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These days, when someone tells you they are a family values oriented Republican, your best bet is to immediately wonder “What the hell are you hiding?” In the case of two Republican lawmakers this week, the answer to that question is “child sex trafficking” and “sexual assault.” Surprise?

First up, we have Ralph Shortey, a former Oklahoma GOP state representative most famous for having once sought to ban fetuses as a food ingredient, likely due to cookbooks like “The Joy of Cooking With Fetal Remains” and “Mastering The Art of Fetal Cooking” having been so popular in 2012. Truly, it was the avocado toast of the day.

Shortey plead guilty this week to child sex-trafficking charges, after having attempted to pay a 17-year-old boy for sexual “stuff” last March. If he hadn’t plead guilty, Shortey also would have been facing three child pornography counts as well. Because boy, does he ever love those family values.

Curiously enough, Shortey is known to be a very big fan of Alex Jones, who spends quite a good amount of time insisting that everyone on the left is involved in elicit Pizzagate child sex rings. Perhaps the phone calls were coming from inside the house the whole time.

Next up, we have Wes Goodman. Ohio state legislator Wes Goodman was a real rising star in the GOP, ready to take on important issues like trying to make the gays unmarried again, until he had to resign his post this week. Why? Because he was caught in his office making sweet love to a man. AWKWARD!

Via Newsweek:

This comes as a surprise to many constituents, because Goodman has consistently spoken about “natural marriage” being between a man and a woman. His campaign website, which is now offline, outlined his views on family: “Healthy, vibrant, thriving, values-driven families are the source of Ohio’s proud history and the key to Ohio’s future greatness. The ideals of a loving father and mother, a committed natural marriage, and a caring community are well worth pursuing and protecting.”

Goodman’s twitter bio describes him as: “Christian. American. Conservative. Republican. Husband to @Beth1027.” His tweets are protected and his account is private. His Facebook page has been taken offline.

This incident, however, was not nearly as damning as what it turns out Goodman did two years ago when he sexually assaulted an 18-year-old boy in a hotel at his own fundraising event. An event hosted by none other than Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council.

The Washington Post reports:

Hours later, upstairs in a hotel guest room, an 18-year-old college student who had come to the event with his parents said the candidate unzipped his pants and fondled him in the middle of the night. The frightened teenager fled the room and told his mother and stepfather, who demanded action from the head of the organization hosting the conference.

“If we endorse these types of individuals, then it would seem our whole weekend together was nothing more than a charade,” the stepfather wrote to Tony Perkins, president of the Council for National Policy.

“Trust me . . . this will not be ignored nor swept aside,” replied Perkins, who also heads the Family Research Council, a prominent evangelical activist group. “It will be dealt with swiftly, but with prudence.”

Several emails and documents pertaining to this incident were obtained by the Washington Post, including some that referred to unspecified “similar incidents” of this kind.

Rather than coming forward about Goodman’s “issues,” Perkins decided to withdraw CNP’s support and encouraged him to seek more “counseling” before continuing with his political career.

Given that this is Tony Perkins we are talking about, it is quite likely that the “therapy” mentioned in the letter is gay conversion therapy, which Perkins is known to advocate. Had Goodman seen another kind of therapist, it is unlikely that “therapy going well” would mean that he would remain a closeted anti-gay lawmaker. Unless that therapist was terrible.

It is not possible, of course, to engage in child sex trafficking, child pornography or sexual assault without being a hypocrite of some kind. Especially as a politician. But there is just something especially enraging about people who commit these kinds of assaults and violations while dedicating their lives to making things harder for law-abiding LGBTQ citizens in this country.

And, on that perky note, this is now your OPEN THREAD!

(Also give us some money please!)

[Washington Post | Tulsa World]

ralph shortey, wes goodman, sexual harassment, sexual assault, tony perkins, gay conversion therapy, ex-gay therapy, lgbtq, child sex trafficking, child pornography, law, family research council, open thread, pt OPEN THREAD!, hypocrites, pizzagate

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  • Ricky Gay

    Catch a phobic by the toe
    If he hollers let him know
    It’s alright don’t run away
    Forgive yourself and just be gay!

    • yyyaz

      Who knew that most parts of being an adult are, in reality, so simple — unless you’re afraid an omniscient, needle-dick sky fairy with a thirst for human blood and misogyny is watching with disapproval.

  • bubbuhh

    Shortey didn’t use “I thought they wuz grown-ups cuz I a Shortey”defense?

  • folderol

    He’s not gay, he’s just confused. Morally.

  • Ricky Gay
    • folderol

      Led Zeppelin did not sound like this.

      • Eileen Besse

        THANK GOD!!!

    • quantum mechanic

      the keyofawesome.com years ago…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui9C5KOmnAc

    • Alternative Dog

      To be fair, there’s at least two or three songs that get recycled:

      https://youtu.be/JdxkVQy7QLM

      • Eileen Besse

      • Ωbjectifier

        Punk rock is a joke
        It’s really just baroque

        Ha!

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        He missed Village People’s “Go West,” brought to the zenith of high art by Pet Shop Boys. (Also “Blue Moon” by Big Star, but that’s pretty obscure.)

        • Indeniable Ron

          Egad, how did I miss that?

    • The Wanderer
  • Shibusa

    I wish I lived closer to this place:
    https://twitter.com/superdeluxe/status/931922469501288450

    • Lascauxcaveman

      If it helps, you’re more than welcome to come by my house and split some firewood. I’ve got about two cords needs doin’

      Alder, maple, cedar, fir; take your pick. Or a little of each?

  • SayItWithWookies

    So if you molest boys at your fundraising event, Tony Perkins will cover up for you (is that a crime?) because he doesn’t want it known that one of his organizations getting guidance from Jesus could be so off-fucking-kilter as to be wrong and misleading.

    Just astonishing that an entire movement dedicated to the outward show of Biblical values — which they don’t understand because that’s not a requirement — could be a rat’s nest of predators, hypocrites, power-hungry psychopaths and pathological liars.

    • Impatient

      If that’s what we know about, what might their ACTUAL worst qualities be? Not hoping for an answer, ’cause I don’t think I could stomach it. And I thought I could stomach a lot.

    • Indeniable Ron

      The rot started a very long time ago, ’round about the time when the emphasis changed from ‘be like Jesus’ to ‘use this to consolidate power.’ 313 CE or so.

  • bubbuhh

    After reading Pastor Franklin Raddish comments on how good a recruitment tool sodomy is ( https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/more-women-are-sexual-predators-than-men-south-carolina-pastor-blames-war-on-men-to-defend-roy-moore/ ), Goodman obviously decided to actively recruit young men to the GOPee in his office.

  • Raan
  • memzilla Ω

    Great, now I need to spend the next three hours recalibrating my GOP Hypocrimeter.

  • bubbuhh

    Tony Perkins gonna deal wif teh evangelical dicks jokes, like Roy Moore, wif Prudence n Faith as soon as they start menstruatin.

  • janecita

    I wonder if they live close to a pond, because the frogs might have made them gay. I hear that the gay is contagious.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Maybe the frogs recruited them.

      • janecita

        Maybe! Those frogs are sneaky AF!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Pepe?

        • Indeniable Ron

          Oui!

    • Or…they learned it from them lions!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I still want to make a meme with Alex Jones surrounded by Pepes in pink.

  • A GOLDEN OLDIE!

    Q: How can you tell if your church’s youth leader is gay?

    A: His cock tastes like shit.

  • Impatient

    Since Godless Hillary shoulda’ left Bill, goddamnit, can we assume that @Beth1027 now has a separate street address? Just askin.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Safe assumption, unless she’s one of those utterly helpless people with no self esteem. Or dumb enough to think she’s going to Pray the Gay Away.

      So she’s either feeling really down right now or really relieved.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    OK, who is surprised? Anyone?

    Meanwhile Sean Hannity is scribbling notes: “Plead guilty to child sex-trafficking, walk on the child porn”

  • Fartknocker
    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Oh, this should be GOOD.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Rockin’ the Weinstein look.

  • Parakeetist

    Worst romantic comedy of the year.

    • natoslug

      Yes, but on a scale of Twilight to 100, where does it fall?

      • shivaskeeper

        Does Twilight still exist? If so, this is worse than Twilight.

      • Raan

        Twilight-20. At least the century old vampire wasn’t trying to come on to the high school student.

        • natoslug

          IIRC, in Twilight, the century old vampire was trying to come in the high school student, not on.

          • Raan

            Sometimes you miss.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I opened an egg carton and saw this :
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de6f22f90ab514982e07f001fe88cc47fc05f7d569093dc167bc43fb057a1e34.jpg

    Is it fine to use ? I’m sure it’s just the shell but I want to be sure.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Karl Rove?

      • Phried Ω

        Too lumpy. Hamhead is smooth.

    • From it’s complexion I’d guess it’s a Steve Bannon egg. I hear he lays them in dim, moist corners of the internets that won’t stand bright lights or cleanliness.

    • shivaskeeper

      Open it over a seperate bowl before mixing into anything. You never can tell.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yes. With eggs, you can tell by the smell.

        My backyard hens used to come up with a lumpy one every now and again. They were all fine.

        • shivaskeeper

          I get a lot of fresh eggs. The occasional half developed chick has taught me to crack eggs into a separate bowl and add them to whatever I’m cooking one at a time.

    • CripesAmighty

      Paint it gold and see if you can sell it to Melanoma.

    • OutOfOrbit

      ALIEN!!!

    • Shibusa

      Maybe wait until Fryday.

    • natoslug

      I’ve seen this movie. It does not end well for anyone standing over the egg.

    • janecita

      Don’t eat that thing!!

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Well, I’ve broken it and it looks totally normal. We’ll see tomorrow if I’ve turned into a gremlin.

    • Raan

      You’re gonna want to hit that thing with some C-Toxin.

    • DrBigHead

      Would have loved to have heard the sound that hen made when she laid this.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Only one way to be sure.

      • yyyaz

        Nuke it from orbit?

    • Toledo Window Box

      I can’t even imagine the farts you’d have after eating that thing.

    • Phried Ω

      Is this a publicity still from the new Sigourney Weaver movie.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Can you see life? Organic life?

    • Count Awesome

      Set it in water. If it floats, throw it out. Look at it after it’s cracked and if you think it’s sketchy, toss it.

  • therblig

    ralph shorteyes you say?

  • CripesAmighty
  • shivaskeeper

    Because I’m a pedantic asshole.

    It should be illicit Pizzagate child sex rings, not elicit Pizzagate child sex rings. I expect moar and better journalism form this site and a typo like that is beyond the pale. The dick jokes and snark have been on point, but typos people. Typos. FFS people, am I only one who can see this?

    • CripesAmighty

      Are you Miss Bixiones from typing class? “Semicolon…semicolon…semicolon…”

      • shivaskeeper

        Nah. I have been known to slack on punctuation, but never on the Oxford comma. Oxford comma or GTFO.

        I do have many autocorrect fails, and I tend to skip the occasional word because I think faster than I can type. But TYPOS.

        • CripesAmighty

          You, sir or madam, are challenging a master of the Unmarked Remington! En garde!

        • Shanzgood

          Someone missed the Oxford comma with “Eats, shoots and leaves” earlier.

          • shivaskeeper

            I don’t think it was me, but the Oxford comma would not be needed if shoots and leaves were supposed to be together but separate from eats.

            If the context is a critter eating plant shoots and leaves as it’s diet, no comma should be there at all and even the original is wrong.

          • Shanzgood

            GODDAMMIT

            (and its)

          • shivaskeeper

            I did say I am slack on punctuation sometimes. Apostrophes are punctuation.

          • Shanzgood

            I know. I’m just messin with ya.

          • shivaskeeper

            I know that too.

    • bbayliss

      Concur…no excuse. Apology demanded.
      (This how it begins.)

  • Cock Blockula

    I always considered fetus parts to be part of a balanced gluten-free diet.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Is swallowing cum semi-fetal?

      • yyyaz

        Abortion by proxy.

        • Raan

          Life begins at masturbation.

          • Impatient

            The Simple Son thanks you, seriously, for the refresher course in Pythonese.

          • You’re welcome.

            https://youtu.be/lefP0_ZM-Lw

          • Impatient

            OT, as if anything here is OT: That scene looks like it starts in a canal, and possibly at a lock. So …..

            A friend and I took a rented narrow boat through some canals in central England last summer. Managed not to break the WHOLE canal system, as we only covered a handful of miles. But very fun, different, and relaxing. I’d recommend it, if one has some energy to spend.

          • Arolpin

            A bunch of friends (originally from a Usenet group) did that as a 5-day drunk-fest about 20 years ago. Between the constant rain, the broken down canal boats, and the getting robbed several times they weren’t as enthused. They were much more of a Vegas/Amsterdam/Mardi Gras crowd.

          • Impatient

            The boats, canals and business practices may have improved since then. Puttering around the Droitwich Ring, with a couple nights lolling around in the town of Droitwich Spa, was nice. But yeah, not for the Vegas crowd. And it does, indeed, rain in England sometimes. We got our heavy, cold rain motoring up the Severn River … that we were already a bit scared of. A kindly off-season innkeeper let us tie up for the night, as we had no idea where we’d end up that day. Memories of mostly good and interesting days.

            BTW, interesting fact, if memory serves: A brother of Henry VIII, who would have been in line for the throne, died young. His tomb is in the beautiful and impressive cathedral in Worcester. Imagine if he’d survived, and Henry VIII had never felt the need to split from the Catholic Church! Talk about alternate history! Later, when I mentioned the idea, to the nice cathedral tour guide, that this cathedral must have been Catholic earlier in its construction over hundreds of years … I got silence. Okay, don’t raise THAT again!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Oh, man. Punting on the Thames.

            Did you read Three Men in a Boat before your trip? You should have. Freaking hilarious.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Punting on the Thames, eh? Doesn’t the ball get kinda wet?

    • Impatient

      I’m kinda pissed off at the timing of this open thread. I just finished my week’s shopping, and NOW you tell us they’re gluten free? I am NOT going back in that traffic. Nosir!

      • dlemex

        Call your local AbortionPlex as I am pretty sure they deliver for a fee.

        • Shanzgood

          Uber Eats?

          • dlemex

            OK… that made me literally laugh out loud!

          • Shanzgood

            *curtsies*

        • Impatient

          As long as they only charge handling costs, I guess that’s okay.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Maybe they were trying to crack down on those post-birth placenta parties. (Try the honey-cured.)

      • Shanzgood

        I’m a mildly “crunchy granola” person but placenta parties…GROSS!

      • yyyaz

        I like the honey-cured, but the baby-batter dipped placenta is to die for.

        • Shanzgood

          Popcorn shrimp.

  • wait! what?
    • Can I get that on a pair of leggings?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Please tell me Justin has these socks too.

    • CripesAmighty

      Excrement!

    • calliecallie

      The perfect War on Christmas gift!

    • Indeniable Ron

      It is now time for me to revive the family tradition of giving me Christmas socks. Start with these.

  • natoslug

    I’m trying to decide if NatGeo is trying to encourage us to shit outdoors, or if this is to make us appreciate toilet pythons more . . .

    https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/news/150811-rats-toilet-swimming-vin

    • Shanzgood

      Pythons are outside as well.

      • natoslug

        Outside, they’re hopefully not poised underneath you, snacking on the toilet rats.

        • SisterArtemis

          On the positive side, SOMEbody needs to snack on the toilet rats

          • natoslug

            That’s the exact wording on the side of CMOT DIbbler’s Sausage inna Bun cart. No wonder he’s so popular with the dwarfs.

          • OutOfOrbit

            and your dangling bits

          • natoslug

            I’m sensing a great sales opportunity here, creating rat & python toilet alarms. Just have to figure out how to avoid false positives created by sinkers.

          • SisterArtemis

            my bits don’t dangle! (well, the down-there ones anyway; at 58 years old, upper body parts are starting to…. sag a bit)

          • george lastrapes

            Some Asian cuisines feature toilet rats.

        • Shanzgood

          There’s rats outside as well.

          • natoslug

            It’s more a proximity issue than an inside/outside issue. At least outside, the rats and pythons will hopefully be dispersed over a greater area, and my squatting body will not be the one thing between them and freedom.

          • Shanzgood

            Also poison ivy.

          • natoslug

            I’m more of a Marvel Universe guy. Except when it comes to Wonder Woman.

          • Shanzgood

            Mmmhmmm….*sigh*

    • shivaskeeper

      In the almost 30 years I kept and bred pythons, I never got a toilet python. Or a toilet rat for that matter. I feel deprived.

      • CripesAmighty

        I thought I had a toilet Python the other day, but it was just store brand chili.

      • george lastrapes

        What was that Nazi’s name? Josef Gerbils?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I had a toilet rat once. I nearly shit myself.

        Then I plonked down the lid and called out for my roommate Stan to “Hey, come check this out.” Didn’t tell him what ‘this’ was, and giggled as Stan lifted the lid and nearly shit himself.

    • OutOfOrbit

      You guys…! ! !

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Every day should be Python Appreciation Day!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

      • Toledo Window Box

        I’m Brian, and so is my wife!

    • Master Contrail Program

      24 inches seems small for pythons, but I wouldn’t want these anywhere near my commode regardless. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38b480db08a489e077941572f7b3ea70d01c40ab1780735f8230aa1de816d0f7.jpg

  • vermonter9

    Just wait until Lindsey Grahm gets caught giving it to Jeff Sessions but good. That will surprise exactly nobody.

    • Raan

      You go stand in the corner and think about what you just wrote.

    • The Wanderer

      Does he have lube?

      • dlemex

        Hopefully he uses Vaseline after a beach trip.

        • The Wanderer

          Gotta soothe those grundle bunions.

          • Shanzgood

            Good lord.

  • Notreelyhelping

    “Okay, so we draw straws to see who, come January, has to replace his desk blotter calendar.”

  • Hehehe. And no, Jeffy, the GOP isn’t nutritious enough to be toast:

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/931934038893498368

    • Alternative Dog

      I’ve got news for you Flake, the Republicans have been the party of Trump and Moore since 2009 and have been heading that direction since Newt was speaker.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You spelled 1980 wrong.

        • Alternative Dog

          Yeah, it’s hard to pinpoint the exact point at which they completely jumped the shark. I’d say Reagan’s embrace of the fake Christians who comprised the “Moral Majority” was a major leap toward what they have become. But the unabashed racism and blatant disregard for simply provable facts really took root when Obama took office.

          • Lancelot Link

            The point when Roger Stone coined the term “Republican family values” at the Hellfire Club in Manhattan

      • yyyaz

        Which was right around the time The Flake™ would have been on his mission for Mormon Jeebus, so we can’t expect him to remember such ancient history.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Too late!

    • The Wanderer

      Congrats, asshole.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The article calls Flake a “moderate Republican”. On which planet, I wonder…with that 91% Trump voting record.

        • The Wanderer

          “Moderate Republicans” are the equivalent to the Goldwater Extremists of the 60s. There are no more “Liberal Republicans;” they were all hunted down and killed in the Reaganite Purges of 1976 and 1980.

          • Phried Ω

            And one could argue that Nixon manged to run both to the left and right of Humphrey.

          • The Wanderer

            Considering that Humphrey tried to stay straight middle of the road, he made that easy for Nixon, who still had to claw for every vote.

    • Red Richmond

      YOU BUILT THIS, ASSHOLE.

    • HandsOfFate

      If?

    • Indeniable Ron

      See those navigation lights vanishing in the distance, Jeffty? Yup, that ship has sailed.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Curiously enough, Shortey is known to be a
    very big fan of Alex Jones, who spends quite a good amount of time
    insisting that everyone on the left is involved in elicit Pizzagate
    child sex rings.

    Illicit.

    We are all involved in illicit Pizzagate child sex rings.

    Oh, God- I’ve said too much.

    • shivaskeeper

      Beat you to it. To slow. I got to be pedantic first.

      • Impatient

        Are you saying you beat Blanche to slow? Please explain.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          The people called Romans, they go, the house?

          • Impatient

            Damn. I can’t even think about what I’d believe I was writing about, so I won’t respond in this non-comment. Just, Damn.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            “If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off.”

      • Shanzgood

        You are making this really easy

        • shivaskeeper

          Autocorrect fail. Goddamn thing insists one the wrong too/to and its/it’s every time. No red squiggly line to tell me there is a typo and I post gibberish.

          • Shanzgood

            I figured that’s what happened but I just couldn’t resist! You know I love you!

          • shivaskeeper

            I do. It’s all good. I would be some kind of asshole if I was poking fun, but couldn’t take it in return.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        You’re always the first pedant.

        • shivaskeeper

          Not always.

          • Phried Ω

            Don’t get your pedanties in a bunch.

    • Mavenmaven

      The last two lines out of context will be rapidly circulated by the Alex Jones people as an admission by Wonkette of the truth of Pizzagate.

  • Toledo Window Box

    It’s always the ones screaming the loudest that are the perps, which is why I find it odd that Mitch McConnell, who manages to get himself on the wrong side of EVERY SINGLE THING HE TOUCHES, would be so forceful and adamant in his denouncement of Bob Packwood and now Roy Moore.

    Methinks Mitch is hiding something.

    • His head and neck in his shell?

    • Phried Ω

      Well, Packwood was a very long time ago. You can’t count having spine way back then against him now.

      • The Wanderer

        I recall Packwood’s roving paws. Comedy Central advertised a fake sitcom called Packin’ Wood in honor of that scandal.

      • Toledo Window Box

        I’m not. I’m saying attacking Packwood was showing spine. I’m saying he has a pattern of outrage against sexual predators, and he has zero outrage about everything else, which informs me he is likely a sexual predator.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          With a normal person, which automatically excludes Mitch by definition, it could also mean that the person with a pattern of outrage against sexual predators was themselves a victim of sexual predators in the past. I can’t fit Mitch into that scenario, but nothing is impossible.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Good point.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Perhaps these funny fundies simply need to get back to nature?

    https://youtu.be/zVJxupNR5GM

  • Indiepalin

    A boy’s best friend is his mother.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Constituent spin will be “I find their integrity refreshing. Of course they have to try it to know first hand how disgusting it is so you can be sure their denouncement is authentic. They are taking one for the team, people! They tried it so you don’t have to!”

    • Phried Ω

      “I was doing research, I swear.”

      • The Wanderer

        And he was really ‘deep’ in his research, too?

        • Indeniable Ron

          Well, not THAT deep.

  • CripesAmighty

    Ooooh! Ooh! “Donovan’s Brain” with Nancy Reagan on TCM. I think there’s some stale popcorn in the car…

    • therblig

      you sure it’s not “Donovan’s Head”?

  • thewalkindude

    Definitely not the cakes we like-

    A souvenir piece of wedding cake from President Trump and first lady Melania Trump’s wedding is up for auction.

    Julien’s Auctions in Los Angeles is expecting the piece to sell for between $1,000 and $2,000, according to the auction house’s website.

    The item up for auction is a slice of chocolate truffle cake that was a take-home souvenir from the wedding in Palm Beach, Fla., in 2005.

    • Phried Ω

      Made of Twinkies, I hope.

      • Shanzgood

        I read it was mostly cardboard.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Made of green cards, just like their marriage.

          • efoveks

            Ooh! Nice burn :D

        • Phried Ω

          I think cardboard has a shorter shelf life.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Cheap imported Chinese recycled cardboard.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Heard they got it from Entenmann’s. They have their own display at the end of the aisle.

      https://flavorwire.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/tumblr_ms0867inmh1s8wi38o1_400.gif

      • The Wanderer

        I confess, here and now, a deep love for Entenmann’s chocolate-frosted doughnuts and coffee cakes. And I do not care who disapproves.

        • Shanzgood

          I haven’t seen them for sale since I left Seattle. We used to go to their outlet to stock up on cheapies.

          • Marion in Savannah

            We can get the chocolate covered doughnuts at our local Publix. I don’t know if they carry the coffee cakes, though.

          • The Wanderer

            I’ve seen them at mine, although the Publix bakery’s are fresher.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Publix does some seriously good baking — we get baguettes and rye bread regularly.

          • The Wanderer

            Yes, they do.

        • Ms.Moon

          I miss their milk chocolate covered doughnuts, their Louisiana Crunch cake is good too.

    • The Wanderer

      12-year-old cake. Think about that for a moment.

      • Bad Tom

        Best left uneaten. Not even the microbes would have it.

    • therblig

      it’s a family recipe of greed, despair, and regret. mmmmm.

    • Indeniable Ron

      If I had more money than sense* I’d bid on it just so that I could do something obscene to it and pout it on YouTube.
      * TBH I already do. $6.35 in my wallet!

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    This thread. 😍 🇨🇦 🍁 ❤️️ 🐨 🇦🇺 👰 👰 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 🤵🤵 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 🌈

    https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:2RapcbcWfFUJ:https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/930617090901401601+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

    (Ignore the trolls. This is the best part.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4e83b9e9f97e3b620a79443ab24c35f85e0a2ff51749f2ce8ff1712984631d9b.png

    • The Wanderer

      Huzzah!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I think I speak for lots of Aussies (and residents south of the 49th parallel) when I say Justin is welcome to come down under any time he likes.

        • Shanzgood

          Wait! *stops fanning self* You are an Aussie?

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            No. Merkinese, sadly.

            That’s why I added the “49th parallel” part in parentheses.

          • Sheepshagger

            I heard the Merkinese economy had cratered since the manscaping and Brazilian invasions. You guys eking out a living doing artisanal jobs for hipsters now?

          • Shanzgood

            I’m working on one that I’m going to call The Lemmy.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Nah, we’re basically just running on fumes as a 24/7 live-streaming reality show about gun-toting, conspiratorial religious cultists who read satanic symbolism in everything from pizza to Star Wars-themed socks. At least the entertainment sector is sorta functioning. Bad effect on tourism, though.

  • Sheepshagger

    That’s a really lovely photo of councilman fiddle fingers with his little gun collection there. I see obsessively polishing small rods is his thing.

  • OrG

    So, I guess if I was a republican I would be warning everyone of the evils of the demon-weed marijuana.
    But I’m not. So smoke up!

    • Captain Kraut

      On it.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Ahhh. Now it makes sense. Pizzagate is such a big deal because these guys are just angry that they never got an invite.

  • Mavenmaven

    As a good Freudian, I have long understood that all of the Alex Jones’ theories and accusations are in truth a reflection of his and his audience’s deepest longings and desires.

    • bbayliss

      obviously

      • Phried Ω

        Seeing Alex Jones’s name and the word desires in the same sentence makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Kubrick made it clear that war is a dick-measuring contest also, too.

      • Shanzgood

        As if we didn’t know that already.

      • Alternative Dog

        Carlin from his Vietnam era AM and FM: “Pull out? Doesn’t sound manly to me Jim.”

  • Sheepshagger

    https://twitter.com/extrachelle/status/931823188660584449

    Suck it apostates and heretics. Shits real yo!

    • Shanzgood

      That’s why I don’t buy bottled water any more.

    • therblig

      nice trick. get back to us when it turns into wine.

      • Sheepshagger

        Man if that doesn’t prove to you that Jesus is God I just do t know what to say to your dammed ass. It’s so compelling !

    • efoveks

      A heretic is someone who disagrees with a church’s accepted doctrine. It does not mean atheist or any other kind of nonbeliever in Christianity. People are so ignorant as to the terms they use.

      • Sheepshagger

        These were instagram heretics. Very dangerous.

        • efoveks

          oh. That IS very dangerous…

    • Daniel

      That person doesn’t know what the word “heretic” means.

      • Red Bird

        It’s the way you call your dog named tic.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      ummmmm….yeah.

    • SayItWithWookies

      You’d think an omnipotent god would be able to scare up better production values.

      • Indeniable Ron

        He needs to spring for a newer version of Final Cut.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Mildly interesting, but wasn’t he supposed to be proving something?

  • Brian Fowler

    According to Splinter, a subset of Kinja, a defender of Roy Moore had a meltdown in front of reporters.
    https://splinternews.com/christian-fundamentalist-pastor-has-a-major-meltdown-de-1820572226
    Be warned, you will see a face that looks like a steamed eggplant wearing spectacles.

    • The Wanderer

      BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
      I love his use of the classic leading question, over and over. What a putz.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    I just sigh when I see politicians posing with a firearm. It’s cringey enough when the new privates do it. For a grown man, it’s just compensation/ projection

  • CindyinEncinitas

    It’s like these guys are obsessed with something and it clouds their judgement or something?
    https://youtu.be/msro9PGsLmc

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Shouty preacher man in the Oily Palm-etto State says feminists are to blame for why Roy Moore is a predatory mall rat. Incel? No incel. You’re the incel!

    “More women are sexual predators than men!” South Carolina pastor blames “war on men” to defend Roy Moore

    Sorry bub, but for every Mary-Kay Letourneau there’s hundreds if not thousands more Moores, Weinsteins, Spaceys, Trumps, etc. etc. etc. and a whole culture called patriarchy that keeps the cycle going. A bigly part of that patriarchy thing? Religion…

    • The Wanderer

      Of course, Shouty Preacher Man is simply adhering to basic Christian dogma from such assholes as Jerome, Tertullian, etc., who blame all the ills on earth on naughty women exciting weak-willed menfolk.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        If I ever am able to attend one of those women’s marches, I’m going to carry a sign that reads “Lilith and Eve libelz.”

    • Sheepshagger

      Sounds like someone’s been in the madrassa a bit too long.

    • Boojum

      Why am I not being chased down the street RIGHT NOW???!!!

      • Indeniable Ron

        Try running slower next time.

        • Boojum

          I can barely walk!

  • Viktor

    The media as usual has blown this out proportion. The man was on his knees, praying, and Wes Goodman had just eaten a large meal and unzipped his pants for room. Another gathering of Christian guys in a room praying taken out of context by the lame stream media.

    • The Wanderer

      I thought that the guy was sharing his sausage with Goodman. Or did things just take a turn for the wurst?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      that nice young man was pre-med and Goodman had a mole he was worried about.

  • Viktor

    I give it one week before Wes Goodman’s wife issues a statement forgiving her husband because their pastor and God have forgiven him.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      This will happen one day after her divorce lawyer tells her how much money she would lose if she divorces his ass.

  • dlemex

    Actually it all now makes sense… I had trouble believing that a senator’s private office would be violated under normal circumstances. But if a parent was demanding to see their son!?!

  • CindyinEncinitas

    That picture on the right… Nothing wrong here, folks! Nope. Tooootally heteronormative, stereotypical, expected, in the mainstream with room to spare on both sides. Move along, now…

    • Sheepshagger

      “Please don’t go down the truck stop darling- look at all the vaginas on my shirt- don’t they say something to you?”

      • CindyinEncinitas

        And you thought it looked like pie crust…

        • therblig

          it’s a kind of pie…

          • CindyinEncinitas

            True. *teeters, catches herself* True.

          • The Wanderer

            ‘Tis very tasty pie, as well.

    • Grizzly

      My first thought when I saw the picture was, “My what a cute beard.”

  • Impatient

    RE the general non-comment thread:

    I was always confused by the whole Dungeons and Dragons thing, or whatever. (I is oldz.) I mean, you make up your own world, and then play with it? Huh?

    But in this non-comment thread, I have to say that I’m beginning to see the entertainment value.

    (Yeah, I know, I said, “play with it.”)

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Hence the Satanic Panic. The preacher folk couldn’t stand that another made-up fantasy world was more fun and popular than the one in their poorly-written fanfic anthology.

  • therblig

    interesting that the walmart commercial using “my generation” skips the line “hope i die before i get old”. do they think their customers don’t know the song?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Have you seen the one using “Joy to the World” by 3 Dog Night flogging Big Lots? [snarl]

      • Sheepshagger

        One of our tv networks used “Perfect Day” by Lou Reed as a feel good anthem. I always found that funny- the most bitingly sarcastic song the guy ever wrote. And he was 72% bite.

        • amrak63

          It was? All this time I’ve been taking it at face value.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_qy2ziekOc

          • Sheepshagger

            It’s contested but I cannot help but hear classic Lou Reed venom in the lyrics. Real what you sow.

        • Notreelyhelping

          You just keep me hangin’ on….

          Carnival (if I remember right) using Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life” was a pinnacle of cultural dissonance. All those people so happy!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh god – after trainspotting that fucking sign was everywhere. (I wasn’t hip to iggy’s background at that time.)

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Forget it Jake, it’s Wal-abama.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      When I worked at mcd’s back in high school – I knew brown eyed girl by van morrison backwards and forewards.

      It came on at work and I started singing along…fucked it up when they got to “making love in the green grass…” cause apparently that was too raunchy and they edited it.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    OT: am in DC for a family reunion and took my sons to see the Lincoln Memorial. Couldn’t help but wonder what a Trump Memorial would look like. Maybe a radioactive dumpster fire by the Russian Embassy that generates and sends you insulting Tweets as you pass near it—or as near as you dare.
    Why would anyone visit it? Exactly.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      They should put it in Atlantic City and then foreclose on it.

    • Giant heap of file of file folders of blank paper

    • Marion in Savannah

      All you’d really need for the Trump Memorial is an eternal dumpster fire.

    • The Wanderer

      An immense pile of gold-plated shit.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      are you going to national art museum…cause I really wanted to go to national art museum and didn’t get to.

      Take pictures if you go to the national art museum.

      : D

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        We have to come back because we didn’t have much time, but did see the Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Memorial, WWII Memorial, Washington Monument and MLK Memorial. Hopefully the next century will be slow because they are running out of real estate.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          given all that, it’s a little forgiveable

          (totally kidding…I didn’t get to really see dick squat, walk passed white house and washington monument, did the mall – SAW the building with the museum…

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I could see trump supporters erecting a monument on private land, something a la Lenin, that exalts trump in all his gaudy glory. Something ugly like this:
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e4d1c86d81a3180b49f9697e0b8980ff7d7bd1f8e2e5dffd9d8a58bbd077126.jpg

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    I wonder if any of them has a wide stance.

    • The Wanderer

      AOT,K

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    The pictures make it look like the guy on the left wants to kill the people on the right.
    (In reality, the people on the right want to kill the people on the left, for the most part).

    • dlemex

      I was thinking that the one one the left was more “come sit on your uncle’s lap” look.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “This comes as a surprise to many constituents, because Goodman has consistently spoken about “natural marriage”

    To be fair, what he and the other dude were doing ain’t fucking marriage.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      It was fucking, but it wasn’t mawwiage.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Nor was it twoo wuv.

  • laineypc

    Fundamentalist religion fucks people up so badly. Why can’t the leaders of these movements see how they create an impossible double bind, which hurts so many lives, leads to suicide and ruined marriages and careers…

    • Marion in Savannah

      But oh, how the money rolls in.

      • Alternative Dog

        Exactly! Some people will do anything for money and/or power.

        • Daniel

          Meatloaf, for instance. Though he won’t do that.

      • amrak63

        Their actual god is Mammon, and always has been.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Mammon, and Moloch.

    • Sheepshagger

      “Now you’re getting it!”

      Fundamentalists.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      They can see it. They’re control freaks and sadists. That’s the point.

      • Impatient

        Not sure why I remember so clearly, but our Methodist youth group spent many hours, one weekend, being force fed the guest Fundies’ important messages about the book of Revelations. This was our street-level initiation to the late-60s Methodist takeover by the evangelical nut-jobs, giving us today’s bat-shit-crazy United Methodist Church.

        Have I clearly said, fuck “so-called” Christianity? And fuck any actual Christianity too, until it can prove its innocence.

        (Full disclosure: Still want to see Jim-Boy Comey burn in hell, or on earth. I’m not picky. After the asshole fucked the whole country/planet, I read some of his bio. He and his lovely wife call themselves, cutely, “evangelical catholics,” which translates to fucking United Methodists. Just can’t shake the idea that they sit around at the family dinner table saying, “Yeah, more bad things piling on today, but hey, we got Gorsuch*!)

    • shivaskeeper

      They don’t care. None of what you asking brings in the money or comfortable lifestyle they want.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      substance abuse and addiction…

    • Edith Prickly

      As long as they stay on top of the food chain, they don’t care.

    • Indeniable Ron

      So? Are we supposed to be our brothers’ keepers? What a stupid notion.
      – the leaders in question

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    “Many good people on many sides,” says the Grand Lizard of the Kluless Klutz Klan.

    KKK member posts pictures of woman’s children on Facebook and threatens them after she voices support for Martin Luther King statue

    BTW, Zuck, how’s that “moderation” thing going at the Menlo Park troll farm, eh?

    • Probably better than the “send us yr noodz” program

    • Impatient

      Pardon the literal response, but Jesus Fucking Christ! Has Trump trained his followers that well in the “SO? WE can go LOWER” game?

      Or do I have it backward? Trump studied Hitler, the KKK, etc.

      (Good thing thing I learned all the god/jesus language as a kid, so I can buy my way into fucking hell with its use now.)

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Actually, Jesus traveled to China for a brief stint where he was known as a wise philosopher named Fu-Qing. So there’s nothing really blasphemous about saying Jesus Fu-Qing Christ.

        “Mark Zuckerberg,” however, is a Yiddish expression meaning “Nazi kapo putz.”

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yeah, sometimes I wonder–if a lot of people were using Facebook and other social media to threaten the lives of tech douchebros, would we see this much foot-dragging?

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘Family values’ = ‘We’ll target your family because we know you value them.’

  • Red Bird

    This again? Would it be too much for these people to just be honest?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Yes. Yes, it would.

    • The Wanderer

      No money in being honest, and no votes either.

    • Daniel

      They don’t see this as dishonesty. They see this as being lead astray by Satan. It’s self-deceit, but they really don’t see that.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Had Goodman seen another kind of therapist, it is unlikely that “therapy going well” would mean that he would remain a closeted anti-gay lawmaker.

    What? Are you saying it’s unhealthy to be a closeted anti-gay lawmaker? This is blatant discrimination against closeted anti-gay lawmakers.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    can’t wait to hear how this argument goes:

    ‘More women are sexual predators than men’: South Carolina pastor blames ‘war on men’ to defend Roy Moore”

    “South Carolina preacher is continuing to support Republican senate nominee Roy Moore in Alabama, an apparent reversal of his previously claimed focus on wanting to protect children from sexual predators.”

    I’m sorry, not all christians are hypocrites, but dear non-existant lord are a bunch of fucking hypocrites Christians.

    ““Women are chasing young boys up and down the road, but we don’t hear about that because it’s not PC,” Rev. Raddish alleged.”

    ????
    What women? WHAT ROAD?

    This guy said of gay people in 2004:
    ““These people aren’t the good neighbor next door, they’re out to target young children. They must recruit their heritage,” Rev. Raddish charged. “As many of them will die from AIDS, the only way they can keep their numbers is to recruit. Pedophiles and men dressing like ladies, their objective is recruitment of children.””

    Sounds a lot like FUCKING ROY MORE ASSHOLE.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      He’ll claim all this until we find out that it was Rev. Raddish in the library with the glass buttplug.

      • Bitter Scribe

        They make those things out of glass? If they shatter, wouldn’t that be a little painful?

        • The Wanderer

          Yes, they do. High-strength borosilicate glass, in fact; the ads say you can put them in cold or warm water prior to for increased sensation.

          • Grizzly

            Dishwasher safe too. Or so I’m told.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Uh, if I eat at your house, make it paper plates, OK?

          • therblig

            just don’t use windex as a lube. a friend tells me.

          • Indeniable Ron

            That sensation being ‘ouch.’

        • Bad Tom

          They be tempered glass.

          How do I know?
          I just do, ‘k?

          • The Wanderer

            ‘Nuff said.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Women are chasing young boys up and down the road

      Why couldn’t I have lived on that road?

      • calliecallie

        I used to spend time chasing a young boy up and down the road. He was my son. Then he got bigger and I had to chase him up and down the driveway playing basketball.

    • Alternative Dog

      What women? WHAT ROAD?

      Asking for a friend.

    • jesterpunk
    • shivaskeeper

      The cynical answer is people like this “pastor” want to protect kids from all the other predators do there are more kids to go around for his predators.

    • The last time a woman chased me up and down a road, I was 6 and it was my mother wanting me to get my ass home for dinner.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      RIP. He’ll be jamming with ol’ Bon in the rock god afterlife.

      All their friends are gonna be there too.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l482T0yNkeo

    • Notreelyhelping

      Not a surprise, though. He’s suffered with dementia for a number of years.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I’m honestly curious about this – is dementia a fatal disease. I mean, I know it messes wiht memory and cognition, but does it have other medical effects?

        • The progression of dementia results in decreased ability to care for oneself and inability to communicate, making new diagnoses difficult, so yes, as a root cause to worsening other conditions

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            that makes sense.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Dementia is a symptom that can be related to other symptoms depending on the root cause.
          https://www.alz.org/what-is-dementia.asp

        • Werewolf

          Alzheimer’s Disease is a terminal condition. Eventually you lose the impulse to eat, and other brain functions shut down as well.

        • Notreelyhelping

          My understanding is that the body can begin to suffer as the disease affects involuntary functions (in addition to consciousness). It seems a number of patients pass from respiratory dysfunction, particularly pneumonia.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    No, seriously. The child molester’s name is Shortey?

    Have a murmuration.

    https://twitter.com/NatGeo/status/931978330903072768

    • javadavis

      Wow – so that’s a murmuration.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Nature can be fucking awesome. And also too fractal.

        • javadavis

          When bird activity made me wish I understood math better.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      A couple months ago was the first time I actually saw a starling up close and in person.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        We have a (it would take too long to explain and it wouldn’t be worth it) family joke about how all birds are some variety of grackle. So, pidge grackle, mourning grackle, canadian snow grackle, peregrine grackle*, stargrackles… The beleaguered husband assures me we have stargrackles nearby.

        *who exist in a state of raptor.

        • grindstone

          We had LBFBs….little brown flappy birds.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            The insects that kill hemlocks are wolfy adeltoids.

            Again, long story.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Which one is Clarice?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oeuf.

      • therblig

        years ago, we found a starling that had fallen out of the nest. since we couldn’t find the nest and didn’t have a nearby tree to put it back, we brought it inside and put it in a birdcage. for 10 days, i heated up dry dog food with water and fed it with a straw. every time the microwave beeped, it would start screeching to be fed. in that time, it went from a naked little birdling to an actual bird. then, we took it to the Raptor Trust where it joined others in the starling cage and maybe got released. yes, we called it Clarice.

  • Michael R
    • The Wanderer

      Give him two bags of dicks. Weasel dicks, vinegar and salt flavored.

  • BloviateMe

    Public humiliation is sometimes glorious to witness.

    http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/2359627/84304752.gif

  • Sheepshagger
  • Angela Ruzzo

    I keep wondering how this Roy Moore scenario would have played out if it had been teenage BOYS he had been preying on back in the 70’s.

    • BloviateMe

      He’d be even more cocky about the whole thing?

      • Resistor Radio

        Seems pretty cocksure as it is

    • jesterpunk

      If it was boys republicans would have dumped him by now.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Evangelicals too, cause I don’t think you can’t find any Bible quotes that would allegedly support that, other than Jesus and the Apostle John being really good friends.

        • jesterpunk

          I don’t know, Jesus did spend a lot of time alone with 12 men.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I didn’t know he was in a movie with Henry Fonda.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          There’s the story of Jesus healing the centurion’s servant, but that usually gets used as an example of Jesus saving Romans from their decadence. The question of how young the “servant” actually was is an uneasy one to be sure.

        • There was David’s “special friend” Jonathon, whom he loved lore than a brother and who proved his devotion by being naked around him. Like heterosexuals do.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I think many of his supporters would still defend him. Their ability to rationalize anything is increasingly evident.

    • Indeniable Ron

      My guess? Lots of jeebus-forgiving, and quietly moving him to some quiet jurisdiction where it could be forgotten about. And then another Senate run.
      OTOH, I still think it’s quite likely there ARE some teenage boys in his past. They just haven’t come forward yet.

  • Sheepshagger

    Hey if you get an email from an African man wanting to park some money in your account, consider it carefully – could be true today. https://twitter.com/brezhmalaba/status/931949511093751808

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Eleventy billion Zimbabwe dollars. Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to let Bob Mugabe put in his two cents…

      • Sheepshagger

        Bob doesn’t fuck around with worthless currency like his own.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      when people are stomping street signs with your name on them….it’s time to fucking flee

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      There’ll be mubobobo in the streets of Harare tonight!

  • Edith Prickly
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Mooch was an answer on Jeopardy last night.

      • Alex Trebeck was awarded the Order of Canada yesterday, along with the surviving members of The Tragically Hip

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          :)

          Does Justin give the medal?

          • No, the Awesome fmr Astronaut Governor General does

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            ♪ Julie Payette the Science Cadet! ♪ :D

            I think your local milk boy took it personally when she called out people who still believe the world is flat and 5,000 years old.

  • Cat Cafe

    Isn’t it time that “evangelical christianists” are outed as a white male supremacy cult that preys on its young girls and boys?

    • shivaskeeper

      At best its an open secret now. There is nothing to really out. They fucking proclaim what they are.

      The real truck is going to be clawing back the moral high ground they unreservedly occupy.

      • Cat Cafe

        Yes, so well put. Exactly.

      • Edith Prickly

        Yeah, the cries of “Don’t pay any attention to the man behind the curtain!” stopped working a while ago.

        • shivaskeeper

          Except those cries still work. Otherwise we wouldn’t see any serious interviews with preachers and pastors weighing in on any social or legal issues. We wouldn’t have to be subjected to prime time moralizing about “Judeo-Christian” values and how XYZ is violating them. We would have a press corps that actually asked what exactly those unique values are.

          They wouldn’t be fucking with public school curriculums to indoctrinate everyone who is not in their Bible schools. We would not be debating the science of climate change and sea level rise vice God promised to not drown the world again the next time He destroys it.

          If it didn’t still work they would not be trying and in so many small ways succeeding in legislating women’s bodies, who can love who and where and the myriad of other unearned perks they maintain in society.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I hope so. They’ve managed to get away with it until now, and their base has grown quite adept at cognitive disconnect.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Freedom is slavery and ignorance is strength…

      • Khavrinen

        And getting completely fucked over is Winning.

        [ So much winning you’ll get sick of winning. ]

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Me not sure

    Wife and I are going to a meet and greet with Georgia Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams at the local monthly Democratic Party meeting. I’ll drop off my impressions later tonight. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/daead7d7ef6657e9289e7ef177c334a5661dd90a8d13be144431c9d056215f8a.jpg

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I didn’t read what you wrote and only caught a brief glimpse of the pic while multi-tasking, and for a split-second I thought it was Donna Brazile, and I triggered.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
  • Juan de Fuca

    Just came back in the house after doing a few hours of yardwork to find out that Malcom Young had passed. Fuck.

    RIP, Malcom.

    https://youtu.be/etAIpkdhU9Q

    • eyelashviper

      I am still grieving and non-believing about Tom Petty.

    • That leaves Angus as the only original member of the band, doesn’t it?

      • Juan de Fuca

        Yup. Phil Rudd has been with them nearly from the start. I paid my respects to Bon Scott’s grave while living in Western Oz years ago. Always loved that band.

  • MizzMazz

    Seen this? It’s a toy elf that is sold in a UK store called Asda, and they can’t keep them in stock. Women are buying them like mad:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWXJCpYBI50

  • Alternative Dog

    A worthwhile reminder from last night:

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/931780274987421697

    • eyelashviper

      I’ll have a gigantic smile when he is joined by the Trumplethinskin Klan and all their cohorts.

      • Frances

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !fy305d:
        ➽➽
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    • MasRioBravoHombre

      I like to imagine Nazi-smiting when I can’t sleep.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Me too. #Wiesenthaling needs to become a thing.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Bernie Madoff too.

      • OutOfOrbit

        bernie’s croaked

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          He’s still alive.

          • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

            Tom Petty’s dead and Bernie Madoff’s alive. I wonder if there’s a way to switch the two.

        • SayItWithWookies

          Still clinging to the vine as far as his Wikipedia page is concerned. His son killed himself though.

    • Alex Grey

      Thanks for the schadenfreude.

    • Alex Grey

      There is nothing wrong with schadenfreude…

  • Juan de Fuca

    Dance like you don’t give a damn if everybody’s watching.

    https://twitter.com/MJJLegion/status/931367999126360064

    • BloviateMe

      Damn. Love that guy. I hope he uses his awesome power to embarrass his kids.

      • Juan de Fuca

        He wins the Internet for today in our house.

    • Sheepshagger

      My daughter took a surreptitious video of me spazzing out to “role model” by Eminem. She later confessed it was so embarrassing that she couldn’t bear to post it. Something about your middle aged father bellowing about tying a rope to his penis and jumping out of a tree didn’t appeal.

    • eyelashviper

      Yay for the olds and the balds, also too, still rockin’ it!

    • Kakkeltje

      Maybe I am getting old, but I think filming a random person and then posting it all over the internet without his knowledge (I assume) is a fucked up thing to do.

      • CripesAmighty

        The guy was performing (quite well, one might add) in a public space. Just the way it is.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Maybe.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Remember when cons were lying about transgendered people using public restrooms as command and control centers for massive pedophile rings? Slight change in con policy has been announced: As of now, pedophiles are approved to be US senators…if they’re REPUBLICAN pedophiles.

    • onedollarjuana

      I guess we should have laws against US Senators visiting public bathrooms.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that if you don’t teach people that their natural human urges are depraved, they’ll be way less likely to have to do depraved shit to get hard.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • OutOfOrbit

      reelzees?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I don’t think so.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Doesn’t matter anyway. He actually likes fake Time magazine covers better.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    need to wipe the brain after that:

    https://youtu.be/quDYd_7hRbc

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      THEY SMELL LIKE POPCORN

      • OutOfOrbit

        oh really?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          According to the video.

          • OutOfOrbit

            oh, okay, i didnut watch it too ugly to look at

      • Alternative Dog

        They’re always crawling around my local movie theater.

  • JoeChristmas

    All perfect for lifetime appointments to the federal bench.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I think it’s important to emphasize, for the continued good reputation of all Ohioans, that Wes’s fall from grace actually involved someone not only over the age of consent, but legally an adult in all 50 states.

    Progress, mofos! Progress!

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Just goes to show you that they consider child molestation to be OK, whereas a consensual sexual affair with someone with the same sex is grounds for IMMEDIATE DESTRUCTION.

  • Shanzgood

    My son just got home from work and ranted at me for half an hour about a real-life MRAsshole troll he works with. He did a really good job (if I do say so myself) of demolishing this turd’s arguments but was totally frustrated that it was “like talking to a bag of potsoil”. And THEN he asked me for advice on what to say to the guy next time.

    *Buffs nails on shirt*

    Yes, I told him these guys are pretty much irredeemable but he’s young and…I’m tired.

    Oh, the best thing he said was when I told him about all the MRAsshole websites like A Voice for Men. He yelled WHAT IS THAT STUPID SHIT ANYWAY?! MEN ALREADY *HAVE* A VOICE!! WAY MORE THAN WOMEN!!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Bravo Shanz. You raised that boy good.

      • Shanzgood

        Sometimes I wonder. But not today. He made me proud!

        I just told him to ask the dude if he belongs to any incel groups (his co-worker is a 28-yo virgin who “waddles like Pooh Bear and can’t even tuck his shirt in”). Then I had to explain what THOSE guys are. I think he’s still in WTF mode.

        • OutOfOrbit

          that … that must’ve been hard to do

          • Shanzgood

            Not really. “Involuntary Celibates, they call themselves. They blame women, feminazis, and “Chads” for the fact they can’t get laid. Nothing to do with them being assholes at all.”

            (Yes, we are potty-mouth in my house.)

          • OutOfOrbit

            why me not surprised (snicker snicker)

          • Shanzgood

            Being raised by hippie parents and spending 20+ years in construction will do that.

          • Shanzgood

            By “hippie” parents. Bad edit.

          • OutOfOrbit

            construction, erection, same thing right?

          • King Beauregard

            https://pics.onsizzle.com/superior-erection-company-39oi-this-is-a-real-place-in-2771165.png

            I can confirm that this is real; I’ve driven past it and taken photos myself.

          • OutOfOrbit

            i know, there really are erection co’s.

          • Nasty Girl Brianna

            Or the fact that they are physically repulsive to anyone with a single iota of standards.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t necessarily buy into that. I’ve been involved with “Pooh Bear” shaped men before and don’t find them physically repulsive. It’s only when their attitude and politics come out as repulsive that a person puts me off. A guy could look like Adonis but if he spouted nonsense, I wouldn’t touch him. That’s how I accidentally got involved with a Libertarian when I was very young. Bleurgh.

          • King Beauregard

            “Or the fact that they are physically repulsive to anyone with a single iota of standards.”

            See, this is where I hold society partially to blame. Watch every TV show, movie, and afterschool special ever, and what do they all preach? You don’t have to be handsome, just be yourself and the girl of your dreams will see your inner charms. In fact she is likely to dump her current boyfriend (who is handsome but a jerk) when she realizes how much better you are.

            As hard as that message is hammered into people, can we at least see how some people would grow up expecting that message is true? And how frustrated they might become when they find the world doesn’t work like that?

            I don’t think people are justified in responding by turning into misogynist assholes; however, we shouldn’t be surprised that it happens. And maybe we do best by not equipping people with faulty maps.

          • Nasty Girl Brianna

            No, I’m more referring to the fact that they don’t believe in hygiene or exercise.

          • King Beauregard

            I saw nothing in the original post that indicated the guy didn’t wash himself, just that he didn’t tuck his shirt in.

            As for not exercising, you don’t know that about him either. I know I’ve struggled with weight all my life, even putting in crazy amounts of exercise and still barely taking any of it off. My sister, too, used to be capable of competing in triathlons (coming in last, but still) and even so the years have put many many pounds on her; you’d never know she she was one an athlete looking at her. It happens to some of us even though we try very hard not to let it happen.

            What I’m saying is, you’re going out of your way to conclude that this guy is doing everything he can to make himself physically repulsive, and that’s pretty shitty. Yeah his attitude towards women is pretty shitty too, so I guess there’s a lot of shitty going around.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Physically and morally repulsive.

    • shivaskeeper

      Topsoil is useful. As is a Bag of hammers. Bag of hair is a better description.

      Other than that you done good.

      • Shanzgood

        I found a bag of hair recently. It was very disconcerting until I realized it was one of my daughter’s cosplay wigs.

        Still more useful than the dude my son was talking to.

        • shivaskeeper

          A wig can be useful. I mean like a bag of floor hair from a barber shop, or hair brushed off a dog. And yes, I know dogs technically have fur, not hair.

          • Shanzgood

            I want one of those hair vacuum things like my hairdresser has. You just sweep the stuff at it and a sensor automatically sucks it up. You don’t want to leave it on automatic all the time, though. My former hairdresser did that and it caught a mouse. Took her ages (and uselessly tearing up parts of her shop) before she found the source of the smell.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Something he could say to the guy is “Maybe you should find a woman and talk to her to see what she wants instead of getting your information from people who don’t interact with women and who make gross generalizations about them.”

      There’ll still be pushback, of course, probably because the guy will already claim he’s done so, even though he led with that giant chip on his shoulder.

      • Shanzgood

        Good one!

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          He’d have to practice his listening skills. As in, actually having any.

    • Alex Grey

      I am not typically a violent person, but these MRA types deserve to be punched in the face, repeatably, with votes.

    • Alex Grey

      Good goddess, I really hate those, “shit fer brains,” types of men.

  • jesterpunk

    If only there where more guns in church or the wife had a gun too. But really these “responsible” gun owners cant even show off their toys without shooting people, what exactly would they do during an actual emergency?

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/man-accidentally-shoots-wife-church-discussing-weapons-churches/story?id=51221000

    A man accidentally shot himself and his wife in their Tennessee church after he had taken his gun out during a discussion about weapons in places of worship, police said.

    The man, 81, and his wife, 80, both suffered non-life-threatening injuries, police said.

    The incident happened Thursday afternoon as members of the First United Methodist Church in Tellico Plains — about 60 miles southwest of Knoxville — were gathered at the church for a pre-Thanksgiving lunch, Tellico Plains Police Department Chief Russ Parks told ABC News.

    The church members were discussing weapons in places of worship on the heels of the shooting at a Texas church earlier this month that killed over two dozen people, Parks said, and “one of the gentlemen said, ‘Well, I take my gun with me everywhere.'”

    • This is not really “accidental,” it’s a result of stupidity. Not just carrying a pistol into a church, but the odds were he didn’t even have it on safe.

      • jesterpunk

        He “forgot” it was loaded.

        The 81-year-old man took his handgun out of his pocket, removed the magazine, cleared the weapon and handed it to other churchgoers who wanted to see it, Parks said.

        He then took his weapon back, placed the magazine back in it, put the gun back in his holster and placed it in his pocket, Parks said.

        When another man came over and asked to see the weapon, the man pulled his gun back out of his pocket and accidentally hit the trigger, firing one round, Parks said.

        “This was an accident. It was not intentional,” Parks said. “It just slipped his mind that he recharged the weapon.”

        • shivaskeeper

          His 81 year old ads needs to be on the way to jail. There are no fucking accidents with firearms. Ever.

          • Nasty Girl Brianna

            That’s why they’re ONLY called “Negligent Discharges” in the military. Not “accidental”. NEGLIGENT.

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes. 23 year Army vet. Accident implies no one is at fault.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Freedumb: “It wasn’t my fault, it was an assident!”

          • jesterpunk

            Most of the time it turns into “he is sorry and made a mistake, he has suffered enough” and they let them go. Look at the cracker barrel “accidental shooting” or any other one the (white male) gun owner claimed it was an accident.

          • shivaskeeper

            I know. That attitude needs to change. If there are no real repercussions for negligence with a firearn they will continue to be treated like toys instead of the deadly weapons they are.

          • jesterpunk

            I really think anyone that wants a gun should have to go through military weapons training every few years and be required to have a locked gun safe. If they can demonstrate to the instructor they are mature and responsible enough to have a gun and can demonstrate they can store it safely then they can have one. If they fuck up and shoot anything or anyone when they are not hunting or at a target range they lose all rights to own a gun right then.

          • shivaskeeper

            That is not nearly as harsh as what my criteria would be.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeah, but that would be considered “well-regulated”, yes?

            Oh…Wait.

        • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

          I keep wondering how long it’s gonna be before one of these men shoots off his own genitals.

      • shivaskeeper

        Not stupidity. Negligence. It is always negligence.

        • OutOfOrbit

          negligent stupidity coupled to stupid negligence

          • shivaskeeper

            Stupidity cannot be criminal. Negligence can. That is why I make a distinction.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s unfortunate sometimes.

      • Crank Tango

        But he could have been shot by a bad guy in the time it takes to take it off safe or chamber a round. Didn’t think about that didya, smart guy.

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        Safety devices iz fer sissies an’ commies!

    • OutOfOrbit

      that is soooo fine!

      • jesterpunk

        What could possibly go wrong? In most states you have to retake a drivers test at a certain age but when it comes to guns there are very few restrictions and things like this fall under “shit happens”.

        • OutOfOrbit

          *shakes head in sadness*

        • Shanzgood

          I thought exactly that.

        • David Chaillou

          Sorry, should have read before typing the exact same thing.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Ammosexuals for Jeebus!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “Man accidentally shoots wife in church during discussion about gun safety in church”

      #NotTheOnion

    • David Chaillou

      In my country once you reach a certain age you have mandatory medical checks every few years to ensure you are still fit to drive. Weird you don’t have that for guns.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Well, come on! Did the Founding Fathers drive cars when Jesus gave them the Constitution on stone tablets? NO! THEY HAD GUNS TO DEFEND THE HOLY LAND FROM COMMUNISTS! MAGA!!!!!

  • A nice song, and good for young women..
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEiSF8HpyDg

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Let me just say:

      I’d vote for one of Disney’s fictional characters before ever voting for one of these holier-than-thou Repukes. At least with a fictional character you know that you won’t get any of the shit that the Repugs pull.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    The only thing that stops a bad guy with a micro-assassination drone is a good guy with a micro-assassination drone:

    https://twitter.com/sehnaoui/status/931926337849262080

    • Sheepshagger

      Well at least the loonies have something concrete to focus on now.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Is there not enough concrete in their own heads to focus on?

      • Incoming Ham

        The one million dollar question is – how can Alex Jones sell something from it?

    • yyyaz

      New killing devices that get public play always make me wonder what hellish toys the CIA, FSB, Mossad, MI6 and sundry others really have at their disposal.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Mossad henchmen worked for Harvey Weinstein. Just sayin’.

        “God’s own Anglo-American ally”.

      • Shibusa

        If you’re Vlad, you don’t have to wonder. You can just ask Donnie Two Scoops.

  • calliecallie

    All this projection is getting a bit tiresome, TBH.

  • calliecallie

    WaPo is doing God’s work.

  • Sheepshagger
    • Ryan Denniston

      And, or?

      • Sheepshagger

        Such as.

    • Shanzgood

      Has Goodman never thought to look on Craigslist? There are whole categories of ads by people looking to do just that.

  • ExecutorElassus

    Pedantry Corner: Garner, my very favorite authority on English usage, regards both “pled” and “pleaded” as acceptable past tense forms of “plead” (rhymes with “tweed”) but not “plead” (rhymes with “pled”).

  • thewalkindude

    Hillary on Friday-“Look at the contrast between Al Franken, accepting responsibility, apologizing, and Roy Moore and Donald Trump who have done neither.”
    Which, of course, drew a response… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ea142c0e66ba5544df88e9317a951e861820bb3069764dae62aa78874b388e8.jpg

    • Ryan Denniston

      Dude, pretty sure you’re the guy who drags her into a tweet every week. But good job! Not a word misspelled this time!

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        He even managed to avoid random capitalizations!

        • Indeniable Ron

          Maybe he figured out Autocorrect.

    • Carpe Vagenda
    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      This tweet brought to you from the school yard.

    • Indeniable Ron

      He thinks about her more than Bill does. He’d be pathetic if he weren’t beneath contempt.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Whenever I hear of a reich-wing politician who gets caught doing these sorts of things, I think “Must be a day ending in Y.”

  • grindstone

    You guys are intelligent adults: how in the hell does a refrigerator get so damned dirty?? The box we keep our food in is the messiest appliance in the house.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Gremlins.

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        IMHO, that movie is the best way to watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    • natoslug

      I don’t know about you, but I blame it on the quality of the milk jugs that I store my urine in.

      • Sheepshagger

        For me it’s the souvenirs.

        • natoslug

          If you tan the skins, not only can you wear them later, but they then no longer require refrigeration. Just make sure it puts the lotion on its skin while you’re doing any fattening up.

          • Sheepshagger

            My HOA is very restricted with the covenants.

          • grindstone

            Christ on toast I take back my assessment.

          • Incoming Ham

            When you sign them in blood, it’s binding. No getting out of that.

          • Crank Tango

            Well, I hope all the tanning explains all the urine.

          • natoslug

            It tastes better chilled.

          • natoslug

            Plus, it’s the main ingredient in my artisanal explosives business.

          • Crank Tango

            Tell me about it. It’s really shitty trying to make an organic fertilizer bomb.

          • natoslug

            What chaps me are customers asking for the free range, sustainably harvested options as well.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You’re not Canuckistani are you? In that case they’d be bags…

        • natoslug

          I wish. I live in the Land of the Free (to go bankrupt due to medical emergencies).

    • BadKitty904

      Gremlins.

  • ExecutorElassus

    Wes Goodman in that picture up top with his “wife” is definitely adopting the body language of a heterosexual man who feels comfortable and intimate and committed and in a loving relationship with the woman on his arm.

  • WilbyToad

    I’ve mentioned I’m a fan of every type of music, which includes 70’s pop rock schmaltz with a wholesome veneer. In that vein I have some very sad news.

    DAVID CASSIDY IN CRITICAL CONDITION … Organs Failing
    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10141917517

    • Incoming Ham

      He was my first crush. Senor Ham and I talked this morning about rock stars, tv hearthrobs, etc. we remember as kids are pushing 70+ now. It’s kind of hard to reframe – not the least because it reminds one of ones own age.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • artem1s

      AOT,K

    • OrG

      Alberto Gonzalez is not pleased.

      • SDGeoff3

        Good. Fuck Alberto Gonzalez.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Does he recall he’s attorney general when he wakes up every morning, or do staff remind him?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Depends on whether he’s wearing his pajamas with the white hood or not.

        • Khavrinen

          You mean he has any other kind?

    • Khavrinen

      “Stupid, Senile, or LYING”

      When “Why not both?” isn’t even enough.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        And for this we have “AOT,K”

    • BadKitty904

      So, treason causes brain damage? Or vice-versa?

      • Bad Scooter

        chicken-or-egg first? debate

    • Bobathonic

      Why not AOT,K?

  • BadKitty904

    If we endorse these types of individuals, then it would seem our whole weekend together was nothing more than a charade,” the stepfather wrote to Tony Perkins, president of the Council for National Policy.

    (It WAS nothing more than a charade, ya gullible buffoon. ~ BK)

    Trust me . . . this will be ignored and swept aside,” replied Perkins, who also heads the Family Research Council, a prominent evangelical activist group. “It will be covered up swiftly, but with intent.

  • Alternative Dog
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      fucking good. (they’re not fucking good…but i what I meant was, we need less humans in this world)

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        We certainly need fewer Republicans. Not sure what species they qualify as, though.

    • artem1s

      Reagan, and Bush and Bush and Bush again, and Dolt45.

    • Khavrinen

      Gee, maybe if you wanted Millennials to have more kids you shouldn’t have dedicated your entire political careers to creating a future so bleak no responsible adult would want to subject any children to it?

    • Walter Wellstone

      Love the user name.

      • Alternative Dog

        Me too. It cracked me up.

      • BloviateMe

        Ha! I missed that the first go-round.

    • BloviateMe

      They must’ve hated all that “begat” shit in the bible too. It’s a plot killer and wildly unnecessary. I just skip to the sexy times.

      • Serai 1

        The begats are literally a list of all the sexy times.

        • BloviateMe

          But without the sexy details, sooo…

    • SayItWithWookies

      There’s always immigration — I hear there are huddled masses waiting to get in. Or at least there used to be.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        They’re only allowed in if they look like members of ABBA.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Not letting in Fernando would be our Waterloo.

          • amrak63

            The haters will sound an SOS if Chiquitita tries to get in, too.

          • amrak63

            And without millennial Mama Mias producing babies, where will the Winners Who Took It All find enough Super Troopers in the future to police the world on behalf of McDuck, Inc.?

    • amrak63

      Their own stupid greedy evil policies have created the baby bust, so they’ll HAVE to let Fernando and Chiquitita in to keep the economy going, and F & C no son locos; they’ll vote Democratic. (Or would loco use a conjugation of estar rather than ser? Spanish has two different verbs for “to be”, but hacer has to double up as “to do” and “to make”.)

      Sometimes, there actually is justice in this world. Praise the Ascended Madoka, the FSM, and J. R. “Bob” Dobbs!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out the door again on this note:

    https://twitter.com/MotherJones/status/931572668717043712

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    After reading this and any number of other brain-bleach-mandatory articles about garbage men and creepy incels, if anyone is in need of a “That’s Enough Internet for Today” .gif meme, let the record show that doggies now have their own version because kitties weren’t the only ones who’ve had enough of Rule 34.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohs7JO1bh9aqPcaCk/giphy.gif

    The original, for purposes of solidarity.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a0817156455aa4ffb95503de6a7322a16a7a8a173f6b96b8344e922e0c95cef.gif

  • Serai 1
    • Sheepshagger

      Blue sky hypothetical I imagine.

    • natoslug

      Friends don’t let friends be Kyle.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Friends don’t let friends do Kyle, either.

    • Jamoche
    • Thiazin Red

      Dude, its not going to help you with women to advertise how bad at sex you are.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “I will study the issue further.”
      https://media.giphy.com/media/a3zqvrH40Cdhu/giphy.gif

    • BloviateMe

      Kyle, google “squirter” and report back ASAP.

      • Shanzgood

        That’s…kind of a “defining moment” yeah.

    • Ninja0980

      I’m gay and even I know more about women and sex then he does.

    • Incoming Ham

      Is he trying to be funny or is he serious?

    • Juan de Fuca

      Wanna know how I know that Kyle hasn’t studied the issue at all?

    • SayItWithWookies

      And that was this episode of “Kyle won’t be getting a date.”

    • WilbyToad

      Kamala’s staredown is already legend. I’d love to see her go face to face with Lisa Murkowski in a showdown. Anything caught between their gazes would explode into fire.

    • The Wanderer

      What the sloppy monkey fuck?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I will study the issue further.

      In my bunk.
      If there’s wifi.

    • bupkus231

      Somehow, I don’t think that’s Senator Harris’s “O face”….

  • BloviateMe

    I love my nephew’s weird posts, he’s like my personal funny stuff aggregator.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23177d82daf87dd8111af23da206777c22a19746329a75cd00064068d52fcb9d.jpg

    • Juan de Fuca

      It’s funny because that really is true.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Yes, it does smell better than “real” cigarettes. It does not mean I want you blowing it in my face, you douchehammock.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Goodman was having sex in his office with a man who was not an employee. At least he wasn’t dipping his wang in the company ink. Give the poor bastard a break.

    • James Smith

      Who says he was the one doing the dipping?

      • onedollarjuana

        And who says that wasn’t a job interview?

  • Begin Anew Day

    Looks like it’s time for me to get in the merge lane for the Speculation Superhighway!

    I’ve seen enough. It’s time for the American Psychiatric Association to quit fooling around and DO something about this crap!

    These closeted family values reactionaries are totally out of control!

    C’mon you shrinks! Load up your elephant guns with tranquilizer darts and get on down to the nearest GOP district office and bag some of these predators before they graduate to serial murder! What are you waiting for?

  • BadKitty904

    Say, you know who else is a rapid advocate of anti-gay “conversation therapy” that consists of the electroshock torture of gay teenagers?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/395dc974e549f451af1333fb873712f9ee1e10acab56a68ecc901ec4801803af.jpg

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Do NOT want as POTUS if Trump gets impeached.

      • BadKitty904

        Same thing as putting both Koch Bros. in the Oval Office. They’ve owned Pence for years.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          The Kochs are trying to buy Time magazine. It’s a pity that Republicans just have no voice in America today.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Rupert Moloch already bought NatGeo.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Oh, terrific. I guess we’ll get articles on how oil extraction is great for the earth.

          • BadKitty904

            Thanks to the Republican FCC’s reg changes last week, the Republicans will soon be the only voice in America. Unless the Dems do something.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I wish Tom Steyer would stop wasting his money on those “impeach” ads, and start doing something useful, like buying Time magazine.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “Ask that guy about the gays! He wants to HANG ‘EM ALL!”

      -Trump, in a rare moment of brutal honesty

    • Raan

      That’s a great South Park episode.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Tiffany de Houston

      Oooh, Ivanka! Obamacare will cover that burn!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Did everybody go look at the centerpiece. Ugliest piece shit I ever saw. Fucking hilarious.

      • jesterpunk

        That looks like my kitchen table when I didnt do dishes for a few days when the dishwasher broke and I wasn’t feeling good.

      • Michael R
        • Alex Grey

          “NO DUMPING TRUMPING
          VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED.”
          FTFY

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            How’d they fit it in the can?

      • Swampay

        It’s huge! I don’t think I’d have any room left on the table for food. But that’s ok, I doubt I’d have any room for food in my stomach if I had to eat looking at that monstrosity.

      • Bad Scooter

        Also too, all those sharp, dead branches sticking out at eye level would create a safety hazard. At my house, anyway. Jarvanka’s table is probably so huge that someone has to crawl up on it to push the centerpiece to the middle.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Oh my God. You weren’t exaggerating.

      • SDGeoff3

        And it is all white.

    • Crank Tango

      Is that a giant clam in her pic?

    • Covfefe

      There was a time in Michigan when prison food, however tastelesss, nevertheless was sanitary. Then they privatized the food service. Because Reoublicans got control of all three branches of governmen.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        yeah, there was a time when depravity generally had limits, and all-out criminality in the name of profits wasn’t openly tolerated

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      And just a tiny bit later…

      https://i.imgur.com/afjldKC.png

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Do they serve steak with ketchup in Federal prison? Asking for this dude I know.

      • Alex Grey

        Only if you are pardoned…

    • Alex Grey
    • SDGeoff3

      That is lovely.

  • WilbyToad

    Feinstein predicts 2018 will be ‘year of the women’

    “I predict based on what I see out there that we are going to have another Year of the Woman,” Feinstein told party officials at the California Democratic Party Executive Board meeting, according to the Los Angeles Times.

    “What it means is that we have an opportunity to really turn this next year into a year of change affecting women,” she added.

    Feinstein was first elected to the Senate in 1992, when a number of female candidates won bids for public offices.

    by Max Greenwood, THE HILL
    http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/361048-feinstein-predicts-2018-will-be-year-of-the-women

    I’ve followed Dianne since she was a San Francisco City Supervisor, and while I’ve disagreed with her on various issues, she’s called this one right. We’re on the edge of historic change.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Hillary said that in the ’90s. We ended up with a massive scandal about her husband getting a beej. I hope Dianne isn’t speaking too soon.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        No risk there. Nobody would give Mr DiFi a beej.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          LOL.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Wasn’t George Rekers a co-founder of FRC? He was the one caught at an airport with a male prostitute who was hired to “carry his luggage.”

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Well…it is very hard to travel when you have a bad back, don’tcha know!

    • Khavrinen

      Oh, is that “what the kids are calling it these days”?

    • Covfefe

      Some people discriminate against gays in employment. Obvs, George Rekers is better than that. We should encourage Grorge.

  • Thiazin Red

    I watched Cabaret this afternoon and I wanted to constantly yell at the other characters to listen to Brian and take this nazi shit seriously.

    • vivian

      Today we are all the other characters.

  • BadKitty904

    What kind of parent leaves their child – of either gender – unprotected anywhere near a Republican?

    • BloviateMe

      I wouldn’t leave the pets alone with them, much less the kids.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I wouldn’t leave plants with them.

        (You can’t tell me Harvey Weinstein is the only one…)

        • BloviateMe

          LOL

        • Khavrinen

          “My ficus is still traumatized!”

          • BloviateMe

            “Yet the cactus seems unfazed.”

  • Alternative Dog

    Regarding that new country music anthem…

    https://twitter.com/fakedansavage/status/931965085119012864

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Yeah, I mean, I can’t even play Twister or figure out what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

      • OutOfOrbit

        mixed couples twister is sooo naughty ( :

        • bupkus231

          mixed couples NEKKID Twister!!!!

          • OutOfOrbit

            you know?!

          • bupkus231

            Long time ago. At my age and physical condition, tying my shoes is almost as strenuous

        • proudgrampa

          And painful. Just sayin.

          • OutOfOrbit

            mebbee just watch, k?

          • proudgrampa

            That’s no fun!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        AOI,K.

  • Covfefe

    Please try to understand. If you live in a solid Republican area and you want a career in politics, Republican is your only choice, and you’re not going to win a Republican primary these days unless you act crazier than everyone else in the primary. That rule applies to gays as well as heterosexuals. Can a normal, rational heterosexual be honest and happy with himself in the Republican Party? Why should it be any different for a gay man or woman.

    • vivian

      Because of the Party platform and legislative history?

      • Covfefe

        Straight Republicans are capable of dealing with the party’s platform and legislative history in order to get ahead. Why can’t gays?

        • vivian

          Because the legislative history and party platform are expressly anti-gay?

          • Covfefe

            Tha legislative history and party platform are expressly anti-family, expressly anti-Middle class, expressly anti-growth and expressly anti almost everything else. Straight guys manage to swallow their pride.

          • Covfefe

            You wanna be a Republican, you have to make some sacrifices. Gays can do that just as well as straight guys.

    • OutOfOrbit

      as long as it is kept in the closet

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      If you are sentient and live in a solid Republican area, I have just one thing to say
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXb0zcEM-rI

      • amrak63

        Some of us simply can’t. :(

    • SayItWithWookies

      If you want a career helping people, but the only job openings are for hitting them with a baseball bat, do you take the job?

      • Covfefe

        I, personally, am a Democrat, no matter where I live. But to hear the average Republican tell it. I’m and elitist.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Damn you, GOP. Not only did you steal billions and billions from all of us, you stole that phrase from Carl Sagan! Give all of it back!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Russian foreign investors get to do a happy dance thanks to GOP scum.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Now you can launder your money here and save on taxes — thanks, Donald Trump and the GOP!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      In Alabamastan, a defender of dog victims is perfectly qualified to be a defender of a victimizing dog.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    If a fiction writer had characters like those two and them Wes Goodman and Ralph Shortey, they would be laughed at for such bad writing.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I’m in favor of abstinence in these cases–abstinence from public office or contact with teenagers.

    • DainBramage

      Republican should all practice permanent abstinence.

    • bupkus231

      Abstinence from contact with the rest of humanity….

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    George Rekers, cofounder of FRC:
    “Rekers began his professional life as a psychiatrist. In the early 1980s, he co-founded the Family Research Council, a group that lobbies against gay rights. Over the next two decades, he penned books and tracts with titles like “Shaping Your Child’s Sexuality” and “Growing Up Straight: What Every Family Should Know About Homosexuality.” He testified as an expert witness against gay adoption in Florida and Arkansas, and on behalf of the Boy Scouts of America when the Scouts came under fire for discriminating against gay scoutmasters.
    Our story hit the Web on Tuesday, May 4. The next day, Rekers’ escort acknowledged to us he had given Rekers sexual massages.
    In an interview with us, Rekers denied any sexual contact with the male escort. He claimed he wasn’t aware that his companion offered sexual favors for sale over the Internet until after the trip, and said he hired him only to carry his bags.
    CNN obtained a contract apparently signed by Rekers with details of his arrangement with the escort.”

    Rekers “therapy” involved spanking young kids and withholding maternal affection. I wondered what happened to Rekers – he’s changed his name and disappeared.

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/06/08/rekers.sissy.boy.experiment/index.html

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That is one sick fuck. I always hate it when shrinks abuse their license, not only for the obvious reasons of them harming their patients and egregiously violating the Hippocratic Oath, but because it gives credence to the psych-denial crowd.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m no psychiatrist, but I’m pretty sure spanking a 5 year old boy, because he’s “too feminine” isn’t going to change his sexuality.

        • MizzMazz

          Just sounds like he’s into spanking. Evil scumbag.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Look up John Money and David Reimer. This creep (Money, which really was his name) sexually abused a young intersexed Canadian boy in numerous ways — including forcing him to have sex with his twin brother while in Money’s office — to prove his hypothesis that gender identity is mutable. Not only did David — and his twin brother — both commit suicide in adulthood, but Money’s atrocious experimentation set the stage for RWNJs to discredit legitimate transition therapies as “child abuse” and to deny the identities of gender-nonconforming kids as being “brought about by sexual abuse” for years afterward. Money still gets brought up not only by transphobes but by TERFs to demonstrate their own idiotic hypothesis that the mere concept of gender identity is unscientific quackery. That asshole damaged a lot more people than his horribly abused patients.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            A kid that George Rekers experimented on also grew up to commit suicide. The authors of the article that I linked to were trying to find other of his patients, but because of doctor patient confidentiality it’s been difficult.

            Gay people have created some of the greatest works of art and literature, why do we need to be “cured”?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He was doing more than carrying your bags, Cupcake.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I hope he’s gone to work for gay rights in Russia or Uganda, to atone for his sins, and that he’s living with a nice young man named Kevin.

    • Covfefe

      Thing is, by the end of the ‘80’s, you couldn’t fill a megachurch anymore, or run a national Christian radio or television show anymore, by preaching against miscegenation. Guys had to do something about their business model. If secular corporations can move on, to something technically distasteful, why can’t Christians?

  • Shanzgood

    My ghey daughter is currently painting her Thor-lookalike cis het brother’s nails for him. I went past the bathroom and asked “Are you two cooking meth in the bathtub?” (the smell)

    Both in unison: Yeah!

    Me, opening the door: you might want some ventilation!

    Son: YEAH MOM WE HIGH AF RIGHT NOW!!

    (Yes, he accidentally yells everything)

    • OutOfOrbit

      and the neighbor said “what?”

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      He looks like Vincent D’Onofrio in 1987, Chris Hemsworth in 2017, or Woman in the Persistence’s shaggy-haired Viking watchdog any time of the decade?

      • Shanzgood

        He looks like Chris Hemsworth with a ginger beard. But more handsomer (IMO).

      • bupkus231

        “He looks like Vincent D’Onofrio in 1987…”

        I hope he doesn’t look like Vincent D’Onofrio in 2017 ( currently on Syfy’ “Ghost Wars” series as a recurring character ).

        He hasn’t aged well ( IMO – and I know I haven’t, and he’s 3 years younger than me ). Oh well, time marches on…..

      • therblig

        “Adventures in Babysitting” is underrated.

    • BloviateMe

      Boyyyy I remember the first time MY mom caught me cooking up meth. Good times.

  • Jamoche

    :(
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/AC-DC-founding-member-Malcolm-Young-dead-at-64-12367934.php
    AC/DC founding member Malcolm Young dead at 64

    I went looking for videos and this came up first
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3SBzmDxGk
    Which sent me down a rabbit hole of other covers
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay_jN3KHp5c

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Unfortunately, it does.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I thought he then de-reversed it.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Enraging? Yes. Surprising? No.

    I would estimate that at least half of anti-gay activists are either closeted or hiding something similar. I mean, what else would provide that particular motivation, day after day?

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it’s true… why be SO upset by something that has literally no direct effect on you

      why the protests? why the phony indignation and the hypocritical “christianity?”

      they’ve been raised to believe fags are evil so…when it turns out, uh, they have feelings for dudes (or, teens like this dude), they don’t know what to do with the cognitive dissonance and they turn their anger outward

      • BloviateMe

        Is it that, or they want to make sure it’s really naughty and sinful and taboo so the sexy times are that much more thrilling? Or a combo of both?

        • OutOfOrbit

          self-loathing is my guess

          • BloviateMe

            Yet, not so loathsome as to avoid doing it.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      You should check out Canada’s Conservative Party. It’s a walk-in closet the size of a pro hockey stadium. It became a bigly yuge joke (gallows humor, I guess), when their very own fascist dick-taster Stephanie Harper hid in an actual closet during the 2014 Parliament Hill shooting attack. Every single insult and idiotic meme that these guys and their Internet-driven cult members hurl against a very-married-to-a-beautiful-woman father of three about his colorful socks, pink shirt, former part-time profession as a junior-high acting coach, and fondness for attending Pride parades, is just one more obvious revelation of self-hatred. Justin doesn’t give a shit. The cons are the only ones freaking out. They freak out even more because their freaking out fails to make him freak out.

      • Covfefe

        Not being a Canadian, I have to ask. Is Stephanie Harper what you’re calling him these days? Or was that just an accident?

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          That was a one-off intentional. I’m not Canadian either but an admirer of Disneyland North from my vantage point on the wrong side of the Orange Curtain. Harper has long been considered a closet case up there, though. Jason Kenney, another holdover from the lost decade currently running for premier of Alberta and who wants to basically out kids who join gay-straight alliances in schools. Andrew Scheer, the current Crappers’ leader, former Speaker of the House, and another militant, angry Catholic fundamentalist who vehemently opposes the rights of trans people. Then there’s their over-the-top deranged Goebbels in Ezra Levant, who is for all intents and purposes a hate-preacher and a cyber-stalker with an obvious hatecrush on Trudeau. The cons aren’t even considered “Canadian” anymore. They’re being viewed more and more as the GOP of the North, believe me.

          • Vienna Woods

            I’ve never heard him referred to as a closet case, and I’m pretty up on Harper slurs. Now, there are rumours that his wife was shacked up in the château Laurier with a female Mountie, and his former minister of foreign affairs John Baird was a notorious closet case.
            I do consider them fellow Canadians, just ones I don’t like or agree with.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Misogyny. If you think of women as dumb animals for you to stick your dick in without consent, how would you feel about someone who thought of you as a potential partner in penetrative intercourse?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I honestly never thought of it that way. But now that I have, I hate all gay people!

        Edit: Boy, that happened fast.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          That’s not what you said when we went shopping for a riding crop.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            {looks around nervously}. Ha! Is funny joke you tell, Kiri! Such the funny unicorn you are! {hisses quietly} You just wait ‘til we get home!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *giggles, anticipatory tail swish*

            I’m a bad unicorn who needs a spanking!

        • Shanzgood

          Seriously? You’ve never heard “homophobic men are worried that gay men will treat them like women”?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Snort.

          Seriously, if you listen to one of the homophobic hysterics, what they imagine gay men want to do is straight (as it were) out of MRA wish fulfillment.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        THIS.

  • armed_bears

    OK: I feel bad for the wives.

    • OutOfOrbit

      What can’yuh say?

      • armed_bears

        I know… but ick. And it is not a reflection on them… just more ‘men being assholes’… but ick also too.

        • OutOfOrbit

          perps like these guys spread so much nastiness and hurt and shame …!… fuck

    • Crank Tango

      Because they married the guys thinking they are different assholes than they actually are?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Stockholm Syndrome

      • Shanzgood

        That makes me uncomfortable because…agency. It’s not like these women were literally kidnapped, isolated, tied up, and assaulted until they broke. They were raised to be as invested as their husbands are in the same system that supports their lifestyle at the expense of others they chronically don’t give a shit about and actively seek to oppress.

        If we don’t question the men’s ability to retain and be responsible for their own free will, I think we shouldn’t question “their” women’s ability to do the same. It’s called complicity.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      They knew what they signed up for.

  • jesterpunk
    • Doug Langley

      Someone said that Louie’s chart shows no connection between Hillary and the Clinton Foundation?

      • Beelzebubba

        Louis is the dumbest box of rocks ever sent to Congress.

      • jesterpunk

        It also didnt show a connection between the AG and Justice Department but it showed a connection between Obama and Obama.

  • natoslug

    In other news, our Shadow Presidency’s VP has decided that women are too autonomous, voting to confirm a woman who belongs to an organization that calls women handmaids. Tim Kaine is not my real dad.

    https://twitter.com/NARAL/status/931689864441090049

    • natoslug

      I’d love to see Kaine, Donnelly, and Manchin all primaried from the left by women.

      • Shanzgood

        The good kind of women, though. Not the ones who hate other women.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      WHAT THE FUCK, TIM KAINE? The woman who made you a vice-presidential candidate must be so proud.

      • Shanzgood

        Wait, Kaine is involved with this shite?

  • tehbaddr

    See, both sides do it!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    It’s been a rainy 35 (1-2C) here in Chicago today, so I spent the day making croissants… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cba638ea18c4b151b4ef12cf4a35a845748bcfb5eaf823949f435add6f59912.jpg

  • WilbyToad

    ‘No news here’: Jeff Flake says hot mic comment that GOP is ‘toast’ isn’t new information

    Flake was caught on tape by Arizona’s KNXV-TV on Friday night, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.”

    by David Ferguson, RawStory
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/no-news-here-jeff-flake-says-hot-mic-comment-that-gop-is-toast-isnt-new-information/

    Indeed the GOP has been declaring Flake’s decision not to run is because he’s failing. Jeff’s reply has been back atcha.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Whaddya mean “if”?

    • Begin Anew Day

      Yo Jeff!

      There is no “if” about it. You ARE the party of donnie and Roy Moore. Live with it!

    • Daniel

      “When we became the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump” is what I think he meant.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh Jeff, this is what you’ve allowed Fox News to turn your base into, and without them, you have nothing, because there aren’t enough rich fuckers to vote for you.

  • tehbaddr

    Goodman has consistently spoken about a man and his views on Penis: “Healthy, vibrant, and throbbing.

    FIFY

    • BloviateMe

      The hard truth.

      • tehbaddr

        The seamed underside.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    David Cassidy is apparently clinging to life in a hospital. I loved The Partridge Family when I was a kid.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Aw, that’s too bad. He was pretty entertaining in a few things as an adult too – reality TV and the like.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I don’t think he grew up to be a RWNJ either, so there’s that.

        • Shanzgood

          I wish we didn’t have that as a bar at all.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Our bars are now pretty much on the ground – “hey, at least he didn’t take his dick out and rub it on someone.” I’m now thinking George W. Bush wasn’t so horrible. There’s a bar I’d never thought could go any lower.

        • kareemachan

          unlike chachi….

    • tehbaddr

      Shirley Jones back in the day, Mmmmm!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Him and Charles Manson. They come in threes, who’s next?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Azzedine Alaia just died.

        I’m actually glad Manson’s on the way out the door. He’s never made at attempt at redemption, unlike the women he manipulated.

  • Juan de Fuca

    My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows but if there’s one thing I’m thankful for, it’s that I’ll never have to worry about receiving a letter like the one that Wes Goodman received from Tony Perkins and having to kiss that guys ass.

    Because fuck going through life like that.

    • bubbuhh

      But, they both enjoyed that.

  • bubbuhh

    Moore backer says ‘he’s the closest thing to a Founding Father’ or, mebbe, ‘Fondling Father”

    “He is the closest thing to a Founding Father that we have seen in our
    lifetimes,” Jennifer Case said at a Women for Roy Moore rally outside
    the Alabama state Capitol.

    Sheesh. Should be called Alabamamas Wif Daddy Issues.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/360928-moore-supporter-hes-the-closest-thing-to-a-founding-father-that-we-have

    • Covfefe

      Nope. Can’t buy it. They weren’t even that crazy in the 18th Century. Maybe 16th Century.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        “We found a witch! May we burn her?”

        • Covfefe

          It is a positive mercy to burn witches, for the longer they live, the more damnation they bring down upon themselves.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Also, you get to take all their property! Woo hoo! Ka ching!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That high pitched whirring sound you’re hearing? Franklin, Jefferson, Madison et all whiring at near relativistic speeds in their graves.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Daddy issues, sibling rivalry, same difference…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Hopefully there won’t be any “Teens for Roy Moore” rallies. It would be embarrassing when they’d have to throw Roy out.

    • TJ Barke

      Yes, the perverted, entitled, good ol’ boy with his jailbird son…

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        And the requisite scammy ‘foundation’ to pay themselves from…

    • Indeniable Ron

      Just as the Founding Fathers are today, his brain has completely decayed, he probably whiffs a bit, and the world would be a much better place if he were put somewhere away from living humans.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        “Closest thing to a Founding Father” means he’s in the next plot over.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It’s only possible to say this if you’ve completely bought the lie about how this was established as an overtly Christian nation.

      • bupkus231

        …as an overtly “Christianist” nation.

        I can’t help feeling that, whatever the views of the Founding Fathers actually were, they were not all that much like the “modern Christianists” version….

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Thanks for the edit. You’re right, they’d be appalled.

    • Daniel

      So he’s OK with slavery, thinks there should be a property threshold for voting, wouldn’t allow women’s suffrage, and has never been to the mid-west?

  • tehbaddr

    “Rather than coming forward about Goodman’s “issues,” Perkins decided to withdraw CNP’s support and encouraged him to seek more “counseling”

    In other words pray the gay away!

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘On your knees! And ask forgiveness! Now scootch a little more forward…’

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      These fucking right-wing religious whackjobs need to pray the CRAY away.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It’s to the point where the default position to take on these people is that they are projecting their own depravity onto others every time.

    • bubbuhh

      Been this way since “the Silent Majority” followed Nixon’s dog whistles onto the national stage

    • tehbaddr

      It’s always projection with the RWNJs!

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
  • Mary Theresa
    • calliecallie

      OMG, that’s beautiful.

    • Shanzgood

      I saw the whole documentary about that a few years ago. It was amazing. There were onion ninjas ALL over the place.

    • Shanzgood
      • Mary Theresa

        OMG…what a tear jerker. Thanks, I needed a good cry. it’s been awhile.

        • Shanzgood

          I’ve watched it multiple times and STILL. The dude taking off the chains kills me every time. No need to guess why.

  • Michael R

    This one goes out to all the little girls from Roy Moore

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQQ3LQWsTUc&t=0m37s

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      A brilliant and creepy song.

  • ken_kukec

    “… Ralph Shortey, a former Oklahoma GOP state representative most famous for having once sought to ban fetuses as a food ingredient …>

    Wow, somebody really fell for that Jonathan Swift essay hook, line, and sinker.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Or missed the irony in Rod Serling’s “To Serve Man”.

      • bupkus231

        Hate to tell you this, but “To Serve Man” was originally a short story by Damon Knight ( 1950 ). Serling’s “Twilight Zone” epi didn’t come along until 1962 ( Serling shared credit for writing the teleplay )

        • amrak63

          Cross-over idea:

          I’ve had an idea for years that somehow, that version of humanity managed to steal the alien technology, successfully rebelled against the alien gourmands–and then, that traumatized and enraged human race decided: “Oh, the Universe is a brutal realm of exploitation, red in tooth and claw? Fine, we know how to do that!”

          And THIS was born.

          https://i.imgur.com/RTD82j8.png

          And the other alien races cursed the gourmands–or would have cursed them if the vengeful humans had left any of the gourmands alive–as the monkey who opened the tiger’s cage.

          Actually, I like my version better than the canonical origin of the Terran Empire.

          • bupkus231

            I didn’t get the Trek ref until I looked that image up ( sorry ). Actually, tho’, I think the idea of the HUMAN race as the most rapacious race ever encountered in the universe has been done many times ( altho’ I don’t know if we’ve ever been depicted as EATING other galactic races )

    • Shanzgood

      IIRC (from living in a neighboring state and following these issues) his thing was about fetal stem cells and a soda recipe. I could be conflating a bunch of different crazy shit, though.

      • kareemachan

        Oh, you silly gril.

        (The last word is from a restroom wall in my college town, where somebody wrote something about “grils”, somebody else corrected him or her, and somebody else famously said, “But what about us grils?”

        Pete’s Tavern, B’ham, WA

        maybe you had to be there?

        • Shanzgood

          I lived in Seattle for a while. Close enough?

    • m3bosha

      Soylent Green is people!!!

      • Indeniable Ron

        Hey, spoilers!

        • calliecallie

          They don’t spoil if you freeze them before the “use by” date.

  • Mary Theresa
    • BloviateMe
      • Indeniable Ron

        That is… well, now I don’t feel like dinner.

      • natoslug

        I don’t know whether to cuddle it, fuck it, or eat it.

        • starfanglednut

          Notk.

        • Lambsendbeds

          Why not all three?

      • Mary Theresa

        Ummm, that’s nightmare material…..lol

      • Doug Langley

        BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!

        • Shanzgood

          Wait, season it first!

      • calliecallie

        Pop that thing in the deep fryer, stat!

      • Lambsendbeds

        Freddy Kruegar’s teddy !

      • bupkus231

        Created by someone who was never taught not to play with their food!

  • covfefesumgame0005

    guys, guys, guys
    “This comes as a surprise to many constituents, because Goodman has
    consistently spoken about “natural marriage” being between a man and a
    woman.”
    he was talking about marriage, not prostate massage!

    • kareemachan

      And as I’ve pointed out before, “natural” behavior includes a shitload of homosexual behavior in many different species – not to mention transgender stuff.

      Just sayin’

      • Daniel

        Well, in frickin’ frogs certainly it does.

        • covfefesumgame0005

          and lions!

      • Shanzgood

        Observed in at least 1500 different species, last I heard.

        Gosh, it’s almost like sex isn’t ALWAYS just for reproduction.

        • bupkus231

          Aw shee-it! Don’t you know them animals don’t have souls! That’s why there homofuckin’ don;t mean shit!!!11!1!

          • Shanzgood

            But it’s still “natural” because NATURE!

            Checkmate, Republiturds!

  • Mary Theresa
  • bubbuhh

    “Goodman’s twitter bio describes him as: “Christian. American. Conservative. Republican. Husband to @Beth1027.”

    In Shortey, he a gay ole ChrACkeR!!!

  • chascates
    • BadKitty904

      Wonketteers are go!

    • Kateaux

      Oh, this could be so much fun…

    • Treehopper1104

      What achievements would those be again?

      • Doug Langley

        Everyone knows! Why, they’re . . . um, they are . . . he did . . . oh, don’t be so cynical.

      • Jesse

        I’m going to thank him for letting me know Puerto Rico is an island.

    • shivaskeeper

      How much does it cost? WND is not known for anything being free.

      • chascates

        They get your name & email which would lead to all sorts of merriment, I’m sure.

    • bupkus231

      How long ago was this announced? I just checked the site ( anonymously ) and it claims there’s only been about 3200 sent – and I’d be willing to bet that most of those were “altered” greetings….

      • Doug Langley

        How many of those were Russian bots?

    • Jesse

      I think maybe we all ought to send him some cards… Get creative!

      • chascates

        I was going to suggest mentioning ‘that time he demanded sex’ and ‘now you’re going to make sure it’s on Fox & Friends.’

    • Skaarphy

      From the comment section to that article:

      OP: “Please help us destroy The United States. Vote Democrat. Have open borders. Bring in muslims by the millions. Vote Democrat.”

      Response A: “You have to stop drinking that Democratic cool aid, it is destroying your brain, if you had one.”

      Response B: “I get your sarcasm but can’t up vote it even though it is the truth.”

    • Indeniable Ron

      Cool. When did Wingnut Daily become a ‘news agency’?

  • Alternative Dog
    • hudson

      time to gloat. i called it right back when the news first broke out. why else would a guy with such connections in the region buys his carpets in VA?

  • Doug Langley

    Open thread?

    1. Apt had Bingo today. Almost won something, but other person yelled “Bingo!” before I realized I had it. Grr. Anyway, manager had pot of homemade soup she sneaked to me. Beef & veggies.

    2. Waiting for bank & police to hash out the stolen/forged/cashed check crap. Then get letter from bank saying they don’t believe me, need an affidavit, proof check was altered, documents, etc, etc. I THOUGHT WE FUKIN’ DONE WITH THIS?????? Got to go in Monday and see what more hoops they need to jump through.

    • Gosala

      My sympathies. I had a similar experience many years ago, and yes, the bank was horrible.

      Hang in there baby; find your happy place; stay centered; don’t get mad, get even…. whatever cliche works

      • Doug Langley

        Consider: I just spent the past 3 months working for another bank. Every single morning, we’d get together and have a quick meeting on how to make customers happy. How to ease their pain? How to solve problems? How to seem caring and sympathetic and helpful? EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. Well, now I’m the customer and it sucks.

      • Doug Langley

        Kinda irks me that no one’s looking at the check and seeing the forgery. I mean, people please. Even on the black & white photostat, I could see the White-Out. Do these people seriously have to send this thing to the FBI Crime Lab and run every test known to man before admitting “Yeah, it looks iffy”?

        • Gosala

          Yes, because they don’t give fuck all about truth. They just don’t want to be liable for the financial loss. Welcome to capitalism plus power.

          • Doug Langley

            Well, they did return the other forged check, so I’m optimistic.

          • Gosala

            fingers crossed

    • TundraGrifter

      Do the police have the actual check or are they working off an electronic copy of it?

      • Doug Langley

        No idea. I gave them a report and the rest is up to them.

        • TundraGrifter

          I ask because it is very difficult to prove a check was altered or the signature forged using just the electronic copy. It’s a flaw in the system that hasn’t really been worked out yet – and probably won’t be, because the banks just take the “You prove it” position.

          • Doug Langley

            Yeah, the copies really poor quality. No idea where the original is. With my luck, the bank probably stuffs them into a furnace.

          • TundraGrifter

            The original check has been shredded. The bank leaves you with no real evidence and then says “prove it.” Proving a signature is forged (say, in an old high school yearbook) often depends on “lifts” – when does the signer lift the pen from the paper? People copy (tracing can be shown because the similarity is too much) but they seldom stop signing at the same moment(s).

  • Gosala

    Ima gonna be just a little bit cranky and kinda incoherent; I’m tired after a hella week; so I’m allowed.

    All this sex scandal stuff is deliciously salacious and an invitation to lovely self righteous feelings of superiority

    But but but…

    1. What really matters in these scandals is not the individuals and the specific cases (well, that matters to the people involved; I mean important publicly, politically) is the culture that gives permission to powerful men to exploit women and boys without repercussions.

    I have some hope that this spate of scandals will help, but I worry that without explicitly naming this permission as a social fact (i.e. patriarchy) that needs changing, it will all end up being, “Remember that year when it seemed like every celebrity and politician was involved in a sex scandal?” and nothing will really change.

    2. Because naughty sex carries such an emotional change, these scandals suck all the attention. Continuing Republican skullduggery is getting scant attention (judicial appointments, retreat on climate change, voter suppression and gerrymandering, private prisons and the school to prison pipeline, massive transfers of wealth from the poor to the rich disguised as as “tax reform,” and the rest.

    3. What underlies both is the privileging of privilege. The Republican program is all about entrenching power, wealth and status in an unassailable citadel. Sexual privilege, for all its emotional charge and its devastating effects on its victims, is really but one aspect of a whole system that exploits its victims in a myriad of ways and produces devastating political, social and economic consequences.

    Yes, I do feel better now. Thanks for listening.

    • Shanzgood

      Maybe if we replace “sex scandals” with “sex crimes” it will be dealt with and remembered differently.

      And, yes. Tough few weeks.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I think you’re on to something here. ‘Scandal’ sounds salacious but not really serious. Reminding people that a crime has been committed (even if the statute of limitations has expired, or some such) might go a ways towards making it less acceptable.

        • Shanzgood

          It’s like saying someone had “sex with a minor” (in the headlines and news articles a lot) instead of calling it what it is: rape. Statutory rape is the same as date rape and forcible rape and marital rape and any other kind of “rape-rape” because its ALL rape. We shouldn’t be afraid to call it what it is.

    • Alternative Dog

      You nailed it. Unfortunately, many who possess privilege and/or power don’t even recognize that fact. Many of those who are aware of the power and privilege they hold will not relinquish them willingly. I’m sorry to say that, historically, that change has always required bloodshed.

      • Gosala

        Well, thank you. And in your turn, you are absolutely right. I don’t remember whether it was King or Ghandi* who observed that the powerful have never relinquished power willingly. It has always had to be wrenched from their (cold, dead) hand.

        *or maybe both, or maybe Marx. I don’t know.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      We could simplify, if the media did not suck. Does anybody ask a victim of a mugging, “are you sure you wallet was stolen?”

  • Indeniable Ron

    That settles it, I’m having fried clams and no-one’s gonna stop me!

    • Doug Langley

      I’ll get the can opener.

      • Lambsendbeds

        YOU MONSTER !!!1!1!!!1!

    • Lambsendbeds

      I love fried clams – why would I want to stop you. I’d like to come over for dinner, as a matter of fact.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Better hurry, they’re half eaten.

    • Michael R

      Before you decide , did you know you can get a whole chicken in a can ?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cdeef2fb8a5be0272a3b62f9718fa4acf141e0dc2267a0c4a2e8853edbe22cd8.gif

      • Shanzgood

        You can’t prove that’s actually a chicken.

      • TundraGrifter

        In my youth I ate a few canned chickens – North Star brand. A vessel loaded with cases of them came to grief on South Manitou Island in 1960.

        • Gosala

          Haven’t thought of this in years. Sound like your kind of folk.

          https://youtu.be/AjuBMs1ftOE

          • TundraGrifter

            Thank you! I don’t anybody is every going to write a ballad about the wreck of the Francisco Morazán – but it’s an interesting story. Probably insurance fraud, although the captain’s pregnant wife was aboard on Lake Michigan in November.

      • The KGB Ate Our Votes
        • theCryptofishist

          I didn’t know that inflatable sex dolls came in chicken!

          • Indeniable Ron

            You get them from a cabinet at the back of your local TSC, along with the Love Ewe.

      • Jesse

        Chicken with a side of botulism, delicious!

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        In the 1960’s and 70’s, those canned chickens were something that might show up on the dinner table on the day before payday. Usually mixed in with canned, chopped potatoes, and delightfully referred to as “hash”. …My mother was a good cook, and needed to squeeze a nickel out of a penny, but the Wednesday night meal before payday was even beyond her skill set sometimes.

        • Shanzgood

          God, I hope payday was Thursday.

      • Indeniable Ron

        NOW I do, though I wish I didn’t.

      • Dg Hacket

        Even the dog wouldn’t eat it

      • tehbaddr

        You should ALWAYS choose to go w/ canned clams!

        • Shanzgood

          No. I bought some and my cat wouldn’t even eat them.

          • tehbaddr

            Would your cat eat that caned chuck? Probably so.

          • Shanzgood

            What’s that? Dog food?

    • tehbaddr

      To bad HoJo’s doesn’t exist anymore. Any one here remember their clam night and the “Clam Sandwich”?

      • Indeniable Ron

        Eyup. HoJos is where my passion for the crunchy/rubbery li’l things developed, back when the family did all their travelling in a 58 Mercury.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Sashineb

    And, is that “gay conversion therapy” the type that’s offered by (and which obviously worked so well for) LadyBird Bachmann??

  • TundraGrifter

    “…Husband to @Beth1027.” Makes me wonder what happened to Beth01 to Beth1026.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just when you think you’ve seen it all: #BadThingsToStuffInATurkey is trending on Twitter.

    • Swampgas_Man

      “My Dick” better be in the top five.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Why, they might show that he was in touch with and advising the Trump campaign or something.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        I am totally stealing this in my reply to that asshole. Thanks honey!

    • RobKanC

      Transparency for thee. Not for me.

    • Jesse

      “We open governments, but don’t try that shit on us!”

    • Michael R

      Does the embassy have copies of everything he does ?

    • “In this case, I’m not a public figure, subject to public scrutiny. In all other cases, I am.”

    • Sheepshagger

      “It is impossible to correct abuses unless we know that they’re going on.”

      Julian Assange.

    • CripesAmighty

      Says the guy driving the garbage truck down I-40 at 100 mph with the dump chute open.

  • calliecallie

    Hey, open thread! Hubby watching the sportsball and I cooked up the remains of a pork tenderloin carnitas-style, served with corn tortillas, cilantro, pico de gallo and a squeeze of lime. Yummy.

    Now for a little cognac.

  • Michael R

    Isn’t open thread just asking for trouble ?
    Raquel Welch & Bob Hope Sing and Act Out Rocky Raccoon

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBg3tq4Hrx8&t=5m22s

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Pretty bad, but not worse than that song deserves IMO.

    • Doug Langley

      I saw a lot of Bob Hope when I was young and couldn’t decide if he was a good actor or good comedian or what. Now I look at him and think, dear god how overrated.

      He also whined a lot about paying taxes, even though he needed a damn truck to take home his pay.

    • theCryptofishist

      Painful sexual innuendos, and probable source of some lame sexual office harassment jokes there…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • What about straight sodomy? What does that do?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Makes me happy?

      • phoenix00

        Gets you elected President.

      • notaten

        If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.

      • Sheepshagger

        It makes your whole week.

      • The Wanderer

        It can add six inches to a foot to your vertical jump.

      • Doug Langley

        Turns you to salt.

        • theCryptofishist

          Not if you don’t turn around.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Looks more a grimace to me.

    • The Wanderer

      If homosexual sodomy ‘destroys,’ you’ve been doing it wrong.

    • Blackest Noobs

      you know someone who practices the arts of homosexality. i hear from Republicans, some are really really really good…good enough to make straight married guys do gay guy stuff….crazy…I KNOW…but those homosexualists ARE that fucking ( ha ha pun) good.

    • Ninja0980

      Damn…I’ve never gotten invited to a LGBT mafia media.
      I feel left out:(

    • Indeniable Ron

      Maybe he meant ‘homosexualEST.’ As in, who is the homosexualest person you know?

  • notaten

    My cat, Rita, judging me because I’ve been out in the front yard, drinking beer all afternoon: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3aae0327d68feefa5dfe104e1d23db558aad6b229d4e2ac4becdbabec6334bbe.jpg

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Rita has naught but contempt for your beersot ways.

    • Parakeetist

      Meow

    • phoenix00

      I think she wanted some of that beer too.

      • theCryptofishist

        Maybe she’s puzzled by the ornamental doors in the middle of the room. Although, if she’s turning up her nose at Charles, she’s snobbier than she should be. (Who am I kidding–I’m talking about a cat.)

    • Alternative Dog

      Looks to me like she’s saying “you’ll never guess what I was doing when you were outside.”

    • Blackest Noobs

      and that’s a bad thing how?

  • Swampgas_Man

    Open Thread: it’s official– I’ve switched from Netflix streaming to Hulu. It’ll help next year when I don’t have cable.

    • Beelzebubba

      Satellite? Fiber-optic?
      I’ve never quite understood talk about “cutting the cable”: you need an ISP, and all of them are rip-offs.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Damn man, I just want to get away from Comcast!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And as long as we’re sharing, I’ve finally got some good news: the fucking knee injury that hurt like hell and kept me from running for nearly three months is finally gone! Ran today pain-free, though my legs are a little sore. IDGAF–I’m just glad I’m moving again. To celebrate, I’m going to catch up with the issues of Runner’s World that I couldn’t bear to look at when I couldn’t run. BBL, good Wonkers!

    • Congrats on being healthy again!

    • Indeniable Ron

      Good news!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You’ll be in your bunk?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Woot!! Yay, knee!!

  • Juan de Fuca

    Piggybacking off Robyn’s earlier post about Bill O’Neill – he’s offered an apology to all the haters out there:

    “If I offended anyone, particularly the wonderful women in my life, I apologize. But if I have helped elevate the discussion on the serious issues of sexual assault, as opposed to personal indiscretions, to a new level…I make no apologies,” O’Neill wrote on his Facebook. “Suggesting the admitted conduct of Senator Al Franken and the alleged conduct of Judge Roy Moore are on the same level trivializes the serious subject at hand.”

    Bill, you really should’ve stopped at “Speaking on behalf of all heterosexual males”.

    http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2017/11/bill_oneill_offers_apology_for.html

    • I’m sorry, but attempting to shift the conversation to “I’ve had a LOT of hot snatch!” elevates the discussion in what way, now?

      • Covfefe

        When the hot snatch comes out of the woodwork, O’Neill can say he’s already admitted it.

      • Juan de Fuca

        As my aunt used to say “That guy is a piece of work.”

      • theCryptofishist

        Maybe he meant “elevate the spirits of my potential opponents, and cause much merriment everywhere.”

    • Beelzebubba

      He should have stopped before that.

  • richardgrabman

    Something is missing from the story, or the prosecutor was over-reaching. The age of consent in Oklahoma is 16. Prostitution maybe, but unless there was something else discovered, hard to see how child pornography came into this.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Over charging to get a plea deal is a thing.

      • notaten

        Yeah, a friend of mine got busted for having a couple of weed plants, but they threatened him with kiddy porn because he had a picture of his niece in a splash pool, wearing a bikini (she was 3). He pleaded guilty to the weed, because THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE PICTURE OF THE KID IN THE KIDDY POOL, it was sweet and innocent and not weird at all. Better to be known as the pot head.

    • Alternative Dog

      Me thinks that 17-year-old isn’t the only child involved in this matter. Who knows what they found on his phone or computer.

    • Beelzebubba

      Obviously, something was found on his hard drive, or in his possession, that merited the charge. The 17-year-old boy may have been the least of his problems. “Oklahoma jury” may have been his biggest worry.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Title 18, US federal law?

      Images of child pornography are not protected under First Amendment rights, and are illegal contraband under federal law. Section 2256 of Title 18, United States Code, defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (someone under 18 years of age).

      https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/citizens-guide-us-federal-law-child-pornography

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      http://newsok.com/article/5562997

      “He received “hundreds of pornography emails and communications with individuals encountered via Craigslist,” according to the FBI.”

      • richardgrabman

        Somehow I missed that part, which wasn’t real clear from the post here.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • Doug Langley

      The James Bond movies, where the bad guy tries to hide his scheme, seem so quaint now.

      • Indeniable Ron

        .No, Mr Bond, I expect you to lose your health insurance.’

        • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

          From Russia with a fresh set of puppet strings.

      • bupkus231

        I just looked it up – the yacht in “Thunderball” ( the first James Bond flick I remember seeing ) was 109.75 feet. This monstrosity is 533 feet.

        Fucking “Arleigh Burke”-class destroyers in the USNavy are only 510 feet – and this thing is owned by an individual????

        • Doug Langley

          Fun fact: Thunderball won an Oscar for Special Effects.

        • theCryptofishist

          I think that Putin is an individual, a corporation, and a law of the sea unto himself. Lots of fringe on that flag.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        There was a great thread on the Twatters matching Trumpers to Bond villains…
        https://twitter.com/KevinMKruse/status/930918835246551041

        • Doug Langley

          Brilliant!! I’d offer this one: Melania Trump – Fatima Blush.

  • Sheepshagger

    Much as I appreciate the sentiment I just can’t see this helping. https://twitter.com/tatatfender/status/931904703348334592

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘Are you still suffering from PTSD?’
      ‘NO! NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!’

      • Sheepshagger

        In heaven…..everything is fine

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Is it me, or does that look like a horror movie set?

    • TootsStansbury

      David Lynch? Like Eraserhead David Lynch?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I think I still have PTSD from that film.

        • theCryptofishist

          Lifelong drowsiness, in my case.

      • Sheepshagger

        Sometimes he creates is, sometimes he cures it.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    So is Putin having Thanksgiving dinner with the donnie?

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/932020104623284224

    • Blackest Noobs

      oooh just like Lex and Deathstroke….oooh sorry….spoilers….weird.. movie world and real world mirror each other in weird unexpected ways

    • Gosala

      Thanksgiving dinner of Donnie.

      • Shanzgood

        Crumbly turkey breast, ketchup-based stuffing, and canned ceranberry sauce. Special appearance by Popeye’s mashed potatoes and gravy.

        Someone else needs to cover dessert because I need to go vomit now.

    • Shanzgood

      JFC they could be photographed having sex together while gunning down EVERYONE on 5th avenue.

      AND then what?

      • Resistor Radio

        And then we’d ask about Hillary.

        • Shanzgood

          *sigh*

      • jesterpunk

        Cillizza would write an article asking why Hillary didnt stop it?

      • Bobathonic

        The murders would begin?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      That’s a Bond villain dinghy if there ever was one. The hold is full of giant radioactive squid.

      • theCryptofishist

        Ooooh. Do they have a newsletter I could subscribe to? Do they need rescuing?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Sharks with fricken laser beams?

        • theCryptofishist

          Orcnadoes?

    • TootsStansbury

      I wish I still had my boat. I’d rename her the African Queen.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ve been on Naval ships that were smaller. Seriously.

      • Shanzgood

        They probably cost more, though.

        • Resistor Radio

          Bet this one has as much firepower, too

          • Doug Langley

            I’ve only been on research vessels. Couple of pistols in the locker, that was it for armaments. This behemoth could just run over the survey ships without noticing.

          • Resistor Radio

            Now see, you’re totally disillusioning me. I picture all research facilities/vessels with flamethrowers for possible The Thing situations.

          • Doug Langley

            Well, I mean under normal conditions. Now if they knew they’d be surveying in Giant Kraken territory, they’d outfit with the plasma cannons.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I’ve been on everything from a nuclear sub to the USS Enterprise (Navy brat :-).

        Navy ships, they come in all of the sizes.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Just another shipboard romance on the Russian version of the love boat.

      • Resistor Radio

        Russian Julie can pee on demand, though.

    • jesterpunk

      Who brings the chocolate cake?

    • Alternative Dog

      I’ll bet there are more eavesdropping devices trained on that ship than on the Kremlin.

      • TootsStansbury

        Yeah, by the EU, maybe.

      • Shanzgood

        *rips headphones off*

        What?

    • Indeniable Ron

      Oh, for a good snorkel and a big drill…

  • hudson
    • CripesAmighty

      Glad he’s not around to see this shit.

      • Vienna Woods

        He?

      • Shanzgood

        Indira was a woman.

        • CripesAmighty

          Oops. Was thinking Mahatma. Guess one oughta do the math and look at the pic, huh?

          • Shanzgood

            👍🏻

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I thought you were talking about JFK. Derp.

    • TootsStansbury

      What could have been. This is when the universes parted.

      • hudson

        She had an authoritarian streak especially during the second half of her tenure. But she did have the balls to stand up to Nixon & Kissinger and do the right thing.

  • Resistor Radio

    Nothing like coming home to find the power out. GRRRRRR. Maybe I should ask Santa for a generator.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/Mediaite/status/931985305879613440?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
    So Tameron Hall and now Thomas Roberts have gotten the ax from MSNBC in a favor of a white woman and a straight white man.
    Sorry, not going to tune into shows that are Fox lite.

  • Resistor Radio

    Is it bitchy and high maintenance for me to ask you guys to entertain me since my power is out?

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/932030944898375681
    She sold her soul for $$$, simple as that.
    That or she figures since she was able to deal with all the crap she went through, other women have to suck it up too.
    Either way, she’s scum.

  • HereForTheSnark

    “Trust me . . . this will not be ignored nor swept aside,” replied Perkins…“It will be dealt with swiftly, but with prudence.”

    Prudence: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/167ddd6104cff157d69b750d41d5730d0ee6576db775a206aa7a7a1c2e8629b0.jpg

    • Resistor Radio

      Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play?

      • Bobathonic

        Sprang right to mind.

        • Resistor Radio

          It’s earworming me right now

          • Blanche de Shambles

            I hope at least it’s the best version:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6rrTROoZIw

          • Bobathonic

            Well first it was the moptops, but now it’s Siouxsie. Another of my former future ex-partners.

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s the one!

  • theCryptofishist

    Please, please, please–Let this bring down Perkins, too.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    At a family wedding. They do vows, and it’s very sweet. Spouse asks if I remember our vows. I do. I was still in the service and we got married while I was on leave.
    The Judge who married us was the sternest in the circuit. We’d both practiced before him and he liked us. He still read us our vows like he was giving appeal rights in a criminal case. It was not the most romantic thing, but I still smile when I walk by that courteoom

    Cripes, now wife wants to dance

    • Shanzgood

      Awww! Congratulations!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Go dance with her, for heaven’s sakes. It’s a nice thing that she wants to dance with you.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Haha, we did :).

        • BloviateMe

          I hope it wasn’t Lambada, as I hear that’s the forbidden dance.

          Forbidden.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Awwww….. good. You apparently picked a peach.

    • TootsStansbury

      Dance like nobody is looking!

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Manly men at the height of our manliness do not dance!

        (Unless our wives ask- important caveat)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’m so pleased for you that your wife WANTS to dance with you.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    https://twitter.com/BlogsofWar/status/932038739832049664

    This would finally allow Jared to spend more quality time with his attorneys.

    • Resistor Radio

      Or Ivanka’s Spotify playlist

      • Bobathonic

        Ew

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You mean Trudeau’s Spotify playlist…

    • Indeniable Ron

      I’m impressed at how quickly he ‘solved’ the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, in the grand tradition of all of the current administration’s other ‘fixes.’

      • Boscoe

        “I don’t think middle east peace is as difficult as people have thought.”

  • Picabo

    “New Zealand’s prime minister shuts Trump down with a ‘joke’ about popularity”
    “Ms Ardern said that while in a conversation with other world leaders, President Trump made a joke about her becoming prime minister – having been chosen by New Zealand First to lead the country after securing fewer votes than the National Party

    ‘He made a side comment that I had upset a lot of people,’ she said.

    ‘I think it was in jest over the fact that it was perhaps a surprise win, I can’t be sure.

    ‘I pointed out that no-one had marched over my election to office,’ she told Sky News, while laughing about the exchange.”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5dc0a2cabc153e146da709de41b38b2c65d64e4f1e49a4da404374d046dd1701.jpg

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Who cares about Trump. I want to see Jacindamania meet Trudeaumania and the hottie universe collide.

      • Parakeetist

        Boom

  • theCryptofishist

    So, how’s Trump going to fuck up the turkey pardon?

    • jesterpunk

      He will pardon Jr instead?

      • theCryptofishist

        To be fair, there aren’t a lot of differences between Jr. and a turkey.

        • Resistor Radio

          Turkeys look more natural in the woods

        • jesterpunk

          Turkeys are not dumb enough to tweet out proof of treason multiple times?

          • theCryptofishist

            True, but they are both dry and tasteless.

          • Red Richmond

            Speak for your own turkey, mine is delicious and the leftovers eventually make for an amazing turkey noodle soup. Doofus jr. I wouldn’t eat if it was a choice between him or week old roadkill.

        • TootsStansbury

          Has anyone ever seen his dumbass progeny in the rain?

          • theCryptofishist

            Have they ever been in the rain? Or are they that sheltered?

        • ManchuCandidate

          No dark meat in Jr.

          • BloviateMe

            I’m glad we don’t reduce ourselves to prison sex jokes, because that comment is a meatball just hanging over the plate.

          • theCryptofishist

            Okay, if Jr. gets prison time, remind me to rescind my upfist.

        • Arolpin

          I’m not sure that I really believe that turkeys as so stupid they will look up at the rain and drown themselves. I’m totally sure that Jr has to have a minder every time he takes a shower.

    • Resistor Radio

      Anyone taking bets on whether or not he actually does it?

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        I’m not sure if he will actually do it, but if he does, my bet is that he will use it as yet another occasion to make inappropriate or snide remarks about Hillary or Obama or the Press or the Haters & Losers or….

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          (…insert random uppity minority here)

          • SisterArtemis

            ME! me me me me !!!!!

    • TootsStansbury

      If he does it, he will manage to fuck it up. Everything he touches turns to shit.

    • Alternative Dog

      Someone said the other day that he’s going to take all the turkeys that Obama pardoned and slaughter them live on TV.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      He’ll pardon the Turkish thugs who beat up protesters.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      He’ll borrow Lou Sarah’s turkey chipper?

    • KnaveOfSwords

      Someone beat me to that joke.

      • theCryptofishist

        It happens, alas.

    • Resistor Radio
      • BloviateMe

        That’s a can’t-miss, right there.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        They were frozen, amirite?

      • Old Nick

        Turkey bowling
        Christopher Moore, in You Suck

        • Resistor Radio

          That was my favorite part of that book!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      He’s not just gonna turkey, no siree.

      WaPo:

      The White House says the first family will also donate two packaged turkeys to the charity Martha’s Table in Washington. Trump is set to spend the Thanksgiving holiday at his Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach, Florida.

      Two entire motherfucking turkeys! Wow, o’ wow, ain’t that sumthin’!

  • Dazza

    Bah. I’m bored with the geopolitical crises of 2017 – time for a geophysics threat. The rotation of the earth is slowing (by a few milliseconds) and this promises to unleash serious seismic shocks.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/18/2018-set-to-be-year-of-big-earthquakes

    Yikes!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/11a2ddf58992c7ef8f08b282549aa8c2d25dabeada66d99dcc26a63b47515cf1.jpg

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “The planet will be fine. The people are fucked!” -George Carlin (PBUH)

      • Indeniable Ron

        Yup. Nothing humans can do will affect an 8000 mile diameter ball of rock. Though they can make a real mess of the skin.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          …and the various species living on it, including their own.

        • Resistor Radio

          Hey did you ever post the pics you promised?

          • Indeniable Ron

            Still waiting for them to show up in my In box

        • Old Nick

          I once did a little arithmetic and was surprised to find that the earth, mountains, trenches and all, is smoother than an orange. Not much humans can do even to the skin.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Azzedine Alaia dead at 77. An openly gay and proud man who made some of the most beautiful clothes of the 1980s.

    • Shanzgood

      I’m sorry he died but I’m not…I mean, I remember that I wore clothes in the 80s and…not sure.

      • Resistor Radio

        I wore a lot of neon in the eighties

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He made very beautiful dresses that kind of looked like they were made out of bandages. All the supermodels loved him.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Let’s say it again, cause it never stops being true

    It’s always projection with these assholes

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      As I always say, projecting more than an IMAX theater showing movies on the surface of the moon.

      (Which would actually be kind of awesome if it was a real thing.)

  • aktlib101
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      TL;DR regular people are fucked

      • tehbaddr

        Should we be sharpening some common household items, for when the time comes?

    • bupkus231

      Look at this – and remember how the heirs to the Wal-mart fortune have benefitted under the laws current at the time – even being subject to the “death tax”.

      And the GOP wants to make it easier to create more oligarchs? Even they must be subject to the delusion that they might once be such….

    • Parakeetist

      Shorter version: fuck this shit.

    • Seek

      You have to admit. That’s some damn good ROI

  • bupkus231

    Just saw this, from the Rev. William Barber

    Link: https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/unbearable-hypocrisy-roy-moore-s-christian-rhetoric-ncna821921

    …This is not Christianity. Rather, it is an extreme Republican religionism that stands by party and regressive policy no matter what. It’s not the gospel of Christ, but a gospel of greed. It is the religion of racism and lies, not the religion of redemption and love.

    It is unlikely that any of Moore’s accusers can definitively prove that he sexually assaulted them 30 years ago (a point the defiant former judge knows well). But even before these allegations made national headlines, it was clear that Moore’s policy agenda endangered the children of Alabama and this nation. This man, who wants to be Alabama’s next Senator, wants to repeal Obamacare, making it health care inaccessible for millions, in Alabama and elsewhere. He has said Islam is a “false religion” homosexual conduct “should be illegal.” and curtail equal protection under the law for gay and transgender people. Moore supports a tax plan that would hurt the poor and working poor.

    In short, Moore’s political agenda presents a credible threat to millions of vulnerable people in America. Yet Moore claims to be the moral and Christian candidate, using religion as U.S. slave masters did before him to justify actions which fly in the face of Christ’s teachings. Like segregationists, Moore imagines the struggle for equality in America as a story of loss. At a revival meeting earlier this week, Moore complained that he was being persecuted. He also lamented the fact that the courts took prayer out of schools in 1962 and made a cryptic and confusing reference to “new rights” created in 1965, the year the Voting Rights Act was signed. Some members of the congregation responded, “Amen!”…

    and,

    …There is nothing Christian about the policies Moore has supported. They are as immoral as the terrible abuse he so vehemently denies. While he wants to compare his plight to the suffering of Jesus, there is no biblical basis for policies that hurt poor people and children…

    I’m probably already over the “limit” for citing from another published source ( “fair-use doctrine ), so please go and read the whole thing. Rev. Barber should be one of most important voices in the resistance to Trumpism and the depredations of the modern-day “conservative” in this country – no matter your “religious leanings”….

    • CripesAmighty

      Last sane man in NC.

    • TootsStansbury

      I admire Rev. Barber a great deal. One of the best moral voices of our age.

    • Covfefe

      Testimony is a form of proof. He said, she said times what, seven or eight? So far?

  • Shanzgood

    Ok, time to do dinner things.

  • Alternative Dog
    • Boscoe

      Hey, you don’t know, Cindy might live to be 247! That $700 could really add up!

    • therblig

      wow! that’s more than $13 a week. i see a bright, bright future for cindy,

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Hahahahahahahahaha. Ryan has no clue how little money $30k is.

      • therblig

        yeah, but cindy is sitting on an extra kidney, lung, and cornea. the new bill exempts organ sales from federal taxation. ka-ching!!!

      • OrG

        Oooooooor….he’s lying.

    • bbayliss

      Seven hunnert bucks! Start shoppin’ for yer private plane, it’s tax deductable.

    • altleftjohn
    • jesterpunk

      Cindy needs to borrow a million from her parents then she can retire.

      • therblig

        borrow? doesn’t her parents’ house have stairs?

    • BloviateMe

      Careful Cindy, people will kill for that kind of scratch.

    • Count Awesome

      Under the GOP tax plan that $700 will wind up being spent on her copay for doctor visits.

      • BloviateMe

        She can splurge on like, TWO epipens!

        Fancy.

    • Alternative Dog

      I thought the Arrested Development reference was the pièce de résistance.

    • mancityRed6

      I swear that Ryan would be the dumbest motherfucker on the face of god’s green earth, but then I remember the rest of the (R)s

      • Amy!

        I think the reason he has such a reputation as a budget geek is because he only hangs out with Republicans.

        • Count Awesome

          Budget geek my ass. He’s a fiscal sadist.

          • Amy!

            Sure. But he can count to thirteen without taking off his shoes or unzipping his fly. Ergo: R-Budget Geek.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I always wonder if Ryan’s dumb enough to believe his own BS.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nah, the guys at Vox are amazingly determined to think he’s a wonk. It’s the brotherhood of the third base maternity ward.

          • Amy!

            Stealing “brotherhood of the third base maternity ward.” Incredibly apt description of the mutual congratulation society of the kids born with tongues blackened by the tarnish on their spoons.

    • hudson

      until her rotors give away or she needs new break pads or tires.

      side note: while her car is being fixed she has to take lost pay because she cannot go to work, since taking public transit for a 30 min commute is a 2 hr ordeal and she cannot get in time anyways, because public transport does not start soon enough.

      basically this means, she isn’t really making the princely sum of 30K to begin with.

      • Indeniable Ron

        But she’s being taxed on it, of course.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        Or her child gets sick and she has to take 3 unpaid days off from work because day care providers won’t take sick kids. Or the price of gas goes up $.30 a gallon and food prices go up 4%….or she needs to buy a new computer…or her landlord raises the rent…or…..

        All of these GOP assholes need to spend 30 days living on minimum wage or close to it. Does anybody remember this SNAP challenge? (My Congressman is Jim McGovern, a hero when it comes to food insecurity, among other issues):

        “In June 2013, more than two dozen House Democrats, including McGovern, took part in a SNAP challenge, feeding themselves for a week on the average benefit level of a SNAP recipient. Participants agreed to eat all meals from a limited food budget comparable to that of a SNAP participant, approximately $1.50 per meal, or $4.50 a day.

        http://www.telegram.com/article/20130613/NEWS/106139885

        • hudson

          my sis talks about daycare not taking sick kids. boggles my mind.

          in anycase, what boggles mind more, is people who have no idea of the range of issues ordinary folks face, and zero interest in understanding or concerns, dictating from a perch. what is worse is significant % of us looking up to these guys.

          completely agree these guys need to spend 1 month trying to live the lives we live. before they go on sucking at the teat of theoretic.

          • BillEGoatSmirk

            I volunteer at a food pantry. It’s heartbreaking when you realize what these folks cobble together just to survive. Grandparents on disability or SS who are caring for multiple grandkids because of their own kids’ lives wrecked by opioids, and limited treatment availability; multiple elderly and disabled folks living together to pool limited resources; part-time working moms who wonder how to feed the kids during school vacations and summer break when subsidized breakfast and lunch is not an option….
            The anger that I feel toward Ryan and his cronies is visceral. This is the stuff of revolutions. If we won’t care for our most vulnerable – the elderly, the disabled, children, the sick, (and animals too) – what kind of society are we?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He forgot to mention that in ten years Cindy’s taxes will go UP by 25%.

  • Count Awesome

    I guess these guys have a wider stance on this issue than they want to admit.

  • Picabo

    Today in history 1928, Mickey mouse makes his film debut in Steamboat Willie, the first animated talking picture.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/27236541a1243e60392d1b10a6ecc39a7792f468f7b3978b22564eb64286ca24.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      . . . and then, the murders began.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        ….and then, the murders copyright monopoly and conglomerate IP cannibalism began.

        • therblig

          in the happiest place on earth!

  • Boscoe

    Huh. It’s as if politicians were just craven lying cowards who’ll say anything and promote a totally manufactred image just to get their hands on that sweet, sweet power or something. Whooda thought…?

    • tehbaddr

      Sweet gig huh? If you have the no morals cunning to get it!

    • Count Awesome

      “I’m not an actor, except for when it’s time for you to vote for me.”

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    OT: so, I signed up for a gym the other day, because I want to tone up after having lost a considerable amount of poundage over the spring and summer. This is only day two there, and I’m still getting used to the place, the layout, the machines, etc. I had a pretty good workout, all things considered. But, I’m curious to know — is it “normal” to “feel” even flabbier after the workout? Or is it my mind playing tricks on me body-image wise, being impatient to see the results?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Yes. Don’t let it discourage you!

      • therblig

        you’ll be all “do you even lift, bro?” in no time!!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Haha. I look forward to it.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Thanks. I figured as much. It’s taken awhile to get used to this and, for psychological purposes, I don’t even bother looking at the scale anymore.

        • altleftjohn

          Good plan.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Been a while, but from memory… yes. Also, you should cycle through different muscle groups on different days and give yourself time to recover. If you work out all the time, you can actually get skinnier instead of building muscle.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        That’s what I did even yesterday, which was day 1. I tried out the ab machines and today was the legs. Sunday might be my requisite rest day (like the song says), but I’m thinking Monday I’ll work on the upper arms, torso area.

        • Resistor Radio

          There’s a great website, exrx.com that has a bunch of 2 and 3 day split workouts, with all the options for how to work each muscle group. It’s under the “exercise instruction” link. Really great resource.

          Welp, never mind. I used it for years but looks like the site is down.

        • Sheepshagger

          I’ve been doing push-ups every night and morning. Not many but I already notice the difference. I just imagine I’m in Full Metal Jacket and it becomes easy. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9a54efdbe313c5a0d60a2027523aa93ce175536dad3e825a5c99dca9552e0153.jpg

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Push-ups and planking are under-rated efficient core exercises.

            Also just squatting and lunges with or without dumbbells are good for legs.

            You can do a lot with almost no equipment if you have a little clear floor space.

          • Sheepshagger

            And I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Not always. I started working out to build up my endurance and I GAINED 15 pounds… most of which is still with me 18 years later.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          I went nuts once while working from home, and I would do 15 minute workouts of like 8 times a day.

          Wound up weighing 140 pounds and forcing myself to eat 3500 calories a day to avoid losing more weight.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Yeah, when you put in that sort of effort you need the extra calories so you don’t literally burn yourself out.

    • mancityRed6

      just remember, it takes at least 2 weeks to make a bad habit, even longer for a good one.

      • Resistor Radio

        I’ve been off cigarettes for over a week. Not that anyone was talking about that, I just wanted to insert myself into the conversation.

        • mancityRed6

          and bad habits take forever to break.
          I once quit for ex #1 for a year and 3 months. I only started up again after she started talking about getting pregnant.

          • Resistor Radio

            I quit for two years then started back up this summer.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            NOOOOO…you need to stop. Those things killed my father and my best friend.

          • Dinz6315

            I quit 27 years ago. I would rather quit narcotics again than quit smoking again. It was the hardest thing. Three cheers for anyone who does it. And I’ve read that the average smoker who quits takes half a dozen tries to get it done.

            Be kind to yourself

          • Resistor Radio

            I transitioned to the vape, so not off the nicotine yet but that’s the next step! Thank you, it’s a fucking bitch.

        • BloviateMe

          Quitting for the length of a plane ride is a major feat for me. Huzzah for you.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Good for you!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Good for you :)

        • Truthiness2U

          Good for you! If you feel you need it, there is support and materials you can use. Like making new habits, to do instead of the cigarette ones, because there are the physical and non-physical parts of the addiction. Like being used to have a cigarette/coffee in the morning, or smoking after meals, or when stressed.

          Also don’t be afraid of using nicotine replacement therapy, if you’re having physical parts of the addiction. Nicotine itself isn’t horrible for humans. Sure it can impact the blood pressure/heart because it’s a stimulant, but it’s not much stronger than caffeine. It’s the tobacco parts of tobacco that are so horrible for us as humans.

          Oh and it’s that the tobacco industry has spent a lot of time/money to make sure the nicotine is strong in tobacco products, and is delivered quickly to the dopamine receptors in the brain. Of course they did it. It always pisses me off those death merchants get to peddle their terrible products and pot is the illegal one. When a multitude of studies, lasting years! have proven no such links to health issues from marijuana, as they have for tobacco.

          Anyhew, you’re going great! and don’t stop trying to quit. The average is seven serious attempts to be successful, so don’t feel badly if you have slips, important thing it to learn from them, and get back to quitting.

          Oh and there are positive effects on the human body within 20 minutes and more within the first 24 hours of quitting! So I always tell people, that’s the good part. That while some things can’t be completely undone (like emphysema) some things can in repairing the lungs, and the sooner you can start quitting, the more chance your body has to heal :)

          Sorry for the book, but helping people quit is literally my job and I’m always thrilled when people are able to do it. Yay you!!

          • Resistor Radio

            I appreciate the support, and all the information! Thank you!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        My mother said she read somewhere 30 days to make a habit, good or bad. Two weeks sounds more like it, though. Somewhere in that range.

        At least this is a good one. Sure beats “sheet-caking”.

    • altleftjohn

      You’re doing the right thing. Just keep at it. Two workouts will turn into four, then eight, etc. Pretty soon you’ll start to notice a difference.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Thanks for the encouragement!

    • Indeniable Ron

      You’re ‘flabby’ because your muscles are tired. Eventually that stops happening.

    • Toledo Window Box

      It’s like doing a major dietary change – takes a few days for your body to figure out what’s going on.

  • jesterpunk
  • Picabo
    • Parakeetist

      Yay

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Vive la Bard-ette de Canada.

    • altleftjohn

      When are the Swedes going to get off their asses and give her the Nobel?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I still find “The Handmaid’s Tale” disturbing and brilliant.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was reading it in 1992, right around the time of Pat Buchanan’s famous “better in the original German” speech at the GOP convention. I really saw the writing on the wall with those evangelicals, for the first time, after reading that book.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Me too. Damn, it was disturbing then. And more so now.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Finally getting around to reading her collection ‘Wilderness Tips.’ My gods, the woman can write.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Count Awesome

      Fredo libelz.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      The Flynns, also too.

    • Toledo Window Box

      He always struck me as more of a Sonny, the incompetent emotional hothead.

    • I think Jr. had better be careful if Ivanka “forgives” him….

    • Jamoche

      Who would ever guess that Eric, while arguably the stupidest of the bunch, was also the only one to avoid the Dunning-Kruger effect: he knows he’s stupid and that nobody will really want to talk to him, whether they’re Russian agents or random trolls.

      • SDGeoff3

        He may be the one to drive the bus over his family after all.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Just got the new Time Magazine in the mail. This week they have a pretty damn nice cover photo of our other favorite Francophone leader. (Inside is a photo of Macron with his black lab named Nemo. Aww.)

    https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/macron-cover-final.jpg?w=280&quality=85&h=373

    Put that skeptical asterisk of doubt away, Time. Le Kid isn’t going anywhere, except to mon bunk with that magazine.

    • hudson

      bullshit. when it comes to competency and vision, merkel will eat this guy’s lunch and wash it down with a hefeweizen, even before this guy ties his tie in the morning.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Helles FALSCHKEIT!!!!!1ELF!!!!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I don’t think they’re in competition with each other, more like colleagues — especially with the clusterfuck that is Brexit looming on the horizon, Spain in chaos and Poland and others in Central and Eastern Europe making a sharp turn right. Merkel has seniority and experience, and is the current leader of the free world, full stop. Trudeau is the deputy. Macron, the new kid in town, is the junior partner. Minus Trudeau (the current leader of North America, since Mexico is in shambles thanks to America, which is now a de facto colony of Russia), that leaves Macron as deputy leader of Europe. Hence, the “next” leader.

        • hudson

          i see what you mean.

          but insha martin luther himself (as racist as he was), i don’t see anybody bettering merkel, and visionary folks like her. the turks and the poles will be exposed for their sclerosis and EU will move on.

          i don’t see any sustainable situation where the english or the french dictating universal norms . not when they don’t see them doing any of the hard work and when bastards like churchill are heros.

  • And I recommend that you
    Stop watching the news
    Because the news contrives to frighten you
    To make you feel small and alone
    To make you feel that your mind isn’t your own

    that’ll do morrissey. that’ll do.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Love that song!

    • Old Nick

      Blow up your TV
      Throw away your papers
      Move to the country
      Build you a home

      John Prine

  • therblig

    nj gunhumpers gearing up for action. the next 2 years are going to be sad for the moron labes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=85&v=6b_SjrtgN2Y

    • mancityRed6

      JFC. “they’re coming for your guns! how will you defend your family against the NJ devil?”

      • Indeniable Ron

        I thought Christie was term limited?

        • therblig

          he is. he’s done. and since he locked up jared’s scumbag daddy, he won’t be moving to dc. and since he’s so fucking unpopular, he won’t be getting that sports radio job. and since he’s seen as a rino, he won’t be hired by fox. i see him doing real estate closings in morris county for the rest of his miserable life.

          • jesterpunk

            Didnt he lose the sports job for being an asshole and attacking callers?

          • therblig

            pretty much.

        • mancityRed6

          yeah, but don’t go walking in the woods at night with a bucket of chicken, that’s all I’m saying

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Christie’s popularity is so low, he couldn’t get re-elected even if he wasn’t term limited.

        • Michael R
          • Toledo Window Box

            He looks like he needs a good Three Stooges -style double eye poke right here.

      • Even Mulder doesn’t believe in the Jersey Devil

        • theCryptofishist

          Poor Jersey Devil. Yeti and Chupacadres are so snarky every time he walks into Way Out There Lounge. Even Mothman snickers–if he’s not stalking the lights.

    • Stinky_Hole

      He has absolutely no contact with other men other than the internet.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Resistor Radio
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “The man at the center of the story is Aleksander Torshin, who is the deputy head of Russia’s central bank, a major Trump fan, and a stalwart ally of Vladimir Putin. He has also been accused by Spanish police of being a mafia “godfather,” which he denies, as one would.

    Torshin did not email the campaign directly in May 2016; instead, his request came through a message from Christian-issues advocate Rick Clay to campaign aide Rick Dearborn, who is now a White House deputy chief of staff. According to the Times’ sources, Clay’s email to Dearborn “suggests Torshin was seeking to meet with a high-level Trump campaign official” during an NRA convention in Louisville that Trump was attending. The emails also implied that Torshin might have been carrying a message from Putin himself.

    Kushner exchanged emails with Dearborn before ultimately deciding to nix the meeting.

    “Pass on this,” Kushner responded, according to a letter his lawyer, Abbe Lowell, sent to the Senate Judiciary Committee Friday evening. “A lot of people come claiming to carry messages. Very few we are able to verify. For now I think we decline such meetings.”

    Nevertheless, Torshin scored a consolation prize: a seat at a dinner Donald Trump Jr. attended during the Louisville convention.(On Saturday, Trump Jr.’s lawyer said he spoke with Torshin at the event, but that they were not seated together.)”

    I wonder if it kills Dotard Jr. that even the Russians know he’s not daddy’s favorite?

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/11/russian-backdoor-overture-to-kushner-involved-putin-ally.html

    • theCryptofishist

      My takeaway? NRA is the gateway to treason.

    • Sheepshagger

      Torshin was apparently very tied up in the Tambov mafia and its expansion into Spain. Some extreme dirtiness there.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The Trumps only hang out with the best people.

    • Toledo Window Box

      “Dotard Jr.” is hilarious and should be the only thing that man is called.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’d like to give credit where it’s due, but I’m not sure who invented it.

        I did give Lindsey Graham the nickname “Miss Lindsey” though.

        • Toledo Window Box

          She wears it well.

    • OrG

      He’s too stupid to know.

  • Zyxomma

    Robyn, the past tense of plead (pronounced pleed) is pled (rhymes with bed). And you meant illicit, not elicit, which is another thing entirely. Otherwise, great reading on every level.

    • Toledo Window Box

      As in I’m gonna plead my plea and then it will be pled?

    • Rick Hill

      But what tense is is when you plead the bed? Answer that Smarty pants

      • Juan de Fuca

        A Russian collusion investigation?

        • Rick Hill

          That’s pretty tense

    • BloviateMe

      Jesus weeped.

      • Rick Hill

        RR meeped

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Seeped what he rowed

      • Zyxomma

        That’s hilarious.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Once again, I should have scrolled down.

    • Charles Insandiego

      No it ain’t. ” the U.S. Supreme Court has used “pleaded” in more than 3,000 opinions and “pled” in only 26—and in some of those instances the court was quoting others.” http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/is_it_pleaded_or_pled

      • Zyxomma

        Yes, but Robyn didn’t use pleaded, she used plead twice (it doesn’t rhyme with led, and it’s present tense). Thanks.

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1909, Johnny Mercer. A local favorite here in Savannah. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/140a3e5995737706059a291638dee13a31de0a562f0a21bfa4f7ea98c4e9dea4.jpg

    • therblig

      don’t mess with mister in-between!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I liked K.D. Lang’s version of “Skylark” from Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil. (Which is going to be very difficult to watch now that the Kevin Spacey/Jude Law relationship takes on a whole new meaning IRL.)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lEEKInKbIw

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I prefer to accentuate the positive.

    • CripesAmighty
    • Old Nick

      Mandy is two. Billie Holiday. A song of innocence.

  • Joe Beese

    Justice League will probably not supplant whatever your favorite superhero movie is. But I found it a lot more enjoyable than the Rotten Tomatoes reviews would have suggested. And if you can tolerate having a “WHEDON” sign light up in your brain on the many occasions when his script touches are obvious – and a “SNYDER” sign light up when the camera ogles Gal Gadot’s ass – I think you may too.

    And as with Wonder Woman, the Amazons are far-and-away the best thing in it.

    • I am seeing Ragnarok again tomorrow.

    • BloviateMe

      The wife and I are finally getting around to watching Wonder Woman tonight, I’m pumped to watch it.

  • CW

    You know what we’re not about to do? Rehash the godforsaken Clinton scandals in real time, 20 years after they ended. We’re got a gangster fascist and his family to dislodge.

    • Resistor Radio

      For real. Anyone bringing up Bill Clinton right now can hush right up.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        They can Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Ten-Four

    • altleftjohn

      What about Warren Harding and Grover Cleveland!?!?

      • You mean Tea Pot Dome?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Harding? My favorite quote about Harding.

        “He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.”

        Mencken.

      • jesterpunk

        Did you know FDR was in a wheelchair and the press hid that from everyone?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yes. Actually.

          • jesterpunk

            Why isnt anyone talking about this huge scandal?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Maybe because it was 70+ years ago? Just a guess.

          • jesterpunk

            But we are supposed to bring up old scandals and get mad about them or something.

    • Stinky_Hole

      But according to that woman on “Weekend All Things Considered”, ‘feminists’ and ‘the liberal left’ must hold him to account. We must wring our hands and rend our garments and tear the Democratic Party to bits to atone or we’re no better than the Republicans.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I find paying no attention to those silly people works well.

      • CripesAmighty

        These NPR whispering people are probably all too young to have actually lived through the Arkansas Project/Jonah/Lucianne Goldberg Starr chamber Clusterfuck that went on for fucking EVER! No. Not doing that again.

        • Blanche Beecham

          Glad someone said it out loud.

        • Stinky_Hole

          And that’s just it -we remember what all went on, but that knowledge is either ignored or unknown to these people.
          What can we do to Bill Clinton to make things right? What?

      • CW

        I’m going to hand out hair shirts and cilices at the 2020 Democratic Convention.

  • Resistor Radio

    YAYYYYYYYYY!

    The power just came back on! :)

    • altleftjohn

      Molotov.

    • Blanche Beecham

      I hate when the power is out. So glad the modern world has returned.

      • Robyn Ryan

        Grids are too fragile for an electronic driven world.
        Miles of power lines are kind of asking for disaster.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          We could have solar, wind, and Tesla batteries, but no, we have to think of the old-energy companies… won’t someone please think of the old-energy companies???

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I think it’s exciting. Living by your wits, using your problem-solving skills, experiencing the sensation of being forced to adapt to changing paradigms… then the lights come back on and all that knowledge goes down the garbage disposal…until next time…when you will outwit, outlast… oh never mind.

        • Blanche Beecham

          When the zombie avocado-Apocalypse happens I am running into the crowd to become fodder for the zombie herd. I have a well reasoned logic to back me up.
          1) I am not a prepper/Apocalypse-survivor because I’m not. I have a Biblical reference about birds/flowers in the field not being worried and the truth is, I’m not gonna get worried about it because I have enough damn anxiety about things that are far more likely to happen.
          2) I am not going to poo where spiders can watch me, bite me or generally be near my poo hole in the dark or in the field. I am serious about this. Again, running to the zombie horde.
          3) The prepper movement has ugly ties to cannibalism, which anyone can argue about as true or false – but dang if those prepper supply sites don’t all have books on “compassionate cannibalism” – bullshite in a mason jar, no one is taking my legs because they appear well marbled. Hey Zed! Here I come. Zombies are not cannibals because they are not human.

          I think I’ve revealed enough about myself today.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m so pleased. So you don’t need more amusement?

      https://youtu.be/4xjPODksI08

      • Resistor Radio

        (It was on for a minute then went back out)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Damn. I’m sorry.

          • Resistor Radio

            It’s back on again but I’m not going to celebrate it in case it’s a jinx. Wind is absolutely howling outside!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            More amusement for you. Should the worst happen.

            https://youtu.be/fgWFxFg7-GU

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s lovely. Thank you.

    • hudson

      happy evening.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Thank you! You too!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      We had/are having a nice sunset in Oakland, too.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Dayum.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Beautiful.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      The sky she is on fire.

  • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

    “elicit “?

  • Resistor Radio

    Fuck. It just went back out.

    • Blanche Beecham

      Playng with your emotions. Bastages!

      • Resistor Radio

        Right?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Here’s more entertainment. It’s a bit heart-breaking.

      https://youtu.be/6SFNW5F8K9Y

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I watched that a dozen times through after Petty died. It’s the best.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Just watched it again. Prince slays it. Ah, Prince, wish that could have ended differently, man.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yeah. Me too.

    • therblig

      we’re gettin’ used to it now

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DblvhECdws0

      • Resistor Radio

        This ain’t no disco

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Jesus, I’ve only been away from the news for two hours, but I’ll never get caught up at this point:

    https://twitter.com/TrueFactsStated/status/932049873892978689

  • Michael R
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      If her actual pressers were like this, they’d be a lot more fun to watch.

  • Robyn Ryan

    Pled. The word is past of plead.
    He pled guilty.
    He pleaded with her.

    • Charles Insandiego

      Nien. It is pleaded is more correcter.

  • Joe Beese

    Lena Dunham faced heavy criticism on Twitter Friday night after she came to the defense of Girls writer Murray Miller, whom actress Aurora Perrineau alleged sexually assaulted her in 2012 when she was only 17.

    The Girls creator and star had released a statement earlier in the evening alongside series co-creator Jenni Konner, in which they voiced their support for Miller and insinuated that Perrineau “misreported” the rape.

    “While our first instinct is to listen to every woman’s story, our insider knowledge of Murray’s situation makes us confident that sadly this accusation is one of the 3% of assault cases that are misreported every year,” the pair said in the statement. “It is a true shame to add to that number, as outside of Hollywood women still struggle to be believed. We stand by Murray and this is all we’ll be saying about this issue.”

    http://people.com/tv/lena-dunham-slammed-on-social-media-for-defending-girls-writer-accused-of-rape/

  • Juan de Fuca

    *Wonders out loud to self*

    Jesus Christ, how many grammar Nazi’s do we have on here?

    *carry on*