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Look, for the record, we give no shits what rich people do with their money. If you want to spend half a billion dollars on a painting, that’s got nothing to do with us. But don’t bribe the president and pretend you’re doing it for charity. Because that’s just gauche!

Last January, having wiped his rear with the constitution’s Emoluments Clause, Trump rechristened his Palm Beach trash palace “The Winter White House” and doubled the initiation fees. Everything was ka-ching-ing along beautifully until those Tiki Nazis got carried away in Nashville.

David Fahrenthold at the Washington Post has been tracking charity gala cancellations at Trump’s Florida club.

During the summer, 19 charities that had events scheduled this season at Mar-a-Lago abruptly quit after Trump defended participants in a violent rally in Charlottesville organized by white supremacists.

After Trump’s “very fine people” speech, most reputable charities decided to take their fundraisers somewhere NOT associated with Nazis, thankyouverymuch. Weirdly, donors didn’t want to patronize the business of a racist nutjob with his stubby fingers on the nuclear button.

Some members of Mar-a-Lago found that their friends didn’t want to be invited to galas there anymore.

“‘If it’s at Mar-a-Lago, then we’re not going,’” one former Mar-a-Lago member said he was recently told by a friend. The member quit recently, and he asked that his name not be used, to protect his friendships in Palm Beach. “It’s not the charity that matters anymore. It’s the venue.”

O RLLY????? Did the charity ever actually matter? Like we said, we don’t care what you do with your giant piles of money, rich people. But let’s not pretend that a party that cost $400,000 and raises $50,000 was ever about charity. Sure, you want to fete your big donors, aka “friendraising” as opposed to fundraising. But let’s not kid ourselves that an event which donates less than 20% of the ticket price is something other than a party.

The news was better for the Bethesda Hospital Foundation, which moved its Nov. 9 luncheon to a club in Boca Raton and had room for 100 more guests than it could fit at Mar-a-Lago. The lunch raised enough to buy a new physician-training tool: the Victoria S2200, a $60,000 robot woman who gives birth to a robot baby.

Nice robot, but for the price of the tickets I’m betting you could have bought five of them.

Lara Trump, the president’s looniest surrogate, has formulated a cogent response, and it is WHY DO YOU HATE ANIMALS??? DEMOCRATS MURDER PUPPIES!!!

Clearly the botox is eating this woman’s brain. Mrs. Eric Trump chairs the annual gala for the Big Dog Ranch no-kill dog shelter. After Trump’s “very fine people” comments, Big Dog announced its intention to move the event to its own campus. But it’s back now, because, “My furry companions loved the attention over the years at The Mar-a-Lago Club and said they would only support us if we returned to our favorite yard.” You hear that, liberals? You even made the dogs cry! Hope you’re proud of yourselves.

So now that all the legitimate charities have noped out, Mar-a-Lago is down to taking money from people who want to associate with the president. The kind of people for whom lining the president’s pockets is a feature, not a bug.

Florida conservative activist Steven M. Alembik, for instance, is planning a 700-person “Truth About Israel Gala” at Mar-a-Lago in February. He plans to charge $600 a seat. He says he expects Mar-a-Lago will keep most of it, and that’s fine.

“We’re supporting our president, who supports Israel,” Alembik said.

So they’re explicitly giving the president money for his foreign policy positions. Cool cool.

Or The Trumpettes USA, led by a totally normal lady named Toni Holt Kramer, “who has turned part of her home into a sort of shrine to Trump.”

She’s hosting an 800-person party in January at Mar-a-Lago to celebrate the anniversary of Trump’s inauguration. Her dog Caviar Deux (we shit you not) is the official Trumpettes mascot.

Tickets are $300 including dinner and a band.

If there’s money left over, Kramer says, it will go to a police charity. But she doesn’t expect to have money left over, after paying Mar-a-Lago for the room and the food. And that’s fine.

“I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,” Kramer said.

Yes, Mrs. Kramer has picked a charity, and it is Donald J. Trump.

Well, we had a good run, America. It’s all downhill from here.

[WaPo]

Please contribute to the Wonkette fund for Botox, Restylane and Juvederm. We’re crashing a party at The Winter White House, and we want to look the part.

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  • Skeptical_thinker

    Any wanting to donate to the DJT charity should be taxed at 1000% of the donation.

    • Crank Tango

      And then cast adrift in the middle of the ocean. Sorry, ocean!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        What, is the Atlantic getting jealous of the Pacific’s floating island of plastic?

  • TJ Barke

    Trump cares so much about the doggies, what with deregulating the puppy mills…

  • Daniel

    I thought people voted for a billionaire, not a beggar.

  • marxalot

    There is a real person named for a piece of labratory glass? Alembic my arse.

    • PubOption

      Could be an old Belgian beer.

    • SDGeoff3

      There is the Büchi tube.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Rob and Laura Petrie on line one….

  • Skeptical_thinker
    • marxalot

      Why is there a several doll’s head just hanging out here, which one of them is holding it, what is happening

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I think that’s a purse.

        • SDGeoff3

          Charming.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        What makes you think it isn’t a preserved head of a poor?

        • SDGeoff3

          That is not a coiffure of the poor.

      • BearLeft

        That’s the model the mortician used to do their makeup.

    • puredog

      Actually, the woman on the left strongly resembles a human.

      • rielly

        She’s the youngster.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I read that as “There isn’t enough soft porn in the world to make the people in this photo look good.” I have been reading Wonkette way too long…

      • SDGeoff3

        Maybe you got it in mid-edit.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          No, but I like her ideas and would like subscribe to her newsletter.

          • SDGeoff3

            LOL. Really.

    • SDGeoff3

      The Stepford!! It burns!

    • WY_cryptid

      It is clear they are all grabbing each other’s butt cheeks. Full fledged.

    • BearLeft

      Definitely lens cap material.

      • richardgrabman

        Lens needs a lot more vasaline. Much much more.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Rode hard and put away wet…….

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      Funny, Trump would not hit that.

  • calliecallie

    All of this is horrible, but that red, white and blue celebration flyer is fucking horrible. Did you notice they called it the “Southern White House” rather than the “Winter White House?” Tells me everything I need to know about that horrible event.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      IKR? It is the graphic equivalent of KAC’s inaugural “thing.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Her dog Caviar Deux (we shit you not) is the official Trumpettes mascot.

    Oh great–now my dogs want me to go on a rescue mission and free that poor creature.

    • Eileen Besse

      I’ll help.

    • SDGeoff3

      I bet it knows how to flush, though.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Your dogs are more empathetic than I …

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    At this point, let’s just start handing him sacks marked “BRIBE MONEY”. His base will still defend it.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Russian banks have been found to have done literally that.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “I had to resign over this?” -Brian Mulroney

  • Shan

    Good lord! That woman’s face is a cartoon!

    • SDGeoff3

      She may have had a little Work done. Not sure.
      She is growing feathers, also too.

      • Shan

        It’s scary.

        • SDGeoff3

          Her poor cheeks look like a 1940’s automobile.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        The birthing robot looks more realistic.

        • SDGeoff3

          Doesn’t it?!!

        • Blanche de Shambles

          And it’s probably more useful.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Another face lift and she’ll have a goatee

      • Shan

        That took me way too long to figure out.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          I think that is a good thing.

          • Shan

            I first thought of the comedian who said she refused to grow old gracefully and planned to have facelifts until her ears meet in the back of her head.

      • jowgajen

        It’s the merkin way.

    • clairence

      That was my thought too… about all of them.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    None of those women are in TRMP’s preferred age group. But they do possess the requisite amount of plastic “enhancements”.

  • BigCSouthside

    Rich people are fuckin weird

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    I’m trying to decide if that Dampnutettes lady or the Victoria birthin’ robot is more lifelike.

    • PubOption

      They are both plastic.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    The lunch raised enough to buy a new physician-training tool: the Victoria S2200, a $60,000 robot woman who gives birth to a robot baby.

    Couldn’t you just hire a midwife to show the student’s how it’s done? It’s not like birthing babies is a rare occurrence.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The robots are actually pretty cool and do a great job teaching. I’ve never seen that particular one, but I worked a training session with one designed to teach cardio techniques to doctors. By the end of it I was pretty sure I could successfully implant a stent in someone.

      • marxalot

        But did it have the feel and smell of the real thing? Our library has invested in some VR anatomy software and one thing it will not tell you (which cadaver work will) is whether you’ve got a fainter in the class.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Yes, they go to great lengths to make them seem real, down to moans and groans and complaints of discomfort. I’ve also done shows where they do live video of eye surgery, which is quite weird. There’s something really creepy about seeing a doctor cut into a patient’s eye on a 20 foot video screen live, in real time…

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Wait, they use robots for that? So who was that other guy looking at my wife when my kids were born?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    There are several words beginning with the letters, ‘C’, ‘T’, & ‘G’ that came to mind when I saw that group of women. They are offensive words to be used as sparingly as ultimatums.

    Wonkers, I ask you, is this one of those occasions?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Charming, Talkative, and Gracious?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        A little less flattering. . .

    • Ryan Denniston

      Curiously, those are also three of the four bases that make up DNA.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        They look like they use DNA as makeup, too.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          DNA from white virgins?

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Babby vegan white virgins.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            With or without the buttholes?

          • SDGeoff3

            Always with buttholes.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            With. These women do not eat, so there may be a nutrient to be had.

      • Querolous

        Trump is the Asshole.

  • Eileen Besse

    WICKED EWWWWWW. That is all.

  • Shan

    Has anyone else seen the most recent episode of Gotham? NOT off topic here.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      It was a modest episode.

  • PubOption

    When dogs cry. Prince or the Barking and Houndsditch Choral Society?

  • jesuswasablack

    Not sure if this is the right form, but a good friend of mine was assaulted by the Pope, she went in for a hug and he grabbed her boob, I know you can’t see it but she told me about it the next day?
    https://www.ncronline.org/sites/default/files/styles/article_slideshow/public/stories/images/BlindPope.jpg?itok=iE_gN2ua

  • jesterpunk

    Wait didnt they support Trump because he is rich and doesnt need money from anyone?

    • clairence

      Dude! Logic belongs nowhere in this discussion.

      • jesterpunk

        Oh right, sorry I keep forgetting that.

    • Timothy Watson

      Self-funder!!1!

  • Crystalclear12

    When do we start eating the rich?

    • SDGeoff3

      Whenever we develop a taste for silicone.

    • anon_the_great

      Personally, I don’t eat shit.

  • BearLeft

    Shit, I thought it was an ad for Bondo …

    • BMW

      Bondo has electrolytes.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Spackle

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    COULD THESE FUCKERS PLEASE NOT RUIN CUTESY ANIMAL PUNS/JOKES FOR ME ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE??!?!?!!?

    • clairence

      sorry, America’s not truly Great Again until every last positive aspect has been squashed into oblivion.

  • Trevor Pyle

    Is it too early in the week for me to get drunk and rage post?

    • Eileen Besse

      No. Never.

  • PubOption

    Patriotic cocktail jackets for the men? Kellyanne’s nutcracker outfit redux?

  • anon_the_great

    More proof Terry Gilliam’s Brazil is in fact a documentary from the future.

  • Victoria S2200 looks more life like than the founder and president of trumps fan club. And more fun, too.

  • memzilla Ω
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      From New York to Florida in, well, a New York minute.

    • anon_the_great

      What? She can’t afford a car service?

    • jowgajen

      My Scion would literally fall apart if I took it over 90.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        So that’s why it was chosen as the product placement for this song.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSBFehvLJDc

      • (((Aron)))

        I got to 100 in a soft-top ’89 Wrangler. It was…. Interesting.

    • Ryan Denniston

      That’s a lot of points!

      • data_ninja

        I thought some states took away your license after going 25 over the limit for ‘reckless ops’.

    • shivaskeeper

      119mph? Fucking piker. I used to regularly do 150+ on the autobahns.

      • Shan

        KM/H, right?

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Only if she was so far “upstate” that she was in Canuckistan.

          • Arolpin

            Once you get about 25 miles north of NYC, you can really fly. I took Mrs. Arolpin to Quebec City a couple months ago and traffic upstate was moving at 85, and I had to pay attention to keep below 95 (in my car 80mph is exactly 3000 rpm in 6th, in her truck 3000 rpm puts me at about 98mph).
            I’ve been stopped doing triple digits before, but only in the west where they acknowledge that you’re the first car they’ve seen in 15 minutes, and agree to write it for the maximum speed that still counts as simple speeding.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            That’s because they calculate it in that fancy quantum Timbit math. Sometimes you gotta kill a meter to save a mile…

          • (((Aron)))

            In my house we call Timbits ‘L’il Horties.’

            You’re welcome.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            “Daddy, why is Santa’s sleigh flying over your work already?”

            “You mean Parliament? Uh, I don’t think that’s Santa’s sleigh, Hadrien.”

            “Is it the Millennium Falcon?”

            “No, Hadrien. It’s… some lady from Fox News in a sports car…”

        • shivaskeeper

          No. I spent a lot of time modifying that car for top end speed. I could break 200mph with it.

          I wold set the cruise control on the no limit autobahn around 130-135mph.

          • Shan

            I can’t really function over 85mph. I get all nervous and sweaty-palmed, which is a) generally not a way I like to feel and b) probably not conducive to good driving decisions/reactions on my part.

            My Abarth has a top speed of 129mph and I’ve never been near that. My son, OTOH, regularly takes it out for an “Italian tune up” which is probably why the recorded gas mileage is so bad.

          • shivaskeeper

            I drove as safe as I could at those speeds. Reaction time is the same as at lower speeds, but you come up on hazards much faster. I never got into an accident, obviously, and even at speed I drove courteously. I would give warning if I wanted someone to give me room, or pull over to let someone pass me and all that.

            I’ll not lie, it takes a lot of practice and confidence to drive really fast. Plus reworking the suspension, the engine, the exhaust, the tires and wheels, the aerodynamic characteristics and a few other things. My daily driver truck has a speedometer that goes to 100mph, but I don;t think I could hit that unless I went over a cliff with enough of a drop for me to hit terminal velocity.

            Wrecks on the autobahns were either massive, multi-car things, or one car spread over a half mile of the road.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I absolutely LOVE the stretch of TX-130 south of Austin where the speed limit is 85…

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      I like how they have “Judge” in scare quotes.
      There’s something bizarre about the way some people (mostly but not exclusively Americans) cling to military, political, and judicial titles they no longer deserve. You know for the rest of his life that orange scrotum in a bad weave will insist on being called “President Trump” [sic].

  • BloviateMe

    Sweet Jesus, that picture is like skipping to the end of a low budget remake of Death Becomes Her.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Just voted. He is currently losing to “#MeToo”.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I voted for Judge Morty.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Can I do a write-in for Canadian Lawnmower in a Tornado Guy or the cartoonist of “This is Fine”?

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            YES!!!!!

    • BloviateMe

      Done.

      Really, Taylor Swift on the list? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmgross.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      But Trump is the person of the year, assuming villains get equal weight.

    • Historicat

      “69% of people agree with you”

      Nice.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Their faces look like they’ve been duck confit……….

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Duck confit libelz

  • PixieThis

    Are they all newly rich? If not, I’m grateful to be a poor pixie from a poor family because these people are T-A-C-K-Y. In both looks and behavior.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Special guest and keynote speaker: Judge Jeanine Pirro of Faux Noos
    Generously sponsored by: Tova Leidesdorf and Ari Rifkin”

    We’re post-ideology. The Right is nothing but a massive grift to get on TV to scam others.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Can someone more fashion fabulous than I explain just what in the fuck is a “Patriotic Cocktail Attire Jacket”?

  • Thiazin Red

    Man, this really makes me appreciate the classy rich weirdos you get in the ballet patrons’ lounge.

    • anon_the_great

      I know, right?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Opera, too. That’s where all the old closeted queens who are actually just sweet, eccentric old dudes (and not shitty conservative politicians) wind up.

  • Anna Rompage

    It appears the folks who play in Trump’s inner circles have had so much plastic surgery, tat they’ve become post human…

    • Khavrinen

      That explains their faces, but how do you explain their ( seemingly non-existent ) hearts?

  • Rick Hill

    No preznit has ever had a tougher nine months……

    I’ll just leave that there.

    • Raan

      And secret love child reveal in 3, 2…

  • Raan

    Okay, so here’s what you do if you’re a Palm Beach socialite who had been planning on attending the gala before that fucked up ad. You take the money you were considering spending for admission, and you give it straight to the rescue.

    • Timothy Watson

      But what is she supposed to do with her new $15,000 dress?

      • Raan

        Hold her own damn gala. Fuck it, have the kitchen redone and call it a renovation party.

  • jesterpunk

    “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,” Kramer said.

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/6e/6e71bec210d93424d8e5a443f94b64d3f00c26c68234d4a2121f827d2af3ba9c.jpg

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Pfft. You call having your nationality and patriotism called into question, people calling your wife a particularly bad example of transgenderism, folks comparing you and your family to various members of the ape family, being called a n[****] daily, and calling for you to be lynched “rough”? Thin skin, dude.

      • jesterpunk

        And that was in his first hour after he won the election.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Gotta go get alcohol….back in a bit

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Mar-a-Lago is even less popular a venue than the ballroom at the Gotham Hotel Belle Monico, where 90% of all charity galas have been held up by supervillains.

  • Anna Rompage

    $300 for a supposedly exclusive, high brow cocktail party & dinner?

    For just $49.95 more, you can get an real, genuine, Official D J Trump commemorative coin, but wait! Act now, and we’ll throw in a free MAGA hat, and a copy of Ivanka’s latest book…

    • IdiotsforPalin

      No thanks I’d rather get a hooker…….

      • Raan

        I’d rather get 1,000 McNuggets.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        There should be enough cash left for a good amount of blow.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I’ll give you guys $50 for all three.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      For 40 bucks, you can get Trumpy Bear. Don’t watch this commercial without a tinfoil hat to protect your brain.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9qv8RSreIM

  • BMW
  • shivaskeeper

    I do a lot of volunteer work with a nonprofit. We used to do an annual charity auction/fundraiser. We stopped doing it when the venue prices got too high to where we would have to either raise the entry ticket prices to a prohibitive degree, or give the venue a bigger percentage of the price. Not to mention scheduling around all the other charity drives and getting things for the auction portion.

    I see now we were doing it all wrong. We should have just gone for bags of cash instead.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Yep, when the venue IS the charity, it’s so much easier.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “We’ll pay extra if you can get the bell hops to goose step.”
    — A Mar-a-lago client

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Stories like this just make me lament what I could do with a tenth of what these assholes have. Oh, and speaking of it all being downhill from here…

    OT: The Justice Department announced on Monday it will award more than $98 million to local police departments, giving preferential treatment to 80% of the recipients because they’d agreed to let federal immigration officers inside local jails and notify federal authorities about undocumented immigrants in local custody.

    The grants are part of a broader effort by Attorney General Jeff Sessions to reward cities that cooperate with the Trump administration’s crackdown on illegal immigration, while threatening to block standard-issue crime-fighting grants from dozens of jurisdictions that may have adopted sanctuary policies.

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/dominicholden/the-justice-department-just-announced-millions-of-dollars?utm_term=.ospVyWom5#.svKNXGVPm

    “Gosh golly, I don’t know why people think I’m racist. All I wanna do is bribe cops to racially profile and help me deport brown people! That’s not about race, it’s about SAFETY!” —Jefferson GoFuckYourself Sessions

    Between this and the hellscape that is the comment section of the Al Franken piece, I think it’s time for me to give the internet a break for a while.

    • Alan

      I though a judge already ruled they can’t do that.

  • Shibusa

    https://www.jupitermag.com/sites/default/files/scene_heard_images/3422_142_PB_JP-10.jpg

    These people need to lose their plastic surgeon’s number.

    • marxalot

      Who put a naked mole rat in a suit?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Holy fuckin’ shit!

    • IdiotsforPalin

      You know she’s not doing him….but the dog…….

    • BloviateMe

      i thought the gollum died in that volcano?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He looks like the crypt keeper and you could bounce a quarter off her face…

    • Skeptical_thinker

      I bet she has to use a sleeping mask at night. There is no way those eyes close.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        From the looks of that face, I’d say she wears a catcher’s mask.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I’ll give them a hundy if they can actually close their mouths all the way.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I think those are supposed to be “smiles”.

    • bbayliss

      One of these people is very wealthy, one of them thinks they’re attractive.

      If they can’t figure it out how are we suppose to?

    • jesuswasablack

      It looks like he’s grabbing her ass!

      • Daniel

        The risk you take with skin grafts.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          with all those facelifts, it’s up around her shoulders at this point

    • Shan

      And that lady who is trying to make herself look like Vincent from “Beauty and the Beast”. Yikes!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      I don’t know- it looks like they did a pretty good job with that burn victim guy, considering.

      I mean, he was in a fire, right? Don’t know why the posed him next to that half-melted wax mannequin of Joan Rivers circa 1993.

      Wait- was the fire at Madame Tussaud’s?

    • natoslug

      Fancy dress party in Whoville, eh?

    • reelreeler

      Lose their plastic surgeon’s number or their morticians number?

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Jesus, are they still making the Spitting Image show??

      • Incoming Ham

        They have started again. Really.

    • Incoming Ham

      She crossed that fine line between going-out-in-the-evening makeup and drag.

    • (((Aron)))

      At least he is wearing a very handsome suit. And a pretty bitchin’ tie.

    • george lastrapes

      Is there such a thing as being pre-embalmed?

  • Khavrinen

    I hear Caviar (part) Deux is a real Hot Shot.

    • Raan

      Ah, for the days before Charlie Sheen went completely bonkers.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I think you have to reach back to junior high school to find that timeline.

  • Mavenmaven

    This Tova Leidersdorf is quite a story of her own, former Miss Israel about 50 years ago who married wealthy, then allegedly refused to honor her dead husband’s charitable commitments. So birds of a feather. http://commie.droryikra.com/news/widow.shtml

  • therblig

    tom wolfe’s “social x-rays with the boiled teeth” come to life.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    As a dog, there is a lot to be offended by in this article. First, whoever wrote that tripe pretending to be a dog should STFU. Dogs can’t clap their paws and I don’t even know what else because I couldn’t read that drivel to the end.

    Also, anyone who a) gives their dog that haircut, or b) names their dog CAVIAR DEUX should be immediately reported to the ASPCA.

    • Shan

      Caviar Deux seems to indicate that there was a Caviar Un at some point.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        until it pissed on the quarter million dollar rug…

      • Captain Kraut

        The sad, short tale of Caviar Un is being used to frighten the new scullery maids at la maison Kramer, it’s not fit for polite company.

        • Shan

          I don’t think we qualify as that.

  • Daniel
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I can bet that – Ghouliani has been spotted in the Ukraine, meeting with the Russians.
      https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/rudy-giuliani-turns-up-in-ukraine-with-pro-russia-official-linked-to-paul-manaforts-clients/

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Of course he has.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I guess Rudy can fail after all. He sure is rude and reckless.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuS698b0ess

        • Daniel

          He should stop his messing around.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Moscow calling, he was there too…

          • NastyBossetti

            Better think of his future.

        • Notreelyhelping

          He’d be more tolerable if he was drinking brew for breakfast.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Except, in this case, it’s Vodka.

      • bbayliss

        His recent silence is curious.
        I harbor evil thoughts about what I’d like to see happen to him.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Maybe he will become a Soviet citizen, like Seagal?

  • Michael R
  • LiberalANDProud

    “Well, we had a good run, America. It’s all downhill from here.”

    Where have you been for the last 40 years. The fire is over. The building burned to the ground. We’re just turning the ashes and fighting for scraps.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    And winner by unanimous vote is- April Ryan:

    “I’m clearly thankful for all of you in the room,” Sanders quipped.

    The press secretary offered the first question to CNN contributor April Ryan with the condition that she say what she was most thankful for.

    “I’m thankful to be able to talk to you and question you,” Ryan explained. “I hope you felt the passion of my thankfulness.”

  • Kryptonian Canis

    There is such a gross underbelly to America’s upper crust. It only goes to show how the concept of meritocracy in this country is mostly bullshit.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE REAL ISSUE HERE?

    ROBOTS ARE HAVING ROBOT BABIES!!!!!!!!

    WHEN DID THIS START AND WHY AREN’T WE DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

    • BigCSouthside

      I fully embrace our new robot overlords

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      But robot sex isn’t very good. Too mechanical.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I don’t think the incels would care. It would be the best sex they would ever get.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          It would be the best only sex they would ever get.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Bay, the robots will develop AI, and dump the in elsewhere for someone with feelings.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Yes. They’d probably never pay their robot baby child support though.

    • jesterpunk

      Damn even robots can get laid and would prefer other robots to the Incels.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Chad Thundercock has already tapped that.

        • jesterpunk

          Didnt Trump ban Chad?

        • (((Aron)))

          Chad Thundercockbot.

          OR

          Chatbot Thundercock.

    • Crystalclear12

      Babies having babies!
      She looks fresh out of the box!

    • Professor Fate

      we’ve seen this movie. It does not end well.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Skinjobs.

  • bumfug

    Sweet bleeding Jesus, Toni Holt Kramer looks like a nightmare Pez dispenser.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I’m only going to fundraisers for charities and causes I really believe in. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/39ba86567e320b03ebda4fcf6044e96786660685f48530b0437b1bfa71522089.jpg

    • Skeptical_thinker

      OMFG! Do people know how to read anymore?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Forget it Jake, it’s Canada — uh, well, probably somewhere out in the oil patch where they only read Bible picture books.

    • Daniel

      I love that misprint. It should be “bizzare craft show”.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Yes, That, too.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m pretty sure I can take just about any diabetic kid in a street fight…

    • kilgoretrout

      My money’s on Santa

    • Crystalclear12

      So like a prize fight situation?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Considering it’s Canada, shouldn’t it be a pee-wee hockey fight?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Justin sez ur doin it wrong.

      Brass Knuckles Brazeau was too drunk to comment.

    • NastyBossetti

      Do I have to pay to fight the kids? Is it a raffle? Or is it more like, you just have to show up, and they assign you a kid to right?

    • JohnBull
    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Furthermore, nothing says ‘Christmas’ more than a marketplace in Muslim countries!

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        How bazaar!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      That’s pretty sweet- I actually live near that Legion.

      Gonna go fight some diabetic kids next Sunday!

      (watch out for the hyperglycemic ones- if they get windmilling, it’s hard to get inside their guard)

    • Major_Major_Major

      Damn, you fight children with diabetes? Do you at least wear boxing gloves and not those MMA things.

  • BadKitty904

    Dang, that’s *quite* a collection of grinning corpses!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I wonder if “The Trumpettes USA” is going to add a surcharge to the ticket price to pay Judge Jeanine’s speeding ticket:
    http://thehill.com/homenews/media/361239-fox-news-host-pirro-ticketed-for-speeding-at-119-mph

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Hahahahahaha! Dangerous idiot.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,” Kramer said.

    Harrison died of pneumonia in his first month of office. Rich people really need to get off of that cross.

    • Khavrinen

      “See? He only had a rough one month!”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah!

      • ANNG14

        Such a poor little victim. All those scams and cheating.
        Trump has bad karma. In the end, he will wish he did not “win”.

    • BadKitty904

      Turmp is not a “President”.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Technicality!

    • schmannity

      Really? Did 7 states form another country in the first two months of his Presidency?

      –Zombie Lincoln

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Waylon Flowers Libelz!!1!111

    • BadKitty904

      Ha! Beat me to it!

      Grape minds, etc…

  • jesuswasablack

    OT, I hear Chucks going to have to step down once this ass-grab pic goes viral!
    http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/intelligencer/2016/11/14/14-nancy-pelosi-charles-schumer.w710.h473.2x.jpg

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    TBF I do a lot of fundraising galas (anyone on the weekend night shift has seen me bitch about all the drunk wypipo dancing awkwardly). Despite having to bribe the rich folks with a formal evening out with overpriced food and dancing to corporate band versions of Mustang Sally and We Are Family, they do raise quite a bit of money for the charities involved. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t spend the money year after year. Rich people need the excuse to get all dressed up and act pretentious and they REALLY need the opportunity to have everyone see them being generous. If it were just a matter of writing a check while sitting at the kitchen table, half of them wouldn’t do it. But the opportunity to show off in front of your rich friends and be seen throwing money at a good cause is a whole different story. So in that sense, those fundraisers really do work and really do help the causes they are held for…

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That reminds me of an episode of Frasier where Niles is desperate to get tickets to a play:

      “I need to see this play. I need people to see me see this play!”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        So much this- rich people having an unending need to show off their wealth

  • Michael R

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders demanded that each reporter say what in their life they are thankful for before they were allowed to ask a question.

    Sarah then traced everyone’s hand on construction paper ,
    but fled moments later .

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c63af2c9cd5489458c272289348b18f09741ca967f1c55597cada4e2914a3c30.png

    • jesterpunk

      “I am thankful thanksgiving is coming up soon so I don’t have to listen to your bullshit for a few days.”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “I am thankful Bob Mueller is getting to the bottom of this.”

      • Jon Sussex

        “And if he grabs it, he’s fired.”

    • Kryptonian Canis

      When the Press Secretary hates the very concept of having a free press.

    • CripesAmighty

      “Mortality.”

    • eyelashviper

      While consuming the contents of all the paste jars.

    • Earl Of Sammich

      “I am thankful that I wear glasses (20/80 vision) so that I can take them off whenever your face appears on my T.V.”

  • JohnBull

    Conservatives love to ask why we don’t mind Hollywood millionaires spending their money like idiots. If Nic Cage wants to buy a $20 million castle just to have an elephant shit all over it, fine by me. But I don’t see Nic Cage lobbying Congress to privatize our pensions, defund our schools, or invade Iraq. Big goddamn difference.

  • BadKitty904

    Alt-title: When Good Money Meets Bad Plastic Surgeons

  • BadKitty904
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Stop. Stop it right now. This is slander. Slander, I say.

      • Frances

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !fy301d:
        ➽➽
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    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I knew I couldn’t be the only one who saw that resemblance. I thought the picture was morphed, at first look.

      • BadKitty904

        “Horrifying” hardly begins to cover it…

    • CynicalOptimist

      I’m pretty sure Madam is a Dem!

    • Incoming Ham

      Oh. My. God. Memor…mares.

      • BadKitty904

        Brought to you by the wonder of retro TV channels!

    • schmannity

      It’s nice Donald and Ivanna can still maintain a cordial relationship.

    • looks like Hillary lol

  • BigCSouthside

    I dont get the rich. If I was super wealthy I’d have a main house that has a ton of land and could basically support all the shit I like to do for fun. If I held a charity event it would be “hey everyone, give 10 grand to these people this week then come over to my house and we’ll have a big ass BBQ and do some fun shit and I don’t give a damn what you wear”

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      That is the point. It’s like the Westminster Dog Show, except they are their own showdogs.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,” Kramer said.

    Even Lincoln got to enjoy a nice play.

    • Khavrinen

      Er… “part of” a nice play.

      • Indeniable Ron

        ‘My American Cousin’ has a notoriously weak third act anyway.

  • Shan

    Is anyone else having problem with the flagging function?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Wow. The robot baby comes out angry and covered in assorted viscous fluids.

  • alpacapunchbowl
  • Just Noh

    glad to see amanda lepore’s ugly stepsister has found something to occupy her time

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Gee, judging by the look of the attendees, a charity gala at Mar-a-Lago comes with quite the Price…

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51SDWK0ZH7L._SY445_.jpg

  • SweetDeeKat

    Thanks so much for the photos. Damn, I am aging great compared to these harridans. A strapless dress would hang kind of low, but I wouldn’t terrify children and horses.

  • BadKitty904
  • Spurning Beer

    Sweet mother of pearl, that Trumpette woman looks like a Macy’s parade balloon depiction of a drag queen. [shivers involuntarily]

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,” Kramer said.

    Hold on, I thought no other president has accomplished this much* in nine months?

    *list of achievements to be produced some time next week, I’m told

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      …right alongside his tax returns.

    • JohnBull

      Not comprehensive, but…
      1. Make fun of Rosie O’Donnell
      2. Make fun of Kim Jong Un
      3. Make it harder to travel to Cuba.
      4. Kill the environment.
      5. Insult journalists in front of their kids at Halloween.
      6. Kill four guys in Niger.
      7. Raise taxes on the people who stupidly voted for you.
      8. Make it easier for corporations to say untrue shit and call it news.

      YOU try doing that in nine months!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        6(a) Don’t mispronounce Niger

        • ariel_gee_398

          And tweet without misspelling it. Cause you know his predictive text learned a different word.

      • Earl Of Sammich

        9. Blow Putin.

    • jesterpunk

      He will get back to you in 2 weeks.

    • LucindathePook

      W H Harrison and Jimmy Garfield leap to mind.

  • bbayliss

    I just heard “The number of people who profess to being republicans has declined. At the start of the trump presidency 31% of voters surveyed in the gallop poll identified with the GOP, by October, 24%”

    His support among republicans has remained steady at about 80% but it’s 80% of a smaller number.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      I have taken some solace in that fact. But I fear that, unlike Trump, there is a lowest setting on this bar.

      • bbayliss

        It’s the Bush effect.

    • Alan

      And 80% of bank robbers think that bank robbery is okay. Always pondered why they report statistics like that.

    • Hiss

      Is the gallop poll conducted on horseback? With Mongols?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    This kind of thing is sort of why the right doesn’t trust government. THEY KNOW HOW MUCH THEY STEAL FROM GOVERNMENT!1!!11

    • CripesAmighty

      They’re not even pretending anymore. Just straight up, in-your-face graft: “whaddyagonnadobouddit?”

  • ariel_gee_398

    I really don’t think that people whose idea of classy evening wear is that tacky should be deciding what qualifies as “greatness” for America.

  • Alan

    How is this legal?

    • marxalot

      Congress and the DoJ ain’t give a damn, is how.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Whatcha gonna do, call a cop?

      • Khavrinen

        Sorry, they’re all busy at the police officer’s fundraiser…

    • jesterpunk

      Because congress doesnt give a shit?

    • yyyaz

      It’s cool because Putin approves?

    • TJ Barke

      Swamp don’t care.

  • marxalot

    Reminder: money only equals class when we’re talking about struggle.

  • bbayliss

    People this wealthy can’t afford a decent graphic designer?

    • jesterpunk

      They need more tax cuts first.

    • Khavrinen

      From what I’ve read on Clients From Hell (https://clientsfromhell.net/) there’s a vast difference between “hiring a decent graphic designer” and “listening to a decent graphic designer”.

      • MizzMazz

        Yeah, I should have scrolled down before I made my remark above. By no means do I have a degree in graphic design, but dammit, I worked in printing long enough to know what looks good and what does not. Some people just want things that look like a child’s birthday invitation, or something with five different fonts because they think it looks ‘fun’. You can try to guide the client, but at the end of the day, they want what they want, and at the lowest possible price.

      • bbayliss

        point taken

  • Joe Beese
    • yyyaz

      Dead-Eyed Dick Dons Derpbonnet.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    1. If La Trumpette thinks there won’t be anything left over after expenses, maybe the IRS should be looking into this? Bc events of this nature generally state the “fair market value” of the ticket, and the amount above that is deductible.

    2. Oops! Not any more! Republican Tax Reform (for the super rich) takes away the charitable deduction!

    3. NM, they can just deduct it as a business expense.

    4. I hate these people.

    • Slamtundra



      6. Profit!

  • Jonny On Maui

    a sort of shrine to Trump

    This person needs serious votes of the electro-shock variety…

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Trump just endorsed Moore.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Took him long enough. I mean, that swirly had to get flushed eventually.

    • natoslug

      Pedophiles of a feather gotta stick together.

    • jesterpunk

      Good, I hope he keeps supporting Moore as much as he can and as often as he can. It worked out so well for the other politicians Trump supported so far this year.

    • Alan

      I’m shocked.

    • Daniel

      Link?

      • Alan

        Don’t even need a link anymore. Just make up the most outrageous shit you can think of and it magically turns out to be true. Started November 8, 2016.

  • goonemeritus

    Marketing a $60,000 sex doll that can get pregnant seems like a flawed business plan.

    • Khavrinen

      “No, honest, it’s a feature not a bug…”

    • yyyaz

      Depends how much you can sell the babbies for.

    • natoslug

      The baby is still more human than all four of the women in the first photo.

  • Lefty Wright

    Looks like they need a charity event raising money for the scourge of Botox. Especially that last photo. Maybe with a booth for the charity “Just Say No to Collagen”.

  • ariel_gee_398

    This article could serve as the justification for a study into the impact of long-term exposure to peroxide-based hair dyes on cognitive function.

    • Moar likely to be approved than a study of the long term effects of gun violence

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Assumes cognitive function previously in evidence.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Judging from that first picture, it looks like a lot of those donations went directly into the pockets of those ladies’ plastic surgeons.

  • CripesAmighty

    It’s too late. By the time Mueller gets anywhere they’ll have made off with the carpet padding and the curtain rod brackets.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Is that an entire fucking fox on the left? Or more than one?

    *flashes back to scene from ghostbusters*

    • Sheepshagger

      That’s about 15 minks. Just what you need to keep the Florida chill off.

  • Sheepshagger

    Richard Nixon. Standing up for curmudgeonly old fucks everywhere. https://twitter.com/nixonlibrary/status/932722663340077056

    • kilgoretrout

      That thing with Lincoln gave him pause.

      • Sheepshagger

        “Have to participate “

    • Alan

      Off my lawn.

      • Sheepshagger

        I actually love Nixon. He was so obviously a guy who would’ve been much happier as a mob money launderer and back room guy, but he just transparently needed the power to salve his own terrible ego. I was about to say you won’t see one like him again, but then I remembered.

  • Professor Fate

    As I was reading this some where behind me I kept hearing the sound of knitting needles going click click click.

    Dear lord these people make the Russian Aristocrats before the revolution seem like civic minded and serious people.

    • Alan

      I keep hearing the thud of a guillotine. Oops, metaphorically of course.

      • Daniel

        Those votes sound like severing vertebrae.

      • commatoes

        Dolt likes his cake.

    • Red Bird

      I hear celebrating the end of the Romanov clan is not popular in Russia.

  • MizzMazz

    Trumpettes? There’s nothing ‘ette’ about them. It looks like a reunion of Dallas actors. And that paper the flyer is printed on? We used to sell that kind of stuff at Kinko’s in the 80’s, and thought it was tacky as hell then.
    Yes, I’m in a bitchy mood.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Dallas actors? As in Debbie Does Dallas?

      • MizzMazz

        LOL, Dallas the 80’s TV show, night time soap opera.

  • OrG

    I’m not a big city lawyer, but this shit sounds illegal to me.

  • AmusedAmused

    The first picture: Jesus Christ, is that a purse in the shape of a severed Barbie head the woman in the middle is wearing?

    It’s like these people are in a contest to see who can be the most vulgar.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Looks like it was a four-way tie.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Is there some laboratory where they clone blond women with glow in the dark teeth?

    • Sheepshagger

      It’s called Florida

    • Marion in Savannah

      It’s in the basement of Faux Noise. They churn them out like it’s some sort of awful factory, and then release them on the world.

  • So… did those women model their looks after “Corpse Bride”, or is that just a happy accident?

  • aureolaborealis

    I am always in awe of the goodness of people who do fund-raising activities that are just whatever they would have felt like doing anyway, but with pledged support. “Look at me! I went on this $10,000 trip, and I raised $300 for starving orphans in Africa!”
    “Could you have maybe really sacrificed and gone on a pauperly $8,000 trip, and just given the other $2,000 to the charity?”
    “I RAISED $300 FOR STARVING ORPHANS IN AFRICA!”

    A sometimes near-second to my cynical mind: Service vacations wherein resources have to be redirected to managing and/or undoing the “work” of the clueless first-worlders.
    (I acknowledge that some service vacations probably do actually provide a net positive, but many of them do not. I say this as a former clueless teen-aged First-World do-gooder living in a Third-World country. I think that, at best, we did no damage. No one was happy to see us coming. One of our “service” group once had several hundred dollars stolen from her purse at a refugee camp. The refugees took a collection — let me repeat that: THE REFUGEES TOOK A FUCKING COLLECTION!!! — to reimburse her. But hey, we did good stuff, too. For example, we taught the kids — refugee kids at a refugee camp where food was not plentiful — how to color macaroni with markers and make necklaces out of it! YOU’RE WELCOME! We could have done so much more good if we had just sent our weekly spending money to the camp without actually showing up.)

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      One of my ultra spoiled younguns did go with a church group to help build housing in Mexico. The organization had been doing it for many years, so hopefully they were attuned to the needs of the people in that location. It was a good experience for her, it seemed like they didn’t do too much damage.

    • commatoes

      An entire episode of Frasier revolved around Niles’ demotion to 2nd. tier charity galas. The Hoedown for the Homeless was a punchline.

  • TJ Barke

    Why is it we keep needing to raise money for these charities? Can’t we just solve the problems?

  • Red Bird

    I highly doubt dogs would choose Palm Beach over The Keys. Cats maybe but not dogs. Also too dogs have 20/20 vision. The glasses must be fake.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Hemingway’s polydactyl cats seem to like the Keys.

    • H0mer0

      if they lived to 40 or 50, don’t they get presbyopia?

      • Red Bird

        Probably but that’s beside the point. The dog is obviously a Russian troll.

  • Zwoof

    So, the douchenozzle is still selling Woof Tickets, eh?

  • Jgb979

    I didn’t know so much class and sophistication could be contained in one photo.

    Adorable they’re doing it to make a political stand. Trump still views you as nothing more than marks to grift

  • Anna Rompage

    Jesus christ, I bet there will be enough silicone in the Mar-A-Lago ballroom, to supply Intel all of their global needed for the next decade…

    • MizzMazz

      Trouble is silicone and silicon are different things. Not like these chuckleheads would know.

  • commatoes

    To show that common sense is not directly related to net worth, I present a Mercedes covered in Swarovski crystals with seats trimmed in mink. I will not tell you how to spend your money but I reserve the right to mock you for it. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/167c8bf30cf14ba37fc780f4cb102aad1d584f9b4e65ec22dc912e302f52bb63.jpg

    PS The car ran about 5 million when new.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    Looks like Cruella Deville switched to Siberian Huskies.

  • Jon Sussex

    Death Becomes Her is a documentary, apparently.

    • tomamitai

      Terry Gilliam’s Brazil also, too.

  • Jim QuinnX

    I realize it’s sexist to make fun of a person based on her appearance, so I won’t say what immediately came to mind when I saw that photo at the end.

    • Terry Doyle

      Pretentious whore?

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    I would gladly spend $300.00 to not have to shoehorn myself into “patriotic cocktail attire” and spend an evening with a bunch of people like the Trumpettes. I actually think they could raise more money that way.

  • Viktor

    The Ramada Ballroom is more elegant than Trumps gaudy shrine to himself.

  • nightmoth

    The photo of the Strumpettes made me feel really old because it triggered a childhood memory of an old quiz show called To Tell The Truth. Presented with such a lineup as pictured here, the question for the celebrity panel would have been “Which one is the REAL hooker?”

    • eyelashviper

      Or Ghouliani in drag.

    • BosGrl

      And why do they all have identical faces?

      • Unclejeems

        Uh, they all have the same pricey plastic surgeon?

      • Iam Reading

        Cuz they have the same surgeon

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      And the answer would probably be AOT, K.

  • JParkerSD46

    Big Dog Ranch has a “no kill” policy. Guess it’s because they aren’t dealing with elephants and leopards. And if this isn’t profiting Dear Leader and exploiting the Emoluments Clause, then you, Wonkette, have correctly stated “it’s all downhill from here”.

    • Me not sure

      I was all for Trump’s elephant policy until I found out that they weren’t referencing Republicans, but real elephants. Who knew?

  • Holly

    If the four Trumpette ladies gave up the cost of just one plastic surgery they’d meet whatever monetary goal they set for their charity. And the woman in the last picture with Trump???Holy fuckity fuck. All those “procedures” would buy a whole lot of food for all those rescue dogs. I’ll never understand why women spend the kind of money they do to do this to themselves.

    • Me not sure

      I can remember when rictus grins were thought to look ghoulish. Now people apparently pay good money to get them.

      • Suttree

        If only they would cryogenically freeze themselves instead.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        That’s worse than a rictus grin. That’s well on its way to full-metal Wildenstein.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a8242f7dad0907e1d6432fc32e1defce226194a537b5f4be2bd7b630d27c629.png

        • Me not sure

          I’m guessing that if you ran your finger up and down over those things the flapping noise would be deafening.

        • SDGeoff3

          I’ve never understood this one.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            She says it’s because she was losing her husband’s interest and he liked lions. I suspect it’s just a rich-lady form of cutting.

          • SDGeoff3

            Hmm; never thought of it that way. I believe you have something there.

          • Slamtundra

            Shit. I could’ve read one non-comment further and not been a dumbass. Oh well.

          • Slamtundra

            I’ve never thought of it that way, but that makes a lot of sense.

          • H0mer0

            I thought it was leprosy that caused “Leonine facies.”

        • CountryClubJihadi

          You should see how the labiaplasty turned out.

      • H0mer0

        the rictus grins were apparently related to strychnine or tetanus toxin (another clostridium derived toxin)

        • Me not sure

          I come for the snark and stay for the esoterica.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Well, that is certainly one way a surgeon can make money.

    “SUCH A NICE BOAT GEORGIE”

  • Suttree

    So Turnip will be holding a fundraiser for himself. At a place that he owns. To benefit himself. Are there no laws against this for a sitting prednisent?

  • Ωbjectifier

    “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/15558a76c1baab80433ede49d2f4039c131ae79b0f26e24bd2c7638bede06904.png

  • Marion in Savannah

    OT, but how on earth did this happen? The Justice Department is suing to block the merger of AT&T and Time Warner.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/20/business/dealbook/att-time-warner-merger.html

    • James

      Trump’s administration said they would only allow the merger to go through if CNN was sold. It is a bald attack on the I Amendment.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I want to know what a “Patriotic Cocktail Attire Jacket” is. Is it a tux with stars and stripes?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Apparently something that goes with silicone.

      • SDGeoff3

        Has to be.

    • SDGeoff3

      It’s a tshirt with a tux on the front, wrapped in a flag.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Iam Reading

    Fake smiles, plastic faces, and no souls.

  • Lambsendbeds

    Holy shit – just look at the Frankenface on that Trumpette woman! It looks as though it was made by one of those magicians who twists little balloons together, only instead of a doggie he made her.

  • Roadstergal

    “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months,” Kramer said.

    I’ve had a shitty few months thanks to him. Where’s my charity money?

    • tomamitai

      “I don’t think any president has ever had such a rough nine months”
      Garfield and Harrison beg to differ.

      • Roadstergal

        Where’s Charles Guiteau when you need him?

        I mean, with votes.

      • Last Hussar

        Lincoln had quite a rough 55 months or so, follows by a pretty poor evening.

  • Left Coast Tom

    How does one turn their home into a shrine for Trump? Do Russian hookers sell their pee over the internet?

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Da. Personal delivery!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Judging by recent news, TV judge Jeanine Pirro can make the trip from NYC to Palm Beach in about 12 hours.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Or twelve minutes, if some dumb copper doesn’t get in her way.

  • gallbladder

    Jesus Fuck: So much plastic surgery in one place.

  • SDGeoff3

    This is why we never make fun of drag queens. Ever.
    They should invite RuPaul for some fundraising festivity!

    • Meccalopolis

      For some make up and fashion help. Stat

  • Marc Berrenson

    What’s with the redhead?

  • norcalOG

    As one new Mar employee emphatically stated: “Las mujeres con el Presidente son muy rica. Los perros tambien!”

    • tomamitai

      “Las perras con el presidente son muy ricas. ¡Los perros también!”

      ¡Reparado eso para ti!

      • norcalOG

        Si, es verdad. Son tambien mas macho que el Presidente, no?

        • H0mer0

          mais oui!

  • Me not sure

    Well… at least we know that “Judge” Jeanine Pirro will get there on time.
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/fox-news-host-jeanine-pirro-busted-driving-119-miles-per-hour-in-upstate-new-york/

  • tomamitai

    The lady in that last picture needs to find a better plastic surgeon: https://youtu.be/Bnx95KyQEAA

    • Incoming Ham

      I remember that actress was on Soap and her gag was that she got face lifts.

      • H0mer0

        was that the one who played Angela on “Who’s the Boss?”

        • Incoming Ham

          Not sure but maybe.

        • Incoming Ham

          She may have played her mother.

  • SoccerMomsforSatan

    Christ on a motherfucking cracker, I can’t even with that pic.

    • Sko Hayes

      Nose job, cheek implants, face lifts (more than one), fat injection in the lips, many many shots of botox, veneers and she’s still ugly inside.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I’d venture chin implants as well, they usually complete the set.

        • Sko Hayes

          Ah yes, also has the added benefit of tightening the wattles under the neck (too harsh? LOL)

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Not when it is accurate.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    There’s not enough Crepe Erase™ in the world.

  • azeyote

    why are they all trying to look like Jack Nicholson as the joker

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Because they all succeed at it?

    • Slamtundra

      The one lady in the picture with President Fuckhead looks a bit like that weird Jigsaw puppet from Saw.

  • george lastrapes

    What’s important is not what you or I think of her face- how does the pool boy like it?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The actual pool boy or the pool boy in the porno tape?

  • aureolaborealis
  • NorthernSaber

    Fuck me standing. That pic looks like the Stepford Wives went to Westworld and something REALLY went off the rails…

  • tehbaddr

    No, nothing out of the ordinary going on here, move along you plebes!

  • Duke

    When you’ve spent your adult life being valued for your looks, old age is petrifying.

    I feel sorry for them.

    • Incoming Ham

      When you are pretty you are treated differently – WHICH IS NOT RIGHT, but it happens. The minute you start to visibly age (botox doesn’t help much) that screams to a halt. I know – cry me a river, Charlotte.

      ~ a former model.

      I have aged out of my “day job.” A lot of digital agencies don’t want older people with experience. We are too expensive and don’t look cool enough for clients – I am beyond my purple hair stage – it just doesn’t look good anymore. I am looking for “silver” agencies whose only purpose is to represent women who are older. Americans are learning what the rest of the world already know – size and age don’t define beauty.

      • blaid droog

        50 years ago my day job was male escort. Now I’m the one paying. The painted ponies go round and round, in the circle game.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          My husbands best friend was the cute young man who “dated” all the lonely wives in Lima, Peru back in the 70’s. He chuckled over the fat, rich old men not taking care of their wives, but paying for “girlfriends” instead.
          Now when he goes down there he is the one paying “girlfriends”.
          I pointed out he was doing the same thing, but he says she loves him so it is different. Now I see how it perpetuates from generation to generation.

    • blaid droog

      The s-trumpetts look petrified.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Meanwhile, Trump looks at the Trumpettes and only thinks “too old, not tens, totally would NOT bang.”

    • Keith Taylor

      Meanwhile, any sane straight woman or gay bloke looks at Donald Trump and thinks, “Bloated, repulsive, unscrupulous bully, not even a three, and if it was a quarter-century younger and as rich as it claims to be, still totally would NOT bang.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was mainly making the point that these women worship Trump, and he wouldn’t spit on them, because he would consider them useless because they’re old.

        • Keith Taylor

          ‘S right. Point taken and I agree. I was just saying that Donald Trump is one hell of a person to be judging anybody as “not attractive enough.” Why they worship Trump is something only God knows. Maybe even God isn’t sure.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’ve never understood black Republicans, gay Republicans, women Republicans, and I will NEVER understand old ladies who think Trump is great, when he clearly thinks they’re garbage.

          • blaid droog

            So what do you think about gay republican nazi jews? Be honest.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Poor buggers haven’t got a clue. Or have one hell of self-hating issue.

          • Sid Pevear

            Somehow, I don’t believe GOD has anything to do with these people. Just guessing.

          • blaid droog

            Just further proof that whvh, or jehovah, or yawway only exists in the fevered minds of goyim fundamentalists. In my life experience most jews are as atheistic as I am.

      • Incoming Ham

        He is the human analog of the word “moist.”

        • Slamtundra

          Yuck.

  • Incoming Ham

    Mrs. Kramer needs to back off on the filler. I’m all about the self improvement in whatever way you want to do it, but there is a thin line between looking natural and swollen. When your doctor says “enough,” listen.

    Also, does anyone else remember the residents original views on Cheeto Jesus when he first moved into their area? They weren’t fans and a lot of them still aren’t. He attracts a lot of unwanted attention, media trucks block up the streets, and reporters trample everything. He’s a less than desirable addition to the social scene due to the fact he is a fatuous boor.

    But hey, five ass kissing bottle blonds with more money than sense like to throw him parties, so hey…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I like the Jews who are throwing him a big party. I guess they didn’t hear the chants of the fine folks in Charlottesville?

      • Incoming Ham

        He has everyone convinced that he is going to do things for them he will never ever do.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Here’s a bad sign for Trump. Shel Adelson has finally wised up. At least to the point of not giving money to people who transparently want to shove him into an oven.

          Baby steps.

      • Ten bucks says the “jews” throwing the party are evangelical doomsayers

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I think they are Jews who support Israel, which is fine, but I think I’d be a little worried about the company Trump keeps if I was them (Cough…BANNON…cough…Breitbart…cough ACTUAL Nazis). I think they’re willing to overlook Trump’s anti-semitic buddies, as long as he supports Israel. Personally, I’d be a little nervous about someone who takes advice from Bannon.

      • blaid droog

        Do you suppose sheldon adelson would be ok with nazi jokes as long as trump sux his dick? He does have more money than the orange goyim, plus his casinos don’t go bankrupt.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Caviar Deux? I knew caviar. I ate caviar. (It’s just fish eggs and not very tasty, really, but I did.)

    You, sir, are not caviar. Woof, woof.

  • SeeTrain65

    You may remember Toni Holt Kramer from her appearance on Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask) during the “What’s My Perversion?” segment.

    She’s obviously changed perversions since then.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Her imdb bio, which seems to have come directly from her publicity agent, is so fulsomely self-congratulatory that it could only have come from a future Trumpette.

      Go, read and cringe, if you dare.

    • 3FingerPete
  • How can you say we are going downhill when there will be patriotic cocktail attire jackets????

  • 3FingerPete

    Kramer: How much do you think booking the room and the food will cost us?
    Mar-A-Lago booking agent: How much do you plan on charging each guest?
    Kramer: About $300 a ticket.
    Mar-A-Lago booking agent: Now that is quite a coincidence!

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Every time I look at pictures of women like Toni Holt Kramer I feel better about my old face. And about the fact that my lips aren’t puffed into a permanent duck-lips position. I mean, I hate being old, and if there was a time machine I’d go back thirty years or so and make a lot of better choices, but at the end of the day, I like the old shmush, wrinkles and all, a whole lot better than I would like to look as though I’d been extruded, air-puffed, varnished, and coated in glitter.

    • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

      I like the phrase “old shmush”

  • (((Aron)))

    That is what’s called ‘New Money,’ folks. Old Money don’t play that way.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Sure they do, they just think they’re discerning not snooty. Also too they’d send engraved invitations instead.
      (It was part of the world I grew up in.)

    • blaid droog

      So you’re saying babs bush never sucked dick for cash?

      • (((Aron)))

        Not even going to dignify that one.

  • MAZS

    If it wasn’t on this, Ms. Kramer would simply be wasting her money on more hideous plastic surgery. But then again, we don’t care how rich people spend their money, right?

    • Mark Lungo

      I guess sharing some of it with poor people was never an option.

      • MAZS

        plastic surgery for poor people–you might e able to sell that fundraiser to Ms. Kramer

        • Mark Lungo

          Yeah, so they won’t look so haggard during her annual visit to the local soup kitchen.

    • blaid droog

      It would be nice if they tossed a few ameros my way. When it comes to cash, I have no scruples.

  • ANNG14

    Too bad they had no principles and now they are old with way too much plastic.

    • george lastrapes

      I think I figured it out.
      Good plastic surgery should be indetectible. But onlookers would not be thinking of how much $$$ got spent. So the obscenely wealthy go for grotesque, so that envious viewers say to themselves, “She must have spent MILLIONS to look THAT BAD!”

      • ANNG14

        Maybe, I think they just overdo it. There is nothing subtle about the look they want.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        As a former surgical assistant, I think you may be on to something.
        There are tune-ups involved in keeping it fresh. Many overcompensate and look downright alien until it reaches what I call the settling-in period.

  • Sid Pevear

    It sure looks like these women were using their $150,000 annual cosmetic allowance. Looks like those plastic surgeons were waiting on them.

    • blaid droog

      Looks like those plastic surgeons fucked them all with surgical instruments. Incompetently.

  • Flatulus

    This my friends is “Recreational Botox”.

  • Beawild

    Trumpettes? More like brain dead strumpets. Empty headed dimbats.

  • Canned Covfefe

    And these are the kind of folks who give poodles a bad name.

  • richardgrabman

    US tax deduction rules are insane. Why is the percentage of a “charity” event like these tax deductible, and not just the teeny-tiny percentage actually given to the charity. Is that “Trumpette” event not an “emolument” for the President.

    • blaid droog

      It may not be an emolument but it sure as fuck is a blow job. Plus the trumpetts will remove their dentures for an extra sawbuck.

  • David Chaillou

    Congratulations on the faux French snobbery. “Caviar Deux” rhymes with “MR2” and definitely sounds shitty.

    • axonneuron

      Isn’t Caviar Deux another way of saying fish shit?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Those smug little men with their smug little schemes
    They forgot one thing:
    The play isn’t over by a long shot yet!
    There are heroes in the world,
    Princesses are heroes in the world,
    And one of them will save us.
    Wait and see!
    Wait and see!

    There won’t be Trumpettes or Tweets of blather
    To say she’s coming.
    No Russian goombas, no corporate choir,
    No sound of tiny thumbing.
    She may not be the cavaliere
    Tall and graceful, fair and strong.
    Doesn’t matter, just as long as she comes along!

    But not with Trumpettes or pussy grabbing
    Or yellow hairpieces.
    She maybe daring, she may be dashing,
    Or maybe she’s a farmer.
    We can wait, what’s another day?
    She has lots of hills to climb.
    And a hero
    Doesn’t come till the nick of time!

    Don’t look for Trumpettes or third wives pouting
    To guarantee her!
    There won’t be Trumpettes, but sure as shooting
    You’ll know her when you see her!
    Don’t know when, don’t know where,
    And I can’t even say that I care!
    All I know is, the minute you turn
    And she’s suddenly there,

    There won’t be Trumpettes!
    There are no Trumpettes!
    Who the fuck needs Trumpettes?

  • schmannity

    Or The Trumpettes USA, led by a totally normal lady named Toni Holt Kramer, “who has turned part of her home into a sort of shrine to Trump.”

    TOTALLY STOLE MY IDEA https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/91d49b588dcdd076a56121ac30587124ba473d5fbc7b5b04bcf8c84ec39e3528.jpg

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      dafuq? ’tis some whorable feng shui there. The asswhipe dispenser should be a double wide to make the coke lines easier to chop.

      Newbs.

  • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰

    What is the woman on the left holding? The shiny redheaded thing? Is that a shrunken head?

    It is freaking me the fuck out.

    • sillyclucker

      I noticed that too. She cut a baby’s head off !

  • blaid droog

    Those trumpette whores look exactly like the kind of whores the donald would reject. I don’t believe he would grab any of their pussies with a ten foot claw. He would, however, grab their checkbooks with a pair of latex gloves.

    • Mintie

      I had a similar thought–basically, that they were his fans only because they were too old to have been sexually harassed by him. I omitted the repetition of “whores,” though, since I’m pretty sure you need to be fucked to qualify as a whore and I don’t think there are many people taking them up on that offer.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Wives with faces full of Botox and their husbands with Viagra raging boners, those have to be some really strange events.

  • blaid droog

    Ask lara why it’s ok for the trump Siamese twins to kill endangered species.

  • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

    I look at these and other hideously plasticized “people” and it pisses me off that transpeople have to get approval letters from psych doctors for the surgeons before we can get the surgery we need.

    • Frances

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !fy300d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleLegitimateOrganicJobsFromHomeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!fy300lh

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Go fuck yourself.

    • H0mer0

      I had to write such a letter for a patient. The replicant pictured above looks like she chose the Jay Leno model. Not the most flattering model but who is going to tell the truth when they can make so much more with flattery

  • William

    Wow. The Golden girls have really let themselves go.

  • NotConvinced

    Is Trump posing with one of those sex dolls? MMM plastic and silicone. Vulcanized to last.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      She looks like the Madame puppet Waylon Flowers used to wield.

  • Manhattan123

    The physician-training robot looks more lifelike than the Trumpettes.

  • Joseph Stans

    How did they ever find so many unfortunate expressions of the genome?

    • Earl Of Sammich

      Family trees with no branches.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    can’t help but note Kramer’s event was going to have Judge Jeanine? Is that still on after her 119 MPH adventure?

  • Hiss

    That ribbon is misspelled. Should be “Strumpettes.”

  • Smibo

    “It’s not the charity that matters anymore. It’s the venue.”

    Somehow, I’m skeptible that it was ever really the charity that mattered to “former member”, above. Oh, getting together with a few of our friends & frenemies and spending extravagant sums on fete-ing ourselves this season also too just so happens to be 100% tax deductible, as long as we throw a feelgood sliver of it at the trendiest charities? How uncouth of you to pose such an impertinent question!

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