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Real Americans carry a flag, a cross, and a gun. Preferably several of each.

Roy Moore got a nice tongue-bath Monday from the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer in a radio interview, where the two explained that only evil people could possibly oppose Moore, duh. Along the way, Moore also suggested that George Soros is plotting against him, and like anyone else who hasn’t gotten saved, is going to hell. Not that the remarks had anything to do with Soros being one of those Globalist Jewish type people, why would you get that impression?

Fischer dismissed allegations that Moore had ever molested a 14-year-old or tried to rape another teen, saying they’d been debunked, and Moore agreed that he was simply an innocent victim of “pure hatred, and it’s pure spite and it’s pure evil and wrong.” He’s big on purity, you know, whether in his own character, the girls he “dates,” or the evil of his opponents:

Moore said that people in the Washington establishment “do not want me to take the truth of our Constitution and our God to Washington, D.C.” He said the attacks on him are evidence that “immorality permeates every aspect of our society” and the only way to bring back morality is for the country to acknowledge that Almighty God is the “true source” of morality.

Which is to say, it was a Monday. Then the conversation turned to a Breitbart story claiming that a “Soros army” of radical leftists (the only kind there is) has been frantically registering convicted felons to vote, because isn’t it obvious that any voter registration drive has to be aimed at evil people? Moore actually took a pass on condemning felons, which was nice of him, saying he thought some felons might actually deserve to vote. Oh, but that Soros fellow, he is a nasty piece of work, Moore said, what with all the not being really American and his failure to recognize God:

Soros certainly is trying to alter the voting populace, that’s true. He is pushing an agenda and his agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need. It’s not our American culture. Soros comes from another world that I don’t identify with. I wish I could face him directly. And I’d tell him the same thing. No matter how much money he’s got, he’s still going to the same place that people who don’t recognize God and morality and accept his salvation are going. And that’s not a good place.

Yep, those Jews really aren’t saved, now are they? Not that Moore said anything about Jews, so if anyone asks he was just repeating Jesus’s message that all must come to Him, nudge-nudge wink-wink. Also, is an accused child molester anyone to be complaining about an agenda that’s “sexual in nature”? Poor Roy just can’t help himself, can he?

A conservative never-Trump outfit, the Reagan Battalion, heard and decoded the dog whistle just fine:

Sure, George Soros is evil and bad for America, but GOOD Republicans don’t say the part about his being Jewish and unsaved quite so loud, dear.

In the old-fashioned politics of a pre 11/9/16 world, we might expect the Moore campaign to issue a rote denial that Moore meant anything other than that Americans must all humble themselves before God, but now, we don’t even know whether they’ll bother. After all, he’s a solid vote on tax cuts.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money. It’s always about money with us, isn’t it? Speaking of, Doug Jones needs your support, too!

[RightWingWatch / Haaretz]

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  • Scooby

    If Jews go to hell then Jesus must be in hell.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      He gets special dispensation as he was the first Jew for Jesus.

      • Scooby

        Would that be called Jews for me?

        • richardgrabman

          Scooby-Jews, of course.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And on the third day, Jesus played His Get-out-of-Hades-free card.

  • MynameisBlarney

    These goddamned republicans.

    Fuckin tedious.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Yeah. People that go on about the banality of evil seem to forget all about the fucking tedium…

  • La forza del resistino

    Leave Soros alone. He still owes me $150 for my marching

  • OrG

    Serious question-What DOES George Soros actually DO that gets their panties in a wad?

    • Nounverb911

      Exist!

    • mackafritz

      Nothing. He’s just someone they can howl about.

    • puredog

      Supports liberal causes with money. Kochs? Adelson? IOKIYAR.
      Also, joo. Adelson? See above.

      • CripesAmighty

        George has the temerity to do it openly and transparently. The Kochs, et.al did it the right way–hiding behind fake foundations and opaque PACs until the press busted them out (back in the early 2ks).

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He jews.

    • Edith Prickly

      Just one of many names they’ve turned into a trigger for the howler monkey squad. Soros, Alinsky, Clinton, and so on…

    • GoutMachine

      Giving money to liberal causes + Joo = evil conspiracy/cabal.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    Wait, I thought it was the Gays, Socialists, and Liberals that were conspiring against him? Now he’s gonna blame the Jews? WHY CAN’T WE GET CREDIT FOR ANYTHING?!!?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Gas, ass or grass; no credit.

    • ziggywiggy

      Don’t you know? You guys are IN CHARGE.

  • Nounverb911
    • Relativicus

      It’s just “perverts”, DPRK.

  • Michael R
    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Everybody run!

    • Pilotshark

      KellyAnn on her wedding day? exchange vows.

      I said you will marrie me or you get the Bowling Green treatment.

  • ManchuCandidate

    George Soros’s coming to get you. He’s gonna make good old boys into kosher eating Jewy McJewersons! He’ll eat your kids and feed their privates to the goats. He’ll take away your bacon and guns and give you single payer Healthcare instead. He’ll try to date your underaged daughters…uh he won’t do that.

    Vote for me, Roy Moore. Not Kosher since 1865!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Also supported by Treyf Gowdy.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      “Jewy McJewerson?” Is that an Irish name?

  • Nockular cavity

    Soros comes from another world

    Wait, so…Jews are aliens?

  • Michael R
  • Daniel Hooper

    “No matter how much money he’s got, he’s
    still going to the same place that people who don’t recognize God and
    morality and accept his salvation are going.”

    Do you need to recognize God AND morality together to avoid going to that place? If so, then I guess by your logic, Mr. Moore, you’ll be seeing Mr. Soros there since you seem to struggle with that whole, “morality” thing a bit.

    • TJ Barke

      Naw, Roy’s god thinks raping little girls is a-okay so long as Roy asks for forgiveness.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m confused. I thought Jews recognized God, what with being his chosen folks. I hear he’s quite fetching in a yarmulke.

      • Daniel Hooper

        Well, obviously they’re wrong, because Roy Moore is obviously not a Jew, and he’s certainly the person God would just LOVE to have representing him, right?

  • LesBontemps

    Pffft. If Roy Moore really wanted to scare Alabamians about the Jew Agenda, he’d tell them we’re coming for their pork products. (Conveniently works with Moose-Limbs, also too.) The terror of a bacon ban would certainly get Bubba to the polls.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Moore 2017: Make me a hamm sammich.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Especially if they also take the white bread and mayo.

      • GoutMachine

        “Alright, I’ll take Hamm on five, hold the Mayo” – Capt. Oveur.

        • La forza del resistino

          You want grits on the side?

          • Bobathonic

            You got cheesy grits?

          • TakingAmes

            Always. Thanks. Only if cooked with enough salt, tho.

          • Querolous

            Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

  • Oblios_Cap

    only evil people could possibly oppose Moore

    Odd. I’ve never thought of myself as evil. But then again, by their logic, I’m going to H-E-double hockey sticks, so maybe I am.

    • MynameisBlarney

      If opposing rape, pedophilia, fascism and theocracy makes me evil.
      Then I’m one evil SOB.

      • GoutMachine

        Ayup. Sign me the fuck up.

  • Michael R
    • Daniel Hooper

      You’re saying Trump would empathize with diseased bags of flesh that do nothing to help and only hurt their hosts while making themselves larger and more prominent?…

      …Yeah; I could buy that.

    • La forza del resistino

      only after investigating the Clinton Foundation’s role in the cover up.

  • GoutMachine

    Gee, we leftists are really shit at global conspiracy if Trump and the GOP are in charge.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Yeah, and one questions the efficiency of the Clinton Death Squads, too.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        If Obama hadn’t grabbed all the guns, they would be okay.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • Mary Theresa

    “I wish I could face him directly”

    LOL…No man to man? Lesson learned from Jimmy Kimmel.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      So Roy can wag his little pee shooter at George…

  • Gayer Than Thou

    You guys, I am totally going to get fired. I’ve been binge-watching Project Runway, and haven’t registered a single Alabama felon! And I didn’t even have a high quota. I’m never going to get my Soros bucks now.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Vote early and often, then…

    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah, but you’re gay, right? That’s gotta count for some bucks.

      • GoutMachine

        Is that like being an Alaskan and getting oil royalties?

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Last I checked, registering felons was an optional item on the agenda, so they might be ok.

        • Bobathonic

          As long as he turns someone gay – that’s like registering 10 felons and doing an abortion.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        You’d think, but now that it’s trendy, it’s not that unusual anymore.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I’m waiting for my Obamaphone to charge and I’m gonna rat you out to the North American Union troops. They’re going to take you to your nearest FEMA internment camp. You’ll see.

  • msanthropesmr

    I guess it’s really hard to pronounce (((George Soros)))

    • puredog

      Rully. Twenty-seven syllables.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Fuck your god, Roy, and fuck you.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The candidate speaks:
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/roy-moore-jimmy-fallon-campaign-slogans_us_5a27c0f1e4b044d16725ecd1?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009
    Patton Oswalt Impersonates Roy Moore, Unveils More Fitting Campaign Slogans

  • DerrickWildcat

    Fairhope doesn’t sound very convincing.

  • schmannity

    If Soros wanted to affect the electoral process, he should hire the FSB.

    • GoutMachine

      Or, really, just a Russian troll farm.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      They’re already working for Drumpf.

  • Not that I doubt the antisemitism, but that’s pretty much what they think is going to happen to everyone. Jews? Hell. Muslims? Definitely Hell. Catholics? Hell. Orthodox? Hell? The wrong kind of Protestant? Hell. Liberals? You better believe they’re going to Hell.

    Unless you believe exactly as they do in all aspects of your life, God is going to set you on fire forever, but remember He loves you so much that He killed Himself to save you from the things He’s planning on doing to you.

    • GoutMachine

      I can back that up, as someone who was taught that viewpoint while growing up.

      • nightmoth

        It’s almost like an abusive boyfriend: “I love you SOOOO much that I’ll hurt you if you don’t love me back.”

    • TJ Barke
      • kilgoretrout

        Not a lot different from the protection racket the mafia ran.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        I love this.
        A former Born Again, I left the church during a gay/lesbian battle. I realized that a God who would create gays/lesbians and then shame them was not a god I wanted any part of. If that meant I would go to hell, so be it (which is good, because my late husband was Jewish, so according to Moore, at least, I’ll be meeting him there).

        • Shan

          But that’s why they have to call gayness a “lifestyle” choice and claim it can be cured.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Then they shame them and make money off of conversion therapy.

        • Cornelius Fussbudget

          My mother was actually in a convent, training to be a nun, when she left the Catholic church. Her sister (my aunt) was being excommunicated for divorcing her physically abusive husband after he damn near killed her. So, I wouldn’t be here today writing this comment if the Catholic church didn’t side with domestic abusers a few decades ago.

        • That’s Calvinist theology for you – God creates some people literally knowing he’s going to send them to hell.

      • nightmoth

        Absolutely one of my favorites! And I still self-identify as Christian, although christianists make it damned hard to do so.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Hypocrites must get a free pass, judging by how these guys tend to live their lives.

      • Well, yes. Because salvation is all about faith, all you need to do when you sin is tell Jesus you’re super sorry, and it’s all good.

        • Bobathonic

          Non-Evangelical mileage may vary.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Doing Good in this life is for Papist saps. Have Faith and you can fuck all the teen girls you want.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Hell exists for those that believe in it, with a special place reserved for those who are afraid if they don’t they’ll go there. And also too, hell hath no power over pagans, so I ain’t worried. Dear old Roy (bless your heart), whatever happened to Matthew 7:1 – you know, Judge not, lest ye be judged – ?

      • PubOption

        He judged, and was judged not fit for the position.

        • Querolous

          Twice!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I’m starting to believe these guys actually worship Cthulhu, considering just how cruel they’re hoping their god is.

      • Part of the appeal of the idea of Hell is the seeing the people you hate suffer while you gloat.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s perfectly logical.

    • Katamount

      Basically everybody that don’t take Chick Tracts seriously are going to Hell.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I try to imagine having to listen to this mope along with Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Mitch McConnell and my brain immediately throws itself into siege mode.

    • schmannity

      The GOP has a deep bench of dim wits.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        It’s called their Base.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Always has, especially since Reagan.

  • kilgoretrout

    Why are they always picking on the juice? – OJ

  • He’s not “worried” that his opponents are allegedly going to Hell; he’s *gleeful* about it.

  • Joe Beese

    Even speaking as a Jew, Moore’s anti-semitism isn’t even in the top 5 most objectionable things about him.

  • Spurning Beer

    For those of you who aren’t familiar with the area, Fairhope, Alabama is an small, upscale city across the bay from Mobile. It is known for its large annual arts festival, and the artsy and cultured tone of the place in general, with galleries and ethnic restaurants all over the place. It is where every white Alabamian aspires to retire. They would not allow a Walmart store to locate too close to the city limits, as un-Alabama-like as that may sound. And that is where Judge Roy came to wave his pea-shooter, and came back with his buddy Stinky Steve last night.

    • Wonky McUbtrye

      So, Alabama’s Eagleton?

  • cmd resistor

    So now Soros has an “agenda that is sexual in nature,” whatever that means.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      As a Godless Soros libetard, I would like to learn more about the sex agenda. Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

      • cmd resistor

        I’m just surprised this is the first I’ve heard of it.

        • kilgoretrout

          Mary in accounting was supposed to write the agenda but forgot.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Oh, so many responses…

          • SpideySenser

            Isn’t that the same one who lost 18.5 minutes of Nixon’s tape?

      • janecita

        Are we going to receive more money if we promote his sex agenda?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Sign me up!

      • kilgoretrout

        Point of order. I move we chant “Sex Agenda” over and over at the beginning and end of our next meeting.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Probably something about making more Jews, the old-fashioned way.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        If it ain’t broke…

    • Katamount

      Given that these weirdos conflate homosexuality with being sex-obsessed, did he just call Soros gay…?

    • Werewolf

      Old Nazi trope-Jews are all rapy perverts.

  • Baconzhurtzin’

    This dude is kinda a dick.

  • Relativicus

    I thought we’d moved on to Bezos?

    • Edith Prickly

      They never move on, just add another name to the list.

      • kilgoretrout

        Yeah they might start tattooing numbers on their targets to keep them straight.

  • Shibusa

    Well, the fact that a known child abuser might well be the next junior Senator from Alabama, and that most of the Republican party is okay with that, is a clear indication that “immorality permeates every aspect of our society.”

    • bbayliss

      All the way to the top:
      “I did try & fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. I just start kissing them. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything—grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” Donald Trump

  • La forza del resistino

    no Roy, you still can’t place your 5 ton Ten Commandments display on the Senate floor

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Is Mueller knocking on the White House door now?

    Donnies latest.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/938422792080457731

    • Shibusa
    • cmd resistor

      Ok, whatever. Getting ready for the 11 am intelligence briefing and then the 11:30 cabinet meeting?

    • GoutMachine

      Folks at the White House are sure shitting bricks. Apparently everyone’s paranoid that everyone else is wearing a wire.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        That’s probably not paranoia.

    • Shan

      I’m reminded of the brain damaged soldier in The World According to Garp. Pretty soon, Trump will be reduced to only being able to bark “MAGA!” repeatedly.

    • Rags

      “Daisy, Daisy, giive meee yoooourrr annnnnswerrrrrrr tooooo……..”

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Open the pod bay door, Don.

    • TakingAmes

      Why is he yelling at me?!?!?

  • If there’s a God, and is as hateful and punishing as Moore and those like him believe, then that God is Evil and should be opposed, as should His followers and apologists.

    If there’s a God, and is not like Moore and those like him believe, then they have gone badly astray in “justifying” their evil beliefs and should be opposed.

    If there’s no God, then Moore and those like him should be opposed for their evil beliefs.

    There is no scenario in which Moore and those like him should not be opposed. “Justifying” evil beliefs and actions by belief in an Evil “God” is no justification at all.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Republican/Supply Side Jesus.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      According to the Bible, God made Man in his own image. Men like Moore have made a God in their own image.

    • Interesting question. What does it mean to “oppose” an omnipotent being? Someone bigger and meaner than Galactus and Unicron put together? Wouldn’t it be wiser to grovel?

  • Covfefe

    Roy may wish he cud face Soros directly, but he doesn’t wish he cud face Doug Jones directly

  • schmannity

    Why, it’s almost a coordination! The latest from the Daily Stormer:

    Another Bitch Accuses Good Natured and Gentle Rat Kike Al Franken of Molestation Attack.

    • puredog

      I haz a confuse. Am I supposed to be on the side of the bitch or the gentle rat ike?

      • schmannity

        Just hate everybody. It makes life so much simpler.

      • TakingAmes

        Defense. They’re cheering for defense here.

  • Ron Spangler

    Is the DNC and/or DSCC funnelling $ and bodies into Alabama to help Jones? Serious question. I know at one point they were taking a pass (typical) but have seen nothing on the subject since Moore was outed as a pedo (ALLEGEDLY).

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Money, yes. But I think they are still resistant to “parachute” help because of the “damnyankee” factor.

      • puredog

        Wonkagenda reports that the RNC has sent him fifty whole thousand dollah, enough to buy 100,000 votes in Alabammy. We’re doomed.

  • nightmoth

    The American Patriarchy Association. That says it all.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      “ew, gross,” is all i can say.

  • Nounverb911

    No Roy, the National Mall isn’t THAT kind of mall!

    • GoutMachine

      We should ban him from it anyway. There are enough young girls there on any given day.

  • Katamount

    *sigh* It still floors me that people actually believe this nonsense. It must take a lot of work to maintain the Christian persecution complex. Hell, not even Christian persecution, just Protestant persecution (a twisted part of me actually misses the anti-Catholic rhetoric).

    • GoutMachine

      Not even Protestant persecution – the Mainline Protestants (e.g., Episcopalians, Methodists, etc.) don’t do this shit.

      • Katamount

        I was thinking of narrowing it down to just Southern Baptists, but there’s gotta be some Pentacostals that play this garbage too….

      • Hesavebread!

        Steady with the “mainline” there fella, Episcopalians are dangerously Roman to us lapsed Presbyterians.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Or as the old joke goes, “Catholic lite. All the ritual and one tenth the guilt”.

          • Arolpin

            Always read down-thread, always read down-thread, always read down-thread. Sending you a virtual Coke.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I usually do. Honestly, I feel like everything is too depressing to do much reading right now. My apologies to whoever’s thunder I stole.

          • Arolpin

            No, I stole you thunder. I posted almost exactly what you did, right on top of your post. I are an moran today.

          • Hesavebread!

            I have a client who is a CofE vicar who regards the current Canterbury as “worryingly modern”. He is a lovely guy, but I probably only think that because we never discuss politics or religion.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            It is ok. We are all a little well, not ourselves right now.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          And they’re not even HIGH-church Anglicans. (That’s what I was brought up as. Our motto was ‘Everything But The Latin!’)

          • Arolpin

            All the ceremony, half the guilt is how I learned it, and I was just an American Episcopalian, with hippy liberal priests mostly. (There was the one priest who ended up converting to some ultra-orthodox version of pre-Vatican II Catholicism, but we all knew he was strange.)

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Funny, so is ICE’s!

  • I’ve said this before, and will continue to do so:

    If I were the Devil as people like Moore believe exists, I would have been working tirelessly to steer Christianity to basically what we see in the “Fundamentalist” / Evangelical Christian movement today.

    They “justify” evil by celebrating belief in Evil.

    If one can’t tell the difference between the church of God and the church of the Devil, then the Devil has won.

    Now, I don’t believe either exists, so when it comes down to it, the followers of evil don’t even have the “justification” that “God says so.”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The fundevangelicals have also done more to turn Americans away from Christianity than any satanic cult could ever accomplish.

  • beatbort

    Any truth to the rumor that Roy Moore’s new campaign song is “Aqualung”?

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      The congregation will now turn to Hymn 43.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_LF9NFKPlo

    • kilgoretrout
      • Frenchie Renard

        My previous karaoke go-to. Never again.

    • Chyron HR

      That’s a tired joke for unsophisticated plebeians.

      Roy Moore’s campaign song is “Everyone’s Gone To The Movies”.

    • Werewolf

      “Alabama Song”-🎵”Show me the way to the next little girl, oh, don’t ask why…”🎶

  • Shibusa
  • janecita

    Dear Lord, your so called “followers,” are working for Satan. Thanks to their efforts all the good, decent, moral people of this world want to go to hell. We definitely don’t want to share heaven/eternity with a bunch of terrible sanctimonious bigots! Fuck, it is bad enough that we have to share oxygen with them here on earth! Please Lord, clean up your fucking house!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      R’amen.

      • proudgrampa

        May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Thank you, you too.

    • proudgrampa

      Now I lay me down to sleep
      I pray the Lord my soul to keep
      If a car should roll before I wake
      Please O Lord, put on the brake!

      Except for Judge Roy (with votes, of course!).

  • Shibusa

    BTW the headline made me LOL, Dok.

    • doktorzoom

      Thank Rebecca for improving it! (She added the part in parentheses)

  • SpideySenser

    “He is pushing an agenda and his agenda is sexual in nature…”
    HO boy, for a guy so concerned with purity he sure does yack about sex alot.

    • Mavenmaven

      …He’s pushing in that agenda hard, down people’s throats, and then pushing it in again, and again…

  • Mavenmaven

    For all those suckered in by that “judeo-christian” line, here’s the wakeup call.

    • kilgoretrout

      Abrahamic is too big tent.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        ‘Christian’ is too big a tent.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Tents are too big of a tent. Refugees live in those, you know…

  • Spurning Beer

    Okay, I’m convinced. Roy didn’t do anything wrong, and should be allowed back into the Gadsden Mall.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Autocorrect’s gone on the blink again. It”s saying Mall instead of Jail.

    • kilgoretrout

      It is a travesty that he can’t shop for Christmas presents there.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    Moore isn’t some old crank who will make a fool of himself in office: Moore is the bellwether of Gilead. The fact that the GOP is openly embracing him means that they have gone full-on Biblical apocalyptic, and there is no crazy crazier than that. That is stage 4 crazy. The only way out of that involves saying something that cannot be mentioned in these non-comments.

    (((But then again, I’m Hell Spawn, so what do I know?)))

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      How come they never get (((Jesus Christ))) right?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Let Woody Guthrie explain;
        ‘This song was written in New York City
        Of rich man, preacher, and slave
        If Jesus was to preach what He preached in Galilee,
        They would lay poor Jesus in His grave.’

    • Lance Thrustwell

      ♫Good morning, Hellspawn
      The Earth says hello…♫

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Soros certainly is trying to alter the voting populace, that’s true. He is pushing an agenda and his agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need. It’s not our American culture. Soros comes from another world that I don’t identify with. I wish I could face him directly. And I’d tell him the same thing. No matter how much money he’s got, he’s still going to the same place that people who don’t recognize God and morality and accept his salvation are going. And that’s not a good place.

    That might have come right out of an issue of “Der Stürmer.”

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      It didn’t?

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Moore really should know better than to invite discussion of the morals of “godly” people.

    http://religionnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/webRNS-JIM-BAKKER-080317.jpg

  • mancityRed6

    “I wish I could face him directly.”

    at least we know Fruit Salad still thinks like a 14 year old.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      He’s got to act tough to impress them 14 yo laydees.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “He is pushing an agenda and his agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need.”

    Uh…aren’t Roy Moore, right wing fanatics and religious whack jobs pushing an agenda? one that is sexual in nature? (it’s always bad, speciall those homos and the single sluts) isn’t there agenda conservative? (it’s a campaign talking point). Is it what americans need? I think not.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    So many “thou shalt nots”, so little time. https://twitter.com/rudepundit/status/938429304979050497

  • La forza del resistino

    Unlike black, brown or yellow people, those Jews are sneaky in that you can’t readily spot them. Mazel tov Judge Roy.

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    Sorry, Roy, but Judaism doesn’t have a concept of ‘hell.’ That was an invention of you kindly, peaceful Christians.
    Oh, and a fashion tip: you’ll NEVER be known as ‘The Alabama Kid,’ so you can put away your cap gun and start dressing like an adult.

    • TundraGrifter

      One of the interesting things about Islam is that a mosque isn’t consecrated. There’s nothing special about that particular place versus any other because God is everywhere. The pointer toward Mecca is helpful, of course, but if the devout follower carries a compass you don’t really need that. And it makes the “Victory Mosque” garbage an obvious lie.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        That is something I didn’t know. Fascinating. A completely different concept of ‘sacred space.’

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      They have Gehenna and Sheol…. so there’s that…

      • twaingirlie

        Sheol isn’t hell. It’s just a place you go when you die, like Hades (and the Greeks were the ones who interpreted the Hebrew as Sheol like Hades).

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        ‘Doesn’t sound like a good Christian place like Hell to me.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Yes it does. Kokomo, Indiana. They call that a bagel?!

  • ZangoCrudmonger
  • TundraGrifter

    Moore said that people in the Washington establishment “do not want me to take the truth of our Constitution and our God to Washington, D.C.”

    If “the truth of our Constitution” is that you only have to follow the parts you agree with. When you’re in the mood.

    • Hesster

      Much like they treat the Bible, actually.

  • WeaselPoo

    There are good reasons Jesus manifests himself in food, his mum in stains on concrete and lumber, while God makes his will known through indiscriminate disasters and hand picking incompetent moronic lying grifters as His lieutenants—they are all one and the same mutations of some quantum mechanic created by fuck knows what.

  • NastyBossetti

    I’m at a very confusing point, where I’m starting to think that Soros might not even exist and is really just a bogeyman invented out of whole cloth by the right. It’s like that thing that happens when you say a word a bunch of times in a row and it starts to feel and sound like it’s not a real word anymore.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    He is pushing an agenda and his agenda is sexual in nature

    George Soros is investing in porn now? Good to know!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a5701987ba232f6eaadb91bdf5385a8091ca65a2d612ff328ea0e55de8ec17af.png

    • phoenix00

      It is free on the internet, so it’s a bit dubious long-term. Soros is smart enough for that I hope?

  • VirginiaCannedYuleLog

    I don’t see why Moore feels the need to bring god to DC. Did Pense, Huckabee, Sessions, and the rest of them xtians forget and leave god at their respective homes? Is he saying that none of the GOP xtians have god with them? I believe that, and I do not want to meet the god he’s carrying around with him.

    • gene108

      I never get this about right-wing Christians, who keep saying the courts have kept God out of school, or he needs to bring God to D.C.

      God is omnipotent and omniscient.

      None of our acts should have the ability to dictate where God can go.

      I think right-wing Christians are selling their God short, with regards to His powers and crediting too much the agency we humans have over God.

      • C4TWOMAN

        It’s as if they don’t actually believe this tripe and are cynically using religion to promote regressive politics…

    • theblackdog

      DC has Catholic University of America and the National Cathedral. Methinks there’s plenty of God there already.

      • cleos_mom

        Almost all of those who refer to themselves as “God’s people” hate the National Cathedral almost as much as the denomination that operates it. Gawd something-something same-sex weddings. They were happy as porcines in offal when that earthquake went down.

        • theblackdog

          I’m not surprised unfortunately because how dare the Cathedral and the Episcopals actually try to be Christians. Luckily it’s almost fixed up after that earthquake.

    • phoenix00

      You can never have just one!

  • James Baskin

    Wearing my ‘Soros Army’ boots today.

  • gene108

    I’m a liberal and Soros hasn’t paid me a penny. What does he have against me? I think it must be personal, because George knows every liberal in the country and funds their activities.

    Also, too isn’t a poor Holocaust survivor coming to America and making a fortune the sort of rags to riches story Republicans keep saying Americans can do on their own, so therefore no need for big government to keep them from starving, being homeless, dying of treatable illnesses, etc.

    Soros really did live the American Dream.

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, heavens, it’s not the American Dream if he supports liberal causes. It’s Globalist Statism.

    • Hesster

      Soros is pretty old. I wonder who they’re going to pin the blame on once he’s gone. Maybe they’ll go the Madeline Murray O’Hare route and say he’s working on legislation for decades after he’s dead.

      • cleos_mom

        If it weren’t for the Right’s fetish, I’m not sure I’d have ever heard of him.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Moore is who and what he is. What truly disgusts me is the 180 that McConnell and others did on him once they realized that he might win anyway.

    • TimResistit

      That’s because MItchell *is who and what HE is*.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The leopards all have the same kind of spots. It’s just that some are better at staying in the camouflage of the weeds so you don’t fully realize what they are until they jump out and eat your face.

    • phoenix00

      IOKIffYAR. It was, is, and always will be.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Roy Moore (R-ProtocolsoftheEldersofZion).

  • OrdinaryJoe

    You can count on it. They always end up there. It’s always blame the Jooz.

  • C4TWOMAN

    So I guess it was Satan who signed those highschool yearbooks….

    • cleos_mom

      Not quite. It was Satan who planted that yearbook in the attic where one of the victims kept her Christmas decorations. Ho, ho, ho.

  • James Smith

    Hopefully all the back tracking and desperation from the RNC, Trump, and Moore means their internal polling shows Moore is going to lose.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    same shit, different day. Evangelism has one deity and it’s called power.

    • Maybe

      I beg to differ. I believe that Evangelism has a multitude of Gods since each proud ‘Christian’ seems to create a God in his/her own image.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    So is he saying Soros paid us cheaply?

  • Dartemus

    I thought the ten commandments were a Jewish thing…

    • Talis

      Christians are just Jews gone bad.

  • Relativicus

    We’re about to lose Franken — a thoughtful, intelligent, hardworking senator — all because he’s been a thoughtless, stupid, hardworking grabby frat boy dickhead at times in his past (as recently as 8(?) years ago). And Roy Moore, whose offensiveness knows no bounds, is going to become a senator. And that’s a seat he’ll have welded to his ass no matter what future news comes out about him.

    Oh, well, I’m sure it’ll be fine…

    • thewendyb

      Asking AL to leave is Democrats punching themselves in the dick AGAIN.
      Seriously.
      I am a woman, I have been molested, forced, groped, mocked, threatened cat called propositioned and had photographS published without permission. Since I was 12 (not all at the same time!) and really, there is a joke, photoshopped and questionable allegation, and some anonymous unsubstantiated allegations. No investigation? Really?
      If Republicans fired their finest and their lowest instantly for similar behavior, then maybe I too would feel Al had to step down. We would be living in a different world.
      In this one, let’s at least do a fact check before we start eating our young and inviting purity tests.

      • george lastrapes

        Eisenhower, Supreme Allied Commander during WWII, had a mistress. Because of this, the only fair thing to do is to reverse the outcome of the war. Trump is beginning to make that happen.

        • Querolous

          FDR had his “Missy” so one moore reason to undo the outcome.

      • Maybe

        The Dems are doing what is politically necessary if they are going to complain about Moore and Trump. While the degree of offense is vastly different, that won’t matter in what passes for political discourse these days.

        It’s also been commented that young women are the most outraged by all the accusations. It is worth listening to them for the future of the party. The Dems as a party have lacked definition for years; this is one stand they can take.

    • Maybe

      I’m hoping Franken can run again in the future. But he’s become a symbol. The Dems have to come out against him or Moore and Trump will use him.

      • Talis

        Yeah that’s a winning strategy. Appeasing and caring about what the right thinks of us and will use against us has not been a winner for us if you haven’t noticed.

        • cleos_mom

          We should have known that “going high” was only a pharmaceutical wet dream.

          • Talis

            As of right now I see no indication that the left GETS IT.

        • Maybe

          I said nothing about appeasing and caring about what the right thinks of us–only you said that.

          I am hoping that women voters will continue to trend Dem. In the Virginia elections women voters voted heavily for Dems. It is even possible that many women who don’t normally vote–often poor women who work jobs where they have no power and are often sexually harassed–may join the Dem fold.

          There is even a chance that Repub women will be swayed.

          Personally I hope Dems get more aggressive and fight like junkyard dogs to defeat Repubs.

  • gratuitous

    God really had his work cut out for him, making it so that Roy could prance around in his cowboy suit with his little pistol and claim to be oh-so-moral while trolling for teen-agers, all the while being totally saved. Did you know he and his wife started dating while she was still married to another man? It’s another godly miracle that Roy is now the paragon of virtue he portrays himself as.

    • phoenix00

      He doth hast troubles with the seventh and nineth commandments.

  • motmelere

    If I am surprised by continued existence after death with memory of my current life, one of the first things I’ll do is check if Roy and Bryan are in the same place. Eternity with d-bags like that is my definition of hell.

    • Maybe

      Odds are extremely good that you haven’t done anything to deserve that.

      You don’t go around kicking puppies, do you?

      • motmelere

        The abuse of puppies, kittens, and little brown snakes is verboten in my world. WTF was I doing back then to earn a shared space with Bryan Effing Fisher?

  • John Thorstensen

    I just saw this elsewhere:

    In
    other words, Soros is going to hell because he’s a Jew. All I can say
    is: Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don’t
    recognize the Pope as the true head of the church, and Southern Baptist
    pedophiles don’t recognize each other in the junior high parking lot, or
    the liquor store.

    • Unclejeems

      Or the gay bar.

      • cleos_mom

        Or the nudie bar over on the US highway.

  • kloewent

    Also, Jews don’t have a hell, so unless the christian one takes heathens, he is safe!!

  • Delu

    Been a while since the last Soros drinking game right?

    Are Trumpians planing to bring it back?

  • Maybe

    I doubt that Soros wants to go to Roy Moore’s heaven. Besides, for Moore it wouldn’t be heaven if they let Jews in.

    Moore is all for having 72 virgins there though.

    • phoenix00

      > Moore is all for having 72 nineth-graders there though.

      FTFY

      • Maybe

        Yeah. Not likely to be 72 virgins.

        Especially with predators like Roy Moore around.

    • cleos_mom

      My (late) Religious Science minister used to describe the traditional view of heaven as “an eternity of indolence and harp music.”

      According to my long-ago Sunday School teachings, it pretty much means spending eternity sitting in church.

      • Maybe

        Sounds more like Purgatory.

  • james crubb

    As a victim of five years of child abuse at the hands of the Abrahamites they can all go fuck themselves.

  • gingerwentworth

    George Soros and Jared K are business partners in something, I saw the other day. Shouldn’t someone tell that Jones guy– I forgot his first name– so that he could make something out of it? Something to do with a future date when Jared is going to become a gigantic rabbi and he and George Soros will do something horrible to Lutherans?

  • “I wish I could face him directly.”

    No, Roy, you do not wish that.

  • cleos_mom

    Today is my birthday.

    I’m old enough to remember when the word “agenda” was not the most grossly overused word in any language in the history of our species, EVER.

    • Zyxomma

      Happy birthday, cleos_mom. May your next trip around the sun bless you with love, health, peace, abundance, prosperity, integrity, laughter, friendship, courage, creativity, community, and joy.

  • Zyxomma

    Even if there were a heaven, Moore wouldn’t be allowed in under any circumstances. If heaven existed, I believe all Holocaust survivors would make it in, no questions asked, including my dear 77 year old friend whose Rom family was taken. And Soros.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    “I wish I could face him directly.”

    Sure you do, just like you faced your Democratic opponent in debates, oh wait, you are too chicken to do even that. So craven in fact, that he blocked him on Twitter.
    And Kimmel is still waiting for that “mano y mano” invite reply as well.

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