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If you are anything like us, or are just a normal human person who would not go out and vote an accused ephebophile into the United States Senate, you are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with people who would. Much like we were all wondering, and are still wondering, what the hell is wrong with people who voted for Donald Trump.

Last night, a segment on Vice News on HBO featured a Roy Moore supporter focus group, moderated by Republican pollster Frank Luntz, in hopes of giving us all some insight into the minds of these disturbed voters.

The primary gist is that most of these voters think that Roy Moore’s accusers are lying and possibly being paid to do so — but also that the things they are accusing him of are totally fine anyway and they see absolutely nothing wrong with them. You know, because people are often paid by mysterious entities to falsely accuse politicians of things that there is nothing wrong with them having done.

In fact, according to one fella on the panel this was perfectly acceptable behavior.

“If Roy Moore was guilty, if he was at the mall hitting on this 14-year-old… Forty years ago in Alabama, there’s a lotta Mamas and Daddies that’d be thrilled that their 14-year-old was getting hit on by a district attorney.”

To be fair, you can’t really expect any sentence beginning with “Forty years ago in Alabama” to end well. Although it is also possible that he is confusing real life in 1977 with the lyrics to “Fancy.”

Many of those on the panel expressed frustration that these women would suddenly accuse Roy Moore of being a perv just before an election. Unfortunately, Luntz did not point out that the reason they were speaking out now is because reporters from the Washington Post had heard rumors about Moore’s behavior and specifically sought Leigh Corfman out. Or, perhaps, pointed out that it’s a lot easier to come forward about something if other people are also coming forward. This is not a fun thing to be alone on!

The conversation then moved to the fact that pretty much no black people in Alabama were going to vote for Roy Moore, and why that might be (Psst! It is maybe because he says things about how great America was back when they were slaves?).

One man’s answer, perhaps ironically, was that “Because they listen to people that have influence over them,” and also because they are “stupid.” One woman opined that race relations in Alabama had been absolutely fantastic from the 1980s up until Obama was elected, which does not exactly sound like a thing that was true for the black people living there.

Another woman wondered why it is that they wanted all the immigrants to steal their jobs, and why they wanted babies to be aborted at 9 months (which, shockingly, is not a thing).

Lord help us all.

THIS IS NOW YOUR OPEN THREAD!

[Vice News]

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    • SayItWithWookies

      Now tell Jesus what you did to provoke the nice man.

    • Daniel

      Suffer the little children to come unto him, that the wealthy might have their taxes broken.

    • “I think you should lose your job and your friends and be harassed day and night by thousands of howling conservatives. Also, why didn’t you come forward sooner?”

  • therblig

    you know, we could all get used to an american flag with 49 stars on it.

    • willi0000000

      nope! . . . send all the asshole racists and folks OK with child molestation to a small (3ft²) island but we keep the land and the good people.

      • Someone needs to dig up uranium from our national monuments with their bare hands.

        • willi0000000

          i’d be happy to just have them pick out the radioactive sand grains at the Trinity site . . . don’t really want them anywhere near a national monument . . . they’ll just sell it.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Nah, keep the 50. Do a swap that sends Puerto Ricans to Alabama and these hicks to Puerto Rico.

  • jaspersdad

    The first rule of Dunning-Krueger club is not knowing you’re in Dunning-Krueger club.

    • Duke

      It’s an amazing millieu. Saying “you don’t understand” elicits an immediate “no, you don’t” and then they’ll repeat their superficial understanding. This will be done forcefully and repetitively as their limited understanding reinforces their certainty. On the interwebz, that means ALL CAPS and MORE ALL CAPS.

      • Ill-Advised

        And utterly non-ironic spelling errors, also.

    • jesterpunk
    • Ellie

      A lot of people don’t know that.

    • onedollarjuana

      Which appears to have been a Pyrrhic victory.

      • Daniel

        The most Pyrrhic victory ever believe me! You stupid liberals think we don’t no what that means but we do Trump is make America Great Again and that’s pyrrhical FACT!
        !!!!!!!!!!1!!!
        MAGA!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “…in hopes of giving us all some insight into the minds of these disturbed voters.”

    Spoiler: their minds are full of bees and spiders. You might poke your eyes out. Wait till your father gets home.

  • Spurning Beer

    Racist is as racist does, my momma always said.

  • shastakoala

    They may have been born just poor white trash. Nah, poor white trash have More class.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They also believe that Doug Jones was born a poor black child. The jerks.

      • Phried Ω

        I bet they hate the cans too.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Maybe if we tell them that Tuesday is phone book day, they’ll stay home…

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        ISWYDT

    • Some of them probably were, but this level of depraved ignorance takes years of effort to perfect.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just saw this. And last night, this fucking easily checked lie from The Fucking Moron. “Today black home ownership is the highest in the history of our country.”

    [CSPAN
    DECEMBER 8, 2017
    Trump Lies About Black Homeownership

    President Trump claims African American home ownership is at record high when it’s fallen to lowest level since 1970s. Today it’s at 42%.]

    And he stands there proudly proclaiming, screaming a fucking lie and claims the ‘great and historic accomplishment’ (that doesn’t exist) as his own. Calling him a brain addled, flim-flam snake oil salesman would be an insult to brain addled, flim-flam snake oil salesmen. This is bizarroworld. Words just fail.

    https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4697295/trump-lies-black-homeownership

  • Michael R
  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Roy Moore Supporters Just Dunning-Kruegered The Hell Out Of This Focus Group”

    “Let me tell you about my mother!”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/08c6d4c79264dba32483306c27ffb71fe5eb25f044fb5a8466202c8b1906bab6.jpg
    Oops, wrong hyphenated test.

    • TJ Barke

      You see a McConnell on his back…
      A what?
      Know what a turtle is?
      Yeah…
      Same thing…

      • james crubb

        How come you’re not helping it?
        Because I hate the fuck.

        • Daniel

          Do Androids Scream At Dyspeptic Tweets?

    • therblig

      let me tell you about my date’s mother. she’s 22.

  • jesterpunk

    I love how when Trump wins everyone rushes to interview Trump supporters to see why they are so sad and “economically anxious”. Remember when Obama won how they interviewed liberals? Wait no because that didnt happen, they interviewed conservatives to see why they where so sad and “economically anxious”.

    • SterWonk

      “wins”, also too, since fewer people voted for him.

      While we’re at it: Republicans Have Lost Touch with Blue America. Which is kind of important, because that’s where most Americans live.

      Democrats win the land where the people are; Republicans win the people where the land is.

      • jesterpunk

        Which explains the voter suppression and gerrymandering.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Wow that is a diverse crowd! One of those white folks looks under 55!

  • lucidamente

    “Forty years ago in Alabama, we all used to go to Roman Polanski double features at the Gadsden Cineplex.”

  • Iron Monkey

    Forty years ago in Alabama, there’s a lotta Mamas and Daddies that’d be thrilled that their 14-year-old was getting hit on by a district attorney.”

    If an Assistant State’s Attorney in Chicago hit on 14 year old girl, her momma and daddy would have beat his ass. At least.

    • willi0000000

      something tells me, if that happened anyplace civilized, the AG’s body would be found in six dumpsters . . . in five states!

    • Syd Webb

      I think Moore talks in terms of “Ask their mother” never “Ask their father”. As I unerstand it Moore preyed mostly on children from broken homes.

  • mrFawkes

    After solving the why we vote for Roy Moore problem, the panel then addressed an even bigger conern– the men who tell women “please stop sucking my dick.”

  • jesterpunk

    I bet those Alabama Mamas and Daddies loved when the DA hit on their daughters during their custody hearings.

    • Resistor Radio

      As long as it’s over the clothes it’s okay (according to that one lady and all the people that nodded)

      • sigyn

        Had she said that in my presence, it would have been impossible for me to not reach out and honk one of her boobies. Over the clothes, ok?

        My literal-mindedness has gotten me kicked out of way classier places than Alabama.

        • FlownΩver

          Are there places not way classier?

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’ve no doubt he was thinking “She’s from a broken home — nobody’s gonna believe her anyway.”

      • Also broken home residents are often more desperate, and can be exploited or bullied more easily.

  • OrG

    Stop interviewing these half-wits(generous,I know). I don’t fucking care what they think.

    • TJ Barke

      Quarter wits at best.

      • Nockular cavity

        We should probably switch to discussing them using milliwits.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Nanowits

          • willi0000000

            do i hear attowits?

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Femtowits

        • TJ Barke

          Milliwits and Kiloderps.

          • Ill-Advised

            Angstromwits it’s just to hard to say. I’m going with you guys.

    • mailman27

      Seriously. I think I’ve heard just about enough from these “folks” in the last 300+ days to last me the rest of mine. They can truly FOAD. With votes.

    • Resistor Radio

      That’s my general view as well, but I’m glad I saw that focus group. Reminded me of what we’re up against.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump goes all in with Roy Moore. Trump has agreed to record a robocall for Moore ahead of Tuesday’s election. And this just hours after leaving the civil rights museum. He’s back to promoting a man who said America was GREAT when we had slavery.

    [Trump to cut robocall for Moore
    By ALEX ISENSTADT 12/09/2017 03:45 PM EST

    MOBILE, Ala. — Donald Trump has agreed to record a robocall for Alabama Republican Roy Moore ahead of next week’s special election, the president’s most direct involvement in Alabama on behalf of the embattled candidate to date.]

    https://www.politico.com/story/2017/12/09/trump-roy-moore-robocall-288636

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      But Obama was the REAL racist.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      will it be a 19-minute robocall where Trump mentions hillary more than Roy Moore?

      • Suttree

        If you answer the call you are automatically sent a 3’x4′ historic electoral map.

      • willi0000000

        moore won’t even be mentioned . . . t’Rump will self-reference the whole 19 minutes.

  • Spurning Beer

    My family moved to Montgomery (from Taxachusetts!) in 1966, when I was 13. I have to admit, I thought the 14-year old girls were pretty hot.

    The racism was astounding to me. Still, there are decent people in Alabama.

    I guess.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • WilbyToad

    I’m not suggesting anything as ludicrous as building a wall around Alabama. A flaming moat would suffice.

  • memzilla Ω

    Oh look, all these racists forgot the “economic anxiety” excuse for their racism.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    It’s true! Black voters in Alabama, you are obviously idiots for not choosing the pedo that declared things were greatest when black people were slaves. GET A EDUCATION. On the other hand . . . eggheads are the worst and science has only brought us dumb theories about evolution and global warming, so???
    Anyways ROY MOORE!!!!🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾

  • WomanInThePersistence

    “We’ll try to stay serene and calm
    when Alabama gets the bomb.”

    I love Tom Lehrer

    • Ellie

      So do I. In fact, I’ve been singing “We’ll all go together when we go, since November 2016.”

      • wait! what?

        I still say the rapture happened when John Lennon died. “Imagine there’s no people” was a dead giveaway…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        All too many of his songs are a little too prescient.

        • Ellie

          Very true. I’m rather glad that he often also wrote silliness like “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park.”

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I adore “Alma”. She didnt even use Ponds, yet she bagged Gustav and Walter and Franz.

  • Dear Lord, these “people” are terrible

    • shastakoala

      They’re misguided. A lot!!!

    • PubOption

      Oh brave, new world, that has such “people”in it.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Ahem. *Those* people…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Private War: Erik Prince Has His Eye On Afghanistan’s Rare Metals

    BuzzFeed News is publishing the slide presentation by the founder of Blackwater to privatize the Afghan war and mine Afghanistan’s valuable minerals. He pitched the proposal to the Trump administration. Prince told BuzzFeed News, “You’re a fucking hack.”

    Posted on December 7, 2017, at 2:29 p.m.
    Aram Roston
    Aram Roston
    BuzzFeed News Reporter

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/aramroston/private-war-erik-prince-has-his-eye-on-afghanistans-rare?utm_term=.seVD8Owll#.qi5VXN7GG

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    • wait! what?

      Okay, but that’s how we got Godzilla.

      • FlownΩver

        Hmmm… Godzilla… Roy Moore… Godzilla… Roy Moore…

        I’ll go with the larger of the lizards.

  • Resistor Radio

    I’ve been so busy open threading all over the other posts that I’ve run out of things to say.

    The Ox-Bow Incident is on TCM right now, I’m not a big fan of westerns, but this is a good one. With Henry Fonda!

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      And Harry Morgan.
      And Dana Andrews.
      And Anthony Quinn.
      And Mary Beth Hughes.

      Great movie. Love it.

      • wait! what?

        It’s probably the start of another “they’re all dead” marathon.

  • Suttree

    Go fuck yourself Frank. You are a part of the reason that we are here right now. You helped make people vote for keywords and not substance. These people are the fruit of your labor.

    • Every once in a while, Luntz seems horrified by what he’s accomplished.

      • Suttree

        I sure hope he is, but I doubt he feels shame.

        • Spurning Beer

          I think that all people who wear a toupee feel shame.

      • Nockular cavity

        Aw, really? Gosh, well, in that case: fuck ‘im.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Not nearly often enough.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Frank Kuntz

  • jesterpunk

    Are we still supposed to reach out to these people to understand their “economic anxiety”?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Yeah, and put our own very real concerns aside for them.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      It seems to be a very dark anxiety…

      • jesterpunk

        I did Nazi that coming.

    • natoslug

      No. Absofuckinglutely not.

    • eyelashviper

      Reach out and ship them to FEMA camp, Walmart Tunnels, or hand them over to the first aliens who land.

      • jesterpunk

        Do we really want to give them to aliens? Any civilization that can travel here has the technology to destroy the earth.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Nah…they can feel the titty and see how tough it is. They choose to never move, never grow, never adapt, never evolve, because that’s they way it’s been and they expect it to stay that way. Well, the blanket factory up and moved to china, and Grovers Corners is a shithole and will never be any better…

    • FlownΩver

      They can get anxious about my dollars. There are still forty-nine acceptable states (relatively speaking, anyway) to visit/spend.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Bill D. Burger
    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Quick thought: A Bullwinkle nativity scene would be amazing.

    • Alternative Dog

      I would have expected at least one of the wise moose to arrive bearing hockey skates.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I want that!

    • Stranded Devonian Lungfish

      WANT.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Fake news! That’s a display of the Moose Limb Brotherhood! No, realli!

      • Alternative Dog

        Ouch!

    • GoutMachine

      A Møøse once bit my sister

      • I confess, my sister bit that møøse years ago, when we were kids. He has been seeking revenge ever since.

  • CATMAN

    I was waiting for Luntz to ask the woman who said because she was a Christian, she could forgive Moore, if she could forgive Hillary–it didn’t happen but it sure would have been interesting

    • Khavrinen

      No, see, forgiving Moore it “the Christian thing to do” and forgiving HRC would be succumbing to pure evil, because…
      um..

      No, wait, it’ll come to me…

  • bupkus231

    Haven’t yet gotten beyond this in Robyn’s piece:

    “…a Roy Moore supporter focus group, moderated by Republican pollster Frank Luntz, in hopes of giving us all some insight into the minds of these disturbed voters.”

    No, no, no. “Education” is never in the forefront of a Frank Luntz ficus group – it’s all about normalizing the crazee! The only “insight” into these people is that they have no “insight”!

  • One man’s answer, perhaps ironically, was that “Because they listen to people that have influence over them,” and also because they are “stupid.”

    Help me out here. How, again, do Republicans justify their assertion that Black folks are brainwashed to stay on the Democratic plantation? Has there EVER been a Republican policy platform that didn’t begin and end with genocide?
    ~~~

    • CATMAN

      Ya gotta look out for those outside agitators stirring up the black folks

    • Resistor Radio

      The republicans were the party of unicorns and happiness until Obama came along and invented racism.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Until April of 1865, they were pretty okay on that position. They have gone pretty spectacularly downhill since then.

    • “How, again, do Republicans justify their assertion that Black folks are brainwashed to stay on the Democratic plantation?”

      Funnily enough, the real asshole type of Bernie-bro said PRECISELY that about how Hillz won the Southern Dem primaries.

  • I am making Mexican drinking chocolate in my slow cooker. It’s taking too long to melt the chocolate

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I’m making vegetable beef soup. :-)

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        I got a rock.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          I hope it doesn’t pee on your carpet.

          • Resistor Radio

            (Unless you’re into that kinda thing)

          • JustDon’tSayProbably

            NTTAWWT

          • Resistor Radio

            You might wanna avoid it while staying at the Ritz-Carlton in Russia, though.
            (And yay, you just taught me a new internet acronym!)

        • Resistor Radio

          I think we have a few months before the bombs start dropping and then we’ll all be having rock soup.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Yay NAFTA!

    • Sounds like you should have used the fast cooker, then.

    • Vel Venturi

      About to start a batch of chicken tagine in mine.

    • Resistor Radio

      Taking jobs from hard working American drinking chocolate.

    • puredog

      plug it in to 240V.

    • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

      Turn it up to 11.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Slow does it right

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Put it in the fast cooker.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      What is this beverage you speak of? Does it have booze?

    • Ill_Used_Floppy_Disk

      I made butter chicken in my slow cooker yesterday. The house smelt wonderful for the entire 6 hours.

  • Michael R

    We know we already know this due to our superiority ,
    but we’ll go over it for Mrs. Kreuger , who is just joining us .

    Dunning-Krueger
    In the field of psychology, the Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias wherein people of low ability suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their cognitive ability as greater than it is.

    • UpstateNYObserver

      Trump and all Trumpists fit that definition to a “T”

    • Resistor Radio

      Versus bright and thoughtful liberal arts majors, constantly wracked by crippling self-doubt. Guess which type is more likely to run for office?

    • wait! what?

      As opposed to Diane Kruger who is an amazing actress. She was phenomenal in “The Bridge.”

    • HogeyeGrex

      AKA: Too fucking stupid to even see how fucking stupid they are.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Too many fancy words. Tighten that up to: “Idiots don’t think they’re idiots.”

  • UpstateNYObserver

    White folk from Alabama have always had a very tenuous grasp of reality. This focus group proved that beyond a shadow of doubt. If I were an international business seeking to locate in the U.S. the idiocy and stupidity and just plain evil displayed by this group of inbreds would ensure I looked only in places AT LEAST 1,000 miles from these assholes.

    • Resistor Radio

      Nah, I’d drop my minimum-wage, environmentally disastrous plant right in the middle of that state, they’d probably bribe me with super sweet tax cuts and look the other way as I kill my workers with lax safety precautions. If I were a sociopathic international businessman, that is.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        What’s that, you say? I can dump my cadmium waste water into the river and emit phosgene out of the stacks? Where do I sign up, man!? Where?!

      • Ill-Advised

        We are interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
        –GOP voters

    • CATMAN

      The Germans didn’t seem to have a problem with putting a Mercedes plant there

      • UpstateNYObserver

        That will be interesting to watch, keeping Mercedes quality at the level that it is amongst the stupid.

        • HogeyeGrex

          I know a guy that had to lemon law a Merc recently. Had unfixable problems.

      • mike stone

        Mercedes was an active participant in supporting Hitler in Germany. I would not trust their judgment on anything and I certainly would not buy their overpriced products. They have created a status symbol image but their vehicles are do not have quality equivalent to toyota and honda products. I would even buy a GM before a merc.

    • Phried Ω

      They work without union representation and with massive tax breaks and free infrastructure. That’s good enough for muliniationals.

      • UpstateNYObserver

        Even they have a limit on stupid. Stupid costs mount up. Alabama seems to have cornered the market on stupid these days.

        • Phried Ω

          That sound like a challenge to MS, TX, FL ad nauseam.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            my city is one trying to get Amazon’s HQ2 or whatever….sigh…

          • Bad Tom

            So is mine. Also, sigh.

        • puredog

          Ask me about that on Wednesday.

    • bupkus231

      The only problem with that statement is that the same “tenuous grasp of reality” is shared by just about any “focus group” of Americans ( and not just white Americans ) you see reported on. You can gather any group of Americans on any subject, and find just as many clueless assholes.

      The whole “focus group” concept seems flawed – I always thought it was intended to dig deeper into a sample that reflected statistically significant “attitudes”. Instead, it appears mostly to be a tool to attempt to legitimize anything at all you want it to.

      One really does have to wonder at Frank Luntz’s use of these groups – for a guy famous for having coined “death taxes” vice “estate taxes”, a guy famous for being a Republican tool, one cannot help but wonder if he has lost his marbles…

    • LosFelizGuy

      I dunno. Seems like the perfect(?) place to open up shop. The dumber the laborer the easier to manipulate I would assume.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        It depends on whether you’re making a Mercedes or a bucket.

  • Anna Bender

    what an unattractive bunch, inside and out.

  • Picabo
    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      I FUCKING KNEW IT!

      I mentioned to my brother how stacked up the people seemed to be at that fucking rally and told him the place was probably only half full.

      I was being generous.

      • HogeyeGrex

        There is another pic that shows the place reasonably full. Still, filling a 10-15k seat room in the heart of your base area is a low fucking bar for a sitting President. To consider it any sort of accomplishment is silly.
        What do you think? Could Obama fill the Meadowlands at the drop of a hat even still? Hell, I’d bet Carter could fill a bigger room.

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Obama could call for a rally at 9 a.m. Monday morning and the line would be out the door by noon.

          • Ill-Advised

            On the prior Saturday.

    • bupkus231

      In a forum I used to participate in, there was a retired Navy Captain who shared stories from the “Redneck Riveria” – particularly doin’s at the annual Mullet Toss ( the fish, not the haircut ).

      • Phried Ω

        How do tell the projectiles from the athletes apart?

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          The fish smell less. Heyo!

          • Arolpin

            I was going to go with the fish are smarter, but I like your answer better.

          • Shouldn’t that be “the fish smell fewer“?

            I always have trouble with that.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Forty years ago in Alabama, it was still illegal for an adult to molest a fourteen-year-old. And an Assistant DA would’ve known that.

  • WilbyToad

    Sean Hannity claims former President Obama has a ‘twisted’ obsession with President Trump
    INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS TIMES
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/sean-hannity-claims-former-president-obama-has-a-twisted-obsession-with-president-trump/

    Sharpen your nails. I want to see some fur fly.

    • bupkus231

      I’d rather see some Hannity fly ( in pieces, preferably )

      • Resistor Radio

        A hundred pieces. I mean a hundred votes.

    • Resistor Radio
      • Non-Threatening Ron

        How incredibly apropos. (I know what’s on that projector.)

        • JustDon’tSayProbably

          Oh yeah! “Please don’t kill Larry!”

        • Resistor Radio

          Honestly I forgot what I pulled that from, is it Wizards?

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Eyup.

    • BadKitty904
    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      And if there’s anyone who knows more about sick, twisted obsessions …

    • WomanInThePersistence

      He’s just plain bonkers. Hannity, I mean.

    • CATMAN

      Nothing like Hannity’s sick twisted love affair with Trump where Sean gives Donny a verbal tongue bath every night

    • Khavrinen

      Yeah, it’s just obvious that Obama is obsessed with Trump. You can tell just by looking at all the time he spends tweeting about him.

      Oh, wait…

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      ‘Mr. Hannity? The IMAX people called again.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Targeting a vulnerable teenager at her own custody hearing is grooming not flirting.

    These people are fucking evil.

    • Alternative Dog

      Predators know how to spot the vulnerable ones.

  • BadKitty904
  • SeeTrainOffTheRails

    Saw this clicking on WilbyToad’s Hannity link.

    WHY? DID? I? CLICK? ON? THIS?

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/is-it-possible-to-have-sex-with-a-ghost/

  • jesterpunk

    Wasn’t someone complaining about using the FBI to attack political opponents?

    http://www.newsweek.com/new-york-governor-andrew-cuomos-office-defends-hiring-practices-amid-fbi-probe-743427

    The office of New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo defended its hiring practices after facing scrutiny from the FBI on Friday.

    Cuomo’s office dismissed an investigation that the governor’s practice of hiring individuals to work in his office but paying them via state agencies and public authorities, the Albany Times Union reported on Friday.

    The FBI is currently looking at letters that agencies and authorities submitted to the governor’s office about new hires. Cuomo spokesman Rich Azzopardi said the administration received a subpoena for documents over a month ago and is cooperating. The staffing method goes back decades, and has been practiced by past New York governors, presidents from both parties and the U.S Department of Justice, according to Azzopardi.

    “In this environment, anyone can ask about anything,” Azzopardi said. “Given that the federal Department of Justice and the White House have a long history of utilizing this practice, perhaps the FBI can investigate them when this is charade is over.”

    An FBI spokeswoman told the Albany Times Union she could not confirm or deny the existence of an investigation.

    Cuomo is seeking a third term as governor next year and is considered a potential White House contender in 2020.

  • Impatient

    I’m just lazy enough to ask summa youse history geniuses for help.

    HISTORY QUESTION: Are Putin/tRump’s fascists tightly, not randomly,  related to the insane destabilizing moves in the Middle East? (Can the History Channel be trusted? And will I regain the confidence to ever go outside again?)

    Hitler’s plain old Nazi-type fascists helped encourage/train Jew-hating Grand Mufti Amin al-Husseini.  And Nazi Werewolf operation star,  of early guerilla war/terrorism,  Otto Skorzeny,  survived after WW II, and escaped.  And the two directly aided/trained guys for folks like Nasser and Arafat.  So German and other fascists directly fed into ongoing  mideast schisms/terrorism?  (Would the next installment show how the Israeli Mossad exists as a very tough/harsh counter to continued fascist assaults on Israel?)

    Am I … (1) Full of shit? … (2) Naively unaware of obvious history? … OR, (3) IF TRUE, reasonably considering how to get my groceries … and everything else … by home delivery?

    Thoughts?  Like wars … US Civil, or World … never really ended anything at all?  War accomplishes little or nothing?  Shit. I need to start humming an earworm.

    • Resistor Radio

      I have no proof or knowledge but I suspect Putin has a hand in the rise of Isis, as a destabilizing force.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He got a huge assist from the deserting coward and Darth Cheney, who set the stage for the rise of Daesh.

    • And will I regain the confidence to ever go outside again?

      Yeah, don’t ever read the Wiki page on rampage killers. I’m not even linking to it.

      Are Putin/tRump’s fascists tightly, not randomly, related to the insane destabilizing moves in the Middle East?

      Well, I’m SURE that there’s a straight line between him and Easter Europe going full fascist.
      ~~~

      • Arolpin

        If they would confine themselves to only going fascist on Easter, it would be a lot easier to deal with. They kind of want to make it an everyday thing, which is at least 365 times as bad.

    • Alternative Dog

      I don’t think it is so much a carefully orchestrated plot but rather the natural outcome of wealthy and powerful sociopaths seeking to exploit any opportunity to advance their own self interests. They are always looking for areas that are unstable and vulnerable because those situations are ripe for exploitation.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        that’s it — they don’t control the world, but they do an awful lot to shape what happens in it

      • Impatient

        Wouldn’t have thought it’s a centralized plan. Just scary how such interest create such a long and consistent arc of history. Makes one wonder if (A) schools should teach ACTUAL history, not just pablum, or (B) we shouldn’t allow study of such a horror, by minors, at all.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’d say the fucked-up situation in the Middle East has less to do with Skorzeny and more to do with the carving up of the Ottoman Empire and the Balfour Declaration. The first resulted in untenable states that broke up traditional tribal boundaries, requiring militarists and autocrats to hold together; and the second — born out of British anti-Semitism — was a ploy to kick the Jews out of Europe and to hasten the Second Coming. Out of the meddlesome desires of powerful nations with ignorant leaders such strife is born.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      All roads lead to the Reich, mein freund. Which in turn leads back to WW1, and then the murders began.

      • Impatient

        It amazed me, when I heard a concise statement of the conditions of the Treaty of Versailles, that it might as well have said, “We’ll do this again in a couple decades.”

  • alpacapunchbowl

    #metoo #notafunthingtobealoneon
    Thank you, Robyn. Seriously.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    In this video: The Dunning down of America.

  • BadKitty904

    An interesting insight into the “minds” of cultists. Very Jim Jones, very Jonestown…

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      I sense a new market for a Flavor-Aide franchise!

      • BadKitty904

        The sooner, the better.

    • grindstone

      Funny how even my kid’s generation knows about that. It was an iconic, albeit horrific, event in our country’s recent history.

      (Sidebar…..hey Ivanka, that’s a better use of “albeit”.)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Not interested in hearing what they have to say. If I want to listen to an asshole, I’ll fart.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Alabama: The first state of the U.S.A alphabetically, the last state in pretty much everything else.

  • eyelashviper

    It’s just an updated Deliverance crew, just not in the woods.
    “Forty years ago in Alabamy, we married our 14 year old cousins, got a barrel of moonshine, and celebrated by having our way with the hound dogs and barnyard critters…”

    • Resistor Radio

      “…and blacks knew their place.”

      • eyelashviper

        Slaves were happy folk, never had to worry about room and board and sending the kids to Kollege.

        • nightmoth

          I was TAUGHT that in a Georgia high school in 1965. I knew it was bullshit, though. Maybe some people are just born bullshit-detector challenged.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    His grandmother had 2 children at 15 and a job . WTF did grandpa do? Sex slave trader? These people are ret**ded.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      My grandma had 9 at 40. So he can shut up.

    • nightmoth

      Here’s the thing: I have poor Southern whites in my family tree as well. Baby at 14? Check. Married at 15? Check. Widowed at 18? Check. But those women in my family tree were unhappy! Things did not go well for them! They had hard fucking lives and were robbed of any childhood! Maybe this asshole should have asked his grandma what her life was like for her, instead of putting his own shiny ignorant gloss on it.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “Dammit Cletus, I din’ know she were only 14!”

    “Now you lissen here, Jim Bob – that jes’ ain’t gonna fly! You know how old she is – she’s yor sister!”

    • bupkus231

      Ha! Doesn’t necessarily mean Jim Bob knows how old she is – he just might not be able to count that high…

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Not since the chainsaw accident.

    • tehbaddr

      Now wait a minute son, you say you’re marryin’ a virgin? Well hell boy! If she ain’t good enough for her own family, we don’t want nothin’ to do with her!

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Frank Luntz, of course, is an odious, reactionary, creepy little man and Koch operative, who has been moving “focus groups” into the territory of right-wing madness for several decades. He comes up with phrases like “death tax” and “partial birth abortion” to create a dangerously sentimental, and deeply misleading context for some of the most vicious and ruinous right-wing legislative initiatives.

    Currently he gets a fairly handsome paycheck from (among others) CBS for doing this kind of garbage: push polling with a Vaselined lens.

    He’s an Orwellian little piece of work, this guy, and he appears to have gotten precisely the result he was paid to get from this group—to create a “rationale” that will allow people to shrug it off, and say, oh well, that’s just how it was in Alabama back in Those Days, and there sure was something fishy about all those Women showing up just when they did….. .

  • JMP

    “One woman opined that race relations in Alabama had been absolutely fantastic from the 1980s up until Obama was elected”

    When a white Alabaman brother-fucker say that, what she means is that the black people weren’t being all uppity, demanding to be treated as equal and complaining about what a racist pile of shit cracker she is.

    • Gosala

      Yep, then that awful black man came along and insisted on being black and upset the apple cart.

    • In the 1980s it was “morning in America” for crackers…

    • eyelashviper

      Those Bamy folk never got over seeing a BLACK family in the WHITE House…
      They would vote for Charlie Manson if he ran against a Dem.

      • Khavrinen

        Too late.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Why, I say — until that Obama was elected, I ain’t never heard one black cabbie who I stiffed ever say to me, ‘Hey, this is wrong.’ Now it’s all gone to hell.”

  • Arolpin

    Posted this on the previous thread, because I’m a libtard who didn’t check if there was a real open thread.
    OK, snow tires placed on my car, taught my kids the basics of changing a tire, only put one tire on the wrong side, and from start to finish took about 45 minutes. Cleaned up, took a quick test-drive in the snow to make sure I didn’t mess it up, put the summer tires in the basement.
    Then I used up almost all of the leftover turkey making enchiladas, and even made enough to cook and throw in the freezer for easy meals when we don’t feel like cooking. I think I deserve a beer. Or two.
    (edited to fix weird LF/CR issues)

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Yes. Yes you do.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      mmmmm enchiladas… arrrggghhhhhh

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Another upvote for teaching the kids tire-changing. It’s a useful skill that could be needed at any time, and not always when help is near.

    • DirtyHippyLiberal

      I had no idea “summer tires” were a thing. It’s going to be a long and educational winter for this transplanted Arizonian.

      • Gosala

        Depending where you live all weather tires are a good option for avoiding having to swap out every six months.

      • Arolpin

        Most people just run all-season tires year round. My car is basically a bonkers sports car pretending to be a rational hatchback. The stock tire choices are high-performance summer tires or ultra-high-performance track tires. They do offer a 2nd set of rims and snowtires as a factory option (first car to ever do this) but that would have cost me almost twice as much as buying them from Tire Rack.
        High-performance tires are generally not designed to be used below 40*, and can actually wear out MUCH faster if you use them in the cold.
        For Arizona, all-season tires are fine, though you would probably be better served with summer tires, because it’s not like you need the improved wet-weather performance that comes with all-season tires.

        I have not yet bought a 2nd set of tires/rims for my wife’s new truck, because it came with all-seasons, it’s AWD, and it shares the AWD system with Range Rover, so I’m assuming it will be fine. I’ll take the truck out tonight in the slop and verify, though I’ve already bought her all of her Christmas presents, and she probably wouldn’t think a set of tires and wheels would be much of a present. (I would think it’s awesome, though, and I really want a 3rd set of wheels with track-only tires, but I would have to tell her exactly what brand, model, variant, and size to get, and she would probably use my account, which means I’m paying for it anyway, so I’ll just wait until spring and do it myself).

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    I have no idea why this just occurred to me. (I’m listening to ‘The Firebird,’ so maybe my brain is actually functioning.) But that whole ‘forty years ago’ thing makes a kind of sense if these zero-information voters think it’s still 1900 in Alabama.

    • bupkus231

      I think I actually get your point. Even tho’ I’m now in my 60s, I still think my self-image is stuck in my college years ( somewhat – I can’t deny I fell like an oldz ).

      So, when someone says somtnhing happened “forty years ago”, my first thought is not that it happened in the 70s, but that it happened in the 30s…

      • Marion in Savannah

        So I’m not alone! Most of the time when I look in the mirror I wonder who on earth that old hag is.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Haven’t you see the signs at the border, “Now entering Alabama, please set your watch back 120 years”?

    • OutOfOrbit

      And they long for 1800… good times

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        It just tickles me that they all think they’d be aristocrats, when they’d just be landbound farmers or factory wage slaves.

  • BadKitty904

    In happier news, as it was cold and stormy today, we started our Christmas-cookie production-line early. Thirty dozen done and the house stinks of ginger, nutmeg, and cinnamon.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW8bFxCK__E

    • Frank Luntz suggests you replace “stinks” with “is redolent with the odors of”..

      • BadKitty904

        Reeks of” is as far as I’ll go…

    • eyelashviper

      Love this, Murika needs some Maori Gingerbread Warriors.

      • BadKitty904

        Āe!!!

    • OutOfOrbit

      You! … are a mental case! 30 doz? Good doG

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      “and the house stinks of ginger, nutmeg, and cinnamon”

      I do not think that word means what you think it does.

    • Ill-Advised

      I’ll be over to help with Quality Control, as soon as the roast chicken has boiled off into soup.

  • Luntz has made a career out of dressing up stupid, and getting lunch pail voters to give it all up for billionaires. If there was a god (there is not, I’m even skeptical about the Spaghetti Monster) Luntz would have been struck by lightning just as a tree fell on him while a uncorn gored him. Alas, not.

    There are a handful of shysters who have “focus groped (sic)” Republican voters into shooting themselves in every one of their feet – Atwater, Rove, Luntz, Ailes, Breitbart, et al. I so, so wish there was an afterlife, just so these bastards would end up rotting in hell.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      As I noted elsewhere, Luntz gave us “death tax” and “partial birth abortion”—Big Lie stuff, very Orwellian.

      I too wish there was a real God and a real Hell. But clearly, the right-wingers are gigglingly glad that neither exists.

      • Impatient

        And the ACA’s Ram, Cram, Slam, Jam litany? (Though we DID get to enjoy Boehner’s tears, along the way.)

        Can we break Doc’s rules in Luntz’s case. ‘On Beyond Devil’ ?

  • tehbaddr

    Pedophile should be locked up, not elected to the senate!

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Oh, the righteous rage, it is rising mmmmmm

  • WilbyToad

    WATCH: Fox News anchor swats down Sheriff David Clarke for disrespecting Rep. John Lewis

    Controversial right-wing former Sheriff David Clarke got more than he bargained for when he tried to cast aspersions against the character and record of civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis (D-GA).

    According to Mediaite.com, “Fox and Friends” weekend host Eboni Williams — who got her undergraduate degree in Communications and African-American studies before going on to graduate from Loyola University law school — decided not to let Clarke’s talking points go by uncontested.

    by DAVID FERGUSON / RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/watch-fox-news-anchor-swats-down-sheriff-david-clarke-for-disrespecting-rep-john-lewis/
    This is priceless.

    • jesterpunk

      Fox will fire her in 5..4…3…2….

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      BREAKING NEWS: Fox Hired Someone With An Education

      • amrak63

        Some Human Resources operative is gonna get fired for THAT mistake.

      • Eileen Besse

        Kinda sorta….

    • bupkus231

      YAY, Eboni Williams!!!

      Daid Clarke is typical of the rightwing mindset that whatever they say goes – and the fact that this Fox News commentator challenged his ass on his diminuation of John Lewis’s renown AND courage ( both back then AND now ) gives me a little bit of hope.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Except for she didn’t hit back when he brought up Republicans and the Civil Rights Act, something which she could have pointed out, Clarke and his ilk have been chipping away at since the day it was signed.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Baby steps…

  • None of this can be reality, can it? Is Alabama just a state-sized art installation?

    • tehbaddr

      It’s real life hillbilly mondo exploitation on a grand scale!

    • eyelashviper

      I have avoided watching that video,…it is just too painful.

      • therblig

        watched it once and cried.

        • eyelashviper

          I have always loved polar bears, their very shape and movement is just so perfect. Seeing them starving like this just breaks my heart.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Horrifying.

      Not that heartless assholes like Roy Moore voters give a fuck, mind you.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Love you, Pickwick, but on this one, it’s gotta be a no.

  • SeeTrainOffTheRails
    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Man, she’s scaly.

    • Miles Monroe

      Naw, that was just an attention span thing …

    • CATMAN

      Gonna print that and paste it inside my toilet to improve my aim

  • The Wanderer

    So far, a fairly productive day – I’ve avoided watching the news, and I’ve started making German Butter Cookies to be cooked tomorrow morning (the dough has to sit overnight in the fridge). The basic recipe is flavored with cinnamon and a half-cup of Riesling, but I punched the flavor profile up by adding a bit of nutmeg, ground clove and ground ginger.

    • And by adding the rest of the Riesling to your belleh?

      • The Wanderer

        (shifty look) Maybe. Riesling goes well with ham, and by eerie coincidence that’s what I’m making for Christmas dinner.

        • DirtyHippyLiberal

          There is nothing that Riesling does not go well with, IMHO.

          • The Wanderer

            This is a tasty Moselle Spaetlese, 2015 vintage. I’ve never made cookies with wine before.

    • Gosala

      My flight arrives at 5:38.

    • BadKitty904

      lol See below. Given the weather, today was apparently Xmas-Baking Day in Florida…

      • Eileen Besse

        Yup, “cold” weather will do that….

        • BadKitty904

          At least the kitchen is warm.

    • Charles Insandiego

      Ooh. Imma try these.
      “Cookies taste best after sitting one week.” According to one recipe. Do you know if/why this is true?

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        How did anyone ever find that out? That would require having cookies for a week and not eating them.

        • Charles Insandiego

          Yes, this is largely why I asked the question. Could it be worth the wait?

    • BrendaKay

      this sounds interesting! would you be willing to share recipe?

  • Robyn Ryan

    American barbarism.

    • Gosala

      American barbarism has come a long way since I was a lad. So of the cuts boys today are sporting…

      Oh, you meant… oops, never mind.

  • subatomic

    Can we please quit asking stupid people what the think?

    • Alternative Dog

      This!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Well, they vote.

      • subatomic

        And we will likely never change how they vote so it is pointless to ask why. Never try to have a discussion with an irrational person.

    • Thiazin Red

      There was an op ed in the Post the other day about that. That maybe we should stop jerking off rural white men and ask other voting groups what they think. Hell Clinton got three million more votes, and you don’t constantly see fawning profiles about her supporters.

    • tehbaddr

      Can we start with the presidental mishap?

    • JAKvirginia

      No. We can ask. Let’s stop pretending what they say has any worth.

  • King Beauregard

    Forty years ago was “The Dukes of Hazzard”. I used to watch the show, and try as I might, I can’t remember an episode where going after underage girls was a good thing. It was okay for a teenager to have a crush on Bo and Luke — who wouldn’t? — but the correct response was to let the girl down gently and have her look for boys in her own age group.

    Now Coy and Vance, there’s no telling what they’d do.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      That’s only because nobody ever watched those episodes, so nobody really knows. Could have been an hour long infomercial for Quiz Wiz for all we know.

      • King Beauregard

        By the way, if you can find any shows with James Best (Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane) in his youth … look, I’m a straight guy, but holy god he was a damn fine looking man. I’ve seen him in some “Andy Griffith”, “Have Gun – Will Travel”, and “Twilight Zone”.

        Here, have some young hot James Best, with some bonus William Schallert:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXLWolN3V1Q

        • Drinkalong

          Check him out in an old B&W movie ‘Attack of the Killer Shrews’. There’s also some fine absurdist dialog in it.

        • Jamoche

          I’ve seen him a few times on the retro channel – it’s always a case of “he looks vaguely familiar… imdb… whoa, that’s him?”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Although the show was set in the Deep South, it espoused good old, wholesome Hollywood values.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Are you saying that Uncle Jesse was a (((globalist)))?

  • The Dunning Kruger effect…

    Zero knowledge, 100% Confidence.
    http://www.howtogetyourownway.com/images/dunning_kruger_graph.jpg

    • SayItWithWookies

      Now I know where the Laffer Curve came from.

  • Thiazin Red

    Reba is apparently up for the role of my fictionalized aunt in the soon to be filmed adaptation of my uncle’s book.

  • johnnyknj

    Q: What does an Alabama girl say after sex?
    A: Get off me Pa, you’re crushin’ my smokes.

  • tehbaddr

    These people really scare me!

  • nightmoth

    It’s OT and I’m going to post a link to a horrible video the husband insisted I watch. I knew it would destroy me, and it did. He opined that just like the Allies forced German civilians to walk past the piles of bodies in the concentration camps, every human should force themselves to watch this. It’s preaching to the choir posting it at Wonkette, but if any of you have wasteful, over-consuming, climate-change denying family (I do) you’re welcome to send it on. (spoiler: it’s a dying polar bear)
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/starving-polar-bear-canada_us_5a2b1e5ae4b069ec48ad80f9?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • OutOfOrbit

      Thx for the trigger alert

    • but if any of you have wasteful, over-consuming family (I do)

      Or as an better, non-horrible alternative, just watch this on Netflix:
      https://occ-0-299-300.1.nflxso.net/art/5365d/b5061a4ffce73275c452bde4ad6174b6d515365d.jpg

      • nightmoth

        Thank you.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        There’s also Plastic Bag, a short-film documentary where the eponymous and personified subject curses its own immortality because it and others of its kind have killed everything in the world around it. Voice narration by the legendary Werner Herzog.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuJ31bu01mM

    • (((Sedagive)))

      I know. There are other films/photos (sea birds on distant islands slowly choking to death on plastic) that are equally horrific.

      Knowing this is happening right now kills my soul a little every day.

  • jesterpunk
  • Lamb Urgini
    • Thiazin Red

      Thats the most unenthusiastic birthday party ever.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      And thus the phrase “yeah…no” was born.

  • Rick Hill

    “Boy I love my little girl but if a DA was in her pants…well, that’s a whole ‘nuther story”

    Said no father, ever.

    • eyelashviper

      ‘cept those Bama daddies, and even the mommies…they love their
      Xtian rules that make saints out of lying pedophiles.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The fuck are we supposed to do? THe Republicans and billionaires runs shit and so far, they’re not interested in removing President Shithead.

      • CATMAN

        Of course they aren’t–they need him to sign the legislation cutting their taxes and fucking over the old, disabled and the poor, fulfilling a multigenerational conservative project

  • The Librarian

    That video was, well, I don’t really now to describe it. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me sad. Those are things that make a really good movie. Not so much when you’re talking about real life and the hypocrisy of all those “good” conservatives. That lady at the end got me when she stated if we didn’t vote “good” conservative principles, then we’re lost. Dear, you and your party lost your principles long ago and it’s why we’re in such a mess.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      I grew up in South Dakota in the 70s so I’m used to blithering, spittle-flecked cretins.

      • JustDon’tSayProbably

        Hey former neighbor! East or west river?

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          East- Soo Foo.
          That’s how you’d get folks riled up- throw into a conversation, “Russel Means”. Watch ’em shout and burn.

          • JustDon’tSayProbably

            R.C. me. Ahhh, the Banana Belt. Rapid Crick. The meat packing plant just upwind of the high school.
            Don’t miss it one bit.

          • Institute For Applied Despair

            Rapid’s way better than Slough Falls. On certain days the Morrell’s plant would burn carcasses and the stench would attach itself to your nostrils.
            We were made to tour Morrell’s in 8th grade, I believe as a means of convincing us to stay in school. Cannot unforget it. The sight, sound and smell of that…place…will forever be with me.

    • That lady at the end got me when she stated if we didn’t vote “good” conservative principles, then we’re lost. Dear, you and your party lost your principles long ago and it’s why we’re in such a mess.

      They’re LITERALLY like Moses wandering around in a desert for 40 years because they don’t want to stop and ask smart people for directions.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Like Moses, if Moses refused to stop at a convenience store to ask for directions because the person at the counter didn’t appear white.

  • BadKitty904

    I repeat – these people are Moore-ons…

  • Doug Langley

    Okay, I just got done cooking the turkey. It looks and smells wonderful. Give me half an hour and I’ll let you know how it turned out.

    • h4rr4r

      Thanksgiving was a couple weeks ago and Christmas isn’t for another couple weeks.

      • BadKitty904

        Perhaps Doug is celebrating his new job!

        • Doug Langley

          Gagg! Thanks for ruining my appetite.

          • BadKitty904

            Jeez, ya try to do a bud a solid…

      • Doug Langley

        But this is my first, and only, day off from work, I needed the time to work it out. I’ll be working 7 days a week for the next few weeks.

        • h4rr4r

          More power to you.

          Truthfully, we are having turkey tomorrow. They were too cheap to pass up.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        Doesn’t matter. Turkey is good whenever.

        • I cooked one once and froze the meat in individual sandwich sized portions, so yes indeedy

        • JustDon’tSayProbably

          I’m thinking of sous vide turkey breast for Xmas this year. Haven’t gone looking for recipes yet.

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails

            That sounds … (ST dies.)

          • JustDon’tSayProbably

            wait, is that good or bad dying?

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails

            The very best kind of death.

      • BrendaKay

        so… this is the perfect day to cook a turkey! Duh!

      • I thought the traditional “Christian” meal for Christmas was HAM because COUGH COUGH not Jewish like that there Jesus feller COUGH COUGH *

        * = But once again, seems to have pagan origins–the tradition is believed to have begun among the Germanic peoples as a tribute to Freyr, a god in Germanic paganism associated with boars (see Sonargöltr), harvest and fertility

        • h4rr4r

          We are going to have a ham because my parents are coming up and they would expect the rib roast to be well done.

          I am pretty sure Jesus is Catholic, most Mexicans are.

        • Marion in Savannah

          When I was a child it was always roast goose. Now we do ribs of beef, and have goose or duck on Epiphany. I don’t do ham — it’s all too salty for me.

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          We’d have ham on Christmas Eve, then sing Happy Birthday To Jesus.
          I’m crapping you negative.

  • Rick Hill

    To be honest, I think this guy’s behavior is on the order of needing his ass whooped by a father. Value of family, right there. To me, the much larger and troubling part is how he used his power then, and since, in the most self serving and abusive, way.

  • spangled

    the whole “obama invented racism” talking point on the right is deeply weird. they seem to think he was just always out there, calling people “cracker”?

    i can barely even remember a time he talked about race. the beer summit maybe? but that was hardly malcolm x type rhetoric. existing while being a black person is not “being divisive about race relations”

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Obama was uppity. He was a black man with an intact nuclear family and coherent speech patterns. And we can’t be having that kind of contrast

      • Bottom Line…

        They’re jealous of how he was all educated, hard-working, successful and had outstanding moral values.

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          Yep. Can’t have no black man making me feel like an underachieving, undeserving fucko.
          Therefore, Obama is a racist.

        • JustDon’tSayProbably

          “Show me on this self-esteem chart where he hurt you…”

          • Actually, they’re also suffering from overly high self esteem.

            Otherwise known as “being full of yourself”

        • Bad Tom

          Especially the outstanding moral values.
          That really frosted their shorts.

    • h4rr4r

      I think he called me a honkey one time.

      No really, racist slurs for white people don’t work.

      • Left Coast Tom

        He didn’t call you a “haole”?

        • h4rr4r

          Maybe that was it. Damn tricky Hawaiians.

          Either way it was a nice reminder, ah yes I should go do something that would get a minority arrested but will get me maybe a dirty look.

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        “Round eye” or “gaijin” always works.

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, takes me back to when we took over Asia either by colonialism or opium.

          Again, not super effective.

    • I never could get one Racist to answer this question:
      https://i.imgflip.com/20sqh1.jpg

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      There is no logic to their hatred of Obama. His only crime was in bringing race relations to the forefront, rather in the background where these racists could ignore it all. These sorts of claims are nothing but PURE White Fragility on display.

    • Gosala

      It’s nothing he said or did. It was who he is. Before Obama white people did not have to think about race. Therefore race was not a problem.

      Obama made it harder to ignore race. Therefore, the “thinking” goes, he must have caused the problem.

      The black perspective, I’m told, is a little different.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He gave a beautiful speech on race during his first campaign. He had me weeping.

  • Rick Hill

    Why is it important to have your daughter be the interest of the DA? Is it like having a “Get out of jail card” you can use if you or one of yours gets in trouble with the law?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Sacrificial lambs are always handy.

      • Rick Hill

        Mmmmm….lamb…..

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Yanno, I though somebody would latch on to the “handy” bit.

          • Rick Hill

            I like my perverted humor to be a little classier than and low key than walk into something like that….

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            I’ve always said that about you; classy as a clam in pants.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            YOU MONST- oh, never mind

          • Rick Hill
          • JustDon’tSayProbably

            JFC, you people are killing me…

        • gallbladder

          Pass the mint jelly, please.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            I hate mint jelly with lamb.

    • BrendaKay

      Hmmm. Yes, either a “get out of jail free” card, or maybe they just figure the girl would be set for life married to a guy with a government paycheck. I had a former co-worker tell me how she knew she had to get a government job since she couldn’t save for retirement…

    • Gosala

      It’s the old game of forging family alliances for the sake of power and influence.

  • gallbladder

    WaPo published an interesting story on the matter, observing the fact that the Moore/Jones race could be taken as a referendum on whether the state will choose to abandon its past, or carry on its current course in utter defiance of all things fucking sensible. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/bitter-senate-race-tests-alabamas-image-in-the-country–and-at-home/2017/12/09/314a63de-db7d-11e7-b1a8-62589434a581_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_alabama-236pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

  • If you are anything like us, or are just a
    normal human person who would not go out and vote an accused
    ephebophile into the United States Senate

    RELEVANT

  • WilbyToad

    Trump Says Mississippi Civil Rights Museum Records ‘Big Stuff’ At Opening

    As Trump gazed at an exhibit on Freedom Riders at the new Museum of Mississippi History and the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum, demonstrators near the site held up signs that said “Make America Civil Again” and “Lock Him Up.” Some shouted “No Trump, no hate, no KKK in the USA.”

    Trump spent about 30 minutes at the museums, gave a 10-minute speech to select guests inside and then flew back to his Florida estate, skipping the public schedule of the dedication ceremony held outside on a chilly day. He spent more time getting to Jackson than he did on the ground.

    by DARLENE SUPERVILLE / TPM
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-mississippi-civil-rights-museum-speech

    Well, he bespoiled that.

    • gallbladder

      In and out is all he knows. Well, mostly out.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Someone should have pointed out the photos of Rep. Lewis with a cracked skull and said “And here we have our only living CIVIL RIGHTS LEADER serving in Congress right now. You might remember Rep. Lewis? You certainly had enough to say about him”.

    • Gosala

      We don’t need no damn racist telling us what civil rights means in Mississippi.

      Chokwe Antar Lumumba, Mayor of Jackson, Mississippi. (Edited for clarity)

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The people who built the museum, with $90M in state funds, did nothing to engage the surrounding community, some members of which were apparently unaware that the thing was even opening. Article I read about it had one person wondering if they had that much money for a museum, why they couldn’t fix local schools, housing and infrastructure.

  • Michael R

    You should be thrilled your 14 year old is being hit on by a district attorney

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b825f43a3f31cdc7e47bfac4f6e9aec55df11dcadbf754d21bd878fc1e8e9faa.jpg

  • Thiazin Red

    My grandmother got married at 17, but at least she had finished high school and my grandfather was only 2 years older.

  • FULL ALABAMIAN DISCLOSURE DEPT.

    My Maw Maw married my Paw Paw when she was 14! He was 16. They rode around on matching motorcycles. Reportedly both of their families were appalled and remained appalled for many years.

    This was in small town Alabama in the early 1930. Again: everybody was appalled.

    We had Super8 home movies taken in the 1960s of them riding around on those old motorcycles.

    • nightmoth

      I’m glad they were happy. There were a couple of marriages at 15 in my North Carolina family during the same time frame, but things didn’t work out so well.

    • Thiazin Red

      That kind of sounds like it should be a movie.

    • Rick Hill

      Mrs Hill’s parents, her mother was around 14 when she married, I think her father is two years older. That was kind of an arranged thing, not certain how much money changed hands.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      What kinda mo’cycles?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    We need to burn their cities, salt their fields, and outlaw their monster truck rallies.

    • jesterpunk
      • Institute For Applied Despair

        “Fuck all y’all.”

        .William Tecumseh Sherman

    • nightmoth

      Don’t burn the cities! That’s where all Southern liberals move once they bust out of their rural Trumpanistans.

    • BadKitty904

      Whether we like it or not, Alabama is one of the 50 states that compose our Union. The problem isn’t so much “Alabama” – there are many wonderful Americans there – as a subset of Alabamians who, like a toxic virus, need to be prevented from infecting the body politic.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        To the Obama Time Machine then! This time we’ll either let them secede, or hang all of them as traitors after we win.

        • BadKitty904

          Certainly, more stringent solutions are required…

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    If Roy Moore was a banker, electrician, car salesman, whatever… this is creepy enough. That people are saying it’s great he used a position of public trust and authority to procure underage women… the defense isn’t as bad as the crime, but its veering in that direction

  • Walter Wellstone

    Oh, I saw that shit. Jesus Fucking Christ…

  • Jamoche

    https://www.thebeaverton.com/2017/12/autocorrect-nightmare-typo-bill-c-45-legalizes-cannibalism-instead-cannabis/
    Autocorrect nightmare: Typo in Bill C-45 legalizes cannibalism instead of cannabis

    So Canadian…

    “I think no one wanted to be the one to point out the error,” MP Sara Anderson said. “We all thought someone else would do it, and then they called the vote, and here we are, all voting to legalize cannibalism.”

    • Walter Wellstone

      OK, if cannibalism were legal, who would you eat and how would you cook them? Discuss.

      • JustDon’tSayProbably

        I’d be a little afraid of crossing the RfR, because of course you have dispatch the main course and break it down and such…

      • Jamoche

        Thin strips of Objectivist Jerky

        I really don’t know what you do about the “taxes are theft” crowd, except possibly enter a gambling pool regarding just how long after their no-tax utopia comes true that their generally white, generally entitled, generally soft and pudgy asses are turned into thin strips of Objectivist Jerky by the sort of pitiless sociopath who is actually prepped and ready to live in the world that logically follows these people’s fondest desires.

        • grindstone

          Story time. Me ex and a buddy once ran across a husband and wife out in the woods where they had set up a makeshift shooting range and were target practicing. They talked a bit, the couple were preppers. So my ex asked them if they cached food and water and how much, etc. No, the couple answered, just ammo. We’ll kill for anything we need.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      The Beaverton is like Canada’s version of The Onion. So, this is likely to be a Maple Borowitz. We all know Justin is tech-savvy enough not to rely on Clippy for spellcheck.

      What’s Tru is Tru, though — Ontario won’t sell weed at the LCBO, so Nova Scotia said hold my beer.

  • Left Coast Tom

    The conversation then moved to the fact
    that pretty much no black people in Alabama were going to vote for Roy
    Moore, and why that might be

    There don’t seem to be any people of color in that focus group, black, hispanic, asian, …

    • jesterpunk

      They have white people, orange people and pasty white people there.

      • amrak63

        Didn’t Foreigner do a song about them?

        “Pasty White Boy?”

        Oh, wait–“Dirty White Boy”. My bad.

        Incidentally, the girl on the album cover at the beginning looks like Roy Moore just entered the room.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26YBymheInI

    • BadKitty904

      Imagine that…

  • BadKitty904

    Just to help keep y’all’s holiday season weird…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPJWhoKh8M4

    • texcynical

      That’s pretty fucked up.

      • BadKitty904

        Surreally…

      • Miles Monroe

        Sick choreography, tho’!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      That was strangely difficult to stop watching.

    • gallbladder

      The fuck did I just watch?

      • BadKitty904

        An excerpt from the Pee-Wee Herman Xmas special. Which is pretty…unusual.

    • SDGeoff3

      I remember them.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      As seen on many, many, MANY TV shows.

      I will spare you their version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

      From The Golden Girls doing “Neutron Dance.”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhq7Viz_BZc

  • Alan

    Nope, no way in hell am I clicking on that.

  • Michael R

    In this Colbert asks Republican Lynn Westmoreland to name the
    Ten Commandments

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2w7wxt

  • Watermelonsugarbaby

    I am struck by this:

    “You know, because people are often paid by mysterious entities to falsely accuse politicians of things that there is nothing wrong with them having done.”

    I have heard this exact same dead serious argument from at least 50 very liberal friends in defense of Al Franken

    That every accuser of his was paid…

    When can we have a conversation about the outrageous hypocrisy of our party?

    It’s been fucking shameful.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      You mean about the fact that Tom Arnold tweeted that Leanne Tweeden was coached up by Roger Stone?

      • Watermelonsugarbaby

        Tom Arnold, a known liar and a dude that will do anything for publicity and he gets the benefit of the doubt from so-called liberals. Hmmmm. Why is that? he didn’t even spell Tweeden’s name right! But y’all just believe him. 👍🙄

        There have been 5 other accusers, 2 were from the Women’s Feminist Choir in Minnesota. But their just trying to take Al Franken down too, I guess?

        Tribalism is sickness.

    • h4rr4r

      Am I the only one that noticed the Bernie Bros seem to be the most likely to suggest these conspiracy theories?

      • Anna Rompage

        Which is kind of funny seeing that Franken fit right into that crowd…

        • h4rr4r

          Funny or expected?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Purity Ponies

        • h4rr4r

          Is there a difference?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Over at DKos I think it’s actually been a bit strange. I recognize Clinton and Sanders folks both saying this nonsense and pushing back against it.

      • Watermelonsugarbaby

        No, I think they will not give up on the idea that they were right and if everyone had just listened to them we would be just fine…

        • h4rr4r

          Considering it would have handed the election to the GOP on a silver platter I can’t understand that.

          Jones a man who prosecuted KKK members for a bombing that killed little girls is possibly going to lose to a twice disgraced former judge child molester. That is your voting public in this country.

    • Alan

      I’ve heard nobody say that.

    • amrak63

      Before we upvote this person, we might want to note that his/her/its (“its” in case it’s a Putinbot) list of sites includes the wingnut site “American Thinker”.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Thank you for the due diligence, Mr. Amrak.

      • Watermelonsugarbaby

        If you look at my commenting history I’m obviously a human liberal woman.

        You are biased.

      • Watermelonsugarbaby

        Do you think a Russian bot would come up with a Richard Braughtigan pun for a name and be an unabashed liberal?

        Hurr durr… cognitive dissonance must be Russian

    • bbayliss

      I’ve never heard that, I have had people wonder why Roger Stone knew in advance, and why people would insist on making a false equivalence in view of the different reactions by the two parties.
      And now I’m wondering what the hell your motive is that might reinforce my own bias.

      • Watermelonsugarbaby

        It’s hard to admit people we like and trust do disgusting things.

        This is from the article about the two women from the Feminist Choir Group that he groped during pictures:

        “Sexual harassment happens so often, you have to learn how to move on,” she said, describing her thinking at the time.

        Several other factors also left her feeling powerless.

        “I felt like I didn’t have a voice,” she said. “This man had all of the power, all of the authority. In addition, he is a white man and I am a woman of color. I was 21 years old. And I was afraid that he would use all of those privileges to discredit me, to make me feel even smaller than I already felt.”

        Today, she said, she feels more confident, in part thanks to the flood of women who have come forward over the last month to share stories of sexual harassment by powerful men.”

        The whole story: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/al-franken-two-more-women-groping_us_5a15a455e4b09650540ec295

    • Gosala

      tribalism… boy, I don’t know.

  • Anna Rompage

    Does this mean Alabama has just secured the spot as the future capital of Dumbfukistan?

    • jesterpunk

      Future capital?

    • Thiazin Red

      Mississippi libelz? Or let them fight?

      • Left Coast Tom

        If Jones wins Tuesday the capital goes to Mississippi. If the child molester wins, Alabama gets it.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    White people never cease to amaze me.

    • amrak63

      Me, too, and I’m one of them.

      • BadKitty904

        Ditto. Wth?

    • Gosala

      Hey! Learning to be white takes a long time. There’s a lot of compartmentalization to be mastered as well as double think, and rationalization.

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    Do none of these knuckle-dragging imbeciles remember the old adage “15 will get you 20”? You know, knock up a 15 year old and face 20 years in prison. Because that is THE FUCKING LAW. ANY sexual contact with ANYONE under the age of 16 is STATUTORY RAPE, you stupid fucking inbred monobrow paste-eating, window-licking hillbilly fucking MORONS.

    • Left Coast Tom

      In some states that would be 18, but I think AL is supposed to be 16. You’d think a former Alabama DA and State Supreme Court Justice would know such things.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        “Whut, me worry?”

    • SDGeoff3

      They can’t count that high, so the figures mean nothing to them.

      • Left Coast Tom

        All 10 fingers, then if you don’t have to take off both shoes keep your pants on.

    • Anna Rompage

      Not according to the higher law outlined in the Old Testament…

    • Prollynottoday

      Goes back a ways. Prolly long before Hammurabi. The only laws that matter are the ones that are enforced.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    As required on this sacred day, “Go Army, beat Navy.”

    Signing bonus never paid, year and a half without leave while OCONUS, fucked up shoulder and nerve issues… and I love you. They get us with that Stockholm syndrome thing :)

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Lord help us all.

    No. Lord help *them*. Ooooh, have y’all got a surprise comin’ from ol’ St Pete**. Wait, they won’t even get to see him, will they? The Elevator goes up or down, one trip to a customer.

    **I’m speaking as if I believed that shit. I don’t, but they do. And if they do all get raptured up to Hebbin? Fine with me. Then we can get this fucked-up world unfucked a little. Maybe a lot…

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Maybe their souls will be hoisted up to Heaven but their moronic dead-eyed carcasses will continue to plague us for all eternity.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        I was gonna say Soylent Green, but….Soylent Green is people.

  • Rick Hill

    There’s good people in Alabama…they’re the ones voting for Doug Jones.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      All 20 of them

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      He’s persona non grata. He put good ol’ boys in prison for expressing their economic anxiety. Roy Moore could have blown up the church where those four little black girls died and he’d still win against a godless race-traitorin’ liberal.

  • sosuume
    • BadKitty904

      There are staircases in the White House, I believe…

      • sosuume

        Yah. Buckets of KFC don’t work fast enough.

      • Miles Monroe

        Probably why he’s so afraid of them.

      • wavicles

        With votes, all the way down.

        • wavicles

          And marble floors.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      “My soul is a rocky place where kindness will find no purchase”.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Heeeeeeeeeeeey, my spouse is younger than me….

    • Michael R
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        So that’s why Amazon boxes have that frozen cardboard smile.

    • tehbaddr

      The look says it all!

  • It’s always nice to see people living up to a stereotype. They get offended by the idea that northern “liberal” states look down on them, and then demonstrate why we do.

    • grindstone

      Honey, even Florida side eyes Alabama.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Yeah, I honestly wonder if Mississippi isn’t trying to secede from the South at this point. Mebbe they’ll finally replace their Covfeferate flag with “I’m With Stupid” pointing to Alabama.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    If there’s any justice in the world, these people will get exactly what they want. They will elect Moore as their representative, and for at least a century, every issue they hold dear will be associated with child molestation.

  • Doug Langley

    OMIGOD . . . OMIGOD
    The turkey is perfect. Tender, juice falling out, wow. No more posts till I finish this off.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    You can’t deal with people who believe that Democrats carry pregnancies for nine months just so they can kill the baby.

    Also, you win the internet today for “ephebophile”

  • I can’t believe that woman who said, ‘those women had reputations at the time’. Christ, these were teenagers. This is character assassination on youngsters.

    • Michael R

      I wonder if they go home and think about how stupid they sound .
      Nah .

    • jesterpunk

      I hope they don’t have any kids especially daughters.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I was a prosecutor in my 20s. I had young women sex and domestic violence victims. They tended to have rough pasts. Not their fault. During pretrial interviews, I’d always have door open and a female intern in the room- comfort for her, witness for me.

      You can be sure as shit I didn’t sign their yearbooks or see these girls outside the courthouse.

      This implication that these young women were just loose hussies.. Jesus fucking christ

      • wavicles

        Alabama: “Yeah, so?”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I was raped when I was 13. The boy then spent the rest of high school giving me a “reputation.”

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      That is sick thinking: it’s OK for older men to prey on teens (“those women”) if they have “reputations.”

  • WilbyToad

    Racism, anti-Semitism and anti-LGBT hate: Desperate Roy Moore campaign pulls out all the stops
    by DAVID FURGUSON / RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/racism-anti-semitism-and-anti-lgbt-hate-desperate-roy-moore-campaign-pulls-out-all-the-stops/

    And in 2017 this is considered a winning strategy. Damn I miss my old delusion.

    • BadKitty904

      This is the Republican Party’s doing, from start to finish. Always remember that.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/55122d9ebbae9263ded8eb5a78fb0ab4902458d9fbd01f9065d61c6087507e8f.jpg

      • Miles Monroe

        And now, sexual predators, also too!

      • Rick Hill

        Big tent party

        • BadKitty904

          …of scum and villainy.

    • Thiazin Red

      As of last year you don’t even need to pretend any more. No more dog whistles just naked bigotry. To hell with the fig leaf of deniability.

      If Soros was really that all powerful wouldn’t we expect the world to look a lot different than it does?

    • RMKH

      You mean the one where we were an active, cooperative member of the world community? Where it was possible to elect someone to the presidency that wasn’t batshit crazy and happened to be African American? Where there were programs in place to ease the burden of the aging and infirm? Where we at least tried to make progress on remediating past environmental mistakes? Yeah, I miss that delusion also too.

  • Thiazin Red

    Disaster Artist was pretty good. James Franco does a pretty good Tommy impression. Younger Franco is cute, but seems to have a very limited range based on everything I’ve seen him in. He made a decent Greg though. The rest of the cast did well with their parts and the recreations of scenes from The Room were spot on.

    Its was kind of sweet, very similar in tone to Ed Wood. It was also really funny, but I do wonder if it would make any sense if you hadn’t seen The Room a few times.

    • Alternative Dog

      My son “forced” me to watch The Room a few months ago. It was difficult to sit through the whole thing. Now I can’t stop laughing at the references I encounter everywhere. Like this:

      https://youtu.be/dXlao2KNYjQ

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        This very video is exactly how much Tommy Wiseau I will allow myself.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        It’s better if you watch the Rifftrax version.

  • capnkrunch

    Fun with English Quiz Number 2 (repost from last weekend because I forgot to post the answers):
    NOTE: Answers are in the reply. No cheating!

    1. What do the following sentences mean?
    a) Will, will Will will Will Will’s will?
    b) Can can can can can can can can can can.

    2. Add the correct punctuation:
    a) Will Smith will smith Will Smith smith Smith will smith Who will smith Will Smith and Smith will
    b) She said that that that that that that student had was wrong

    HINT: a) is several sentences. b) is a single one.

    Just for fun (for 1 point of extra credit – how many “and”s are there?):

    In a similar vein, Martin Gardner offered the example: Wouldn’t the sentence “I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign” have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?

    Surely Martin Gardner is aware that his sentence would be clearer if quotation marks were placed before Fish, and between fish and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and And, and and and and, and and and And, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and And, and and and and, and and and And, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips. I assume his overlooking of this was deliberate in order to spur the reader to further extrapolate on the absurdity of omitting quotation marks.

    • capnkrunch

      Answers:
      1.
      a)Let’s do some substitutions. There are 4 uses of the word “will” in this sentence.
      Will as a proper noun. There are actually three seperate people named Will in this sentence. Let’s replace the names with Alice, Bob, and Charlie.
      will as a modal verb (as in “will Trump be impeached?”). Let’s keep this one as is.
      will as in “last will and testament”. Let’s replace it with “testament”.
      will as a verb referring to giving something to someone via a last will and testament. Let’s replace it with “bequeth”.
      With that the sentence reads:
      Alice, will Bob bequeth Charlie Bob’s testament?

      b)Some of these “can”s refer to the can-can dance. To start with let’s add in hypens:
      Can-can can-can can can can can can-can
      The other two uses of can here are:
      verb – be able to
      verb slang – figuratively put in a trash can (generally used to refer to being fired). I think the slang use of “trash” makes more sense here.
      The sentence can then be seen to mean: can-can (1) trashes can-can (2) which in turn trashes can-can (3).

      Alternatively, you can put hypens here:
      Can can-can can-can can can can can-can?
      This is basically the same thing but as a question.

      NOTE: This is actually a shitty example sentence because it the third use of can is a non-standard usage of a slang meaning. That usage isn’t in any of the major dictionaries.

      2.
      a)Will Smith will smith. Will Smith smith? Smith will smith. Who will smith? Will Smith and Smith will.
      A stupid conversation about Will Smith and a guy simply called Smith smithing (as in forging).

      b)She said that: that that “that,” that that student had was wrong.
      Alternatively: She said that that “that that,” that that student had was wrong.

      Extra credit:
      There are 118 “and”s total. The second part has 89 in a row.

      • SDGeoff3

        You get an A-plus.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        I think my brain just gave its notice.

        • JustDon’tSayProbably

          We kin haz alkyhol naow?

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails

            Mee no speek dee ingleesh guud no mor.

          • Miles Monroe

            … be cuz we all ready haz.

      • Bobathonic

        I’d rather do math.

    • Sally

      Shame on you for quoting the Porn Model verbatim.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    If we could just go back to slave days, when families were strong…

    • h4rr4r

      Well until they were broken apart at the auctions.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        A Robert E. Lee specialty.

        • RMKH

          Along with the healing brine bath after an educational whipping.

    • According to BIRTH OF A NATION most were just regular white folks in blackface anyways.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      We face a serious deficit in empathy

    • Sally

      WHITE families, dears. No one cared about the slaves. They had families?

  • Watching this video, I can’t help but think that Frank Luntz bears a lot of responsibility for the attitudes of these idiots.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      How come Democrats never learned that particular skill?

      It’s really not that difficult.

      • If you are telling the truth, you don’t need buzzwords which obfuscate your meaning.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          You watch yer language there, boy! Them’s fightin’ words, ya know. Ain’t never been a good and proper Southerner who did any of that thar obfuscatin’! Nuthin’ but godless Yankee business.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    If you have the nerve, elect a perve. Fuck you Alabama.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Better ped than dead.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Better ped than red.

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          Better ped AND red

        • Sally

          Better ped than sane (doesn’t rhyme, but is accurate!)

      • gallbladder

        I can see the bumper stickers now…

      • tehbaddr

        Better ped than one of therm hi fallutine’ costal elititests commie bastards her emails HER EMALES!!!11!!!!!!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I just got my annual Xmas card from my retired fundamentalist bigot minister uncle. He sent me this little brochure that says “ABSOLUTELY FREE GIFT!” and inside it says “This gift is ETERNAL LIFE in a glorious HEAVEN! Receive this absolutely free gift TODAY!”

    That’s so cool, Uncle Dwayne, thanks, but I’d rather have free health care.

    • jesterpunk

      Are they planning on blowing up the middle east already?

    • Treehopper1104

      But think of how much faster you can get to heaven without access to medical care!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My thoughts, exactly. You know, once you’re there, you can’t get out, it’s kind of like joining the military. I prefer to have some options.

        • redarmyzombie

          So, like the opposite of Constantinople then?

    • Miles Monroe

      Ask him if he kept the receipt, ’cuz you want to exchange it for something that fits …

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Take it up with Christ the Redeemer, heathen.

        • Miles Monroe

          The hell with that; there’s always a line this time of year.

    • bbayliss

      If his name had been anything other than “Dwayne” I’d have been disappointed.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
        • bupkus231

          Hell, even he ( publically ) prefers another name. He started out as Rocky Malveia, Jr., in honor of his father – long before he got to “The Rock” – and considering all the variations in spelling of the name “Dwayne”, I can’t say I blame him….

      • Angela Ruzzo

        His middle name is Eugene. Eugene must have been a very popular name in the 1920’s, because I had at least a dozen relatives with that name, mostly all dead now, no doubt from the burden of going through life named Eugene. One of my aunts married TWO Eugene’s – sequentially, not at the same time. You would think once would be enough.

        • bbayliss

          Well, there’s Eugene and then there’s “U gene”, 2 different animals

    • Alternative Dog

      Do people actually think something like that is going to be effective?

      In contrast, my beloved sister and her husband once sent me a birthday card which said on the front “If you’d like, you may think of this as your birthday card.” On the inside it said “However, we prefer to think of it as your birthday present.” I totally laughed.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        When my atheist father died, my old-school Italian Catholic aunt sent me a sympathy gift – a fancy padded-cardboard “gift card” from some Catholic religious order indicating she had made a contribution that would allow them to pray for my dad’s soul for X number of hours so he could be “saved.” I would have given a lot to see my father’s face if he had seen that card.

        The funniest card I ever saw was one with a very sad face on the front looking at a cake with LOTS of candles, and it said “Cheer up! Things could be worse!” When you opened it, it said “You could be this age and a virgin!” I sent it to my brother.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That’s worse than Chick Tracts.

    • redarmyzombie

      Tell him you traded it to Satan in exchange for that lifetime supply of coupons for the Abortionplex.

  • Maclare’s Colosseum O’Crap🏛️

    Are any of these people under 40? Are any of these people not blinding white?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Welcome to a number of these states where a goodly portion of the youth relocate. For all the crying about the liberal elite coasts their kids sure seem willing to head there.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Unfortunately, the ones who don’t… become Tiki Bro and Dylann Roof.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Yeah…I recognize the state license plates on the freeway when various tech firms go on hiring binges.

    • bupkus231

      Where is your “focus”? Of course not.

  • shastakoala

    Since you all asked ? :) My kidney was removed successfully Tuesday and I was home Thursday morning. Crazy huh? I’ve decided my little left over kidney is female because she’s taking charge and gettin’ things done! Pretty sore still but feeling better every day. So as long as the cancer has not spread I’m good to go.

    • redarmyzombie

      I’m glad to hear that Shasta. Here’s to hoping everything else goes well!

      • shastakoala

        Thanks!

    • Hurray! So happy you’re OK

      • shastakoala

        Thank you. I have a 15 year old son I have to raise. I have no time for this.

        • Oh shit. I remember 15 year old boys from when i was a 15 year old girl. They were not the most independent of beings

          • shastakoala

            Exactly.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Here’s to a quick recovery, and a cancer-free future.

    • Anna Rompage

      Glad to hear things went well!

      Here’s to quick healing and getting back on your feet!

      • shastakoala

        Just got back from the grocery store. Went very slow, not very far and the walking felt good.

    • BadKitty904

      Wth??? But congrats!!! Now, go rest and heal…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Glad it went well. Blessed Be.

      • shastakoala

        :)

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I can’t believe Obama did this to you. DAMN HIM STRAIGHT TO HELL!

      • shastakoala

        Lol! For shame!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Sally

      Keep the positive thoughts!! Good for you (and her.)

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Congrats! First step done. Wishing you all the best.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      As long as you can still get pissed off…..OK, I’ll show myself out.

      • shastakoala

        I’ll tip the waiter.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
      • Flossie

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      • Joyce

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
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      • Heather

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    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “I’ve decided my little left over kidney is female because she’s taking charge and gettin’ things done!”

      https://i.imgflip.com/20ssu1.jpg

      • shastakoala

        Aww!

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Hope I got your NAME right. … May you make a full and rapid recovery.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/816d70a6f29c5716af981b461fa5b60d425ad58ddc675b27b16ac9979c1b1b95.jpg

      • shastakoala

        Perfect. :)

    • nightmoth

      Well, dang, honey! Didn’t know this was going on with you. I’m a cancer-beater myself. You just keep on truckin’ because you got a lot of living left to do.

    • HooverVilles

      I put in a word to the Ceiling Cat, so that should help.
      >^O.O^<

  • BadKitty904
    • redarmyzombie

      Why yes, I DO like movies with gladiators in them!

  • L Jean Camp

    “There were still clothes on”… blaming the girl for the interaction.
    These people are hideous. And the one who talked about “dating” someone who was over thirty when she sixteen, that made me clench with emotion.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It can hardly be more obvious that ol’ Roy was working up to full-fledged rape. And we have NO way of knowing that he never completed the act.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      As the saying goes, can’t make folks understand stuff when their way of life depends on their not understanding stuff.

      • shastakoala

        It bothers me to understand that.

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          Hell, I hated bringing it up.

  • Anna Rompage

    God should have made an 11th commandment; Don’t rape, or sexually assault people, especially if they’re children.

    I would have thought that was just common sense, but I guess some folks need that spelled out for them..

    • Not so much if you’ve been told throught the rest of the damn bible that women are property

      • redarmyzombie

        Hell, it’s probably the only damn thing that book is consistent on!

    • Thiazin Red

      God was also cool with slavery.

      • Anna Rompage

        And rape, as long as you paid off the father and took the victims hand in marriage…

        • Thiazin Red

          Or the woman was your wife’s slave, or she was a prisoner of war that you kidnapped, or a woman you fancied so you purposely got her husband killed, etc

          • redarmyzombie

            …Or your mother…

          • Thiazin Red

            Or you father in the case of Lot’s daughters

          • Anna Rompage

            Or your sister…

            I mean if all the humans came from Adam & Eve, all of their offspring must have been getting down with one another

          • Thiazin Red

            Although the land of Nod seems to imply there was a separate creation going on somewhere else.

          • bupkus231

            A “literal, inerrant Bible”, indeed….

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      That was an option, available at extra cost.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      As someone just hoping for purgatory… the Lord works in mysterious ways. A test to see if evangelicals actually believe in anything, perhaps?

      • bupkus231

        My religious fantasy is that the Rapture occurs – and NONE of the current crop of “Christians” gets picked up….

        Of course, they’re the ones who cause the “Tribulation”, as they take out their frustrations at being shown to be “not worthy” on the rest of us. “Hell on Earth” will be created by those frustrated “Christians”….

    • Genesis 34: 25-29

      25 And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the
      sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brethren, took each man his
      sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.

      26 And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house, and went out.

      27 The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.

      28 They took their sheep, and their oxen, and their asses, and that which was in the city, and that which was in the field,

      29 And all their wealth, and all their little ones, and their wives took they captive, and spoiled even all that was in the house.

      • Anna Rompage

        What do you expect from folks who grew up being told they are being punished because some rib woman sought knowledge?

        • bupkus231

          Face it – even if she hadn’t “sought knowledge”, the idea that Eve was created from Adam’s rib ( i.e. subordinate to ) would have been enough for most of these assholes, let alone having someone to blame for “the fall from grace”…

      • Miles Monroe

        So, kind of proto-Republicans, then.

    • bupkus231

      The story of Lot and his daughters would never have happened then.

      The 11th Commandment you suggest would never have worked with too many other parts of the OId Testament…

    • Timothy Watson

      7 They fought against Midian, as the Lord commanded Moses, and killed every man. 8 Among their victims were Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba—the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. 9 The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. 10 They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. 11 They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals, 12 and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho.

      13 Moses, Eleazar the priest and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp. 14 Moses was angry with the officers of the army—the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—who returned from the battle.

      15 “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them. 16 “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the Lord in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people. 17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

      Numbers 31:7-18, NIV

      • Anna Rompage

        Jeeze, and here the Muslims need to martyr themselves to get their free virgins

        • Timothy Watson

          Muslims pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Christians expect handouts.

          /sarc

    • Rick Hill

      That’s actually been covered but they don’t pay attention to what they don’t want to.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Missing the West……
    High Desert is the place to be
    Western livin’ is the life for me
    Land spreading out so far and wide
    Keep your mower and give me that dusty ride

  • BadKitty904

    Kden, you lil sugarplums, enough random amusement – time to go check on our BIG-ass pot of chili and to feed the kitties. Waes hael!!!

  • jesterpunk
  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Frank’s looking a bit tubster here. Needs to lay off the donuts.

    Also, these people are morons.

    • Wait…where are these donuts?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I’ve already eaten them.

        My glass house is replete with eels.

        • The hovercraft is more useful

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I’m too full of donuts to want a hovercraft ride*.

            * That sounds like an interesting sexual deviance.

          • Rule 34

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I’m going to say it references a water bed, bondage cuffs, olive oil and whistling.

          • I was Ok until the whistling. That sound makes me stabby, which would be so bad for the waterbed

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Can’t you have triggered by spunds.

          • Typos….pesky touchscreen keyboard

          • JustDon’tSayProbably

            Don’t fix it, tho!

          • wavicles

            More like *blowing on* than whistling.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Donut look at me!

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          You were my first accusation if it hadn’t been me.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Ugh, the thought of these people having children is horrifying.

    • miss_grundy

      More like grandchildren. They seem like the type who like to teach hatred.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        It’s Alabama. By now, it’s probably great great grandchildren.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Great-great-grandcousinsiblings, you mean.

  • Anna Rompage

    Christmas is about believing what a woman said about her sex life

    Christmas is about a refugee family finding safety & shelter

    Christmas is about a child in need receiving assistance from the wealthy

    Christmas is about god identifying himself with the outcasts & marginalized of the world, not the wealthy & powerful.

    Christmas is about unconditional love and acceptance, no matter who that person may be.

    Christmas & Christianity is not about backing a serial child molester who is supported by a sexual assaulting egomaniac hoofwanking bunglecunt, and casting the numerous people who witnessed, or experienced first hand, the child molester’s actions as liars…

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Amen

    • Gosala

      Brilliant. Thank you.

    • miss_grundy

      Huzzah!

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      You just had to ruin Christmas by bringing up hoofwanking bunglecunts, didn’t ya?

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        Isn’t that one of the reindeer?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Christmas is about a refugee family finding safety & shelter

      Well, some of my heroes have been known to be Christmas cowboys.

      https://i.imgur.com/veHahOS.jpg

      Maggie, did you know
      That your baby boy would welcome in the stranger?
      Maggie did you know
      That your baby boy would lead them out of danger?
      Did you know
      That your baby boy would fulfill a lifelong dream
      And he would be a better leader
      Than the emperor of ice cream…!

      (NB: The li’l babby is also named Justin Trudeau.)

    • tehbaddr

      Ummm, Christmas is about the Church absconding with the solstice celebration! The reason for the Season is Axial tilt!

      • Anna Rompage

        Shhhh, stop taking things so literally…

      • HooverVilles

        This message is approved by Ceiling Cat, FSM and dsylexic doG.
        >^o.o^<

      • handyhippie65

        logic, gotta love it!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I thought Christmas was about hollering ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS!!” at every libtard who dares to wish anybody “Happy Holidays”? …And then returning all your gifts back to the store so you can get the cash instead.

    • johnnysandiego

      Stealing this

    • HooverVilles

      ^^^THIS^^^

  • Kryptonian Canis

    I hope incidents like this are enough to convince people who are on the fence about whether or not to continue their Republican Party affiliation to finally get the fuck out.

  • I was all for The Greatest Showman until i found out the music is by the guy who did La La Land. Since the music was the second worst part of that movie, i will be skipping Showman

    • Thiazin Red

      The only number in La La Land I liked was Someone in the Crowd, mostly because it had real singers and dancers in it.

      Maybe Greatest Showman will be better since the cast seems to be more musically talented.

      • I don’t even remember any of the music from LaLa, only thr annoyance i felt at the whole movie

        • Thiazin Red

          It was annoying. I hated Gosling’s character so much. Everything John Legend said to him was true, but Legend is the villain who doesn’t really appreciate jazz.

          • I also hated Emma Stone’s character. So, i hated everyone in the movie

          • Thiazin Red

            I didn’t hate her as much, but neither of them were characters I cared about or wanted to see succeed.

    • Kakariki

      NOT CORRECT!
      Benj Pasek & Justin Paul only wrote the lyrics for La La Land NOT the music.
      Their independent stuff is much more interesting. They wrote last year’s Tony winning best musical Dear Evan Hansen and one of my favorite musicals Dogfight.
      I just got The Greatest Showman soundtrack and it is very good. VERY different from La La Land and musically more contemporary than I expected for the subject matter (PT Barnum).

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Doug Langley

      Won’t anyone think of the big corporations?

      • Rick Hill

        It’s on public lands. It’s not uranium, it’s ouranium

    • h4rr4r

      With the current price of Uranium, which is low due to cheap renewables and natural gas this seems rather pointless.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        What part of provoking libtard tears don’t you understand?!

      • Alternative Dog

        Hey, those bombs aren’t going to make themselves.

    • anon_the_great

      Yeah, yeah, yeah, but know what. There isn’t a uranium mining proposal that could get a wooden nickel investors. Fuck Twitler, but without a market all that shit stays in the ground.

      • tehbaddr

        tRUMP can sell it to the Russians, so there’s that on the bright side of economic upswing!

  • The Wanderer

    Army 14, Navy 13. Army has won the Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy for the first time since 1996.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Too bad about the current Commander-In-Chief…

    • Raan

      I assume they’ll accept it with all the gusto of someone who hates talking on the phone receiving a Bluetooth headset.

      • The Wanderer

        Trump’s not there, obviously, so they’re positively giddy about it.

    • tehbaddr

      In other News, this country is going down the crapper with a big swirly!

  • Timothy Watson

    “Unfortunately, Luntz did not point out that the reason they were speaking out now is because reporters from the Washington Post had heard rumors about Moore’s behavior and specifically sought Leigh Corfman out.”

    Well, this is Frank Fucking Luntz we’re talking about.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    I can’t look at their economically anxious faces.

  • Raan

    And now, here’s a little ditty to get the Wonketariat into the “War on Christmas” season.

    https://youtu.be/94OVz1Rq73o

  • John Lo

    Voter suppression should be directed at these lame brains.

  • Anna Rompage

    Racism, anti-Semitism and anti-LGBT hate: Desperate Roy Moore campaign pulls out all the stops

    Sounds like Moore might be setting his sights on a White Hkuse bid in 2020

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Yeah, Trump dumps Pence and Moore is his running mate.

      • therblig

        worse yet, pence/moore – motherfucker and kidfucker

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        Arpaio is gonna be so mad.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • therblig

    yesterday on wnyc, richard hake announced that alternate side of the street parking was suspended for immaculate conception, and all i could think was “fuck, not again!”

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      no see the fuck part is irrelevant……

  • Ok, going to games night at my cousin’s place. Later Wonkers!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I helped my mom get her Christmas tree up and decorated today. That’s pretty much tapped out my holiday good cheer. When did I become such a curmudgeon?

    • I did after my first year of christmas in retail

      • I did after my first Christmas married to someone in retail.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I work in retail. Damn I haaaaaaate the holidays. Even though cheese selling shouldn’t seem like a thing.

        • Peegan (((RESIST)))

          Holidays are just a cruel joke for those in retail.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Christmas gives us who work in retail the best context within which to exercise our misanthropy.

      • Thiazin Red

        I didn’t like Christmas standards before I worked retail over the holidays, but after hours of the same 20 songs, even 15 years later I can’t stand them.

      • Phried Ω

        I know my limitations. I’m bad at retail on both sides of the register.

      • bupkus231

        Today, I had occasion to visit my local chain pharmacy – and for some reason the background music intruded on my inner monologue for just a moment.

        “Jeez – Who could listen to this shit for more than the 3 minutes that I am in this store?”

        My sympathies to all of you who have to deal with this every fuckin’ year….

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Have some of mine. Good cheer feels weird to me.

    • Prollynottoday. Busy.

      Shit, at least you have some ! Good job !

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Some folks are born to greatness, others have greatness thrust upon them. Go with that.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        “And then, there are those of us who got it both ways.”

    • Gigglesnort

      Not a Christian personally, so doing the whole holiday thing out of habit and because family has done it for decades. I am only so far into it though. Baby Jesus is not where my head is at, and I think all that reindeer stuff is just dumb, because I am more than 5. Maybe I should just have a few libations for the solstice and skip out on the whole rest of the thing.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        It’s kind of fun and interesting to go back and read about Rome combining disparate mythologies into one kinda-sorta amalgamated mess, though. There are no reindeer in Asia Minor or Italy, obviously, so the reindeer stuff comes from the Norse, something about Thor’s chariot flying to Valhalla on winter solstice. (WITP’s puppeh is the O.G. Santa!)

    • I didn’t like Xmas as a kid. I perceived it as bribery from my parents.

      It didn’t work.

  • Kneeling Bozilingus

    Quote from Charlie Pierce’s Esquire article about Erik Prince.
    ‘Most recently, he has been in the news when it was reported that he proposed to develop a private military and intelligence force that would operate under the direct supervision of the White House.’

    If you can buy the loyalties of this force, can a bidder with a higher price just pay them a little more (maybe even collect from both sides and tell each one “You are my employer.”)

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Is there a link available for the terminally lazy?

    • 3FingerPete
      • wavicles

        With smaller Brute Squads

    • Phried Ω

      Since that is pretty much the plot of every Fredrick Forsyth book I’d say yes.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Of course. It’s an old story. There were roaming bands of mercenaries in the Renaissance who would fight first for one king, then for another, then for a Duke, then for a Prince…Quite often it wasn’t a case of “highest bidder” but a case of not being paid by one king after you had fought for him, so you offered your services to his enemy to get revenge.

      • Phried Ω

        See 30 years war.

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        Not like tRump would ever not pay these employees. /s

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      There’s probably a reason I swore an oath to the constitution when I joined. And that my uniform has an American flag on one shoulder and my current units patch on the other.

      These private armies are and have been awful ideas

    • bupkus231

      If you can buy the loyalties of this force, can a bidder with a higher price just pay them a little more (maybe even collect from both sides and tell each one “You are my employer.”)

      You betcha!!!

    • wavicles

      Nope, these guys would be beyond reproach, believe me. Nothing but the best for the old USofA.

  • Rick Hill

    You know for certain these big mouthed bible thumpers do not have faith in their religion. If they did, they’d really pay attention to that “Don’t bear false witness” rule.

    • Gosala

      that fer sure, but also they wouldn’t be screaming about a war on Christianity. If they really believed, they wouldn’t be scared. They’d have a serene, other worldly peace. Kinda like what Christ had.

      • yyyaz

        AKA: The peace that passes understanding.

        • Gosala

          Yep

    • bupkus231

      Face it, they’ve re-defined the tenets of their “religion” so that it no longer fits the original naming.

      They need both a new name and a new “Holy Book”. It’s not “Trumpism”, since their heresies on Christianity long predate the rise of the orange shitgibbon. I’d also suggest something from Ayn Rand for their “Holy Book”, except that I’m not all that familiar with her “oeuvre” – just enough to know that she was too full of shit to enjoy the adulation that some afford her.

      I’m taking suggestions for either…

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Their holy book has been Mein Kampf since forever.

      • “Selfishness, The Unknown Ideal”.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I can’t remember who it was who recommended the BBC series “Digging for Britain”, but I just want to say right here and now, in front of witnesses, that I am remembering you in my will. What a great series!

    • Prollynottoday. Busy.

      Thanks. I watched the Detectorists. Its a comedy. Well, what the Brits call comedy.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Where are you watching it?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I got a friend in the UK to send me DVDs. They’re Region 2, of course, and my DVD player won’t play them, but I use MakeMKV to rip them to files I can stream to my TV. I believe that piratical place has them, too.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • amrak63

      I wonder if she has to buy piranha food, or if enough creeps try to hit on her that she doesn’t need to.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Pirhanas are

        a) done to death

        and

        b) cumbersome

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So apparently the White House has resumed their spamming. And I’m still on their list. It’s mostly just links now. Enjoy!

    “U.S. Customs and Border Patrol began physical testing on prototypes for the U.S.-Mexico border wall this week. “Physical testing of the samples includes efforts to scale or breach the walls, using tools such as jackhammers and saws,” The Hill reported.”

    • Left Coast Tom

      No ladders?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Well, that would be a bit too obvious.

    • Prollynottoday. Busy.

      I would be happy to test their prototypes. C-4 on the Black Market is not that expensive. Er, or so I’ve heard.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      But no shovels. Crom, stupid doesn’t begin to describe these people.

      • redarmyzombie

        Or ropes.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I wish they’d talk to a combat engineer company commander for 5 minutes. There are lots of ways to breach walls. We are good at it. Sprinkle some knowledge, maybe cause some reflection

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Mark Valley, the actor, got an engineering degree from West Point. I find that show he did for 2 seasons, “Human Target”, incredibly entertaining because it’s basically “The Fall Guy” with a generous dash of “mythbusters”,

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Nothing but props for my colleagues in the armed forces. I don’t know if I’m good enough to do my job while being shot at, and maybe I never will.

    • Raan

      How about shovels and grappling hooks?

  • Diamonds? Gold? Unobtainium Oxide?

    Nope. The most valuable thing to Conservatives is ……. Liberal Tears…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f55b252779cff548fe9203bf7be7138427b45337cff5bfa8a2fe5d6a72e8b249.jpg

    (Like we would shed them for these fuckers…)

    • amrak63

      Are you sure this dude isn’t one of us, working undercover? He does not seem to be wearing pants.

      • well, he’s def working under a cheap, blue tarp.
        The Official Roofing Material of Hillbillies.

        • Phried Ω

          Blue tarps are the WD-40 of building materials. Roofs, blankets, dildo covers, funeral shrouds….

          • Courser_Resistance

            Essential part of Patient Packaging for SAR

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          Tar paper libelz!!!111!

        • Prollynottoday. Busy.

          He is being cost efficient. Re-roofing trailers, sheds, outhouses, barns, lean-toos, and esp houses costs a whole hog lot more !

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        he’s defending the box of dildos in his trailer.

        • amrak63

          I miss Box of Dildos. They owned the room that time they opened for Clarence Carter at the Pine Bluff Convention Center. An odd combination, but it clicked.

          Unfortunately, the lead triangle player underwent spontaneous human cryofreezing (the opposite of spontaneous human combustion) and shuffled off his mortal coil. The others decided he could not be replaced and broke up.

          • Anne Of Green Bagels

            whatever happened to their oboe player?

          • amrak63

            She lives a few houses up the street from me. She’s the assistant band director at one of the local high schools.

          • Anne Of Green Bagels

            who would have thought back then?

      • Resistor Radio

        He appears to be a nevernude.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    The best example of DK here is Frank Luntz, because he thought a basic understanding of math and English enabled him to ensure that he was not dealing with complete assholes.

    • bupkus231

      I’m not sure that Frank Luntz has a “basic understanding of math and English”. He seems to be an unprincipled “ad-man” who has found another way to pursue the dark arts ( no statistics or semantic understanding needed – just the willingness to distort )…

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        You need to have a basic understanding of math and English to be an unprincipled ad-man. Not college junior even, sophomore-level stats and comp will do.

  • Picabo
    • jesterpunk

      That isnt actually that comforting, Trump threatened to bomb the shit out of Iran last year for making rude gestures and asked why we cant use the nuclear weapons we have.

      • Rick Hill

        Plus, if it makes his ratings go up a smidge, he’s all in.

        • shastakoala

          That’s why “Sweeps Week” is now something to be feared.

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        he’s basically Jim Jones at this point. doesn’t matter what he does or doesn’t believe.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          DON’T FORGET TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE ORANGEADE…

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Don’t forget that he also too brought up nuking Europe as a final solution to the Muslim problem. The last time London got blitzkrieg’ed, nobody had split the atom yet…

    • Jamoche
      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Mike Pence is fine with half the planet dying in a fiery mess if it means Jesus might come back. Real Christian of you, Mike.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        That’s only a “grin” in the mind of Japanese RPG developers

        • bupkus231

          Geez – it took me a moment, but I was hoping you were talking about a “rocket-propelled grenade”.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            RPG weapons are not developed, they are designed.

      • James Smith

        Maybe Pence thinks he’s Christ?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I honestly don’t know why Kurt is still on Twitter. Those death cult members aren’t going away and they’re just going to bombard him with more Super Soldier Porygon .gifs. Twitter, you really do suck at preventing abuse.

    • So, that means that all of these people who are clappy-hands about being closer to the apocalypse think Donald Trump is the actual, literal anti-Christ? Because that’s who will bring all of this about, and if Trump is the one inching us forward, then ipso facto and de minimus and other Latin shit I don’t understand and neither do they so it doesn’t matter.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Assumes Trump has agenda, core values, or ability to think rationally – facts not in evidence

  • Rick Hill

    Nerd humer. You have to be smert, to get this!
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a88x0Zd_460s.jpg

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      The cop is a pawn of The Establishment.

    • “KNIGHT LIVES MATTER!”

      “ALL PIECES MATTER, YOU RACIST!”

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    I’m far from qualified to give marital advice. But… I grabbed a sandwich tonight and got a booth. Posted here a bit and was reading a bar guide on suppression issues. Christmas Carols on the radio. Completely lost track of time. Spouse stops by annoyed I’m not back (it’s a small town and she was running an errand).

    Ace in the hole- I’d picked up flowers for her earlier, Christmas bouquet. She’s at least less annoyed. Flowers well worth it, now a date night :)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Have a lovely evening. And good thinking.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Haha, thanks, you too! Of course, now I have to shave :).

        And always better to be lucky then good

  • Courser_Resistance

    I have a bit of news that it’s time to share with you, my Wonker friends. I told my in-person friends today and Little Bro yesterday.

    I’m going to try to emigrate to Norway. An organization, The Recovery Project, was launched last November as a program to bring back Norwegian descendants of Norwegian immigrants that came to America in the 19th century. I’m in that group. My great-grandfather came to the US as a doctor. I know I’m actually older than their target group, but I still have quite a few work years left. They’ll also try to locate any living relatives I may have.

    I think it’s a long shot, but I feel like I’ve got to try. It was one of the driving reasons behind the big apartment purge last week. Right now, I’m planning a trip next summer to try to find a job, which is a first step. Obviously, I’ll start looking now, but the job sites I’ve found so far may be in english, but the job descriptions are in Norwegian. I’ve also orders a well recommended Norwegian-language book.

    • redarmyzombie

      Well, best of luck!

    • JustDon’tSayProbably

      Wow. That’s a big move. Time to learn some Norse!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Supposedly, Norse is not a difficult language to learn. I’ve begun learning Swedish and I found it fairly easy. Yes, I already speak French, Spanish and some Italian, but Swedish and Norwegian (Norse) are completely unrelated. Knowing a few old Scottish words was helpful, but not necessary.

        • Changeling

          Norwegian and Swedish are so similar that speakers of one can usually understand the other. They’re both quite similar to English. I think Norse refers to viking-era language from which the present-day Scandinavian languages and Icelandic developed.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          English has a TON of loan words from Norse thanks to centuries of Viking invasions. Prolly more of a help than any of the Romance languages.

          • Courser_Resistance

            A Scots-Gaelic influence too. I’m 3rd Gen Norwegian and Scot plus Native American. My dad’s mom’s the Norwegian side. She was serious bad-crazy, so we didn’t have much to do with her. We were much closer to the Scot side which had passed down some old Gaelic words. BUT my entire early childhood was in a Scandinavian community, so I grew up hearing a lot of very different languages. It’s amazing what a few Swedish words have triggered for me.

    • Is Berserker still a job option there?

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Courser_Resistance

        Well, I have the huge ‘knockers’. Maybe they’ll just take me if I show ’em.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      If I offer a back rub can I come too? :-D

    • Prollynottoday. Busy.

      Good luck ! As per my usual snark, I will be of no help to you as I have never been there. I will recommend watching Lilyhammer though, I thought it was great.
      Cerially good luck !

    • JohnC44

      Måtte hell og lykke følge deg!

    • bupkus231

      Good luck – my cousin and one of her sons took advantage of a similar sounding effort by Finland a few years ago – got “dual citizenship”, but neither has yet taken advantage of the opportunity to return to the homeland ( my cousin’s father was a “resident alien” here, never renouncing his Finnish citizenship, despite being here for at least as long as I can remember ).

      My mom was born in Helsinki, from American citizens, so I didn’t “qualify” by that earlier program – but I’m kinda hoping that Finland may try again, and open it up to American-born Finnish Americans, but I’m probably already “aged-out”…

      • Courser_Resistance

        I have a German friend who returned to Germany last year, after living here his entire adult life. In his case, he had a home that he could sell here so he could just buy property to ‘get in’. But he was sure to *finally* get his dual citizenship in the US before he left.

      • Changeling

        I found this from Finnish Immigration Service pages (http://www.migri.fi/finnish_citizenship):

        Citizenship of Finland

        Finnish citizenship may be based on one of the following:

        -the nationality of one of your biological or adoptive parents (parentage principle)
        -your place of birth being Finland (birthplace principle)
        -your parents’ marriage to each other (legitimation)
        -application (naturalisation)
        -declaration

        • WomanInThePersistence

          So, regarding the fifth, if i just say I’m a Finn, I am one?

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            I think I am Finnish, therefor I am Finnish.
            – Rennu Descartes

    • Phried Ω

      I recommend you avoid reading Jo Nesbø. The place is full of serial killers.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Wait just a doggone minute…he’s my favorite Scandinavian author! And while we’re at it watch Headhunters on Netflix. It’s the highest grossing film in Norwegian history and based on a Nesbø novel.

        • Phried Ω

          Mine too. The comment was reserved for his fans.

    • OrG

      Norway(Norge) is great. I might feel different if I was there in the winter though;)

      • Courser_Resistance

        I love the winter and cold, so I think I’ll be fine with it. I’m really never truly comfy at anything over about 80. My preferred sleeping temp is in the mid-50’s.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “An organization, The Recovery Project, was launched last November as a program to bring back Norwegian descendants of Norwegian immigrants that came to America in the 19th century.”

      HOLY SHIT THIS IS REAL?!?

      Finally, something good about my father’s side of the family!!!

      • Courser_Resistance
        • Changeling

          Warning – everybody is welcome.

          “IS EVERYONE WELCOME?
          Absolutely! We have extended invitations to Miley Cyrus, Bryan Cranston, Cher, Samuel L. Jackson and Jon Stewart to name a few. Who knows — maybe you’ll be neighbors in Ringerike?”

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Same here! Granted it’s generations back. Nobody who sees me thinks “Norwegian.”

    • Anne Of Green Bagels
      • theCryptofishist

        You don’t have to be careful with something so damn spectacular.

    • The Librarian

      I have a friend who’s nephew emigrated years ago. Never looked back. Best of luck to you.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      The son of one of my mom’s best friends lives in Oslo. He loves it. Of course his father was Norwegian, and he grew up there, mostly, and speaks the language fluently. I wish you the best on this new chapter.

    • theCryptofishist

      I should get that German citizenship… In times like these, a second passport is nice…

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Is there a French version of the program?

      • Courser_Resistance

        Ask Macron!

        I think it’s kind a Scandinavian ‘thing’. ‘Vikings’ didn’t just attack and pillage. Many of them were 2nd or subsequent sons who wouldn’t inherit, so they left the homeland and settled elsewhere, later returning as siblings died out or were killed. So leaving and coming back later, with family in tow, was very common. They’re just extending the idea into the 21st century. As an added plus, reproductive-aged returnees will be bringing much-needed genetic diversity back to the homeland. (That’s entirely my thought – I’ve never seen the idea in print anywhere, but it’s very solid theory)

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      I genuinely hope you can make it happen. It’ll be a big swodge of culture shock, but if you’re visiting next summer you’ll be able to adjust that much easier later on.
      I assume you’ll be making progress reports as things develop?

      • Courser_Resistance

        Thanks Ron. Yes, I’ll keep everyone updated. It’ll be a huge culture shock, which is a big reason for the trip next summer. What’s going on right now in the US is quite literally killing me and there is quite literally no future for the me in this country. It’s either leave or die penniless and probably homeless. I’ve checked what I’ll get if SS still exists and it’s just not possible to live on 1,500/mo in the Metro. Forget health care. Norway is an expensive country but wages are also high. Which means I don’t necessarily have to find a high-level job. If I can locate some distant relatives, that’d be a plus, too.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Watch Headhunters on Netflix!

  • SisterArtemis

    once again, Wonkette is edumacational. Of course, we just called them chickenhawks, but this sounds better
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf3bb7b902b1b112c5a1ac5c80595d6a38b90b952e59b30823ffe9d762c8b716.jpg

    • armed_bears

      So: My $11 a month is well spent. I is learned something.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB
    • bupkus231

      Wow – you must be an oldz, to remember that “chicken hawk” used to refer to kid fuckers rather than draft dodgers who still advocated war….

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I’m so old-fashioned that I only remembered the word pederasty instead…

      These new fancy edumacatin words

      • hudson

        bachchabaaz is another word for it.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Okay, that one made my hair stand…

          • hudson

            it is creepy. as creepy as hastert et al here. turns out among the ancients, the greeks were big on it too.

  • Rick Hill
    • The same voters think Mexicans are lazy and take all the welfare…
      All while stealing all the jobs from them and their kids.

      (Schrodinger weeps dryly in a box)

    • We Canadians are fun

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You literally elected Christmas. Christmas even has another Property Brother who is also named Christmas. The North Pole has a postal code of H0H 0H0. The sleigh takes off from YUL Airport, which is named after Father Christmas. Pierre Noel.

        CANADA IS LITERALLY CHRISTMAS COUNTRY!!!!

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0e5fa602c169738185c07ea573d2d84d13df6adc484a51d5bc1aaaa72f1765ee.jpg

        We got stuck with Grampa Krampus thanks to Czar Rat King…

        • theCryptofishist

          On one hand, I love Krampus. On the other I hate Czar Rat King. Why is the world filled with ambivalent situations?

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Grampa Krampus is different. He’s a pukey shade of orange, and instead of stealing away bratty children, he steals from the poor to feed his own fat self with ill-gotten riches and fast food. He turns Happy Meals into SAD! Meals.

            The Christmas princes’ papa once upon a time hung out with a young couple who were trying to have peace instead of war on Christmas. Sadly, nobody wanted it…

            http://www.historymuseum.ca/cmc/exhibitions/hist/biography/images/trudeau-chro-johnb.jpg

      • bupkus231

        I was gonna say, that sounded too snarky to come from a “real Canadian” – but then I realized what I was gonna say….

        • TootsStansbury

          Sorry.

  • Raan

    When you get right down to it, is pro wrestling really that much different from what Peter Parker ends up doing?

    • jesterpunk

      Not really, Peter Parker would be more like Lucha Underground then anything else though.

  • Picabo
  • Michael Lindsay

    “Damn those coastal elites for making fun of us!”
    “Why of COURSE my mama was thirteen when she was hitched!”

    • jesterpunk

      THEY SUPPORT A LITERAL COASTAL ELITE THAT COASTED THROUGH LIFE BECAUSE OF WHO HIS FATHER WAS.

      • Michael Lindsay

        To be precise a draft-dodging, military disrespecting, philandering Yankee coastal elitist, but fair enough

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        You mean he got money for doing nothing? But he’s not black?

  • Rick Hill
    • Resistor Radio

      Woah… post that on Breitbart and troll the fuck outta them!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That’s a Bombardier from Canada… it has to be, because, well, Canada. Powered by magic maple leafs and unicorn dust, and taking off from Pierre Noel’s YUL Christmas airport.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eb33934963fd74eec1d7070b430e1ee62748127d1809e607ac2b7b1a957e42d4.jpg

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      See? Sonic Rainbooms are real!

    • tehbaddr

      Tahts teh minds cuntrols things they spreed in the atmosspheres!!!111!11!!11!!1

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    one of Niven’s laws keeps coming to mind:

    There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.

  • Shan

    Finally, someone used the word “ephebophile” instead of the usual “pedoplile” and I don’t have to look like so much of a pedantic asshole!

    *goes back to finish aryicle*

    • Resistor Radio

      Hahahahaha, you may be a pedant but I’m OCD about words I don’t know so tried to look up “aryicle” which I’m now guessing was a typo! :)

      • Shan

        Er, ok? Dunno where that word came from.

        • Resistor Radio

          The last line of your comment read “now I can return to aryicle” (instead of article I assumed, but not until after I tried to look it up). I thought at first it was a kind of international food dish I had never heard of and you were cooking.

          • Shan

            Sorry! My eyes are all dry and I can’t see in my phone.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Yup. I did not know that word but when I looked it up I was mighty pleased, ma’am, because I knew pedophile was not the right word but I did not know the correct one. Now I do! Thanks, Wonkette!

      As in, Michael Jackson & Jerry Sandusky are a different pathology than is Roy Moore.

      • Shan

        But still gross. And deserving of [refacted].

      • Shan

        Dammit, I can’t fix my typo!

    • Learning what the word ephebophile means makes me as happy as a pederast/korephile coming out of a daycare center.
      http://barkbarkwoofwoof.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Sarcasm-Sign-10-07-15.jpg

      • Shan

        Okay, well.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Wow, even TV’S Son of TV’s Frank couldn’t make those funny.

  • Bananas Foster

    I appreciate the recap, because if I watched that I’d probably sink into a depression that even cat videos couldn’t pull me out of.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Do you suppose that if we convinced wingnuts climate change would lead to a shortage of liberal tears they’d be spurred to action?

    • gene108

      No. They are driven by spite, but the people, who tell them what to think are driven by greed.

      And cutting carbon emissions is bad for the latter’s profits, and won’t tell the wingnuts to watch their carbon footprint to spite liberals.

  • bluicebank

    Obviously I’m no carpenter. E for effort in the long project. My best friend says I’m doing good, and somehow I’ll make it look like it’s no so crooked.

    VW Beetle ’74 dash project:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ea3bf6905fd19440ee3945349eb5eaae8bb570849e0042f3a6397d02c74a688.jpg

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Awesome!

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Better ‘n I could do. What ever possessed you?

      • bluicebank

        I needed to move forward the roll cage on the ’74 Baja Bug (’74 Super dash is too wide for a roll cage to go all the way forward, thus making it impossible to roll down the windows/windwings without opening the doors, which sucks). That meant re-doing the dash. Which meant me up and saying “in for a penny, in for a pound,” and decided to make a wood dash. I’m psycho that way.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          Change one thing, you have to change three more to accommodate it. Ran into that updating a 54 Studebaker body to a 56. And Studebakers are EASY.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      For a ‘non-carpenter’ you did a good job. There’s some VERY nice touches there. And heck, it’s wood, you can go back and work on it some more if you feel like. It’s far more forgiving than steel.

    • hudson

      amazing.

    • Rick Hill

      “…somehow I’ll make it look like it’s no so crooked.”

      As a professional cabinetmaking guy, I can tell you what I do. I keep a two by four handy. When someone notices it’s off, I whack them upside the head. You wouldn’t believe how effective that can be

      • bluicebank

        I was thinking some black foam between the center console and the glove box, which is consumed by the right front speaker. Above that will go a mini-glove box. I just hope I don’t get pulled over and a cop thinks it’s a hidden compartment, and fucks up my mesquite woodwork looking for secret Russian files … because that’s exactly where I would stash them.

        • Rick Hill

          Well, of course if you want to take the easy way, that might work too

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Cool. Nice work! Glad to find I’m not the only VW weirdo here.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’d call that pretty good for somepony who says they’re not a pro. Kudos!

    • Beautiful.

      Word to the Wise: That should never leave your garage, except on a flatbed to wherever you want to show it and then another flatbed ride back to your garage.

      Unsafe at any speed, compared to *any* modern car.

      And definitely not fast enough for modern freeway traffic.

      Many people survived their use. Those that didn’t aren’t posting here. 😉

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Oh, stop.

        • In crash tests, the “stop” part is where “issues” come up. 😃

          • Institute For Applied Despair

            Sigh. Yes. I know. Been driving the doggone squirrelly things for going on 40 years, there ain’t much to tell me about ’em I ain’t already knowed. Just like ’em, that’s all, like I like smoking and drinking and other silly, pointless and dangerous stuff.

            You know? Kicks!

      • bluicebank

        That’s what the 2110cc hot engine in the back is for.

        p.s. Ain’t nobody but a serious V-dub person can drive it, anyway. The trans is too tight for even me to easily find 1st and 2nd.

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          Try a new shift connector, or rather an old one that is renewed. The new ones are often misaligned.

        • OK, that engine eliminates the freeway issue. But safety wise, *any* modern car offers better crash protection. Your life isn’t worth the risk.

          • bluicebank

            Perhaps, but since my Baja Bug has a full roll cage and side bars, it’s probably safer, being as it’s rated for Class-5 racing.

            That is to say, it’s equipped to race the Baja 1000 (minus the 5-point racing seats, which on mine are only 4-point, yet better than your modern 3-point). Thus, my little Bug could take a hit better than most cars on the road, and easily take a roll-over. Also, any front-end crash hits nothing but metal, and a rear-end has to get through the engine cage.

      • Lefty Wright

        Still a lot safer than a motorcycle. Or a new Mustang GT in the hands of a 16 year old.

    • Arolpin

      I love the look, but I think you should use piano hinges above the glove box. It would make the entire thing look more finished, and it would be a nice bit of bling, assuming you stayed with brass.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Oh Alabama – you are going to live up to your reputation of being child-molestor friendly, aren’t you..?

    • Alabama traditions… killing young girls and molesting young girls. Voting for Doug Jones repudiates both of them.

    • tehbaddr

      But, they were family!

  • Picabo
  • persistently_resistant_gayby
    • Institute For Applied Despair

      I’m amused and heartened by the emerging and continuing use of the phrase ‘USAmerica’.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        America is a continent (named after another Italian explorer); the US stole the term all for its own self.

        I too was amused and heartened when, at the governors’ conference in Rhode Island this past summer, Justin used the awkward but adorkable construct “Usonians.” A term which, I found out later, was also favored by Frank Lloyd Wright.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usonia

        So he injected architecture into his speech, and also too the poetry of Wallace Stevens. Meanwhile, the illegitimate emperor of orange sherbet ice cream probably never heard of either of them, and wouldn’t care anyway because Frank never installed gold toilets in his houses and Wallace never sold insurance for Donnie’s golf course. Justin is a polymath; Donnie is a sociopath.

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          I have always wished to build a Usonian house. They are pretty magnificent.

        • JustDon’tSayProbably

          Named after a cartographer who never saw the place.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          I wonder sometimes what history would have been like if all y’all lived in the United States of Vespucci.

        • Arolpin

          Frank had way too much taste for gold toilets, but after seeing what a Frank Lloyd Wright house* sells for (and what they spend to renovate it back to original look and feel), he probably could have saved money doing so.
          *There is a beautifully restored FLW house about 2 blocks away that sold for $1.1 million for an 1800 sq/ft, 3br, 3ba, which is about 50% more than comparable-sized non-FLW houses go for.

      • Changeling

        Having family in South America it’s always hard for me to say American and mean USAmerican, so I tend to use that. Get yourselves a demonym!
        Or I’ll start calling you États-Uniens or Yhdysvaltalaiset.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
    • SisterArtemis

      I got one too – it’s pretty funny. I haven’t found people to play it with me yet, but just reading through the cards was pretty spectacular. Also too, according to this review from a couple of years ago, you apparently need little people to play the game with.
      https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/2016-10-13-15.25.10.jpg

    • tehbaddr

      No spoilers!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What’s left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars.”
    ― Bertolt Brecht
    https://youtu.be/PuvnOql6tKs

  • Rick Hill

    The picture NASA doesn’t want you to see!
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aGe4Bd7_460s.jpg

  • Scrofula

    Dammit Robyn, you end that shit story with Dr. Gunter’s blog? Her Roy Moore essay was awful enough, then I read her “saddest sorority/Mother of Three, Parent of Two” entry. Reminded me of my brief internship and the NICU ward.

    And that reminded me I quit drinking, for some reason I can no longer fathom.

    • redarmyzombie

      Probably your liver would have murdered itself by now…

  • Even IF what Roy Moore has done is no big deal, what part of the Republican agenda, which will result in a lower standard of living for all of those being interviewed, is considered a good thing by them? …Or, are they just listening to the people who influence them, or something?

    • jesterpunk

      Because it will piss off liberals.

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        ^^^This is exactly it!^^^

        The actually do not give a fuck about any consequences to themselves so long as it “pisses off Liberals.”

        • jesterpunk

          Governing by spite.

  • gene108

    “Another woman wondered why it is that they wanted all the immigrants to steal their jobs, “

    I heard it as “jobs they could have”, ie the blacks were not working, because they are lazy, and thus legal and illegal immigrants took all the jobs that should be done by blacks.

    • jesterpunk

      Where was she when Alabama tried an immigration ban like what Trump wanted and they had to undo it because farmers couldn’t find anyone?

      https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/8gk7nx/what-alabamas-failed-anti-immigration-law-can-teach-us-about-donald-trump

      • redarmyzombie

        Too busy with her head up her ass.

      • ManchuCandidate

        Like a white person is gonna pick cotton.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You know what they want as a solution to that. Blacks back on the peach-pickin’ plantation whether they want to be or not. To ‘Bama, Mexicans is just a stopgap answer ‘cuz them galldurn Yankees made it so you can’t buy yerself a good whippin’ boy without runnin’ afoul ah the law. They wouldn’t need Mexicans, if the Union race-traitors didn’t kill all them good ol’ boys on-accoun’ah Lincoln wanted to teach the slaves to read!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Sorry Frank, I know you’ve been a phlebotomist at this hospital for years, but we’ve decided to give your job to all the illegal immigrants.”

  • Rick Hill

    Well, I guess one thing the republicans are doing to help their base is to get government out of their medicare.

    • Resistor Radio

      Those idiots have been squawking about that for years!

      • Rick Hill

        Hey, RR. You’re looking…rested.

        • Resistor Radio

          Well hi Rick, how’s things? :)

  • Michael R

    MAGA

    In 2011, Alabama was ranked #1 for teen births among females aged 15-19.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      By that point, they’re old maids! -Cowboy Roy

    • tehbaddr

      As opposed to teen births 21-35? 0_O

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Unfortunately the more horrific teen births for 13-14 year olds.

  • Maclare’s Colosseum O’Crap🏛️
  • Whatevs

    Like someone else said, the WaPo should have given voters more time to process all of this when they still had choices. Not when folks were stuck with Moore. Especially not with 40-year-old allegations that can’t be verified. Don’t blame people for voting for Moore when the media played games.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is it the media’s job to vet candidates? Or is it their job to report on who’s been nominated?

      • Whatevs

        WaPo had this story in the bag well before they released it. They waited until the primaries were over. The same thing happened with Trump and the Hollywood Access tape.

        • jesterpunk

          So what you are saying is republicans suck at opposition research?

          • Whatevs

            No. Biased media playing games with elections. This is why people voted for Trump and are now voting for Moore.

          • jesterpunk
          • Whatevs

            It’s gotten to the point where people will vote for a candidate just to spite the media. If you can’t see that, then you’re being willfully ignorant.

          • jesterpunk

            So people are assholes and will vote for a pedophile and serial sexual abuser to stick it to the man? Dont blame the media for that blame the assholes who vote for those people. Even if the media did report it earlier the voters wouldn’t care and would still scream “fake news” and “biased lame stream media”.

          • Whatevs

            There’s no proof that Roy Moore did anything. The allegations are 40 years old and can’t be verified. The media waited until people were stuck with Moore before releasing them. It looks politically motivated and people are recoiling at that. You really can’t blame them. Did you pay any attention to what I said?

          • amrak63

            Well, let’s see–he’s a fundagelical, and an authority figure.

            Proof enough.

            And you’re blocked. You may not believe in it, but I do.

          • Whatevs

            If you blocked me, then I’ve won.

          • jesterpunk

            Nope, blocking you means we have had enough of your bullshit and don’t want to listen to you anymore.

            https://pics.me.me/by-the-power-vested-in-me-now-pronounce-you-blocked-6030320.png

          • Whatevs

            I’m not hurting anyone and you choose to respond to me.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You chose to parachute in here and be an asshole. But I’m not angry. Here’s a song for you! Happy holidays!

            https://youtu.be/6EmqsEHl3P8

          • Whatevs

            Because saying stuff you don’t agree with while not insulting you is being an asshole.It seems you don’t like a marketplace of ideas, not that I’m an asshole.

          • redarmyzombie

            Again, try having ideas to bring to your “marketplace”.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Based on your sudden and not delightful appearance here, I’m sorry to tell you this -You are, actually, an asshole.

          • redarmyzombie
          • Whatevs

            Spaceballs is great! I love it!

          • Whatevs

            Nice little echo chamber you’ve got here. It seems that an opposing viewpoint given in a respectful manner is some kind of aggressive act.

            Murica.

          • redarmyzombie

            Again, try having an actual viewpoint.

          • redarmyzombie

            Well Troll, this was fun while it lasted, but since you’re not responding anymore I’m guessing you’re done stroking your little pee-pee and went off to cry somewhere.

            Sayonara, and try better next time.

          • Whatevs

            Can you not say ‘dick’ in this forum? Why talk like a 4-year-old?

          • Whatevs

            I’m surprised that you think I would be insulted by what seem to be Anti-Christian videos. I’m Atheist, so nice try.

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh, the videos aren’t for you, they’re for the rest of us. But it’s cute that you think they are.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Why on earth would this person, and I use the term loosely, think I give even the slightest of fucks about their opinion?

          • redarmyzombie

            He doesn’t, he’s just here so he can get hit tiny wee-wee up and beat it off.

          • Whatevs

            Thanks, I’ve won.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You’ve won a fabulous Holiday song!

            https://youtu.be/8zyZhEQCzrk

          • redarmyzombie

            And sadness!

          • redarmyzombie

            Well, troll seems like it left, so blocked and move on!

          • vivian

            The prize is a box of ticks. Enjoy.

          • Resistor Radio

            I thought the traditional gift was ass lice?

          • redarmyzombie

            No, it just means you’re blocked and your existence is sad.

          • Whatevs

            By the way, it figures the guy who blocks me would stalk my profile.

          • redarmyzombie

            Sure. Your profile that’s on private. Soooo much stalking. Why, I am overcome with the vapors by all this stalking of your inaccessible posting history!

          • Whatevs

            How do you know my profile is private if you didn’t try to stalk it?

          • redarmyzombie

            Because it says “private” right there, dipshit. Now try again, but better this time.

          • Whatevs

            Well, I really could care less about looking at your profile, but you saw it as important to view mine, on the other hand.

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh I don’t care about your stupid profile. The fact that you think I do is cute.

          • Whatevs

            Then why did you look at it?

          • redarmyzombie

            Because the mouse I use to click things, moves. And sometimes, when the mouse moves, it moves OVER things! And when it moves OVER things, they sometimes SHOW stuff like your profile! And because I use my eyes, for SEEING things, I sometimes see thing the mouse SCROLLS over, because that’s how eyes work! =D

          • Whatevs

            Does it also click things for you too?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            We get trolls here. You are a case in point of that. So we check Disqus histories. Nothing wrong with that. And here’s a fun
            holiday song, just for you!

            https://youtu.be/3sKmHiGOv70

          • jesterpunk

            “So the media cant be trusted because they rushed a story and got something wrong and had to correct it” and “the media should release these stories as quick as possible”.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I love the winter holidays! Enjoy!

            https://youtu.be/DtlLHwk9_Rw

          • BMW

            Dozens of witnesses versus a guy who fumbles Sean Hannity’s softball questions about it? “No proof” indeed.

          • Whatevs

            Actually, Roy Moore played this about as well as he could given the circumstances. He never once incriminated himself.

          • redarmyzombie

            Except, you know, the times where he did.

          • tehbaddr

            Played it? He’s a fucking pedophile you moron!

          • Whatevs

            Even the author of this article didn’t dare call Roy Moore a pedophile. You need to read.

          • BMW

            I guess you are going with the argument that there’s nothing “illegal” about dating 16 year and 17 year olds, because Moore pretty much admitted that when Hannity interviewed him.
            https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/11/10/in-bizarre-interview-with-sean-hannity-roy-moore-says-he-didnt-generally-remember-dating-teens-when-he-was-in-his-30s/23273826/

          • Whatevs

            In most states, the age of consent is 16 or 17.

          • BMW

            Lots of things are legal that should morally disqualify someone from office. Also, one of the allegations is attempted rape, so there’s that. If Moore wants to convincingly refute these allegations, he should explain how the details of allegations aren’t true with specific information instead of this blanket “all those women are lying about me because they are paid by the dirty liberals at the Washington Post” ad hominem bullshit he’s been spouting.

          • Whatevs

            If you think that the age of consent should be raised then you need to argue and campaign for that, not bring it up just because you don’t like Moore. The fact remains that it is legal in over half the nation.

          • BMW

            (1) The age of consent should be raised, but regardless (2) cruising for teenage pussy in your 30s is still a huge warning sign there’s something mentally or morally wrong with a person even if it is legal. I refuse to concede he’s innocent of having naked time with a 14 year old just because he denies it. The answers he gave Hannity where he “didn’t incriminate himself” were full of holes. Hannity even said so before backpedaling on his ultimatum. Also, screw you for making me use Hannity as a source.

          • tehbaddr

            So, I’m guessing you date jail-bait as well.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            So releasing them several weeks earlier – when you have just stated that they are “40 years old and can’t be verified” would have mattered HOW, exactly? I think you are an idiot, and a troll. That is based on my observations of the horseshit you have been spouting.

          • Whatevs

            Well, in a race where there were options other than Doug Jones, it would have made a huge difference.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Then they really need to examine their priorities.

          • Whatevs

            Just this week, 3 ‘bombshells’ on Trump that the media was forced to retract and apologize for. Don’t blame people for knowing that the press can’t be trusted.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Yeah, okay.

            So, because the media is mean Alabamans are going to elect a virulent shitbag who agrees with Putin on the LGBT community.

            Fuck them and fuck you for excusing them.

          • Whatevs

            LGBT? What does that have to do with what I’m saying? Yeah, I get that you don’t like Moore and you’re elitist towards Southerners, but I’m telling you why people are voting they way they are, I’m not arguing policy positions.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            You’re telling me people are voting for a virulent homophobe and transphobe because f the media as if it’s an excuse.

            Like I said, fuck off.

          • Whatevs

            I’ve been civil with you. You apparently have quite a bit of hate in your heart. I just gave you an honest analysis, I didn’t even take a side other than one that was against the media.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            I’m deliberately not being civil for you because you’re excusing atrocious behavior based on some pet theory.

            You don’t deserve civility

          • Whatevs

            I’m telling you why voters will elect Roy Moore. That’s all I was doing.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            No, you’re telling me what voters are willing to excuse according to your own theories, and all it shows how they’re a pack of shitty scumbags.

          • redarmyzombie

            No you’re not. You came here to masturbate with your faux concern trolling, and the only one here dumb enough to fall for it is you.

            Try being a little honest for a change.

          • Whatevs

            I’m not a Democrat and I never was hiding that fact.

            How can I be concern-trolling when I don’t hide what I am?

            People don’t trust the media and that’s why Moore will win. It really is that simple. You can agree or disagree with that, but I’m not concern-trolling.

          • redarmyzombie

            Yes you are.

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh, and nobody here gives a shit if you’re a Democrat, Republican, or cassowary because it isn’t fucking important.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            True. You definitely don’t hide what you are.

            Here’s a nice song for you!

            https://youtu.be/kg2T3zRfIRc

          • Arolpin

            Ignorant shitbirds who grow up around inbred numptys, and believe the blatant fucking lies of their ‘faith leaders’ don’t trust the media, because liars with an economic reason to lie tell them that the media is lying.

            Here’s a simple question, who is lying on climate change? The media, along with 97% of the actual scientific community who studies this, or the climate change deniers? If you say the media, we can safely assume your IQ to be about where Alabama ranks on infant mortality.

          • Whatevs

            I wasn’t making a point about Christians. Pro-Tip: I’m Atheist.

            Also, Climate Change wasn’t part of my original analysis, either. That’s a separate issue for a different thread. I’m talking about why people are going to elect Moore. It’s because the media plays games. That hasn’t been refuted.

          • redarmyzombie
          • WomanInThePersistence

            The winter holidays are so lovely! Enjoy!

            https://youtu.be/FC8JA3NHmKE

          • Resistor Radio

            If only music could soothe the concern troll…it’s more fun when they’re ranting about joos and you can share Fiddler songs.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’ve been stockpiling holiday music. And I’d drop the “concern” on this one.

          • BMW

            3? The one about when they got a decryption key for the Wikileaks emails…what were the other 2?

          • OrG

            By that reasoning they would have voted for Hillary.

          • tehbaddr

            Retract what? please be specific and site references, asshat!

          • BMW

            “…It’s gotten to the point where people will vote for a candidate just to spite the media.”

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a6fe2a919c14588682bd2087b9799f006480127c5f6481b2f1be9f9808d38e8f.jpg

          • BMW

            I think what we don’t get is why people would vote for someone as morally repugnant as Moore to spite the media for how it treats Trump, who is also morally repugnant and a proven habitual liar.

          • Arolpin

            Because they are stupid. The media is telling the truth, the Republican party is lying. In this particular case, the lies COMING DIRECTLY FROM THE MOORE CAMPAIGN, you vermin-ridden cock-gobbler, include such gems as: The tax cut will help the economy, the tax cut will help the poor, Doug Jones will force you to abort your baby at 9 months, and all them bitches be lying.

            Fuck you with telephone pole (they call them telegraph poles in Alabama, because they’re fucking still in the 19th century).

          • Whatevs

            The media may or not be telling the truth and even if they are, they played games with the truth, so people don’t trust them. That’s why Moore wins. It’s why Trump won.

          • Lamb Urgini

            Trump played on peoples fear and ignorance ,
            and that’s why they voted for him .

          • SayItWithWookies

            Right — nobody had any idea that Trump was a serial sexual abuser, a terrible businessman, a pathological liar, a flaming narcissist and a completely ignorant racist fuck until after he won the Republican nomination. Damn that liberal media!

          • OrG

            Oh hell no. They vote for this shit because they’re racist assholes.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            The media reporting on Moore’s creepiness is the reason people are going to vote for Moore. Thanks for your thoughts. I will treat them with the seriousness they deserve.

          • Whatevs

            They could have reported it on it sooner when people still had choices in the primaries. That’s what I was saying.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Moore has been a ghastly excuse of a human being for years. And the worst people of Albama seem fine with that.

            Here, have a happy holiday song!

            https://youtu.be/hdf4Qcy1MEI

          • No. People are voting for Trump and Moore because they’re promising Armageddon and Jihad. Racist and corrupt.

          • Whatevs

            Armageddon and Jihad? That’s your counterpoint? hahaaha…

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            I can’t see why you’d say that. They’re excellent at opposition research – to the extent that ‘making up shit about the opposition and papering over our candidates crimes’ could be considered ‘research.’

        • Resistor Radio

          Your statement is based on…?

          • Whatevs

            Facts. Just because you don’t like what I’m saying doesn’t mean it isn’t sound analysis.

          • Resistor Radio

            So WaPo called you to let you know when they’d finished researching the article, and it was months before it was published?

          • SayItWithWookies

            [Citation needed]

          • redarmyzombie

            Maybe you should using, y’know, actual facts.

          • Red Richmond

            Facts not in evidence of any facts present in your posts. But Jesus thanks you for playing along!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/912ae34bfddf952f27faf2d24cf98f871a5ac420989b2e5d26491fc9f0415cc5.gif

          • Whatevs

            Praise Jeebus!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I am not understanding your point.

          • Whatevs

            The media had the Hollywood Access tape 10 months before they released it. They waited until a few weeks before the election to release it. That was done for maximum possible damage to Trump. They should have released it during the GOP primaries. I am telling you that people are tired of the media playing games like this.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Again, I appreciate your thoughts to the degree they are worth paying attention to.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Tired of the media? Why aren’t they tired of rapey pedo-bear politicians? I, for one, and sick of those mother fuckers. We can’t vote against the “media” but we can vote against political candidates. So maybe if your put upon voters who were so obsessed with Hillary’s Child Pizza Sex rings could work up a little bit of outrage about credible claims of sex abuse among their own politicians, we might take your faux concern trolling about the “media” seriously.

          • Whatevs

            To you, it’s not important to understand why your political opposition thinks and reacts to things the way they do. You just write them off as ‘Pedos’ and ‘Racists’ and other pejoratives. What’s important to you is defeating your opposition by any means necessary. The end justifies the means and you wonder why your opponents are taking the same attitude.

          • OrG

            You’re full of shit.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            They are pedos and racists and other shit. I welcome the day when they just fucking OWN it. They want to “Tell It Like It Is” but seem to be awfully sensitive about BEING TOLD like it is as applied to themselves.

            Whatever their or your arguments are, I don’t take you at your word. You are all full of shit. This isn’t about the Media. This isn’t about East Coast Liberals. Or Economic Anxiety. This is about the fact that they want to live in a swamp of racist backwards pseudo-Christianity and NOT be called out for being racist backwards pseudo-Christians. That is all. They have their own self-imposed inferiority complex and instead of trying to be better people polite society can empathize with, they double down on their worst instincts. So. Fuck them.

          • Whatevs

            You are just proving my point because you went straight to the pejoratives and cranked the hyperbole up to 11.

          • redarmyzombie

            Try having a point first, maybe then it could actually be proven.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Okay… I see what you’re saying now… Being called racist is worse then being the victim the racist. And being called a pedophile is infinitely worst then being the victim of a pedophile.

            “Racists” and “pedophile” are not pejoratives. They are words meant to describe truly odious things, like racism and pedophilia which you and Alabama GOP voters seem totally cool with it. Which is why I’m wondering why you won’t embrace the terms since it describes exactly what you don’t seem to have much of problem voting for. In sum, own it or get the fuck out of here.

          • Whatevs

            I sincerely doubt that most of the people in Alabama are either racist or pedophiles. I’m quite certain that most co-exist with other races in relative harmony and don’t like to see bad things happen to children. You could maybe argue that Alabamans, on average, are more ‘racist’ than others, I would cite evidence that quite a few people are racist everywhere, but most of them including people in Alabama probably don’t think about race most of the time.

          • redarmyzombie
          • Arolpin

            I’ve been to Alabama, I’ve lived in the south, I have no problem saying that the majority of whites in Alabama are racists. Hell, they’re not even trying to hide it, and you’re defending them. Got back to licking Drumpf’s anus.

          • Whatevs

            I’m sure you think about race more than most folks in Alabama. Who’s the racist?

          • I’m sure that if they elect a rapist to Congress, that they’re cool with rapists. Simple as that.

          • Red Richmond

            Trying to defend Alabama as being mostly not pedo/racist in a conversation about why they support and may well vote to the Senate a racist pedophile? Let me Google Maps where you can take that argument:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f3c0a4708df9576f4d40bb3d1159b8557cc69ffb701f9c8eaaf87dd13bca405.jpg

          • Whatevs

            I told you why they are supporting Moore. It’s because the media played games with these stories about Moore.

          • Red Richmond
          • You failed right at “To you…” Typical concern troll.

          • Red Richmond
          • Red Richmond
          • redarmyzombie

            He doesn’t have one, he just came here to stroke his tiny wee-wee.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ewwwwwwww……

        • BMW

          Did The Washington Post release a timeline of how research on the story unfolded that I am unaware of?

        • tehbaddr

          Well, seems we’ve got a live persistent one on the line!

        • Red Richmond
    • jesterpunk

      They have known about this for a while and don’t care. They are making excuses that the women deserve it or that its what Jesus would do because the girls are pure. Dont blame the media for them supporting a pedophile.

      • H0mer0

        Jesus wuzn’t into girls according to the Gospels (according to John.)

    • Lamb Urgini
    • Rick Hill

      Essept the more time the right has to respond, the more they are able to paper over allegations and blame libruls.

    • SayItWithWookies

      So true — it’s really unfair of the Washington Post to leave voters with a choice between a pedophile and the guy who convicted the KKK members behind the Birmingham church bombings that killed four little girls.

      • Whatevs

        WaPo knew about these allegations during the primaries, why didn’t they release this info then?

        • SayItWithWookies

          The voters know about the facts now. Let’s see them make an informed decision.

          • starfanglednut

            Hahahaha

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

        • jesterpunk

          Why didnt Luther Strange release them during the primaries? If the Washington Post can send people down and find this information why couldn’t he find it? Is it because republicans suck at opposition research and want to blame someone else?

          Why couldn’t the 18 or how ever many republican primary candidates release information about Trump before the primaries where over? It wasn’t exactly a secret? Is it the republican party sucks at opposition research?

          • SayItWithWookies

            The Russians hadn’t hacked Roy Moore’s email account.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Because they were still working on the story? Rushing into print can cause pretty serious problems, or haven’t you noticed?

        • BMW

          Other questions…why won’t the Alabama governor push the primary date back so Moore’s name can be taken off the ballot? Why won’t the Senate leadership commit to refusing to let Moore be seated if he wins? Why the hell isn’t someone else mounting a write in campaign?

          • YoBunnyBunny

            OOOh oh!!! I know: Everybody’s cool with this shit, right? Yeah, they’re all cool with Moore.

          • redarmyzombie

            And pedophiles in general.

        • Red Richmond
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        The fact that Jones put them good ol’ boys behind bars for just exercisin’ their natural God-given superiority against uppity cullered chillun’s at the negro meetin’ house means his candidacy is effectively a nonstarter. Moore would probably move up even further in the polls if he took credit for the bombing. We’re literally talking about Christian ISIS here.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Torn, I tell you. Absolutely torn between the choices.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      So the WaPo is responsible for this? And yeah, I’ll blame people for voting for Moore. The man has been a moronic sideshow for years.

    • amrak63

      Concern Troll is concerned. Concern Troll also keeps its activity private, so we don’t know where it’s coming from.

      Nice try, Concern Troll.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Nobody is “stuck” with Moore. They can vote for Doug Jones – or they can not vote at all. The notion that they do not have a “choice” is risible. In fact, everything you say is risible. Why don’t you go yank someone else’s chain? You are very, very boring.

      • Whatevs

        Doug Jones is not an option for a voter who is opposed to 3rd trimester abortion all the way up to ‘crowning.’ which is what Jones supports.

        • redarmyzombie

          So kiddy diddling>abortion. Got it.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Um, no. Congratulations! You are now blocked. Because you are a idiot. Who either knowingly lies, or is too damn stupid to stop regurgitating the bullshit you’ve been fed. Btw, 3rd trimester abortion is not a thing, you idiot.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Perhaps you should educate yourself about such right wing shibboleths as “third trimester abortions” before you come over here and start spouting your bullshit, you ignorant fucking troll:
          https://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/2016/10/debunking-the-mythical-nine-month-abortion/

        • Arolpin

          And now the lying liar breaks out the big lie. Fuck off, choke on a bag of dicks, and die lonely and alone.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            But what do you really think?

          • Arolpin

            I’m just getting warmed up. I know that this fucktrumpet couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were stamped on the heel. I feel that he would be more useful as a speedbump. I hope that he gets arrested in a sting trying to meet up with what he thinks is a 13-year old, but turns out to be a 13-year veteran of a sex-crimes task force.

          • Whatevs
        • You are an idiot and a liar.

        • Red Richmond
        • doktorzoom

          OK, well now you’re just plain full of shit. The HotAir article you link to cites Jones saying he opposed a ban on abortions after 20 weeks, which is quite different. If you believe the myth that women casually carry a pregnancy nearly to term and then frivolously decide to have an abortion, you’re either deluded or just plain lying in support of Moore.

          Nobody has a “just decided I don’t want the baby” abortion in the third trimester. Nobody. (For one thing, they cost upwards of $25,000 — that’s not an impulsive choice.) Those are wanted pregnancies that have gone terribly wrong, and either the fetus is not viable or the woman’s life is in danger. For an actual physician’s perspective, see this:

          Dear Alabama Voter, I’m an OB/GYN and Roy Moore is wrong about “ninth month” abortions.

          You’ve been arguing in bad faith throughout this thread, and now we’re showing you the door. Bye!

          — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

          • Whatevs

            He’s said that he is opposed to anything that challenges a woman’s right to choose. These statements about ‘after 20 weeks’ include up to the date of birth. The media will not challenge and ask him if he supports 3rd trimester abortion. It’s endorsement by exclusion. A shell game. Deceptive.

    • tehbaddr

      How long do you need to make a decision to not back a pedophile. I call you on a bullshit argument! Good day sir!

    • Changeling

      If you’re doing this for free, you’re a fool. If not, carry on, at least it’s a job.

      • redarmyzombie

        Hey, make some horsefucking jokes to see if he’s Russian!

    • Red Richmond
    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Hmmph. Not even interesting enough to insult.

      • redarmyzombie

        But is it interesting enough to mock is the question?

        (Not really, I’m just waiting for the washing machine to finish.)

    • Kooolest G

      Somehow shep smith knew uranium one was bullshit but yet everyone else at his network continued to push it, is that what you mean about the media playing games?

      • Whatevs

        Fox News? Really. That’s so 2008.

  • bbayliss
    • OrG

      Ooooh,gouhliani in prison too? Yes please!

      • jesterpunk

        We might need a bigger prison, can I suggest the state of Alabama?

      • Michael R

        He’s been awfully quiet lately .

        • SDGeoff3

          He’s been very naughty, and someone has put his muzzle back on.

        • Changeling

          Maybe he lent Trump his dentures? They looked familiar.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Savonarola, tossed upon a fire of his own making.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I was actually up late last night reading through Abramson’s threads over the past year… L’Affaire Russe really is a tawdry, tangled mess of treasonous shit weasels. I hope Mueller nails every last one of them.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Ghouli will be popular in jail for his drag outfit.

    • SisterArtemis

      I read thru the first 60+ of the tweet-segments of the story, will have to go back later to finish (leaving for the 2nd half of my workday soon).

      I’ve thought many times that Comey’s public statements were inconsistent with his generally reserved performance; the whole thing seemed out of character to me. Abramson’s piece goes a long way to building a case for why that might be so, and what Comey thought he was trying to prevent.

    • Resistor Radio

      Interesting thread, but I have a hard time believing that dirty NY FBI agents would sit on that computer, warrant or not. Like I bet they couldn’t wait to start digging through it.
      It makes more sense that they looked and didn’t find what they’d hoped, then sat on their findings to keep the investigation open as long as possible (and allow rumors and threats on True Pundit).

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Just because we could all use a laugh….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-4rhjO6xYg&t=0s

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      This is nothing if not lovingly and impressively constructed.

  • Laser

    “…a lotta Mamas and Daddies that’d be thrilled that their 14-year-old was getting hit on by a district attorney…”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c787685add43cb6f857ee1e08511e040afd8f2f90fb3bd7195a5754b6597b1da.jpg

  • Wuulf
    • SDGeoff3

      Genius. But we will never know who wrote this because he’s Haydn someplace.

      • Stulexington

        Don’t worry, he’ll be Bach.

        • Zyxomma

          You’re all on my Liszt.

          • amrak63

            Brahms away, punsters!

          • Resistor Radio

            I Ravel in all your puns!

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          In the meantime, just add the repair to the To-Do Liszt.

          • SDGeoff3

            If you need parts, put it on the Chopin Liszt.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Chopin, Chopin, Chopin… BROCCOLI!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mXIL_LKvvI

          • SDGeoff3

            I used to sing this at work. (I was unpopular anyway.)

        • SDGeoff3

          If’n he’s not too Bizet.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “When you’re a composer, they let you do anything. You can just walk right up to ’em and grab ’em by Debussy.”

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Forty years ago in Alabama, there’s a lotta Mamas and Daddies that’d be thrilled that their 14-year-old was getting hit on by a district attorney.”

    It was Idaho, not Alabama, but my ex-wife’s mom was pushing her to date some creepy old guy who had money. I think I’ll stick with my West Coast big-city liberal elitist values, thanks.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Where the values of the supposed moral folks actually play out in fewer divorces and fewer teen pregnancies?

      Count me in.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Where people don’t see their daughters as commodities.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And fewer STIs among the population!!! Win all the way around!

        Say hi, to everyone in Etowah County, AL!
        http://wiat.com/2017/09/28/cdc-alabama-county-has-highest-rates-of-certain-stds-in-2016/

        The CDC reports that more than 2 million new cases of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia were reported across America last year. At the top of their list, one East Alabama county has the highest per capita rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea in the entire country.

        One in every 24 people in Etowah County were diagnosed with chlamydia, and one in every 58 were diagnosed with gonorrhea in 2016 alone.

        • Mystery_Poster

          A result of abstinance only sex education.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            You don’t fail abstinence only sex education. It fails you.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          The USA is Charlie fucking Sheen and Donald Trump’s “Vietnam” as a country anyway. STDs are at an all-time high nationwide, and now some of them are treatment-resistant and don’t even respond to antibiotics. It doesn’t surprise me that the most “religious” areas are the worst… “south of the Mason-Dixon line.”

          But the other states where people feel liberated enough to fuck anything with a pulse as long as it also too consents (which, at the bare minimum, would require having a pulse… and being human) aren’t exactly bastions of sexual sanitation either. I don’t have the stats on the other countries that are even more liberated and libertine than we are, but, eh… I’m guessing Canada might not exist by 2100, because people there seem to really, really enjoy getting wet in a canoe?

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/903e8467ee32cf0ae76387e90979dd4ffb5487ee482e0d0035e1f443715e13b6.jpg

          I honestly don’t know why anyone wants to fuck anybody anymore anyway, knowing full well that you’re playing Russian roulette with your immune system. People are still willing to accept a lifetime of hell in their nether regions and all over their body — painful sores, blistering pustules, burning pee, AIDS — for seven minutes in heaven? Yeah, sex is cool, but is it really worth contracting flesh-eating bacteria?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with people?

      • SDGeoff3

        Yoo-hoo! How’s the air up there?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          It never got smoky or ashy. What about for you? Is that fire in Mexico out?

          • SDGeoff3

            Hi! Well, it went out for a while, but we noticed from the Coronado bridge that it is getting big again. We can smell it, and we noticed that on Thursday evening.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Isn’t that what the Human Genome Project was trying to find out?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Forty years ago in Alabama, there’s a lotta Mamas and Daddies that’d be thrilled that their 14-year-old was getting hit on by a district attorney.

    BRB, throwing up now…

    • Mystery_Poster

      Let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment and accept that “lots” of mommies and daddies, yada yada. That doesn’t mean that THIS momma or daughter wanted it. It’s a moot point.

  • tehbaddr

    Disqus so Borked!

  • redarmyzombie
  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    My kid is supposed to fly home from Columbus today. Her flight keeps getting delayed because of the snow. I’m trying not to get nervous, but yeah. This sucks.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Been there. Hugs.

    • jesterpunk

      There isnt even much snow outside, its only a few inches. Hope she can get home soon though.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Delay you say? Safety is in the air tonight and all will be well.

    • Doug Langley

      Probably nothing to worry about. The snow has stopped, and it’s not much more than a dusting.

    • Resistor Radio

      Next-day lasagna is even tastier!

    • hudson

      don’t worry. safety first. plus happy holidays.

      ps: nashville?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        No. Philadelphia. “Tennessee Rain” is the name of a Joe Strummer song :-)

        • (((Sedagive)))

          Ah.

          I’ve been reading your posts with a particularly awesome accent attached.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Alas, I am accentless.

          • (((Sedagive)))

            Me too ; )

    • hudson

      did she come?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        She just landed!!!!!

        • hudson

          happy holidays.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Thank you!!!! Same to you.

        • hudson

          thank you.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And if the NYT’s take on this is correct, even Alabamians are saying “JFC WTF?”

    • redarmyzombie

      Yeah, but what are they gonna fucking do about it?

      …Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.

    • hudson

      Hi Callyson, the link is broken.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Just fixed it–try again.

  • BMW
  • Joe Monte

    Are we now relying on Fran Luntz to help us get closer to the truth?
    GOD HELP US ALL!

  • Rick Hill

    Not certain if this young lady writes her own material but, Damn!
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aY40857_460s.jpg

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Doc’s Boise fire department has sent a truck here to help fight the fires. ❤️
    Tonight the sunset may look ordinary but the moisture in the air is a thrill and a comfort to see. It fills me with awe and gratitude.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2918472c894931ea7ffe1aca08bb6bd4326bdef8b5b218fc711629a53e433284.jpg

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Fire season sucks. Stay safe, honey!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        You too!

        • Phried Ω

          I used to live in Carlsbad. I would have bought tomato fields if I hadn’t been poor.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Well darn it all to heck.

      • Phried Ω

        Fire season is no longer a season here in California.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          I know :-(

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          It’s just “day that ends in Y” or “month with 28 days” :(

    • SDGeoff3

      And not to mention, breathing is easier.

    • Arolpin

      A lot of the coordination is probably being run out of BIFC (Boise Inter-Agency Fire Command). One thing Idaho is very good at is dealing with wildfires, mainly because they have so many of them.

      The BLM district where I fought fires was the second most active district in the US in terms of number of fires and acres burned in an average year. The only district with more activity was Alaska, the entire state is a single district.
      I went all over Idaho, Northern Nevada, Eastern Oregon, and even to Eastern Utah on fires. Some of the guys I worked with went to New Mexico, Texas, and the Oregon Coast. The pictures of the fire trucks on the beach with the trees just past the sand ablaze was freaky.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Holy what the that would be weird.

  • Angela Ruzzo
    • amrak63

      AMEN.

      • hudson

        RAMEN

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Lots of us have known this for a LONG time. It’s just being exposed to a wider audience now. An audience which doesn’t seem to care, mind you.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You could say, “many, many people are talking about it a lot more.”

        Or, a lot Moore.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          I could, but I thought I’d leave that to my fellow Wonketeers.

    • OrG

      Are they really getting that message? I hope so,but I’m not seeing a lot of evidence.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        No, because Americans aren’t really good at self-reflection.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          We’re TERRIBLE at it, in fact.

          Our national anthem is a racist war-porn ode to a war we fucking lost to CANADA.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      It’d be nice, but I wouldn’t count on it. Palestinians are still viewed as unequivocally evil because “9/11”, and Israel infallible and good, because Hitler. Even though Bibi hypocrite manifest-destiny Zionist warmonger Judaism is a perversion of Judaism also too. (…and his own son is a Nazi, how about that)

      • hudson

        palestinians had nothing to do with 9/11?
        it was all saudi/uae/egypt/pakistan enterprise.

        al zawahiri, bin laden, khalid sheik mohammad etc.. all islamic versions/ doppelgängers of bannon, miller types really. in a more familiar garb, same rhetoric and impulses though.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          No, I’m saying they just lump in all Muslims with “9/11” and don’t give a shit about Sunni and Shiite. The Israel factor adds an additional wrinkle creating a double bind, because saying something critical of Israel has been conflated with being a Nazi (even though there are plenty of Jewish critics of Israel). So, if you don’t want to be Hitler, you hate on the Palestinians and conflate them with Hitler. Not just any Hitler, but 9/11 Hitler.

          Going into detail about Anglo-American colonialism, and history dating back to WW1, and the breakup of the Ottoman Empire, and the British mandate for Palestine, and the Balfour Declaration, etc. etc., is just going to get a yawn and a “TL;DR” from impatient ADHD knee-jerk non-thinkers. Far easier to just kill ’em all and let God sort it out. It doesn’t interrupt football either, and can be done in the span of a commercial (or bathroom) break.

          • hudson

            thank you for saying this.

            plus also the other thing is also true too. blaming everything on colonialism. for all the claims of civilization how long are you gonna blame others. grow a pair and realize that the rest of the world is in different place.

    • hudson

      it’s onion type phenomenon.
      at the core there are people like moore, duggar, hinn, robertson etc. who are the actual perverts.
      and then there are strong supporters around them who support them because they like message.
      and then there are weak supporters who may not individually be fans of a hinn or a robertson, but generally like the idea.
      and then there are indirect supporters who couldn’t care less about these creeps or their ideas but are so opposed to the alternative, that they would rather side with them.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Speaking of creeps, Denis “The Ref” Leary says that he refused to be interviewed by Matt Lauer awhile back, because he got a vibe that Lauer was a “creepy, weasely guy.”

    So I guess that means Matt is a —

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      But he did do that movie with Kevin Spacey.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Hm, you’re right… Mebbe he avoided saying anything lest it be construed as an Irish Catholic from Southie saying a gay dude was a pedophile. Which is how Spacey’s own admission ended up conflating the two and why other gay people got understandably mad with him.

        • Tishalicious

          My husband will do a murder to me for not knowing this, but isn’t the Spacey movie “The Ref”?

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Yes. I always thought it was hilarious. Now, it’s just sad.

          • Tishalicious

            Glynnis Johns wins all the things in that film. But then, I’ve always loved her ^_^

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Yup. Another underappreciated alt-Christmas movie that… somehow just feels awkward to watch today.

            So does Die Hard, if only because he goes by the nickname “Roy” throughout most of the film and jokes about liking sequin shirts. (Roy Rogers libelz — someone send that memo to Moore.) And is arguably the epitome of that Rambo Ronnie “good guy with a gun” meme that feeds into the NRA’s deadly sales pitch. Hans Gruber was right about our bankrupt cowboy culture. Now he’s dead IRL and Bruce Willis turned out to be a gun nut.

            But at least none of them as far as we know were or are Kevin Spacey.

    • SDGeoff3

      I never tire of this.

  • Doug Langley

    Whew. I polished off at least a third of the turkey and tucked the rest in the fridge. Now the tryptophan is kicking in and I’m feeling r-e-l-a-x-e-d.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      You may now sleep the sleep of the just.

    • Arolpin

      How long did you end up cooking it? I can share my turkey enchilada recipe if you’re stuck with a lot of leftovers, it’s damn tasty.

      • Doug Langley

        A bit over 4 hours. Took the foil off after 3 hours. Thanks for the recipe, but I don’t have the energy for anything fancy.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Related, from a conservative NYT columnist:

    Why I Can No Longer Call Myself an Evangelical Republican

    …the support being given by many Republicans and white evangelicals to President Trump and now to Mr. Moore have caused me to rethink my identification with both groups. Not because my attachment to conservatism and Christianity has weakened, but rather the opposite. I consider Mr. Trump’s Republican Party to be a threat to conservatism, and I have concluded that the term evangelical — despite its rich history of proclaiming the “good news” of Christ to a broken world — has been so distorted that it is now undermining the Christian witness…

    Assume you were a person of the left and an atheist, and you decided to create a couple of people in a laboratory to discredit the Republican Party and white evangelical Christianity. You could hardly choose two more perfect men than Donald Trump and Roy Moore.

    Pretty much…

    • Phried Ω

      What tipped hum off? Did he just wake up after a 30 year nap?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        He’s trying to convince himself the things he’s attached to haven’t been garbage all this time, now that there’s no longer any hiding the stench of said garbage.

      • vivian

        It takes some folks time, I guess.

        • Rags

          To be a grudging bit fair, 4-5’s approval among Evangelicals is down 16% this year.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, we’ve been telling you this shit for years!!!

      As much as I appreciate (minimally) their finally coming around to see the big picture, for once, I would really like one of these ‘deep thinkers’ of the right to acknowledge that the pestilence has always been their on the right, and they were okay with it as long as they used dog whistles. This shit right here just sounds like disingenuous blither blather of a guilty mind.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Resistor Radio

      I am here for animal puns! Brb

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I don’t even want to know what motivated this tweet FFS:

    https://twitter.com/eclecticbrotha/status/939644294683643905

    • jesterpunk

      The DNC had its “unity council” meeting today.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        That’s right. I heard a lot of first timers were upset because they weren’t chosen for big jobs over people who had, you know, been there for a while like what typically happens with everything else in the real world.

        • jesterpunk

          Part of the thing they got the DNC to agree to was to allow independents to change their party affiliation the day of the election so they could vote in the primaries.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            I don’t know how I feel about this

          • jesterpunk

            I do, if you want to vote in the primary register a head of time. There where open primaries where people would vote in the other parties primaries to help someone they thought was weak win.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Caucuses for closed primaries or GTFO. I’m sick of the Bernie Bros who are OK with undemocratic institutions as long as their guy benefits FFS.

          • jesterpunk

            They want some caucuses but only in states they can win and they also got the DNC to cut the number of super delegates.

            https://www.npr.org/2017/12/09/569676712/dnc-group-calls-for-drastic-cut-in-superdelegates-as-part-of-nomination-process

    • wait! what?

      He was right. Fucking Ozzie Osbourne was right…

      • jesterpunk

        They are going to bark at the moon? Or they are on a crazy train?

        • wait! what?

          The end one:

          I’ve listened to preachers
          I’ve listened to fools
          I’ve watched all the dropouts
          Who make their own rules
          One person conditioned to rule and control
          The media sells it and you live the role

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      There was also this:

      Cutting off one's proverbial nose to spite one's face https://t.co/gJysjEauYs— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) December 9, 2017

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Fucking dummies. You know who else isn’t for a 15 dollar minimum wage or Medicare for All? Roy Moore. But he’s also against abortion, equal rights, gay rights, Medicare at all and on top of that he wants to fuck your daughters.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    “Forty years ago in Alabama, there’s a
    lotta Mamas and Daddies that’d be thrilled that their 14-year-old was
    getting hit on by a district attorney.” To be fair, those Moms and Dads looked upon that type of an affair as an opportunity for their family to escape the never ending cycle of inbreeding common to the region…a chance to improve the family gene pool, if you will.

  • gallbladder
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I thought he liked it when women get pissy.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        she’s too old

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Not his blonde Aryan ideal, either. A “dark Italian”.

    • SayItWithWookies

      All she had to do was use his name in every sentence — was that so hard?

  • Suse

    I really want to stab someone.

  • TundraGrifter

    This echoes the Trump White House’s responses to charge of Russian collusion. First it was denial, then it was partial denial, then it was “explanation, then it was “Meh – who cares?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Who’s Grace, and why is Peggy concern-trolling that Al is leaving without her?

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Peggy Noonan: Cloth-eared bint.

    • Rags

      ‘Character is crucial?’ WT everloving F??

    • SayItWithWookies

      A reminder for Alabama?! What — she thinks Roy Moore will resign with dignity?

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    These people have branded the entire population of their state as pedophiles/ephebophiles or endorsers of such people. I hope they enjoy their new found infamy.

  • Resistor Radio

    Both of my kittehs brought me a mouse today! Usually it’s one or the other but they’re quite proud of themselves. Turning up the tv volume to drown out the crunching noise.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      That is why I have dogs. The one time I saw a (live) mouse in my apartment I screamed so loudly I nearly made myself deaf, and I can’t imagine how I’d react to a dead one FFS.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Nothing like opening the front door and seeing a dead gift on the doormat.

        • A daily occurrence with three cats and two dogs.

      • Rick Hill

        Idk. Jack dawg Hill has caught a few of them and he mangles them and leaves them on the floor.

        • Resistor Radio

          Gotta teach him to finish them off!

      • Resistor Radio

        They’ve learned they can eat them, so there’s very little mess. When they bring me a bird that’s still alive though, that’s something out of a horror movie.

        • wait! what?

          Or skill. “Look! It’s still alive!” I always get the live ones and promptly throw them outside.

      • Arolpin

        My sister’s two cats have taught her dog (a Schipperke-mix, so has some ratter instincts) to catch mice and rats. It took probably a year, but the cats did teach the dog to hunt as part of their pack. (These are the same cats that spend an entire summer dumping dead possums on her pillow at 5am. And then they started dumping not-dead, just pretending to be dead possums on her pillow, which let to a number of 5am screaming fits; possums play dead for cats, they just hiss and show their teeth to people, which can be terrifying when they are 6 inches from your face.)

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          I saw one his in our shed once,; it wasn’t pleasant when 6 feet away.

    • Suse

      Yuck!

    • ahughes798

      Science has shown that a mouse is the most perfect cat food. So why isn’t there cat food made out of mice? Your kittehs are hard workers!

  • Rick Hill

    Well, once again the heat is off in the building where the shop is. I left my cap at the house, would it help if I just used bread bags on my head?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson