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Don’t let him near your daughter, just to be safe.

We are just going to open this post by letting you know that Roy Moore is actually fundraising off the allegations that he’s a child molester. Yes, that is what a piece of shit he is:

“The Obama-Clinton Machine’s liberal media lapdogs just launched the most vicious and nasty round of attacks against me I’ve EVER faced,” Moore wrote in the fundraising email. “I won’t to get into the details of their filthy and sleazy attacks.”

Yeah, wouldn’t want to tell your followers you allegedly bad-touched a middle schooler, would you? That might distract them from OBAMA-CLINTON LIBERAL MACHINE, which is doing spiritual warfare to beloved and pure Christian warrior Roy Moore, we guess. Anyway, please send money! (Haha, we tricked you, that link is to US!)

Sadly, his die-hard supporters will buy it, because the sort of conservative evangelical who thinks of Roy Moore as a decent human being is a degraded creature with a fucked moral compass that views every single thing as right vs. left, and anybody who says something bad about one of their own is FAKE NEWS, even if what they’re saying is that their boy Roy Moore is a child molester, and even when there’s one woman on record, Leigh Corfman, saying he sexually assaulted her when she was 14 — after picking her up outside a custody hearing, where her parents were battling over custody of her, because she was a child — and three other women on record saying he was generally just an old fucking creep who perved on them when they were teenagers. You know how women are, always lying and saying Roy Moore molested them when they were 14.

Consider:

This is really how they are. They’d rather take the chance that their guy is a kid-toucher, because at least he’s THEIR kid-toucher and not a … shudders … DEMOCRAT! That is how much Fox News has brainwashed them.

On that note, let’s take a look-see at what some of Alabama’s finest GOP elected officials have to say about the Roy Moore allegations! We already told you about state auditor Jim Ziegler, who says it’s no big deal because the Bible says Mary was a young teenager and Joseph was an older guy and all of that turned out OK because have you met my lord and savior Jesus Christ? Of course, Ziegler is a fucking idiot who apparently missed the entire point of the story, which is that Joseph DID NOT FUCK MARY. God did! His holiness came all over her in a dream! That’s why she is known as the “Virgin Mary” instead of the “Has Sex Sometimes Mary.”

Daniel Dale of the Toronto Star ventured into the hinterlands to find out how Alabama GOP figures feel about the Moore allegations. SURPRISE, they think bitches be lyin’! Wonkette recommends you never let any of the following men babysit your young daughters.

Here, have some tweets from Dale:

Old Jerry doesn’t like child molesting, he just ranks it above voting for Democrats.

Wait, so it doesn’t count unless Moore was able to successfully finish molesting the child and besides it was a long time ago and besides bitches be lyin’? Thanks, dirty Uncle David! Oh wait, he has more to say:

Parents of 16-year-old girls, please pause to consider how you’d feel if a 32-year-old man showed up to take your daughter a-courtin’ in the Alabammy moonlight at his house in the woods. Which one of your shotguns would you brandish in that situation?

Yeah, the allegations came from WOMEN. It’s not like they came from REGULAR PEOPLE.

And yew know about ‘dem DEMONCRATS! They run abortion factories and want to let transgenders to share a bathroom with YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS! Would he let Roy Moore take his young daughter to the bathroom? We are just asking.

OTHER THAN THE CHILD MOLESTING, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like he did it violently! Also LOL, 14-year-old girls are dumb.

These are literal actual elected officials, saying these words out loud. God knows what they say and do in private. (No, we mean that literally. GOD KNOWS.)

You want one more? Here is Alabama state Rep. Ed Henry, who has thoughts about who is allowed to be a victim of sexual assault and who isn’t. You’ll be shocked to learn that Leigh Corfman, who was, again 14 GODDAMN YEARS OLD, does not meet Henry’s qualifications:

“If they believe this man is predatory, they are guilty of allowing him to exist for 40 years. I think someone should prosecute and go after them. You can’t be a victim 40 years later, in my opinion,” Henry said. […]

“I’m not buying it,” Henry said. “It’s too easy for someone to make these accusations. It’s foolish to go down that road, it’s like what if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass every time he jumps.”

It’s just TOO EASY. It’s like what if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU INBRED WHITE TRASH REDNECK?

Wonkette needs to take a moment to breathe in and breathe out for a few minutes, so here is Mitt Romney, having a soul and believing women and telling Roy Moore to GTFO of this race and go straight to hell:

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click here to fund us!

[Politico / The Cullman Times]

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  • proudgrampa

    “I know that 14-year olds don’t make good decisions.”

    What the Ever Loving Fuck?

    It’s STATUTORY RAPE, YOU ASSHOLE.

    • Yeah, bad decisions. Like trusting adults. Huh!

      I have to admit, that *is* a bad decision. BUT NOT AS BAD AS MOLESTING 14 YEAR OLDS.

      • *ahem*

        Looks like this might be a kinda shouty thread…

        • Lascauxcaveman

          W’ALL THEN AHM GONNA JOIN IN TH’ FUN!

  • PeedeResistance

    The only way Moore could lose his no-neck ‘supporters’ is to be caught in bed with a *dead* boy. Girlz are supposed to be byootiful, dootiful, obedient little vessels, and of course thuh vuuuuuurrrrrrr-jinn Mayry was underage anyway. A girl of any variety–even a live boy–won’t do it. *pace Fast Eddie Edwards*

  • wide_stance_hubby

    The GOP will righteously die with a child molester’s dick in their mouth.

    • Covfefe

      The right will righteously die with a child’s dick in their mouth.”

      FIFY.

  • beingreleased

    No one fakes outrage better than a conservative. Every single time they express disgust about something they’re lying. Comparing Moore with Weiner is a perfect example. My favorite is the outrage over Kathy Griffin’s severed head image. They weren’t so upset about people selling T-shirts with Hillary’s severed head at the RNC convention.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    “She was allegedly 14”

    Math is hard. Or time moves at different speeds in Alabama.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, the current year is always 1830 down there.

      BCE.

  • Joshua Norton

    So when can we expect Donnie Drumf’s press conference about how there are good people on both sides of the pedophilia debate?

  • Mr Ephemeris

    It’s Alabama. They all probably do it.

  • Fartknocker

    After reading this I’m turning off the internet. I think I’m going to the kitchen and make something nice for dinner tonight. This is sick.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    “I know statutory rape is bad; but voting for Doug would be supporting the entire Democratic Party, who, you know, think statutory rape is bad.”

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, unless it occurs in Pizza-store basements which don’t exist. In which case we’re behind the whole thing.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Pervs of a feather stick together.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Joseph DID NOT FUCK MARY. God did! His holiness came all over her in a dream! That’s why she is known as the “Virgin Mary” instead of the “Has Sex Sometimes Mary.”

    So, Christianists can now stop pretending as though the Bible should be taken literally. They’ve just admitted that they know Mary wasn’t really a virgin… that’s totally not even possible, amiright?

    • beingreleased

      “Hey God, why don’t you go down to Earth anymore?”
      “Last time I was there I knocked up a Jewish girl and they haven’t stopped talking about it.”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I pride myself on biblical ignorance, but I don’t recall hearing about the Immaculate Bukkake.

  • BigCSouthside

    RNC: hi, so you’re interested in running for senate! Great, let’s just get a few things out of the way, really just a formality. First, anything bad we should know about you?
    Candidate: I fuck children
    RNC: great, we all do, I mean have you seen our latest healthcare and tax bills? I mean we put Betsy fucking DeVos in charge of education!
    Candidate: no I meant literally
    RNC: oh…probably no biggy. How do you feel about the estate tax?

    • Persistent Demme

      Yes, let’s normalize pedophilia!1!!

      • NotReallyHere

        I think that might be part of the GOP platform now.

        Gross Old Perverts

      • But only STRAIGHT pedophilia. Milo and Kevin Spacey still go under the bus.

    • Daniel

      RNC: So we’re going to give you some questions about ethics to see if you fit in here at the party of personal responsibility, representing the moral majority.
      Candidate: OK, fire away.
      RNC: Comfortable with gun idioms, good. That’s a great start. Now, first question: what do you think of gay people?
      Candidate: I don’t hate them, I just think they should have fewer rights than I do and I really would prefer to live my life as though they didn’t exist at all, but you know, I don’t hate them.
      RNC: Excellent! Now, second question- pro-life or forced abortions for everyone?
      Candidate: Pro-life. I want women to know what the consequences of their actions are, and if they let someone have sex with them then they need to be punished.
      RNC: Punished?
      Candidate: I mean, not that a child is a punishment but the child absolutely should be seen as a consequence.
      RNC: A consequence, not a person?
      Candidate: Well, obviously a person. Until it’s born, then sorry son but you’re on your own, just like me. It didn’t do me no harm.
      RNC: Wonderful! Now, sexually assaulting children- up to and including rape.
      Candidate: Disgusting. Vile. Depraved. Obviously caused by atheism and abortion and liberalism.
      RNC: …assume it’s a fellow party member.
      Candidate: There’s two sides to every story, that child probably led them on, you know it’s not like the rape was forcible, the body has ways of shutting that down, there’s nothing wrong with it, it was X number of years ago.
      RNC: Wonderful! So no objections to paedophilia per se?
      Candidate: Paed o what?
      RNC: Child fucking.
      Candidate: How dare you!
      RNC: What?
      Candidate: How dare you use that kind of language in front of me! How vile is our culture that you can talk like that, why there might have been children present! This is literally the worst thing in the world!
      RNC: The Holocaust?
      Candidate: Never happened, but how dare you use language like that when talking about something that probably never even happened and anyway she asked for it and that kid definitely ain’t mine I gave her the money to have it taken care of.
      RNC: Congratulations, Senator.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Heh. It’s not funny, ’cause it’s true. :(

    • Covfefe

      Anyone. How do I change “Eat Mor Chikkin https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54b25d53c878f664add1e61c442b74282de3515eaf1f09043a772be6a295ea06.jpg ” to “Fuck Mor Chikkin?”

  • If those little frogs had wings, Roy Moore wouldn’t have bumped their asses, therefore those girls are no angels!!!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Is this part of that stupid Pepe phenomenon?

  • Joshua Norton
    • wide_stance_hubby

      I forget–which cabinet is he in charge of?

  • Persistent Demme

    So two of the big side effects of hating Democrats are deafness and blindness?

    SHAME, GOP!
    SHAME!
    (You will never live this down!)

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      My husband’s blind. He is no longer supporting the GOP.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Welcome to the good side. We have cookies.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Especially since dumbness is already a preexisting condition.

  • Suttree

    I am in no way surprised that these are elected republicans’ reactions. Enraged yes, just not surprised at all.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to find depravity and abuse under the guise of righteousness in this here Republican Party!

  • canes_pugnaces

    My favorite is the novel new pedophilia defense: The Mary and Joseph Defense.

    This states that because Mary was underage (maybe) and Joseph was a carpenter (maybe) and Jesus lives in Alabama (absolutely), that Republicans can’t be pedophiles, because… well never mind. I think you have to live in Alabama to understand that one.

    • Asterix

      I saw that this morning and said, out loud, are you fucking kidding me, to my computer.

      These holier-than-everyone christianists seemed to have missed reading the Gospel.

      • King Beauregard

        First they translate it to their advantage (such as replacing “justice” with “righteousness” so that churchiness is elevated above fairness), then they take to using concordances to find only those parts that suit their purposes. American Christianity has been doing this for hundreds of years now to do evil in Christ’s name.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Iron Monkey

    I know that 14-year olds don’t make good decisions

    That is why there are laws against sexually exploiting them.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      And apparently, in this case, neither do 32 year olds.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        32 year old LIBELZ!!!!1!!!!1

        (well, most of the time…)

      • Iron Monkey

        Particularly in Ala-bamy

  • ken_kukec

    Shorter Alabama: What’s the world comin’ to, a prosecutor can’t diddle a 14-year-old?

    Sorry Republicans, but a turd in the punch bowl like Roy Moore is whatcha get, you let Steve Bannon climb up and squat on your Party’s buffet table.

  • FlemmishSpy

    “Our foundation has been shaken. Crime, corruption, immortality, abortion, sodomy, sexual perversion sweep our land. When we become one nation under God again, when liberty and justice for all reigns across our land. We will be truly good again. And then we will be straight.” — Moore in September GOP primary debate

    More here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/11/09/a-list-of-the-many-righteous-things-roy-moore-has-said-about-sex-and-morality/?tid=a_inl&utm_term=.65d95d2c950f

  • canes_pugnaces

    I can’t think of a good thing to say about current day Alabama. Not a one.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      At least it’s not Texas?

      • canes_pugnaces

        Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    • Covfefe

      Birmingham is actually a really nice place. If I had to move south, I’d certainly prefer it over Atlanta.

  • Roy Moore: Ain’t no such commandment against kiddie diddlin’!!!

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah… Pretty much his excuse.

  • memzilla Ω

    Surprised someone hasn’t said that what Moore did is NBD because “Thou shalt not molest children” isn’t one of the Ten Commandments.

    • exinkwretch

      You mean there’s no “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s jailbait daughter” commandment?

      • OutOfOrbit

        i object to the term “jailbait”

    • FlemmishSpy
    • NastyBossetti

      I think the thing about Joseph and Mary is pretty close to that, because it was in the bible.

    • Covfefe

      That was me. I said that. There’s a loophole in the Ten Commandments. Prolly cuz Jesus never thought he had to spell that out, but you know gop lawyers.

  • exinkwretch

    The ‘Bama Republican Party has switched to full damage control mode and will produce extensive documentation later today proving that all four alleged “victims” were either first or second cousins of Judge Roy, making his conduct entirely proper by Alabama standards.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Gaia damn it (I’m still pagan from the last thread), I would never have believed I’d ever exist in a world where I’d be relieved and grateful to have Mitt Romney as President.
    Never.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Romney’s not all that bad; hell, he didn’t hurt MA much from what I can tell.

      The problem with him would be having a competent and reasonable-seeming president in place to enable and promote the worst impulses of the GOP congress. Instead, there’s a dumpster fire in the oval office, which is slowing down their progress.

  • King Beauregard

    The thing is, fundamentalists have no sexual ethic. They have no principles. They have a couple rules — sex outside of marriage is bad, and gay sex is worse — but that’s it. They have no set of principles to guide them through the complexities of sex.

    Among other things, they see rape as not much different than gay sex; they’re both examples of sex outside of marriage.

    Fundamentalists deride us heathens for our “if it feels good do it” stance, but that of course isn’t our stance. Our stance is more along the lines of, cause no harm. This leads to a plethora of subtopics like consent, informed consent, the ability to give consent, coercion, existing relationships / trust issues, and so on. Unlike the fundamentalists, we are capable of actually explaining why it’s wrong to offer to watch a teenage girl, then take her to your secluded house, undress, make her undress, and touch her. A fundamentalist would look at that and say: “… um, because they’re not married?”

    • Conservatives Cannot Comprehend Consent!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Good observation! That makes a lot of sense.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Sex outside of marriage is bad”???

      To these mouthbreathers: Only if you’re a vagina-haver.

      • King Beauregard

        Well, it’s still bad when men do it, but boys will be boys …

        • Indeniable Ron

          When men do it they’re naughty.
          When women do it they’re sluts.

    • Me not sure

      So ignorant of the complexities of human sexuality…and yet they seem to breed prolifically.

      • King Beauregard

        Exactly like most beasts.

    • arglebargle

      This is also why there is no such thing as raping your wife.

      • King Beauregard

        Good call!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Wife, daughter, cousin, sister… tomayto, tomahto.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “An’ it harm none, do what ye will.”

      I guess that makes me a dirty pagan.

      • King Beauregard

        A witch! A witch!

        Remember when Christianity was about treating other people well? I’m pretty sure that’s how Jesus envisioned it.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          He wasn’t exactly chill with abuse of women either. But that’s just liberal lies about Jesus, he weren’t no mama’s boy, I tells ya!

  • FlemmishSpy
  • Proud Liberal

    The Republican Party and its supporters are morally bankrupt.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Curiously, their moral bankruptcy is inversely proportionate to their financial status. Gee, I wonder why.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Seriously, if they will vote for anybody but a Democrat, why don’t they just replace Moore with a different Republican. Jeezusfuckinchristonahamsammich!!!!!

    Who gives a damn if it’s 5 weeks from election day. Whatever barely sentient pile of GOP smegma they run is sure to win. Talk about not having ANY damn scruples.

    • kaydenpat

      Perhaps it’s too late to get another Republican on the ballot so they’d need to identify a write-in candidate. Could work because that’s how Murkowski won in Alaska.

      • SineDie

        You’re correct. There is no way to get Moore off the ballot now, even if he dies tomorrow.

      • BouncyFlyer

        Also worked in WA in 1994, when Tim Moyer pulled out – the GOP had their people write in Linda Smith and she freaking won, because Wave Election.

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      I don’t think they can – his name will be on the ballot either way, and from what I’ve read, even if the GOP rescinds his nomination, if he got the most votes, he couldn’t be declared the winner. I think what they’re going to do is leave him on, encourage everyone to vote for him, then have him resign so another one can be appointed. Less riskier than a write-in campaign.

      I fucking hate these people.

  • King Beauregard

    Smartest tweet I’ve seen in a long time:

    “My favorite sex position is when they care about my mental health.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Nice job, Alabama. You’ve just completely out-Mississippi’d Mississippi.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      An’ that’s saying’ sumpthin’

  • OrG

    I don’t think “Family Values” means what they think it does.

  • arglebargle

    “As I understand it, she was very mature for her age.”

  • They should really rename it Immobile County.

  • TJ Barke

    It’s okay if your a republican. They’ll excuse anything.

    • Proud Liberal

      The law only applies to Democrats.

    • OrG

      Except dissent from rethug doctrine.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Look, it’s not like he actually forced an underage girl to dance.

  • BadKitty904

    These people think they are morally superior to the rest of us.

    Their actions say otherwise.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “His holiness came all over her in a dream!”

    … And then immediately rolled over and went to sleep.

    Leda had much more fun.

    https://www.leonardoda-vinci.org/thumbnail/91000/91867/mini_large/Leda-And-The-Swan-1505-10.jpg?ts=1459229076

    • That is one self-satisfied looking swan there.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Watch out for a big goose!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
      Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
      By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
      He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.

      How can those terrified vague fingers push
      The feathered glory from her loosening thighs…

      -I can’t help but think it wasn’t all that fun for Leda, either…

      • Indeniable Ron

        I’ll be in my aviary.

  • Scooby

    WTF, Alabama age of consent is 16!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Is that years?” Roy Moore

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “If they believe this man is predatory, they are guilty of allowing him to exist for 40 years. I think someone should prosecute and go after them. You can’t be a victim 40 years later, in my opinion,” -Ed Henry
    Says a man who probably believes an entire race of people should be punished for the crucifixion of someone several thousand years ago.

    • Fartknocker

      Ed, one question: So this is OK if it’s your daughter?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Damn right. Empathy is not a republican’t trait.

  • kaydenpat

    Mitt Romney met up with Trump after the election. Trump has been accused of sexually harassing women. Why is Romney calling out Moore but okay with Trump?

    Also, how does the “Party of Family Values” and the “Moral Majority” excuse stories about a 32 year old man asking out girls of 14, 16 and teenagers of 17, 18? We all know if a Democratic politician had done the same, they’d be calling for him to be lynched from the nearest lamp post.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Anthony Weiner went to jail for sending pictures of himself to an underaged girl.

      • kaydenpat

        And do you see any Democrats supporting Weiner? I don’t. Our side has no problem believe women who make valid and supported claims of sexual harassment.

      • Indeniable Ron

        That’s the difference, because every good evangelical knows cameras steal your soul.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He met with 45 to ok his niece becoming RNC chair.

      • kaydenpat

        To be honest, I think he wanted a position for himself.

  • ken_kukec

    Wonder how many lewd & lascivious on a minor and statutory rape cases Assistant District Attorney Roy Moore prosecuted in the ’70s and ’80s.

  • Mary Theresa
    • elviouslyqueer

      Nobody gives a shit what you believe, you epic fucking hypocrite.

      • OrG

        Unfortunately that’s not true.

    • Asterix

      Of course he does.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Turns out there’s a special place in Dante’s Inferno for Falwell. It’s somewhere near where Moore will end up….

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        His fat fuck father is there keeping his seat warm.

    • Sashineb

      Oh, he would say that. He’s proud of his photo with President Grab M. By-the-Pussy!!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      But of course. We was raised in the midst of an immoral cesspool by his fat fuck bigoted father.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Telling the truth? I haven’t heard where he has actually denied this.

  • OutOfOrbit

    so all child-molesters have to do to stay out of jail is register as Republican & they’re good to go diddle girls of any age

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      No, no, no. They also have to run for office against a Demoncrat.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Also, loving Jesus. And in Alabammy it probably matters which girls one molests, sadly enough.

    • jesterpunk

      “Well at least he didnt molest boys.”

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Ya. It’s hetero. So. It’s good.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        As far as we know. But wait for the 11 o’clock news. Each day we sink lower into the undrained swamp.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also too, I guess I need to remind all those dick-nosed GOP chairs that this particular motherfucker was removed from office not once, but twice.

    I mean, I know Alabamians are trying really, really hard to hold on to being America’s Power Bottom, but come the entire fuck ON.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “Vladimir Putin is a murderous autocrat with nuclear weapons who threatens our country’s very existence. The goddamn Washington Post, though…”

    https://shareblue.com/gop-official-says-he-trusts-putin-more-than-roy-moores-young-victims/

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, come on, at least Putin isn’t such an immoral bastard as to suffer a gay Chechen to live. That would make Russkie Jesus haz a sad.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Daniel Dale is a brave soul. But for the sake of his own mental health he should remain on his own side of the border. You know, where the guy in charge has made feminism and affirmative consent a core of not only his political platform but personal core philosophy, and doesn’t countenance superstitious bullshit as an excuse for rape.

    Canadians, abandon all hope ye who enter here. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than the natural governing party in majority below the 49th parallel — let alone the epitome of their most deplorable, below the Mason-Dixon line.

    A gentle reminder of what our relations with our northern neighbo(u)r look like today:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/667e23d6feea36ff76f13e8df861d8da1fe5309c1be1d9e84a34acf43d5e4573.jpg

  • Sashineb

    But … but … according to their holey buybull it’s all OK!! (Deuteronomy 20:10-14) “As you approach a town to attack it, first offer its people terms for peace. If they accept your terms and open the gates to you, then all the people inside will serve you in forced labor. But if they refuse to make peace and prepare to fight, you must attack the town. When the LORD your God hands it over to you, kill every man in the town. BUT YOU MAY KEEP FOR YOURSELVES ALL THE WOMEN, CHILDREN, LIVESTOCK, AND OTHER PLUNDER. YOU MAY ENJOY THE SPOILS OF YOUR ENEMIES THAT THE LORD YOUR GOD HAS GIVEN YOU.”

    • Suttree

      “Something something old testament.”
      -xtians as they cherry pick their way through the bibble

  • Jenny

    I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. It wasn’t going to turn off the evangelicals one bit.

    • Hollandaise

      Why on earth would it when they’ve been accepting it within their ranks for decades (at least)?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Why don’t they just say “We’re hypocrites and we don’t care. Suck on that”. Because any rationalization or excuse that comes out of their ignorant mouths just makes them sound worse.

      • bupkus231

        You know – if no one believes them in the first place, are they still hypocrites?

        • puredog

          KTD (koan of the day).

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Guess I can’t read the news today without getting triggered…more so. Wish I were joking. Fuck.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      might be a good day for a long leisurely walk.

      *hugz*

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        In the woods. With Hillary Clinton.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          okay, Wonkette poll time (to distract from the awfulness)

          Would you rather take a hike in the woods with HRC or have a few glasses of Chardonnay with HRC?

          (I suspect I know y’all’s answers.)

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            why not both?

          • bupkus231

            Too easy to spill the wine when travelling the rough parts of the path…

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Not from a flask :p

          • puredog

            Camelback FTW.

          • Querolous

            Bota Bag!

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            A hike, but only because I don’t drink.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            I hate Chardonnay, but I’d be willing to swill it down if I thought a ‘few” glasses would get HRC tipsy and possibly completely unchained. What a conversation!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, my thoughts exactly.

  • BadKitty904
  • Ninja0980

    Of course they don’t.
    As long as he is keeping the evil gays in their place and ensuring women stay in the kitchen, they wouldn’t care if he was on tape actually abusing a 14 year old.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      They didn’t care about Trump calling Ivanka a hot piece of ass or the prospect of him shooting someone on Fifth Avenue either. This is literally a cult.

  • Me not sure

    The alleged behavior is typical of sexual preditors. He saw the prey waiting outside a courtroom where custody hearings were taking place, insinuated himself into their confidence, separated the vulnerable from the protection of her parent, and struck.
    All too typical.

    • Almost as if he’d had practice…

      • Me not sure

        Hmmm. …Ya think?

  • What’s a couple stupid sex-curious teens compared to the bazillions in tax reductions and getting Jesus on the Supreme Courts?

    Says every GOPer backing Moore

  • kLo

    If I ever need to take a cold shower, I will picture Trump saying, “Let’s watch some telly telly” and Roy Moore in a trailer in the woods in white underwear. *Shudder*
    Fuck you, Roy Moore. And fuck whoever votes for him.

  • Joshua Norton

    In the wingnut party of Donald J Drumf, Moore’s conduct is a feature, not a bug.

  • BadKitty904

    The only upside to this is that Republican hypocrisy is becoming more transparent and more shrill with each passing day…

    • OutOfOrbit

      they all cut from the same cloth so it’s (R)all good

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The bad news is it doesn’t seem to make any difference. Or maybe it does, in that decent people who aren’t totally brainwashed Fox watchers, are appalled by this.

      • BadKitty904

        It makes a difference to normal Americans. Nothing will make a difference to the GOP base.

  • DerrickWildcat

    False Flag operation! Bannon came up with the whole thing. He knows that it would make Moore look like the real victim.

  • jesterpunk

    I really think Alabama child protective services needs to investigate each and every one of these motherfuckers who have kids.

    • OutOfOrbit

      alibammy CPS is the main pimp down there

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Let Roy Moore become the next GOP figurehead/albatross: the “party of god” and homophobia are a bunch of dangerous, unrepentant criminals and perverts.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      and old potato-chip lipped angry privileged white guys.

  • jesterpunk
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Chris Hansen should be lead prosecutor at the American Nuremberg Trials against the GOP.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      But Roy Moore never got a chance to mmmbop her!

    • OutOfOrbit

      overthereintheelectricchaIr

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Back when I was building houses, I was putting an addition on for some folks, whose fourteen year old neighbor started crawling around in the crawlspace. Over the next few weeks she started coming onto me, hard. She was extremely promiscuous. I would never, then or now, have said or thought: “Fourteen-year-olds don’t always make good decisions.” The decisions were all up to me. Twenty years later, we’re still good friends, she’s engaged to someone she’s lived with for several years. This pisses me off to no end. I try to think of the kind of guy that would take advantage of a girl like this, or one of my daughters, and I want to get out my baseball bat….

    • wide_stance_hubby

      THIS.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      …and go vote with that bat, repeatedly.

      • SpideySenser

        Swing away Merrill. Merrill… swing away.

    • weejee

      Keep yer hands in front, good arm extension…

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      14 year olds aren’t promiscuous without a reason. She was likely someone else’s victim before you met her.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I know there was a divorce not too long prior. She’s still kind of promiscuous, and that’s not all bad. We’d like to think children aren’t sexual, but we know we were ourselves at times. It’s the choices to act part that is the adult part. There are no excuses…

      • Paul

        I thought the same thing.

  • canes_pugnaces
    • OutOfOrbit

      me like!

    • MynameisBlarney

      ARKANSAS LIBULZ!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Arkansas can still use the slogan. They jest spel the wurds diffrent.

    • Tragic Typos

      I81B415

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    If they use Mythology to excuse their behaviors, is that not an indication that they are too stupid to be allowed to manage their own lives, let alone be leaders of communities?

    I love mythology, anything from Perseus to Captain America, and I am inspired by it. I do *not* use it to excuse antisocial or morally wrong behavior.

    • msanthropesmr

      The whole sex with a swan thing. How would that even work?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Don’t anybody send me any swan dick pix. I’ll just assume that it was enormously painful for Leda because waterfowl penis.

      • Indeniable Ron

        She was TOTES into it. Trust me.
        – Zeus

    • jesterpunk

      I mean Zeus tried to have sex with anything that moved. And God tortured a guy because he could. Mythology isnt filled with the best role models.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Indeed. And the Christian myths are just warmed-over Sumerian mythology. The Sumerian works were better written. Have you read the Epic of Gilgamesh? It’s lyrically beautiful.


        “Gilgamesh, where are you hurrying to? You will never find that life for which you are looking. When the gods created man they allotted to him death, but life they retained in their own keeping. As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the lot of man.”

        Pretty good advice here too, I’ll say.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Now THAT is the kind of advice any decent god should be handing out.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Indeed. :)

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The same God who was hitting on a teenage girl when he was already 4000y.o.?

  • cheetojeebus

    Fuck all these folks, every fucking last one of them.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    But we’re talking something that somebody SAID happened, 40 years ago

    You know what else happened a long time ago involving a young girl that nobody is able to collaborate? That whole virgin-birth hokum. But I’m sure you have no problem accepting THAT.

    EDITED to reflect the actual quote I was responding to.

  • beatbort

    One of those Moore supporters is from Bibb County, which is appropriate since some of Moore’s victims probably were wearing bibs when he touched them.

    • Ricky Gay

      Badump tschhh!

  • Mary Theresa

    Can it get worse?

    Alabama state rep: Moore’s accusers should be prosecuted
    http://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/359792-alabama-state-rep-roy-moores-accusers-should-be-prosecuted

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      No wonder Saudi Arabia is our BFF.

      Girls who get raped get stoned to death for “adultery.”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Now there’s some nuclear grade stupid.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I grew up going to Sunday school (mostly UCC and hippie Presbyterian which is really too a thing!). While I am no longer a believer, I am absolutely stunned by the support from the born agains for this awful human being. Apparently they didn’t get the memo from Jesus.

    • jesterpunk

      They got the part where all you have to do is ask forgiveness and your good.

      • altleftjohn

        Delmar O’Donnell: The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.
        Ulysses Everett McGill: I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?
        Delmar O’Donnell: Well I was lyin’. And the preacher says that that sin’s been warshed away too. Neither God nor man’s got nothin’ on me now. C’mon in boys, the water is fine.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Actually, both Presbyterians and UCC are descended from the Calvinist traditions. That shit doesn’t fly.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Their Jebus switched parties and is now a pro-business, anti-immigrant republican.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Oh they did. They got the one where Jesus said “Make sure you really stick it to those GodDaddamned libtards!”

    • Asterix

      This is who they are and have been for a very long time.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I’m not a believer. But it pisses me off that those people missed the fucking point so much.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • WomanInThePersistence

        And I’m crying now. Because this is so true.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    This is hardly surprising. These malcontents were more than happy to elect an admitted sexual predator. They really are beyond disgusting

  • jodyleek

    “I know that 14 year olds don’t make good decisions.”
    Fine. I hope a 14 year old bleeps you right in the fucking bleep, you bleeping bleephole!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      yeah – that fucking observation is why minors can’t give consent, you (not you jody) dumbfucking assholes.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Evangelicals were mixed on Moore because he didn’t appear to be enough of a slimy creep. Now they are convinced. This is a game changer.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      It appears to be a game with movable goal posts.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Per the WaPo article, Moore undressed the 14-year-old down to her bra and panties and fondled her. Moore was an assistant DA at the time, and that was a crime at the time and he knew it. There’s no amount of “that was so long ago” or “those were different times” that excuses Moore’s behavior at all, and these depraved defenders of his making totally misleading rationalizations is almost as appalling as the crime itself.

    • puredog

      I’m certainly no expert in Alabama criminal statutory history, but I am not sure what he did was necessarily a crime, then, in Alabama. Had he put her hand on his naked genitals, or vice versa, then almost assuredly yes. It would not shock me to learn that Alabama sexual criminal law was sufficiently non-evolved that it did not cover exactly what he did, AND that he as a DA knew that, AND that that was why he didn’t undress her or himself completely. Mind you, I’m not saying this is so, but I can imagine it to be true.

  • BadKitty904
  • Indeniable Ron

    And every single one of these appalling excuses for a human being considers themselves a moral, upright Christian.
    Every. Single. One.

    • BadKitty904

      As we see, Alabamians work VERY hard to maintain that image…

      • bupkus231

        From the new Disney theme park ride, “Confederates of the Deep South”, which traces the history of the South from the Civil War through the Civil Rights struggle to modern-day. The new Roy Moore exhibit will be up as soon as they can find any animatronic engineers willing to touch the dummy.

    • janecita

      Isn’t that what they really look like?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That is SO unfair–many of them can walk.

    • Crank Tango
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Yeah, even Alberta isn’t that bad.

    • Covfefe

      Dear Friendly Canadians,

      Union troops wore blue. Confederates wore GREY. I know things are backwards in Canada. But puhleeze!!!!!!!,,!

  • jesterpunk

    If you want a good religious role model here you go. Any of these republican “conservative christians” can fuck off they are not worthy of cleaning Mr Rogers shoes.

    https://www.churchmilitant.com//images/social_images/2017-05-23-rogers.jpg

    • Tragic Typos

      Or riding his trolley, even.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…..

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      They don’t want to anyway. Fox News basically burned his cardigan sweater in effigy when he died, and then pissed on the ashes. They actually called him evil.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5JkzyGXJ2w

      That’s all you need to know about this party. Also too, I believe Nixon had an FBI file compiled on him or he was on the infamous “enemies list.” Guess who was Nixon’s personal Goebbels? Yup, Roger Ailes.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah I know, Fuck Fox News. I refuse to watch them and will leave the room if they are on because of that.

    • coozledad

      A true bodhisattva.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    My daughter is 16 years old and I just about lost my ever lovin’ shit in a Saphora when some guy (probably in his 30s) walked past her and blatantly checked out her ass. So, yeah, no 32 year old will be courtin’ my kid.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Locker Room Talk (TM) … Nothing to see here.

  • bubbuhh

    As long as the adult in the “relationship” professes to be “saved” and is a Republican, it’s all in the family.

  • BigCSouthside

    Quick thought experiment

    If Roy Moore had just come out as gay how fast would the GOP drop him?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yesterday.

    • Covfefe

      Lindsey Graham?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OK, guys. I can’t. Jennifer Rubin, Mitt Romney, Bill Kristol – in the past week, I have agreed with ALL OF THEM ON SOMETHING.

  • armed_bears

    There’s “bad touch” and then there’s “senatorial courtesy”.

  • CutterTeam

    Since January 20, 2017, we have re-litigated the following:

    * Is treason bad?
    * Are Nazis bad?
    * Were slaveholders bad?
    * Is pedophilia bad?

    The trends are not encouraging.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      GOP:

      * Nah.
      *There were some good Nazis.
      *No comment.
      *I mean, she was 14, for Pete’s sake! That’s practically 15!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Party, party über alles
      Über alles in dem welt.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Yes they are. We haven’t relitigated them, we have simply discovered where absolutely everybody and their grandma stands on the issues.

    • reelreeler
    • Russell Jones

      For real. Enough fucking with Overton window already.

  • Joe Beese

    At the meet-up last night, a fellow Wonketeer asked me what issue I’m most militant about. (It’s the kind of meeting where that’s a casual ice-breaker.) And I was surprised to have a lot of difficulty coming up with one. With Trump, it’s hard to distinguish separate components of loathsomeness, you know?

    But now I think the “values party” defending child molestation is a suitable candidate.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Every time I think I might know the answer to that question, I remember tomorrow is another day that will change my mind once again.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      the party of family values no less.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      For me it’s their consistent, absolute insistence on taking the side of the wealthy, privileged and powerful over those who are downtrodden, powerless and marginalized. And their hypocrisy.

    • bupkus231

      “…what issue I’m most militant about”

      So, it was a kinda “How many angels can dance on the head of a pin” opener?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Wait, are we supposed to be militant? I’m just here for the dick jokes and recipes.

      • Paul

        “What are we, chopped liver?”

        *The college wrestlers*

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    These people can forevermore shut their cake holes about liberals embracing Roman Polanski.

  • BadKitty904
  • janecita

    I’m sorry, but Republicans are vile, evil human beings. Prosecuting the victim, is the kind of shit that they would do in fundamentalist Muslim countries.
    Republicans=American Taliban.

    • Daniel

      If women needed any more proof that the GOP doesn’t regard them as equals with men, this is surely it.

      The problem as the party is seeing it is that these accusations may cost them an election. There is no concern at all for the women bringing the allegations. There is no concern for the “if true” part of their defences.

      • janecita

        Republican women don’t care, they are as vile as the men.

        • NastyBossetti

          Many of them also don’t regard themselves as equal with men.

        • Covfefe

          What about Republican 14-year-olds? What message does this send them? Especially if they’re girls?

          • janecita

            Those 14 year old girls have already been brain washed to believe that they are less than men.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Talibangelicals.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      No need to be sorry. They’re the assholes.

  • Daniel

    “Don’t let him near your daughter, just to be safe.”

    I am willing to guess this is how all the conservatives raising their voices in his defence and muddying the waters will respond to Moore in their own lives. They don’t believe he’s innocent, they don’t believe there’s nothing to these stories, they just also don’t believe that mere women should be enough to jeopardise the Republican candidate.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Also, do not let him near your cattle, your goats and your goldfish.

    • bupkus231

      Not even child women. Republicans uber alles!

  • Stulexington

    I … I actually have a modicum of respect for Mitt Rmoney now. Not enough to actually like him mind you but enough to have a nice thing to say about him now.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “He was right that one time!” we can say at parties now.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Well, in his defense, he was right about Russia, too.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Mitt’s a patrician, condescending and slightly racist guy, but as far as the political spectrum goes in this country, he’s practically a liberal Dem at this point.

          • bupkus231

            I wouldn’t go that far, but to the extremists who form the heart and base of the Republican party nowadays, it’s probably true. Then again, I would be a socialist space alien to them, too….

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            It’s not so much the average as the mean.

          • bupkus231

            The median Republican is mean.

          • teele

            Yeah, and thirty years ago I was a solid centrist. Now I’m a leftwing crazy. And I didn’t change my ideas in any meaningful way.

        • DT

          No, he really wasn’t. That’s why the GOP spent four years making it a reality.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Point taken

          • DT

            This point in particular makes me get a little raving mad. The GOP are so un-American that they revitalized Russia on the national stage just to stick it to the darkie president.

  • Persistent Demme

    There is such an opportunity here for someone in the GOP to be on the right side of history.
    Will someone take it?
    (Probably not.)

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      McCain, maybe?

    • Stulexington

      Well Mitt did, 8 years too late to appear presidential but still it’s a start.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      It’s kind of a softball, guys, these should be easy ones

      Nazis: BAD
      Child molesters: BAD
      KKK: BAD

    • proudgrampa

      They’ve certainly had the opportunity for months, if not years.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    This is the problem with basing your morality ENTIRELY on a book written by men, alleged to be the word of god, that contains rape, statutory rape, incest, murder, genocide and all sorts of other stuff.

  • Anna Rompage

    Come on folks, are you really all that surprised?

    I mean for fuck sake, these people’s version of the buybull promotes fathers marrying off their 11 year old daughters to 20 year old men, in exchange for 3 chickens and a gold milking goat…

    • Proud Liberal

      FFS. These people fuck their own sisters and cousins. They con’t care about this.

      • OutOfOrbit

        donut forget the daughters

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          and the chickens.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Who came first, the chicken or the egg?

          • tomamitai

            The rooster.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Well, now you’re just being cocky.

  • Joe Beese
    • Mehmeisterjr

      Funny, I assumed pedophilia would become a divisive issue within the GOP a long time ago. I am now beginning to fear believe that it is not a divisive issue with the GOP, except for a few oddball outliers like Mitt Romney.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        RINO

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yeah, it’s NOT a divisive issue. They are OK with it. This is all OK with them now.

      • Longstreet63

        They are OK with winning, so if they can win this way, they will.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        And hardly new to the GOP.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Oh my goodness, you poor thing. It must be difficult to lose one’s innocence at your age.

    • Crank Tango

      Is it divisive within the GOP tho?

  • laughingnome

    So I always knew Neil Young was right.

  • Longstreet63

    I’m not sure how I feel about all this. How was the 14-year-old dressed when she seduced him?

    • Proud Liberal

      Says every conservative. It’s always the victim’s fault when it involves a conservative.

    • Joe Beese

      That My Little Pony t-shirt would tell any red-blooded male that she’s ready for the Roy Moore Special.

      • Longstreet63

        Ah, the snub-nosed .22…

    • proudgrampa

      Well, whatever it was, she made a bad decision…

    • President in Exile Firefly

      She shoulda put an aspirin between her knees.

  • BadKitty904
  • Joe Beese
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Alright, Wonkers, who hacked his account?

      • Parakeetist

        Me. I’ll go put it back now.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Not so fast, Comrade – there is still work you can do here.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You built this, buddy.

  • Stulexington

    I think every apologist should be asked point blank if they’d trust him to be alone with their daughter/granddaughter(s)

  • Nounverb911
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Evan, your headline is misleading. The GOP FULLY EMBRACES both child molesters and child molesting.

  • Whoa! Willard finally did something decent

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I think he’s trying to be anointed Orrin Hatch’s senate crown/nosferatu’s coffin/seat. This will get him les points.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Alabama coalition against rape

    According to the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency’s Crime in Alabama 2015 report:

    1,988* rapes were reported by county and municipal agencies in Alabama in 2015. This is a 5 percent increase from 2014.

    The rape rate was 40.9 per 100,000 inhabitants, both males and females.

    863 rapes were cleared for a 43 percent clearance rate.

    On the average, there were 5.4 rapes reported per day in 2015.

    232 persons were arrested for rape with 12 percent being juveniles.

    49 percent of those arrested were white and 97 percent were male.

    56 percent of the rape victims in Alabama were white; 30 percent were black, and 14 percent were other or unknown. 23 percent of all rape victims were 13-, 14-, 15- and 16-year-olds.

    In 79 percent of the rapes, the victim and offender knew or were related to each other; in 4 percent, the victim and offender were strangers, and in 17 percent, the relationship was unknown.

    44 percent of the rapes involved a white victim and white offender, 10 percent, a white victim and black offender, 28 percent, a black victim and black offender, 4 percent, a black victim and white offender. In 14 percent, the race of the offender was unknown or other.

    In 81 percent of the rapes, hands, fists and/or verbal threats were used to exert force upon a victim; guns were used in 3 percent, and knives in 2 percent of the rapes.

    75 percent of the rapes occurred in a residence; 5 percent in a highway, street or alley; 3 percent in a hotel or motel; and 3 percent in a field or woods.

    *Data reported in this publication represents rapes collected under the new definition used for 2013 reporting. Rape is the forcible sexual assault of a male or female victim, including attempts. The FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) program has expanded the definition of rape for reports submitted beginning in 2013 to include male and female victims and other forms of sexual assault. Prior to 2013, Rape was the forcible carnal knowledge of a female victim only, and did not include sodomy offenses.

    Crime in Alabama 2015. (2016). Retrieved 2017

    Pretty grim statistics

    • teele

      But they should improve considerably now that Alabama has alerted the rest of the country that they welcome sex offenders, as long as they vote Republican.

  • Fartknocker

    Well if it makes you feel better Omarosa had a nice party at the White House:

    https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/07/omarosa-manigault-wedding-photo-white-house-dysfunction-244640

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, I guess we can be pleased that Omarosa throwing bridal parties means they’re not destroying America.

      The operation could prove especially useful for Trump, who so far has largely been blocked from carrying out his legislative agenda, which includes a repeal of Obamacare, an overhaul of the tax code and a massive infrastructure package.

      Those who have worked in the office in the past say it is an important component to building support for the White House’s agenda.

      For example, senior White House officials wanted statements from business and community groups to praise Trump at the 100-day mark of the presidency and help improve the news coverage, which Trump was obsessed about.

      The office could not deliver the statements as the aides wanted. Staff members were also asked to count how many potential outsider advocates they’d met with, and it created something of a scramble because people were not keeping close tabs, several officials said.

  • Jenny

    Fundies be crazy you guys.

    Not only did my mother date much older men as a barely teen. It was told to me many times that if an older man took interest in you, it was a compliment and desirable. Why? Because they can support you. Allegedly.

    It is now running joke with the boyfriend that all my family wanted for me was to win Miss America and marry a well off, older man from Beaumont or Houston.

    I didn’t win Miss America but he gets to flash around my living room as my grand mother’s dream come true!

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    Gotta vote for the God-fearin’ Roy Moore cuz the libruhls will take away all mah gunz if I don’t. (The mind reels.)

  • goonemeritus

    I’m starting to think I should run for office, I have always found teenage girls off-putting.

    • proudgrampa

      Hell, even when I was a teenager, teenage girls were off-putting…

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Huh! Now I know why they act that way. Nature intended them to be left alone.

        • proudgrampa

          Fersure.

      • goonemeritus

        I know right

        • proudgrampa

          And when I was younger, they had cooties!

  • Hand Turkey

    I currently have a 14 year old daughter, so right now I’m burning with the white-hot rage of a thousand suns.

    She was SUPPOSEDLY 14? So what, she faked her birth certificate (like that Kenyan) at the time of her child custody hearing?

    14 year olds don’t make good decisions? No, they don’t, that’s why they need to rely on adults to NOT BE SKEEZY FUCKING PERVS!!!!😠

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Supposed 14”

      This is pedo-creep speak for she probably didn’t look or act her age. Or even worse, “She lied and said she was OLDER!!!1! How could the poor guy have known, huh???

      Makes me white hot with rage, too. I’m of the opinion, that prudent men (and women) do like they do for alcohol and tobacco purchasers: card them if they look under the age 30.

      • Stulexington

        He was helping out someone in a custody hearing for the girl, how was he suppose to know she was under age? I mean they have custody hearings for legal adults all the time right?

      • Covfefe

        I have some mental agility myself, but when your pick-up line is “I’ll watch your daughter while you go into the child custody hearing so she doesn’t have to hear that stuff” how do you change your tune and say “supposedly a child?”

      • Hand Turkey

        I think with the CHILD custody case going on he can’t really fall on that excuse…but I’m sure he’ll try.

  • Longstreet63

    Suffer the little children to come unto me…but don’t believe a word they say afterwards, ok? They’re liars.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    So, I mentioned on the OT that I have a old deadbeat family member who just lurvs the youngins’…

    Thing is, he always had a thing for girls significantly younger than him. When he was high school, when he was in college, when he was out of college… NOW.

    When he was younger, the girls were closer to his age (12th grader chasing after an 8th or 9th grader). But as he aged, the age gap started getting bigger. It went from parents noticing that he should leave those “little girls” alone in high school to “What the fuck is wrong with you??! Is she still in HIGH SCHOOL!!! You’re a damn PREDATOR!!!!” in his mid-thirties.

    The fucked up part: In his early 20s he started “substitute teaching” at the high school… YES, I shit you not, Wonkeratti. And what inevitably happened? He got his ass fired for inappropriate fraternizing with students (the part where he “escorted” a student onto the football field for homecoming did him in, if you must know. The girl was in the same church choir with me and my sisters–small county.)

    He’s currently married to a youngin’. When I first saw her, I thought she was still in high school. At the time he started “dating” this girl, he was living with family, and the person he was staying with was rightly concerned that a shiftless dirtbag like him dating a barely-adult girl might bring around an angry father (And, yes, Predator has been threatened before by Angry Fathers). He took her to a family gathering and a cousin told the girl to runaway from him as fast as she can. She obviously didn’t listen because she married him even though she actually has to support his rusty old dirty ass because he doesn’t work (!$!$@!$!#$!#$). The only thing we do now, is hope a light bulb goes off in her head and she gets out while she still can.

    The question was put to the Predator what he’d do if she ever left him: “Oh, I can find another one.”

    And I believe him. He currently lives in the city where he went to the university. So no doubt he’ll be cruising the campus looking for young blood if/when she leaves him.

    Alls I’m saying is grown men do not chase after young girls by accident. That shit is pattern of behavior in line with their entire being. FUCK ALL OF THESE PREDATORS!

  • Longstreet63

    I’d have thought Alabamians would have been shocked by these allegations, considering Moore wasn’t even related to the girl…

    • LesBontemps

      That’s the really disappointing aspect of this. You give Alabama the chance to prove they’re not all ignorant backwoods sister-fucking racists, and they say “Nah, thanks, we’re good.”

  • jesterpunk

    From now on any time the GOP tries to claim they are the party of “family values” this kind of stuff needs to be brought up. They support Roy Moore and Trump, they dont get to claim that anymore. Also I really think we need to ban republicans from public bathrooms or locker rooms.

    • Daniel

      It will get handwaved away as being in poor taste to mention this. That’s what they’ve spend decades learning to do. If you mention uncomfortable truths about them and their hypocrisy, you’re presented as petty and prurient at best and utterly immoral at worst.

      They claim to be moral, therefore they must be.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Just like it’s always “too soon” to talk about gun control, and if you bring it up you’re morbid and exploiting the grief of the victims and their families for “politicized gain.” Anything to avoid actually doing any work.

    • the_steamer

      It’s pretty cool getting all these Alabama Republican chairmen on record that they support pedophilia over Democrats

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Silly. Family values was really “GAYS SUCK”. It’s ok if whatever depravity they are willing to excuse is hetero.

  • Crank Tango

    What? Hitler banged his underage niece, so it must be fine.

    • laughingnome

      I’m sensing a pattern

      • proudgrampa

        No kidding.

  • BadKitty904
  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    They don’t care. They’d french-kiss Satan if it meant they won the election.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Hell, they’d give him a rimmer if they thought it’d just make us mad.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’m gonna repost this, because it sums up these morally-depraved win-at-any-cost deplorables perfectly:
    https://twitter.com/CarrollBryant/status/928963150820642816?s=17

    • jesterpunk

      Is that a serious comment or is it summarizing the Alabama GOP responses?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        She is serious. Go ahead, click on it and find her justifying this.

        • jesterpunk
        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          I didn’t bother. I just reported her. She is sick.

        • jesterpunk

          Ok we really need to stop trying to reach out to these people and need to smack anyone who suggests it. They will justify anything as “at least its not a democrat.”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And who the fuck is Carroll Bryant, you might ask?

      This:

      http://therexfiles.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-legend-of-carroll-bryant.html

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        She sounds rancid.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Two-l Carroll is a he.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            If misgendering might possibly make her angrier, I’m all for it.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        So anotherwards a stalker and pedophile defending another pedophile. “She” is a “he”.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        …I’m done…

        ETA: and thank you for this notice.

      • Vincent Ricola

        I had my money on this “person” being a terrible bot. This is so depressing.

      • bupkus231

        Shoulda scrolled down – I found and posted that same link…

    • NotReallyHere
    • Daniel

      Rephrased for accuracy:

      I’d rather have a pedophile in office rather* than a democrat any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Pedophiles only screw kids literally rape children while democrats screw everyone pass legislation I disagree with.

      *and edited because for fuck’s sake learn how to use the language properly.

    • BigCSouthside

      That response exists for one reason: Fox News.

      25 years painting is as subhuman worked

    • elviouslyqueer

      Holy shit.

      I can’t…

      Holy shit.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Yep… Those Democrats be screwing us with healthcare, consumer protection, environmental protection, labor laws, anti-discrimination statutes, etc, etc.

    • Pisto75666
      • YoBunnyBunny

        John Oliver is all of us right now.

    • bupkus231

      This Carroll Bryant is some piece of work. Besides the crap he posts online, he is an author of YA fiction, who himself apparently attempted to “date” a much younger female…

      Link: http://therexfiles.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-legend-of-carroll-bryant.html

      There’s a couple of links there that supposedly support the story this blogger tells, but it’s all TL;DR to me. But, Bryant’s blog post about his tweet above makes it damned clear that this guy should just STFU – in the post, he claims to have been molested at age 9 by a female babysitter – yet he’s trying to excuse Roy Moore because he’s not a Democrat????

      Link: http://carrollbryant.blogspot.com/2017/11/democrats-versus-pedophiles.html

      Hateful people….

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Oh God, is it that Carroll Bryant? That guy’s a freaking lunatic. I think he was banned from Goodreads.

  • Well, they hit all the old favorites didn’t they?

    1. Bitches be lyin’
    2. It’s okay if a middle aged man dates a teenager because God and Jesus
    3. It’s partly her fault too.

    And they even through in a good, “Well, if he did molest a child, that’s wrong, but I still support him because those Satanic Baby Killin’ Demoncrats are worse.”

    I’m pretty sure I’ll be telling my daughter to never be alone in the same room as a Republican from now on.

    The party of family values, everyone.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    BTW – Kudos to Dale for doing some nice reporting here.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Canuck media tends to be con-biased trash (thanks, Harper), but there are still a few diamonds in the rough. I hope that guy took a Silkwood shower when he got home from the dark side and binge-watched Trudeau’s YouTube channel. “Oh look, here’s an enlightened Jedi talking about feminism and affirmative consent. Pandas love him. #SerenityNow”

  • Joe Beese
    • YoBunnyBunny

      GOP brain-splosion in 5…. 4… 3…

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Assumes brains to ‘splode previously in evidence.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It’s really very simple. Denouncing Weinstein costs them nothing politically, while denouncing Moore does. The women are irrelevant – which in itself is a scathing indictment of these scabrous, hypocritical, morally bankrupt scumbags.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Yes, but small-town Republican women are supposed to sit down, shut up, and know their place. Not at all unlike another sizeable segment of Southern society.

    • Stulexington

      No, it means you don’t actually care you’re just using it as an attack and defending your side against said attack.

    • BadKitty904

      I.e., you’re a hypocrite.

    • Edith Prickly

      It means they care more about losing a Senate seat to a Demoncrat than they do about young women being molested.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I’d believe it if Moore had demonstrated any disdain for the law in the 40 years since he was so young and impressionable. But, he is surely a God fearing, law abiding family man, so….

    Wait. What?

  • NotReallyHere

    I don’t know why I’m sharing this little factoid, because who the fuck cares, but there are apparently some Christian sects that don’t believe in the virgin-birth because it’s “too Catholic.” They think Jesus was conceived “in the normal way” and then God took possession of him at some later date. Some say at the baptism.

    I used to be interested in this shit, but I’m now in a “fuck religion” phase that doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

    • laughingnome

      I may be wrong but don’t Protestants in general not believe in the virginity of Mary?

      • NotReallyHere

        It really varies. It depends on how hard-core anti-Catholic they are, or the history of that particular sect is. At least that’s what I got out of the reading I’ve done.

        • Stulexington

          Us United folks believe she was a virgin for example.

      • Joe Beese

        C.S. Lewis holds the virgin birth as a tenet of “mere Christianity”. That is, one of the minimum belief requirements of any Christian sect. But he goes on:

        There is no controversy between Christians which needs to be so delicately touched as this [concerning Mary]. The Roman Catholic beliefs on that subject are held not only with the ordinary fervour that attaches to all sincere religious belief, but (very naturally) with the peculiar and, as it were, chivalrous sensibility that a man feels when the honour of his mother or his beloved is at stake. It is very difficult so to dissent from them that you will not appear to them a cad as well as a heretic. And contrariwise, the opposed Protestant beliefs on this subject call forth feelings which go down to the very roots of all Monotheism whatever. To radical Protestants it seems that the distinction between Creator and creature (however holy) is imperilled: that Polytheism is risen again. Hence it is hard so to dissent from them that you will not appear worse than a heretic — a Pagan.

        • laughingnome

          Okay that clears things up.

    • Growing up in a REAL TRUE ALABAMA BAPTIST CHURCH I can witness the notion of Mary being a ‘V WORD’ was never discussed and we certainly had idea what a Virgin might be as it was probably considered too dirty.

      Until we got to middle/high school and discovered our and other’s naughty bits all we knew about how you made a baby was the Stork brought ’em when they were done.

      • NotReallyHere

        That’s kind of fascinating. So, maybe in some places the virgin-birth gets tossed out, not because no one believes in it, but because no one wants to talk about it. So, it doesn’t get taught.

        I’m curious, did you not sing, “Silent Night” at Christmas? Because that definitely mentions the “V Word.”

        • nightmoth

          Oh, and how the boys of a certain age snickered over that song.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          I once asked my Free Will Baptist church pianist mom what “adultery” was, and she would not explain it to me. (“But they keep talking about it in the Bible!”)

          I also asked her what “knocking the boots” meant, she said that it was when people knock the dirt off their boots before they get into bed. At the time I just thought she didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about, because old country church ladies, amiright?

        • The word ‘Virgin’ basically only came up in Christmas carols and probably other hymns.

          I guess we thought it meant “A Nice Lady” or something.

    • nightmoth

      Huh. I was raised southern Protestant and believing in the Virgin birth. We still didn’t like the Catholic religion, though.

      • NotReallyHere

        Well, I’m certainly no expert. My interest in this topic has definitely waned. I’m just aware that there are some churches that claim to be Christian, and definitely do not believe in the virgin-birth.

        • nightmoth

          I’m still interested in an academic way, so thanks for bringing it up.

  • Covfefe

    Don’t RWNJ’s have a habit of accusing libtards of being pederasts?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      They project more than an IMAX theater showing movies on the surface of the moon.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Actually, they have the habit of accusing libtards of everything they are guilty as fuck of.

      • Proud Liberal

        The projection is real.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I was going to say that for every pointing finger we can see, they have 4 more in a minor’s orifice.

  • Parakeetist

    I can’t say all of what I want to say without getting banned. So, there’s this:

    But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea.
    Matthew 18:6 – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew%2018:6&version=DRA

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Roy Moore oughta fit right in:

    “Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?’ someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country.”
    ― Edward Everett Hale

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    At the rate they’re going, the GOP is going to have to change the name of the Department of Defense to the Department of Defending the Indefensible.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      If that did not happen during 2016 it will never happen

  • Joe Beese

    AllahPundit, right-wing but clear-eyed, slips into a moment of naivety:

    Hopefully there’s a “pedophilia” exception to modern tribalism.

    In his heart, he knows better.

  • GOP idiots are “But Bill Clinton-ing” all over the place BTW.

    • Edith Prickly

      As this guy said on the Twitters “What About-ing
      pedophilia is disgusting. Live with that.”

      https://twitter.com/EdgeofSports/status/928994208375099392

      • Pisto75666

        Last I checked, Monica wasn’t a child. These guys really need to keep up.

        • Persistent Demme

          Really.
          They are so STUPID!

        • Edith Prickly

          They kept trying to move her age downward while that nonsense was going on. “19-year-old intern” – no, she was a 22-year-old White House employee when the relationship began. It was still terrible judgment on Monica’s and Bill’s part, but they were both adults.

          • SpideySenser

            I’ve had discussions with folks who called Monica a “little girl” and “just a child”. Ah, no, she was a college graduate bragging about her “presidential kneepads”.

          • nightmoth

            I read everything I could on that mess while it was ongoing and Monica was a handful. When she got the internship, she told her girlfriends in California that she had a crush on Bill Clinton and wanted to give him a blowjob. She sure checked that off her bucket list.

          • SpideySenser

            She def did. And I never bought that innocent victim shit that Ken Starr was trying to sell. Ms. Monica knew what she wanted. Bill is no saint, but I’m sure this was a mutual consent thing.

  • DrBigHead

    After this, if you are still not convinced the GOP is morally dead, there is no hope

    • BadKitty904

      After this, if you are still not convinced the GOP is morally dead, you are morally dead yourself.

      • DrBigHead

        Well done

        • BadKitty904

          Thanks to your start…

  • John

    It’s Alabama! Raping little girls is just another part of being a “man” in that shit-hole state.

    • Proud Liberal

      They have no problem raping sheep, cattle and horses either.

  • shivaskeeper

    Anyone who is shocked by this turn of events has not been paying attention.
    Of course they will support him. Of course bitches be lying. Of course bitch probably seduced him all those years ago. Of course he was possessed by the spirit of the Devil to even think of doing something like this. Of course she was possessed too. It’s not his fault at all.

    This right here is what happens when you elevate sex as the sin over all other sins. This is what happens when you try to repress anything even resembling sexuality to man/woman and only if they are married. She can’t come forward because she’s soiled now. Not physically so much as in the eyes of the rest of her church.

    This is what happens when the denomination you belong to would make the girl in this case stand before the congregation and admit her sinful ways to all and sundry and hope they don’t shun her Jezebel ways for leading this fine, godly man wrong.

    This is what happens when a political party and fundy religion become so enmeshed that to vote against the party is to vote against the religion.

    Am I surprised he is fund raising off of it? No. Will I be surprised if he is guilty as fuck of this and probably many more times over? Not a chance. Will I be surprised when he goes into hiding for a few months and come back to tell everyone that God has forgiven him and he is then welcomed back into the fold? Nope. Will I be surprised if the victims are treated like harlots for try to bring him down? What do you think?

    • Rick Hill

      They support him because they, and he, are christians. Forgiveness and all that. I mean, of course they overlook it. It’s not like he’s colored or a Democrat….

      • shivaskeeper

        I have a suspicion they support him because this kind of thing is far, far more widespread that anyone knows.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          They know … it’s accepted and not discussed.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I really wish science would just engineer the sex drive out of human existence. Another thing, like frozen peaches, that our species isn’t evolved enough to use responsibly.

      • shivaskeeper

        No.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Frozen peaches -you put them in the refrigerator overnight, cut them up, roll them in the dry waffle flour before you mix anything else in, then (when you consume them) have your little food orgy….

        • NastyBossetti

          But when do you soak them in alcohol? That seems like a responsible thing to do at some point.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        But I like my sex drive… The skeevy ones can keep their pickles off of me, though.

      • NastyBossetti

        I am very glad science does NOT do that.

  • Covfefe

    Christians aren’t perfect? They’re forgiven? Anyone?

    • Proud Liberal

      Yeah. No. That’s not the way it works.

      • BadKitty904

        No. It’s not.

    • DrBigHead

      It is precisely this hypocrisy that drove me from the church when was 16. Saw too many people whoi behaved like assholes during the week, piously sat in church on Sunday, and picked up the asshole mantle on Monday.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And then looked at you like YOU were the anti-christ!!

        This. Same reason I haven’t been impressed with church life.

        Actually, I just hated going to church. Nothing personal really, I just preferred to spend my Sunday mornings NOT in church–because holy fuck that shit was boring (my mom was the county pianist, so I had to go until I was old enough to stay home). That there were a bunch of semi-literate hypocrites sitting in the pews did not sweeten the deal.

        • DrBigHead

          I actually enjoyed the ceremony and the community (mostly). I think my downward spiral began during confirmation classes when I asked the pastor what the difference was between the concept of the trinity and the different avatars of Vishnu. Yes, I was a weird kid.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Oh, Confirmation classes were the worst. I was convinced I was too dumb to understand anything. I’d ask our old fundamental Lutheran pastor, “what does this mean?”, and he’d repeat it differently using the same words. I’d explain why that didn’t help me, and he’d try a third time, just before he became sarcastic….

          • DrBigHead

            My Lutheran Pastor, an old guy who spent much of his early career in east Asia, did not dismiss me and actually took the time to try to explain it to me. He kept to the party line, although I sensed he was having trouble fully dismissing the concept. In the end it came down to an appeal to faith, which was never enough for me.

          • BouncyFlyer

            Ex-Misery Synod – my pastor dodged the questions.

          • DrBigHead

            My family has the honor of having been thrown out of the Missouri Synod. At the time, Freemasonry and the church were incompatible.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            I actually will go into a church nowadays… but only for the music–and ecclesiastical music at that. Since I’m in Baltimore, a lot of the amateur/semi-pro choral and chamber music groups do concerts at local churches. I went to a Bach in Baltimore performance of Brahm’s “Requiem ein Deutsches”, and I actually made my first trip to the National Cathedral for a concert (Ralph Vaughn Williams). Not to mention the various symphony performances of other requiems and even Bach’s “St. Matthew’s Passion” that I’ve been to.

          • DrBigHead

            I do as well, especially if you have the opportunity to go to a church/cathedral with a good pipe organ. Still make a point of taking in a performance of the Messiah each Christmas

          • YoBunnyBunny

            One year, I’m gonna catch the holy spirit and actually see Handel’s Messiah… Lawd knows there are about fifty-leven performances between Baltimore and DC every December (even a few Sing-Along varieties).

          • BouncyFlyer

            Confirmation class was what helped to plant the seed of doubt in me, and in a year, my faith was completely shattered.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Show up for the sermon, drop your tithes in the plate and give God his cut, and all is forgiven. Have fun sinning next week and we’ll see ya Sunday…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      “Not Catholics”.
      -Alabama Republicans

      • DrBigHead

        Catholics aren’t Christian. Had that told to me by several evangelicals.

  • jesterpunk
  • MynameisBlarney

    Apparently, this was made BEFORE the creeper/pedo allegations.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=G8KogdhDras

    • MynameisBlarney

      Also, too, pretty sure they’d burn her as a witch if they could.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Trae Crowder should hire her for his show.

      • puredog

        Has Trae weighed in yet? I bet he has some choice words for Roy.

  • Professor Fate

    One must say that the Alabama GOP is not exactly covering itself in glory here.

    • BadKitty904

      They are certainly covering themselves with something

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s pewp, innit?

        • Professor Fate

          I admit I don’t have much hope from any of them but it’s like right after one of the says something sick and insane to defend Moore some one else thinks’ Hell I can top that. Hold my beer.”

  • Rick Hill

    What are they saying in private?
    “Well, hell. Who wouldn’t grab a sweet young thing, if they could?”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      It’s so sick. I’d ask “who thinks this way?” but I guess the question is already answered.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      And: “She looked 16!”

  • PersianOregano

    If you had told me 5 years ago that the only Republicans that I could stomach would be the Mormon variety I would not have believed you.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Don’t get too comfortable with Mormons.
      That entire cult was created to put their people in office.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        And they themselves have some creepy things going on with marrying off young girls. So…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and there’s the whole Warren Jeffs branch…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I also recommend this thread to get a sense of how this predatory behavior is made easier in certain cultural cases. Although I disagree with the characterization of the girl doing the courting, and I’m sure most if you will too, just go ahead and read it through.
    https://twitter.com/KEBrightbill/status/928815110679859200?s=17

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Except that, excuse me, but I believe it was an *adult man* who went “a-courtin'” the 14 year old girl. Not the other way around.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Adult men encouraging 14 year old girls is uncommon, unethical, and, especially where D.A.’s are trolling courthouse hallways, indecent….

    • bupkus231

      So, this is home schooling advocate who says that part of home schooling culture is that child molesting is okay?

      This woman is deranged.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        She isn’t advocating them. I read part of her thread. She’s explaining the predatory nature of fundy Christian culture.

        • bupkus231

          I Googled her earlier – and got lotsa hits of her advocating home schooling. Maybe not as part of this Twitter thread – but…

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I don’t want to go into Republican Schaudenfreude mode, because there are real victims, but I think this is a wonderful thing for American politics. We no longer have to endure a nanosecond of pathetic bleating about economic insecurity, or give them a shred of respect for their supposed Christian values. All of the cards are now on the table, for everybody. We now know these people would rather vote for a child molester than a Democrat. I mean, _we_ knew it before, but now everyone knows it.

    I wish we could have done it without any casualties, but these people are saving us incredible amounts of work.

  • schmannity

    Glenn Beck, to his credit, said an hour ago that Bannon fired Milo the day after saying he understood man/boy relationships, without having said he’d been in one or accused of having been in one, but when 4 accusers and 30 corroborating witnesses step forward, it is fake news.

    • shivaskeeper

      Think about that for a minute. Really think about it.

      A goddamn Nazi collaborator, if not actual Nazi himself. A fucking white supremacist. A gin soaked piece of shit like Bannon.

      That motherfucker. That motherfucker with his complete lack of a moral or social compass has a better moral compass than the fudies and GOPers in Alabama.

      Granted Bannon probably did it to avoid the backlash and loss of revenue, but it was still a reason for firing him. The GOPers in AL would have embraced him if only he was talking about man/girl instead of man/boy.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Please don’t make me agree with Glenn Beck. This is really bizarro world now.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Apparently Mitt Romney is a gateway drug. Did not see that one coming.

        • SpideySenser

          And to think HE was the creepy guy a scant 5 years ago. Go figure.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Can it be that it was all so simple then?

          • SpideySenser

            Time has re-written every lie.

      • SpideySenser

        IK, R?

    • SpideySenser

      Thank FSM it’s Friday, there is not enough bourbon or Heineken to deal with this creepy fucking shit. At least I can sleep it off tomorrow. And then it will start all over again…sickening is what it is.

  • Rick Hill

    So, before Skynyrd, was the theme song for Alabama “Thank heaven, for little girls”?

    • laughingnome

      The Kids Are Alright by the Who

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        or, you know, that Uncle Ernie song..

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Maurice Chevalier libelz.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Enjoy hell, be it on Earth or in Satan’s favorite collecton, diddler enablers. Jerry Sandusky enablers are in awe of your bold assurances.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Such a bunch of self righteous, sanctimonious hypocrites- I hope they all redacted because it would violate the commenting rules

  • shivaskeeper

    Anyone who is shocked by this turn of events has not been paying attention.
    Of course they will support him. Of course bitches be lying. Of course bitch probably seduced him all those years ago. Of course he was possessed by the spirit of the Devil to even think of doing something like this. Of course she was possessed too. It’s not his fault at all.

    This right here is what happens when you elevate sex as the sin over all other sins. This is what happens when you try to repress anything even resembling sexuality to man/woman and only if they are married. She can’t come forward because she’s soiled now. Not physically so much as in the eyes of the rest of her church.

    This is what happens when the denomination you belong to would make the girl in this case stand before the congregation and admit her sinful ways to all and sundry and hope they don’t shun her Jezebel ways for leading this fine, godly man wrong.

    This is what happens when a political party and fundy religion become so enmeshed that to vote against the party is to vote against the religion.

    Am I surprised he is fund raising off of it? No. Will I be surprised if he is guilty as fuck of this and probably many more times over? Not a chance. Will I be surprised when he goes into hiding for a few months and come back to tell everyone that God has forgiven him and he is then welcomed back into the fold? Nope. Will I be surprised if the victims are trearted like harlots for try to bring him down? What do you thnk

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Trump can just shut it all down:
    https://youtu.be/_br6QzCeCz8

  • Pisto75666

    So Bill and Monica, which was 20 some years ago (and she was a grown ass woman), can never stop talking about that but this guy assaults a minor? That’s no big deal?

    Got it.

    Fuck these people, fuck Alabama and fuck the GOP.

  • SpideySenser

    So…Alabama state Rep. Ed Henry tries to make it sound like Roy Moore is the victim here. That is disgusting.
    And drop the frog libelz, Ed.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Is he the guy who makes those t-shirts?

      • SpideySenser

        OK, I give up, what t-shirts?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Fuck you Jerry. Really fuck you. You are the one that wants to get rid of campus sexual assault prevention in opposition to what the overwhelming majority of your students want.

    • Cosmic Owl

      Jesus should start showing his displeasure with the faux Christians in clear, concise ways.

      Lightning bolts are nice.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Plagues …. go with plagues. Plagues of bedbugs isolated to their marital beds should suffice.

        • teele

          If the bedbugs were isolated to their marital beds, it would only affect their spouses.

    • DrBigHead

      OK, I’m done

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      The “judge” was twice removed from the bench. Doesn’t that make it a former judge? (I said “it” instead of “he” deliberately.) It’s beyond my ability to understand why anyone would support this “person”. And we are also forgetting his shady non-profit bookkeeping, too.

  • It’s bad enough that this so-called administration has caused me at times to agree with George Wrong-About-Everything Will, and Ana Still-Fighting-Dead-Fidel Navarro, now I’m supposed to heart a Romney tweet?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It’s not forcible rape. Just rape rape.

    • laughingnome

      Legitimate rape?

      • Boojum

        Traditional, Bible based rape.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    If Democrats were as hypocritical as Republicans, they would even now be planning “Free Anthony Weiner!” marches.

  • Longstreet63

    I don’t see how this is a problem. There have been lots of Republican lawmakers with…unconventional sexual tastes…and it never got in the way of their voting for tax cuts for the wealthy!

  • calliecallie

    It’s like that line from the Blind Side. “Who knew we’d have a black son before we’d meet a Democrat?” “Who knew we’d vote for a pedophile before we’d vote for a Democrat?”

    Only that Republican family in the Blind Side was nice. These Republicans suck.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • TJ Barke

      Fuck, these people are absolute garbage.

      • Cosmic Owl

        They truly are, deplorable garbage people who don’t care that a guy is fucking pedophile as long as he is a republican.

    • Cosmic Owl

      They don’t come forward sooner because they feel ashamed and overwelming guilt, for they also blame themselves first. Plus, it involves sex, and folks get secretive about it.

      It gets worse when a parent doesn’t believe them; that’s added trauma.

      • Cosmic Owl

        I had an experience as a kid (9) with a man who exposed himself to me.
        (He was jerking off, but I did not know that was what he was doing, being 9 years old and all). He tried to get me in his car. I knew better than to get in a stranger’s car.

        I rode my bike home really fast, told my parents, and they did the exact right thing: they called the police. The police treated the incident quite seriously.

        And thanks to the cops and the fact no one in my family went with ‘liar’, the trauma was limited.

        • Boojum

          My Mom was molested as a child. My grandmother insisted she keep it secret because she didn’t my granddad to go to jail for murder.

        • SpideySenser

          Good for your ‘rents. And for the cops, too. They may have suspected this guy for a while and your story confirmed it, so off the streets for him.

    • Pisto75666

      Holy shit.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “Why don’t women speak out?!?!”

      *GOP voters dox women on the internet. Send them death threats and jizz-filled pictures, using public social media platform*

      “Why don’t women speak out?!?!”

      • Cosmic Owl

        Women are almost always called liars, is why.

        Frequently by their own families, as well.

        Sheeet, why speak up? All you get is re traumatized.

  • ken_kukec

    Used to be, I thought the evangelical right was just wrong about everything (and dumb as mud, most of ’em), but I credited them with sincerity of belief. No more. Their willingness to follow the likes of Donald Trump and Roy Moore into the moral abyss reveals it to be naught but public sanctimony for the vast majority of them.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “Cafeteria Christians” … take what you need at the time you need it.

  • Cosmic Owl

    These days, Mittens Romney as a senator doesn’t seem all that bad.

    Yes, that’s how low these times are for some.

    • orlaheho

      Curse you Alabama for making me agree with Mitt 47% Romney

  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    I believe that the Lord had a few words about people who stood on the street corners proclaiming how holy they were. Maybe we need someone to take a whip and chase them from our temples.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      Whip it GOOD!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Skipper catches himself in mid-sentence messing up a talking point by not using “Democrat”. All very childish. I’d say we should start the campaign to label the Republican Party as the Republic Party, but, you know, I grew up.

    • Covfefe

      I know it’s just me but I always call them fucking Republicans. Or, in polite company, gramma-raping Republicans.

      • Boojum

        My Dad taught me by example that Republican-son-of-a-bitch was one word.

    • JohnBull

      English isn’t their strong suit, although they sure get pissed when people around them don’t speak it.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Alabama Republican caught in flagrante delicto: “Hell, she tole me she were eighteen!”

    “Now gawdammit, Jim Bob, that just won’t fly! Y’all know how old she is! She’s yor sister!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Alabama’s new state motto: “Bros before hoes.”

    • Hardly Ideal

      With a pretty liberal definition of “hoes.”

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Back when I was a 13 y/o girl, I didn’t look like a 13 y/o girl. Men noticed me. There was this one 30ish fella who got my attention and I did my best to get his attention. Nothing ever came of it though, because after I successfully caught his eye, he said hi and asked my age. He was actually pretty creepy and weird BUT HE WASN’T A PEDOPHILE so he took a pass.

    This was a backwoods uneducated hillbilly and he figured it out. It’s really not that complicated Roy.

    • TJ Barke

      People like Roy Moore believe they are entitled to what they want. God tells them it’s okay.

      • Cosmic Owl

        Jesus will always forgive him, dontcha know.

        Just ask him.

    • nightmoth

      EXACTLY! (I love your story)

  • ziggywiggy

    Please punch him in the dick….with votes.

  • nightmoth

    Okay, well—I feel stabby so these commenting rules are restricting what I can say on Wonkette, so I’d like to remind these slimeturds that their blessed Lord and Savior said something about how if you hurt minors (also known as “children”) you oughta have a millstone hung around your neck and drowned. Hey, Jesus said it, not me.

  • george lastrapes

    I love the smell of comeuppance in the morning.

  • Cosmic Owl

    Alabama will proudly vote for a pedophile, who will be a US senator.

    This is NOT NORMAL.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Well, it IS Alabama. . .

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    • mailman27

      No, Gilligan, bad touch!!

    • Ωbjectifier

      Love Rites of the Ozarks is the name of my upcoming techno-billy grind core concept album.

  • Brian Loudermilch

    Well, Damn. Calling them “Deplorable” was the Greatest Understatement in History.

  • ManchuCandidate

    If a hypothetical 32 year old man came a courting for my hypothetical 16 old daughter I would be courting him with an aluminum baseball bat. No votes. It might work for Bama GOPers but not for me.

    If he was 40 and 24 well… I would not be happy but she’s an adult.

    • Boojum

      What do you know. When he was 42 he married a 25 year old.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Well, I am for shocked…

        • puredog

          Hey! 17-year-gap LIBULZ!!11!!

  • Rickyphoo

    I’m not surprised. The current GOP would support Roy Moore, even if they personally witnessed him diddling under age girls, if it meant keeping control of the Senate and thus their power to do the bidding of their wealth and corporate overlords.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Roy Moore may be a kidfucker, but hypothetical gender fluid frogs with wings therefore fake news.

    How do these people not get run over chasing shiny hood ornaments?

    • Sophia

      How do these people not get run over chasing shiny hood ornaments?

      Stealing that.

  • BMW

    Mitt Romney, stop making me like you.

    • YetAnotherRebecca

      Good god, what is the word coming to when I’m developing genuine affection for people like Romney, Nicole Wallace, Steve Schmitt, Michael Steele, David Frum….people who I don’t agree with on a single issue other IT’S BAD TO BE A HATEFUL LUNATIC and PEDOPHILE.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Roy Moore: all hat, no cattle (the cattle all ran off because, y’know – heifers)!….

  • I hope all these Moore-backing Republican shills are well-known to their local Neighborhood Watches.

  • therblig

    Won’t somebody think of the children?

    “I do. Constantly.” – Roy Moore

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Ew.

  • bbayliss
  • mailman27

    So the guy correctly uses the term “Democratic” and then corrects it to the incorrect “Democrat.” These fucking people.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I love how they always say “democrat” with such a sneer. “Those advocates of democracy… I’d rather have my gums scraped than vote for one!”

  • ziggywiggy

    There are no words to describe my hate for these people but I’ll try. Fuck these putrid piles of maggot shit in human suits, garbage bags that resemble skin barely holding back an explosion of rat feces, jizz and moldy slime scraped off the walls of a 1970’s era NY subway station bathroom during a heatwave.

  • yellowmattercustard

    “If they’re old enough to crawl then they’re in the right position”.

    • Meccalopolis

      “makes your dick look huge!”

      sorry, I’m gonna throw up now

  • LesBontemps

    Jesus fucking Christ, I hate agreeing with Mitt Romney.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Mittens is only upset because it happened outside the auspices of plural child marriage.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Of course they don’t mind “kid touchers.” There’s some damning evidence that Trump himself dated underage girls: President Donald Trump called Epstein a “terrific guy” back in 2002, saying that “he’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.” He made a pact with his 17 year old daughter that he wouldn’t date anyone younger than her. He walked into the dressing rooms of teenage beauty pageant contestants. And then there are the barrage of inappropriate photos that have been taken of him and Ivanka, including this one I hadn’t seen before:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3816414/Seventeen-year-old-Ivanka-Trump-dad-swear-never-date-younger-her.html

    Republicans don’t care just as long as liberals are miserable. They hate liberals more than they love the country.

    • Meccalopolis

      ugh, I need soul bleach

  • Swampay

    One of those assholes says “she was supposedly 14”. SUPPOSEDLY!?!?!? You’re so in denial you’re going to say that this easily verified fact is SUPPOSEDLY? Oh just … sorry, almost violated the TOS. Lemme see. May you end up in the worst hell of your own imagination.

    • beatbort

      He wouldn’t say that if she were his daughter.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Isn’t it amazing how the people who keep bringing up Juanita Brodderick, Juanita Jones, etc., again and again and again–to smear THE SPOUSE OF the person who allegedly abused them–now think there should be a statute of limitations on sexual abuse allegations.

    BTW, has Moore ever explicitly denied doing what those women said he did?

    • gingerland62

      They are very concerned with Muslim child marriages, also, too.

    • puredog

      I believe he has pieholed that the allegations are “false,” but he hasn’t hammered on their falsity, mostly just saying they are disgusting nasty vicious and vile, which are all accurate adjectives.

  • Viktor

    WWJD? He would born from an underage girl, and a virgin, and her older carpenter friend turned husband. The Bible is the Pedo’s first book

    • Meccalopolis

      Are all christians pedos? the team discusses next on fox

  • renegade500

    Yep, it’s so easy to make accusations, because you know, the woman will always be believed, and treated with compassion for her experience, and the behavior will be seen as problematic. Oh, wait…

    You know, a man makes an accusation against a man of sexual abuse from the past, and immediately, that man is taken seriously, and the accused is removed from every single project associated with his name. A woman makes an accusation against a man of sexual abuse from the past, and hold on now, she just really regrets her bad decision, let’s not ruin a man’s life because of this.

    Jeesus fucking Christ. And people wonder why women sometimes wait decades to report these things.

  • puredog

    First I find myself pining for Dubya and now I find myself agreeing with Mittens. It’s the end times, that’s fer sher.

    • teele

      St. Ronnie set us sliding down that slippery slope. It’s so slippery and steep that we have plowed down straight into the dirt, and are heading for the center of the earth (or hell).

  • beatbort

    Alabama’s license plates used to be emblazoned with the slogan “The Heart of Dixie”. If they go ahead and elect this guy Senator, they need to change that slogan to “The Heart of Darkness”

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Alabama – We put the dicks in Dixie.

  • CripesAmighty

    After all, it was Alabama 40 years ago, when the ‘dating pool’ was also known as the BARNYARD.
    (h/t Judy Tenuda)

    • chicken thief

      Nothing to see here – moooooo-ve along….

      • Yellerduck

        That was baa-aaa-ddd.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      I <3 Judy Tenuda.

  • Ricky Gay

    Angry TrumpTrolls on the twitters sure don’t want to explain their support of Roy Moore. To a one, the response is a pix of Bill C. and old impeachment headlines.
    It’s always the Clenis. :(

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      but all the righties are saying we should ignore decades old, unproven, allegations.

      • Ricky Gay

        IOKIYAR diddler

  • JMP

    Way to prove every stereotype of Southerners true, Alabama Republicans. From now on, if I ever speak to someone from Alabama I guess it will be safe to assume they’re a child molester.

  • Nockular cavity

    here is Mitt Romney, having a soul

    We live in strange times indeed.

  • Meccalopolis

    14 year olds make dumb decisions.. which is why they cannot consent

    • Angela Ruzzo

      We have some very strange attitudes in this country about when a person is old enough to make decisions. At 14 you can’t consent to sex, you can’t drive, you can’t vote, you can’t buy alcohol, you can’t buy cigarettes, but if you kill someone you can be tried as an adult if the Prosecuting Attorney and the Judge are big enough assholes.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m not really expecting anything these assholes say to make sense, on one hand. But I’m a lawyer, so my natural inclination is to (try to) parse out tortured language use. So…per this Seibenhener chode:
      1) “It’s not forcible rape” – he’s not saying he doesn’t think it may have happened, just that it wasn’t RAPE rape. You know, the real kind.
      2) “…14-year-olds don’t make good decisions” – so this kid made the decision to *not* let good ole boy Roy (non-forcibly) rape her. Because…14yo kids don’t make good decisions? A good decision would have been to let him have his way with her? What??
      3) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/558d7a6960b0af38696f27bf19ed0e0a1e2f1837b5e54a853d49b732ba0e85c4.gif

    • chicken thief

      Wasn’t Trayvon Martin 15? So clearly at 15 they are old enough to knowingly engage in criminal activities like eating Skittles while wearing a hoodie and being blah after dark.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Keith Taylor

      I think those SHOULD have been the Ten Commandments he installed in stone in the Judicial Building, but that would have been honest.
      I assume the ones he did install there were the ones in Exodus Chapter 20 that most of us take for granted are the only set of Ten Commandments in the Bible. Which are wholly (not holy) unconstitutional in the United States. Commandment Number One says “You shall worship one god and one god only.” U.S. Constitutional Amendment Number One says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”
      Commandment Number Two would make those Confederate statues the hooraw was about, forbidden anyway, and all other statues, even Lincoln’s and Washington’s.
      If I were Roy Moore, perish the thought, I’d be pretty worried about Commandment Number Three. “Do not use my name for evil purposes, for I, the LORD your God, will punish anyone who misuses my name.”
      But there is also a SECOND set of commandments, in Exodus Chapter 34, which is supposed to be identical to the first set — “the words that were on the first tablets” — but in fact is completely different. When Moses came down from Mount Sinai the first time, and found the Children of Israel worshipping the Golden Calf, he smashed the first tablets of the Law in a rage, and then had three thousand idolaters put to the sword by the Levites. Check out Exodus 34. The commandments most people would endorse, like Do Not Commit Murder, Do Not Steal, Do Not Commit Perjury in Legal Cases to Gain an Advantage Over Your Neighbour, even Do Not Commit Adultery, are absent.
      Instead we have:
      1. Do not worship any god but me.
      2. Keep the Festival of Unleavened Bread.
      3. Devote every first born son and first born male domestic animal to me.
      4. Don’t come to worship me without bringing an offering.
      5. Don’t do any work on the Sabbath Day, not even at ploughing time or harvest, when it’s most urgent.
      6. Observe Harvest Festival and the Festival of Shelters.
      7. All men must come and worship me three times a year. Don’t worry about hostile tribes moving against you; I guarantee personally, as God, that you won’t be invaded during the three festivals.
      8. Don’t offer leavened bread with animal sacrifices.
      9. Bring the first grain that you harvest to my temple each year.
      10. Do not cook a young sheep or goat in its mother’s milk.
      I can definitely see how that last one, for instance, is more important that “You shall not commit murder.” There is also nothing there about “You shall not molest exceedingly young girls”. Maybe Moore should have opted for Exodus 34 and not 20.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Isn’t the whole point of the story about Mary and Joseph the fact that he DIDN’T touch her? He was going to say so, until that angel stepped in and told him to shut up. Jim Ziegler needs to go back and read that part again. In fact, I suggest that Jim Ziegler spend the rest of his life doing nothing but reading the Bible, alone, in a small room somewhere, and get out of politics.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Well, there goes breakfast. And I’m no longer hungry.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Me neither, but it’s only 1:10 pm here and I am already thinking of having a big, stiff drink.

      • Jonny On Maui

        If I wasn’t playing with power tools wake and bake would be invoked.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I’m confused…is it that Democrats ARE pedophiles, or that they are WORSE than pedophiles. Logically, it can’t be both (not that logic has anything to do with the GOP, in fact I think it is a prerequisite to not have any to join that party).

    • Edith Prickly

      It’s late-stage Fox News-induced dementia. Any Republican, no matter how depraved and hypocritical, is still better than a Democrat.

      • chicken thief

        Well, ya got yer tax cuts for jerb creators on the one hand, and also too pertecking our daughters from havin to stare at peens while they are doin their bidness and on the other hand ya got yer tax and spend Demoncrats hoodwinked by that Muslin fella that toured the world a’hatin on Americuh.

        What can ya do?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    JFC. Mittens: Voice of Reason.

  • Edith Prickly

    Charlie Pierce makes some predictions.

  • Jack Takes A Knee

    You guys know I suffer from the serious deficit of having been born in Talladega. I lived in Bombingham most of my life until my early parole last year.

    Now that’s out of the way, nothing, and I mean NOTHING will stop these goobers from voting against the Democrat. Forget the fact that any Alabama Democrat is likely pro-life, pro-gun and pro-God. These details escape them. Alabama has always been a binary state. You’re either for Alabama or for Auburn. If you’re for Auburn, you will root for whoever plays Alabama, even at the expense of a national championship. This is important to understanding the mindset there.

    To Alabamians, this is all a fucking game. This has no consequences to them beyond ‘winning’. Alabamians, by and large, think they are ‘sticking it to’ the rest of the country by wallowing in their own shit. They don’t give a fuck about how this shit really makes all the notions of how ass backwards they are ring painfully true. They whine and cry about how nobody ‘really’ understands them, then they get full-on behind a pedophilic religionist that will destroy their teams chances on the national stage by being a walking, talking symbol of everything wrong with the Republican party. Yes, they will cut off their own dicks with a pair of safety scissors if someone told them it would really upset them big city librulz.

    TL;DR Moore will win. Alabama is a wasteland.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Let’s see… (rifles through old cassette tapes) Aha!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0VKU7HVH8g

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Commentary on GOP from Max Boot:

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/11/10/roy-moore-response-shows-gop-doesnt-deserve-survive-max-boot-column/851640001/

    It ends with:

    … more to the point, Roy Moore could molest a 14-year-old girl and not lose votes. Because for Republican partisans, their opponents are “the forces of evil,” and anything is preferable to that. Even Donald Trump. Even Roy Moore. So in ostensibly fighting evil, Republicans have become complicit in it.

    This is a party that does not deserve to survive.

  • Questioner

    This is only my second time or so posting anything (let’s just say I have an extra dose of the *in* in introvert!), but Wonkette has absolutely been a lifeline during this past year and I read it compulsively. This may have been posted already, but here is a tangible, low cost way to help support the effort to elect Doug Jones:

    postcardstovoters.orgs

    This group has coordinated more than 5000 volunteers from all 50 states to write nearly 500K postcards to registered Dems prior to elections JUST SINCE MARCH (they were involved in Tuesday’s elections down to very local races). If you email them, they will send you some required things that need to be included in the postcard message, as well as extra talking points you may feel most strongly about yourself and want to choose from to include. Once you make your first postcard (they have examples on the site to follow), you send them a pic and then they send you as many addresses as you request (they have to be written/sent in the following three days and you can ask for more). They are trying to make sure each registered Dem in the state gets exactly one postcard from another registered Dem prior to the Dec 12 election.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Welcome, Questioner, and thanks for the URL; I’m sending cards. (You might edit the URL to postcardstovoters.org, rather than postcardstovoters.orgs.)

      • Questioner

        Thanks for the heads up and welcome — I wondered why it wasn’t a live link but I didn’t notice the typo!

    • chicken thief

      Wonkette does not allow comments.

  • Susie Lochary

    These fuckin dimwitted christian fascist dominionists are NEVER gonna have the upper hand on morality EVER again! Someday, when all the flyover fucktards have all died from their addiction to high calorie and low nutrition food, alcohol and hillbilly heroin related diseases and overdoses or just their nasty, vile and hateful “hearts” finally give out, we will get our country back. And don’t forget that Roy Moore thinks it’s just fine and dandy that we strip all rights away from LGBT citizens. But those hypocrites would probably still be defending Moore if the child victim was a boy cause they adore him almost as much as they do that scumbag in the Whitehouse

  • Bill Diaz

    I was a Republican once, long ago, back when you could do that and not be ashamed. It all ended with the rise of the religious right and the ending of what used to be called ‘New England Republicans’ back in the early 90’s. As a thinking, feeling, educated, rational human being, I have no idea how ANYONE could support a Republican under any circumstance and it shames me that Vermont has a GOP governor and the country I served in combat could elect a 6 year old with anger and impulse control problems to be our CinC.

    If I wasnt a worthless, unemployed cripple, I would go ANYWHERE in the world where they would take me.

    2/505 PIR, H-Minus
    Have a great day!

    • Anarchy Unicorn

      You may be unemployed and disabled, but never think you are worthless.

      Signed- another tired old alcoholic combat veteran.

      • Bill Diaz

        If you are an alcoholic, then you have my sympathy and my prayers for what it is worth. My pain is merely physical and could be healed if it werent for incompetence and indifference. Your wounds are psychic and your healing is far more abstract and potentially tenuous than my own.

        If youre not joking, then you are a better and braver man than I, if you are, then you are funnier too.

        2/505 PIR, H-Minus
        Have a great (Veteran’s) day!

        • Keith Taylor

          Oh, God. I don’t even know what to say. Except that you blokes are champions in my book.

    • Bill sweetie :hugs: Good to see you. Have you gotten someplace?

      • Bill Diaz

        U Penn released me yesterday and I have been vomiting pretty much non-stop ever since. Despite my 10 year diagnosis of pancreatitis and the fact that I havent had a joint in over a month, the medical geniuses here archly informed me that my problem is psychosomatic and I have ‘marijuana induced hyperemesis’. Marijuana btw is the only thing that allows me to eat at all without vomiting, but at my doctor’s suggestion that it was the problem, I stopped buying weed just to check…

        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5360975/

        I am too weak to leave the house on most days and force myself to take a shower once or twice a week (when I can actually smell myself, usually due to vomiting), but boy, their medical acumen is right on the money!

        What it actually is, is the doctors from the VA trying furiously to cover up the act of malpractice that cost me ~70 pounds last year and stacking my records with fun things (like a chapter 12) putting my very sanity and competence to make medical decisions in question (I shit thee not)

        Currently, I am waiting in the U Penn ER, having gone through triage vomiting more than a liter with a BP of 209/128, all of which is just a fig newton of my imagination.

        Anyone know a decent lawyer looking to do a good deed for Veteran’s Day?

        Have a great day!

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      You are not worthless. Your posts are always great and I enjoy reading them (not that my opinion is anything to ‘write home to mother about’ – lol – but there it is).

      • Bill Diaz

        Worthless is relative. I am at the point now where I can no longer take care of myself and the only thing that keeps me from wanting to end it all to escape the pain is pure spite and contrariness on my behalf. I dont mean to beg for compliments or to impugn the tens of thousands of vets who valiently struggle and succeed against their disabilities, but if you have ever read Ralph Ellison’s ‘Invisible Man’, the combination of color, cripple and looking like a homeless person means that I could probably walk in and wipe my ass with the Hope Diamond and no one would notice.

        Have a great (Veteran’s) day!

  • M.E. Lawrence

    “14-year-olds don’t make good decisions.” Sweet baby Jesus. There you have an age-old excuse for rape, neatly summed up in seven words. (Not to neglect that other ancient favorite, “She secretly wanted it.”)

    • Isn’t that the general reason why they are considered unable to consent?

    • Anarchy Unicorn

      Mine is currently 13 and on many days is a major asshole. I don’t think rape is an appropriate response though.

      • Old Nick

        I started thinking about the pep talk I gave the first boy who came to take out my daughter (age 15, maybe) . A little Tony Montana, a little Vito Corleone, a little Incredible Hulk . She has never forgiven me all the way, but at least she came home safe and knows how her father feels about her. I suppose it didn’t help that I was sharpening an ax when he showed up. She is now 33, married to a good guy and about to have my first grandchild. I still feel protective. Remember the scene in Tom Jones in which Squire Western offers to qualify Tom to run in the Geldings’ Stake?

  • Zyxomma

    Yeah, so they all want to know why she waited 40 years to come forward with the info. Well, just maybe, a frightened little teen who was in the middle of a custody battle was, you know, FRIGHTENED of a 32 year old attorney; even to the point of not telling mom.

    Did y’all know that when he first ran for office, Moore did so as a Democrat? Neither did I.

  • Edith Prickly

    Mitch McConnell must be suffering debilitating chest pains and hyperventilating over this. The national party wanted Strange to stay on and backed him, the Bannonite faction riled up the lizard-brains to get Moore on the ballot, and now there’s a Force 10 scandal brewing. Can’t say it enough times, Rethugs: YOU LET THIS HAPPEN.

  • azeyote

    if Jones calls them deplorable he’ll lose the election for sure –

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    “If they believe this man is predatory, they are guilty of allowing him to exist for 40 years. I think someone should prosecute and go after them. You can’t be a victim 40 years later, in my opinion”

    The difference between then, and now, GOP?

    Women have seen what being silent does. It does NOTHING, and yet the bullshit continues. It even gets excused for someone running for President of the UNITED STATES.

    Women have decided this shit has got to stop. Being silent is no longer an option. Letting this kind of sleaze go unmentioned? Nope. #MeToo showed the massive ugly hugeness of this gross mountain being swept under all of these rugs.

    So fuck you, creepers. You built this. You enabled one of the worst of the creepers to become the President of all of us.

    Therefore, THAT WAS THE LAST ONE. You don’t get another.
    Fuck Roy Moore, and fuck all of you creepers.

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      And the weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth and temper tantrums from the patriarchy will be great.

      • Keith Taylor

        Let’s hope so. And the sleepless nights very very many. And may the number of criminal charges long overdue be not small.

  • JD Mulvey

    When did Mitt Romney become such a cool guy?

    • Weird Fishes

      I don’t think his basic decency has necessarily been called to question (unless you’re the family dog) as much as his particular brand of clueless privileged white guy.

      • JD Mulvey

        “Basic decency” used to seem like a fairly low bar.

        • Resistor Radio

          Simpler times…

        • Weird Fishes

          Sad but true.

      • Deborah Ujevich

        EXACTLY.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I never really doubted Mitt was a basically decent man. He was just fucking clueless and had really shitty ideas. Also too religious for the presidency. No mixing religion with government.

  • Weird Fishes

    I thought Strange was Trump’s guy, and that monster Moore was Bannon’s. Or something along those lines.

  • Resistor Radio

    Well shit, hats off to Mitt fucking Romney. First and probably last time I’ll ever say that, but way to have some decency, Mittens.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    GOP’s general response: “Well, goshdurn, what the heck kind of growed man AIN’T never kissed a cute little teenage girly, or younger sister or somethin’? No kind a growed man I’d ever wanna be! Why you askin’ ’bout something so goldurn natural?”

    • Lily412

      “What are you, GAY or something?”

  • writersbloc

    Last time I got to be vetted to sit on a jury it was for a sexual assault case involving a minor. That’s all the details we were given. It was mind blowing how many men commented how they couldn’t be impartial because “some girls know what they’re doing and might have been trapping the accused.” Didn’t matter how often the prosecutor reminded them it didn’t matter what they thought, but what the law stated.

  • Do we need any further proof about which party really represents the moral majority?
    I mean, I did not need proof, myself. We eat our own for cheating on a test, never mind touching a child.

  • chicken thief

    “…“The Obama-Clinton Machine’s liberal media lapdogs…”

    I’m so old I can remember when it used to be “Pelosi – Reid”….

  • m3bosha

    What sucks is no matter what comes out, Moore is going to be elected. However, it does seem that Senate republicans aren’t to keen on shitheels joining their little club. They want his vote, but they won’t put up with his shit. You know he’s the type of asshole who will try to push is radical BS like overturning same sex marriage right off, and I can’t see Yurtle and friends having any time for that noise.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      He and Ted Cruz can bond over a government shutdown or something.

      • Donna Mueller

        cruz,the hooftie moore and that idiot gohmert could have a circle jerk.

    • anomie

      It looks like McConnell is ready to sacrifice the R vote in order not to have Moore in the Senate. Just reading between the lines of his statement.

    • Keith Taylor

      Even overlooking this creepy obscene assault (if one can, which one can’t) this dingbat was bounced from the position of Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court — TWICE! — for refusing to comply with the law and the constitution.
      What in the everlasting name of God does it take to be ineligible for the Senate now that Trump is President?
      To quote Nicholas Cage as Cameron Poe in CON-AIR, “My first thought would be … a lot.”

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I like the one that basically goes like this:

    – Bah! His accuser is obviously a Democrat who wants to discredit him!
    – She’s a Republican, actually.
    – Well, there you go! Q. E. D. I rest my case! Egg on your face, I’d say.

    No sign of the hobgoblin of little minds in these people… But at least we know now what they mean when they talk about standing for traditional family values.

    https://twitter.com/caitlin__kelly/status/928817412304236544

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      The one that makes me groan is “Soros is behind this.”

      • Keith Taylor

        He’s behind everything. And he was a Nazi collaborator in WWII, and even a member of the SS, because there’s a photo of him online as a young man in SS uniform … so long as you’re willing to overlook that it’s a photo of a different person, Oskar Groening, who was posted to Auschwitz in 1942, at which time Soros was twelve. But convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza says he was a collaborator, and sure D’Souza is an honourable man. Mike Cernovich too.
        Having either of these walking compost heaps smear you is pretty convincing proof that you can’t be what they say. They tell the truth about as often as Alex Jones does. Which is to say, very rarely and then by accident. And since all leftie protestors are paid by Soros, there must be quite a few walking around who feel irked that they didn’t receive their money …

    • phoenix00

      #MAGA!!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    In other news, people are very stupid.

    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/929021826323374080

    • Charon_69

      It’s cute that he had hope left going into that story

  • CATMAN

    What I find significant is that Moore has not denied that these incidents occurred but has only attacked the reporting as false, so this is elementary lawyering, not denying that the allegations are true which could be considered perjury if later the facts come out but attacking the veracity of the witness

    • Donna Mueller

      yeah-when does the part come in his narrative that it’s all those young girls fault because of lady parts and…..reasons!!!!???

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    I will always suspect a man who is literally twice my child’s age and trying to date him or her. Even when they’re 50 and 53

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Both my father and my husband’s second wives are respectively 22 and 16 years younger than they are, and even that creeps me out. I’m sorry, no, you don’t “catch up” if they were 9 when you were 25, or 31, you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

      • anomie

        I have to respectfully disagree with you. My husband is 16 years older than I am. He was 43 and I was 27 when we got married – first marriage for both. Truly no big deal. We just get along well. And 24 years & 2 kids later, it’s still no big deal (the age diff, that is).

        Clearly I was well into the age of consent and he was (just barely) still able to be housebroken after living as a single male for so long. ;) But for this reason I wouldn’t make blanket statements about age differences.

        With Moore, however, we’re talking about a whole age range that is developmentally at odds with a 32+ year old man. Not to mention illegal in the case of the 14-year-old.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          First marriage on it says a lot. But when you’re the old lady who was thrown over you have a whole different perspective.

          • anomie

            No doubt that is true – very hurtful to you and I’m sorry that’s been part of your life.

            I was only addressing the idea that there was no way for me to “catch up” since I was 9 when my husband was 25. We joke about these things but it’s never been weird for us at all.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    The fake-Christian mindset forgave the Duggars. They forgave Scott Des Jarlais (R-TN) and re-elected him. They forgave Jim Bakker and other predatory church leaders cut from the same cloth. But there is no forgiveness of Pastor Ted Haggard (gay sex). It’s okay to molest women and girls and you’ll be forgiven. The tenets of patriarchy state they are broodmares anyway.

    • phoenix00

      They don’t just forgive, they enabled and sheltered.

    • Mike Steele

      It’s that age-old cardinal rule of politics: Don’t get caught with a dead girl or a live boy (lookin’ at you, Morning Joe and Dennis Hastert).

  • SheltonTodd

    Though the charges may vex and annoy
    Or might be a liberal ploy
    Through all of the hate
    We can clearly state
    Thank God Roy was not caught with a boy

    • phoenix00

      …. that we know of.

  • YaJagoff

    Can we start feeding these ‘Christians’ to the lions again? Askin’ for a friend.

    • phoenix00
    • unionthuggery

      That’s just what they want. They neeeeeeed to be persecuted. They are sure they are already so persecuted. They wouldn’t know what to do if it was happening for real.

      • Keith Taylor

        Don’t know how they reconcile the idea that THEY are a persecuted minority with the actual figures. Seventy per cent of Americans identify as Christians, about twenty per cent as evangelical Christians. For Muslims in the U.S. population it’s slightly less than one per cent. Clearly the Christians are not as outnumbered and harassed as all that. Not by the atheists either.
        But you’re right. It must feel SO good to claim you’re a righteous crushed minority, like the Christians in the time of Nero. (Actually Donald Trump is more like Nero than anybody else currently around, especially with regard to his immense, unstable ego, and they love him. Hope he’s out of office before he succeeds in burning the country to the ground. If he’s not I suppose they will just claim their mythical Deep State did it.)

        • unionthuggery

          Nero, libelz! Nero is a victim of Christian propaganda and revisionism. It’s true he was away at a party in Herculaneum when Rome burned. However, he immediately responded when he was made aware, and opened up the field of Mars for those that were displaced.

          He did do a dumb and build a giant palace on the prime property that burned. He, like all of his fellow emperors had quite the ego, and I’m sure he did do a bunch of crazies. In many respects he was a good emperor and his policies were sound.

          • Keith Taylor

            My mistake. I’m sure Nero did get a damned bad press from the Christians. Sort of like the way the Clintons and Obamas are getting a damned bad press from the Christians now?

    • Keith Taylor

      We absolutely cannot! What’ve you got against lions?

      • YaJagoff

        I got nothin’ against lions but hey they gotta eat too.

        • Keith Taylor

          I know, but … a horrible toxic meal like this person? If they had to live on meat like that exclusively, they’d soon be extinct, wouldn’t they?

          • YaJagoff

            Good point. I guess I didn’t think it through.

  • starfanglednut

    They’re actually gonna elect this scumbag, aren’t they?

    • davefromoregon

      Perhaps, but I wouldn’t bet there aren’t more of these cases. This might be the moment this comes up.

  • Charon_69

    first off Disqus, seriously? am I going to have to log in every day now?

    second, he’s a ‘sincere, honest, trustworthy individual?’ booted off the bench twice for not complying with Federal law wasn’t he?

    • Amalga

      Yes. AND you get to log in every time you want to upvote a non comment or reply to one! Aren’t we special?

  • Russell Jones

    Good God Almighty, y’all should check out Moore’s interview with Hannity!

    Hannity: Do you remember dating girls that young?

    Moore: Not generally, no.

    And later –

    Moore: I don’t remember dating any girl without the permission of her mother.

    Epic.

    There’s a reason Moore was refusing to give interviews or debate his Democratic opponent – in addition to all his other nauseating qualities, Moore is breathtakingly stupid.

  • norcalOG

    If he did take that girl to his house, I bet he played her lots of proper music. Like some Jerry Lee Lewis and his soothing “Great Balls ON Fire.”
    That tune touched lots of people.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Sounds like ole Mitt is longing for the days when Republicans just figuratively raped us, and not literally raped us.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    All bitches are liars, except the ones who accuse Bill Clinton of something. Those women are brave truth tellers.

    • norcalOG

      One even got the shit kicked out of her by Tonya Harding on Celebrity Boxing. You can’t get much braver than that.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Holy shit, I missed the part where Obama and Hillary time-traveled back into the 70s and brainwashed him into hitting on a little girl outside a custody hearing.

    Hilarious.

    • Keith Taylor

      You missed THAT? I thought everybody knew about it!

  • Nick.Trite

    The worst hot take is the Alabama state auditor’s take that “Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus” because:
    A. Ew
    B. Joseph was famously NOT Jesus’s father….

    • Buzz1313

      I wonder how that state auditor would react to a 32 year old man picking up his 14 year old daughter for a date.

    • phoenix00

      C. That’s not even what’s in the bible.

    • Keith Taylor

      Especially “A”. As though it matters in any way how old some Galilean girl and her bridegroom were in the early first century A.D. We are talking about the law of the land in Alabama in the 20th century here. Well … most of us would be. Apparently not Alabama’s state auditor, though.

  • Buzz1313

    LBJ said Democrats would lose the South upon the passage of the Civil Rights Act. They’d rather support Moore than see a Democrat win because no matter what Roy Moore did to that 14 year old girl, it’s not as bad as what LBJ did to their very identites as white people. This is the reason they’re supporting a pedophile over a Democrat. They hate Democrats because they see Democrats as pro black and they cannot have that.

  • chimpevil

    I’m from a new land
    I come to you
    And see all this ruin
    What are you doing Alabama?
    You got the rest of the Union
    To help you along
    What’s going wrong?

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Are those Skeltonics?

      • chimpevil

        Neil

        • davefromoregon

          That is Mr. Young, if you please.

  • phoenix00

    Moore was “unfit for office” even before all this.

    Now? Just send him to hell already. With votes.

  • unionthuggery

    I miss Republican candidates that were woefully, and hilariously out of touch, like Mittens. This new variety are all just the worst.

  • Kitty Smith

    I promise to you every one of those Republicans molested at least one child. Each.

  • Keith Taylor

    Don’t know what … cannot find words … I am stunned with disgust even though I never for a second expected anything better …
    Deep breath. Try to be coherent.
    FUCK!
    I can understand people who support Moore and vehemently deny he made serious efforts to molest a fourteen-year-old girl. (I’m putting the allegations at the mildest. If it’s true, and I’ve no reason to think it’s not, he DID molest her, not just tried.) I can understand their not wanting to believe it, but rather wanting to regard him as an honourable, upright man.
    I cannot even begin to comprehend the turpitude and depravity of people who have the gall to claim that even if it’s true, it’s not that big a deal and anyway fully adult men coming on to young teenaged girls is allowable because Joseph married Mary and it was reckoned fine in the time of Jesus, also elsewhere in the Bible. Even to make such an excuse, or ANY excuse, they must suspect somewhere inside themselves that it MIGHT be true. And they are still fine with it.

    • demmie36

      The shock you’re feeling, you’ve clearly never been a teenage girl. Having been one, yeah, of course they do. And they’re everywhere. In fact, I’m getting warned by people to “watch” my 11 year old daughter because she looks 16, so she looks fair game. And men catcall her, stare at her breasts or her butt, follow her, etc.

      • Keith Taylor

        Clearly you’re a good mother. Hope everything always goes well for you and your daughter. Also that someone kicks the backside of the next creep who hassles her.

  • SineDie

    Moore is falling behind in the polls. There are a lot of evangelicals in AL, true, but there are still plenty of moms and dads there who’d ring Moore’s neck if he got near their 14-year old daughters.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/360009-poll-democrat-leads-roy-moore-in-alabama-senate-race

  • davefromoregon

    I do want to point out that Moore has gone from tied to minus 4. People do have their limits on what they will tolerate.

  • george lastrapes

    I can see Alabamans saying publicly that they support the alleged kiddiddler, probably out of sheer cussedness, and then voting against him in the privacy of the voting booth.

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