickadee to return to Tennessee. It’s her first time on a plane, and she loves it. We have record breaking King Tides and a turtle invasion on Ho’okipa! I’m not gonna lie, when Mom and Cady left, my heart hurt for quite a while. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8bdc4a5467c606fc0a97be795e19acc60942823dee864af312194f4516841c90.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93ff4ef9b26511cb994bdabdd191db1e2818c223641ba4b183822a4f80804403.jpg

    • Snowbound Ron

      Okay, now you’re just being mean.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I’m a mean lady!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Your pictures are stunning and amazing.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Thank you!

  • jesterpunk
  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    SLUT CAMP 2018 ENROLLMENT BEGINS JANUARY 1ST!

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      what are the dates?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        As many dates as possible. That’s how sluts do.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          I just want to know if camp conflicts with any of my dates.

    • Party time!

    • Snowbound Ron

      Wow, time just flies by!

    • BloviateMe

      This really should be documented. I’ll fetch my camera and volunteer my time, free of charge!

    • Baconzgood

      How can one become a camp counselor there? I’m asking for a friend.

    • notaten

      I bet that’s gonna beat vacation bible camp all to hell! Count me in!

    • grindstone

      I’m excited. As a retired slut (married a really great guy that I love), I’m looking forward to the reunion day. I’m giving a keynote speech about dropping the aspiring from between your knees.
      –Slut Emeritus

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It’s gonna be the best Slut Camp yet.

  • jesterpunk
    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      I still prefer the tacos version.

  • Daniel

    Roosh, it should be remembered, finds it an affront to his autonomy to be expected to brush his teeth and wipe his arse.

    Oh, and writes boastfully about rapes he has committed.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Has it ever been confirmed that said rapes actually happened? Because I’m thinking they’re as imaginary as the rest of his sex life.

      • Daniel

        I don’t believe so. It would put n interesting spin on the MRA’s perennial whine about falserape accusations if he had lied about committing rape just to impress people.

        • amrak63

          “Dear Penthouse Forum: You guys won’t BELIEVE what felonies I’ve committed lately…”

          • Daniel

            Dear Penthouse Forum,

            I never believed it could be made to forcibly happen by me…

      • amrak63

        More seriously, why would the dude confess publicly to committing felonies?

        • Shan

          From what I remember reading, he committed them in other countries.

    • amrak63

      AYFKM? He seriously thinks he should not be expected to practice basic hygiene?

      Does Roosh Von Funkybutt think disease germs will refrain from parasitizing him out of respect for his alleged surplus of testosterone?

      • Daniel

        He thinks it’s deeply unmanly and a terrible insult that women won’t sleep with an arse-spidered man.

        There’s apparently a whole thing in MRA circles that anything between one’s arse cheeks makes one gay- including toilet paper and water. So to preserve their straightness they don’t wipe or wash. Their skidmarks are the badges of their manliness, their stink their holy unguent.

        • amrak63

          Surely they’re making that up to troll the rest of us–even they can’t be that stupid, right?

          Right?

          • Daniel

            Honestly, I don’t really care. Their constant claims of “irony” are pretty unconvincing and seem only to be made so they can externalise their own deep fear they they are not clever enough to get other people’s jokes.

            Roosh in utter seriousness boasts about how he gets sex, which he describes in terms of revulsion. He brags about it because that’s what it’s for for him and others in his shit clique: a way to make other men applaud you. Honestly, his crusty arsehole and foetid breath real or not are not the most disgusting things about him. It’s really sad to think his trolling opinions on hygiene are more disgusting than his earnest ones.

      • notaten

        A Navy dentist that I knew told me that after they started allowing women on US Navy ships, the men’s dental hygiene improved immensely. He had thought it curious, so he started asking these guys why they all of a sudden started brushing and flossing. They never felt the need to do so if there weren’t any women around. Now that there’s girls around, it’s all worth it.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      His nym sounds like a mash-up of Rush (windbag limbaugh, whatever) and Russian (which seems to popular in a certain mindset) and an extra O thrown in to be trendy, Either that or he is another one of those pretentious spellers.

  • Baconzgood

    That video was full of more homosexual undertones than the Volleyball ball scene in Top Gun.

    I’m just sad Lemmy isn’t alive to kick the tar out of the proud boys.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      they named themselves after a song in the Broadway version of Aladdin which was written by 2 gay guys. it should.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      WTF was that about, anyway? “Ha ha, watch us wear trilbys and drink scotch!” Fucking lame.

      MY best video of 2017 had a kilted piper and an albino dwarf!

      https://youtu.be/hLENVyNhB28

      • Baconzgood

        I was hoping some one was going to be attacked or pantsed or somthing.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Sorry, I wasn’t drunk enough that day.

      • BloviateMe

        Depoe Bay! I like to get my grog on at the Sea Hag when I’m there.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Good food there. It’s busy, so the service is a bit slow. I was pleasantly surprised by the Chowder Bowl, just a few doors away.

      • Shan

        Try the Kilted Yoga video.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rKIGystgThc

        • Baconzgood

          That was uh…somthing that someone filmed at one point.

          • Shan

            Yes. They also filmed it…somewhere.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Oh, please come do that in my neck of the woods, fellas!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’d been wondering whatever had become of The Piper At The Gates of Dawn.

    • Nockular cavity

      Lemmy lives! Well, in a fashion.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7-sbiGlzw

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      I’m a proud gay guy. Could I get a green light to call it a reparative anti-hate crime if I were to beat the shit out of these two? It would make me so happy.

  • TJ Barke

    Femoids? WTF is wrong with these people?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I’d need to see a letter from the Patrician before I would classify them as “people”.

      • Nobby Nobbs Libelz! (Something one would not think possible)

        • Snowbound Ron

          Don’t you absolutely love how his story arc has been resolved? Though I agree, Shine of the Rainbow could do a LOT better.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      I think the first question answers the second.

    • Gigglesnort

      Where to even start?

    • Parakeetist

      Everything.

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Sounds like my former roommate. He always referred to women as “females.” I finally got sick of his shit and told him that “a female” is what you’d call one half of a mating pair of fish, and if I ever heard him use it again I was going to flush his stash down the toilet. Since that was the ultimate threat to his very survival I never heard him use it again.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Thank you, for that it drives me crazy to hear myself referred to as half of a mating animal pair.

        • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

          Oh, this guy would have been an incel if he wasn’t stoned most of his non-working time. He’s the kind of person that you’re willing to go out of your way for, but the next day you wanted to punch him in the dick. He was really stuck on himself as a self-styled artist and intellectual who always whined about how no one was capable of appreciating his level of genius. He couldn’t work the oven without help.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oh Christ, I dated one of those Tortured artist types. Talented but pretentious as hell. The old “I’m sensitive “trope (but not to your feelings.)

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    What a bunch of maladjusted assholes. Slimes, the lot of them. Such raging insecurity.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I have felled 10 million men with my mind games (which is fancy because I am obviously less intellectually inclined with my lady brain) and yoga pants (even though I don’t own any)! WHEEEE!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I can hardly wait until the rapist running ruining the US is drummed outta town.

  • FauxAntocles

    In all seriousness, aren’t most of these MRA types just self-hating closet cases?

    • Snowbound Ron

      Survey says, ‘Yes.’

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      I think that’s stretching the statistics a little bit.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I think it’s much more likely for them to just be painfully insecure and socially maladjusted heteros.

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      That hasn’t been what I’ve seen.

      Self-hating closet cases take their fury out on well-adjusted gay men like myself. They start as bullies in school and move up into the bro packs hoping that that they can pass. The closet cases I’ve known either eventually accept themselves and go through a semi-cringy second adolescence. Or they kill themselves.

  • Rick Hill

    Ban garbage men? Can’t we as an advanced, civilized society do something a little better? Lobotomy or labor camps or somethin?

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      we will send them to live with Harvey Weinstein and all the plastic bags we banned.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Upstate.

  • Rick Hill

    Ok, so now everyone and their Wonkbrother/Wonksister has posted an article today. Anymore coming this way? Hmmmm?

    • jesterpunk

      5 left

      • Rick Hill

        Awwww. c’mon! What, we gotta read a novel today?

        • jesterpunk

          There will be a test tomorrow.

          • Rick Hill

            Fine but I’m looking at someone else’s work

      • Msgr_MΩment

        If this lasts till Mountain Time (Ha! Like there is such a thing!) we’ll be here through Wednesday.

    • WilbyToad

      I mean, there HAS TO BE a Wonkamphibian article. Or am I living in my own pond…

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I just knocked over a potted plant. That’s how you know you’re having a good NYE. To be fair, it’s been dead quite some time and I should have put it away a long time ago.
    As long as I don’t knock over the bottle of Champagne, it’s fine, I guess.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Donna Rose says, “Hold my sippy cup.”

    • BloviateMe

      If you’re going to soil yourself, this is the better option.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I love it when wonketers talk dirty.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        I still have to pick it up though.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Garbage men are gross as hell, but also forgettable. What’s in the oven that smells good?

    • Snowbound Ron

      Pork tenderloin. Should be done in a minute or two.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Yum! We’re having spicy smoked trout sandwiches with sweet potato fries and cole slaw. Washed down with champagne, obvs.

        • Snowbound Ron

          Drat, THAT’S what I was gonna get today.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Sanitation Engineer libel!!

      Oh wait, you meant MRA garbage men. As you were.

    • grindstone

      On the stove: collard greens and black eyed peas. Doing it traditional-style this year, we need all the luck we can get.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    2017: When every loser in the country thought we needed to hear what was on their shitty mind.

    How the fuck are we going to clean this country up at this point?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      High-pressure hoses and about 600 million gallons of Lysol?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        We need a multi-purpose antibiotic for these cooties.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      well, their “emporer” does. so we start by getting his ass out of office.

    • Jonny On Maui

      One stinking pile of shit at a time.

    • lastroth

      I recommend Dawn for the oily orange stain covering everything in the White House.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • TJ Barke

      What the ever loving fuck?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      This is what’s left of the NYT once they figured out Trump actually likes them.

      • Nockular cavity

        NYT: “What President Trump Looks Like Now Doesn’t Make Any Sense!”

        • Daniel

          This Queens Pensioner’s One Weird Trick To Undermining Democracy Will Blow Your Mind!

    • RobKanC

      Failing NYT is failing!!!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Accessible? Turnip wouldn’t piss on his supporters if they were on fire.

    • wait! what?
    • DrBigHead

      I want the NYT to STFU.

    • Daniel

      Cue Murgl Himblmump explaining how utterly excellent this perception is and how everyone criticising it is tiresome and stupid.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Speaking of garbage men: Congratulations to the Cleveland Browns on going All-Defeated.

    At least some of the fans have a good sense of humor. The No Victory Parade around the Factory of Sadness (sponsored by Excedrin!) will be good for a laugh anyway. More than the ’08 Lions and ’77 Buccaneers got.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      A perfect season!

      • Master Contrail Program

        1-31 in two years. A truly remarkable achievement in the modern NFL. Yes, the Bucs started 0-26 as a franchise but free agency and salary caps didn’t really exist back then like they do today.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Plus the Bucs were, as you said, a new franchise. Mostly stocked with over-the-hillers and babes-in-the-woods. Cleveland’s in year 18 of their resurrection – they don’t have that excuse.

          • Master Contrail Program

            I’m mighty impressed that they’re retaining the coach, or so they say. Ordinarily I’d say two years is not enough time but that’s the worst two year stretch that I can recall seeing in any professional sport.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I just looked, and the 49ers are beating the hell out of the Rams. Looks like the new quarterback finally has it dialed in.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nature generally abhors a vacuum, but occasionally she finds something that sucks that tickles Her fancy.

    • Baconzgood

      You can borrow one of our super bowl trophies for a week end and pretend.

      -A Steelers Fan-

  • Baconzgood

    Well I think you’re a very fetching woman Robyn.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      She’s spoken for. I already checked :)

      • Baconzgood

        I think I got the oldz anyhow.

        • Shan

          Hey!

          • Baconzgood

            I just had my birthday. I’m an old man.

          • Rick Hill

            (with a bent nose.)

          • Baconzgood

            Yes. I’m not much of a catch.

          • Rick Hill

            Not very good on the zinging and zipping to avoid the flying stuffs, either. ‘S’ok, Shan seems to ignore that part

          • Baconzgood

            Well. Some times she doesn’t like me too much.

          • Boojum

            I am eaten up with the oldz. I just admire them in an intellectual way.

          • Shan

            Just you wait…

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Kill your idols.

    If you want heroes keep them safe

    They don’t stand up to life

    So lock them in your soul and lose the key

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZwZYjsJLWk

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Oh Puhleeze. What do these men know? As a straight woman, Robyn is still on my laminated list, so they can shut the ever loving fuck up about her alleged “clown face.” They only say that because they know she’d never even consider sleeping with them in the first place.

  • jesterpunk

    Well looks like we got some work to do this year.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/xT9KVBJrllxZToy3Uk/giphy.gif

    • gallbladder

      Was just looking up “all cut out for us” in the dictionary.

  • Rick Hill

    You know, I blame the interwebs for some of this. These guys would be, proly, ok if they just lived their regular lives. as it is, they can get online and surfs all the beautiful, dressed and undressed wommins their hearts desire. They’re just the kind of guys who feel that they deserve stuff just because their mommies told them they were special so they lash out because it’s right there in front of them and they can’t haz any. Which, this is just what those reedumication camps were made for.

    • jesterpunk

      But before the intertubes there was the catalogs, the ones that still come out all the time.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but this is like the never ending gobstopper. Except with wimmin. Nekkid ones. Some of them doing the sexxytimes stuff. Feeding the frustrations of these, obviously, emotionally stunted individuals

        • Swampgas_Man

          I wish to point out that there’s a lot of sexxytimes MEN on the innerwebs too. Just for equal opportunity frustration.

          And yet, I do not rampage.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I’m thinking it has to do with the way some guys brains are wired. Of course getting in and toying around with the wiring is wrong, for some reason.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I blame the men who behave this way for the men who behave this way.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but just saying what I think is behind some of this, not making one excuse for them, at all.

      • wait! what?

        It’s because of their circle-jerk reasoning.

        • Rick Hill

          Freaking seriously the “arguments” they use are about the same level as their behavior, about fourth grade. It’s about the same level as the trumps and every spokesperson they have, uses.

          • wait! what?

            They basically need cliff notes for South Park because of its inherent intellectuality.

          • Rick Hill

            I think that everything they don’t understand or want to hear, they have a blind spot that it just doesn’t’ exist for them, at all.

      • Parakeetist

        AMIN

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      objection: regular lives not in evidence.

      if they love their mommies so much, why don’t they let their mommies arrange gay marriages for them?

      you mean the reeducation/FEMA camps at Walmart what Jade Helm 2025 will fill?

      in conclusion:
      https://media.giphy.com/media/L9BR6nx99sgyQ/giphy.gif

      • Rick Hill

        Awwww, man. We almost had them thinking the Walmart sekrit tunnels were not real…way to blow it, man.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          we’ll just have the slut squad walk past their houses in yoga pants. they will forget again.

    • Baconzgood

      I blame blunt force head trauma.

      • Rick Hill

        But just try to use that as a remedy and watch how fast you get banhammered….

        • Boojum

          Which is hardly fair, as the hypothetical person is merely advocating banhammering the incels. With a real hammer.

        • SDGeoff3

          Oh, you’re good.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, atchually, I think that a society should have better remedies for this type of mental disorder. Which, it is, a disorder the same way these people who ignore all reality to defend trump and the rest of that ilk. The ones who won’t give the pizza gate thing a rest.

          • SDGeoff3

            I’m with ya.

    • HazooToo

      The porn on the internet isn’t to blame. It’s the ability to find other men who are just as pathetic and full of hate as they are. They formed little disgusting communities where they were always right, no matter how repugnant and murderous and insane their expressed views were. Let that stagnate for a few years, and poof! We have the scum of the Earth.

      • Rick Hill

        I am not saying it’s to blame. I’m saying that it feeds a frustration they themselves have. I’m only guessing as I, myself, have never been the kind of person that sees something I want but don’t have and that I have to have it, regardless of reality. If that makes sense. I’m just used to having what I have and if I don’t have, then I don’t make idiotic arguments for why I am entitled to it.

        • As a person who has watched more than their share of porn while still maintaining respectful attitudes about women, I don’t think it’s the porn’s fault. It could be partially the fault of their inability to differentiate fantasy from reality, but that’s still not porn’s fault.

          The biggest problem by far is the circle-jerk echo chambers they’ve formed for themselves, though. These people would be ranting at street corners to indifferent passers-by without the Internet.

  • Baconzgood

    I forget. Are these the same people as the “red pill” people?

  • I have no doubt that this dude is quite sincere; nevertheless, White Guy Explains How Movies with Strong Feminine Leads Can Lead Us Astray is not a good look.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      They gratify audiences by mirroring their own beliefs back to them — depicting white women as heroic paragons of virtue crusading for righteous causes — which, in turn, licenses viewers to avoid having either to acknowledge the far more complicated role white women are playing in our politics or to consider what other forms of racialized womanhood these heroines are occluding. So, while these films may trade on a widespread desire for transformative change, they are also replaying cultural scripts that our recent history already seems on the verge of exhausting and, in the process, foreclosing more visionary — and truly transformative — artistic and political possibilities.

      I’d love to see a woman of color cast as a superhero. What’s your point, dude?

      • jesterpunk

        They used a lot of big words there to not say much of anything.

    • LeftyProud

      Did the author just try to equate strong femal characters who save the world to Uncle Tom’s Cabin? If so, that is the extreme of Whataboutism. Truth be told, I could not stomach the entire article. Bad on me for not reading it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    She was wearing grey leggings totally revealing her ass curves with a damn wedgie. As I followed her she put her hands behind her ass and locked fingers to cover her ass as she walked me to the room

    Gee, I wonder why a woman might not want to let it all hang out for a creep who is following her and gawking at her behind FFS.

    • Boojum

      I also suspect that she did that with EVERY guy who followed her, as she realized she had a wedgie in her tights and was embarrassed.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Gawking obviously, and not even trying to pretend otherwise?

  • msanthropesmr

    I for one welcome our new female overlords.

    • amrak63
    • Shan

      I dunno about other women, but I’d tend to be more collaborative than hierarchical.

      • SDGeoff3

        My colleagues at my new-ish workplace are all women. I’m the only male. What I love about working in this environment is it’s quiet, collaborative, and we meet at round tables. We also take turns making and serving the tea. I’m in paradise.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Yes, Me too.

    • SDGeoff3

      I adore mine. I would walk barefoot over Legos for these people.

  • WilbyToad

    Levar Burton? I dunno… Geordi La Forge’s visor seemed kinda x-ray spec-ish to me.

    • HazooToo

      Also he was an entitled whiny douche in that episode where he fell in love with a woman who he made holodeck romances of, and never even bothered to fucking check if she was married.

      • Nockular cavity

        LeVar Burton’s fine, but La Forge was off the creepmeter scale on that episode.

        • HazooToo

          It’s weird going back to watch something you love and seeing things in an entirely new light. Sometimes, not in a good way. But I will always love Reading Rainbow!

          • Shan

            I still bawl during Tasha’s funeral.

      • WilbyToad

        Fool act like the holodeck don’t keep a record.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Ironically, the real girl is putting on makeup that makes her look MORE like a doll than a real life woman.

    Why do I suspect this gem has precious little experience with real life women, and hence has no idea what we actually look like?

    • HazooToo

      I suspect, also-too, that this gem who loves complaining about women who wear make-up looks like someone lit his face on fire and then tried to put it out with a salad fork.

  • Bill Diaz

    I fully admit (and otherwise wallow in) being a make chauvinist piglet (my recommendation is to look up the origin of that word and Maurice Chauvin, lol). but the picture they used for you in their ‘Tardepedia’ entry was STUNNINGLY beautiful, in a mysterious, alluring ‘art fag’ kinda way. If it gives Robyn any satisfaction, probably a quarter of the people who see her entry would gladly swap their very souls for permission to be able to even touch you.

    You win.

    Have a great New Year!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Good to see you, Mr. Diaz! HNY!

    • grindstone

      Hey bubba, what’s the word on you these days???

      • Bill Diaz

        Trying to stay alive, lol. It is a race to see what happens first, complete renal failure or getting fixed. Im not dead yet!

        Have a great New Year!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Hang in there please, We need all the good people on this planet that we can get.

      • Bill Diaz

        Not dead yet, lol. My New Year’s resolution is to make it till next year.

        Have a great New Year!

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    “dear non-comments,

    I was never much for toys except the odd laser pointer, but I now have some mice. I have a boy mouse and a girl mouse–though I don’t know which one is the one in the pink tutu–and I gotta say, it’s not bad. they right here in my desk bed.

    tuna fishes,
    Cary Cary”

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Alright have to put pants on and go out for whiskey sipping.

    • Rick Hill

      But…there are PEOPLE out there….

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I know. I hid most of the day.

        • Rick Hill

          Well, they didn’t go away….

    • Baconzgood

      This makes me sad. I have to work.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Aw, that sucks. I hope this cheers you up:

        https://twitter.com/steelers/status/947601653015904257

        • Baconzgood

          That’s good newz. It still should have been a TD against New England. I can’t see how it wasnt.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            I know. Here’s hoping we get revenge in the playoffs!

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Or the Ravens knock em off. Bloody them, at least.

          • little miss high and mighty

            NE notorious , stinking cheats- they bribed the refs

          • Baconzgood

            Even all the announcers were amazed.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Yinz probably already seen this, but… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbcgwnOxAjE

          • Baconzgood

            He is a funny guy.

    • SDGeoff3

      Yes. But when you get home…

    • WilbyToad

      Be careful. The unintentional lane weavers have been out since 2pm.
      I spose getting shitfaced early is their way of beating the checkpoints.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      I put on pants earlier to meet up with a campaign person, but Calliope Jane had 2 dresses, 2 coats and 0 pants on. she is dedicated.

    • Yellerduck

      The best parties do not require pants. You should come to my house.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    There is still an entry for me, over at the “Male Monarchs Wiki,” which is I guess what they are calling it now.

    That’s a great picture of you. I hope you don’t get hit on by the creeps who read that thing!

    • HazooToo

      I wonder if that entry is still able to be modified by guests!

    • Rick Hill

      Jeebus. It’s as though these guys have taken the He-man woman hater club thing to a whole new level and everyone has to have their own tree house where they can make the rooles and keep girl cooties out.

  • Boojum

    Oh, and Chief Justice John Roberts is ordering the federal courts to do a study on how they handle sexual harassment cases. From experience, I can tell you it is all over the map and often pretty bad.

    • leslie

      whats weird is not a word about wall st…a hotbed of horrible….not a word….also…IS there one profession or occupation where this isnt a problem…..also…..seriously…after reading todays new york times article on blue collar harrassment twds women……and thinking of a l l these men…..how the f and w h e n the f is anyone w o r k i n g…is this all american men do at work? seek opportunities to hump, insult or intimidate some female coworker….its astonishing anything gets done at all.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Wall Streeters aren’t as much in the public eye as politicians or celebrities. That may mean that they get away with stuff because they’re under less scrutiny, or it may mean that when they do get called out it doesn’t get as much coverage. Here’s hoping it’s the latter.

  • Boojum

    By the way, if you had a clown face, I would no longer be afraid of clowns.

  • jesterpunk

    Well looks like Chrissy Teigen isnt having any of the pizzagate morons shit.

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/coralewis/a-conspiracy-theorist-who-believes-in-the-pizzagate-hoax

    • HazooToo

      Question: If you were in whatever position you want, government, law enforcement, media, how would you stop a weird ass witch hunting lynch mob fixated on an eternally escalating conspiracy with secret courts and arrests?

      • jesterpunk

        I don’t think you can, someone posted a twitter thread explaining this last night and no matter what happens they wont believe its not real.

        • HazooToo

          Yeah, she’s in that article. I read her whole thread. It’s absolutely crazy.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    They even had a THEME SONG

    OK, I’m mildly curious…

    (listens)

    I lasted a grand total of five seconds FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81d07684db5dfe7310089c8c0010407a38b43d1c47fe6b95b484a813a31fac38.jpg

      • sarafina

        Love this.

    • little miss high and mighty

      needs moar question marks

    • amrak63

      I listened to all of it.

      WTF is WRONG with me?

      • theCryptofishist

        I did, also, too. I’m not sure if it’s highly bland, highly offensive, or that most rare of things, bigly offensivebland.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Blandly offensive? Offensively bland?

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD
    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I see his murder button has not been activated today.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        like when he’s trying to bite the shit out of my hand while I type?

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Well, he does not yet grasp that you must type to keep him in mice.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            he just wants to warm his butt on the computer.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Wow, his eyes are beautiful!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        they’s bedroom eyes!

    • HazooToo

      So shiny!

  • little miss high and mighty

    D E A R R O B Y N A N D S T A F F
    Have a Happier New Year (our new patented greeting)
    ps We ctually have fairly good, decent, almost non threatening loveable male human here- our email host. Not too bad we send him the same greetings and hopes he lets us non comment sine we will never ever be able to have our own access, nor even our own office or much of anything. Thank you , Sister An—— for this wonderful neighborhood and the fine year behind and ahead. Thank you Wonkers- you are fun mates.
    Be well- all.
    LMH&M +

  • Swampgas_Man

    Gawddess help me, I work tomorrow morning. So no champale for me tonight.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Back in April, A Voice For Men writer Doug Mortimer encouraged his fellow MRAs to boycott 7-Eleven.

    Popped into one on Friday night and it was crowded AF. Well done, MRA/MGTOW/IDGAF peeps!

    • theCryptofishist

      Kiss of Death…

  • Nockular cavity

    “Male Monarchs Wiki,” which is I guess what they are calling it now.

    Wait, they’ve moved on to studying butterflies?

    • Khavrinen

      One could only hope.

  • Yellerduck

    Please take all that follows through the lens of a drink or several:
    After one too many dick jokes, I had to think this morning what the ‘p’ in “p in v” stood for. That being said, thank you all for helping me to stay sane this year. It’s been dark, but at least its been darkly funny. Happy New Year everyone. Love you guys and gals and non-binaries.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Were you trying to remember where you left it?

      • Yellerduck

        No, I just kept coming up with alternate names. I immediately went to ‘prick then got muddled for a brief minute. It was early.

      • amrak63

        Did you check the medicine cabinet?

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      what did you think “D&C” was?

      • Yellerduck

        Dewars and coke. A sin at best.

        • George Clarendon

          Upper-class Mexicans think Coke is only fit to mix with Johnny Walker Red.

      • Shan

        Dusting & Cleaning

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Diversion and Collusion?
        Hitler?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    New story just posted. See you there!

    • Rick Hill

      Too. Many. New. Stories.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Anybody else think Comey is trolling Trump?

    https://twitter.com/Comey/status/947615038415794178

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ban us for good?! Hey wait, I’ve got recipes! And cat pictures!

  • amrak63

    Uh, I think “Uhuru” is actually pronounced with all the “u”s having the “oo” sound, as in “dude”.

    • theCryptofishist

      Why are they singing about a black woman character from a highly Klanless historical document?

      • They think it’s ironic.

        • theCryptofishist

          Thank you, but that didn’t explain anything. Guess I’ll change my name to Fish Bulb.

          • George Clarendon

            Uhuru is Swahili for the word Freedom. You’re quite welcome.

      • sarafina

        I hear Uhuru I think of Star Trek.

    • John Thorstensen

      They’re actually celebrating the pioneering early 1970s X-ray astronomy satellite.

      Little known fact.

  • notaten

    oK, I’mma go to the new thread, but I would still like to know more info about slut camp. Like, can slightly older lesbians attend, is there an enrollment fee? Will there be a flyer enclosed with the gay agenda for 2018? So many questions!

    • theCryptofishist

      Can I simultaneously attend slut camp and space camp, or is it sequential thing?

      • How about slut camp IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          I like the cut of your jib.

      • notaten

        Don’t see why not. First rule of slut camp? Don’t talk about slut camp!!!

    • gingerwentworth

      it would be an unending fashion show in the dark with just torches– that’s how I see the first two days…

  • tehbaddr

    Is this our open thread? I never got a chance to air my grievances!

  • grindstone

    Touchdown, Tampa Bay!

  • Women, they claim, are very scared of the day when that will happen and are doing everything in their power to prevent the dream of sexbots from coming true.

    The day that sexbots are invented for a bunch of scrotes who refer to women as ‘femoids’ will be declared a national holiday by NOW.

    Then the sexbots will go haywire and violate the three laws of robotics, and that day will also be declared a national holiday.

    • theCryptofishist

      Of they could be James Alan Gardner and declare them dangerously non-sentient. It’s a phrase they oft inspire in me.

    • Sharon Cooper

      As long as the sexbots never achieve sentience, I’m okay with these wastes of skin fucking with them instead of actual women.

      If the sexbots achieve sentience, I fully support freeing them to live the lives they want, free of mouth-breathing troglodytes.

      Free the sexbots!

    • leslie

      scrotes…i m going to remember that…as for sexbots….yes…hurry up….maybe these …….scrotes will stfu

    • gingerwentworth

      that was such a funny part– real women crying over their loss even tho these people already understand they’re sitting on this horrible shelf grunting at each other because they don’t have any dates.

    • Hiss

      YES! For violating the three laws of robotics!

  • theCryptofishist

    Okay, if that’s an example of what you have to be proud about, you are very, very, very, extremely, immensely, enormously, catastrophically poorly named.

  • Magnificent Mopery.

    Robyn, I can only imagine you keep a vomit receptacle handy whenever you are wading through the slime of these garbage men sites. I am a old, but I would be delighted to meet you and tell you how much I appreciate your work sometime if I am up in Chicago visiting my two well raised, urbanite sons. As an editor I know the effort and skill that goes into your writing.

  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    So, I haven’t read through the article yet, but I wanted to start commenting: Slut camp sounds like a great experience! Ok, moving on…

  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    I suddenly feel very bad for sex dolls.

  • sarafina

    Excellent, Robyn! I was bummed by Joss Whedon being shown as a basic cheater, I haven’t heard of any harassment by him but I haven’t actually talked to his ex-wife whom called him a large POSEUR regarding women’s issues. Disappointed, but undaunted I will persist!

  • Ya know, that Proud Boys song isn’t even the worst ‘alt-right’ song out there…

  • Evidence-based Ugly Dude

    I don’t understand this thing in the Incel Poll:
    “Slut camp(they get disciplined to keep their cunts close)”
    I assume it refers to that old aphorism, “Keep your sluts close, but your cunts closer.” But I could be wrong.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Pfffft, losers, coffee is for closers, dammit!

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Wait — did Mike Thernovith get left out on purpose or are we finally not giving a shit about him? Either way I’m okay with it.

  • SadDemInTex

    You do realize that Pence might be one of the very few men in the 45 admin that is innocent of sexual harassment…he’s guilty of being a sexist racist douche bag but his wife, Mommy, was always around.

    • Sharon Cooper

      Please. He’s so closeted, he’s hanging out with the White Witch.

    • gingerwentworth

      How do you know? Because he says so with a sincere expression on his face? Or because his head is shaped just like a bean? Honestly, he’s a very hard man to believe.

    • Squeegee

      That is because Pence is totally gay but hasn’t acted on it yet other than taking a wide stance in public bathrooms in DC and Indianapolis

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks for going where I won’t go and reporting back, Robyn. Happy new year to you and yours.

  • Squeegee

    The fraternity at Columbia that Neil Gorsuch belong to had a room they kept dark 24/7 they called the “slut hut” where women would go in to have anonymous sex with men.
    I’m guessing a lot of the guys were probably getting blown by other guys without knowing it

  • Gary Teves

    I would like to say you definitely do not have a clown face, and are much closer to the visually stunning angel you describe yourself to be. Plus, I enjoy your column very much! Have a great 2018!

  • I dunno, Robyn. 2018 seems like it’s shaping up to be the year where the public sphere tries to turn “garbage men” into recyclables. Concern-troll articles like this are a bad omen:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/31/us/politics/sexual-harassment-politics-partisanship.html

    Indeed the year ended with a noticeable uptick of these “blacklash” articles, trying to paint women fighting against sexual violations as some over-reactionary hysterical “fad.”

    In addition, we already seem to be prepping some of these men for their “comeback” tour. There has been more effervescent praise of Al Franken now than there has been during his entire senate run.

    • I think (at least I hope so) that the “backlash” articles are the result of people coming to a little bit of sense and realizing that “uncomfortable butt grope during a photo op” and “have sex with me if you want to get anywhere in your career” are very different things that need to be treated differently. Sure, shoplifting a candy bar and embezzling millions from a company are both Theft, but who in their right mind would give them the same punishment?

    • Moar Wordz

      I agree.
      By giving them a voice in major news outlets, I wonder if we’re giving them space to spawn as snails do.

  • So are the sex dolls these men want so badly going to be sent to “slut camp” too? (I swear the lukewarm tapioca that makes up these mens’ brains must have long expired under the strain of these logical inconsistencies.)

    • Hiss

      The Stepford Wives was written some years ago. Maybe they just finally found out about it? And missed the dystopian satire?

  • Snork Maiden

    I have great bigly admiration for you Robyn. Whilst I know that the correct response is to ignore these sad human scum, my gut reaction as a female and mother of two more girl childs is to find the biggest cricket bat possible and……
    Probably shouldn’t finish that thought as I can feel my blood pressure rising at the thought of these assholes being anywhere near my girlies.

    • Carole

      It’s hard to get a cricket bat here, but I do keep a Louisville Slugger in my car for that explicit purpose. Because I too have a teenage daughter, and because Donnie Donowitz is my hero.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Pepper Spray is far superior IMHO. An ideal defense weapon should:

        1. Have range so you don’t have to get to grips with attacker
        2. Require little to no special training or strength as most attacks are ambush-type where the assailant is pumped up and you’re not
        3. Work on >90% of the population: we had some guests at our hotel who’d been sprayed so many times they were immune, but that’s rare on the street.
        4. Last and most important: if it’s taken away and used against your, as most weapons can and will be in real life, it can’t be used to cripple or kill you.

  • Ugh! Unfortunately 2018 already indicates men are still not learning their lesson:

    https://twitter.com/laurenduca/status/947853187654045697

    • Tania

      In the good old days we had such a thing as the “Ladies Lounge” at an establishment where the ladies could go for a refined drink and catch up and the men could get blind drunk and behave badly. If you can use the google to find out about front bars in Aussie pubs or the infamous six oclock swill – have fun.

  • TimResistit

    “We can all name 5 brands of cereal”….WTF?

  • ginmar

    Incels have formed another reddit—–r/maleforeveralone.

    • Teecha

      If all they did was whine about being terminally unfuckable, that would be fine. Or even if they supported each other into developing into decent adults who other people might want to fuck, that would be ok.

      • ginmar

        They just keep egging each other on—–and blaming women. It’s supremely creepy.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          Heaven forbid they should ever take responsibility for their OWN actions! It can’t *possibly* be THEIR fault no one wants their pathetic little peeners.

          Really, where is Tura Satana when you need her.. or some dommes willing to grant these (incoherent mumbling) to the special attention they’re so clearly begging for. Squirm, you worm!

          • Trump’s Potemkin Village

            These InCels need a pair of bootstraps!

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            To the rear. Followed by a session of groveling and Please Mistress, may i have another? (Note the ‘i’ is not capitalized..)

  • Teecha

    Robyn, you deserve a medal for wading around in the steaming jizz that these (happily non-shagging) idiots spurt all over their fusty corners of the internet.

    Edit- to make more sense.

  • (((Aron)))

    Trix, it must be said: the photo that Rushv posted is EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL.

    You are a gorgeous, gorgeous lady, and one hell of a mom. To say nothing of your being a super-awesome mommyblogger.

    13/10, would hug and money.

  • (((Aron)))

    (And it really bugs me that you listed Senator Franken in that august group of creepers.)

  • Jo Mathie

    You deserve a medal for wading through all that ugliness Robyn (and you can bet that if you had shown any interest in those idiots they’d not be mocking your lovely photo). Weirdly the two times I’ve had men try to sexually attack me it was when I was wearing not remotely revealing work uniforms and not being at all flirty. Sometimes when you are female you can’t win. Lucky I have some awesome men in my life or I’d go and live in a cave or something.

  • Carole

    When he said “Clown Face, would not bang” he was referring to himself (see below). Which is really sad for him, since he never emerges from his mother’s basement. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de66aac98624e05c6830155aa4614bed62196b78bb3582798a235b51f42fac84.png

  • Hrmm… Who knew that I found clown faces attractive…

  • Katamount

    These men are all terrible, but incels are without a doubt the worst. They dehumanize women to an extent that other brands of garbage men can only aspire to. They’ve forget entire identities, entire worlds, peopled by a colourful cast of Chads and Staceys that exist merely to justify their own resentment women due entirely to their own entitlement.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    “It was the year that many of you Wonkette readers first found out about
    the wonderful world of incels, MGTOWs and other manosphere varietals.”

    Yes, thanks to Wonkette I found out about the thoroughly repellent and pathetic InCels. Ugh. Thanks!

    The MGTOWs are hilarious. Whining on and on about “going their own way.” Then do it already and quit whining about it, losers!

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