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Darling fuckers,

There is wonderful news, and that is that on Friday, just five and a half years after we became the prima ballerina Wonkette, we shall pay off the final installment of the $47 and a sandwich we borrowed from Ken Layne to buy this joint. Beginning January 1, we shall use the globs of peanut butter and/or egg salad we had been paying Layne to instead purchase health insurance for the staff, who won’t have to get fucked by Red State Obamacare Sabotage any longer! Aren’t you happy for us all!!! Aren’t you going to comment in the strange netherworld below this post about FUCK YOU WONKETTE I AINT GOT NO INSURANCE WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE INSURANCE CUt uP HOt DOG’S FOR EVAR! (No. You will not, because people who post that only “read” Free Republic.)

But there is also sad news, and that sad news is that for the past half-year, we have ended each month a couple of thousand dollars shy of what we need to run this pastrami stand, and we are just about out of credit card. We guess we could survive without our freelancers, or Robyn on the weekends, but actually we would not survive without them, we would literally die. (Shy made us stop working weekends because he and the baby never saw us and also we cried all the time. We have ever so much less cancer now that Robyn’s on the weekend job!)

As you know already, we are ad-free. All our operating funds come from like-minded citoyen/nes who appreciate a bit of joy and sparkle among the Trumpery. From Wonkette you get serious policy, James O’Keefe’s delightful hijinks, and the top stories you simply must know, but not all boring and shit. And we watch that “president” 10 hours a day, so you get less cancer too!

Today we learned that James O’Keefe pays himself $317,000 a year from his “charity” to step on his own dick over and over. This caused much tsuris and gnashing of the teeth within your editrix’s soul, because ARE YOU KIDDING US JAMES O’KEEFE? And also because this is six times more than anyone at Wonkette earns per annum — if you didn’t know, we earn the same as the guys, and Robyn and the freelancers annualize to the same amount; Shy makes less because he’s part-time Pixel and most-time househusband — and we all have advanced degrees in dick-stomping!

If you can’t give us loads and gobs of money today (and every month please!), but would like to help out with the buying of merchandises for your War on Christmas, you could do so! There are

hats

and Wonkette T-shirts for ladies and for men (if we’re out of your size, we’ve got more coming; order away!)

and sooooo many leftover collector’s item Hillary Clinton Tees

and kitten onesies for your Wonkette babby

and the Wonkette Election Of US America Game Of Elections games with a new extra print-em-yourself open-source pack!!!

Or none of those things, but you’re buying shit on Amazon? Please do it through our sidebar link! (Okay, so we have ONE AD, and I honestly don’t even know why, it’s like $500 a month, wtf.)

If you are already tithing (please don’t tithe) to your Wonkette, please don’t give us more money. But if you’re one of the 9,000 or so people (out of nearly a million) who come to Wonkette many, many times a month, and you’re NOT one of the 3,000 or so people who are doling out ducats to us (MATH that is 6,000 of you!), please reach down deep, cancel that New York Times subscription or your money for NPR (but not the WaPo!), and consider sending it to us instead.

Maggie Haberman sucks my ass.

MERRY GIVING TUESDAY TO YOU!

I got you a baby.

$
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  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Oblios_Cap

      Brexit was a horrendously stupid thing to vote for, but the Tories’ incompetence is making it even worse.

      • The Wanderer

        They should have put Lord Buckethead in charge of the negotiations.

      • malsperanza

        Wait til they get around to dealing with a hard border between Ireland and NI. That should be fun.

    • The Wanderer

      As if the UK had a choice. Pay, and smile, and pay less in tariffs; Don’t pay and end up with grundle bunions from high tariffs.

    • Captain Kraut

      Hooray! Surplus butter for everyone!

    • malsperanza

      What is Brexit money? Is it like bitcoins, only even more ephemeral?

  • Bobathonic

    Moxie HamBoneMan sucks everyone’s ass.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Dogs always pay for the privilege of free range barking, whining, and enjoying fellow canines, etc. Thank you Wonketeerias.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Not to mention you can meet BigRedDog here and sniff each other’s butts!

      • puredog

        So déclassé.

  • Dolmance

    I would help you. I would. I had the cash too, but I gave it to the cat.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      One of mine probably has lymphoma. The prognosis is not great, depending on the type. The drug that might help is $32.00 a pill, thanks to big pharma (It was $6.00 a pill before a German company bought the patent). That’s why it also sucks to be a human w/o health insurance- the emergency room is not going to help.

      • 52camellias

        Sads. I have played the uninsured prescription-needer game as well, and holy cannolli, it is jaw-droppingly ‘spensive. And weird too — every pharmacy had a different price for all four prescriptions. Costco (their pharmacy lets in non-members) was the most reasonable.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          There are veterinary compounding pharmacies that will make a generic version of the drug for a fraction of the cost, but humans don’t have that option.

      • malsperanza

        Aww, that’s hard. If it is lymphoma, then it’s a question of whether to prolong the process or not. Speaking from my own experience, it’s better not to spend the money on anything but quality of life amelioration until it’s time to say goodbye. Always very tough to do.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Thank you. She got a dose of prednisone last night that worked miracles. Her breathing is much better (over the holiday everyone said “how cute- she’s purring with her little tongue out”….ummm no.) but nobody told me that farts from ibd/lymphoma cats would knock a buzzard off of a shit wagon.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT looks like Rocketman is at it again. The DPRK just fired off another ballistic missile. Get ready for the completely adult and helpful response from the Orange buffoon

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      North Korea fires new ballistic missile, South Korea says
      4 minutes ago
      http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-42160227

      • Old town Urbandale

        So maybe it’s not paranoia but secret intelligence behind the testing of Hawaii’s nuclear attack warning sirens? Yikes!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or prudence…

        • malsperanza

          The people who run Hawaii are Democrats, which is to say, sensible, practical folks who do not fuck around when it comes to nuclear war.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    My recurring thingy stopped recurring … it is now recurring once more.

    • Resistor Radio

      My recurring money thingy has been weird. Off now to check on it.

    • Resistor Radio

      Oh wait, were you talking about a recurring thingy that requires an ointment?

  • Joe Beese

    Donald J. Trump himself – your elected President who’s working hard all the time, despite what Fake News tells you – asks you to cough up.

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/11/27/statement-president-donald-j-trump-givingtuesday

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I am really surprised that he didn’t turn it into a request to give to himself.

    • puredog

      Yeah, I believe Donnie wrote a statement that uses the word “resilient.”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    If you can find a way to make it until next June, my mortgage will be paid off then, unless the Trumpapocalypse intervenes. There will be a mortgage burning party with champagne and Ruffles, and everyone is invited, pot luck, after which I will have a bit of spare cash every month.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Mortgage burning parties are the best! Yay for you and yours.

  • GenuineClass

    I love you so. Please take my $10 for this month and every month in the future. SUBSCRIBED!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • FlownΩver

      Thanks for joining the Supporterati.

      You do know, don’t you, that your name is an anagram of Alec Guinness? And vice versa?

      • GenuineClass

        Jeremy’s…..Iron.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Merry war on Christmas! Hope my little bit helps!

    • proudgrampa

      May you be Victorious!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OT, but…I was never under the impression that it was:

    https://twitter.com/EdKrassen/status/935581948575088640

    • Joe Beese

      I was thinking about that yesterday…

      If Obama had gotten caught up in a decorating related gaffe like that, we wouldn’t blame him. There are – as Krassenstein reports – other people at the White House, unencumbered by the duties of the presidency, whose job it is to pay attention to shit like that.

      So while “Pocahontas” is on Trump, we shouldn’t blame him for the Andrew Jackson thing. After all, it’s highly unlikely he knows who that is – let alone what he’s infamous for. It’s the incompetent staff he’s attracted who are on the hook for that one.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        nah, hasn’t he said AJ is liek his hero?

        • puredog

          Right after Frederick Douglass. But parroting a name does not mean that he knows squat about the man himself.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I don’t blame Trump for that specific incident, which was probably down to a staffer, but the reason there are a lot of pictures of Jackson in the White House now is that Donald wanted them. He sees Jackson as a role model.
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab38088a86090e33a18eadfe8614d6bb48dd8424a7f2dbeab0ed9d6408e35695.jpg

        • puredog

          Many people are saying he’s thinking of adopting the moniker “Old Hoggery” as a tribute.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Old Dickery.

          • Amy!

            Old Rotting Wood.

        • malsperanza

          He also sees Hitler as a role model. Trufact.

          • just_jim

            He wants to commit suicide in a bunker after he’s ruined the country?

    • Bananas Foster

      Jesus fucking christ that’s repulsive.

    • Of course, those people were hired by a more competent President.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Wait, you GAVE Ken Layne money?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Why did he need moniez to go wandering around in the desert, anyways?

    • puredog

      Isn’t he sitting on a potato chip fortune?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Prongles?

    • Historicat

      That cranberry relish recipe wasn’t passed on for free you know!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Also for any Wonkers who might be on the fence: I give a little each month and always have a warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart when I get the monthly email confirmation. Just sayin’…

    • Oblios_Cap

      I tried the monthly, but my card wouldn’t let me do it. So I try to give every four or 5 months. I think it’s about time again.

      • Amy!

        I do the same, but oddly enough, sent the check yesterday. It’s like I’m physic, or something.

      • aureolaborealis

        Hook your card up to Paypal, and Paypal will bill every month.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Being an Oldz, I’m somewhat leery of PayPal. I had a friend whose account got hacked a few times.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Me too.
      I’m like a 10 buck a month subby, or somethin.
      I forget.

    • proudgrampa

      Yup. I love hearing from my favorite Rebecca!

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    *throws not-a-lot-but-some-moneys at you*

  • John Iwaniszek

    imma ditch hulu and send the moneys to you instead. But you have to wait until I get arsed.

  • Red Bird

    I’m afraid if I give Wonkette money they will not learn how to work for a living and just go off and gave more babbies. Merica!!!

    • Oblios_Cap

      I heard having lots o kids pays really well for the poorz.

      • Red Bird

        Yes. Somehow the added costs of raising a child makes them wealthy.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I guess it’s all of the extra bootstraps hanging around the house.

          • Red Bird

            Yes, indeed.

    • MynameisBlarney

      BOOTSTRAPS!

      • C4TWOMAN

        Bootstraps for babies!

        • puredog

          Ya gotta flog ’em with something.

    • But then we get more babby pix.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Just realized I thought I set up recurring, but it was a one time donation! All fixed now, sorry editrix. And yea for health care.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I really want to fuckin work for this fuckin place.

    Can I be like a “Snark Advisor” or “Resident Holder Down of The Couches That People Naturally Take Pity On And Want To Buy Lunch For Everyday”?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Sekret chat cave Batman? No pants, just tights, and they’ve already got a Robyn.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t know if I want to subject anyone to seeing me in tights.
        You do realize that I actually LIKE these folks, right?

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          But I heard it was dark in the sekret chat cave?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yabbut, the night-vision goggles.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Foiled again. Damn you military-industrial complex!

          • MynameisBlarney

            INORITE!?!

            Can’t swing a dead cat in this blog without hittin 9 fuckin MIC lobbyists!

          • Captain Kraut

            Hey! I’m retired*.

            *euphemism.

    • Will Work for … well, it’s Wonkette, you can guess.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Have another tennabuck Wonket, on the house. I consider this site a way more cost-effective investment in my mental health than a $140/hour shrink anyway.

  • puredog

    I just gave you some Ameros yestiddy. YOU SPENT THEM AWREADY? But I suppose the bourbon bills there are very high, especially Robyn’s (but she needs it, for disinfectant if nothing else). Okay, okay, I’ll pungle up some more. I’m stiffing all my friends for Xmas anyway, so I guess I can.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Clearly Dominic needs to go undercover to some large news organization and claim that he was raped by Roy Moore and Donald Trump while the owners and staff of the Washington Post watched and laughed. That’s where the big bucks are.

  • Resistor Radio

    Ok cool, I fixed my monthly thingy. Pony up, everybody else!

    • Another pony? How much does Donna Rose eat??

    • Indeniable Ron

      Yes?

      • Resistor Radio

        Hi pony Ron

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Did a little extra. Festivus is approaching after all.

  • Parakeetist

    A fiver, u can has.

  • cmd resistor

    Totally OT, but Waaah, Michelle Obama’s Gingerbread White House had a little vegetable garden, also, too.
    http://img.timeinc.net/time/photoessays/2009/wh_xmas_tree/wh_xmas_tree_08.jpg

  • Resistor Radio

    That’s pretty damn awesome you’re gonna be done buying Wonkette this week. You gonna celebrate like you just paid off your mortgage? Have a beer! Or six!

  • Iron Monkey

    Decided to stiff NPR for a while and add that to what I send every month. Will work on some more creative accounting in next few days.

    • proudgrampa

      Creative accounting = Robbing Peter to pay Paul.

      • Iron Monkey

        Wonkette needs it more than NPR. Or I should say I need Wonkette more than I need NPR.

        • Historicat

          Don’t worry, they’ll still be there, checking in with Trump voters to see how they feel about what Donnie’s doing. (spoiler – they’re still fine with the racism but they wish he would be a little more circumspect on Twitter)

      • Indeniable Ron

        GOP accounting = robbing Peter AND Paul to pay Charles.

  • Timothy Watson

    I hate recurring charges (too easy for me to forget one and get screwed) but I gave a nice one-time payment today.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    CRAP. Wrong pic.

    Here. From the netherworlds.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That would make you revolting American.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The netherworlds, eh?

      So you’re a Drow are ya?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        SIgh, new picture uploaded in new comment because Disqus being a bitch.

    • proudgrampa

      “I’m revolting!”

      “Now, now. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  • TJ Barke

    I can’t adjust the amount when I do my amazon pay. It always resets to $10.

    • puredog

      That’s because when you click the donate link that’s given, that happens. (Grr, I agree.) You have to then click “cancel and return to Wonkette” and get into the donation page a different way. At least, when I do that, I can reset the amount, which is necessary, because I am whimsical about what I give. I fear that some drunken evening I might wind up paying everybody’s salaries all at once.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I stuffed a C-note in their g-string. Now the Wonkette has got to grind out some metaphors for me, maybe do a rhetoric dance.

    • Captain Kraut

      Dok’s the Tony Manero of rhetoric dancing.

      Shake that money maker!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Shake it “till you break it! The pen is mightier than…well…hardly anything…but shake it anyway!

        • FlownΩver

          You’ll get ink all over everything!

      • FlownΩver

        Wabbit Terpsichore?

    • SadDemInTex

      I did the same

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        : )

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Did you know that each time you donate to Wonkette, a Trump voter gets raging diarrhea, during which all the toilet paper in their house mysteriously disappears?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I like you.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        ;)

    • Arolpin

      Dammit! I wish you had told me BEFORE I donated, because then I would have made many $1 donations, to cause more Drumpf supporters intestinal distress.
      (edit to fix typo)
      (re-edit to fix typo in typo fix)

    • MynameisBlarney
      • wide_stance_hubby

        Ouch + FTW

      • OutOfOrbit

        Witch way doz it spin? Wrong way is a deal breaker for me

        • wide_stance_hubby

          HA! That was my second thought. The first was how the hell does one clean that?

          • Daniel

            With a rotowipe wipe.

        • puredog

          Back to front, prolly, if it is an intelligently-designed prank.

        • Arolpin

          Front-to-rear according to the website. I’m still concerned about splatter. I would also modify it so that after use it rotates down into the bowl, below water level, and does a 30-second high-speed spin to clean itself off. It’s a great idea, just needs to be self-cleaning. :)

          • Shan

            Is there a mudflap?

          • puredog

            Geez, you can’t swing a dead cat in here without running into an engineer.

          • Arolpin

            I’m only a SALES engineer though, so I make stuff up to satisfy the customers*, and then let someone else worry about making it work. Like how I came up with what it should do, but didn’t consider the cost to create an articulating arm, or the cost to develop a smaller wheel for shallow toilet bowls, or even the potential liability if one were to install it upside down and when one attempts to finish up, have the entire wheel shoved about 3″ up the anus.
            *(Not really, because I spent a number of years on the operations side having to make it work, so I actually think about ease-of-deployment a lot more than I should. Don’t tell anyone, because if they realize their SEs actually know what they’re doing, they’ll put me back on call and take away my commissions, which means less Ameros to throw at Yer Wonkette.)

          • Beelzebubba

            Add a carbide coating for durability, and it’s a sure-fire winner.

          • Naytch

            As long as you have people skills!

          • Opiwan

            I think we could make it better by adding multiple heads and a gas-powered motor :P

    • Historicat

      This is why I set up a second monthly donation instead of just increasing the amount of my first donation.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Omigawd! Me too! And I just spent half an hour composing a long-winded explanation. Yours is much better.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      This is why I donate twice a month!

      Actually, I meant to donate only once a month, but I kept screwing up the PayPal thang. So now I donate a lot of money twice a month and ya know what? I’m okay with it! In return I’m entertained and informed and I laugh a lot and I get inspired every day. Plus people are really nice to me at Wonkette, and Rebecca has even written me personal emails and Dok replied to some of my comments (which aren’t allowed) awhile back and ONCE I won the Internet here (true story!) (it was awhile ago and I don’t remember what I’d posted)

      So get your lazy ass off your wallet and find your credit card and give these folks some money. I’m sure they think we’re all a swell bunch for loving them so much, but they can’t live on love.

      And you want to keep that sweet little girl happy. If I ever forget how to read, I’ll still come here just to see her smiling face.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • puredog

      I forgot to ask. . .you DO take rubles, da?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Prefer bitcoin tho.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Done!

  • Daniel
    • cmd resistor

      Stupid, also, too. Where do they get this shit?

  • Ruth Serafini

    Hooray for healthcare! I have a recurring set up, and I cannot find the Amazon sidebar…. wtf AM I BLIND? Maybe my adblocker ate it. When I find it I will buy ALL THE AMAZON THROUGH WONKETTE 4EVAR.

    ETA: FOUND THE LINK. Adblocker was snacking on it in a corner.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      This is the Amazon link if you can’t see the sidebar.

      https://www.amazon.com/?tag=wonkette0f-20

      Bookmark it. That’s all you need to make sure your Amazon purchases send some spare Ameros to Wonkette.

  • Arolpin

    OK, you shamed me into it. I just verified that my recurring donation is still recurring, and donated an extra 5 monthly donations. It’s not much, but it will buy a couple cases of beer at least. Or a few bottles of cheap bourbon.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Where the hell can you get a couple of cases of beer for $5?

      • Arolpin

        Off the truck, while it’s idling outside the store. They rarely lock the roll-down doors. The $5 is for a couple slices of pizza to go with the beer. :)

  • Shan

    I already have two separate subscriptions set up from the “ad-fewer” days, one for myself and another for someone who left the site. I bought a Wonkette t-shirt and undies and I don’t wear hats or need mugs.

    But would DEFINITELY wear the hell out of a Wonkette apron and also get one for someone else I know who loves to cook and really needs one because hooo, boy, is he messy in the kitchen.

    I mean, this IS a recipe hub, right? We should have aprons!

    • 52camellias

      As one of my ancestors might have said “That’s fockin’ brill, mate.” Or would have, if he/she was not drunk off his/her ass.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Your panties haz tooths?! Oh wait I already knew that

      • Shan

        I can’t find them, though. Maybe they ate themselves. Or I left them on the bus again.

        • Captain Kraut

          As one does.

        • Arolpin

          Public transportation in Missouri must have improved quiet a lot if it’s a panty-dropper.

          • Shan

            I wouldn’t know since I live in Kansas! XD

          • Arolpin

            Doh! For some reason I thought you were in MO. It’s all flyover country to me. (Full disclosure, I grew up in flyover country, and lived in St. Louis for a couple years. I only tease because I mean it.)

          • Shan

            I DID live in MO for a while as a kid but I left to come back to KS and atttend KU.

          • Arolpin

            And you didn’t leave once you graduated? I spent a couple nights in Lawrence having the clutch replaced on my car once. It wasn’t terrible. I do know one person who lives in Lawrence now, but he’s an idiot who joined the Navy because he used his tuition money for his senior year on a week-long coke binge, and then got busted on a piss test about 90 days before he was supposed to get out of the Navy and not only lost all of his educational benefits, but also had to stay in the Navy longer to serve his sentence. He went back to Lawrence and is still an idiot from what I see on Facebook. (He’s also freakishly smart, so maybe he’s a theoretical mathematician, which is what he was studying before he went all Charlie Sheen.)

          • Shan

            Oh, I left. Got married to a Brit and moved back and forth between various places in the U.K. and Seattle a bunch of times. Finally settled on coming back to Kansas so my kids (ages 2 and 6) could have a nice place to be “from” like me. I had no idea what would happen to the place in a few short years.

          • FlownΩver

            We have a fairly healthy number of non-idiots here in LFK. Sometimes it feels like we’re constantly on the walls of some philosophical Alamo, surrounded by the forces of Sam Santa Ana, but it’s nice here and the rest of the state seems to be getting a little less awful. And one can still get a clutch replaced if you know the right repair shop.

          • Shan

            My son is a mechanic! So that’s nice.

    • proudgrampa

      Oooo… That’s a GREAT idea! I would buy a Wonkette apron!

      (Keep it tasteful, dear!)

      • Shan

        I like the traditional kitten picture. Or maybe the “Enemy of the People” one.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      What about a MAGA dildo?

      • Shan

        I…would not buy that.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          It would be hella funny for their puritan base.

          • Shan

            Wait, you said MAGA, not MAGNUM.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I see I have interested you for my product.

          • Shan

            Mmmmm…probably not.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            It will have a little device to work on the clitoris once the Flynns start flipping.

          • Shan

            Haha! Still, no. Once I see the Flynns flip in the news, they’ll probably start happening spontaneously anyway.

          • Daniel

            Putting the “private” in “private eye”.

      • Daniel

        His name is Eric.

        • brucej

          Oh eeeeew!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I too would buy a chef apron.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • 52camellias

      Give us Wonkette aprons! Plus a random food or drinky thing recipe stuffed in the apron pocket!

      • Indeniable Ron

        Ooh, bonus!

    • BradtheBot

      Shan only; not good anymore?

    • Old Nick

      second

    • Little Lulu Ω

      ❤️ !

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Ameros your way. Keep up the good work. We love ya Wonkette!!!!

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      42 just for kicks?

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        It tis the answer to life the universe and everything.

  • marxalot

    I am a 10$/month subscriber, and I feel good about that! I’d toss a little extra jingle in the jar, but I just helped a friend out of an unexpected jam of not-their-own making, so splurging has been curtailed for the next little bit. Good thing I don’t have to get too many presents this Winter Darkness.

  • Metadude

    Done!

  • mardam422

    We guess we could survive without our freelancers, or Robyn on the weekends,
    Well, she’s no Chris Cillizza.

    • Indeniable Ron

      For which let us all give thanks.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I can totally do that, but I’m just saying, you have an intern, and Tucker Carlson pays those from his 501(c)3 and doesn’t actually teach them to do shit and uses their stuff anyway and maybe somebody who doesn’t just play a lawyer on the internet should look into that for you and you can actually teach them stuff or pay your existing staff to and win! and shit.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Wasn’t Dominic upgraded a while ago?

      • Shan

        I thought so as well.

        • puredog

          I thought he was upbraided, but I donut hear so good.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, yeah, but if they’re looking to expand, it’s a way to go. Not a lot of college internships these. days actually pay.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I just spent some money ordering a box of Dr Pepper online, as I have never tasted it before and was curious, so I guess I can afford to throw you some whore diamonds as well.

    As for the Dr Pepper, I can report that I find it very similar to the sort of Christmas soft drinks they sell many places in Norway, including the soapy smell. Personally I prefer the local caramel flavoured julebrus.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cf40fb8ff545549d6773643166e3fbe03f4d8429de07b5e3e7f0084b4945343.jpg

    Verdict: 3/6, will probably not order again, as I now have all the Dr Pepper I need for the holiday season, and doubt I’ll crave more in January.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Just FYI, most American sodas will dissolve a 16 penny nail in a day or so.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        That’s probably true of our sodas as well, but I don’t intend to bathe in it, so I should be fine.

        • Indeniable Ron

          So you’re a nail?

          • UnsaltedSinner

            If all you have is a hammer, then yes.

          • puredog

            If all you have is a hammer, then no.

        • malsperanza

          As long as you’re sure you don’t need your stomach lining or esophagus, you should be OK.

          • UnsaltedSinner

            I like to live on the edge. Of boredom, mostly.

      • Shan

        I would rather use it to clean my toilet.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I stopped drinking sodas years ago.
          Giving up the Mexi-Coke was tough though.

          • Shan

            I just don’t care for it since I don’t have munch of a sweet tooth. Plus, living with my ex put me off it even more because he drank about half a dozen cans a day and it was just gross.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I could hardly ever finish a soda.
            A few sips was enough for me.
            And yeah, I’m not much of a sugar fiend either.

          • puredog

            Reading the phrase “tough though” reminded me for the umpteen-millionth time how glad I am that English is my native tongue rather than one I had to learn later.

          • marxalot

            The tough coughs as he ploughs the dough.

          • puredog

            But where is he plowing it through? Is it some place where you can hear the wind soughing in the trees?

          • Arolpin

            Through the slough, I thought.

      • Old Nick

        Coke is excellent for cleaning messy car battery terminals

    • marxalot

      Did you get the corn syrup version or the cane sugar version? Because they taste different, and the Dublin, TX (cane sugar) formula is much to be preferred.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        It’s made in Sweden, so I imagine it’s cane sugar, but I could be wrong.

    • Captain Kraut

      I’ve found the good Dr. quite disappointing as well. If you’re looking for an interesting soda, I’m rather partial* to San Pellegrino’s Arranciata Rosso (blood orange) lemonade. I’ll send you a can if you can’t get it in Norway…or just take the ferry to Kiel and come pick it up.

      *although the technical term would be addicted.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I’ve tried that, actually, but I’m not crazy about orange-flavoured soft drinks.

        • Captain Kraut

          Too bad, but come anyway!
          Maybe wait till summer, though, the weather’s been beastly. But the booze is still cheap, so I suppose I’m still ahead. Of something.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Is that really soda though?

        • Captain Kraut

          I think you could say so, it’s more carbonated water than fruit juice (only about 20%, which is comparably high, though).

      • ImGoingBacon

        I love the Jarritos sodas from Messico. Not sure if they sell it in Scandinavia. but if you are ever in Me-HE-co, check it out.

        • MynameisBlarney

          They have those on the taco truck I go to.
          I usually get water.

          • Arolpin

            They have them at the little Mexican takeout place I go to for lunch every couple of days. They’re too sweet for me most days, but on occasion they are a treat. (I’ve been drinking Diet Coke since the ’80s, so pop with sugar always tastes wrong to me, I’ve switched almost entirely to flavored seltzers though.)

      • puredog

        The San Pellegrinos are all good, even in flavors I would otherwise flee.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I’ve never tasted Dr Pepper either. My mother has; she hates it. Says it tastes like cough syrup. I gave up sugary drinks this past summer, but if I ever decided to have a rare holiday nip, I’d opt for local Portaghee favorite Kiki’s Laranjada or Sumol in various flavors. Laranjada = orangeade; Limonada = lemonade; Ananas = pineapple (false cognate of “bananas”); maracujá = passion fruit.

      I used to like “Five Alive” juice blend when I was a kid in the ’80s and early ’90s, but apparently it’s only sold in Canada now where it’s still moderately popular and even features as a lyric in a Barenaked Ladies song. Minute Maid Orangeade, which I loved in that same era, sadly no longer exists. (I confess: I liked Crystal Pepsi also too.)

      • cmd resistor

        For a while friends and I made a punch out of Five Alive and Vodka.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I like rum and Coke, hold the rum :)

      • Old Nick

        My late wife’s family referred to the drink as “Poopy Doctor” with no negative implications.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Dr. Pepper with salted peanuts. It’s a Southern US culinary ‘treat’.
      Get a container full of Dr. Pepper, and a package of salted peanuts. (it has to be peanuts, as other nuts do not taste well in this concoction)
      Open up the Dr. Pepper, and pour some salted peanuts into the soda.
      Drink and chew at the same time. The salt in the peanuts cuts the syrupy taste of the DP.

      Enjoy!

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Salt improves almost anything, so that might work. I was actually a bit disappointed that there was no sign of a pepper flavour, which would have been interesting…

        • Indeniable Ron

          That’s cuz it was (possibly) named for an actual person, one Dr. Pepper of Christiansburg, VA.

        • Cdbeee

          Just resist the urge to try Pepsi “fire”. They dumped a bucket of cinnamon in it and figured they’d make a few bucks. It’s horrific shit. Half a drink and that was too much.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I growed up in the South and I hain’t never heard tell of such a thang.

        • ImGoingBacon

          Then it must be a Texass thing. Pappy Bacon still enjoys such nonsense.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Must be a Texas thing.
            Closest thing I can thing of we have in NC is Sun Drop and Moon Pies.
            It’s like a Central NC staple.
            Even though I don’t care for either.

        • Old Nick

          Long long ago in my youth, I used to frequent fish camps in Fla. and every one with a bar had a big jar of pigs feet and another of pickled eggs.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hmm…the fish camps I went to in NC were mostly in dry counties, so no bar.
            But they did have massive fucking walls of candy on the way to the register though.
            Also, too; now I’m craving salt and pepper catfish.

      • malsperanza

        Gah, that is right up there with koolaid pickles.

        • ImGoingBacon

          But not as high up as pickled pigs feet. Who da fuq invented that?

          • UnsaltedSinner

            Pigs feet is quite popular as a Christmas dish in Norway. My dad loves them, and he can keep ’em.

          • malsperanza

            Germans, man. The answer is always Germans.

      • Rags

        Biled pnutz or GTFO, Yankee!

      • puredog

        I like it with the dissolving nail in it. Cured my anemia.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Never noticed any soapy smell, but as I have next to no sense of smell to begin with (I have inhaled ammonia with little effect, and find (E )-2-butene-1-thiol and 3-methyl-1-butanethiol surprisingly pleasant) it might be just me.
      Personally I love the stuff, though a failing pancreas compels me to drink the aspartame-sweetened stuff, which has a unique flavour all its own.

      • Shan

        Ack! That’s not good for your pancreas, either!

        • Indeniable Ron

          Beats the alternative. By a lot. It helps keep my numbers where they should be.

    • kLo

      I’m from Dallas and don’t like Dr. Pepper unless it’s Dublin Dr. Pepper. I worked with an engineer from
      Idaho who would take a 6 pack of Dublin Dr. Pepper home with him wherever he came to Texas for our project.

    • Notreelyhelping

      I’m a great fan of ginger ales and ginger beers, of which Cock & Bull is primo. Consequently, I had the following exchange in a small-town restaurant recently.

      Waitress: So can I get you anything to drink?
      Notreelyhelping: Do you have ginger ale?
      W: Got ginger beer.
      N: Great! What kind?
      W: Oh. Uh…we have…what is it? The rooster thing.
      N: Cock & Bull?
      W: Yes! Gosh, all I could think about was cock!
      N: That’ll be fine. Thanks.

      End scene.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      ALMDUDLER OR GTFO.
      http://www.almdudler.com

  • Notreelyhelping

    Oh, I blather enough on Wonkette: some money is winging your way.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Agreed. I feel guilty in promoting snark, without paying for the platform to do so.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Does it cost anything to be a client (or whatever) of Patreon? That seems to be where Jimmy Donuts gets most of his Reichsmarks from. What I can’t seem to understand is why RWNJ outlets always seem to be flush with money, while liberal and progressive ones (not just small indie outlets, but even the Guardian — yikes) always appear to be on the skids.

    Is it that liberals tend to be poorer, because the liberal constituency consists of a number of historically marginalized groups? There’s plenty of poor rubes who send their welfare checks to Pat Robertson, but I take it the RWNJs have better access to the rich wealthy patrons because they’re promoting propaganda that convinces the rubes to keep those fuckers rich.

    I mean, how many liberal billionaires (or even multi-millionaires) are there? Is it a paradox, in that you probably will never get (or stay) rich if you actually give to those who need it most (in a way that doesn’t also benefit yourself)? Wonkette does far better actual journalism than phony-baloney fake news tabloids like Daily Holler, Daily Fail, and Wingnut Daily. (What is it with all these “Daily” whatevers in their title? I’m waiting for them to just merge into a big media organization called the Daily Constitutional.) They should be bankrolled with plenty of clams, while the NYT gets next to nothing in their can. Or something like that.

    • Amy!

      It’s because Soros is such a cheapskate. Always promising, never delivering. I mean, when was the last time you got a check from him, right?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Ha. That mebbe true.

        Tom Steyer? I actually never heard of that guy until the impeachment ad.

        • Cdbeee

          I love Steyer. Keep your eyes on him. He’s been out there, just quiet.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You mean one that didn’t bounce?

      • puredog

        He sends me a modest check every month. What — you didn’t sign up for the recurrent donations? Sigh.

    • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

      hmmm.. perhaps this is one of the many reasons the RWNJs go off on the “Hollywood Elite”, being full of rich liberals who won’t give them money.

    • redblack

      printing lies is cheaper, and it requires no research.

  • Indeniable Ron

    I wish I could do more.
    But gas went from under a buck a year ago to a buck twenty, and the CHEAP grocery store’s put up most of their prices 15%, while my income hasn’t changed in two years.
    But if things change, I will try and slip a few extra loonies Wonkette’s way, and if I suddenly become one of the 1% (or if my asshole sibs develop a case of the guilts and will me some of my parents’ moneez when they die of smugness) I’ll have a li’l talk with my accountant about making it regular.
    Because, my gods, do I need this place.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      fuckin’ hell it’s up to $2.40 here in Texas. Brutal.

      • Arolpin

        I think he’s talking CAN$/liter, because Canuckistanians use that commie metric system and have ladies on their money and use coins for dollars and have stupid birds on their coins, like common Canuckistanians.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          ah, that explains it.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Per litre. US$3.77/gal.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          oye – that is NUTS!

          • Indeniable Ron

            Eyup. Mostly it’s taxes – taxes that are actually spent on roads, which is nice.

  • Spurning Beer

    Please accept my thoughts and prayers, as well as a modest Season’s Greetings bonus.

    • malsperanza

      How much did you spend on those thoughts and prayers? Are they the freebie kind the Republican party sends to people who don’t vote? Or those nice expensive ones you can order online from Walmart by the metric ton?

      • Spurning Beer

        I get mine from the Pensée Mart, over in the prayer district. They deliver.

  • Nounverb911
    • MynameisBlarney

      Mark my words.
      I WILL visit Katz at least ONCE in my life.

      • malsperanza

        Better hurry. That whole area is vanishing with the speed of a gentrifying cheetah.

        • MynameisBlarney

          NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

          DAMN THOSE GENTRIES ALL TO FUCK!

      • puredog

        Earlier today you commented that you live on a crowded island and I assumed Mannahatta. Is that so? And you haven’t been to Katz’s? WHUSS RONG WITCHOO?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Naw, a bit further south than that.
          The Keys.

          • puredog

            Okay, then. As you were.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            there’s one in Austin and one in Miami Beach…locals say it’s over hyped…ask the elderly jewish population…they’ll set ya right

  • Nounverb911
  • Boscoe

    I can say, without reservation, that my monthly gift to Wonkette is second only to my monthly gift to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital in terms of the heart-warming satisfaction of feeling like I’m actually helping something *important*.

  • jesuswasablack

    “We guess we could survive without our freelancers, or Robyn on the weekends”
    But then who would tell all the mens how terrible they are??

  • Lance Thrustwell

    If you charged per-word to non-comment on the Wonkette, you would all be rolling in boutique peanut butter in the backseats of your Ferraris, and I would be living under a bridge.

    I am an auto-tither, but paltrily so. I plan to go up a notch after the holidays, scout’s honor. Rebecca and other Wonkette overlords, you are the wind beneath my wang wings.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      you are the wind beneath my wang

      tainted love?

      • Historicat

        Damn you for that ear worm!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Sing Oh My Darling Clementine to the tune of the Ode to Joy*, or if you’re not concerned about the going to hell thing, the theme song to Gilligan’s Island to the tune of Amazing Grace. Kills earworms.

          *My brother and my husband like to do the An die Freude to the tune of the Marine Corps hymn, but that’s best left to professionals

  • Wonkette’s the only thing standing between me and getting all my news from Twitter, so it’s worth the money.

  • kLo

    FFS, this plea for donations is worse than Ira Glass. But I’m a former aspiring journalist who defected to engineering so have a monthly pack of smokes on me (but at $5 it sounds more like roll your owns).

  • malsperanza

    I give $15 a month, and I don’t even come here anymore because I have no laughs and nothing is funny. Once WWIII starts, I will come back to dance on the lip of the volcano with yall.

    But if I can give $15 a month for a website I don’t even read, the rest of you can too.

    I also subscribe to WaPo, NYT (print and digital), NY Daily News (print and digital), Nation, and Mother Jones and have stopped reading them too. FREE PRESS AINT FREE YALL.

    • Boscoe
      • MynameisBlarney

        For real, lol!

        That post has triggered my suspicion glands.

      • malsperanza

        They won’t tell me, but I’m guessing it’s either Wikileaks or those nice folks who hacked the NSA last week.

      • Nockular cavity

        LOL sheeple. There are no comments typed here, duh.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Just a heads up.
      In case you actually didn’t know.
      Not everyone can afford to do that.

      That is all.

      • malsperanza

        That would never have occurred to me.

        Can any of us afford the world without a free press? Just a heads up.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Golly, that would never have occurred to me either.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    I have been donating monthly for quite a while now, and if comments were allowed I’d tell you and everyone else here how much I value this online community of ne’er-do-wells, misfits, and pantsless monsters.

    But no comments are allowed, so you’ll never know how much I care.

  • SweetDeeKat

    The kitten onesie is SUPER CUTE but it won’t fit me so you get cash instead.

    Also publicizing O’Keefe’s salary is very effective for getting a rage donation.

  • FlownΩver

    You might consider promising James O’KKKeeffe you’d destroy those pictures of him in his tenth birthday party dress with Roy Moore’s hand up the skirt, in exchange for Many Ameros.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    the comments in the cut up hot dogs post are interesting vis-a-vis the Trump presidency. (True fact: I STILL don’t know how to properly use “vis-a-vis” even after having it explained to me several times in life.)

    • puredog

      I *think* it is just a fancy way of saying “with regard to.” Literally, it means “face-to-face.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i know that’s how people use it – but I looked it up or read about its “proper” usage somewhere and remember thinking it had a more specific usage.

        Then again, I admittedly am confused about the whole thing.

        • puredog

          vis-à-vis
          ˌvēzəˈvē/
          preposition
          preposition: vis-à-vis
          1.
          in relation to; with regard to.”many agencies now have a unit to deal with women’s needs vis-à-vis employment”
          synonyms:regarding, concerning, apropos to, toward, relating to, compared with, with respect to;
          informalre “we need to discuss our test results vis-à-vis the national standards”
          as compared with; as opposed to.”the advantage for U.S. exports is the value of the dollar vis-à-vis other currencies”
          synonyms:regarding, concerning, apropos to, toward, relating to, compared with, with respect to;
          informalre “we need to discuss our test results vis-à-vis the national standards”
          adverb
          archaic
          adverb: vis-à-vis
          1.
          in a position facing a specified or implied subject.”he was there vis-à-vis with Miss Arundel”
          noun
          noun: vis-à-vis; plural noun: vis-à-vis
          1.
          a
          person or group occupying a corresponding position to that of another
          person or group in a different area or domain; a counterpart.”his admiration for the US armed services extends to their vis-à-vis, the Russian military”
          2.
          a face-to-face meeting.”the dreaded vis-à-vis with his boss”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            nice find! (I guess I coulda done that too.)

            I must have been thinking of the second one.

            Thanks!

      • Crank Tango

        Yup, that’s how I translate it out of French all the time. Clients would probably kick me in the dick if I used vis-à-vis in English.

  • Arolpin

    I think Rick Wilson may actually be right:

    http://www.newsweek.com/sanders-likes-horeshit-trump-724412

  • Fuck you!

    I live on less than US$17,000.00/yr. (in Los Angeles) & I am sick to my fucking stomach of you gawd-damned parasites, here & at every other fucking piece of shit web-log across the iNternet, begging for money. I never pan-handled even when I was homeless. Have you neither pride nor shame?

    P.S.: I’m “indebted” too. Big deal!!

    • puredog

      Nor pants.

    • Boojum

      It’s not actually panhandling when you give something back for the money. It’s more like (exactly like) paying for the entertainment you get from reading the news and Dick jokes.

      • I can make my own dick jokes. I wouldn’t pay for them even if I could afford to.

        • wavicles

          Then what the fuck are you doing here complaining?

          • What the fuck is anyone anywhere doing complaining? They have some damn nerve. Just shut up & go along.

          • Christopher Wolfe

            Waiting for an Uber?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Forget the meds today?

          • rebecca

            Pretty sure he’s just really not feeling well. Let’s all let him be.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Fair enough.

          • Shan

            Whew, that was close! My asbestos suit is being reconditioned today!

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            I understand ankle pleats are the “in” feature this year for asbestos suits – trying to bring back the whole “bell bottom” thing from the 70’s is what I gather.

          • Shan

            Sounds dangerous!

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            It wouldn’t be fashionable, if it weren’t dangerous, I suppose.

          • Ill-Advised

            Ok.

          • Damian L

            It is the end of the month.Many people run out of their meds at this time.

        • Boojum

          Bye, then.

    • Crank Tango
      • No one has “choices” in this society; stop deluding yourself.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Uh huh.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Go away now.

        • h4rr4r

          You can choose not to come here. You can choose not to donate. I chose to give them money.

    • Nockular cavity

      Did you miss the part where they’re not ad-supported? This is how they stay in business.

      But yeah, “parasites,” whose work you read for free.

    • rebecca

      MBouffant, I’m sorry if you’re not feeling well today. I’m not sorry that I pay myself and my staff a livable wage, which is still far below the average what people in professional industries make. And I’m not sorry to ask for money to continue to pay them so I don’t have to lay anyone off. We love you. Feel better.

      • If you’re so wonderful, why don’t all the Wonkeroos pony up w/o your grubbing from them?

        “Living wage”. Tell me that next yr. when Social Security & Medicare have been cut to the bone & I’m urban camping again because Ben Carson has eliminated Housing subsidies.

        • rebecca

          I don’t get where this is coming from. You’ve been coming here for years and so surely know that we each work 40 to 60 hours a week to provide this space, which includes things like servers and other fixed costs. If you can’t afford to donate, that’s perfectly fine! There is no paywall keeping you out! But why are you mad that we ask our readers to help?

          • FZsdaughter

            Moran?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Sweet pole-dancing christ on rubber crutches.
          You really don’t understand snark do you?
          I mean at all.

      • puredog

        You’re a better man than I am, Trix. I am not sure I love this insulting freeloading clueless troll.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I wish I could give more. I don’t begrudge giving you the money at all, even though I’ve got some financial problems. I think most of us feel the same way.

        I still think you need to figure out how to be a church, or some kind of James O’Keefe type grifting organization, and maybe get a rich daddy like Robert Mercer to fund you.

        Maybe we could pretend to be a Breitbart type site for the next year, and get Daddy Warbucks Mercer to give you lots of money, then go back to being the godless, filthy, amoral, hippies who love buttsechs and gay refugee hugging, that we’ve always been.

        Mazel tov to you, Shy, and DR for the holidays.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The option, then, is to not give. Further, if you’re a regular here you should know better than to even read the “Pony up Fuckers” posts if they’re going to make you feel bad. Shitting on Trix because your ego can’t handle a panhandle is righteously fucked.

      • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

        It’s not a panhandle though. It’s a request for due compensation for a job well done.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I know, but I couldn’t resist “handle a panhandle” :)

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m indebted to. And I give what I can. And I take seriously the weekly reminder that IF WE DON’T HAVE MONIES TO GIVE, DON’T GIVE MONIES.

      People wish I would tattoo them for free too. Unlike Wonkette, they don’t get a tattoo and then have the option to pay or not. If you’re reading Wonkette, you’re getting something from the place. If you make 17k a year, yeah, don’t donate, you can’t afford it. But don’t shit on the editor for requesting that those of us who can afford it chip into the costs of both running the place, and for their personal bills.

      • h4rr4r

        You should offer tattoos that way, the catch is you get to pick the free tattoo. I would donate to such an effort, provided it was hilarious and you took pictures.

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      hmmm…i’m late to the party, as usual…but maybe i can help

      consider this…i look at it as paying for entertainment time, and the $10/month i give to the wonk is one less small bottle of booze that both my doctor and my liver thank me for not drinking…i make less than the wonkette writers–and i wouldnt expect them to, but i would surely appreciate that if any wonker came to see me play guitar, they would throw money at me–but if they didnt, and didnt like what they saw/heard, i would also appreciate if they just shut the fuck up and went home without bitching about their freely and willingly wasted time

    • Ill-Advised

      I believe parasites take, but don’t give.

      How would you characterize your own behavior, since you’re bringing it up?

      I read Wonkette for a long time before I contributed. And now it’s valuable to me, so much so that I’m astonished one newbie giving nothing anyway gets mad when he/she discovers a professional website doesn’t run on wishful thinking.

      So have yourself a heaping helping of STFU.

      ETA: I see below that in fact you have been coming here for years. MAYBE you should ask yourself, in your best inside voice, why you feel guilty that you don’t give if you can’t give.

  • puredog

    I don’t get it. If Mama’s running out of credit cards, can’t she just get some more?

  • Crank Tango

    Is there any way to sign up for pony-free?

  • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

    Is that Bernard Black as a pony?

  • wavicles

    *gasps* Such language! Here’s fifteen bucks.

  • SadDemInTex

    I felt like giving monies today. Hope my monies help.

  • aureolaborealis

    If you are already tithing (please don’t tithe) to your Wonkette, please don’t give us more money.

    Oh, yeah? Well. I just doubled my monthly contribution. Because fuck you, that’s why. (Also, I just saw my summary of payments to date: $119.76)

    Love you all. Keep being the best place on the internets.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    OK, $5/month. Really wish it could be more.

    • SisterArtemis

      I think all of us dedicated wonkers wish we could give more, whatever level we’re at. Don’t give yourself shit about it, $5 ain’t chump change to a lot of us, and it all adds up.

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        Five bucks of change in a sock makes a fine cosh. It’s a capital investment that pays off big in the short term!

    • King Beauregard

      $5 / month is like treating one of the Wonkette staff to an inexpensive lunch once a month. A free lunch is always welcome and appreciated.

  • Here !!!!! Take these few measly duckets from my poor shriveled purse you loveable bench!

  • Here!!! Take these few duckets from my shriveled purse, you adorable wenchy menches!!!!

  • HabsFan29

    Giving is worth it for many reasons, but the best part is it gives you access to the delightful thank you message which includes a patented Wonkette Repo Man reference.

    plate o shrimp (out of the blue, no explanation)

  • FZsdaughter

    So refreshing to encounter the direct approach. Wish it could’ve been more, but we have Canadian taxes to pay up here! (JK we are just a broke teacher, we do not actually pay taxes.)

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    As an Australian it is a sacrosanct cultural principle that I can only steal money and not give it. It’s a matter of national identity.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I like that Australia was founded by England’s reject criminals, yet every Australian I’ve ever met has been quite pleasant.

      • L Jean Camp

        Only after the American revolution stopped allowing them to ship them to the US.

        • Ill-Advised

          I think that was just Georgia, although the state was much bigger then. Allegedly.

          • L Jean Camp

            I was reading this book about early American settlement. I thought I had a reasonably nuanced view of how the early settlers were not angels. But, whoa, nope. Many people choose between prison barges as seen in Great Expectations and ships to the New World. Really a good read: White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016JPTQ9U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

    • Trump Corporation LIBELZ!

    • Left Coast Tom
      • phoenix00

        But I thought everything in Australia tries to kill you….

  • mary5920

    In the name of all that is good and wholesome, I must throw some dollars at Rebecca and staff. Not much, as I make less than the cranky poofy hair person, but still this is a very entertaining web site and just the flag dancing anti gay guy alone made it worth chipping in this month.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I just gave at the office, and I have to say two things:
    1) I wish I could give more
    2) The message after you donate is hilarious, so everyone should donate so they can see that message
    3) Using Donna Rose’s picture to tear at my heartstrings? Adorably UNFAIR!!!!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Miss Lindsey explaining to Wolf Blitzer, of CNN, that CNN (and MSNBC) is in the business of saying bad things about Trump every day. Wolf Blitzer kind of reads him for filth, and explains that Trump may be helping to get journalists killed. Miss Lindsey changes the subject.

    I wonder why Miss Lindsey doesn’t notice that Trump actually does do something FUCKED UP EVERY GOD DAMNED DAY???

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I will send more money, because as a unicorn I appreciate this publication’s bold pro-sodomy stance.

    • SisterArtemis

      *eyes pop open*
      *runs to ancient tomes to to review cultural habits of unicorns*

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Oh, like it’s some big secret! Anyway, the ancient tomes were all written by humans. We’ve always had a few calligraphers among us, but that’s more about art. Unicorns didn’t really get into creating text until the introduction of the first IBM Selectrics in 1961.

        • SisterArtemis

          *inner ear report: hears delicate hoof taps on those quick response keys*

          • Resistor Radio

            Awwww, delicate hoof taps are the sweetest taps.

  • Robyn Ryan

    Flat broke until the first.

  • One of my favorite places to go had a campground with an honor bar and community kitchen all within 20 feet of one of the world’s most beautiful beaches. I would go there to escape the maddening pace of the world to just read, write, and most importantly, l could loiter. Camping was $20 per day.

    The “Stress Free” honor bar was what gave the place a vibe both wild and responsible at the same time. There was no bartender or staff on hand and you helped yourself whenever you wanted to whatever you wanted. The owner, who came by weekly, just asked that you kept a log of what you partook and settle up upon departure with what you could afford to give . He more than once mentioned to me that it was the honor system that allowed him to create such a magical place and it generated more cash flow than had he fixed prices and monitored sales.

    Wonkette is like that place, only you get to go there every day if you want to.

    • Resistor Radio

      We could use more beach, though.

      • And more “Stress Free” for the staff.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        And some cocktail weenies and those fruity drinks with the little umbrellas. Although, I must say, the ice sculptures are amazing.

  • ofus

    Temporarily poor, will help when less poor

  • iamnotsteve

    I am of the 6000 who read Wonkette but have never have monies to give for the good of the ministry or god in heaven (well except but once and here we are) and crushing guilt like broken glass when I just wanted to send flowers but I have been unsalaried for some long time and then I thought what is my life so I should go live in that log out back and there’s nothing like nature the wild mountains except the fox who does not like me and barks at me nightly daily the bastard and then but after many months a foreign persons from Denmark I think made me a job and I said yes and yes and that day I was lying among the rhododendrons and the Danes if that’s who they are pay monies or krones or whatever the fuck they horde in Denmark the bastards and then I think Wonkette toddler needs to always be happy a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers always and never sullen teens listening to jesus rock like as skillet and casting crowns not as she loves this but as you loathe it and passing in the hall looks at you and you know that nothing you do or say will make her hate you less than in that moment and I do not have children but I suspect this is how it works as we grow old in fallen lands and it should never be this sullen teen but always the red hats of the little resistance girls the glorious sunsets and the pear trees in the mountain gardens yes and this is why I write a cheque at last but really not that fine I’m not a smelltrumpsrump lick my shit rich asshole but at least today the foxes bark and the nuns ring the angelus too so yes take my monies and be good and wear white roses and maybe there’s no god in heaven and spend it on booze and strippers but wear the roses anyway

    • JCfromNC

      Was this one of those “let the predictive text write your comment” comments?

      • SisterArtemis

        well, this part was kinda ok…

        Wonkette toddler needs to always be happy a flower of the mountain

      • Ill-Advised

        Prose poem in the style of the young Alan Ginsberg, arguably.

  • L Jean Camp

    I did not create the paypal account because I do not want them to save my info. Please confirm you received my highly cheap payment.

  • L Jean Camp

    I donated but I fucking hate paypal.

    • SisterArtemis

      you can mail a check, or a money order, or a gift card or whatever to them too.

  • Walter Wellstone

    OK, I’ll fucking double monthly my donation. Happy now?

  • Hubby R paid the 30th or 1st, depending. Will sheckle the Wonkette on that day! And then next week I R paid so I would double sheckle the feckle outta ya!

    • Resistor Radio

      Ooo, shackle your feckle! Rrawr!

  • BullDyke Odell

    fuck this whore, let the blog die. there is no one they know who can do the job and has the correct number of holes. the hambeast has turned it to shit like she turns everything to shit. you can see their daughter becoming an ugly cunt before your eyes. genes dont lie and that was a sad pathetic desperate merger for all the wrong reasons.

  • Leonard P Bubbers

    I sent an article to Dr. Zoombie, who is listed as an editor, a while back who didn’t even acknowledge my offering. I’m a big boy and can take rejection, but a non-response from this jerk means – fuck off! Well, Dr. Zoombie, fuck you and fuck Wonkette too (not Evan)!

    • Walter Wellstone

      Okay then.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Yer special.

      There, feel better?

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        Nah! I don’t have a fragile ego, so kiss my ass Mr. Beagle or whatever kind of dog you are.

        • SomeBigRedDog
          • Leonard P Bubbers

            That’s impressive. Did you masturbate a lot in college?

          • SomeBigRedDog

            With that wit I can’t imagine why Dr Zoom ignored you!

            Honestly you claiming not to have a fragile ego is the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a month.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Oh eat shit you stupid twit! Take your mental masturbation known as psychology and jerk off like you did in college.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Wow you made that easy!

            kthxbye troll.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Look! Stop being super ego and just stay out of fights that have nothing to do with you. Sweet dreams.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            If you think this is a fight that makes me feel like I’m punching a kindergartener. : (

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Oh grow up Don or Donna Quixote! My dispute with Wonkette has nothing to do with you. As I said, sweet dreams. Live to fight for own causes not against mine.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Nah man, my cause has now become you not writing for wonkette. I give hard earned monies every month to this website and I expect better than the weak ass trolling you have to offer.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            IK, R? This aint no tracker of wolves or TLM, thats for sure.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I called wolfy as a troll before most. Disengaged because others were willing to give it a chance. TLM has way more talent. Miss it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I tried to give Wolfy a chance. Not my best call. But actually TLM pissed me off more. His last little exchange here, IIRC was defending sexual assault. It’s been awhile, and I’ve had some wine tonight, but he definitely went over the edge in my book.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Subject matter aside … TLM has a way with words at least? Some entertainment value?

            I know thats probably wrong to think but I can’t help reading his comments in a sarcastic voice.

            Wolfy can go fuck him/herself.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yeah, s/he was a piece of work.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Sweet dreams and go with Christ!

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Oh also I’m not a christian so while I’m willing to smoke a bowl with this christ guy, he can fuck off if he has any proclimations for me.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Whatever you believe is okay with me. You are a good foe. Good night.

    • Alternative Dog

      You created a Disqus account for that? Trust me, it wasn’t worth the effort.

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        Come on! You’re a cat. We have to stick together.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Wow. 6 comments. All here. And I’m stunned that he didn’t acknowledge a completely unsolicited random article from a complete stranger. Stunned, I say.

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        Oh go to sleep! It’s late, and this is not your fight. Sweet dreams.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Honey, i have no idea what your fight is. But you would appear to be losing it.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Wow! I will cry myself to sleep! Really. Get a life, and tilt at your own windmills.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Something something masturbation something. Really I can take over if your tired of trolling.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            MY FIGHT WITH WONKETTE IS NOT YOURS. PLEASE STAY OUT OF THIS. YOU STARTED THIS HOSTILITY, AND WE ALL JERK OFF IN COLLEGE. SWEET DREAMS AND PEACE AND GO WITH GOD.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            CAPS LOCK!!!!!!11!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Awesome! I win the Bingo!

          • Shan

            Oh, crap did he just take his earrings off? We’re in big trouble now!

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I honestly don’t know how I will recover.

            Also, I feel slightly bad for even bringing attention to it. It was in poor taste and I apologize.

          • Shan

            No worries. I was bored.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Good night. Please don’t be so angry. I didn’t invite into my conversation with Wonkette. That is what made me so angry.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You. Were. Not. Invited. Here.

            Nobody. Here. Insisted. That. You. Show. Up.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            How do comments work? Oh right, they’re not allowed!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Then why, pray tell, are you fighting whatever it is in the non-comments?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Who invited you into my conversation with Wonkette, pray tell? Really, this is not your fight.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I hang out here, in the non-comments. And you’re the person who decided to make an ass of yourself here.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            You are mentally ill!!! Please report to a mental institution as soon as possible. Thanks and good night. I’m signing out, and this person’s mental instability is why I will never make another contribution to Wonkette.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I cancelled my subscription to the new york times on Monday. I will INCREASE my wonkette contribution to make up for whatever monies you never ponied up in the first place. THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            I ponied up a hundred because I like Evan Hurst. I also like Five Dollar Feminist.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            And yet you imagine you can write at their caliber.

            I’ve worked in a male dominated field for 20 years and constantly have men think they can do my job better than me. I have men who can’t do basic bath try to explain biochemistry to me. They are usually wrong.

            Sounds like you should take Doks silence as a sign that you should work at your craft and try again. Its not up to him to mentor you or edit you or give you notes or give you anything as a complete fucking random stranger. Stop expecting anyone to kiss your ass for just existing.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            My god! Get a life!

          • SomeBigRedDog
          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Actually, I am. Thanks for the good fight and good night. Seriously, I’m a retired old man but I got stuff to do. Let’s pick up this banter tomorrow

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Good night!

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Good night to you too! I do admire your spunk.

          • Ill-Advised

            Upthread you were a stupid cunt, you said.

            It’s ok. Anyone could get confused about their age or gender. Nationality, too, possibly, or even whether you’re actually human.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Thanks right-wing Nazi whore. WALMART has a sell on TIKI torches, so hurry on down.

          • Ill-Advised

            True, I did forget that projection’s a Hell of a drug. Sorry about that, whatever you are.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Why are you even commenting on something like this? Get alife.

          • Ill-Advised

            Pardon me, but your pants are smoking. Is that really your cat or did you download it from someplace?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            My pants are smoking? WTF and go away. Wonkette is an enlightened publication. Why do you read it?

          • SDGeoff3

            Pants? Definitely not of our ilk.

          • Shan

            It’s a public forum. Do you not know how these things work?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Yes, and mind your business. My God, all you trolls sound like a pack of Trump degenerates!

          • SomeBigRedDog

            MAGA!

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            God help us!

          • Ill-Advised

            We are Wonkette, also. Who invited you?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            You are Wonkette? Jesus!

          • Ill-Advised

            You’re windmilling, all right. Please don’t cry. Sleep is good.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            You are a clown and an asshole.

        • SisterArtemis

          You put it in front of all of us. You pulled your issue with Dok out of an email conversation into the public one. You invited this.

          • Beelzebubba

            Been a while since we had a troll to play with…

          • SDGeoff3

            Whomever it is, is already blocked on my internets machine.

          • Beelzebubba

            I think Dok banhammered the loon. Tune in on Sunday, because this guy is DSFB gold.

          • SDGeoff3

            I lerrve me my Wonkette Sundays.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Go to sleep! It’s late. Sweet dreams and go with Christ.

          • SisterArtemis

            Just got off work asshole

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            You too you piece of shit! I just wish I could confront you shit ass trolls in person. Being anonymous makes you so bold. I would punch your faces off. You chicken shits.

          • SisterArtemis

            Blocked and flagged

          • SDGeoff3

            Yup, long ago.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            What on earth is wrong with you? Are you really drunk? Alone? Why do you think it’s okay to parachute in here and be so fucking rude?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Me? What is wrong with you? I will not abide bullying from you or anyone else! As i said, this is not your fight, so get a life.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Nobody. Asked. You. To. Come. Here. Nobody.
            Whatever. Problems. You. Have. Are. Not. Our. Problems.
            You. Are. The Person. Who. Has. Chosen. To. Make. An. Ass. Of. Yourself.
            Publically.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Give it a rest. Here is not your realm. This is just a commentary space on a sometimes funny website. Spend your energy on fighting Trump not me.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy
          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Is your mouth on the receiving end?

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            Blocked.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Are you really saying that this is your realm?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            No. Good night.

          • Resistor Radio

            “…I will not abide…” (giggles)

            I keep responding to you because the troll is giving me eye-rolls but I don’t actually want to engage it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            A clever ruse indeed!

          • Ill-Advised

            +5?

            Or high; I recommend a better grade of weed. Or real Sudafed.

    • Beelzebubba

      Must have been a shitty article. Try again. You’ll make the DSFB column for sure!

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        Oh eat shit and die you fucking little cunt! Are you a pimply faced little 13 year old boy?

        • Beelzebubba

          Nope. You’re really bad at this.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It really is, isn’t it?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Good night dude.

          • Beelzebubba

            Sleep tight!

        • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

          Narrator voice

          “At the time, no one really understood how powerful projection could be.”

          Sincerely,
          Just Another Fucking Little Cunt

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Fight Donald Trump not me. I’m a cunt stupid.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Look, that second sentence makes no sense. At all.

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Please go to bed.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Look, lets all go to sleep and dream about a wonkette with bad grammar and shitty logic and written by trolls and tomorrow it will all be better. OK?

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Oh go stfu!

          • SomeBigRedDog

            *pats head*

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Pathetic!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I mean this seriously, are you alright? Do you have somebody IRL that you can talk to?

          • Ill-Advised

            I’m going to wait until our resident doctor of rhetoric and composition weighs in on the validity of putting the noun before the adjective.

          • Resistor Radio

            Is “cunt stupid” like being “dickmatized?”

    • hidden mind powers

      Boo hoo or what the fuck ever

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        Wow! That is a super intelligent reply special ed.

        • hidden mind powers

          OK thanks dickhead

    • hidden mind powers

      Haha holy SHIT I just scrolled down, what the actual fuck is wrong with you

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        What is wrong with me is that I have to live on the same planet as you do, you fascist bitch.

        • hidden mind powers

          whatever you say, cracker

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Hey I’m not the troll attacking someone for airing a complaint you fucking Nazi fascist piece of shit

          • hidden mind powers

            kill whitey

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            Racist!

          • hidden mind powers

            no such thing as racism against white people, guy who can’t seem to keep pretending to be a liberal for even 40 posts

          • Leonard P Bubbers

            What? Go to bed.

    • This was, for the record, a thing of beauty. This thread just… *kisses fingers in that way you sometimes do to indicate that something is glorious*

      I particularly love the latent homophobia of excluding Evan from your “fuck you” list. Subtle, but masterful.

      Thanks, @Beelzebubba for bringing this to my attention…

      • Leonard P Bubbers

        WTF! Get a life.

        • SomeBigRedDog

          You’re STILL HERE?

          Look, somebody needs to tell you so I guess I’ll be the bad guy. Your comments aren’t even up to Wonkette standards so there’s no way your writing is. Be better, come back and try again.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            They were still here? REALLY?

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I’m bummed he deleted his masterpiece of dumbassedness.

  • Roni Raven, Proud Hall Monitor

    I donated and I got a thank-you email from Rebecca referring to me as “sweet lump.”

    Awwwwwwww

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I also think you’re sweet. Just sayin’.

      • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

        Thanks and back atcha.

    • Shan

      Dammit, now I’m jealous! She only ever calls me a “stroppy cow”!

      • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

        Seriously? A cow is better than a lump!

        *stalks away in a huff*

        • Shan

          Don’t get your feathers all ruffled! Sugar comes in lumps, and those are sweet like she said.

          • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

            And cows are placid and calm and peaceful.

            Becca clearly has our numbers.

          • Shan

            Placid? Heee!

          • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

            Maybe not outwardly. But in your soul.
            Just saying.

          • Shan

            Hm.

          • SDGeoff3

            With a P.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You’re the most delightful, funny, passionate and intelligent stroppy cow ever. And that’s just science.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Hah! I’m “big red honey.” But I did drive 4 hours to drink beer with them.

        • Shan

          I really have no idea if she calls me anything at all. Baconz is actually the one with all the nicknames for me. My personal favorite is Screeching Banshee.

          • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

            I would take that as a compliment, actually.

    • Resistor Radio

      Awww, I want a Rebecca nickname!

  • Ill-Advised

    I donated, on the assumption that troll play ain’t for free.

    MAYBE, IN RECKLESS ABANDON, I WILL DO SO AGAIN, if it’s still around tomorrow.

  • gingerwentworth

    “Cancer” is just a funny way of saying “fatigue” or something, right?

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Well, isn’t that quite the shit storm down below. It was definitely worth the price of admission.

    • LadyLaz

      I was amused by the insistence that people were butting in on the conversation … on a public comment board.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That was just bizarre. I’m working on the assumption that our new friend was very, very drunk. I’m nice like that.

    • Mpeg

      which one ‘down below’?

  • LadyLaz

    Last time I donated the Vegas shooting happened. Fingers crossed this time

  • BeachLoafer

    Is it just me, or is increasing my monthly contribution confusing as fuck?!?!? The steps on the subscription management page are, shall we say, less than crystal clear …

    Any chance someone in the know could, like, write a clear explanation of what the steps and side effects are? Can I keep the same monthly donation day, or am I resetting everything? And wouldn’t it be so much easier if I could just click a thingy saying “here Wonkette, please take an additional X Ameros from me each month?”

    Extra points awarded for putting said clear explanation on the actual subscription page.

    • DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT AN EXPERT. But this is what I did:

      – Go to secure.wonkette.com/my-account (I don’t remember how I got there, but eventually I did)
      – If you’re me, reset your password
      – Once you’re logged in, click “Subscriptions” on the left (this isn’t the same as website subscriptions; this part is confusing for sure)
      – That should bring you to a page with your recurring donation info. Click “View.”
      – Under “Subscription Totals,” click the “Upgrade or Downgrade” button.
      – From the drop-down, select your TOTAL new donation amount.
      – Complete the next few steps per your payment method.
      – At the bottom, shortly before the “Donate Now” button, you’ll see “Recurring Total” and that will have the new amount with a date and the total amount with a date. I can’t get back to that window (I accidentally closed it I TOLD YOU I WASN’T AN EXPERT) to confirm exactly what it said, but I hope this helps!

      p.s. It looked to me like my card would be charged the difference today and again in one month, and my old amount on my usual day next month.

      ETA: Wait! My “Subscriptions page now says the new TOTAL to be billed on my usual day next month.” I will stop “helping” now.

      • SDGeoff3

        I changed to a new Disqus account a while ago, but I’m still a member with my old handle, so I just to to Paypal and pay by credit card. (Paypal membership has fucked me over too many times.)

      • BeachLoafer

        Thanks for the walkthrough – I tried it, but it didn’t work for me …

        Actually, nothing worked for me, as my subscription is apparently so old it predates computerized record-keeping at Wonkette.

        For those in my situation, an email to Rebecca got things rolling into the digital age!

  • The Rick

    Love you guys but unfortunately love doesn’t pay the bills. If I had money to give I would but times are hard. Keep up the good work please (which also doesn’t pay the bills). Your potent combination of opinions, 1st amendment expression, and facts make this site a safe space for leftists.

    I’m at heart a conservative but the GOP isn’t conservative anymore and I can laugh at myself. Anyway ❤️❤️❤️ Sorry it’s not 💰💰💰

    • The Rick

      Also please don’t upvote you minions should pay for good news. I have but that’s not happening anymore.

  • Moar Wordz

    I think I’m signed up for a monthly debit. I have to check if it’s working. That requires effort and it’s major chaos around here, water is being hoarded, strange rituals are in place, & for some reason there was a pen in the crisper. That’s better than clothes in the freezer but still.
    I’m gonna check. If it’s not working, I’m going to donate by SNAIL MAIL. You heard me. A stamp, envelope, and hopefully a check or $$ order, if I’m not lazy and throw a twenty in an envelope, which I have been known to do even tho’ it it’s so silly to send cash by mail like an old.

  • EuroBankerCommie

    Ok. Now only 5999 more people that are here all the time that don’t pay.

    • kfreed

      Still Nope. I used to read Daily Stormer to keep tabs on the Trump Nazis. By your reasoning I would have been required to donate.

  • B0rchkins

    Okay, I doubled-down. You’re getting twice as much of my dineros as before. Enjoy!

  • Sorry, Rebecca but the dad burn Gum’mint and my former employer is a fightin’ ‘gin me saying I’m an awful person not deserving the moneys….

    But hell with it, I’m sending you a picture of the guy buried in Grant’s tomb anyways.
    https://www.marshu.com/articles/images-website/articles/presidents-on-us-paper-money/fifty-50-dollar-bill.jpg

    Wish me luck on my appeal. 😇

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