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HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.
knows things

Here is a video of Rush Limbaugh JUST SAYING that back when Roy Moore was sexually assaulting kids (LOL “allegedly” or whatever), he was an actual DEMOCRAT. Did you know that? Did you know when he was “supposedly attracted to inappropriately aged girls” (which we guess Limbaugh is conceding), he was a DEMOCRAT? Did you know that, dumb Limbaugh fans? WELL DID YOU?

But now Roy Moore is a Republican, which means he has been … redeemed? Is becoming a Republican like accepting Christ into your heart? Does it make you less of a pedophile to become a Republican HAHAHAHA DENNY HASTERT WHO LET YOU IN HERE?

This is rock bottom, right?

We only have two questions:

1) What about the inappropriately aged girls Roy Moore has likely been attracted to since the early 1990s, when he changed his party affiliation?

2) Does Rush Limbaugh change his party registration every time he goes on a mysterious boys’ trip to the Dominican Republic with fistfuls of Viagra in his hamster cheeks, trips that DEFINITELY don’t have anything to do with the underage sex tourism that’s rampant there? Is El Rushbo registered to vote in the Dominican Republic, AS A DEMOCRAT?

Those are our only two questions.

Do not feel pressured to try to answer them in the comments of this, your open thread.

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  • BearGHAZI

    Love that he ‘shopped the fat off his disgusting face for the Youtube pic

    • SterWonk

      I believe the phrase you’re looking for is “a face for radio”.

  • mrFawkes

    Deer population is controlled by releasing wolves into an area. All problems should be solved that way. Too much pollution? Release wolves in factories. Dislike Congress? Wolves. Reality tv show with low ratings? Wolves. Rush Limbaugh wanna lose weight? That’s right, wolves.”

    • Amy!

      A Modest Idea for a Better Tomorrow.

    • Khavrinen

      “Rush Limbaugh wanna lose weight? That’s right, wolves.”

      What do you have against those poor wolves?

  • arglebargle

    I’m convinced Rush is part of Russia’s long game and has been doing their bidding since the 90’s. Fucking oily pustule on humanity’s ass cheek.

  • rubikcube

    Never suggest that a fetid, unrepentant blowhard like Rush Limbaugh has a rock-bottom. He is rock-bottom-less.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    But one can stay a pure Republican and diddle 14-yr-olds in the Dominican Republic, right?

    • BearGHAZI

      So long as you don’t kiss em on the mouth

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        That’s means your married, right? A kiss on the mouth?

        • BearGHAZI

          Only married if you can slap em on the ass and get a beer or sandwich out of it

  • BearGHAZI

    Is there any evidence that Rushbo was vising La Republica Dominicana for rent BOYS in particular, or are we just making that VERY FAIR assumption?

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate. (We need an acronym for that one: IWBINTS).

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Maybe he switched parties when she nixed his southern strategy?

  • canes_pugnaces

    The idea of Rush on Viagra with underage girls in the DR and/or Creepy Pervy Moore doing anything other than being stampeded by herd of bison is too much. Please put a trigger warning on further content of this type.

    — A concerned citizen.

    • richardgrabman

      What makes you think Rush goes to DR for girls? He has an awful time staying married to women, and doesn’t seem to think much of them… almost a stereotype of the closet queens I knew 30 years or more ago.

  • BadKitty904

    Who?

  • FlownΩver

    Somehow my mind turns to thoughts of incendiary suppositories for Mr. Limbaugh. No advocacy, just imagination taking of on its own tangent.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Dear Rush,

      Why don’t you take your rectal ruse, set it on fire, and blow your box off, because that’s the only bang you’re ever going to get, sweetheart.

      No love,

      EQ

  • exinkwretch

    Also, Flush pointed out that with a little hard-earned (stolen) cash, you can get all the underage action you want — girl or boy — with a quick flight to the DR. So he’s been told.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      nod, nod, wink, wink …

  • elviouslyqueer

    Morbidly obese fartbox who needs to die in a fire says what now?

  • exinkwretch

    Also, that full Jabba The Hutt pic of Flush haunts my nightmares whenever you run it.

  • Jgb979

    So umm

    If he wants to imply every remaining Dixiecrat dem was a rapist before taking their racism to the Republican Party….

    He might just write off the entire Deep South block there.

    There are places in the South that play this rotting anal fungus in churches

    • HogeyeGrex

      He is a walking, talking Fournier gangrene.

  • Michael Smith
    • wide_stance_hubby

      He/she should be the Official Mascot of Open Threads.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        The Official Mascot of Reading Twitter in the Age of Trump.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Yeah, I feel that way about Apple computers too.

  • Beautiful Soup

    Psst, Rush, Trump is a Democrat too! It is your duty to destroy him!

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    With everything thing he pulls out of his fat, greasy ass, the title of this guy’s program ought to be, “Doc, It Was A Million-to-One Shot!”

  • BadKitty904

    …said the bloated, drug-addled fascist shill noted for his fondness for nubile Dominican cabana-boys.

    • Raan

      Question: Is it pronounced with a “ñ” or an “n”?

      • BadKitty904

        “n”

        In Castilian Spanish, it’s “Dominicano,” though bear in mind that many Dominicans speak their own dialect of Spanish.

  • Ot: Soup base is on low whilst i wait on roasting garlic. My apt smells amazeballs right now

  • Ergoetal

    Nice, Rush. Have another Oxy.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Take two, they’re small.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Hell, take 46.

      • Paul

        To be fair, lots of things look small when compared to this bloated gas bag.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    “He’s so terrible, he once was a child-groping Democrat!

    But … he got better!”
    ____

    Sorry, no, Rush. We’d never keep such a huge lying scumbag in our party.
    And we wouldn’t keep Roy Moore either.

  • elviouslyqueer
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Brolly Bunny is always appropriate when discussing the current US political landscape.

      • Parakeetist

        Amin

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    I think it’s likely that Moore found himself more respected, welcomed, and in more like-company in the Republican party.

  • Jamoche

    “This is rock bottom, right?”

    It’s Yertles all the way down.

  • Raan

    Proposal: Start calling Republican pedophiles “Dominican Democrats”.

  • Jgb979

    Also just for the record:

    Number of democrats who have supported Harvey Weinstein : ___________

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      All of them.

      • marxalot

        No, no, he supported them. They have since shown their true colors, by and large not staying bought once Certain Allegations were brought to light, the selfish things.

    • James Baskin

      To be fair, there were a few assholes that made excuses for Weinstein, including Woody Allen.

      • Jgb979

        Oh I mean no doubt.

        I just haven’t seen any evidence of any politician (or corresponding talking head) willing to go on the record and say “Harvey’s accusers are liars” or “it doesn’t matter he’s a rapist”

        Like one is currently seeing on the other side

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Woody did it to cover his own deviant ass

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Woody Allen the (alleged) child molester who groomed his childrens’ teenaged sister for sex while in an ongoing relationship with their mother? Because I’m pretty sure he belongs in a separate category of people who are charter members of Mar a Lago because the owner likes the cut of their babychasing jib.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But it took Hillary a long time to denounce him.
      #bothsidesdoit!!!@“#!!!11!1

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sippee Cupp has a new column up. Apparently, because of Weinstein and Moore, Democrats must have their day of reckoning for Bill Clinton. For reasons.

    • We sent Weiner to jail. We never let Teddy Kennedy get farther than Senator…back the fuck up GOP

      • Raan

        Weinstein and Cosby’s careers are just about over.

        Y’know, for the “party of personal responsibility”, their pedophiles and Chester Molesters face very few consequences.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Edwards- gone. Spitzer- gone. Gary Hart- gone. Weiner- gone.

        What am I missing here?

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Not republicans…???

        • mailman27

          Trump-elected. Vitter-re-elected. Sanford-re-elected

    • Edith Prickly

      Even dumber Ann Coulter wannabe said what?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Wait, Bill Clinton did something consensual.
      Why have we never heard of this until now?

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Sure thing! We’ll run Bill Clinton right out the President’s office! Never again!

      As soon as you do the same with the current molester-in-chief. Deal?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Is she only just getting here? Chris L “is that Bernie’s prostate or am I just glad to see him?” Hayes landed over the weekend.

    • jesterpunk

      First I can’t vote for JFK now I cant vote for Bill Clinton. Fine thats it I am not voting for either of them for POTUS in the next election.

  • Edith Prickly
  • jesterpunk

    It didnt work last time, lets try it again.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/Qa6aPhf1gD4Bi/giphy.gif

  • yyyaz

    5 dead at multiple shooting locations in N. California county, including a school; gunman is killed
    http://beta.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-norcal-elementary-school-shooting-20171114-story.html

    • Celtic_Gnome

      “Hey! Don’t make me come down there and take that gun away! It’s 7:30 in the morning!”

      Yes, folks, we’ve reached that point. Gun violence is so prevalent that it’s treated like a routine annoyance like your neighbor and his fucking leaf blower.

  • davefromoregon

    No, rock bottom does not exist with crowd.

  • CripesAmighty

    But you know the droolers in wife-beaters are just going to eat it up: “hu-huh, demonRAts, hurr-hurr…” Gonna be high-fiving at the Cracker Barrel.

    • Gorillionaire

      After the high-five, they both break into a sweat and collapse in a coughing fit, because of the physical exertion. I have seen this many times at Cracker Barrel.

  • mrFawkes

    Maybe Rush should challenge Roy Moore the Democrat to a fight in the high school parking lot or a mall. On second thought, that’s already happened…one was poaching on the other’s hunting ground.

    • marxalot

      Rush the individual can challenge Roy the Democrat and then when they get arrested for fighting, claim that Roy the agent and Rush the settler are immune from Federal prosecution for sex crimes!

  • James Baskin

    ” he was a DEMOCRAT?” Allegedly!

    • HogeyeGrex

      A worse crime than kiddie fiddlin’, apparently.

  • GoutMachine
  • Peregrin

    I thought Limba died of syphilis.

    • Raan

      No, it just rotted his brain, making him perfect for the right-wing talk circuit.

    • mancityRed6

      spoilers, you time traveller

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Celtic_Gnome

      Isn’t that one of those change of policy things that forces it to the 60-vote threshold?

  • BadKitty904

    Say, speaking of drug-addled fascists…

    The Super Wealthy Oxycontin Family Supports School Privatization with Tactics Similar to Those That Fueled the Opioid Epidemic
    https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2017/11/super-wealthy-oxycontin-family-supports-school-privatization-tactics-similar-fueled-opioid-epidemic-2.html

    The notoriously secretive Sackler family, also known as the OxyContin Clan, has been the subject of much scrutiny of late, including lengthy exposés in the New Yorker and Esquire shining a harsh light on the connection between the drug that made the Sacklers wealthy and their philanthropic giving. But there is another troubling beneficiary of Sackler largesse that has escaped public scrutiny: charter schools. OxyContin heir and Purdue Pharma director Jonathan Sackler is a major funder of charters and an extensive network of pro-charter advocacy groups.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Huh.

      Jonathan Chait’s wife works for a pro-charter advocacy group.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s a plot to destroy unbiased quality public education to dumb down the citizenry and to also siphon off lots of public money into private coffers.

      • BadKitty904

        It’s an ENORMOUSLY lucrative market. Otherwise, the GOP could give a rat’s ass about American education.

        Republicans are only interested if they can squeezed obscene profits from it. If American kids learn to read and write, yeah, sure, that’s nice, too…

      • Paul

        Well put. (tips hat)

      • mailman27

        And more than a little anti-union. It’s like the Sacklers and the Waltons and the Adelsons could have made some real money if it hadn’t been for those pesky unions.

        • TJ Barke

          That’s pretty much a given.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Democrats also play a large role in the takedown of public education. DFER, Democraps for Education Reform, is just as evil as their GOP twins.
      https://www.prwatch.org/news/2016/03/13065/how-dfer-leaders-channel-out-state-dark-money-colorado-and-beyond

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    By all the Gods at once but I Hate Rs and their enablers.

    Let the War start soon.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      No, no war.

      Votes. Lots and lots and lots of votes. And not for the Rs.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Votes? Meh.

        Volts. Lots and lots of volts.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Bear prefers an avalanche of his favorite fruit: Imm-Peaches!!1!

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Thus, finally, we find out what would get them to leave Hillary alone: she just needs to change her party affiliation.

    • GoutMachine

      That would be some epic trolling. And a nice thought experiment: What if she actually did? What would they do?

      • Bad Tom

        Immediately change their tune to SHE’S GREAT!

  • puredog

    You are speculating that The Honorable Moore has had, much less acted on, inappropriate attractions since he became a good, upright, married Republican. I’m disappointed in you.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m pretty sure there are actual rape victims out there, based on what other women have said. Also, pedos never, ever. stop. Ever.

      We may never hear from them, but they’re out there.

      • puredog

        IWBINTS

        • Courser_Resistance

          ???

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            It means: it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Thank-ee!

          • mailman27

            I Wish, But It’s Not True Stuff?

  • ariel_gee_398

    I feel like this is a good thing to keep in mind: https://twitter.com/samswey/status/930512208710328321

    • mailman27

      Large “D”?

  • Put On Your War Paint!
    • Shan
      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Very sweet. :) Thank you.

        • Shan

          I was gonna post it in a separate comment complaining about our Open Thread being about creepy stuff again but I figured you needed it more!

          (even though it made my face a bit leaky)

      • Resistor Radio

        I want a dog!!!!!

        • Shan

          I kinda do, too.

        • Shan

          Yeah.

  • mancityRed6

    it’s kinda funny. when the Weinstein allegations broke, RWNJs were all over it. they demanded that campaign contributions were given back and he be publicly denounced by anyone with a (D) by their name.
    I didn’t hear one single person on their side say anything about “innocent until proven guilty”.
    now that these Moore allegations keep piling up, not only is he not being as publicly denounced as he should be, idiots are saying they want to vote for him even more.

    • OrG

      They sound like hypocrites when you put it like that.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Sounds more like “shameless, opportunistic shit weasels” to me…

        Potato, potatuh

      • mancityRed6

        *are

    • Resistor Radio

      It seems like it was years ago, but remember how the news was all up in high cunty dudgeon (TM Editrix) “what about Hillary? Why isn’t she denouncing???!!!!”

      • mancityRed6

        exactly

  • FDRliberal

    If you ever need to explain the fake Uranium One conspiracy to your braindead coworker, this video by Shep Smith is a good place to start. He calmly takes the conspiracy apart in a few minutes.

    Also, if you forward to 1:22 you will evidence of Trump’s Teeny Hands. I wonder if his hands shrink when actively lying?

    https://twitter.com/mmfa/status/930551622849118208/video/1

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is he allowed to do that?

      • Crystalclear12

        It’s cool, he’s the token reality dude.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      It’s called the “Reverse Pinocchio”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He must be on while viewers are taking their Froot Pie break.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m surprised this dude hasn’t been fired from Faux yet.

    • Shep’s surely got old Polaroids of some important people high up at FOX…

    • The Not So Handsome Stranger.

      I had a thought (yeah, it happens):

      I’m sure that countless Trumpsters will scream for a boycott of Shep but not one advertiser will utter a peep.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Waiting at the Marriage Rally right here and guess who they’re talking about……

    IT’S KIDDIE MOLESTOR MOORE!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9ae24a7ea331636aedf3cddae5582c9ecf8e8a3ec18cbea1bfd3a4f66416c98a.jpg

  • mancityRed6

    as for the mall ban.
    there was supposedly a security guard who knew about it/did it or whatever. but so far it isn’t technically proven.
    unless something came up while I was at work which isn’t really that far out of reality.
    but, people did know about his preferences, and how he hung out there. so, maybe it was all a joke told behind his back about how he “should” be banned or how he was “going” to be banned.

  • schmannity

    …but now that he’s a Republican, it is strictly barnyard animals

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      … and the occasional llama when it’s party time.

      • schmannity

        He’s multicultural, he likes animals from South America

      • LesBontemps

        Communal sex goat libel!

  • ariel_gee_398

    Has this been reported before? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it.

    Before Twitter was around to help him fat-shame foreign leaders, and denounce the media as “the enemy of the American People,” Donald Trump had to find other ways to exact petty revenge on his enemies, including a Real Housewives favorite: dramatically pouring wine on someone.

    https://www.thecut.com/2017/11/donald-trump-once-poured-wine-down-a-reporters-suit.html

  • Crystalclear12

    Rush, Rush, Rush you have tempted fate.
    *starts timer on new Moore allegations within the last 10 years*

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Current wife #4 about to have her face eaten by bloated malfunctioning animatronic Orc.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/14fd36c861e7f038bddcf18de94347f1b1ada25e9d9bf766bde05304fd441df1.jpg

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I wonder if there is also a special place in hell for women who marry Rush.

      • Crystalclear12

        Yep, where do you think he gets his brides from?

      • marxalot

        Yes, it’s the bedroom.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        They relive their wedding night over and over for eternity.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Tricia Helfer would never.

      • Shan

        She looks like her!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      How the hell did he convince 4 women to marry him???? Did he promise living arrangements in separate zip codes or something??

      • OrG

        $$$$$

    • biologydave

      The things people will do for money….

    • BadKitty904

      She looks so life-like!

    • Erala Contratista

      I thought that one left???!?

    • btwbfdimho
      • mailman27

        Her: You’re so gross.
        Him: What?
        Edit: Sorry not sorry for insulting a vicious, lying, character-assassinating fraud.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I thought it was an off duty Gamorrean Guard….

    • shastakoala

      It’s easy to be that thin when someone else eats all the food in the house.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Well, other than that cute Soldier checking me out at the store, 2 more neighbors asked my advice on cosmetics today.

    It helped when my Food Stamps card was Declined, and I had to walk 3 miles home only to find I did too still have a balance.

  • OneYieldRegular

    In his defense, Rush will argue that party affiliation – and the age of consent – become meaningless as soon as one crosses the border.

  • OrG

    I’m a registered Democrat. I am not a pedophile.
    CHECKMATE LIMPBALLS!

    • proudgrampa

      I am a registered Democrat! I am NOT a pedophile!

  • Daniel

    I think this is pretty blatant confirmation that there are no ethics involved in GOP condemnations of people, only party affiliation.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • Crystalclear12

      Why is the floor getting warm?

  • DrBigHead

    (overheard in a group of republicans)

    Rock bottom?! Hold my beer…..

    • jesterpunk

      “Shit we already elected Trump, do you think we are worried how low we can go?”

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    Nine out of ten Dominican rent boys agree: “Señor Limbaugh been very, very good to me.”

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    What an incredibly reckless thing for this vicious old pedophile (alleged) to say. Even by Limbaugh standards, which are the standards of the fully loaded sewer, this is revolting stuff. I am so waiting for Rush Limbaugh’s day of reckoning.

  • marxalot

    After-effects of visiting Texas: I’m chasing what wants to be an upper-resperitory infection off with handfuls of sudafed and shots of dimetapp. Don’t worry, I take the bus.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Try VERY SPICY Szechuan Chinese food. Hot level 8 or 9 at least, 10 if you can take it. If the germs haven’t gotten too tight a hold, this can really work. The hot chilis raise your body temperature a couple of degrees, and those little germs are not very tolerant of changes in body temperature.

      • marxalot

        I am allergic to, like, half of the things that grown in Texas, and have all the autumn allergies. I think I’m just gonna drink a bottle of Crystal’s.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I’m allergic to Texas, period.

  • I honestly thought Rush Limbaugh died.

    • proudgrampa

      His soul is dead.

    • BadKitty904

      How would we tell?

      • Honestly that’s a great question. I can’t answer it because “the smell” doesn’t seem to apply here.

        • BadKitty904

          No worse than usual, I’m sure…

      • Suse

        He only comes out at night?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Even more buzzards following him around than usual?

      • Zonath

        An improvement in the stench, quite honestly.

      • Crystalclear12

        Simple, he starts making sense to get a new audience. As you know zombies need brains to survive and he would starve with his current audience.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Welcome to the Wrong Side Of History! Today we’ll be enabling a former Democrat child-toucher, because he’s now one of us and we can rationalize anything. Right folks?

    Then, coming up after the break, we’ll definitely NOT discuss hiding sexual misconduct with any of the following people: Bill O’Reilly, David Vitter, Denny Hastert, Bob Livingston, Newt Gingrich, Mark Sanford, Scott DesJarlais, Robert Bentley, and the ghost of Roger Ailes! Enjoy the total silence!

    And now welcome your host, prescription drug-addict Nearlyconvicted McFelonface!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Aw, forgot Bob Livingstone, Tim Hutchinson, Staten Island’s own Vito Fossella (who got busted driving drunk to where his mistress and child lived), and a personal favorite, Hillary’s last Senate opponent John Spencer, former Mayor of Yonkers who both sides of the segregation case hated even before they found out that he put an entire second family on the city payroll and gave them raises while he was shutting down school libraries.

  • mrFawkes
    • Crystalclear12

      I better print that for cheat sheet for Thanksgiving.

      • georgiaburning

        I’m using it for the place cards around the table. Dumster Fire gets to sit near Aunt Katy, she always complains about Mexicans and cold drafts.

      • Red Bird

        Or bingo. Depends on you family.

    • C4TWOMAN

      The Dumpster Fire is at least a straight shooter. So to speak.

      • Red Bird

        True but Brad will probably buy you a drink at the after work happy hour.

        • marxalot

          Check for roofies.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Before groping you. Then call you a bitch when you refuse his advances.

    • clubseal

      “Thinks everyone is a snowflake yet offended by literally everything.”
      Sounds an awful lot like every conservative Trump supporter.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    I also got all my Team Yankee Brits primed. I was mistaken, there were 20 guys in the Milan Group box, so I have 89 little Brits to paint.

    I made a good start on about 25 of them last night.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/98898bb51a05a8cc86fb1af37b0884ea84a1319cb742f6d84149c975fdfbc213.jpg

    I haven’t started the camo pattern yet, but the basecoats are going well.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, that should keep you out of trouble, young lady!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        I was up past 11 working on them last night, so Yes. :)

        • BadKitty904

          Some music, some paint, a well-ventilated work-space…

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Yes, I listened to Fall Out Boy and One Direction while I painted. I had to stop when my back cramped up from sitting, but it was a good beginning.

    • jesterpunk

      Is he leading them to go and attack Rush? If so they might need a hazmat suit.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Russians, Rush Limpballs – Same-same.

        QRF make NATO Soldiers in NBC Gear.

  • armed_bears

    Fuck Limbaugh and the wallaby he hopped in on.

  • rocktonsam

    Takes one to know one you fat gas bag.

  • Suse

    I felt hopeful last week after the VA Massacre. Not so much this week.

  • YouInDangerGirl!

    Not that it matters, but I’m sure Moore was a Southern Democrat holdout in the 70’s. The effects of Nixon’s Southern Strategy weren’t immediate, and even Carter won most of the formerly Confederate states (sans Virginia) in ’76.

  • mailman27

    Yeah, that’s really what Limbaugh looks like. Big suave, such svelte.

  • clubseal

    Rush Limbaugh’s still around, huh? Guess all those Thanksgiving wishbones were fuckin’ worthless.

    • BadKitty904

      And about as politically relevant as Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, and the rest of the Reich-wing has-been hacks…

      • Shan

        Is there even a new crop coming up? Milo is the only one I know of and he doesn’t seem to be doing very well. Nor that Tony Lumbago chick.

        • BadKitty904

          I’m sure the Wonkettes will warn us if there is…

        • C4TWOMAN

          I think it’s more “both sides, Liebertarian” hacks in the upcoming generation. They’ll undermine progressives and push alt-right propaganda, but they’ll be sneaky about it and lie about their intentions hoping to string along lefts for as long as possible.
          For more about this exciting development see: Glenn Greenwald, Assange, etc.

    • shastakoala

      He has a face for radio.

      • clubseal

        … and a voice for clogging toilets.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    anonymous sources close to Steve Bannon are secretly telling the Daily Beast that his totally manly defiance of Democratic cuckitude is tempered in private by the deeply moral nature of how he’s deeply moral and shit and wants to Hulk Smash child molesters but mostly also too people who lie to him.

    “This is just another desperate attempt by Mitch McConnell to keep power, and it’s not going to work,” Bannon said on Monday’s episode of Breitbart News Daily. “You know, people in Alabama see through this. The good folks of Alabama are going to be able to weigh and measure this…This is an orchestrated hit from the Uniparty.”

    But over the past few days, Bannon has begun privately taking the temperature of those in his inner circle to see what they think of the Moore allegations and to get their sense of how to proceed, according to four knowledgeable sources. Late last week, the Breitbart chairman said, “I will put him in a grave myself,” if he determines that Moore was lying to him about the numerous accusations, a source close to Bannon relayed.

    Bannon emphasized, to both friends and colleagues, that he’s uncomfortable with the charges of sexual harassment and child molestation that have been levelled at Moore.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Bannon has morals? I call bullshit.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, well, one of his side scams is trying to get rid of the Pope because he isn’t enough of a nazi.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Me, too. He’s trying to save his reputation.

    • mailman27

      “I will put him in a grave myself.” Bannon wouldn’t even put him a time-out. Real tough guy.

      • C4TWOMAN

        He’ll put him in a grave if Bannon’s flunkies decide he’s political poison.
        I know, I know, seems obvious, but apparently the GOP is grading on a curve….

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Hitler liked little children too. That’s why he kidnapped so many of them.

    • Red Bird

      He should be uncomfortable with it since he used the same allegation to attack Hillary Clinton with the pizza shop basement story.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      “I will put him in a grave myself” actually makes sense in context:

      http://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/161115092412-ben-ghiat-stephen-bannon-super-tease.jpg

      Probably is like a spa day to Bannon, being an actual walking corpse himself.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Anonymous sources named btephen sannon and nephen tannon.

  • ken_kukec

    As I recall, when El Rushbo got popped at US Customs coming back from the DR, his Viagra was actually prescribed in someone else’s name. Prolly some Demoncrat’s.

  • jesterpunk

    So their justification for voting for him now is going to be “He was a democrat at the time”? They are really grasping at straws here.

    • cmd resistor

      I guess it sort of goes with the “Democrats are the real racists” theory espoused by people like Dinesh D’Shitsa.

  • Bad Tom

    HEY RUSH!
    If Moore was STILL a Democrat, we’d bounce him out on his ear!
    YOU GUYS are defending him.

    Don’t be stupid
    Be a smarty!
    Come and join
    the Pedo Party
    G O P

  • marxalot

    Tomorrow I’m co-leading a workshop about Scholarly Identity and Reputation Management for some grad students.
    …I have no idea what I’m doing, so I’m tweaking the slide deck.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      If I saw a workshop with that title I’d run in the opposite direction. What the heck is “Scholarly Identity?” Reputation Management I can understand…it means don’t post pictures of yourself half naked on Facebook, and don’t say on your resume that you went to Harvard, if you didn’t.

      • marxalot

        Actually, not in this context? It’s a “how do you present your work as work, and establish a scholarly/professional presence using current tools and outlets” for grad students looking to bridge the gap between student and new professional. We aren’t covering Drunk Facebook, we’re talking about citation indexes.
        If half the registered 15 people show up, I’ll be amazed.

        • proudgrampa

          Well, I think it would be a interesting subject.

          But I’m strange like that: esoteric things just fascinate me.

          Good luck to you. Presentations are always kinda nerve-wracking, but I know you’ll do well.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          What I learned after grad school and was interviewing for real jobs was that I needed to take all my academic honors OFF my resume (e.g. high school valedictorian, Phi Beta Kappa, spoke 4 languages) because it made the people interviewing me, most of whom had not excelled in college and who thought smart people were snobs, not want to hire me. But this depends, of course, on the field in which you are looking for employment. If I had been applying for academic or scientific positions, I’m sure all those academic honors would have been important, but I was applying for positions in local and state government. I guess what I’m saying is “tailor your resume and interview presence to the quality of the audience”, which is just common sense.

      • miss_grundy

        “Scholarly Identity” sounds like telling students not to plagiarize and if they are going to use quotations to cite them correctly. (I used to be an academic librarian and gave bibliographic instruction.)

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Rats, you just reminded me of TYPING my master’s thesis about 275 times, because my advisors kept saying “Move this to that page” or “switch these paragraphs around” or “add citation here” and every time I did, I had to retype the footnotes and endnotes. What a pain in the ass that was. I was hoping not to have to think about that again.

          • miss_grundy

            Gah! My bad! But I couldn’t help responding to the academic lingo.

  • Currently waiting for my potatoes and cauliflower to get soft enough to puree

  • Jenny

    So do all the terrible deviant shit while you’re a demoncrat? Is it like the Purge? I can do whatever and be saved?!?! It’s just like being born again!!

    • grindstone

      Nope. It’s just that bad-stupid-evil-godless = Democrat.
      Bible believing-honorable-ethical-moral = Republican
      So you see, he couldn’t have been a Republican all those years he perved on young women. Simple logic. And here’s where I need the link for all the religious right and right wingers who have been caught with their hand or the dick in the cookie jar.

  • christmas is canceled

    I absolutely KNEW this line was coming.

    • TJ Barke

      They’re so predictable.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Just think of the most stupid and nonsensical response—almost as if you want to create an exaggerated wingnut parody—and you’ve got the next wing nut talking point.

        • clubseal

          Moore is innocent! The women coming forward were paid by the Illuminati to hide the fact that the Democrats are all lizard people who play Nickelback while watching “According to Jim” – the worst kind of people.

        • bbayliss

          It seems I lack sufficient imagination

    • clubseal

      I said that once at a particularly busy sperm bank.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      When I saw it in his Wikipedia entry, I knew this was going to be their “exit strategy.”

      It’s aggravating that this transparently shameless blatant partisan bullshit actually works on anyone.

  • rocktonsam

    You would think $arah would be outing some perv. $he can smell a grift all the way to Putin’s house .

    • wide_stance_hubby

      She has been strangely and pleasantly absent from our political discourse of late.

  • BadKitty904
    • Crystalclear12

      I was bored and I thought it would be funny.

      My bad.
      God.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Translation: “4 teh lulz”

  • bbayliss

    Charlie Pierce just told me what I think about Sessions and republicans:

    “They’re going to ride with this president* and his people the way that Alabama Republicans are riding with ol’ Judge Roy Moore. They will ride with everything Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III doesn’t recall, and with every “wrongly stated” thing that the president* says about everything. They will exercise their unconquerable consciences in various green rooms and studios, as well as on the electric Twitter machine. But, ultimately, they will do nothing. That job will be left to Bob Mueller and the 2018 midterms, god help us all.”
    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a13615651/sessions-hearing-russia-republicans/

    • BadKitty904

      That job is left to US. These people will stay in power as long as WE let them stay in power.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    So Rush admits that the allegations are true.

    • BadKitty904

      As if he or any other Republican cares…

    • DrBigHead

      That little bit of irony will be completely lost on his listeners.

  • tehbaddr

    Moore was a DemoRat? Did he go to Comet?

    • Doug Langley

      He ordered the pizza with uranium topping. Served by child sex slaves.

      • mancityRed6

        “on Mars”
        it’s the new fortune cookie game

      • tehbaddr

        What no anchovies?!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      There was a weird moment in 2004 when Zell Miller, the Democratic Governor of Georgia, was campaigning for Bush 2 but refused to leave the party because he promised his racist old dixiecrat daddy he would never become a Republican. Meanwhile, Condoleezza Rice said she was a Republican despite their (koff) racial issues because daddy was old school and made her promise never to become a Democrat.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Jennifer R
    • If God wanted people to eat ass, then the anus would be packed with sensitive nerve endings.

      Regarding choking, it’s legal in judo, but when I practiced it in college with a very pretty classmate, I felt like an utter shit for hours. I personally keep that sort of thing in the dojo.

      • Jennifer R

        Mistress choked me, along with some very fun rough sex, and it was among the best sexual experiences of my life. And Wonkette can attest that I have been busy.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    I thought we’d hit rock bottom. Then, the political party I grew up believing in is standing fast behind a sex offender.

    I now wish I knew what the floor looked like, if only not to keep being shocked and disgusted.

  • ariel_gee_398

    What, they thought “Jewy McJewenstein” was too unbelievable a name for a fake journalist? https://twitter.com/anamariecox/status/930566748428013570

    • BadKitty904

      “Shocked and appalled,” eh, Marty? The Republican Party has been doing it for years and you and the rest of American media have been enabling them.

      • miss_grundy

        They enabled Dotard into the Oval Office by fixating on Hillz’ emails instead of fixating on the criminal and treasonous enterprise run by the Trump Organization.

        • BadKitty904

          Not ONE of them has called the GOP on their daily shower of shit.

    • christmas is canceled

      oh I just posted something about this too, didn’t see yours.

    • DrBigHead

      And it works. It works. It works.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Right. Because anyone who’s ever heard of Marty Baron knows he dgaf about child sexual molestation. Because his investigation of pedophilia in the Boston Catholic Church in the face of local (largely Democratic) political resistance absolutely didn’t get a Pulitzer prize and an Academy Award.

    • Daniel

      “We will not be fully investigating these claims”

      This only sounds plausible to Breitbart readers.

      Who will absolutely fall for this.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Wingnuts are terrible at this. It’s so transparent. They literally echoed every bad movie trope where the evil mastermind monologues his entire evil plot to the hero.

        At least when we do it, we’ll go so far as to use a time machine to go back and plant Obama’s birth certificate in the newspaper of the state matching the other stories about “where he was born.”
        WE GOT AWAY WITH IT TOO! MUAHAHAHA

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, Carl sounds a little aryan. Bernie, on the other hand, has a socialist ring.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “Bernie Bernstein”? What, did they lift this from an old Marvel Comic book circa 1965?

    • CripesAmighty

      Sad part is, buncha those idjit hicks’ll swallow it hook, line…

    • SeeTrain65

      “‘Marty Baron?’ MADE UP NAME!”

      “Bernie Bernstein? Has to be real.”

  • Moore may have been a DEMOCRAT, but he sure as hell wasn’t a LIBERAL.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Back then, Southern Democrats weren’t.

  • Suttree

    I just went through a whole big thing so that a friend of mine (ex girlfriend) could send my broke ass enough to buy a bottle of wine. Her aunt died last night and she wants to have one of those 4 hour conversations.I miss her and I will never stop loving her. How do I ask Wonketters to throw in some bus change so that I can go look at jobs further than I am looking for now?

    • Doug Langley

      Gofundme is easy to set up, if you don’t them taking a good bite of what comes in.

      • Shan

        PayPal doesn’t if you mark it as a gift for family and friends. I send my daughter money this way so she can buy stuff for her online games.

      • Suttree

        Craigslist will give me a job soon. I hope.

    • Suttree

      I am erasing half of my previous comment.

  • christmas is canceled
    • Shan

      They are SO monumentally stupid.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        It’s the dumb leading the dumb over there.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          It’s derp top to bottom.

    • JMP

      Bernie Bernstien. That’s about as subtle as Jewy McJew.

    • puredog

      “Bernie Bernstein.” Snort.

      • christmas is canceled

        someone on twitter suggested “International Banker Globalowitz”

    • BadKitty904

      OK, “Bernie Bernstein” made me genuinely lol. Which startled the cats sleeping on my desk.

      • Crystalclear12

        Why are you sleeping on your desk?

    • Manhattan123

      Bernie Bernstein did a great piece in the Style section last year about the best way to prepare Christian baby blood for the holidays.

    • Nockular cavity

      Because when you’re defending a pedophile, why not go all in on antisemitism?

    • CripesAmighty

      Voice by Larry David?

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Remember when we all circled the wagons behind Harvey Weinstein, because he was an important Democratic donor, and we wrote endless posts and editorials and screeds excusing his behavior? Oh, wait, no. The opposite of that. Nobody did that.

    Weird! “Ejaculating into houseplants is good for everyone, including the plant, and especially the woman who witnesses a man joyously giving himself pleasure in her presence! Weinstein is perfectly normal!” said absolutely no Democrat ever, anywhere.

    Contrast that with: “Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus. There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here. Maybe just a little bit unusual!” said actual Alabama State Auditor Jim Zeigler.

    • puredog

      PRO TIP: When one “circles the wagons,” one does so AROUND the target, so as to protect said target from all sides. If one circles the wagons “behind” the target, one not only does not protect said target, but blocks a significant escape route for said target.
      /pedant
      Carry on.

      • bbayliss

        One of my people!

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Thank you for your service in the Pedantry Infantry!

        (I’ll leave my poorly mixed metaphor goof up as a testament to Wonket’s rigorous non-comment peer review process)

        • puredog

          I wouldn’ta said nuffin except it was the second time I’d seen that usage today (first was in the WaPo, so console yourself with the knowledge that you’re in good company).

      • Doug Langley

        Don Martin:

        “The Indians are attacking! Quick, put the wagons in a circle!”
        “But we only have one wagon.”
        “It will be a small circle.”

  • Doug Langley

    How was my day? Glad you asked.

    Got a letter from my bank saying my account was overdrawn. Wait, what? I know I was running on fumes, but made sure never to overdo it. So went to bank and asked wtf. To make a long story short: a month ago, I dropped off payments to utilities in a post office mailbox. Someone broke into the mailbox, stole my checks, whited out name and amounts, and wrote in own name and bogus amount. Voila, instant overdrawn account. So now bank is starting investigation, and I have to explain to utilities why they didn’t get last month’s payment. Hopefully before they shut off everything.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Wow sir.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Sorry to hear that. Online payments.

      • proudgrampa

        THIS^^^^

    • bbayliss

      shit.

    • Crystalclear12

      I feel your pain.
      Would a trite cliché make you feel better?

      • Doug Langley

        Doubtful, but I appreciate the gesture.

        • Crystalclear12

          I have some good ones:
          Darkest before the dawn
          The sun will come out tomorrow?
          No?
          How about a heartfelt hug from someone who has been there?
          Best wishes and a speedy resolve.

          • Doug Langley

            What does make me feel better is that he had to write in his name, show ID when he cashed it, and bank knows which branch and when it was cashed. So catching him shouldn’t be a problem.

          • Crystalclear12

            Mine was also easy to catch.
            It was my sister.

    • SeeTrain65

      And that thud you just heard was my heart sinking in my chest and colliding with my colon.

      I’m hoping things turn around very soon.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Who the hell would have accepted whited-out checks???? That wouldn’t strike them as a tad suspicious?

      I hope they get the clowns who did this to you… and the person foolish enough to cash them.

    • notaten

      I just learned that gel pens are the only ones that can’t be washed off of a check. Don’t know how or why, but maybe in future only use gel pens.

      • Doug Langley

        From the pic, it didn’t look like they erased anything. They just slapped White-Out on it.

  • Manhattan123

    I would love some investigative reporter to find one of those “cabana boys” Limbaugh and his buds had, er, service them, during those Viagra-fueled trips.

    • BadKitty904

      Dude. C’mon, it’s almost supper time.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Probably wasn’t boys. My guess it was underage girls, which are prevalent in the DR. Either way, ick.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Drugs Blimpaugh is a pedophile. Donald Drumpf is a pedophile who raped a 13 year old repeatedly, in concert with his convicted, child rapist pal, Jeffrey Epstein. Roy Moore is a pedophile, and more women will be coming forward to prove it. What does Pedo Teddy Nugent have to add to Moore’s defense? Maybe we can ask Denny Hastert to weigh in and advise Moore. I think Marc Foley is available.

    • proudgrampa

      Russians and pedophiles.

      Is there a connection?

  • proudgrampa

    Ponies doing the Hamster Dance!

    https://youtu.be/OorilPck_dA

  • Dg Hacket

    Hey, do you know what the difference is between a garbonzo bean and a chick pea?

    I never had a garbonzo bean on my face!!

    • BadKitty904

      Donnie?

    • shastakoala

      Ok, I laughed.

      • Dg Hacket

        A girl i work with told me that one today, i almost died laughing

    • bbayliss

      You should try it. It’s really beany

    • Robyn Ryan

      Hummus…..

    • SeeTrain65

      What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

      Your body produces hormones, but vitamins are needed by the body to function.

      No, wait. … “You can’t make a vitamin.” DAMN. Stepped on the punch line.

      • DrBigHead

        That is how I generally end up telling jokes. A gift I do not have.

        • Shan

          I can’t usually even get that far. It’s tragic.

          • vivian

            Two guys are standing out in front of a bar wondering if they should go in…

          • SeeTrain65

            “Two guys walked into a bar, which is really stupid because if one guy walked into the bar you figure the second guy would have seen it.” – Howie Mandel

          • vivian

            Two bars walk into a guy, and one of them says “Hey don’t be so hard on yourself.”

          • Shan

            I could flub even that much.

            “Two guys…wait, maybe three? Or two guys and a gal? Anyway, I think one was a priest. Or maybe a politician. Or was it a 10-inch pianist? But I think they were in line for the bathroom at a football game. Or was it a Ted Nugent concert? Wait, they were getting ice cream!”

          • vivian

            See, I think that’s a pretty good joke.

          • Shan

            Ok YOU do it!

        • SeeTrain65

          It’s stolen.

          Hugh Laurie: [As Police Constable] Ask me what my favorite food is. “Lancashire Hotpot.” Why? “Lancashire Hotpot you in the name of the law!” … “Irish Stew,” DAMN IT! “IRISH STEW!”

          • aureolaborealis

            Hugh Laurie [as Bertie Wooster]:
            ” So he said, ‘Wembley? I could have sworn it was still Tuesday.’ HAHAHA! You see, he couldn’t hear very well and, so …”

      • bbayliss

        Difference between prostitute and postage stamp? Something something about the sequence of paying, licking, or something.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You can lead a horticulture, but…

        • SeeTrain65

          And I’ve heard two versions.

          One begins with “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t etc.” I think my Dad used to tell this one.

          The other is the more standard “… but you can’t make her think.” Heard this one when I worked at the Postal Service, where I was the only guy on my shift among numerous women.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Comes from Dorothy Parker, when asked to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence.

          • SeeTrain65

            I do recall I found this out after the fact.

            I was so young and dumb in my late 30s.

          • Spurning Beer

            An elderly psychiatric hospital patient told me that actually, you can lead a horse to drink, but you can’t make it water.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            The second one was Dorothy Parker, based on the first one.

          • unionthuggery

            Ah postal humor.

            I used to hear very often in reference to the supervisors, “you can’t fix stupid.” Also, they were frequently referred to as the “stupidvisor”.

          • SeeTrain65

            Apt descriptors, all.

            Never had a supervisor who wasn’t complete fuck up. Granted, I only had two, and I was only there for about 10 months.

          • unionthuggery

            What craft?

    • Crystalclear12

      Trump, is that you?

    • aureolaborealis

      Politically topical dad joke:

      Q: Why did the elephants get kicked off the beach?
      A: They were walking around with their trunks down.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I’d rather belong to the former party of a pedophile than his current one. Just sayin’.

    • BadKitty904

      Good point, that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • BadKitty904

      And the sun was in his eyes. Plus his shoe was untied.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Elves only remember how to make the cookies.

      • Tragic Typos

        OMFG, I want to marry that comment. Or maybe just do sex things — how old is it?

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          At least 25.

          • Tragic Typos

            Almost too old for me but I will still do sex things to it.

      • Raan

        “Top 25 Places Keebler Cookies Come From – You’ll Never Believe #12!”

        • Jimh

          Whoa if true!

    • Khavrinen

      The scientific term for this phenomenon is the “Republican Memory Effect”.

      • vivian

        Actually, even this is borrowed… from Kurt Waldheim.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Those are our only two questions. Do not feel pressured to try to answer them in the comments of this, your open thread.”

    If you really must, write your answer on your address and phone number, throw it away, and then drink heavily until you’ve forgotten about it.

    • Crystalclear12

      So. . .
      SOP?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      A sensible policy for a better America.

  • aureolaborealis
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • wide_stance_hubby

      They simply will not stand for this sort of accuracy in reporting.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “If he’s gonna’ tell the truth, he’s got no goddamned place at FOX News! Get him out. We don’t need no stinking facts and truth. We come here for FOX alternative facts and truth. FIRE HIM!”

    • SeeTrain65

      “Some of his networks loudest viewers.”

      You mean “All of them?”

    • christmas is canceled

      I am continually astonished he hasn’t long since been fired.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I’m astonished he hasn’t ended up in Bellevue.

        • Parakeetist

          The poor kid

    • Zonath

      So defend a child molester/rapist, and it’s all good, but may gawd help you if you dare to fact check something.

      This is why Fox News is slated to beat out the History Channel for the most ironically named cable channel in the world.

      • unionthuggery

        I don’t know… Is The Learning Channel still a thing?

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Drool dripping is loud?

  • Jenny

    You guys. I am being tortured by shades of my former, well, mostly, repressed self!

    Many a years ago I was crazy in love with a person. Your editrix probably has a picture of the two of us many moons ago at the Austin meet up. He dumped me. He gave me lots of reasons. Mostly I am terrible. I expect too much of people, am judgy, self centered, too needy, and not needy enough, too conventionally pretty, and manipulative.
    Yeah. So sure. I am all those things. I never hid that stuff. I am who I am, and sometimes I suck.

    It didn’t bother me until I found out he went back to the girl before me. The alcoholic one who drove a car through his house and was always threatening to kill herself, her kids, and him.

    Wait what?? I am as bad or worse than that? OH FUCK THIS SHIT I WAS ANGRY! And I let him know it. How dare he put me down and then have the nerve to not even find someone actually better! UPGRADE MOTHERFUCKER, HAVE SOME STANDARDS!

    Anywho fast forward to today. I guess they are married now. Good for them. I happen to download facebook messenger because my mom asked me to. Lo and behold…in this pending message box there are like 15 messages from her. From 2015. A year after he and I broke up btw, talking so much shit. I’m guessing this was when they got married because she was like look at me. I won blah blah blah.

    I really really want to respond to her. The hood rat in me is like go find that trash and stoop to her level and beat her ass to a pulp. You know it is in you.

    I have had that time to beat some ass abnormal acts of strength type adrenaline in me all day!

    I hate it! And for what? He actually kind of sucks in hindsight. He made me a slightly better person who accomplished most of my goals just to spite him.
    I just don’t like people getting the last word. People, that will be my downfall!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      I hate letting others get the Last Word myownself, but this Guy sounds like a Hopeless Loser, and if you’ll forgive me, they Deserve each other.

    • Parakeetist

      Okay, I can’t stand to read this post. I am hiding it.

      • Jenny

        I don’t blame you. I don’t like that any of this is in my head.

        Imagine how awful it is to have bad thoughts and bad grammar!

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          Hey, you had the feelings, you vented, you’ve processed them. It’s All Good.

          Don’t be ashamed of your feelings. You’re actions were good and appropriate, be proud of that.

        • Parakeetist

          I sry

    • NastyBossetti

      Let THIS be your last word, then, here on Wonkette. These people are a waste of your time and energy. If it helps, imagine how crazy it probably drove her that you didn’t respond to her at all, like you couldn’t care less about her or the dude.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        This, it drives Bitches like her CRA-zee when you don’t care about their shit.

      • Jenny

        I deleted all her messages and uninstalled messenger! It prompted me to get rid of old numbers and email addresses too.

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          Good for you, Jenny. :) Believe me, I can relate, but you see, you’ve already won.

        • Steely_Fan

          You just won, IMHO. Good for you!

      • Shan

        Concur!

      • Covfefe

        OTOH, responding to her on Wonkette isn’t going to cost anything. Giving her the satisfaction of seeing your response is playing her game.

    • ” He made me a slightly better person who accomplished most of my goals just to spite him” take that as a win and you are the better person.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      What I’m getting for this is that this asshole and his former and future ex are stuck in a Taylor Swift song and will at some point in the future move on to become Taylor Swift songs for others, so fuck it, you’re well rid of them both?

    • bbayliss

      Do you have a sister?

      • Jenny

        Multiples!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I can understand the feeling – the number of times I have started to respond with pure 100% acid at someone is pretty high up there.
      Take the victory lap knowing those two deserve each other.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      He sounds like a dick, and she sounds like a bitch. I hope they’re both unable to conceive, for the good of any future children they don’t deserve to have.

      There’s far better fish in the sea — and there’s nothing wrong with being single.

      You deserve better. Nobody’s perfect, but whatever flaws you have, at least you acknowledge that. These two sound like shit. Ignore them, because there’s a good chance that one or the other is going to burn the house down in an argument over who was responsible for crashing the car. Trainwrecks.

    • Suttree

      Hey darling, I just had an old ex call me up today. I hadn’t talked to her in a long time. Her b-day was 2 days ago and I didn’t call. She tried to call yesterday and I didn’t pick up. She called today and told me that her aunt died. I knew her aunt. SO I called back. So now I am feeling the feels. Lizzie dumped me a few weeks ago.

      Anywho. I was just sharing my story because because I understand crazy. You are not alone darling. ;)

    • Covfefe

      Not responding is a response. Up til now, you do have the last word. A written response will generate endless repetitions. You will be deprived of the last word.

    • unionthuggery

      It’s a toss up. The redneck part of me wants to channel some emperor Palpatine and encourage you to embrace your anger. Let the hate flow through you. It’s certainly righteous anger, and it sounds like she totally deserves whatever ass beating you deigned to bestow upon her.

      However, the sensible side thinks that this was two years ago, she’s a moron, he’s a douche canoe, they’ll destroy each other without your help. No need to darken your soul with their garbage.

      I guess the determining factor is, how many drinks have you had?

    • SeeTrain65

      People like that most times aren’t worthy of a response.

      I block, I move on. I get sick of dealing with it. You may be different. You’re likely a better person.

    • marxalot

      Lemme tell you what someone once told me: fuck the internet drama.
      That’s what this is, now. Y’all don’t talk in real life, he’s plainly an idiot who was rebounding off her onto you and relapsed, none of this is any of your problem. Walk the fuck away.

  • bubbuhh

    SO why does Rush Limbaugh like to fuck young boys? He aint no democrat.

    • Parakeetist

      EVIL

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Young boys would be the least likely to tell anyone and who can blame them?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Bill D. Burger

      “A puppy is lucky / But candy is dandy.” __ Roy Moore

      • Carpe Vagenda

        This guy is the one who wrote the black gay Santa book.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Liquid Tomato

      More sacrifices to the new modern Moloch.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • bbayliss

      Heartbreaking.

    • GoutMachine

      Can I build on that, Congressman? It’d never pass because the GOP would say it’s racist against white people, and the president would take the side of Nazis. It’s not that your colleagues are afraid of big issues. It’s that they don’t care. And they actually hate you.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Speaking of bloated, noxious gas bags —

    Pulling the plug: Republican tax plan would kill electric vehicle tax credit

    …because by all means, we don’t want Americans being encouraged to buy those sissy Priuses what don’t require gouging at the pump! Them thar eco-stuff is just unpatriotic! MOAR OIL FOR FREEDOM!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I think ex-VA gov McConnell tried to pull a similar stunt, I think with the rationalization that the electric vehicle owners weren’t paying their fair share of gas taxes at the pump.

      Ridiculousness…

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I think it’s time for this. I read once that a person needs 7 hugs per day in order to retain emotional health. I’m way behind, which is why I’m going to visit the new babby tomorrow. Babbies love to give hugs.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq4Q9oP7IEk

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    AUSSIE SAY YES!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If I weren’t on the other side of the country I’d be there:

    https://twitter.com/benwikler/status/930564520732516354

    • jesterpunk

      They are trying to intentionally kill their tax bill?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        They are masters of doing absolutely nothing they might be held accountable for later.

        • jesterpunk

          Who knew governing was so complicated?

          • sarafina

            The Dotard didn’t.

      • vivian

        They think that “keeping their promises” to the Red State mobs of pitchfork wielding idiots will get them re-elected, not realizing that said idiots actually like having healthcare.

  • Final product: served over goat cheese bacon blend with scallions and and bacon: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c457fd26e77822d90a7e0f598a9dfb518631c53a18845aaecb593bac38999649.jpg

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Oh damn that looks good! I keep forgetting to buy Goat cheese at the store.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I was wondering what to make from some extras in the fridge. Brilliant! We’ve got all that. Did you happen to use chicken broth as a kind of base, I have that also.

      • I did. Orginal pot was:

        4 large potaotes, peeled and chopped; 1 head of Cauliflower, chopped; 1.5 boxes chicken stock, about 1 cup of white wine from my fridge, 1 shallot (small onion), diced, two roasted heads of garlic. Salt, pepper, and rosemary

        After pureeing the shit out of it, i added about 1.5 cups of cheese (roasted garlic brick and parm mix)

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Mrs. Itt is going to be so happy as she’s going through a rough patch at work. And, I grow my own rosemary indoors. Thank you!

    • anon_the_great

      Yummers!

    • proudgrampa

      Nice!

      When can I come over? Shall I bring a Chardonnay?

    • Shan

      *ENVY*

      (except for the goat cheese, I would use feta)

      • I would be good with out it. I put a couple of lumps in the bowl before ladling

        • Shan

          I could handle a little bit of goat cheese. I just find it really overpowering. That’s unusual because I normally don’t mind that.

    • GoutMachine

      I am a sucker for goat cheese. Bon ap’!

    • Resistor Radio

      Yum! I did a smashed cauliflower (in lieu of mashed potatoes) for dinner, my first time and it was delicious!

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, my lil’ rapscallions, time to go start supper and to feed the livestock. No jumping on the furniture ‘til I get back…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/234557afdbcc5269294079a3de7cd23df52cabbc2195c5c0621187cb4a0df8a8.gif

  • Kneeling Bozilingus

    Roy Moore was singing the sweet misery blues when they barred him from the mall.
    “Could I buy you a dress or something?
    Could I buy you some jewelry or something?”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1bIjee0tNQ&list=RDxMwGBr4QZKY&index=7

  • NastyBossetti

    What is an “inappropriately aged girl?” It seems to me the girls were appropriately aged. They were the exact age they should have been at the time, having been born that number of years beforehand. The only inappropriate thing about this mess was – and still is – Roy Moore.

    • Steely_Fan

      Yep. If only those teen aged girls had the decency to be older when ol’ Roy decided to perv on them.

      • Alex Grey

        Obviously it was the fault of the women, that were perved on, by Roy Moore.

    • DrBigHead

      They are only “inappropriately” aged in the minds of those who see them as objects, not human beings.

    • marxalot

      Even if you remove the age of the victim: does any of what we’re hearing sound even remotely consensual?!

    • Alex Grey

      Indeed.

    • Alex Grey

      An “inappropriately aged girl,” means a girl under the age of consent. Under 16 in AL. Guess that works for DA’s.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby
    • hudson

      gasgase payasas all around!!

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        BRING SOME NOW MATE

    • Shan

      I guess y’all have about the same percentage of deplorables we do in the USA.

      • unionthuggery

        That’s a consistent percentage globally and historically. When they’re really motivated, and the rest of us are apathetic, they do horrible things.

        • Shan

          I guess we just have to not let the bastards grind us down!

          • unionthuggery

            Indeed.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • GoutMachine

      Oi, oi, oi!

    • mailman27

      They make it look so easy.

    • aureolaborealis

      Very surprised that Queensland, the Texas/Alabama of Australia, didn’t have the highest ‘no’ percentage.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        This shocked me the most too. But as my friend told me – a lot of Western Sydney is exceedingly conservative.

  • mardam422

    Isn’t it too early to be politicizing this, Rush?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I just read this.
    5 dead in Northern California shootings that ended at elementary school
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/least-3-dead-northern-california-shooting-ended-elementary-school-193706664.html

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Silly, Rock Bottom is for quarries and drunks, not “libertarians”!

  • Bill D. Burger

    A judge, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar.
    Bartender says, “What’ll it be Roy?”

  • Begin Anew Day

    People still listen to this pill-head racist?

    Yo Rush! You lost a step! That comes with getting OLD!

    • ChumpsForTrump

      A pill head racist… is someone the typical repiglican can relate to!

      • Begin Anew Day

        He has a face well suited for radio.

  • John Iwaniszek

    Not rock bottom. They haven’t sent the storm troopers to beat up the women yet. That will be rock bottom.

  • sarafina

    It’s Tuesday, and no indictments from Mueller yet.

    • Parakeetist

      I want an indictment for Christmas.

    • DrBigHead

      I’m getting more than a little impatient

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Just imagine how those on the List must feel, eh?

    • jesterpunk

      That we know about, remember the one guy was indicted and working with Mueller for months before we knew about it.

      • sarafina

        It DOESNT COUNT if I don’t know about it.

        • jesterpunk

          Mueller doesnt leak unless he really wants something to get out.

          • Manhattan123

            That’s what those hookers said at the Ritz in Moscow.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Sophia

      How does Shep still have a job at Fox?

      • So they can point at him and say, “See? We aren’t biased!”

        • vivian

          Nah. He’s gotta have the dirt on somebody.

      • TJ Barke

        It’s a conundrum.

  • Sophia

    Funny but over the course of my life I have been both a Conservative & a Liberal but I have never had the desire to sexually assault children.

    • Parakeetist

      I have taken off my pants while evading the State Police in New Jersey.

      • Raan

        As a distraction technique?

        • Parakeetist

          It was hot.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I quit guitar lessons when the instructor told me to finger a minor.

      • Meccalopolis

        Nice that sounds like a good story

      • Sophia

        Did it work?

        • Parakeetist

          Yes!

          • Sophia

            I’ll file that away for future reference.

      • ContextIsKey

        Good thinking. The subtle approach is usually best.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    So there’s a guy on death row here in Nevada. They were going to execute him today, but a judge put a hold on it because the state was going to use a new lethal injection cocktail that had not been tested and could potentially violate the Eighth Amendment.

    Well, now the guy is on suicide watch because he’s reached the point where he feels if the state won’t execute him he’ll do the job himself.

    https://twitter.com/MichelleRindels/status/930571190363549697

    • marxalot

      When the State has decided to kill you, you wait your damn turn!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Well.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      This is really cruel and unusual punishment. Just give the guy a fucking rope already.

      • ChumpsForTrump

        Or a lethal dose of votes.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Oh the irony of it all.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Another example of America’s blatant hypocrisy towards death. It’s not about death (or suicide) being a “sin.” It’s about power and control.

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          Exactly! “It’s not ok for you to die until we kill you” what horseshit.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I really wish we had the Belgian model of euthanasia already too. (Suicide not only for the terminally ill but chronically and mentally as well)

          • Swampgas_Man

            As a near-suicide, I really, really don’t want this. Depression tells me to kill myself all the time, I don’t need the State added to that.

    • TJ Barke

      FFS just OD him on anesthetic…

      • h4rr4r

        Too expensive and may be hard to purchase. Go get a bottle of nitrogen from the closest welding supply shop.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        This actually brings up an interesting historical fact. Prior to lethal injection, the preferred method of execution in Nevada was gas.
        Problem was, the first time the state tried it, they just threw canisters of lethal gas into the condemned man’s cell. His open-to-the-air cell. After nearly asphyxiating all of the guards as well as the prisoner, they decided that an actual gas chamber might be a more practical investment.

      • sarafina

        Is there some reason they can’t use morphine? It will kill a person, without seconds/minutes of agony. Compassionate doctors use it with the approval on terminal patients who don’t want to suffer days/weeks/months.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Makes sense– keep him alive, give him back the will to live, THEN kill him. Much more satisfying.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I will never understand how the drive for vengeance and bloodlust is worth all this to people.

  • Kneeling Bozilingus

    Celebrating my day of birf, may be posting various music vids as strikes my mood. (Picture me as an old white guy dancing.)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFvXt2PFnB8

  • Me not sure

    Limbaugh lost his hearing and his teeth to drugs while a Republican. I’m reasonably sure that changing parties will not get them back.

    • vivian

      Also too, soul for what it might have been worth.

      • Me not sure

        I saw it up for bid on ebay. No takers so far.

  • Oh, my god. I just got back from the chiropractor, and I hurt. …Which you would think would be a problem, given that people tend to go to chiropractors because they are in pain to begin with. And I was. And now I’m in a completely different kind of pain. I am also standing straight again. Seriously: I had developed a hump in my back, where olds tend to get them, and I just thought I was starting down that road a decade or so early. But, no. Having been compressed to what felt like the width of a pancake (and not the big, fluffy mayonnaise kind that have been trending, lately; I mean a proper pancake), the hump is gone, I am breathing better and ow, ow, ow! ‘Tis time for some medicinal beer.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      OUCH. That’s gotta hurt, QW. Rest easy and take it slow in recovery.

    • Raan

      Wait, people are putting mayonnaise in pancakes now?

      WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP TIMELINE IS THIS?

      • Swampgas_Man

        When I visited New York in the 80’s, one morning the restaurant I visited put some yellow stuff in a bowl out for my breakfast. I assumed it was butter, and slathered it on my pancakes.

        Turned out to be mustard.

      • marxalot

        It’s just oil and eggs, innit?

    • I have sciatica pain that i want to see a chiropractor for. They’ll probably have to put my leg behind my head to get the damned nerve to pop back in place.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    OT: Insurance signed off on the surgery: YAAAYY!!!!!

    Stupid surgery RPN put a date on the paperwork 2 weeks after the surgeon’s availability (so the insurance has time to approve it, or some such shit): BOOO!!!!!!

    • shastakoala

      I’ve been waiting nearly 2 months for one of the few surgeons in the northwest that perform robotic surgery. Yay for you!

      • DrBigHead

        You are a robot?

        I’ll let myself out…..

        • NastyBossetti

          I tell people my husband is a robot doctor in a laser factory. Because he fixes robots, and it makes it sound more exciting than when he says whatever his actual job title is.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Yea, I have fewer problems than you wrt robotic surgery, but this fun adventure started with 2 months of meds that I was allergic to. The good news (which really is good news) is that there are lots of studies saying that those meds were never a great idea as a strategic solution to anything, so even though now I am in pretty serious pain, I am much less liable to have kidney dialysis later in life.

        • shastakoala

          A kidney person? Me too! My right kidney is being evicted Dec. 5th due to an invasion of cancer. And not the good kind. :) Good wishes to you!

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            No, not a kidney person, a potential kidney person (hopefully not anymore, now that I am off the meds). I have an acquaintance, (not a friend, I don’t really like her) who has major issues involving kidneys, and I will say that she’s the one reason I could think of for making obscene amounts of money. Without her bankroll, I don’t know how she would be able to function at all. So, condolences. Compared to you, my issue is fairly minor and the surgery is just this side of an appendectomy in terms of safety.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    I posted a political cartoon a ways down with Obama embracing children and LaPierre embracing guns.

    Aside from the really overeager ninja onions, I wonder how the country ever deserved to have eight years of such a caring, disciplined, intelligent human being as our leader. Just had to get that off my hairy chest (and everywhere else).

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      A random fluke of the universe. The GOP is America’s natural governing party.

      • vivian

        Um, typo. “national” not “natural” … and it’s most assuredly temporary.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          You don’t think they’re emblematic of the “national” psyche that America was founded on? “Angry white guys with guns” seems to be America’s trademark whether in 1776 or the current year…

          • Part of it, but there is also the greedy white guys with land, so…not all of it!

          • vivian

            Nope. Sure, there’s always been that element, but there’s also always been a strain of thinking (see Constitution, Bill of Rights, etc.) that speaks to the better angels of our nature. And it this group that has represented America in the eyes of the world, and some good Americans, for the past century or so.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A glitch in the matrix?

      https://i.imgur.com/EGyNG8s.gif

    • We got lucky. Very, very lucky.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I sometimes wonder that if it hadn’t been for the global economic meltdown, Caribou Barbie would have been VP.

        • President Obama was the man for his time. I’m just grateful that he came along in my lifetime, that I could experience real time what he offered to the political discourse. The first real statesman as president in my lifetime.

          Whitman wrote about Lincoln riding his horse every day across DC en route to the hospital caring for the Civil War wounded. Whitman made it a point to take a break from his work at the time to stand along Lincoln’s route to offer witness to the occasion for he knew he was present for something, someone, special.

          That’s how I feel about President Obama.

      • mailman27

        And we treated him badly. Very, very badly. (when I say “we” I don’t mean “you” :)

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’ve said it before– Trump is God’s punishment on us for the way we treated Obama.

      • Steely_Fan

        There’s truth in that, no doubt. It helps me to think of it in terms of something Robert Redford said in an interview in Esquire in September: “I have faith in the pendulum swinging. Right now it’s so far against the wall that it can’t go any farther; it’s gonna start to swing back. That’s my optimism.” I think last Tuesday was the first solid evidence that it’s starting to swing back; at least I pray to FSM that it is. Here’s the link to the article:
        http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a12184470/robert-redford-2017-interview/

  • Rush is an arch-conservative.

    But his dick votes Democratic.

  • anon_the_great

    In our own Bible Belt the DA of Mason County declined to prosecute to deputies who beat the shit out of a homeless guy sleeping behind a homeless resource center. The “majority of the strikes appear to have connected with (Heflin’s) face.” It also says the officers were wearing “knuckle guard riot style gloves” which may have made the man’s injuries worse.” The DA said, the officer’s actions were ‘not inconsistent with appropriate police training and tactics.”

    http://www.theolympian.com/news/politics-government/article184454053.html

    • NastyBossetti

      I feel like the word “appropriate” has lost all meaning.

    • amrak63

      Some people with badges have no business wearing them.

      • GoutMachine

        Seems like “most” these days.

    • SisterArtemis

      Oh yes, Mason County, where many of my sorta-liberal cousins live – they’re Trey Crowder rednecks, liberal but country. They think bad things about RW idiots surrounding them.

      • shivaskeeper

        Shelton is an odd, odd place. I stay on my toes when I have to go out that way.

        • SisterArtemis

          smart.
          There are some very old grudges driving the underbelly of that place. Then again, I suppose that’s true of lots of small towns.

    • shivaskeeper

      I heard that one today. The DA says he cannot ensure a conviction so he is declining to prosecute. At least those two got fired.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    From the second I learned from a fellow Wonker that Moore was a Democrat at the time, I’ve been waiting for this moron shoe to drop. He’s now Schrodinger’s Pedophile: Both guilty as a Democrat and not guilty as a Republican. And we thought quantum physics was for smart people.

    • mackafritz

      That was a completely different Roy Moore. The Republican Roy Moore was born again and anything he did before doesn’t count.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      On that note, to hell with Roy Moore.

      I want to watch quantum smart people instead.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eak_ogYMprk

    • NastyBossetti

      Why does everything have to be so stupid all the time?!

  • Blackest Noobs

    goddamn another shooting?!? again?

    i swear im gonna find me one of those stay at home jobs and surround my home with landmines and teach the Misses to handle the 12 gauge like a fucking pro.

    • Parakeetist

      Yes

    • TJ Barke

      KSG 12?

      • Blackest Noobs

        ha ha oh my god that things looks like from a fucking video game.

        nah, bra. we are a breech load shotgun family.
        also got an ancient Marlin 1895 with a scope.

        • TJ Barke

          Not gonna save you from the fascists and their AR15s…

          • Blackest Noobs

            those dicks can’t hit the broadside of a barn. i see those fuckers at the range, and most of ’em cannot shoot for shit, dude.

            AR15s just make ’em overconfident.

            and plus booby traps.

            B O O B Y T R A P S.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9uBy2JVcj0

          • TJ Barke

            Volume of fire is a thing…

          • Blackest Noobs

            not arguing against…certainly the odds would be against but as Gram would say there is more than one way to skin a cat.
            you yojimbo these AR15 fools.

            you know give them a false sense of security. easy pickings.

    • marxalot

      Just plate the walls of the house with tank armor, that’ll keep you safe from the drive-by types.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Vote responsibly, Alabamians!

    You wouldn’t want to put any dirty pedophile Democrats into power!

    …Wait.

  • hudson

    i bet he was also running a pizza joint at the time.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Okay, time to start looking around Puerto Rico for suitcases of money.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/930577360461729792

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Suttree

      Way back when I was living in NOLA, someone found (42ish?) kgs of coke in the bushes in front of a hotel on Canal Street. They turned it in.

      • OrG

        They got 10% as a reward right?

        • Suttree

          Fuck no! They did’t get shit! Maybe a few extra beignets on Sunday.

          • Khavrinen

            I was wondering what that white powder on top was.

    • Joe Beese

      “A big W!”

  • OrG

    Gonna listen to Wooly Bully and Surfin’ Bird on repeat and smoke weed.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What a Sham.

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        Sham?
        Wow.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Shamu: an ersatz cow.

    • biologydave

      Now that’s a sensible plan

    • TJ Barke

      I can think of worse ways to spend an afternoon.

    • Wonky Magoo

      96 Tears also, too.

    • proudgrampa

      I LOVE Woolly Bully!

      https://youtu.be/OcguLZaMelE

  • amrak63

    This is rock bottom, right?

    Hannity: “Hold my beer.”

  • bubbuhh

    Australian Government has one less excuse for not legalizing same sex marriage; but, their conservative politicians vow to fuck with the process to the butt end cuz fucking teh process iz more better than same sex marriage.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/14/asia/australia-same-sex-marriage-yes/index.html

    • TJ Barke

      Can’t let them dirty queers think they’re as good as everyone else!

      • SisterArtemis

        *hangs head in shame*

        • TJ Barke

          I mean really, that’s what it’s about, maintaining privilege and denying equality.

          • SisterArtemis

            Well, how can they feel okay about themselves if everyone else is as good as them, and gets all the same stuff? Basic math, amirite?

          • Life is pie. If we allow everyone to have basic rights, I have less rights

    • SeeTrain65

      Slightly OT, peripheral:

      Results released early on Wednesday morning revealed 61% of the population voted to allow same-sex marriage, with more than 12.7 million people across the country, or 79.5% of the population, registering their vote.

      Dear Democrats: This is how you do an election. YOU GET OUT AND VOTE.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Voting is mandatory in Australia. At least in elections, not sure about referenda and things like that.

        • Hm. Wonder if 20.5% took a fine or something?

          • Bobathonic

            “Dingos ate my ballot!”

        • SeeTrain65

          Not a bad idea in that.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            We have too many cranks in U.S. America to mandate voting. Motherfuckers won’t even pull all the way up to the red light intersection out of fear the traffic cameras will be able to track the cars they actually already registered with the state. But you know, DEEP STATE!1!1!!@#1!!

            No telling what kind of weapons grade conspiracy theory stupid would come of it.

        • Dazza

          This was a survey, conducted by post and The Australian Bureau of Statistics. The survey was voluntary. Voting at the state and national elections is mandatory, not so with local elections. Australians, or nearly 80% of them, took the time and effort to answer, and 62% of respondents said “yes”.

          • …they left it up to mob rule and mob rule said fuck yes?
            Damn.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Seriously, why the fuck do wingnuts expend so much time and energy on fighting SSM??? It has absolutely no material consequence for them. It’s like hating queers is no fun if you can’t legally discriminate against them too.

      Yeah, I know it brushes up their culture warrior bonafides, which all they’ve got going for themselves.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        They are threatened by coequal relationships?

      • marxalot

        “It’s like hating queers is no fun if you can’t legally discriminate against them too.”
        DING DING DING

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      IT was a vote for freaking HUMAN RIGHTS.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Yeah, the country that put refugees in a concentration camp on Manus Island and is denying them water for “logistical reasons” doesn’t seem too stellar in the “human rights” department lately. WTF Aussie, get your shit together on this already. Canada’s going to be the first of Britain’s children to send a cryogenically-frozen clone of their PM to Mars, but they’re an outlier by far… At least, FFS, there’s no reason why you guys should be dragging your feet on upgrading to at least 2005. YOU’RE FUCKING TRAILING THE UNITED STATES ON THIS ISSUE. At this point, trailing the U.S. in anything is a bigly yuge embarrassment.

        • Australia has never been real hep on the human rights for not us.
          See also: Aboriginals

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • armed_bears

      But can Soros mail me even one check? Not at all.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Can a brother even get an S&H green stamp?

        • OrG

          You’ve outted yourself as an oldz.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Um, and everybody who thumbed you up….

    • DrBigHead

      C’mon! Don’t leave us hanging! Who got the cash??

    • OrG

      Well, it doesn’t say WHICH election campaign.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • ooooo so VERY not legal!

    • Ryan Denniston

      LOCK HER UP!!!11!

    • BigCSouthside

      Wouldn’t get fired up. Too ridiculous

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Said something similar on another thread. It’s fkn buzzfeed, fer crisakes.

  • reelreeler

    “This is rock bottom, right?”…….it’s never rock bottom with republicans

    • Zonath

      If you don’t drill on past rock bottom, how will you ever find oil?

      • Anna Rompage

        Fracking?

    • Ωbjectifier

      As I non-commented yesterday, once they hit rock bottom they start blasting.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It’s turtles all the way down….

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrG

      Will tRump sign it?

      • Maria Sewell

        Yes – it does not apply to its prevention in reality TV and/or pageants.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    NEXT: Rush confesses he was a Democrat when he visited the Dominican Republic, claims as proof

  • Michael R
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      RIP Tom Davis also too.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      She kind of peaked in the Fifth Dimension.

      Also, Sen. Al has a really cute ass.

  • Wonky Magoo

    Can we just stop having political parties?

    • SisterArtemis

      Nope. Not really, anyway. I mean, we could call them something else, but people tend to group together to get stuff done, and then down the road, you get parties, or at least organizations of people trying to advance the same agenda through political means.

    • TJ Barke

      An interesting notion.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Can we just stop having some of them?

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy
  • Ninja0980

    The yes vote for marriage equality won in Australia!
    YAY!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • SeeTrain65

      Because of course he fucking did.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Kayla Moore has a PhD in Resting Bitch Face

  • Joe Beese

    Mattel just announced its newest Shero Barbie… and it’s none other than Olympic fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad. You may remember the new Barbie inspiration from when, in 2016, she became the first woman to wear a hijab during the Olympic Games.

    https://www.purewow.com/news/mattel-launches-ibtihaj-muhammad-hijab-wearing-barbie

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/95b2799d2b716280b6a7e2db102b55b29109ca403c692a8c659431510fe8c70b.png

    • Wingnuts gonna boycott barbie now?
      Cause if so…I might need to get some stock in Matel before the holidays

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Gonna be a LOT of Republicans overcome by fumes from burning these in bonfires this Christmas.

  • bubbuhh

    Ain’t Rape… It’s GOPee Lovin Ungrateful chillunz
    Scary Texas judge scolds jury for punishing rapist: I ‘did not believe the victim was raped at all’ (cuz she related to the rapist???)

    “Quite frankly, I am disturbed,” she said. No Kidding!!!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aaaa0971a1a74df912aa18068c28ea5307bf819e99f863374873747b643263f1.png

    • Ryan Denniston

      Well, you are just the judge, not the jury.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Is she made out of plastic?

      • SisterArtemis

        vinyl, I believe.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Naugahyde or GTFO.

          • shivaskeeper

            Many Naugas died for her replacement skin.

      • shivaskeeper

        Some sort of synthetic material anyway.

    • Oh look, the soulless eyes of the conservative woman

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Let me guess: this rapist wasn’t Mexican, was he???

    • TundraGrifter

      Is she still lusting after Kermit T. Frog?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Miss Piggy libelz!

    • shivaskeeper

      How much leeway does she have in imposing the sentence if a jury found him guilty? Can she just toss the conviction completely or is there some sort of set minimum she will have to impose?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        The defense could move to set aside the verdict – it’s extraordinarily rare, and the judge better have a damned good reason beyond “I don’t agree with your decision”. Otherwise, if there is a mandatory minimum attached to the crime that is the lowest she can impose.

  • Suttree

    So, there is a plushie maker that does organs and such. I want this! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02ac104d9a82deec1a979457108fea38633db240fc803f48102560ccab362ab2.jpg

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sounds like the Republican roaches are elbowing one another to dive off the sinking USS Moore. “How could we have guessed that pedophilia would prove so unpopular?” Even Bannon is reportedly looking for a vermin hole to hide in.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I don’t normally believe in vandalizing a work of art, but I’m tempted to make an exception:

    https://twitter.com/McFaul/status/930581413627228160

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    So crawl on my belly ’til the sun goes down
    I’ll never wear your broken crown
    I took the road and I fucked it all away
    Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zBQvFbXgWU

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • shivaskeeper

      Called it earlier.

      She knew then and knows now exactly what he is and went along with it.

    • o.O

    • SeeTrain65

      Technically, only one of them had to be in High School to be her “High School Sweetheart.”

      Then again, knowing how stupid Moore is, maybe he was held back for 13-15 years.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He was a working lawyer with a combat tour behind him at 32. And apparently cheating on his wife already.

        • SeeTrain65

          Sometimes bad jokes are just bad jokes.

          Sometimes I tell them and make them worse.

        • If he was cheating on his wife at 32, she was 17…..

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, that’s her story.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
      • proudgrampa

        “Dig the hole, dig the hole, dig the hole…”

      • You should ice that burn

        I’ve been watching for like 40 minutes, why isn’t that Lab below sea level?

      • Wee Mousie

        A dog called Mueller.

    • ariel_gee_398

      She was divorced with a kid when she met Moore in 1984, when she was 23. He adopted her pre-existing daughter when they married in 1985. Math is hard, I guess.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Gross, so gross.

  • Joe Beese

    Not until this moment did I realize Moore is truly done for. If even talk radio has shifted from “he’s innocent” to “this is how Democrats behave,” then Moore’s populist base has begun to crumble beneath his feet.

    https://hotair.com/archives/2017/11/14/rush-roy-moore-democrat-allegedly-chasing-teenaged-girls-know/

    • shivaskeeper

      Never think you can count out the utter lack of morals of the White Evangelical community. Assuming they still go to the polls, he will still pull their vote en mass. My best bet is they split the GOPer vote with whoever is tossed in to be the write in candidate. Hopefully that will be enough for Doug Jones to win.

      • You should ice that burn

        Until we can get everyone to understand that “Evangelical” means “Blindly partisan poor kicker” they’ll have a lock. The whole GOP shtick is resentment based with a dose of wealth worship, Christ teaches forgiveness and to devalue Earthly riches, so how do they explain their voting habits and their apparent disregard for the teachings of the gospel?

    • Dg Hacket

      They’ve got a million more just like him

    • kaydenpat

      Hopefully you’re right about that and Jones wins in December.

  • amrak63

    I found another schoolgirl for Judge Roy:

    https://i.imgur.com/yZCCEJi.jpg

  • Joe Beese
  • Any of you Wonks know anything about prequalifying for home loans?
    This one bit a real estate agent set us up with, we went through the thing and now it wants us to sign stuff that says “application for loan” even though the LO told me it was just a pre-qualify
    I do not want a loan just yet. I just want an amount I might be eligible for so I can look at some houses and then start the fun stuff

    • jowgajen

      It will be a hard credit check anyway. You won’t get a loan until you choose a property, have it evaluated by the bank, and sign more papers.

      • Right, but I do not want to go all the way just now. Just want the prequalify thing so we can look about.
        From talking with people who went through this before, that was more a soft hit and not guaranteed either, more a general “You could probably get about this much”

        • jowgajen

          That you can do online or whatnot with a calculator. It depends on how serious you are. There’s nothing to stop you from looking at houses without this step. Unless the market is so hot that you have to be able to close on the property right away.

          • Cold market. I just don’t want to sign on to any company before I know a basic number :/ Cause I might want to wait.
            If it goes good we’d be real serious right this week. But if it is not time, we can put it off.

          • jowgajen

            So don’t yet. There’s gonna be people who try and pressure you, just don’t let them.

            Only issues would be if you 1. don’t have a very large downpayment, or 2. have poor credit history. Then you may want to shop for loan before house. Otherwise, I think there’s plenty of info out there regarding how much you can afford.

            Also, if it’s a first time home buy, check out FHA lenders and get prequalified that way.

          • Good credit (hubby’s is better) first time and no very large down deposit. I thought we were just putting in info with the outfit to check out what kind of loans they offer, how much, rates, etc etc etc, but when I saw “Sign here” and read the words “loan application” I froze on up.
            I think we just need to find a person to walk us through the entire thing. Or read home buying for dummies or something

          • jowgajen

            I think you are right. It shouldn’t be hard to get rates, you’re being jerked around. Guy has to make his quota or whatever. There’s also a big difference in rates for a 5% vs a 10% downpayment.

            As for calculators, make sure you find one that includes property tax, mortgage insurance, etc.

            Zillow, for example, is horrible about giving you a payment number that is drastically low because it doesn’t include those costs.

          • I’ve done those, like the realtor and what not, and took with a grain of salt what they said I could “afford” so I think I have a safe number in mind. I really thought you had to get pre qualfied :/ All the folks I talked to RL who bought a home in the past few years said so. Course, that was only 3 people, 1 of which I am related to.

          • jowgajen

            I liked the idea of talking to your current bank, you already have a relationship with them. Also, I think FHA loans are regulated, so there’s not likely much variance in terms and rates there.

          • Sound advice. Also, I found something on the google, prequalify is NOT pre-approval, and pre-approval does indeed require documentation and such what.
            That makes me feel better. Still don’t like the “Loan” bit in the paperwork but I’ll talk to the dude and see what he says. If he is shifty or evasive, I can walk away

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Perhaps things have changed since I bought a house back before WWI, but don’t confuse what they say you qualify for with what you can actually afford.

      • lol I know it XD We’re very very very cheap people…..but for real estate agents to take an offer serious, they wanna know you have pre qualified or some such

    • Dg Hacket

      Call your bank

      • jowgajen

        Or credit union. :)

    • OrG

      I know I leave that shit to my wife. Since you are the wife this is probably not helpful.

    • You should ice that burn

      Go to your own bank, talk to your banker, ask ’em what they’d qualify you for provided your payments don’t exceed $X* per month, then go try a local credit union that would accept your application and ask them the same thing. (bring your records)
      *X=Doable without night sweats

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ryan Denniston
      • You should ice that burn

        as is his wont

      • Delu

        Jim Jordan has no business being anywhere near elected office, no more than Trump does.

        That they both are indicates clearly where America’s true problems lie.

    • So, Sessions, you are here today to talk about any knowledge you might have about Russian interference with the election. In that light….when are you gonna start prosecuting Clinton?

    • Ryan Denniston

      No cries of Fake News? No legislative effort to stall any action? No efforts to defund unrelated programs? No attempts to use the military as human shields against opposition to your unpopular opinion?

      Also too, you don’t have any guns? If Canada doesn’t work out, I will definitely keep my eye on Australia!

    • Dazza

      Please god, make it so, Mal. Free vote, too – not along party lines.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • SNORK.
      Now that is some good trollin XD

    • I love these guys.

    • NastyBossetti

      I got MrBossetti the Trump addon deck for Christmas last year, and along with the cards, there was a post-Trump survival kit, which included: a Spanish phrasebook (filled with weird phrases), some amount of pesos, tomato seeds, and a locket. When we opened the locket, there was a picture of Obama inside it, and I nearly died laughing. It might have been the first time we had a good laugh after the election.

      • calliecallie

        Genius. After the election they also placed a want ad looking for someone to come work for them. The candidate they described had every quality and experience of Barack Obama. It was a hoot.

    • You should ice that burn

      Cards? Like Cardinals or Hoyle?

  • (Klepper plays an Alex Jones character like Colbert played a conservative)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/867363645bf8c0f8135d52b9ab770d565f617742d5bb2287407fe83b66143776.png

  • Ricky Gay

    Psst! The word on the street is Rush is bi —partisan.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Who? What? I thought Rush was a brand of Viagra.

    • No, an anal unguent. For his pilonidal cyst.

      Same one Mannity uses to prepare his lips for sucking Drumpf’s taint.

    • tehbaddr

      Rush was that weird nasal inhalant they used to sell in the head shops back in the 80’s. For kids who were to young to get booze, not savvy enough to get pot, or in elementary school.

      • Dg Hacket

        I remember we could buy it at the adult book store and they didnt care we were 16 yrs old

  • Hemp Dogbane

    When the Judge went to the mall as a Democrat Robert Byrd was his wingman.

  • kaydenpat

    And I suppose Trump was grabbing women by the p*ssy when he was a Democrat too, right Rush? **rolls eyes**

  • SeeTrain65

    Three strikes, I’m out. Bye, all.

  • Duke

    I saw this coming. The only question was who’d try it. My money was on Tucker.

  • Joe Beese

    By illuminating a pathway to power that no one had thought possible, and demolishing the civic guardrails that we assumed protected us from autocrats, Trump has paved the way for far slicker opportunists to gain access to the national stage. Imagine a presidential candidate with Trump’s views and ambitions who does not arrive with Trump’s personal baggage, his undisciplined penchant for self-incrimination, and his unsurpassed vulgarity.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/11/frank-rich-trumpism-after-trump.html

    • Ryan Denniston

      Cruz

    • hudson

      *shudder*

      seriously agree. all that has gone on behind the scenes of buffoonery, it will prolly take decades to undo.

    • NastyBossetti

      I do not like that thought experiment!

    • We’ve seen that. The past 4 decades, or so, of the GOP

  • WomanInThePersistence
    • Ryan Denniston

      Peepee shirt?

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        Also too.

    • Me The People

      The first Keurig wreckers were probably Russia paid “social media leaders”, quickly followed by the real idiots.

      • Mary

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !fe501d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetNextComunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!fe501lhhhhh

      • h4rr4r

        No, it was a False Flag operation by Keurig to sell more coffee makers!

        • Lou

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !da186:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineEasyStoreTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!da186luu

    • Sophia

      Does he have to take the bus now because he drove his Volvo off a cliff?

    • Alex Grey

      Papa Morons Pizza,

    • Alex Grey

      Enjoy your adult diapers…

    • arensb

      Keep on rollin’ coal, brother.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Me The People

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/troll-smearing-roy-moores-accuser-stole-dead-seals-identity

    The Troll Smearing Roy Moore’s Accuser Stole a Dead Navy SEAL’s Identity

    And that’s just one of a host of lies from ‘@Umpire43,’ whose attempts to
    discredit Roy Moore’s accusers went instantly viral in the Trumposphere.

    The rightwing blog The Gateway Pundit pushed a single-sourced rumor from an
    anonymous Twitter account, @Umpire43, claiming that one of Roy Moore’s accusers was offered $1,000 by The Washington Post to go public with her claims.

    That rumor quickly made its way to InfoWars and the top of r/The_Donald, the
    most active pro-Trump community on the web. The pro-Trump cable station
    One America News Network even aired the news, citing a “report.”

    But the source for that viral accusation is a serial fabulist who has been
    using the identity of a Navy serviceman who died in 2007, records show.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Such charming supporters Moore has.

    • I KNEW it was stolen valor

    • TundraGrifter

      That would explain how he joined the Secret Service after serving over 20 years in the US Navy.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Can we get them to wear funny hats with coffee makers dangling off them?

      • Amy!

        Mortarboards with K-cups at each corner?

    • Delu

      They are technically defending a defender of a pedophile.

      But yeah same thing in the end.

  • Kryptonian Canis

    If 2017 has taught me anything, it is that Rock Bottom no longer exists. They can always sink lower.

  • How about some big billboards in Alabama going
    “Alabama is ranked 45th in the country- how about NOT voting Republican at all?”

  • SeeTrain65

    Sorry. Had to come back one last time to post this image RawStory used at the top of their take on Cards Against Humanity buying property on the border.

    Just. Too. Good.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9eef4c60b2aa96c0c3dfd3996c53a1ca89c196163523b5bc8a8cefc3f237a2d3.jpg

    • They are excellent funny people XD

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You’re just leaving for the night, right?

      • SeeTrain65

        For a while. Probably back early morning or afternoon tomorrow.

        Having a touch of the downs today. Feeling kinda stupid. Need some time.

        Thanks, though.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Whew. Although I’m sorry you’re having a not great day. Fwiw, I always look forward to seeing you here. Go have a lovely, peaceful night. And take care.

          • You’re one of the most delightful people I have met in my life. And that is a proven metric shit ton of people.
            So you know

        • :snuggle:

  • Joe Beese
  • Michael R
    • Interrupted by the occasional mass shooting.

    • Ryan Denniston

      We have to keep those golf carts circulating. Can’t charge for the golf carts if the predisent isn’t driven to madness and needs to golf to get away from it all.

    • Delu

      Priorities.

      The Trumpian’s are these.

    • proudgrampa

      Circles within circles within circles…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out for now on this note–I’d agree if I thought they were capable of being embarrassed FFS:

    https://twitter.com/EdKrassen/status/930312031517007872

    • jowgajen

      It would be a scary abuse of power.

    • Delu

      What and allow them the major distraction they so desperately need? At the cost of taxpayer’s money no less?

      Tell them to put in their thoughts and prayers on Clinton being found “guilty” of such then tell them to GTFO. It’s all they deserve.

    • Amy!

      Somebody should send them Shep Smith’s demolition of that whole conspiracy.

  • Delu

    Yeah the apologies and excuses for Moor keep getting more and more screwy.

    First off, has Limbaugh forgotten that the Alabama religious would rather vote for a pedophile over a Democrat? Telling them that Moore was a Democrat once is not going to help with that.

    Plus, the “logic” of this is that “because he was a Dirty Democrat back then when he did the dirty deed, it’s ok to pretend like he never did it now that he is a pure white religious “Trumpian” and vote for him with a clear conscience”?

    So now party affiliation, and change thereof, at the time of an action determines the level of acceptance and tolerance of said action?

    Next he’ll be saying that all of the things that Donald Trump tweeted in the past that directly contradict the things he tweets today (and there’s just about one for every single tweet he makes now) doesn’t count at all because he was a “Democrat” back then.

    • OrG

      Intellectual consistency is for Liberals.

      • Capacity for intellect also too.

      • Delu

        To be fair, trying to defend the indefensible requires deviating from intellect or consistency.

    • hudson

      you are overthinking this way too much.

      • Delu

        Simply pointing out the obvious.

        Or what I believe SHOULD be the obvious.

        With Americans I can tell what’s obvious or what’s not anymore.

    • Amy!

      Maybe this isn’t so much about excusing Moore, as about distancing the Sainted and Righteous Party (praise be upon it, amen) from the inevitable splash? I can’t quite tell (Limbaugh isn’t exactly known for it, after all), but maybe this is him trying to do damage control?

      • Think it is just him blabbing that oh yeah but Democrats are worse like he always does

        • Amy!

          Oh, right. You and Delu both. That makes more sense.

      • Delu

        If they are trying to distance their sainted party from Moore, they’d be calling him out for being a dirty pedophile and telling everyone to abandon him.

        No they are distancing MOORE from his past actions. They still want him to be elected, only they don’t really like his pedophilia which they can’t QUITE deny outright, so they have to find excuses for that.

        Thus the hilarity of defending the indefensible.

  • WomanInThePersistence
    • DrBigHead

      MsBigHead sometimes refers to herself as a recovering catholic

      • Parakeetist

        I was raised Catholic. Then I escaped.

      • proudgrampa

        As a recovering Southern Baptist, I can appreciate that.

      • mancityRed6

        most Catholics don’t ever get to make the choice. that’s what baptism at birth will do for you.

        • DrBigHead

          You can always make that choice.

          • mancityRed6

            not when I wasn’t even a full month old.
            now, confirmation, yeah, no, I didn’t go through that.

          • DrBigHead

            No, you cannot make the choice not to be baptized, but it it up to the individual to accept it and everything else that goes along with it. That may come later in life, but the opportunity is there. Just have to weigh all the possibilities (family response, etc.)

    • calliecallie

      I like that they worked into it “Not that there’s anything wrong with that” about people going to church on Sunday. Good one, mate.

  • One bluetooth. Four yellow teeth.

  • Chyron HR
    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      nooooooooooooooo

    • Delu
    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • OrG

        After I got into Punk I wasn’t supposed to like ELP. But I did. I’m a rebel like that.

        • When I was into punk I was also into blues. Because fuck the patriarchy.

        • You should ice that burn

          Any music you aren’t “supposed” to like deserves another listen..

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Resistor Radio

      People only washed their hair once a week in the 50’s?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I know, ew!

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Rush Limbaugh’s lack of logic is astounding! Seriously, how on Earth does that change anything? He still did the deed. He’s still just as guilty.

  • Paperless Tiger

    A Senator’s job is to vote Aye or Nay, not grab the young ones by the nay-nay. Someone had to say it.

    • tehbaddr

      Nay-nay, nay-nay now, sing this corrosion to me?

  • Michael R
    • proudgrampa

      Yay!

    • The guy on the right tearing up is making me tear up and I’ve no onions to blame

    • christmas is canceled

      The Prime Minister said the legislating same-sex marriage should happen by Christmas after an “overwhelming” 61.6 per cent of voters supported a change to the Marriage Act in the postal survey.

      “They voted yes for fairness, yes for commitment, yes for love. And now it is up to us here in the parliament of Australia to get on with it, to get on with the job the Australian people have tasked asked to do and get this done this year before Christmas,” Mr Turnbull said.

      “I say to all Australians, whatever your views on this issue may be, we must respect the voice of the people. We asked them for their opinion and they have given it to us.

      “It is unequivocal, it is overwhelming. They are our masters, we who were elected to parliament. It is our job now to get on with it, get on with it and get this done. It is fair. The people have voted yes for marriage equality. Now it is our job to deliver it.”

    • SayItWithWookies

      That’s amazing — when it was announced they were going to have a vote, it seemed like every Aussie saw the deck stacked against Yes — it being a mail-in ballot and a bunch of other things that were apparently designed to deter a positive outcome. Way to go, Aussies!

    • TootsStansbury

      What good news. I started humming ‘You Can’t Take That Away From Me` and then I cried.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Yay!

      Weeping with joy!

    • Kateaux

      It’s just so fantastic to hear some truly good news for a change!

  • Astrologers have gotten together on the high deserts of New Mexico to update some very ancient texts…

    See first example:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4069c59942b88fe6c317b130b6d628d307a75c378aff13fc990cfca998a30c16.jpg

  • msanthropesmr
  • proudgrampa

    Congratulations, Australia!

    https://youtu.be/XfR9iY5y94s

    • Octavia Bratenpfeffer

      Thanks dahlink!

      • proudgrampa

        Oooh. You’re new. Welcome and tell me about yourself. I love an accent!

        • Octavia Bratenpfeffer

          Thank you. Unfortunately Zsa Zsa is only my stunt accent, my daily one is a fairly mild Australian one. What about you, do you have a regional accent?

          • proudgrampa

            I was born and raised in the mid-west, but every one tells me I sound like I came from Boston. Go figure.

          • Octavia Bratenpfeffer

            Heh. I’m actually originally from New Zealand and people here are, for some reason, comically astonished when they find out. “But, but… you don’t have an NZ accent!”

            The Boston thing means you don’t sound ‘r’s at the end of syllables (non-rhotic), I’m guessing?

          • proudgrampa

            You got it!

  • mancityRed6

    the good news is that the Joplin woman is eating again. I’ve got some Frick’s ham steaks, eggs will be on Friday after work. and a couple of KC strips for tacos. last night was my first time making one in a skillet. without setting off a fire alarm. tonight it’s oven. we’ll see which one is better.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Making one what?

      • mancityRed6

        steak. this is my first time without a grill in 10 years.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Be brave. What kind of skillet? I recently began cooking my steaks in cast iron (Staub brand from France). Awesome outcome.

          • mancityRed6

            Lodge iron skillet. my dad has one that’s older than him but for some reason I have to wait to get it.
            I cooked it a little too long, came out “well”. needs more study.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            I heat the skillet until I can’t stand to hover my hand over it for 5 seconds. I try to only touch the steaks 3 times – drop, one turn, remove to rest.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s not like I’m making them for plain eating. there will be cheese, and soft corn tortillas and salsa. but still, no matter what, I’m trying to impress.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Oh lovely! I made Steak Fajitas for one Girlfriend, that was a good move on my part, she was suitably impressed. That Girl could eat. :)

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            I always cook to impress. Myself if there’s no other audience.

            Two eggs over easy this morning were perfect….

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Surrender monkey steaks? How do you keep them from in the skillet?

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Wine and cheese under the shade trees of the Champs-Élysées.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Ooof. I hate changing cooking surfaces once things come out the way I want. I even stick to certain burners for things like poached eggs.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Like without a grill is unpossible.

          • mancityRed6

            tell me about it

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m not even a big meat eater, but I do about 70% of my cooking on the grill…veggies, fish etc. I’d be lost without it.

          • mancityRed6

            I am

        • Wonky Magoo

          I miss grilling; I hate apartment life. I’m one of those who’ll be out there in the snow with a spatula and a beer.

    • proudgrampa

      Pan-seared is an excellent choice. Just get that pan as hot as possible, don’t leave the pan.

      Keepin’ it rare…

    • SisterArtemis

      I made steaks for dinner last week, first time for maybe 30 years, when we always did them on the grill. I don’t have a grill now, plus it was raining.

      I ended up broiling them, and they turned out pretty damn good. Advice I found on some food blog was to get the broiler pan/grate smoking hot, about 4-5 inches from the burner (electric in my case), put the steaks on for 4 minutes each side. Simple, and I’ll definitely do it again. I’m not much of a slab-o-steak person, so cooking them this way and then slicing up for tacos sounds excellent.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      A new thing I tried a little over a week ago: sous vide. Vacuum-seal seasoned duck breasts in plastic, put them in water at exactly 130F, leave them in for 3+ hours (for some reason, the directions said 1-4 hours), then in a hot pan to sear the fat and sear the other side. Simple butter-based pan sauce and done! Friends, it was freakin incredible.

  • Sophia
    • Delu

      From one Jeff to another.

      • Sophia

        I like this Jeff better

    • Tragic Typos

      How does one post a youtube video?

      • NastyBossetti

        Just copy the link and paste it into your comment. Disqus embeds the video automagically.

      • SisterArtemis

        You just put the link in, and Disqus does the rest.

        load the youtube video up, and there’s a “share” button – open that up to get the link, or copy it from the address bar above.

        • Tragic Typos

          Holy carp, I think the easier things become the more difficult I make them.

          Thank you.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Odds that Sessions called Jeffries a “ni$$er” after his hearing today?

  • marxalot

    Stuck on the couch in the phone place waiting for them to figure out why the nice pretty new screen doesn’t, you know, work as a touch interface.

    • wait! what?

      Izit a windows 10 device?

      • marxalot

        Oh HELL no. I just want my LG G3 baaaaack. Gimme it noooow

        • wait! what?

          My condolences.

          Where do we send flowers?

          • marxalot

            I await another diagnostic.

    • DrBigHead

      I swear, the best (almost) smartphone I ever owned was a Palm Centro. No, I wasn’t able to surf the internet with ease, but it kept my schedule, contacts, texted with ease, and could be used to support the jack if I got a flat tire.

  • Picabo
    • Manhattan123

      TV’s Frank on MST3000!

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Planning my British force for Team Yankee now that my Irish Guards are underway.

    One thing I think is ridiculous about the game is they sell artillery models. 155mm Armored howitzers on the same table as a Tank Squadron or Infantry Company is silly. Artillery has to Shoot-‘n-Scoot, NATO and Warsaw Pact both had battlefield radar to direct counterbattery on artillery units.

    So I wont be buying artillery. It might hurt me in Tournament, but then, men never want to play against me or usually even talk about the games with me. Gaming While Girl is my crime, with the included offense of being a skilled painter.

    It’s fun to show my painted forces and see the Fucks get Jealous, anyway.

    • shivaskeeper

      Standard tabletop gaming does not take into account ground surveillance radar and counter battery fire. Usually artillery is just treated as a non line of sight unit.

      What game are you prepping for again? It sounds like it has a more detailed rule set.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Team Yankee, from Battlefront. It’s pretty gamey but the models are exquisite. https://www.team-yankee.com/ It seems really dumb to have Brigade or Division Assets on the same table as a Task Group, still.

        I’m also looking at Sabre Squadron http://www.sabresquadron.com/index.html

        and Battlegroup NORTHAG, which isn’t out yet.

        • shivaskeeper

          It depends. If the table has cover you can keep them behind, it’s nice not exposing units to fire to shoot without needing LOS. Game artillery is usually very effective anti-infantry units with the bonus of being non LOS.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            You’re correct on that. One thing I want are Swingfire missiles, I can place them behind the Irish Guards and they can shoot remote while the crews are Gone-to-Ground. Swingfire was a damned good anti-tank system.

            I think instead of artillery I’ll rely on Harriers. https://www.team-yankee.com/hobby.aspx?art_id=5240

            “On target, Red Leader. Piece of cake, yes?”

          • shivaskeeper

            May the dice gods always bless you with good rolls when you need them

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Thank you. :) I plan to rely on Chieftain tanks and Irish Guards morale.

            Hopefully I get to play someday, but at least the Irish Guards are in-progress.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      What about a mortar platoon with L16s?

  • Michael R
    • Delu

      Like a drug addict or smoker who can’t quit, Trumpians can’t quit trying to repeal Obamacare.

      • Zonath

        It’s the dopeioid crisis.

        • Roadstergal

          *epic rimshot*

        • “Look, this glue ain’t gonna sniff itself!”

        • You should ice that burn

          Will steal, permission or not, the “Dopeioid Crisis” is THE THING

      • OrG

        Worse. Smokers and addicts will have actual physical withdrawal.These fuckers can quit anytime they want.

        • Delu

          Maybe they are suffering from withdrawal hence this sort of shit is pulled?

    • proudgrampa

      I’m there, Senator!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Doesn’t that violate reconciliation rules? You can’t have major policy changes, you certainly can’t get it through without the multiple committees involved in ACA.

      • OrG

        Rules are for Democrats.

      • Michael R

        It seems they constantly try illegal methods .

      • proudgrampa

        Rules? They don’ got to follow no steenkin’ rules!!!

    • TootsStansbury

      And then, the murders began.

    • TJ Barke

      Republicans are basically criminals.

  • shivaskeeper

    On Oct 3, 1993 the events 75th Rangers, Delta Force, and 160th SOAR, started the operation in Mogadishu Somalia that was chronicled by Mark Bowden in 29 parts in the Philadelphia Inquirer, then collected and rewritten by Bowden for the book in 1999 and made into a pretty good movie in 2001 written by Bowden and directed by Ridley Scott.

    In the movie there is a character in the Rangers, SPC John “Grimesy” Grimes. A clerk who goes out on the mission, his first experience in combat, and ultimately is awarded the Silver Star, the countries 2nd highest award for valor.

    The problem is John Grimes doesn’t exist. The person the character is based on is John “Stebby” Stebbins. He was the clerk who became the warrior who was awarded the Silver Star. Depending on who you ask you will get a different answer for why they changed his name. Bowden and Scott both say the DoD asked them to change the name and the studio says it was because there were over 100 troops involved in the mission and only 40 speaking parts, so they made Grimes a composite character.

    The studio’s answer rings false to me, There is no way someone who earns an award like that gets a name change in the movie. Unless they are an embarassment for something else.

    In Jun 2008 Stebbins was convicted of sodomy with a child under 12 and rape. He is currently serving a 30 year sentence at Ft Leavenworth. He is a prisoner who was reduced in rank and forfeits all pay and allowances until he is finally put out with a DD once his sentence is up. And he still holds the country’s second highest award for valor.

    What’s the point? Today the narrative on Moore has started to change to “He can’t be a child molester because… insert the talking point reason here, so therefore he is good/kind/loving. godly man”. His defenders, including his wife, are deliberately trying to muddy the water. They are trying to pretend he cannot both be the archetype of the Southern Bible Believing Christian in public and a child molester in private. They are trying to set the narrative that one things cancels out the other. Don’t let them get away with it. Just like Stebbins’ conviction does not change his heroism in battle, his heroism in battle does not in any may mitigate him being a child rapist.

    • Delu

      If anyone wants to push this sort of fallacy, give them this example:

      Adolf Hitler served in the German Army in World War 1. He was wounded in battle and also decorated for heroism.

      We all know what he did during World War 2, so no need for elaboration there.

      Now then, to anyone who wants to push this sort of shit, give them this example, then ask them if Hitler’s heroism back in World War 1 should excuse his deeds during the era of World War 2.

      See their response.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      I met a man whom was a Ranger in Eversmann’s Chalk, fast-roping out not long before the one kid was hurt.

      I have always heard that DOD required the change to Grimsy, the movie was released during the run up to OIF 1.

      • shivaskeeper

        Pretty sure the DoD was involved. Bowden says he rewrote the script and name when they asked explained why. The studio never copped to that. They didn’t want to seen as bending to the DoD on it, so claimed it was an executive creative decision or some such.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I am always amazed at your knowledge and awareness of military matters.

        Cheers, fellow Coloradan.

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          Thank you, it’s my passion. I just watched “Blackhawk Down” again last week.

          • Doug Langley

            Trivia fact: it won the Oscar for film editing.

          • shivaskeeper

            Sound mixing as well.

          • Doug Langley

            You are correct! I used to be a real Oscar fanatic, now not so much.

          • shivaskeeper

            I looked that bit up,

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            I think it should have won for more. I can’t watch the scene where Delta snipers Shughart and Gordon die to save pilot Mike Durant without crying.

            I have a book written by Mike Durant, he’s probably alive today because of Shughart and Gordon.

    • mancityRed6

      a friend of mine drove a boat to get Seals to the beach. there were lights all over and no one knew who they were.
      they were journalists. already there before the Seals landed.

      • Arolpin

        I was watching it happen from a NATO base on the eastern edge of Naples as we were waiting for the bus to take us back to the ship (needed repairs, so we took the helicopters to the NATO base so we could keep burning flight hours, you have to fly a LOT to burn 1200 flight hours in a six-month cruise with 2 birds).
        We got on the ship, pulled out of port, heading up to the Adriatic for Bosnia OPS followed by liberty in Triest. We hadn’t even cleared Naples harbor when the skipper came on the 1MC to tell us that our plans had been changed. We were 3 miles off the coast of Mogadishu within 72 hours, where we stayed for the next 10 weeks or so.
        All of the international forces (military, political, humanitarian) were evacuating, but the fighting had taken out the air traffic control radar at the airport. Between the radar on the ship, the radar on the helicopters, and the data link connecting them we were able to run all the ATC for the airport until we were finally relieved by another ship, which meant we got to do both Christmas & New Years Hurgada, Egypt, but we did get to go to the Seychelles for a liberty port, so that made up for Hurgada.
        For the first couple weeks after the attacks in Mogadishu, there were hundreds of NGO employees on the ground there, and a lot of reporters. I do wonder how they knew the Seals were coming, but unless they did a submarine insertion, it’s hard to hide a ship.

  • christ. AGAIN with the ACA what the FUCK is wrong with these people?!?!

    • TJ Barke

      The rich must be allowed to ream the poor as hard as physically possible otherwise it’s tyranny.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Mother of God! Just saw clips of this Jim Jordan motherfucker in the hearings today. Do Republicans have a secret facility under a Wal-Mart where they BREED these fucking idiots? Dude makes Trey Gowdy look like Robert Oppenheimer.

    • Delu

      Dude makes me wonder what sort of people would elect him into office.

      Same as the sort that elected Trump I guess.

    • janecita

      You mean that saying that Sessions had “come to Jesus moment,” isn’t the appropriate thing to say?

    • Sophia

      Saw him on CNN one morning. Couldn’t believe it was real.

    • Manhattan123

      Some choice quotes from a recent Politico interview with former Republican Speaker John Boehner as he was asked to comment on former colleagues, including Jim Jordan:

      “Fuck Jordan…(he’s an) asshole.”

      “A terrorist. A legislative terrorist. Jordan was a terrorist as a legislator going back to his days in the Ohio House and Senate,” Boehner told Politico.”

      Yup, sounds about right.

    • counterlife

      I think they aren’t bred as much as spawned and brought to maturity in petri dishes stored on the cracked and dirty lids of toilet tanks bathed in the yellow/green light of a men’s room in an abandoned roadside Texaco. Maybe.

  • nightmoth

    When you think they’ve hit rock bottom, they bring out the mining equipment.

    • Amy!

      Pretty sure they’re using explosives, to blast their way down faster.

  • calliecallie

    Remember Gary Hart and Donna Rice? Now that was a scandal that could take a candidate down. A boat ride with an unmarried woman. Horrifying.

    • wait! what?

      …and she sat on his knee like a common Ivanka.

    • Ryan Denniston
      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        For the mangoes are divine.

      • Resistor Radio

        What. The. Fuck.
        ???!!!!!!

    • mancityRed6

      Gary Hart would have been a game changer in the world of politics.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, maybe in a vacuum. He had that weird inability to realize that he couldn’t do what all the Republicans were doing because Democrat.

        • mancityRed6

          *looks at Clinton*
          *looks at Obama*
          yeah, there’s a power structure here and the Dems mainly play it according to the rules.
          not that it’s ever time for anything radical, but come on.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Hey, I have the rare distinction of having hopefully voted for Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, and John Edwards. Every time, I just assumed that they were brilliant so they _weren’t that stupid_

    • You should ice that burn

      Witnesses described Snogging..so yeah, if you can’t put a ring on it first you shoul..wait..never mind.

    • You should ice that burn

      That was back when people liked their candidates super-human.

    • Meccalopolis

      When asked who she voted for, Rice replied, in my heart it’s Bush but in my bush it’s Hart

      • calliecallie

        LOL

    • You should ice that burn

      Funny how the scolds have turned out so naughty..ok, not funny ha-ha, funny stupid and needlessly harmful.

  • shivaskeeper

    Are congratulations in order for Oz this evening? I think I saw that congratulations are in order.

    • You should ice that burn

      Cheers Ozzies! If I had a Foster’s I’d quaff it proudly!

    • Parakeetist

      Mazel tov

  • Blender_415

    I’ve been a lifelong Democrat, and I never attempted to rape a child. Guess I’ve been doing it all wrong. And Rush can so eat a 55-gallon drum full of salted rat dicks.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      that have been marinating in hydrochloric acid for days.

      • amrak63

        Even that would not be enough acid to neutralize the bitterness in that man.

      • Bobathonic

        Lutedicks?

        • Suttree

          Needz moar rotten shark meat.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Because who doesn’t love a big, mostly thawed, dripping package of hakarl?

            Oh yeah, that would be me.

        • amrak63

          [pedant]I thought lutefisk was prepared with strong base, not strong acid.[/pedant]

    • nightmoth

      I fear that salted rat dicks just make him stronger.

    • mancityRed6

      what’s wrong with honey roasted?

      • redarmyzombie

        Too good to waste on wingnuts like Limpballs.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey, it’s selling out fast, but Cards Against Humanity is buying land on the TX border and hiring an eminent domain attorney. Also, your holiday present person gets six presents by mail.

    • jesterpunk

      Do they also send 55 gallon drums of lube to Trump if there are enough donations?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        oh god.

        There are mental images that make you sad.

      • Sophia

        Gifts are a surprise so you never know they might. However according to their FAQ: ARE THESE SURPRISES GOING TO EMBARRASS ME OR THE PERSON WHO’S GETTING THEM?
        The surprises contain no sexual content, graphic violence, or footage of Donald Trump watching Russian prostitutes urinate on a bed Obama slept in. They do have some naughty words, though.

        • jesterpunk

          I dont mean send that to me, send the gifts to Trump himself. Just like they sent the Oregon militia people.

          • Sophia

            You can send the surprises to anyone, I just don’t think he’ll be getting the lube. However knowing Cards Against Humanity I don’t think many of them would be too flattering to Trump so if the W.H. would actually deliver them it might be worth the $15.00..

    • NastyBossetti

      I ordered this for MrBossetti, and I’m feeling a bit of trepidation because I had to fill out a survey about him. One of the questions was who you voted for. I had to select “didn’t vote,” but it’s because he’s not a citizen, but I’m afraid to think what he’s going to get in the mail because of that answer!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I answered those randomly.

        • NastyBossetti

          Smart!

    • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

      Not doing so well in the court of public opinion, either.

  • Picabo
  • wait! what?

    The Australian revolution needs some dance music.

    https://youtu.be/BHGaW8lBlSk

  • Ilgattomorte

    He’s right. When I was a Democrat I used to rape innocent puppies, without their consent. But, then I became a Republican.

    Now I just blow older dogs and I always ask first. So it’s totally different.

  • MizzMazz
    • calliecallie

      Hey, my Gary Hart comment was premature!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I long for the simpler days of vegan babby buttholes.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      As always, he’s spot on. I shall join him in a cup of “tea”.

      • MizzMazz

        Wouldn’t he be fun to have tea with?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          OMG, that would be amazing!

    • calliecallie

      OMG, someone help me, I have fallen down a Randy Rainbow wormhole in the internet…so many videos…ahhhh…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Enjoy them. Because they are marvelous. These days, we all need to find the good things.

      • MizzMazz

        I love him:)

  • I am attempting to plan a trip to Ottawa in December (Canadian travel, not for the easily scared or frozen)

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Me The People

      Deplorable is way too nice a word.

    • Rick Hill

      Also, note that Democrats lose their seats, republicans have them stolen

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Pretty sure those are bots. They sound way too similar.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        how would that be different than Trump trolls more generally

  • Nounverb911
    • Blanche de Shambles

      Good on ya, Aussies!

  • Juan de Fuca

    I saw a “Democrat” on CNN who grew up with Roy Moore and defended him as a person (seriously) but said he couldn’t vote for him because Roy’s a Republican. Something tells me that guy, the Democrat, and some other Democrats like him in Gadsden, AL agree with Roy Moore on just about everything except the name of their party.

    That’s why I still call them called Dixiecrats.

    • shivaskeeper

      As long as he’s not voting for him. Right result for the wrong reasons.

    • OrG

      Sounds like he’s lying to me.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Reason 4902 to hate the GOP tax plan.

    Their plan, if you mean by plan, the desire to plunder and pillage what is left of the USA–the plan would have grad students pay more in taxes. On NPR tonight, MIT grad students would see a 300% rise in taxes because for those who get a tuition waiver (like I did), the value of tuition would be considered income and at MIT now, that’s 50K a year despite most grad students making 30K.

    HOW FUCKING STUPID IS THE GOP?

    https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2017/11/14/563130814/heres-how-the-new-tax-plan-could-hurt-graduate-students

    • OrG

      I’ll assume that’s a rhetorical question.

    • Amy!

      If your goal is to reserve education (and the concomitant opportunities) to rich kids, it’s genius.

      Evil genius.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I can only assume they assume the universities would pick up the tab.

        But the plan if enacted, would almost destroy higher education in many fields.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Reduces the influence of those liberal professors in those ivory towers.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      see wot happens when you don’t vote?

    • Gosala

      Moore stupid than they know by declaring it income, they’re giving grad students grounds to be declared employees and therefore unionizable.

      That’s how it happened at SUNY in the 1980s.

      How do I know? I was there.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, totally wanting all those value-added jobs not to go to visa candidates.

  • redarmyzombie

    Man, syphilis is one hell of a drug…

  • Oneofthebobs

    Does this mean that “it’s OK if you’re a Democrat”?

  • Nounverb911
  • alwayspunkindrublic
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ha! I got that toy for Drublic Jr. when he was a tyke. He loved Wallace and Grommit.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          I so want that. And I don’t care how many sheep try to stop me.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      She’s just lovely.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        She spent he day with her boyfriend Kevin the Groomer last Thursday.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Molly is always lovely. By definition.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            She definitely smells better.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And now I realize that Thor needs a bath.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I bet that’s a little easier to manage with him than with Molly. She won’t let me even think of giving her a bath.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            There are advantages to having a 13 pound, low-lying dog. He mostly just gets kind of martyry. Sound like Molly has a much better time. Which she certainly deserves.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            Cats.

            Self-bathing, come when called, can be left in charge of the house for a weekend… Yup, cats.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan
          • WomanInThePersistence

            Those are very cute looking kitties. Nothing wrong with that.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Shower you with affection, follow you to the end of the earth, willing to lay down their lives your you….yup, dogs.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            The Boys are all about showering us with affection, and follow us like they are on strings (and literally are, when we take them out for walks) but, yeah, no interest in that “laying down life” thing – they’re enjoying it far too much to stop using it!

            Oh, and “yaaaaay dogs!” I’m quite happy other folks have them so I don’t have to; I like visiting with them, but wouldn’t want to live with them.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      oooh, Airedale?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Finest kind!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          My mom had a few of them. She’s horribly bad at dogs, but they were still fiercely protective of my kid.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They’re extremely loyal and protective. Wicked smart too. They can be real stinkers without proper engagement and supervision.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Yeah, mom used to reward them for whining, so not as obviously appealing as they might have been, but fiercely loyal, and (as long as she wasn’t anywhere nearby) really intuitive and smart.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Without mental stimulation and engaged activity, they get easily bored and turn their energies to running your life…in a bad way.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Think how many problems we could solve just by not electing sex abusers. Why, that’s half-way to good government, right there.

  • Gosala

    WTF does party affiliation mean? A pederast is a pederast is a pederast.

    • Ryan Denniston

      But at least he’s not… A DEMOCRAT!

      • shivaskeeper

        DemonRAT.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “What’s a pederast, Walter?”

      “Shut the fuck up, Donnie!”

    • Sophia

      Yea but he’s their pederast

  • Picabo
    • Ryan Denniston

      I really wish Trump would take the time to rant on Twitter about how North Korea got away with killing such a fine American.

      • wait! what?

        …and in an alternate universe where Henry Blake didn’t die on M*A*S*H:

        “Donald shot down his own administration over the Sea of Japan. It spun in…
        …there were no survivors.”

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Dear FSM, how I loved that show.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I still do.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy
  • wait! what?
  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, there seems to be a coup going on in Zimbabwe. I was about to say that things couldn’t get much worse there, but thought better of it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Great, now Trump will fire Sessions and appoint Robert Mugabe.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Mugabe’s not dumb enough to have Assmouth for a boss. If Sessions gets the heave-ho we’ll just have a succession of acting AGs until 2021.

    • i know right? i just can’t figure out who it is? his ex? the military?

      for sure it’s not the opposition.

  • bubbuhh

    RNC withdraws from fundraising agreement with Roy Moore campaign
    To make up short fall, Moore will fondle your babies for a dollar

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/14/politics/rnc-roy-moore-campaign/index.html

  • Major_Major_Major

    Dearest Rushy-poo,
    Ray (sic) was, like so many of his southern brethren, a Reagan Democrat. You may ask your corpulent ass where all the Reagan Democrats went. To which I answer, the conservative wing of your beloved party. Now feel free to pop a handful of viagra and bugger yourself raw, needledick.
    Kindest regards,
    M^3

    • Lefty Wright

      I would bet that there are people in Alabama still registered as Democrats who have not voted for a Democrat in 20 years. That was why when the Naderites claimed it wasn’t them who caused Gore to lose Florida, it was the 500,000 Democrats who voted for Bush. When in fact, they were the same Democrats who voted for Reagan and Daddy Bush. And who voted for McCain, Romney, and Trump.

  • Train tickets Booked! Heading to Ottawa, in December. Like all sane people!

    • Raan

      Can you ask why they all come to Florida for the winter, but like, no Quebecois come?

      • Sophia

        When I was in Florida they were all at Sunny Isle in Miami Beach. Not there anymore?

        • Raan

          Quebecois or Ontarioans?

          • Sophia

            Quebecois. Mind you that was around 25 years ago.

        • miss_grundy

          Don’t they also descend on Ft. Lauderdale??? At least they did when I lived in Miami.

          • Sophia

            Could have. I didn’t make it up that far often.. I was more Miami Beach, Bal Harbor area.

      • Because, if there’s anything Quebecois hate more than English Canada, it’s Americans

        • Raan

          That’s about what I suspected.

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Then why the hell are they here? This year’s invasion has started…

  • Picabo
    • Resistor Radio

      That was a nice breath of fresh air, thank you.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      My Mom had a print of this in our Living Room for years. :)

    • Manders

      I know it’s kind of cliché to love Monet, but I do adore the water lilies.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Reminds me of a bad pun from my college daze’: “I have no Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        THERE ARE NO BAD PUNS ON WONKETTE

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Until now.

        • Arolpin

          I’ve got a whole Basquiat of bad puns for you.

    • Wow. He’s really old, isn’t he?

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    “He never did it, but there’s nothing wrong if he did do it, and IF what he did was wrong it’s because he was a Democrat. NOW, LET’S TALK ABOUT JUANITA BRODERICK, YOU DISGUSTING HYPOCRITES.”

  • Manders

    Hey all:
    A sort of survey question for you: Someone in a Twitter convo says that society is divided and we live in a culture of violence. and that we should all try to get along because in this thing together.
    You notice this persons’s username is @[X]forpepe. What would your first thought be?

    • OrG

      Fuck off asshole.

    • NastyBossetti

      Kneejerk reaction? They are part of the problem.

    • Major_Major_Major

      My first thought? Kindly go stick your dick in your ear and piss off. But maybe the last year has made me a little short tempered.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “I really expected your dad to be indicted by now.”

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Well, since in most Latin countries the name Pepe is a diminutive form for the name Jose, and since he seems to be advocating for some kind of sanctuary situation, I’d guess your friend is Messicun and should be deported immediately.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      My first thought would be “How the fuck did I get on Twitter?”

    • Jenny

      “Oh fuck you.” – first response
      But, I ran into a 13 year old (friend of son) who had a pepe drawing he was showing my son. I said Hey! Why you got a Pepe?? He said it was cool, awesome troll face that everyone uses. And how do I know about Pepe, you mom person?

      I said I know because this mom is a real life internet troll and did you know Pepe is used in racist and anti-jew pictures and is now considered a symbol of hate?

      No he didn’t know that! He’s not racist or hateful, just a dumb kid with too much free time. He thought it would be fun to fit in with the Pepe memes.

      There’s a number of impressionable kids like that picking this dank memes crap up off random comments on youtube, etc. They don’t have the skills to filter all this stuff out. I’m going to guess 15% of the adult population lack the skills too.

      I need to just walk around with “the more you know” meme. Might help some people out.

      • Manders

        You know, I wondered that, too.

        So, I pointed out, non-aggressively, that this person’s stated desires and username are sort of at odds, because Pepe is a racist meme.
        First response; “no one cares about your opinion, lady!”
        (I point out that it’s not an opinion.)
        Second response: Pepe is *actually* a cartoon frog that became a meme!
        (I point out that’s true, but Matt Furie also hates that his frog became the meme so much that he killed it in the cartoon,)
        Third response: “You think I’m racist!’
        (I say no, I think the meme is racist. I ask him why he uses it.)
        Fourth response: “Well, honestly, I keep it up as a litmus test, to see who judges people based on appearance. Which you failed.’

        • Manders

          I don’t think this . . . guy, it’s a guy . . . is a kid.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          What a convincing argument! For stupid people.

          • Manders

            “I paint a swastika on my forehead and then expect decent, kind people to ignore it and treat me like everyone else! Anyone else who doesn’t is a bigot themselves!”

            That was pretty much what I thought. But one-on-one, I started to feel like he might have a point. Which is why I asked you all.

          • Arolpin

            The only response worth giving is ‘If you wear a swastika, expect to be thought a nazi. Nazi punks fuck off.’

          • WomanInThePersistence

            If you were reacting to not-chosen appearance stuff, like color, gender, ethnic markers, and certain religious garb, then he would have had a point. (I’m generally pretty forgiving on the religious garb thing, although it can be argued the other way.)

            He chose a meme that is noxious. So noxious that it’s creator tried to kill it off. He. Chose. That. Honestly, walk away from this asshole. If somebody shows up to a party in full Gustapo uniform, hell to the fucking yes I would judge them on their appearance.

          • Manders

            Yeah. I basically ended with: “If you masquerade as racist it’s very hard for people to tell you apart from an actual racist. Life is short and hard. There are going to be all kinds of people who never even try to talk to you because you have a virtual swastika tattooed on your forehead. If you really want to be in it together with everyone, you might consider removing it.”

            And then I muted the asshole.

        • Jenny

          The entire human race fails at that. Hence the need for the parable.

          But yeah probably some 25 year old white dude trolling on Twitter between whining about not getting laid

          • Manders

            Could be. I really don’t care what his actually identity is. I just try to point out racist stuff to other white folks when I see it. Not people, stuff.

            Unfortunately, most of the people I point it out to react about as well as this guy.

    • TJ Barke

      That their real intent is more along the lines of “Get in line and obey your betters, liberal scum.”

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      They are likely only saying that to get you to start conceding points. They’ll continue to move the goalposts later as they try to get you to agree there’s nothing wrong with having pride in your nationality, or some other bigot-normalizing shit.

      • Resistor Radio

        My first instinct is that they’re trolling, but without really able to say what their agenda is. I need to remember your analysis. I really do try to find SOME kind of common ground with people, but in this day and age it’s naive to assume randos on the internet are coming from a sincere place.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Ted Lieu is damned lucky he can’t be sued for suggesting that answering a question in two entirely contradictory ways is the same as lying.

    • Apple Scruff

      I love that he has no filter.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Ted Lieu is a treasure. We may have lost the World Series but we’ve got a deep bench when it comes to what matters the most.

  • vivian

    Right. Guy is a serial predator of underage girls, and Rush’s main concern is who the guy votes for.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Southern Democrat” also too. Ex.: Strom Thurmond, George Wallace, Bull Connor.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Until I moved to New England I was a Southern Democrat, but the post Reagan good kind.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I should’ve said “Dixiecrat”.

          • Major_Major_Major

            No worries, I knew what you meant. I delay with those fuckholes for 38 of my 43 years. Thankfully, most of them have now switched over to the GOPT, and the remaining D’s are either very liberal, or in rural areas R-lites.

    • Rick Hill

      I think it’s part of his ploy. He always mentions that whoever has the latest scandal was a Dem. Folks don’t pay any more attention than what party they are. Watch it, at some point in the future they’ll claim trump was the first Democratic president to be impeached

  • Michael R
  • Ilgattomorte

    In case you guys haven’t heard, there’s a robocall going around in Alabama that pretends to be from the “Washington Post”, looking for women age 54-57 who want to make accusations against Roy Moore, for a reward of $5,000 – $7,000. This thing is soooo ridiculous and transparent that I’m sure Alabama Republicans will see right through it and believe every word. It goes something like this (with my own exaggerated embellishments):

    “Hello,
    I’m Jewie Jewerstein, from the Washington Post. We are calling to see if there are any middle aged women who want to accuse Roy Moore of sexual molestation for $5,000 – $7,000. We will do no research or background checking. All you have to do is accuse Roy Moore and collect your money.

    We, the Jews at the Washington Post, want nothing more than to pay you for your baseless allegations. No experience required. All you have to do is lie. So, if you want our Jew money, please contact us at the Washington Post and we will pay you to accuse Roy Moore.”

    Okay, my quote is bullshit, but the story is real.

    http://nypost.com/2017/11/14/phony-alabama-robocall-tries-to-get-dirt-on-roy-moore/

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It sounded like a 5 year old doing what a Nazi told them was a “NY Jew” accent. I smell Breitbart.

    • Ryan Denniston

      It’s a shame that they resort to such dirty tactics, when we all know that sending thoughts and prayers would be far more effective.

    • Juan de Fuca

      That doesn’t sound kosher.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’ll bet Treyf Gowdy is behind it.

      • LA Julian

        He’s a Powerpuff Girls baddie, too.

        Really.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Jewie Jewerstein……..now that’s a name I can trust!

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      The sad / scary part? How much of your quote is actually verbatim.

      • Juan de Fuca

        It’s almost like a group of people are trying to set up their fellow Americans or something. I wonder which side might be funding such a deplorable thing…

        • LA Julian

          And Kayla Moore was talking about this, before the call was recorded and played on the news, claiming that as ‘proof’ that the evil Dems were trying to destroy her husband. Hmmm….

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Hillary Soros?

          • LA Julian

            No, no, Emmanuel Goldstein!

    • LA Julian

      What’s REALLY interesting is that before this was made general knowledge, MRS. Moore was telling everyone that THE LEFT was out there soliciting dirt on her husband by phone, offering CASH 4 TRASH.

      Which is some suspiciously neat timing AND one hell of a coincidence, what?

  • Sophia
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Viktor

      Social Media Director Dan Scavino barely knows how to use a phone, the guy is dumb

    • proudgrampa

      I’ll tell ya: These assholes will stop at nothing.

  • Doug Langley

    I’ve been posting so much bad news (including today’s stolen check adventure) that I decided to mention something positive.

    Last week: need new glasses, so called my clinic to get eye exam.
    Yesterday: went to clinic. “Oops, sorry, I don’t know who told you we do eye exams. But while you’re here, let’s stick a needle in you and draw blood.
    Today: phone call. They tell me my cholesterol is down and my pre-diabetes level is down. Good work!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      :) Good to hear, Doug!

    • janecita

      Yay!!

    • proudgrampa

      Keep up the good work!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Jesus. Not only is all news other than FOX biased, now even news they don’t like that is on FOX is biased.

    https://twitter.com/limabean002/status/930536168961212418

    • TJ Barke

      And Jim, you are clearly an ignorant simpleton, get out of my country, so liberals, i.e. real Americans, can Make America Great Again.

    • shivaskeeper

      Fine. Let them retreat even further into their bubble. Reality could give a fuck less what bullshit they have made up

    • janecita

      He is dont motherfuckers! Dont!!!

    • VirGinYa

      I watched a clip of Shep Smith destroying the “Uranium One” fiction. It was glorious.

    • Crank Tango

      Him don’t with that show.

      • vivian

        Does he like his steak well don’t?

        • Crank Tango

          Knowing that guy? Definitely.

    • Jenny

      He dont with that show! Completely dont!

    • Me The People

      They really think they can deny reality just by shouting “FAKE NEWS” at it every day.

    • proudgrampa

      I’m dont here! Absolutely dont!

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      HA! Like, where the fuck are you gonna go, Trump-gumper?

      REALITY IS COMING FOR YOU

  • Rick Hill

    “Ah answered all questions that I understood.”

    “Oh, you meant Russian citizen, not whether or not he was in a hurry to git somewheres”

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Welcome to Kiri’s Framing Clinic!

    Lots of people don’t know what these plastic triangular things are:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0026a2e8aa674ac8eb6276c7f5ae2aa52ed03ed2768890fc557fe4bf240d8a3f.jpg

    Those are stretcher bar keys, and they’re used for tightening the canvas if it ever goes slack. They’re installed by tapping them into the slots in the corners, like this:

    https://img-aws.ehowcdn.com/877x500p/s3.amazonaws.com/photography.prod.demandstudios.com/2f621516-efd8-432b-b0ff-1492d552cc4c.jpg

    So, if you ever find these on the back of a new pre-stretched canvas, don’t lose them.
    At some point you might need them.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ah! Good to know!

      • proudgrampa

        I get all my news, weather, and art preservation tips from Wonkette!

    • bbayliss

      They used to be wood.

  • Blackest Noobs

    yeah. i feel sad for these people. i won’t have any true sympathy for ’em. but Lordy, they’re a sad sack, they really are….

    facebook transcript.

    Wayne S Pelletier Vote Moore or the establishment. Let that be known in Alabama
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 75 · 6 hrs
    Manage
    Judge Roy Moore for U.S. Senate
    Judge Roy Moore for U.S. Senate Good point there Wayne .
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 28 · 6 hrs
    Manage
    View more replies
    Martha Wofford Taylor
    Martha Wofford Taylor Judge Moore, we the people of Alabama, will decide who we believe when we vote December 12.
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 57 · 6 hrs
    Manage
    Judge Roy Moore for U.S. Senate
    Judge Roy Moore for U.S. Senate You are right Martha the people of Alabama will decide. Thank you for your support
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 41 · 6 hrs
    Manage
    View more replies
    Hannah Lexington
    Hannah Lexington Good for you, Judge Moore. Please sue the women too. They need to understand that taking money to destroy someone has repercussions. We support you Judge Moore.
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 72 · 6 hrs
    Manage
    42 Replies · 4 mins
    Derriel Anderson
    Derriel Anderson Wtg Roy! Fight on! They did the same thing to president Trump! They will jump off a cliff to do what they can to keep a Christian from being elected! Sue their pants off!
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 46 · 6 hrs
    14 Replies · 7 mins
    Abuelita Bit
    Abuelita Bit THESE are NOT FACTS. Nor do I think these women should be believed -I do not believe them. $$$$ talks. HE IS INNOCENT until proven guilty.
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 47 · 6 hrs
    30 Replies · 5 mins
    Janet Allison Why didn’t some of these girls mom and dad’s do something about him if this was true if it was my daughter I would have shot him
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 30 · 6 hrs
    22 Replies · Just now
    Nathan Criswell
    Nathan Criswell We’re with you, Judge! These are the same tricks used by WaPo against DJT last year. God Bless!
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 40 · 6 hrs
    Manage
    12 Replies · 4 mins
    Phillip Wayne Wright
    Phillip Wayne Wright Bring them down Roy Moore.
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 28 · 6 hrs
    5 Replies · 17 mins
    Michael Love
    Michael Love I think Roy Moore did know these women, but I also think this is a political scam, like the russians. The democratic party will stop at nothing to interfere with Trump, conservatives, and christians. This is a multi-million dollar scam.
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 35 · 6 hrs
    20 Replies · 6 mins
    Leah Miller
    Leah Miller Then sue them today not next year—TODAY!!
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 14 · 6 hrs
    3 Replies · 4 hrs
    Pam Nobles
    Pam Nobles He needs to sue them
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 20 · 6 hrs
    15 Replies · 6 mins
    Roger Mccalpin
    Roger Mccalpin Good for you Judge Moore
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 15 · 6 hrs
    7 Replies · 2 mins
    Dex Hansard
    Dex Hansard #SupportRoyMoore, #DrainTheSwamp, #GetRidOfTheRINOs
    LikeShow more reactions · Reply · 11 · 6 hrs
    3 Replies · 28 mins

  • jaspersdad

    When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men in a society, over the course of time they create for themselves a legal system that authorises it and a moral code that glorifies it.

    – Frédéric Bastiat

  • Gosala

    Dear Rush,

    No one cares what you think on account of you’re a pervy pervert your own self

    Bye,
    Felicia

    • bbayliss

      Dear Rush,
      Most of us thought you were dead.
      Bye
      Felicia

      • Arolpin

        Dear Rush,

        The rest of us have realized that god has forsaken us, otherwise Lot’s suffering would be as a paper cut to you.

        Bye,
        Felicia

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Because we were talking about the film below:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8H-5E_i7b8

  • janecita

    Love is Love!🌈

    Australians decisively support same-sex marriage
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-41992344

  • Viktor

    Rush Limbaugh’s cereal bowl of Vicodin and Viagra in chocolate milk is the breakfast of champions.

  • Picabo
    • Ryan Denniston

      I like how the deck is pointed down, instead of up like the later ski slope carriers.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        It was just a platform temporarily added to a Light Cruiser.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          No catapult gear, just the inclined deck, right?

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Correct. Must have been a Hell of a first Flight!

    • Gosala

      And then the murders began.

      Too soon?

      • proudgrampa

        It’s never too soon…

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Did he subsequently fly?

      • Picabo

        Yes.

    • Raan

      “I dared Eugene to fly off of a ship and he did it the absolute madman!”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      That photo is absolutely amazing.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “The longest ten seconds of my life.”

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      One of my favorite Naval Aviation stories, Ret. Captain Bob Elder, he got the Medal of Honor leading Dive Bombers at Midway, when he was a trainee, they flew Boeing Biplanes with 2 seats. Usually they ballasted the rear seat with weighted bags. Elder had a mechanical fault on his unit’s first flight to land on USS Saratoga so they kept him in San Francisco overnight. When he left the next morning, he was not told his ballast bag had been replaced by an Army General whom was friends with Saratoga’s Captain. Elder did not learn this until he trapped aboard the carrier, and the Army General complimented him on his skill. “How many landings on carriers have you done, young man?”

      “This was my very first, General.”

      Well, a very shaky General had to be assisted to the Captain’s cabin, and Elder was told the General made the Captain sail Saratoga close enough to San Francisco so that the Army man could go back by boat.

  • Ryan Denniston
    • Pointing, also, too

    • Bill D. Burger

      I know the administration’s repeated use of the term “clean coal” always is a knee slapper for me.

      And then I usually callem’ “dumb fucks”!

    • proudgrampa

      Not surprising. We ARE a laughingstock.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Is this what #MAGA supposed to get us???

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Bill D. Burger

      Wife paid me a near-compliment a few months ago. I think I was mucking out the stables and she came through. Himes was on one of the overhead monitors and she said, “You know, you look a lot like him.” I felt exhilarated! As she left, “Of course, you’re a lot older.”

      ~OUCH!~

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        so close!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • proudgrampa

      Ooooh. I like that!

      • Juan de Fuca

        I’m tempted to print it out and hang it in my local Lowes hardware store.

    • Blackest Noobs

      yeah like nuts…they did start earlier this year, didn’t they?
      Geez…remember when Christmas didn’t really start til after Turkey Day?
      like goddamn was that so long ago in the way way back.

      kinda makes me feel sad for millennials…they’ll never know….never.

      • vivian

        They’ll be reminiscing about how when they were young Christmas didn’t start till after Presidents Day

    • WomanInThePersistence

      My goodness, it’s so nice to see people defending the honorable tradition of the War on Christmas not starting until after Thanksgiving.

  • Stinky_Hole

    If it hasn’t already been said, you have to remember that for Alabamians to vote for a Democrat, they’d have to concede that black people have the same rights as they do. And not-Xtian’s have the same rights as they do, and not-penis-haver’s have the same rights as they do (devolving down to anybody who doesn’t believe just like they do). And to the last one of them, they’ll line their cracker-asses up to vote for Judge Roy, because he’s the only one left telling them that it isn’t true, even though the rest of the country insists it is.

    • cmd resistor

      I do have a friend who lives there. Who wouldn’t vote fir Moore in a million years. Granted she was not born or raised there.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Ryan Denniston

    Guys, I think we’ve identified the wrong man as dotard. I hope Sessions doesn’t have any pets, for their sakes.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/14/us/politics/jeff-sessions-congress-russia.html?_r=0

    • Bill D. Burger

      “OMG! All the pets are dead, Jeff. Did you not feed them?”

      “I don’t recall.”

      • Ryan Denniston

        Mistakes may have been made.

        • Resistor Radio

          “I’m not willing to say that”

    • Mary Theresa

      The can be only one Dotard, who will be victorious?

    • LA Julian

      I lurk at JustNoMIL (yes reddit, I know, but they’re a mostly very liberal subreddit) and one of the tactics that has been begun there to deal with abusive family members who gaslight by saying ‘Well I don’t remember saying/doing that, so you can’t hold it against me!’ is to act all concerned and start asking them if they’ve spoken with their doctor about early-onset dementia and to offer to help them make an appointment to check for Alzheimer’s. Oh, and obviously they can’t babysit any more, if they can’t remember something major that happened only today/yesterday/recent date…

      Amazing how people stop using that trick, when there are real negative social consequences for it! (Calling 911 on serial suicide threateners is apparently also Super Effective, something I wish I’d known in the longago…)

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Wait, we (I) forgot – these are the very same people who refuse to believe that the Southern Strategy is a Thing.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Did Hillary get to Shep? What could be the other possible reason for this brush with sanity?
    https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/930545785435054082?s=17

    • TJ Barke

      BAM!

    • Juan de Fuca

      Shep has always been the lone voice of momentary reason on that station. Which probably explains why every Faux News viewer I know hates the guy. I’m still not sure how he’s lasted this long on that network but good on him.

      • cmd resistor

        Also too sometimes when there is an actual big breaking story where everyone else on other stations are just bringing in stupid pundits to make wild speculations if he happens to be on the air he does fact reporting

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Isn’t he the one whose prone to bouts of mental sanity???? How long before is tarred as a liberal cuck globalist?

      • TJ Barke

        Already has.

      • george lastrapes

        Can you watch Fox with the sound off in the hope that the blonde pundit bimbo’s efforts to keep her tiny skirt in place will fail? The squirming is hypnotic and oddly somethingorother.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      The lone voice of reason in a sea of absolute derpitude has spoken yet again. I can’t believe he still has a job at Faux Pas News.

    • anon_the_great

      But he’s like gay or sumpthin so his opinion doesn’t count.

      Yannow, like Uncle Terry.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Those facts have been widely available for years — clearly they’re a smokescreen for the nefarious goings-on behind the scenes.

    • cmd resistor

      He has those sane moments

    • Major_Major_Major

      Introducing the newest host on HLN, Shep Smith.

  • bluicebank

    Rush’s days are over. And this latest attempt to seem batshit crazy relevant is going as far as Ann Coulter’s gambit to remain relevantly psycho enough for a headline. Rush lost when Glenn Beck, then Bill’O took it to another level. Coulter lost the mantle the second Michelle Bachmann Turn-Her-Over showed her Daisy Dukes.

    Who’s up in the GOPers Filed Theory these fucking days? Gender-wise, I suppose Sarah Sanders with that cross-eyed black stare, has the female side locked down (sorry Coulter, but Sarah Sanders will snap you like a twig in a claymation Celebrity Death Match contest). On the male side, the competition is intense. Rand Paul gamely tried the old Kentucky flea-flicker, but danged if Alabama’s favorite son and trenchcoat mall teen pedobear didn’t up and make six broken ribs over landscaping look normal by comparison.

    So no, Rush Limbaugh, this shit is a young man’s game. If you can’t handle a caved-in chest, or scare up six Haitian women who were 12 years old when you raped them, then you’re done.

    • Scrofula

      but then who is your favorite to assume the spokes-maw lunatic fringe-goes-mainstream position?

      • bluicebank

        Sorry, Scro, but I ran out of chicken bones. I’m still waiting for David Brooks to finally have a mental breakdown and confess his sins of omission. Like that will ever happen.

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1921, Brian Keith. The Russians Are Coming! Great movie. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d756428bd8643d7649b7a24fbe3c57016f0755101e42132464ec2d7667dadeef.jpg

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      He played a Soviet missile scientist in the screamingly, hilariously, bad disaster epic Meteor alongside Sean Connery as well.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I saw that in the theater. I remember there was a newspaper ad eleven months before it came out, and nonstop coverage in Starlog of course because they covered anything.

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          Marvel Comics had a big push at the release as well. The movie is so awful, but it’s really fun to watch. Martin Landau is hysterical as a USAF General.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            I saw Damnation Alley also too. And Laserblast. And Starcrash.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Nice! xD I’ve seen them all on TV. Damnation Alley had those “awesome” Landmaster vehicles.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            I now realize I also saw Battle Beyond the Stars and remember absolutely nothing about it except Sam Jaffe in some kind of metal suit.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            John-Boy Walton! Sybil Danning is a spaceship with tits! Robert Vaughn playing the same character he played in The Magnificent Seven!

        • LA Julian

          Unpossible! This modern trend of hype and early movie promotions, just like celebrity gossip, only exists because of the internet.

          Or so I am frequently told.

    • Anna Rompage

      Born on this date in 1963, the latest woman that came forward with allegations against Moore from back in the mid-late 70s

    • wait! what?

      He did not end well in “The Mountain Men.”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I remember that movie from childhood. They showed it on TV, and my parents (small town, rural Republicans in Oregon) made all of us kids watch it. They thought of it as a teaching moment.

    • calliecallie

      I was thinking that my friends and I used to love Brian Keith, but then I remembered it was Brian Dennehy. But hey, Uncle Bill, right!?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Jeffries: In your testimony today, you’ve stated I don’t recall at least 20 times, is that fair to say?

    Sessions: I have no idea.

    https://thinkprogress.org/congressman-jeff-sessions-cross-examination-83235322d00a/

  • Bitter Scribe
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    home!

    Hola all!

    • vivian

      お帰りなさい

      • Juan de Fuca

        Is that como esta in Japanese or where in the hell did I put the edamame?

        • vivian

          It’s either “welcome back”, “welcome home” or “Mr. Frog did it”

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        Don’t touch my moustache.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        No, it’s only half-full of eels.

    • Bonjour!

    • WomanInThePersistence
  • William
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • anon_the_great

      Wanna bet?

    • Alan

      I’ll try.

  • After all the bullshit fake news the media churns out, I’m relieved to know my local (Seattle) news is still loyally dedicated to truth and precision in reporting. Take this story for instance, where we get strictly unembellished facts regarding the case of a girl who miraculously escaped being killed by a falling tree last night.
    [Her father] “Tried to grab her legs, she wasn’t coming. Tried to grab her arms, she wasn’t coming,” John Shaw said. “And then, finally, she started just slightly slipping out and I turned her head this way and she was lifeless.”
    The neighbor carried Caitlin in his arms into the living room, but the teen still wasn’t breathing. Shaw, who’s a veteran and pastor, started kneeling beside his daughter and began praying.
    “I began praying for her and all of a sudden (she) started breathing and started gagging,” said Shaw. “She was not responding, but there was life signs there.”
    Medics arrived and rushed Caitlin to the hospital. What’s hard to believe after seeing all the damage is that Caitlin does not have any life-threatening injuries, just some bruising, John Shaw said.
    “She’s responsive, she can move all her limbs, no broken bones,” he said. “How do you explain that? It’s supernatural.”

    http://komonews.com/news/local/father-of-teen-who-survived-being-crushed-by-falling-tree-god-brought-her-a-miracle
    Sadly, another woman in our state (obviously an atheist) was killed when a tree fell on her car.
    The Lord works in incredibly fucked up ways. Oh – and fuck my local news.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Lord is an Attention Whore.

      • Obviously.

      • Resistor Radio

        Weirdly insecure, too.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          With gender issues.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Obviously the girl is a witch! Build a bridge out of her!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That is so unscientific. Does she weigh the same as a duck?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Whatever happened to empiricism?

    • Ling Ling

      None of that satanic CPR

      • Jesus was weak. Did a goddamned tree fall on Lazarus?

    • anon_the_great

      Then again, it was Port Orchard. Strange things happen there all the time.

      • Orchard…apples…talking snakes…hmmmm..
        TREES!!

        • anon_the_great

          Does make ya think, don’t it

    • SomeBigRedDog

      From that description it sounds like she’s lucky she didn’t have a spinal injury.
      She’d probably be paralyzed for life after being manhandled like that.

      • Ha! I was thinking the same thing.
        I had flashbacks of that scene in ‘Scrooged’ with Billy Murray and the TV censor lady.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    LOL, Papa John’s still shooting itself in the ass
    https://twitter.com/PapaJohns/status/930588793635209216?s=17

    • Ryan Denniston

      Papa Johns is a uniter! In opposition to shitty pizza liked by Nazis!

    • jesterpunk

      Damn they not only shot their foot off they reloaded and shot the other foot and both legs off.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      What statements did they make, for heaven’s sakes? “Thank God for Nazis or we would no customers at all”?

      • jesterpunk

        They blamed the NFL players for their sales going down, then when Nazis supported them they told Nazis to go away.

    • proudgrampa

      Oh, to hell with those idiots.

    • Juan de Fuca

      “It’s the pizza, stupid!”

    • SayItWithWookies

      I just saw a commercial for Papa John’s offering a a deal on three pizzas, and they called it “The Triple Pizza Trio.” Even their advertisers are dumb as an igneous rock — probably don’t have two brain cell neurons to rub together.

      • jesterpunk

        Maybe instead of spending so much on this

        https://i.warosu.org/data/ck/img/0081/66/1475974780217.png

        The CEO spent more on advertising and actual pizza while shutting his mouth they wouldn’t have so many problems.

        • TJ Barke

          Igneous libel!

          • jesterpunk

            That is the CEO’s house.

        • LA Julian

          But where’s the volcano and the shark moat?

      • Master Contrail Program

        So that’s nine pizzas? Perfect for those office holiday parties at a job you’re quitting!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        The first version of the commercial called it “The Triple Pizza Quintet” but the office custodian caught the mistake. The custodian suggested “trifecta” but nobody could spell it and by then the custodian had left for the night.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      uhhhh, about a week or two late for all this, no?

    • Alan

      No, the statements were the rantings of an idiot.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Pence vids on All In. Pence would make a good Sgt. Schultz on the Hogan’s Heroes movie.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Sargent Schultz libelz!!

    • proudgrampa

      I thot he looked familiar.

      “I hear nothing! I see nothing…”

    • Bitter Scribe

      He even has the white hair.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Pence is a psychopath. You can tell by the look on his face when he denies shit.

      • jowgajen

        He’s a zealot. (And also probably a psychopath.) Nothing matters so long as we obey God’s will and he goes to heaven at the end.

        • Alan

          Actually, zealot=sociopath.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Don’t forget! The rest have to go to hell…

          • Alan

            Zero sum game?

          • Dudleydidwrong

            If Pence makes heaven, most of us aren’t interested in being there. I mean, standards….

        • Indeniable Ron

          Don’t forget, HE is the one who tells us what God’s will is. Isn’t that convenient?

      • anon_the_great

        You’re right. Pence does have a Uncanny Valley thing going on doesn’t he.

      • Bitter Scribe

        He’s a hypocrite on steroids (which might be the same thing). He can proclaim the highest, loftiest ideals, rant about Obama’s “cult of personality,” then attach himself to a thrice-married reality-show insult comic who never made an honest dollar in his life.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Even Dubya could look into his dead eyes and not find a soul.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Things I learned today:

    1) People who walk bow-legged, when seen from behind, look like they’ve crapped their pants.
    2) If exaggerate my frown, I have Beaker mouth.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07552060df056b9f36e3f8176ddf202f3eb5126d70c7d3965f90c710f872bb58.jpg

    • Resistor Radio

      That is adorable

    • Meep!

    • anon_the_great

      So you’ve been to Crested Butte CO too.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        no, lets just say a courthouse has a constantly fascinating stream of people coming in and out each day.

        • anon_the_great

          For some reason I never cared to find out every summer Crusty Butt is infested with Texans. You can tell them by the way the shuffle bow legged down the middle of the street.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            as far as i can tell, the % of texans who actually ride horses is very very small. Maybe montanans?

          • SomeBigRedDog

            I’m in Durango. We suffer from the same plague here.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            I’ve been to Durango! (well the touristy part downtown. The rafting was fun)

          • SomeBigRedDog

            It’s a pretty good town except for all the Texans. ;)

            Let me know if you ever come back up this way.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            will do, lotso wonkers in Co.!

            (For the record, I was in Durango, ooooh, ’bout 22 or 23 years ago.)

    • SayItWithWookies

      I am so bow-legged that if I stand with my knees together, my left foot is on the right and my right foot is on the left.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    The anti-semitism, it ain’t subtle:

    Alabamans treated to fake robocall from a WaPo reporter named ‘Bernie Bernstein’ seeking ‘damaging remarks’ on Roy Moore